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Pick it Up

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It’s in the introductory micro-economics class that San and Wooyoung first saw each other. Wooyoung had noticed San only because a cheeky Yeosang next to him had pointed out that ‘the guy over there with the red highlights’ was exactly Wooyoung’s type. There was no denial from the latter, he was just more interested in the class that was about to start.

Wooyoung was majoring in performing arts with a focus on dance, his real passion. While his parents agreed to let him enroll in his dream course, they had one condition: minor in something business-related so he would always have a back-up plan. Wooyoung didn’t mind and applied for a business management minor. It was nice to study diverse subjects as it kept him busy. The marketing and management courses were fine but he worried a lot about economics. He had never been good at it back in high school so he really needed to focus in this class.

Yeosang, the boy who was now sitting next to him and looking around the room in search for cute boys, had been his best friend since middle school. They had attended the same classes for the past 5 years and made sure to enroll in the same university. Yeosang was majoring in business management, which meant him and Wooyoung still had several classes in common.

Both of them were in their sophomore year and had been living a fairly quiet university life. They were together most of the time, rooming together in their freshmen year and only attending a few parties. They had mostly stopped going because of Yeosang’s ex-boyfriend, Jongho, who went to every party there was. It was a bother to keep running into him and it made things too awkward for Yeosang. As a result, the two best friends turned to relaxing evenings during which they entertained themselves through gaming, watching movies, drinking soju or just chatting.

This semester, they would probably not be roommates again. Their dorm management thought it would be fun to pick roommates at random, which seemed completely useless to Wooyoung but he wasn’t too bothered. As long as he wasn’t paired with someone loud and messy, he had no problems making friends.

When the professor came in, the two boys decided to focus on the lecture and get to know what they would be assessed on this semester. The course assessment included short assignments, mid-term, a group project and a final exam. They would also be having seminars twice a week with Park Seonghwa, a name that sounded vaguely familiar to Wooyoung. When there were 10 minutes left of the class, the professor asked the students to form groups of 5. The groups would be permanent for the whole semester and would share assignments and the main project.

Yeosang turned to Wooyoung and they exchanged a knowing look. Picking the right teammates was extremely important, none of them wanted to have groupmates with no sense of responsibility. They got up and went to stand in a corner of the room, looking around at the messy crowd of students.
“So, we need three people” Yeosang stated, earning a nod from his friend. Since almost all of his classes included group projects, he’d gotten quite good at picking the right students. He could tell from their demeanor whether they were careless or invested. Two tall figures caught his eye. The two boys he saw were also looking around with serious eyes, Yeosang smirked. Perfect. One of them was Jung Yunho, a smart accounting and finance student. Yeosang had shared a few classes with him last year and the tall boy always got perfect scores, he was also loved by teachers. Yunho was accompanied by two other friends, one of them as tall as him sporting a confused look. Yeosang recognized the smaller boy as the guy he pointed out to Wooyoung at the start of class. Although he had red highlights, which would have been a sign of ‘delinquency’ according to Yeosang’s mother, he trusted that Jung Yunho wouldn’t just pair with anyone.

“Wooyoung, I got this”, he gestured his best friend to come along as he walked towards the small group.

“Kang Yeosang?” Yunho spoke first. “You take this class too?”
“So you know my name, I’m surprised” Yeosang raised an eyebrow.
“I mean… The professor mentioned you a few times last semester. In our management class.” He explained himself.
“Right. This is my friend Wooyoung, he’s a hard-working guy.” Wooyoung waved and smiled at the group. Yeosang continued “Let’s team up?”

With a smile, Yunho shook his hand, both of them seeming relieved that they had grouped with someone they knew was good.

The five of them left to get coffee, deciding to get to know each other better. Yunho and Yeosang introduced themselves first before leaving room for their groupmates.

“Hi I’m Wooyoung, also a sophomore. I major in performing arts and business management. How about you guys?”
“I’m Mingi! Nice to meet you Wooyoung and Yeosang! I’m in accounting and finance, just like these guys”, he gestured at Yunho and the red highlighted hair boy on each of his sides.
“My name is San, happy to meet you both” San gave a small wave then looked back down and blushed. Yunho laughed at the scene “Hey San it’s not like you to be shy in front of new friends?”
San laughed back awkwardly and explained he’d heard this class was one of the most difficult ones. The mood fell slightly silent, all agreeing they had heard the same things.

“Let’s promise to work hard then!” Yunho said, trying to lift his team’s spirits up. Wooyoung was impressed by Yunho. He was tall, good looking, dressed perfectly and also one of the smartest guys (according to Yeosang)? Not only that but he seemed to be a natural mood maker and especially a leader. Wooyoung felt slightly intimidated but he was glad to be part of his team, as he was very nervous about this class.

A while later, they exchanged numbers to create a group chat and separated. Wooyoung and Yeosang had to move into the dorms and find out who would be their roommate for this year. Wooyoung also hoped he would get one of the larger rooms, the pick was also random so hopefully he’d get lucky!

“So… Kang Yeosang and Jung Wooyoung?” Hongjoong, a senior from their dorm wrote down their names, looking through his computer. “Let me see the results for the random draw, just a minute.”
“Can’t we just room together? Please?” Wooyoung asked just in case. Now that it had come to this, he was a bit nervous to share a room with a stranger. He had gotten so used to Yeosang and didn’t want things to be uncomfortable. Hongjoong looked up to him, a stern look on his face. “You’re like, the 45th person that’s asked me that today. We are sticking with the draw.” He looked back down to the computer “Ah! Your picks are out.”

Wooyoung and Yeosang looked at each other, they silently prayed that both of them would get a nice roommate.

“Wooyoung, you’re rooming with a certain Choi San. He’s new to our dorm this year, good luck!” Wooyoung opened his mouth, surprised by the name. Could this just be a coincidence? There weren’t many people called San. Was his future roommate the boy from his econ group? He was about to ask Yeosang what he thought, when the latter saw the name of his roommate.

“Oh my god, nonononono this must be some kind of mistake! Hongjoong please, please, I beg you let me room with someone else! Anyone, I’d do anything!” Yeosang suddenly started begging Hongjoong, panic written all across his face. Wooyoung moved towards the computer screen to see who Yeosang had been paired with. “Choi Jongho”, he read out.

Yeosang let out a desperate scream, grabbing Hongjoong’s hands and proceeding to beg again. Wooyoung couldn’t help his evil laugh from coming out. This was the greatest event of the semester so far and it was only the first day. He choked, tears prickling at his eyes from laughing too hard. On the other hand, Yeosang’s eyes were getting teary but for a different reason.
“Hongjoong please…”
“Yeosang I’m sorry but if you don’t have a proper reason I can’t help you”
“He’s my ex ok! HE IS MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND I WILL NOT ROOM WITH HIM” Yeosang shouted desperately.
“Oh…” Hongjoong fell silent, looking to the side where someone else had appeared in the room “Hey Jongho”.

Yeosang’s face changed to a horrified expression, slowly turning towards the boy that had just appeared by the door. He wondered if he’d heard anything (which he knew he had). Jongho was looking at him, unimpressed. Yeosang hadn’t seen him in a while. Jongho had been working out a lot and got a little taller. Although his body looked mature, he still had the baby face he was known for.

Jongho turned his attention to Wooyoung, who had laughed even harder when he’d seen him by the door. He was now holding his stomach on the floor, seemingly about to pass out from too much laughing. The three boys present all briefly thought that ‘ah, so it is possible to actually die from laughter’. Yeosang mentally added that he wished Wooyoung would in fact die from laughter because this right there, was not best friend behavior.
Annoyed, he grabbed his bag and started to walk towards the hell that was waiting for him, his room.

 

San pulled his heavy suitcase into his new dorm, directly heading for his room. As the lift was broken, he dragged his things up the stairs until the 4th floor. His room number was 420 and he really hoped that was just a coincidence. San enjoyed smoking up during parties but would never do it in his room, hopefully his roommate wasn’t some heavy weed addict.

Panting from his walk up the stairs, he knocked on the door before letting himself in. His roommate was unpacking his stuff and had his back turned to San, seemingly not having noticed him. San heard music play from his earphones, he could make out a BTS song that the boy was humming. San thought his voice sounded very pretty.
Not wanting to scare his roommate, he stayed near the door and knocked on it again, louder this time.

“Hello!” San said loudly, the other boy finally turned around “Oh? Wooyoung…?” San couldn’t believe it. The cute guy from his economics group was his roommate?
“Oh San hi~” Wooyoung smiled shyly, causing San’s heartbeat to speed up. “Looks like we are roommates as well, I hope we get along!” he continued.
“Yes I’m… really glad it’s you I was scared to be paired with someone… you know” he gestured at the room number. Wooyoung stared at him in confusion, his eyes looked so innocent. “Well… 420 you know” San laughed awkwardly but his roommate was still confused.
“What about 420?”
“You don’t know what it means?” Wooyooung shook his head from side to side, eyes still fixated on San’s.
“420 is usually the weed room, like where people smoke up this plant that’s-“
“I know what weed is San” Wooyoung cut into his words “and thank you for explaining I really had no clues! But you don’t have to worry I’m not a smoker, I hate smoke.”
“Oh, Okay then.”

They both fell silent and San allowed himself to take a good look at their room. It was pretty large, there was even a small living room area next to the front door. It had a table and a small kitchen. They each had their own beds and desks located further into the room next to the window. Another door separated them from the bathroom. Overall, San had to admit he was really impressed with the room. He’d stayed in a way smaller dorm over the past year, it was always messy and rank of alcohol. This room was fresh, let the sunlight in abundantly and looked recently renovated.
“We got one of the best rooms!” Wooyoung exclaimed, noticing San’s eyes wandering around. “We are very lucky” he smiled again, taking San’s breath away.

Ever since he’d seen him in their economics class, San couldn’t get Wooyoung out of his head. The boy was just messing with his brain. San wasn’t gay or anything but the way Wooyoung looked and acted made him go crazy. He was like an angel who had fallen from the sky, San could almost see a halo around his head. When Wooyoung smiled, his eyes turned into beautiful crescents which reminded San of two moons. He was pretty sure Wooyoung held the whole sky into his eyes. He’d never seen someone as beautiful, boy or girl. And that was without mentioning his body because holy shit Wooyoung was in front of him taking his shirt off and San couldn’t help but stare.
“I’m gonna take a quick shower, it was so hot unpacking” his roommate explained, seeing how San was looking at him.
“Uh-Uh yeah, very hot” is all that he could reply. San cursed his stupid mouth, he tried to act normal and unpack. However, his eyes were drawn to Wooyoung’s form. The shorter boy now had his back to him and that back was just beautiful.

His skin was incredibly smooth looking, he was a little tanned. His jeans were tight, hugging his thighs in such a sinful manner. Looking this good should be illegal, San thought. Why was he acting like this? He decided it was probably just admiration. As a man, he could appreciate another man’s body and compliment it. Just like those guys he’d seen at the gym, all checking each other’s muscles out and judging. Wooyoung was a beautiful person that all genders could appreciate, no matter their sexuality. That made enough sense to San to stop him from feeling so uncomfortable.

Once Wooyoung got back, he’d already unpacked his stuff and was ready to become friends and have a wonderful year as roommates.
“There’s a party tonight, you should come along! Mingi and Yunho are also going”, he suggested.
“Oh I’ll have to ask Yeosang though”
“Will you not come if he doesn’t?” San asked, genuinely curious.
“Well he’s my best friend, we basically do everything together. Also, I don’t really know anyone… I don’t want it to be awkward, you know?’

San smiled and got up, walking to Wooyoung’s side of the room. “I’m sure you’ll be fine, what if I promise to stay by your side the whole time?”
Wooyoung smiled, appreciating how nice San was acting towards him. He’d mistaken him for a shy and antisocial guy during their first encounter. In truth, San seemed a lot more sociable than him. He thanked him and agreed to come if he wasn’t going to be alone. They smiled and exchanged a high five, smiling at each other.
“You know what, we should have a handshake! Our own thing!” San exclaimed, keeping his hold on Wooyoung’s hand. “Okay!” the latter laughed, happy that they were getting along so well.
The two of them then sat on the bed and started practicing for a fabulous handshake.

 

Meanwhile, Yeosang was feeling more awkward than ever while unpacking. He dreaded the moment Jongho would come into the room and they would have to be together again. Letting out a sight, he recalled their break-up in the middle of last year.

They’d only dated for two months before Yeosang caught Jongho repeatedly checking out another guy. Apparently, he barely talked about his boyfriend to his friends but never shut up about that other guy who was his tutor. In the end, Yeosang got annoyed and decided to start avoiding Jongho, never really breaking up with him properly. Every time they met at parties, Jongho would go to him and ask for closure, for an explanation. At that time, Yeosang was too embarrassed to give the real reason why he wanted a break up. Eventually, they had fallen apart and barely saw each other anymore. Obviously, that was now about to change.

The door opened, revealing his ex-boyfriend. Yeosang tried to ignore him, deciding that maybe, he could continue avoiding him. As he thought that, he let out a long sight, it was going to be a bothersome year.

“Hey Yeosang” Jongho called him but he didn’t reply. “This might be late but… I’m sorry if I did anything to make you upset. I should have known you didn’t start avoiding me out of nowhere.” He paused for a while, seeing that Yeosang had stopped his movements and was listening to him. “I don’t want to pressure you or anything, but I hope we can leave this behind us and become friends like we used to be. You’re a really good guy and I always enjoyed spending time with you. We are just not meant to be a couple, that’s it. Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry for my behavior over the past half year and I hope we can move on from these bad feelings.”

Yeosang finally faced him. Hearing these words made a weight he didn’t know he had come off his shoulders, he felt incredibly light. “Thank you Jongho, I really appreciate it.” He hesitated before adding “I’m sorry too, I should have given you closure. Let’s leave all this in the past.” He gave a shy smile, feeling that he was opening up to Jongho. The two of them smiled at each other and exchanged a small hug.

While they unpacked, they chatted about their uni life and caught up with each other. Yeosang was feeling much better, finally he started believing that this year would not be so bad after all.

 

The party was already in full heat when Wooyoung and San arrived. It was located at one of the freshmen’s houses in one of the rich parts of town. As expected, Wooyoung didn’t see anyone there that he could recognize. He was aware parties weren’t really his circle anyway, however he hoped to get closer to San, Yunho and Mingi. It was always nice to make new friends.

San seemed to become increasingly comfortable around him, they’d spend the afternoon together in their room chatting about things. They made fun of their economics teacher and laughed a lot. Wooyoung had a great time, he hoped tonight would be a good night as well. Unfortunately, Yeosang didn’t want to join him. It seemed that he was still annoyed at Wooyoung but, he appeared to be in a better mood. It looked like he and Jongho had finally talked things out, which was long overdue.

Wooyoung’s thoughts came back to the present as San grabbed his arm to drag him towards the kitchen. When Wooyoung was about to reach out for a beer, San stopped his hand and offered him a bottle of Soju instead. Wooyoung raised an eyebrow “So, getting drunk is the plan?”
San scoffed “What else? We’re at a party Wooyoungie”, he placed his bottle on the table and moved behind the other boy to massage his shoulders “Loosen up! What got you so tense?”

The slightly shorter boy laughed a little, feeling more relaxed under the touch “Okay okay, I’ll drink up! But you gotta promise to take responsibility, ok?” He turned his head and winked at San. He swore the latter had been checking him out ever since earlier in their room. Wooyoung was used to it.

In university, he’d been extremely popular with both boys and girls, getting asked out on many occasions. Although he’d been on a few dates, no one really caught his attention which resulted in him staying single. On the other hand, he wasn’t lonely. He had a phase last year where he slept around a lot. He would just go out, meet one, sometimes even two guys and go home with them. It wasn’t always at home, Wooyoung liked to do it in the car, the bathroom, other people’s rooms, anywhere was good. The past year, he had mostly been sleeping with men as he found out he enjoyed getting fucked more than the other way around with his ex-girlfriend.

During his last year of high school, he had dated a girl named Mia. She was pretty, smart and confident, it turned him on a lot. They experimented a lot with each other so, one time, he had asked her if she would finger him while she was sucking him off. It had felt so good that the next time, he bought her a strap on and asked her to fuck him with it. It was his first experience at anal sex, although it wasn’t exactly a real cock. That time, Wooyoung came untouched for the first time. He then became obsessed with filling himself up, buying all sorts of dildos. Mia had noticed and they had a serious talk. They weren’t what each other looked for sexually, and for teenagers, that was important.

After that experience, Wooyoung had slept with several guys during his first year. Although, he had never dated, he enjoyed being a bottom way too much. Over the summer, he’d been having threesomes, keeping it a secret from even Yeosang. Wooyoung was a little ashamed, often wondering if he was normal or if his sex drive was just too high.

“What are you thinking about?” San asked, taking a seat next to him.
“Oh, nothing sorry” he laughed it out, cheeks getting red but that could have been from the alcohol. He could feel himself become more relaxed, leaning into San who was by his side. “Where are Yunho and Mingi?”
“I swear they must be here somewhere, maybe on the dance floor?”
By dance floor, he meant the large living room that had been transformed into a club like dancing area. Wooyoung nodded, still looking ahead towards the dancing crowd “Should we go dance too?”

San brought his bottle next to his and clinked it, making a cheers sound. “Bottoms up then we go?” he challenged. Wooyoung obliged, they counted down from 3 before finishing their bottles. The Soju was so bitter and strong, it made Wooyoung feel sick for a few seconds. When the nausea left, he was left feeling more drunk than he’d been in a while. “Oh, I think I’m drunk”, he giggled and leaned into San again, pressing his face against his neck.
“No shit” San laughed back, secretly noting that Wooyoung got touchy with alcohol. It made him feel strange, he briefly wondered whether Wooyoung did this with just anyone. He felt a tingle of jealousy pass through him, he really hoped it wasn’t the case.
“Let’s go dance Sannie” he heard his voice, muffled against his neck. San could feel his lips moving on his skin when he spoke, Wooyoung was too irresistible for his own good. Nevertheless, he agreed and got up, helping the other boy up as well. The latter was giggling and clinging onto San who had to wrap an arm around his waist in order to keep him standing properly.

As they walked towards the dance area, the music got louder and a BTS song started playing. San remembered the song as the one Wooyoung had been listening to when he had first gone to their room. The latter’s face lit up, hearing the song “Omg I love this song!”. All excited, he started dancing next to San and holy shit San should have remembered Wooyoung majored in performing arts with a focus on dance because, nothing could have prepared him for this. Although he was drunk, Wooyoung danced with confidence and hit all the right moves. His body was flexible, hips snapping easily while a big smile was spread across his face. He was in his own world.

San was staring, mouth agape. He barely noticed that his friends had come up to him and were trying to talk to him, there was only one thing in focus in his mind, Wooyoung. It must have been the alcohol that let him be so bold, but he stepped closer and grabbed his roommate’s waist before pulling him close to him. Wooyoung giggled again, seemingly unimpressed “What is it Sannie?”, he made a pouty face that left San’s heart miss a few beats. The latter was forced to come back to his senses when Yunho and Mingi started chatting with Wooyoung.

San was trying to listen but his eyes would not leave the other boy’s face. He looked so pure, so innocent, so perfect, so-

“Earth to San! Can you hear us??”

He blinked, finally managing to move his head towards his friends “Hi-Hey guys, what’s up?”, he tried to be casual and ignore the trance he’d been stuck in for the past few minutes.
“You don’t look that drunk, why are you so out of it?” Yunho asked, looking red himself. “Did you guys smoke up?” Mingi came into the conversation, knowing smile on his lips.
“Mingiii~” Wooyoung squirted into San’s arm and playfully hit Mingi’s chest “We live in 420 but that doesn’t mean we smoke right Sannieeee~?”. While saying those last words, Wooyoung had moved even closer to him to give him a hug but San could tell he was relying on him to keep him standing up. He made a mental note that Wooyoung was a lightweight, but no surprises there.
“You guys actually live in 420?!” Mingi exclaimed, apparently finding this info hilarious. San could tell both of his friends were just as hammered as him. Unfortunately, he couldn’t focus on the rest of the conversation.

Wooyoung’s body was pressed next to his, arms around his shoulders as he used San for support. The latter could feel his hot breath on his neck whenever Wooyoung said something, every giggle from the boy caused his body to move against his, making San panic. His hand was around Wooyoung’s waist, holding him near the hem of his black tee-shirt. If he moved his fingers just a little, he would be able to feel the warm and smooth skin he couldn’t stop thinking about since seeing him shirtless. Swallowing his saliva, he slowly treaded below the shirt, hoping Wooyoung would be too drunk to notice. Unfortunately, once the tip of his fingers finally touched the soft skin, Wooyoung moved away whining that his fingers were too cold.
San was embarrassed, to say the least. He excused himself to the bathroom, a private meeting with his brain was overdue.

Not looking back, he left Wooyoung with his friends and walked towards the toilets. Thankfully, there was no line and he was able to go in directly. As soon as he locked the door, his hand reached for his crotch, he was so hard. It finally dawned to him that Wooyoung had caused this effect on him, a boy, a guy had done this to San. He thought he was going crazy but he couldn’t stop himself.

Frustrated, he pulled his pants down and started to stroke his cock. He closed his eyes tightly and thought back to just a few moments ago, how Wooyoung had danced in front of him and how he’d pressed his body so close to his, letting San feel his every curve. He thought of the black tee-shirt and tight ripped jeans that showed off his thick ass. San imagined how it would feel to have it rub against his crotch while dancing. His hand was moving faster, wet with his own pre-cum. San’s imagination was going wild, thinking about Wooyoung pressed against that door. What kind of moans would he make? Would he moan San’s name out just like San was moaning his right now?

His release came fast and unexpected. As his cum lathered on to the floor, San finally took a proper breath and gathered his thoughts.
His body was betraying him, was thinking of Wooyoung as a girl or something. Obviously, San was as straight as he’s always been and he was going to prove that tonight.

He felt disgusted by himself as he left the room. As anger was rising to his head, he stopped by the kitchen to drink a few gulps of vodka and moved to the dancefloor, determined to find himself a hot girl and forget all about his roommate.

He looked around a few times until his eyes set on someone familiar. Soojin was a femme fatale, one of the most popular girls around campus. She oozed with confidence and sexiness. She and San slept together once during Freshers’ week. Although it was a year ago, they had been together and they could make it happen again. San decided he would get into her pants tonight, have a great night and forget all about his ‘homo’ moment.

Chapter Text

When Yunho and Mingi excused themselves, Wooyoung found that he was suddenly left alone. He could vaguely remember San saying he was going to the bathroom then never coming back. Wooyoung was too drunk to see and walk properly, he started feeling helpless on his own. San promised him he would take responsibility and stay with him, where was he now?

Wooyoung hadn’t drank in a long time and he wasn’t feeling good, he turned around, trying to make out a spot where he could sit down for a while when he felt a hand around his waist. He didn’t recognize the man who started touching him, he wanted to be with someone he could trust right now, not some stranger he could barely see.

“Where are you going, pretty boy?” the stranger asked in a low voice, tightening his grip around his waist. Wooyoung felt his hand slip under his shirt, touching and rubbing his skin directly. He attempted to move away, only to be pulled back towards the stranger again. “What’s your name honey?” the man grabbed his chin and raised it up so that he was looking to his face. “L-let me go” Wooyoung begged weakly, not in control of his body.

He was feeling sick, all he wanted to do was go back to his room and be with Yeosang. Getting taken advantage of by strangers was something that happened to him previously. Once, he’d been sexually abused after someone spiked his drink. Although he could barely remember the actual act, he could recall the feeling left in his body afterwards, the anger and the helplessness he’d felt.

The man’s hand on his naked waist was reminding him of that night. Wooyoung tried to push the man away but he wasn’t strong enough, the stranger grabbed his ass with his other hand and started squeezing it. His hold on Wooyoung was strong and firm, not allowing him to go away. Wooyoung wanted to shout for help, wanted to run away but he was frozen in place. Memories from that night where his drink had been spiked were resurfacing.

 

It had happened around 4 months ago. He had dragged Yeosang to a house party, promising him it would be fun and using the excuse it was one of the last parties of the year. In fact, it was the last party he had been to until tonight. The first few hours went great, they were having a lot of fun and the mood was great. Yeosang was dancing with some friends when Wooyoung decided to grab himself another drink.

Some guys in the kitchen opened a bottle for him. They acted a bit strangely, asking Wooyoung to drink the beer right away. The latter had no suspicions, he was already drunk and just wanted to go back to dancing as soon as possible anyway. However, when he finished the drink, his vision got blurry and he lost control of his body, falling down on the ground. The next moments happened in a blur, Wooyoung was in and out of consciousness, not aware of what was being done to him. He remembers getting carried up the stairs into a dark room, he remembers feeling cold when his clothes got yanked off his body. He remembers feeling pain but being unable to shout for help. While he was barely aware, he had gotten abused and raped by a small group of men.

The drugs had stolen his body away, not even letting him cry. It was the worst feeling Wooyoung ever experienced. He was found a while later, too late, by a panicked Yeosang. Although Wooyoung had been able to hear his cries, he himself had been stuck in this passive state for a few more hours. Over the next week, he let Yeosang take care of him. His best friend had cried a lot back then, while Wooyoung just wanted to forget about it. Every night, anxiety came to him. He developed a huge fear of not being in control of himself. For a month, he cut himself in the bathroom every night while crying in silence. He hated his body so much for having let him down during that terrible night.

Since then, things had gotten better and he was able to deal with his anxiety. One aspect of his life that stayed hugely affected by the experience was his sex life. Wooyoung was a control freak in bed, he couldn’t bear certain submissive positions, he needed to be on top. His sexual escapades had doubled, if not tripled after the accident. Wooyoung had a constant need to prove himself he was in control, and what better way to do so than sex.

 

He was brought back to the present by the stranger slipping his hand inside his jeans. Wooyoung was still unable to move, his anxiety was coming back to him all too fast. He started shaking, tears already falling down his face. It was happening again, he had no control over his body. As the man unbuttoned his jeans and moved his hand along Wooyoung’s ass, the latter started heaving, unable to find his breath. It briefly dawned to him that he was having a panic attack.

However, the man wasn’t stopping. He misunderstood the lack of fighting back as an invitation to continue. The music was loud around them and there were few people, only couples making out near them. The man dragged Wooyoung to a darker corner of the room and pressed him against the wall, he grabbed the boy’s thighs and held them up around his waist before starting to hump him.

Wooyoung was still frozen, mouth silent and eyes closed and crying. He still couldn’t catch his breath, it felt as if he was going to pass out. He wanted to call San’s name, where was he when he said he’d stay by his side all night?

He screamed for help inside his head, he prayed hard for someone to get him out of there. He hated this body so much, so so much. He thought he gained back control over it these past few months. He had made so much progress but it was all for nothing, he couldn’t trust himself! He bit his lip hard, making himself bleed. He was trying so hard to say something, to open his mouth and just shout but it just wasn’t working-

“Get off him!!”

Suddenly, the stranger was yanked off Wooyoung. He fell on the ground and the panic attack took over his body. He couldn’t breathe, heart beating too fast and fear filling his head. He lay on the ground shaking and heaving, eyes still closed.

“Wooyoung, Wooyoung it’s me Yeosang! He’s gone now, everything is going to be okay Wooyoung, calm down and take deep breaths!”

A familiar hand grabbed his. Wooyoung opened his eyes and saw Yeosang by his sides, he had sat next to him and was rubbing his head. Yeosang spoke to Wooyoung calmly, helping him find his breathing back. While he slowly calmed down, the boy turned his eyes to find Jongho beating up the stranger. The sight made him feel better, he was safe now, he realized. He pulled himself up a little and hugged his best friend, letting himself cry against his chest.

“I was so scared” he sobbed, “I was so scared it would be like that time”
“I’m here now Wooyoungie, I’ll protect you.”
“I know I shouldn’t have come without you but-but- San said he’d stick to me all night and I thought I was fine…”, he admitted sadly.
Yeosang raised an eyebrow “San left you alone after he promised not to?”
“He suddenly ran off and never came back… I couldn’t find him I was too drunk Yeosang…”
“It’s okay Wooyoungie, Jongho and I are with you now” he assured the crying boy, “I’ll deal with San myself later on…” he added, more to himself than to his friend.

Jongho came up to them, fists bloody “We should leave now, before they call someone.” Yeosang nodded, they got up and Jongho carried Wooyoung on his back while the other led the way out. Shaken and exhausted, Wooyoung fell asleep on the way back, trusting the two boys to take care of him.

Chapter Text

San’s plan had worked perfectly. He complimented himself as he quietly left Soojin’s dorm, trying not to get caught by the sleeping guard.

While the sex wasn’t as good as usual, it reassured San that he wasn’t gay. Now, he would probably stop having those confusing thoughts about his stupid roommate. He did feel a little bad for leaving him alone at the party, but Wooyoung was a grown man who could take care of himself. Plus, Yunho and Mingi probably stuck around with him anyway. He took his phone out and checked his notifications, seeing that there were quite a few messages directed to him.

01:50am
Yunho:
San where tf are u
Woo is looking for u

01:52am
Mingi:
We left already
Smth urgent came up ;)

3:21am
Yeosang (Micro-econ):
Where are you

The text from Yeosang was only from a few minutes ago. San a little caught off-guard, he only met the guy once, why would he text him like that in the middle of the night? He ignored everything and walked back to his place, deciding to reply his friends after he got ready for bed. It was quiet outside and a little chilly, San was tired from the night, he probably wouldn’t suggest to go out with Wooyoung again. He just hoped things wouldn’t be too awkward since he randomly left without any notice. He was aware he’d been rude but, an apology should cut it, right?

When he opened the door of his room, he felt a hand grab him by the collar and push him back into the corridor. “Wow easy there” he put his hands up, showing he didn’t want to fight “this is my room, why were you in there?”, he asked the unknown boy.

“Sorry for pushing you” the boy looked at him with an annoyed face “I’m Jongho.”
“Why were you in my room?” San asked again, raising an eyebrow at him.
Jongho didn’t reply. He quietly opened the room’s door and whispered for someone to come out. San was confused, what was going on and why wouldn’t this guy let him enter his own room?

When Yeosang came out, closing the door behind him, San thought back to the text he had gotten from him. “Hey Yeosang, I just saw your text actually. What’s going on here?” he asked lightly, eyeing Jongho from the side.
Yeosang was staring San down, unimpressed. “Where were you?”

“Why do you need to know? It’s not your business really” San was starting to get annoyed. He didn’t do anything yet he was getting treated so rudely by two guys he barely knew.

“Actually, it is my business. Where were you?”
“At the girls’ dorm, why?”

Yeosang chuckled coldly at his reply, exchanging knowing looks with Jongho.

“Ok can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on here and can I please get to my room?” San finally said, losing patience.

“You went to a party with Wooyoung, right?” Yeosang continued, but San still didn’t get the point. Did he need permission from this guy before doing anything with Wooyoung or what, why was he acting like his dad?

“Yes we went to a party, I believe Wooyoung let you know beforehand”, he said in an exasperated manner.
“Why did you leave him alone without saying anything?” Yeosang’s voice suddenly cracked, he seemed on the verge of tears for a moment but got a hold of himself. “Why did you leave him alone when you knew he was drunk and only knew you?”

“Because!” San explained, “he was with Yunho and Mingi and he’s a grown man you know like, he’s not my responsibility?” He remembered earlier, how he had promised Wooyoung he would be responsible for getting him drunk. But Yeosang wasn’t supposed to know that.

“There was no one around when we found him” Jongho finally interrupted. “Your friends weren’t there.”
San knew that because he’d seen the messages from Yunho and Mingi, telling him they were leaving early.

“I thought you weren’t coming to the party, did Wooyoung tell you to go find him?” San was confused, was this some kind of misunderstanding?
“Jongho was leaving the gym when he saw you outside with some girl!” Yeosang took over, “We knew you were supposed to be with Wooyoung.”
“Okay, I’m really sorry for leaving without telling him. I had… reasons.” He thought back to how much Wooyoung had turned him on and how he had jerked off to him in the bathroom. Brrr.

“You got him drunk and then left him alone!” Yeosang snapped, voice cracking one again before he broke into sobs. Jongho walked close to him and put his arm around him, slowly rubbing his back. “How could- how could you leave him alone like that when he-o”, he continued crying. “Shh Yeosang, he didn’t know…” Jongho said sadly.

“I’m confused, is Wooyoung ok?” San had no idea what was going on, but he guessed something must have happened to Wooyoung. Panic started building inside him “What didn’t I know?”, he needed them to just explain to him what happened.
Yeosang sobbed even harder, hugging Jongho tightly. The latter was about to speak when suddenly, the 420 door opened to reveal Wooyoung.

Wooyoung had been woken up by Yeosang’s cries coming from the corridor. Without hesitating, he rushed outside to find the three boys arguing. Guessing what it was about, he ignored San and went straight to hold Yeosang.

“Yeosangie don’t cry please, I’m fine now.”

“But you’re not fine!!” the other boy snapped at him “I saw you on the ground, you were having a panic attack! This whole time you haven’t been fine Wooyoung! This whole time you were pretending!” The latter stayed silent, he had nothing to argue back. His best friend was right, he couldn’t hide the panic attack. Tears well up in his own eyes before dropping down on his cheeks. The memory alone made him tremble.

“Wooyoung… I’m sorry for leaving, I shouldn’t have.” San spoke up, apologetic. “I said I’d stay with you but I didn’t, I messed up I’m sorry” he hung his head low. He wasn’t sure what had happened but he knew he had been a bad friend anyway and he deserved this.

He didn’t expect Wooyoung to walk to him and pull him into a hug. “It’s okay San. It was my fault, in the end I’m responsible for myself. It was my mistake to go, I don’t really do well with parties…”

San hugged him back tightly. He had been stupid and petty, he only thought of himself. Wooyoung didn’t deserve to be treated like that, he had trusted San and only agreed to come because he said he’d stay with him. San was really an asshole.

“Wooyoung, San, you should go back in your room. I’ll bring Yeosang back, it’s late.” Jongho said after checking the time, he decided all of them needed some rest. “Goodnight Wooyoung” Yeosang said, telling him to text him if anything. Wooyoung smiled and waved at the pair. At least, those two stopped avoiding each other and actually seemed to be quite fond of one another now.

“Let’s go back in”

He let go of San and let himself back in the room. It was extremely cozy inside, only bedside table lamps turned on. Wooyoung headed straight for his bed and laid down inside his duvets.

San could now clearly see how tired the boy looked. His eyes were swollen and red, as if he had been crying for a long time. He noticed his brows were furrowed, unable to relax his face even when lying down in his comfortable bed. Wooyoung reached for his phone and started playing a game, it seemed that he couldn’t find sleep yet, even though it was almost four in the morning.

Leaving him alone for a while, San took a shower, deciding to clean himself up. Tonight had been particularly weird and his thoughts were all around the place. Once he was naked, he was reminded of how disgusted by himself he felt back in the house party’s bathroom. But then again, he had felt the same disgust after he slept with Soojin.

He didn’t feel the same attraction towards her that he would feel when sleeping around, it had been so easy to get hard next to Wooyoung yet, he couldn’t do it even when Soojin tried blowing him. It was shameful but… the only way he did get hard in the end was by closing his eyes and thinking of Wooyoung again. Damn.

San was new to this, he’d never liked another guy like that before. He didn’t know how to feel or what to do about it but one thing was for sure. Wooyoung was going to be his roommate for one year, they had to be friends. San refused to make things awkward. He would be nice, normal and wouldn’t do anything stupid again. His weird crush would fade with time, when he’ll get used to being around the other boy every day.

Wooyoung looked up from his phone when San walked back in the room, he kept his eyes on him as the boy pulled an oversized white tee-shirt from his closet to wear for sleep. He noticed San was only wearing his boxers underneath, showing his thin but muscly legs.

Instead of going to his side of the room, San hesitated and turned to Wooyoung. He took a seat on his bed, surprising him a little.

“Wooyoung…” San spoke up, “I just wanted to say I really am sorry for leaving you on your own at the party. I don’t intend on forcing you to come with me nect time but I promise I… I won’t leave you again”, he spoke softly, head hung low.

Wooyoung was grateful for the apology even though he knew what happened wasn’t San’s fault. He placed his hand on top of San’s and gave him a soft smile “I’m fine San, but thank you.” He didn’t want to talk about the incident, it was already eating him up inside. “You should go to sleep now it’s late”, he squeezed the other’s hand.

San was looking at him with an expression Wooyoung couldn’t read, he seemed lost deep in his thoughts. Wooyoung let a sight out and pulled San down on the bed right next to him. He proceeded to cage him into a back hug and rest his head behind San’s shoulder. The latter made a surprised noise when he felt Wooyoung’s arms around his chest but quickly relaxed. His heart was beating so fast from the sudden proximity.

“Sannie~ It’s really fine I promise, so stop thinking about things and go to sleep ok?”
“Okay…” he replied, not moving from the embrace.

The two of them stayed in the same position for a few minutes until San broke the silence.

“Wooyoung, can I ask you something?”

Wooyoung hummed back, he was getting sleepy and holding San next to him like this made him feel so warm and comfortable. He felt protected, the exact same protection that Yeosang would usually give him.

“What happened to you to make Yeosang freak out like that?”

There it was, the question he’d been hoping San wouldn’t ask. He realized it was bound to happen though, San must have been confused to see them cry earlier.

“Mmh I’m sleepy… Can I just tell you another time?” he yawned, avoiding the question.
“Of course, I’ll leave you to sleep then!”

Wooyoung pouted, a little upset the other boy was going to leave his embrace. He wanted to fall asleep like this, next to his friend.

He had always been a clingy person and loved affection from people, especially from his friends. Yeosang and him had shared the same bed often when they roomed together, it helped Wooyoung a lot, especially since the incident from a few months ago. Tonight was his first night in the dorm and he really hoped he was going to be okay.

San got up and walked to his own bed where he laid down and turned off the lights. Wooyoung could tell the other boy was tired, he decided he should probably try to fall asleep as well. They wished each other a goodnight before Wooyoung turned off his own bedside table lamp.

 

About an hour later, Wooyoung woke up all sweaty.

Chapter Text

About an hour later, Wooyoung woke up all sweaty. It felt like someone had been holding him down and strangling him in his dream. His anxiety was back, he couldn’t help it. The memories of the earlier incident were too vivid this time. He hadn’t been drunk enough to forget about the details, his body and mind remembered everything too well.

With an uneven breath, he got up and walked to the bathroom, his feet taking him there on their own. He stopped in front of his toiletry bag next to the mirror. Slowly, he looked up to see his own reflection. He wasn’t shocked, he had been like this before.

In front of him was the other version of himself. The version usually only came out at night, whenever his anxiety hit. Today, it had come out in the middle of a party when he had a panic attack. Wooyoung had never wanted anyone to see this part of him.

His face was wet from tears that kept rolling down his cheeks, although he wasn’t sobbing, he couldn’t help the tears from coming out. His mouth was swollen and a little bloody, a result of his teeth helplessly digging into it. As for his eyes, they were empty. All the emotions Wooyoung was feeling were there, in a corner. Pain, shame, sadness, disgust, hate, fear…

These were the feelings that founded the emptiness inside his pupils. Wooyoung hated it. He wanted to take it away, rip it apart from his eyes and let him go back in the past, where his eyes were bright and lively. He gripped the sink hard, trying to hold on to something in order to control himself. He tried taking deep breaths but, the anxiety only soared higher inside his head, making it turn, making him feel like throwing up.

He wanted to control it. He wanted to be in control of his body. Wooyoung wanted to calm down so badly, he didn’t think further than that when he reached for his toiletry bag. Emptying all its contents on the floor, he finally found what he was looking for. He grabbed the small but sharp blade with two fingers.

Wooyoung brought it to his arm, letting it hover above his wrist. His hands were shaking so bad, he had trouble breathing due to his incessant tears. Still, he didn’t think. He found a very faint line on his wrist, it was an old scar from his previous cutting attempts a few months ago. He placed his shaking blade on the line and dug deep into his skin, dragging it down vertically on his arm. The cut was already a few centimetres long but he couldn’t stop digging.

Wooyoung felt no physical pain yet, he winced. His tears were getting in the way of looking at his arm. They dropped on the cut, saltiness mixing in with his blood. His body shook even harder, making it impossible to move his hand further down or away. Wooyoung couldn’t breathe properly, for once, cutting didn’t make him feel calmer.

He hadn’t realised how much blood was on the floor until he tried moving around, trying to find any pill or medication he could have. He was practically bathing in his own blood, only coming from his arm. Wooyoung briefly wondered if he’d cut too deep, he didn’t really care.

Still breathless, his arms reached for the sink, trying to pull himself up. Unfortunately, his hands slipped on the surface because they were too bloody. Wooyoung fell back on the hard floor with a loud thud.

He couldn’t comprehend the situation he was in, too focused on breathing, why couldn’t he catch his breath? It felt as if he was going to die at this rate. He opened his mouth, tasting blood and tears on his tongue as he called for help. His voice was failing him, as usual, but he kept trying, feeling more and more lightheaded.

Suddenly the door sprung open.

San was horrified when he saw the scene unveiling in front of him. His Wooyoung was lying on bloody ground, the boy was shaking and crying, his eyes were closed in pain, mouth open taking quick breaths.

San rushed down to his side, “Wooyoung! Wooyoung! It’s me, Sannie!” He grabbed Wooyoung’s head, helping him up so he could be in a better position, “Hey hey, it’s okay Wooyoungie, you can calm down I promise. Everything is okay now”, he said while caressing his hair.

Wooyoung seemed to relax in his embrace, his breathing was evening out. He looked up at San and reached for his tee-shirt, pulling him closer to him. San understood what he was doing and softly hugged him, his hand never leaving his hair. He whispered calming and sweet words, assuring Wooyoung that everything was going to be fine. Although he didn’t know much of what was going on, he wanted to take care of Wooyoung. It hurt him to see the other boy crying, obviously going through a panic attack. He briefly remembered Yeosang mentioning it earlier.

“Ugh… San…?” a small voice called for him.
“It’s me Wooyoungie, I’m right here” he answered as he hugged the boy tighter.
Wooyoung started sobbing in his shoulder, “it hurts, it hurts so bad.”
“What hurts, sweetie?”
“A-Arm” Wooyoung grunted. San saw his face scrunch up as he pulled away from the hug.

That’s when he saw the amount of blood on them. He paled, his brain was slowing down and started panicking when he looked down at Wooyoung’s arm.

The blade was still lodged into the deep-looking cut, poking out from the corner and covered in red. Blood was heavily leaking from the wound, San was pretty sure one could pass out from losing that much blood already. He was scared but he knew that he had to take care of Wooyoung, he was the only person who could help right now and he couldn’t leave him alone.

Wooyoung lay against the wall, arm down and limp by his side as he sobbed loudly. San felt overwhelmed, his heart pace quickening greatly. Yet, he took a hold of himself. San got up fast and grabbed the first-aid kit from a different cabinet. None of the bandages were large enough to cover Wooyoung’s cut, which was around 5 to 6 centimetres, but he would make it work.

Working quickly, he poured the sterilising liquid over the wound, earning a pained moan from the other boy. San stayed focused on cleaning up his arm, making sure that Wooyoung wasn’t moving around too much. At least, the panic attack seemed to have subsided now that he was in pain. When he was done cleaning the wound, he saw it was still bleeding a lot. San grabbed a bandage roll, knowing he would probably need to use the whole roll. It was no problem, he stayed calm and tended to Wooyoung carefully. He was surprising himself by acting so calm and efficient.

Soon enough, the dressing was done. Wooyoung’s arm was heavily bandaged to make sure blood wouldn’t sip out.
“I’ll buy more bandages for you tomorrow morning, I will help you change them as well.” San said calmly while cleaning up the area. He wanted to erase, eradicate any sight of blood in here. He had to be strong, it was obvious the boy next to him was not feeling so well.

Wooyoung’s eyes followed San’s movements around the bathroom. Curiously, his negative emotions that were so intense just a while ago had completely disappeared the moment San took care of him. This had never happened to him before.

He was weak, not in control of himself, San could have taken advantage of him but he didn’t. Instead, he had treated him so delicately and acted so strong even though he had no reasons to.

Wooyoung was seeing him in a new light.

While he sat there staring, mouth slightly agape, San spoke up.

“You’re okay now Wooyoungie?” he said with a small smile, although his eyes gave away his worry.
“I-I think I am” Wooyoung replied slowly, before adding “Thank you… and I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry Young-ah, I know it’s not your fault.”

Wooyoung tried to argue back but he was too weak to make proper sentences. Instead, he sighted and looked down at the now clean floor. He had no thoughts inside his head, he felt so drained he could barely move.

San kneeled down next to him again, his hand finding its way back in Wooyoung’s soft hair. He took in the state of the boy, he was sweaty and bloody. A shower was definitely needed, although he could guess Wooyoung didn’t have any strength to do anything other than lying down.

“Wooyoungie, do you mind staining your bedsheets?” he asked. Wooyoung looked up to him with big round eyes, as if to question him. “Or do you want me to help you clean up?” San continued, trying to explain, “I thought you might not like dirtying your bedsheets on the first night, you have so many after all.”

“Oh” Wooyoung’s lips moved to form a small round shape, “I-uhm…” his cheeks turned red as he admitted “I don’t want to… sleep in my bed tonight.”
“You want to swap beds?” San asked.
“No, uh… I don’t want to be alone…” Wooyoung tried to make the other understand, not sure if he was okay with it. “I’d ask Yeosang but I don’t want him to see…” he looked down and pointed at the large bandage on his arm. His voice was trembling again. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle being left alone at the moment.

“Oh Wooyoungie” San called, softly grabbing his hand and bringing his chin up so they were looking at each other. “You don’t have to worry, I won’t leave your side okay?”
“I-I’d like that…” Wooyoung teared up a little “Thank you San.”
“Come on” San helped him up slowly, “let’s get you cleaned up!”

Wooyoung let himself be carried up, San was stronger than he looked. He moved Wooyoung to sit inside the empty bathtub before focusing on getting the right water temperature from the shower head. On the other side, Wooyoung slowly got rid of his blood-stained pyjamas. Once he was naked, he crossed his legs in front of his chest, it felt cold.

“Water’s finally hot, here you go” San handed the shower head to Wooyoung before turning around to go into the room. “Just take a quick shower and don’t wet your arm, I’ll get you some clean clothes.”
“Okay, thank you.”

With difficulty, Wooyoung managed to apply some shampoo into his hair and body wash on himself. By the time he rinsed it all off, San had walked back in with some clothes in hand.
“Hey, I didn’t know where yours were so I just got you some of my clothes. Is that fine?”

“Of course,” Wooyoung nodded, feeling incredibly grateful. There was a warm feeling growing inside his chest. He noticed the underwear was San’s as well, it felt somehow intimate to wear his. He winced when putting the clothes on, his wrist felt extremely painful from the cut. Nevertheless, he managed to get dressed into an oversized tee-shirt and comfortable sweatpants.

San was trying really hard not to notice how cute Wooyoung looked wearing his oversized clothes. There was something about the other boy that was just incredibly mesmerizing. No matter how tired he looked, San thought he was still the best looking guy in university… maybe in the whole World.

Sadly, his worries took over his admiration for the boy. San knew they’d only met yesterday, although they had gotten to become close friends so fast. He wondered if the cutting happened a lot, he wondered what pushed Wooyoung to do it. He wanted to know what had happened to let him get two panic attacks in one night, although Wooyoung didn’t seem ready to talk about it.

San genuinely wanted to help him, he wanted to be by his side any way he could. He already hated the World for making his roommate feel like this. Wooyoung who was so pure and innocent, he only deserved good things, and San wanted to give it to him.

“Hmph!”

He turned towards the sound, noticing Wooyoung was obviously in pain from his cut. He wasn’t surprised, it was deep and quite a lot of blood had spilled out. If it had been any more, San would have been tempted to call the emergency number.

He shivered thinking about it. Briefly, the image of Wooyoung lying lifeless on the ground with slit up wrists passed through his head. It made him so scared. Suddenly, he understood why Yeosang acted so protective of the boy. San would probably become like this too, starting from tomorrow.

He shook his head to try and erase the images of Wooyoung being sent to the hospital in an ambulance. Just thinking about it brought tears to his eyes. He’d only just met the guy, but he meant so much to him already.

Without thinking, San walked towards Wooyoung who was still trying to put a shirt on and pulled him into a tight embrace. He held the shorter’s head in the crook of this neck and use his other arm to circle around his waist, efficiently trapping him against his body. Wooyoung let a surprised but muffled sound at the sudden hug. San was holding him so tightly, not saying anything. Wooyoung relaxed into the embrace, always welcoming of affectionate touches.

“You’ll be ok, right?” a small voice whispered into his hair.
Wooyoung hummed “I have Yeosang, he helps.”
“You have me too, now.”

Wooyoung just smiled and hugged San back tighter, his pain forgotten for a moment.

They fell asleep like this, cuddled up against each other. It was the most peaceful sleep Wooyoung had in months.

Chapter Text

“G-God Wooyoung, you ride me so fucking well”

Wooyoung moaned, panting as he fucked himself up and down Taehyung’s cock. The older man was lying down in the practice room, hands gripping his hips as Wooyoung earnestly rode him. His pace became faster as he chased his release. Soon, he got tired and fell forward on Taehyung’s chest, letting the older take his turn to pound into him.

Wooyoung bit down on his neck, overwhelmed with pleasure. Every thrust was hitting his sweet spot, making him come only a few seconds after the position switch. His release spilled out on Taehyung’s shirt, the white drops obvious against the dark coloured material.

Taehyung fucked him through his orgasm, feeling his hole tighten as he came inside. Although they used a condom, Wooyoung felt the warmth of the cum inside his ass. He moaned loudly in contentment; his body tired from riding the other man.

“God Wooyoung”, Taehyung spoke while he pulled his cock out from his ass, earning a small whimper. “We were supposed to rehearse the choreography today.”

“Mmh but Hyung”, Wooyoung sat up, looking at the older man “How can I focus when my teacher is this hot?” he smirked playfully. “I wouldn’t mind another round…”

“Firstly, I’ll have you know I don’t do this with all of my students. Secondly, damn how much stamina do you have??”

Wooyoung sighted, “I’m so horny these days I can’t focus on anything else. I can’t even get my assignments done properly.”
“Then, what are you gonna do?” Taehyung asked.
“I don’t know… just fuck around until I’m satisfied?”
This got the older man to raise an eyebrow “are you not satisfied?”

“Don’t take it personally Hyung. It’s like… I just keep craving for more? Like… I want more people but… all at the same time?” A surprised sound left his Hyung’s mouth as he continued “Is that weird? Do I sound like a slut?”

“Erm I don’t think so? We all have fantasies, right? I mean personally I don’t like to share but I know there are people who do, I guess.” Taehyung explained, although he was caught off-guard by the confession. “You should put some clothes back on, my next student is coming in in a few minutes.”

“Oh shit” Wooyoung grabbed his clothes that were scattered around the practice room. He had the first seminar for his economics class in a few minutes. Yeosang and him had registered the same session so they could be together. He hurriedly got dressed and waved Taehyung goodbye. The latter was a last year student in performing arts, he also worked as a dance tutor for the department.

It’s not like Wooyoung had wanted to spend his private class fucking the tutor, it’s more that he couldn’t help himself. After his last panic attack two weeks ago, he had once again turned to sex to deal with his anxiety. It was even stronger this time. He would sleep little, come back to his shared room in the middle of the night and lie in bed, overtaken with fear.

On some nights when he felt too weak, Wooyoung would timidly join San in his bed. He felt embarrassed that he couldn’t sleep on his own, San must think of him as some spoiled dramatic kid.

Still though, his roommate always welcomed him with open arms and warm sheets. He would hug Wooyoung from the back, letting him use one arm as a pillow while his other arm would be around his waist. He would hold the bandaged arm and rub the skin around it softly, peacefully lulling Wooyoung to sleep.

San had early classes every day and would always be gone when Wooyoung woke up, he thought that was for the better though. He was ashamed and didn’t want to discuss his problems with him, though he knew San wouldn’t ask. He always respected his privacy.

Wooyoung jogged to his seminar, his lower back feeling a little pain after the intense “class” he’d just had. He spotted Yeosang who was waiting for him by the door, one eyebrow raised as he looked at him.

“Seriously? Again?” he criticised as his friend arrived closer to him. “Wooyoung, how many times has it been this week?” Yeosang asked, bewildered.
“Erm… 7th? I didn’t really keep count.”
“Wooyoung, it’s freaking Wednesday and you already fucked 7 different people. I don’t even know how that’s possible.” Yeosang rolled his eyes as he lectured his friend “You’re my friend so I have to let you know that you are acting like a slut.”
“Oh really?” Wooyoung asked innocently, “my dance tutor just now said he doesn’t think I am.”
“Damn, how nice” his best friend retorted sarcastically, squinting his eyes. “We gotta go in now, but this conversation is not over!”
“Mhmm~ as if I was the only one getting laid” Wooyoung winked at him, aware that Yeosang had been up to some fun over the past week.

He didn’t miss the blush creeping on his cheeks when they entered the classroom. Wooyoung had planned to sit at the front, as he knew this module was difficult. Unfortunately, all the front seats were completely full, that literally never happened in university. He wondered if other students were as keen as him for this module. He guessed they’d just have to come earlier next time.

“Hi everyone, my name is Park Seonghwa and I’ll be your econ tutor for this semester. Nice to meet you all!”

Wooyoung’s jaw dropped. He rubbed his eyes, staring at the man standing in front of the classroom. Wait, he rubbed his eyes again.
“Oh.My.” he started, slowly turning towards Yeosang.
“God.” The other continued, he couldn’t believe his eyes. “Wooyoung, am I dreaming right now?”
“I don’t think so Yeo, this does seem ethereal though.”
“Am I really seeing the most fucking handsome man in this country, no- this world? No- this…planet? Shit- this universe??” Yeosang was almost shaking, unable to take his eyes off the beautiful economics tutor.

Wooyoung gave him a light slap, “dude you’re staring!”
“So are you!” he grumbled. This was going to be an interesting semester.

In front of the class stood Park Seonghwa, last year student and tutor of the Introductory Microeconomics module. He was also known as the school prince or god. The university had a secret society fully dedicated to Seonghwa. Known as the “angry birdies” or the “toothlesses”, they were the most powerful secret society on campus. Its members were recognised through their eyebrow tattoos that mimicked those of an angry bird.

Every now and then, some society members turned into sasaeng fans. Once they got their first police warning, they would be expelled from the “angry birdies” through a farewell ceremony. The ceremony included a painful eyebrow tattoo removal by laser stolen from the Chemistry department. Well, they had quite the reputation.

“Omg I remember why I thought that name sounded familiar” Wooyoung whispered to Yeosang, “this guy is super famous in our school!”
“Why have I never heard of him though?”
“We were lowkey antisocial last year, maybe that has something to do with it” Wooyoung observed. It was the only explanation, they would never have missed someone like Seonghwa.

Yeosang sighted “well, I know I can never have him but he will be in my every fantasy from now on.”
“Yeo, you know that sounds disgusting right?”
“Says the one who’s fucked 7 people in less than three days? Every night I have to pray you don’t get some kind of STD, Woo!”

“Excuse me?” a low voice interrupted them, “if anyone has STD here, I am sorry but I have to ask you to leave to the medical centre.” Seonghwa was going around the classroom and had heard snippets of their conversation. Wooyoung and Yeosang were mortified in their chairs, wishing they could disappear into the ground as every eye was turned to them.

Seonghwa didn’t stop there however, as he continued to question them. “If any of you have an STD”, he turned back to the classroom, “please let me know”.
“You”, he pointed at Yeosang, “what’s your name?”
“Y-Yeosang.”
“Alright Yeosang. Unless you really do have an STD, I suggest you don’t talk about anything non-related to economics in my classroom.” Seonghwa said authoritatively.

“Y-yes sir.” Yeosang swallowed as Seonghwa went back to teaching. Once he made sure the tutor wasn’t paying attention to him anymore, he turned to Wooyoung “Omg! Did you hear that? He sounded so fucking hot!”

“Yeosang, did you have a question about elastic demand?” Seonghwa’s voice resonated once again. And this time, extremely embarrassed, he decided to be quiet for real while Wooyoung silently cried from laughter next to him. Yeosang wished for him to choke.

At last, the seminar ended and the two friends walked over to the library where they had agreed to meet Yunho, Mingi and San to work together on their first assignment. The group had become friendly over these past two weeks and would often grab lunch or dinner when they could.

“Wooyoungie!” San shouted when he took notice of the boy trying to find the meeting room. He earned himself several glares from other students, telling him to be quiet.

“Hey San,” Wooyoung casually greeted him “Is this the room?”
“Yeah, Yunho and Mingi went to the bathroom they’ll be back soon.” Yeosang noticed San’s eyes were fixated on Wooyoung, shining as he spoke with his roommate.
“Do they often go to bathrooms together?” Yeosang inquired.
“Yeah, always! It’s so random right?”
“San no offense but, it looks suspicious to me.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”

He felt Wooyoung’s arm on his, silently telling him to not push it. He’d mentioned before that San was extremely oblivious when it came to his friends’ relationship. It would probably be a huge shock to him once he found out Yunho and Mingi’s bathroom trips were not so ‘random’.

When the others came back, they worked on the assignment all together. Yeosang was busy blabbing about how the tutor Park Seonghwa was the hottest guy he had ever seen. He didn’t fail to notice how San kept glancing in Wooyoung’s direction every 5 seconds. That was interesting. He knew San was totally Wooyoung’s type, but it would be unlikely for him to sleep with his roommate. Concerning the latter, Yeosang was pretty sure he wasn’t gay until today.

Thinking about it, San and Wooyoung acted a little strangely around each other. They were really close friends, that Yeosang could tell. However, they never initiated any kind of skin ship, which was strange for someone like Wooyoung. He always seemed to shy away as soon as they sat a little too close.

Yeosang knew something wasn’t right with his best friend. Wooyoung was acting weird. He was weirdly cheerful all the time, slept around way too much and didn’t spend any time on his own. He knew that he should wait for his friend to open up, that it would come at some point. However, Wooyoung had a history of anxiety and that worried Yeosang.

At that moment, Wooyoung’s phone started buzzing. The boy smiled when he saw the name on the screen and picked it up.

“Hi Yoongi Hyung”, he spoke in a soft voice, trying not to disturb his friends too much.
“Oh you spoke with Taehyung?” a small smile made its way on his lips while he listened to his senior. “Yeah sure, I’m so down. 5pm at your place?”
“Sure, see you and Taehyung Hyung later!”

Yeosang shot him an annoyed look, easily guessing their short conversation. He was fed up with his friend’s attitude and it was time to seriously confront him. He did just that.

“Seriously? They call you and you go?”
“Yeosangie, please” Wooyoung answered, worrying as their friends started paying attention to them. Yeosang was quite obviously tensed up, glaring at him.
“Fuck no, Wooyoung. I’m tired of you acting like this.”
“Why do you care? It’s my life not yours.”

Taking a deep breath, Yeosang tried to calm himself down before he replied. “I care because I’m your best friend. It’s my job to tell you if you’re going too far, and this, this isn’t you Wooyoung!”
The latter defied him. “This isn’t me?” he chuckled, “what if it’s exactly who I am?”.

San, Yunho and Mingi were quietly observing the tense conversation. Wooyoung and Yeosang were staring each other down, not even caring that they weren’t alone in the room.

San’s eyes were on Wooyoung, carefully analysing his reactions. He had no clue what the argument was about but, he knew the boy had been off lately. Of course, after what happened the night of the party, he had let Wooyoung have his space and never asked questions. Still, he couldn’t help but worry about his roommate. He was constantly on his mind, it bothered him that he spent so many nights away from their room.

The few times he came home, he would timidly join San in his bed. He was cold and shaky, sometimes his face was tear strained but he never said a word. It made San worry for him, care for him. It made him want to bring back the real Wooyoung.

His thoughts got interrupted by the two best friends suddenly raising their voices at each other.

“You’re acting like a fucking whore Woo!” Yeosang was shouting.
“You don’t even know anything so you better shut up!” Wooyoung gritted his teeth, eyes quickly becoming watery.
“I know what I see and you need a fucking therapist. Isn’t it fucked up Woo?”
“Stop calling me that! What is fucked up? I’ve done nothing wrong!” Wooyoung defended himself, tears threatening to fall. He never handled arguments well.

Yeosang stopped for a second before replying, he would regret not stopping longer.
“Isn’t it fucked up you became addicted to sex after getting rap-“

A hand came in contact with his cheek before he could finish his sentence. Wooyoung slapped him hard, tears finally falling on his face. Before Yeosang realised what he had done, the boy was already storming off the room.

“Shit…” Yeosang whispered to himself, holding a hand on his face.

San stood up, “What the fuck was that? Why would you insult him like that!”

He packed his things, grabbing Wooyoung’s books on the way. “Wooyoung is right, you don’t even know anything!”

This caught Yeosang’s attention, “I think I know more about him than you do.”

“Even so, you don’t know everything. Don’t treat him like this.”

With that, San ran out of the room.

He prayed Wooyoung wouldn't do anything stupid, he had to find him.

Chapter Text

“Fuck!”

Wooyoung cursed loudly, kicking a trashcan to the ground. He was fuming after his argument with Yeosang. He never expected his best friend to be so insensitive. It was true that Wooyoung pretended to be fine after the latest incident, only San knew about his breakdown and that was already embarrassing enough.

The worst part was that Yeosang was actually right. He was fucked up, he knew that. It just hurt to hear it being confirmed by someone else, someone who knew him so well.

Ever since that night when he had been drugged, Wooyoung had pretended everything was fine. He tried to forget about it, try to make it seem like it had just been a bad dream. Unfortunately, even though he tried so hard to pretend it didn’t happen, he could tell something in him had changed.

This obsession with sex and with being in control of his own body was taking a toll on him. It had gotten to a point where he couldn’t hide it from Yeosang anymore. He knew the other boy was right, but he couldn’t change. No one could help him at this point!

At least, fucking around was better than cutting, right? Maybe it was for a good cause after all. Wooyoung’s trauma left him little to no choices in how to deal with his emotions.

He kicked the trashcan once again while whining. He was so frustrated from the argument and seriously needed some distraction. He was about to call Yoongi to ask if he could go over earlier, when the sound of his name being called stopped him.
“Wooyoungie! I finally found you!” It was San who was running up to him, panting as he came up to Wooyoung. “Are you… okay?”

San looked genuinely concerned for him, Wooyoung wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. He was afraid his roommate was taking pity on him again. He chose not to reply, just stood there next to the spilled trash. It was fitting, really.

“You left some of your stuff in the study room.” San reached for his backpack before opening it and putting the textbooks inside carefully. “Am I bothering you?” he asked, looking back up at the other boy.

Wooyoung still didn’t say a word, only stared back into San’s caring eyes. He was reminded of the time he had a breakdown in their bathroom, the proof still painfully visible on his wrist. Unconsciously, he grabbed it, hand grazing over the fresh bandage from the morning.

He liked San, really liked him even. But ever since that night, he couldn’t act like his proper self around him. Whenever San’s eyes were on him, he could see the same worry and care that had shown on the night he cleaned up his blood. It hurt Wooyoung. He wished he could erase the scene from both of their memories.

San seemed to notice his discomfort and approached him slowly. He softly grabbed Wooyoung’s hand that was clenching at his wrist and held it in his own. He had a sincere smile on his face and his eyes were shining. Wooyoung felt himself blush a little. The other boy was so sincere and cared for him in a way that was different from Yeosang. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was exactly that made San stand out so much.

“Wooyoungie” San squeezed his hand, rubbing his thumb on the soft skin, “let me buy you a hot chocolate?”

Wooyoung nodded and shyly returned the smile “thanks San”.

San led the way to a quiet coffee shop nearby their campus, “the hot drinks here are really good” he assured the other who followed him without questions.
“I trust you” Wooyoung said, feeling all warm from their hands that stayed intertwined all the way.

Upon arriving at the little café, San greeted the girl working at the counter and she nodded back, her eyes lingering on their hands a little too long. The boy seemed to pay no mind to it and directed Wooyoung to a secluded but cosy sofa. There was a large glass vitrine on the side giving him an almost perfect view on the business faculty.

“Oh, that’s our faculty building!” Wooyoung exclaimed, “why have I never heard of this cafe before?”
San explained “It’s only popular with regulars now, the Starbucks on campus stole most of the clients when it opened 2 years ago.” Wooyoung opened his mouth in understanding, his eyes went back to the view while San went to order their drinks.

His quickly got lost in his thoughts. It happened to him a lot these days, although he tried never to think too much. He thought back to his argument with Yeosang, his mood darkening a little. He knew he was being stupid and that had frustrated his best friend, but he didn’t want to have to explain every little thing that was going on inside his head. There were too many.

He sighted, placing his head inside his hands as San got back with their drinks. Instead of sitting across him, his roommate took a seat next to Wooyoung on the sofa. A hand found his back and rubbed it slowly, easing Wooyoung out of his thoughts to focus back on San.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” San asked. His body turned completely towards Wooyoung and he placed another hand on his thigh.

The two were close friends among their group but it was extremely rare for Wooyoung to engage in any kind of skin ship with San in public. It’s not that he didn’t want to, he just always felt embarrassed in front of the other. He hadn’t been able to open up fully and he blamed himself a little for that. San had been nothing but understanding and kind to him ever since the first night.

Wooyoung leaned back into the comfortable sofa before speaking up. “Yeosang was right, you know.” He sent a sad smile to San as he said those words.

The other grabbed the hot drink and placed it into Wooyoung’s hands. “Drink this.” As he watched the younger take his first sip, he spoke up “I’m not sure what’s going on between you two but Yeosang was unnecessarily rude to you. Does he not care about how it might make you feel? I just-”

“What? Were you scared I’d get hurt and try cutting again?” Wooyoung cut into his sentence, staring at the flustered boy with his perfected poker face.

“That’s not…”
“I’m not that weak San. What you saw that night is… it’s not usual, I don’t usually do things like that. I had reasons.”
“Wooyoung…” San stared into his eyes so deep, he got scared he would see through him.

“I’ll answer your questions if you have any, but I am really okay San. I don’t want you to keep thinking of me as this weak and pitiful boy who-”
“Wooyoung!”

Wooyoung stopped in his tracks, shocked by the sudden outburst. San was always calm but right now, he looked angry at him. Wooyoung felt a little sheepish at that thought, it was interesting how he always managed to annoy his closest friends.

“Sorry” he muttered with a small voice.

San sighted next to him, “you misunderstood me Wooyoungie.” His voice was soft again. “I have never thought of you as ‘weak’ or ‘pitiful’! I can’t believe you would think that, seriously…”

Wooyoung pouted, feeling a little confused. “But you always… treat me so nicely and carefully…”

San smiled at that, “Am I not allowed to treat my roommate and friend nicely?”

“You are! It’s just you are TOO nice, you’re different than the others…” Wooyoung kept pouting, a small blush spread on his face again. This conversation felt strangely intimate.

“Do you not like me acting that way?” San enquired, genuinely sounding concerned.

“See, you’re doing it again! Caring so much?” the other boy pointed out.

San chuckled. His hand left Wooyoung’s thigh to reach for his hot chocolate and take a few sips. “You said I was different to the others. Thinking about it, I also feel different when it comes to you. I keep… wanting to make you happy? Does that make sense?”

Wooyoung hummed, still listening to his friend.

“When you look happy, I feel happy. I just like it. I wish you could always be happy Wooyoungie because, you’re one of the nicest people I’ve ever met.” San’s eyes shifted to look down as he continued, “I never thought of you as weak, I actually respect and admire you a lot.”

Wooyoung was taken aback at that, “Huh? Why would you, of all people, admire me?” He felt extremely confused, as if he was just finding out he had been wrong about San this whole time. Which would make sense since he tended to jump to conclusions in his head a lot.

San looked up to him, seeming equally surprised. “Are you kidding me?”

Wooyoung took a deep breath, “Sannie, there are some things you don’t know about me. If you knew… I think you’d be disgusted by me. It’s how I feel about myself too sometimes. It’s hard trying to hide those things from my own self, that’s why I… feel sad sometimes I guess.” He spoke it all too fast, barely registering what was coming out of his mouth.

“Oh my god Wooyoungie” San exclaimed. He started laughing as he pulled the boy into a hug. Wooyoung let a surprised yelp out as he felt the other’s arms circling his upper body. He felt San still laughing against him, “what are you laughing?”

“Okay, sorry.” San let go of him and moved so they were both facing each other. “I can’t believe you think of me like this! I must have made a really bad first impression on you!” he kept laughing, a bewildered expression on his face.

“Mmh well…uh…” Wooyoung didn’t know what to say, even more confused by the situation than before. He was discovering San all over again. Although the boy had always acted friendly and protective around him, he’d forced himself to think that it was only because he pitied him. But now that he was laughing like this, Wooyoung realised he had been so wrong to judge him so fast.

Without thinking, he grabbed San’s hands into his own and held them tightly. “I’m sorry Sannie.”
“Don’t worry about it sweetie, we can start over”

Wooyoung blushed at the nickname which made San snicker, he still agreed.

“Stay with me tonight. Let’s have some bonding time.” San suggested, fingers still intertwined.

And Wooyoung wouldn’t have had it any other way. Over the past few minutes, his heart had started beating faster than normal. He looked at San with stars in his eyes, beaming at him.

He suddenly wanted to throw himself onto the other boy’s lap and give him the tightest hug. For the first time in a long time, he felt understood and a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

“Wooyoungie?”
“Yes! Let’s do that!” he was quickly brought back to the present moment.

San flashed a smile “Come on then, I’ll help you finish the micro econ assignment first.”

Wooyoung allowed himself to rest his head on San’s shoulder, almost burying his face into the crook of his neck as he smiled. “I owe you so much San.”

“Stop thinking that stupid, I’m your friend! You’d do the same for me right?” San asked cheekily while his arm made its way around Wooyoung’s shoulders to hold him close. The latter closed his eyes, relaxing at the touch. He hummed in agreement.

It might have been because his body was so used to falling asleep under San’s touch. When he closed his eyes, he found himself drifting off to sleep easily.

San chuckled softly, careful not to wake the other up. “Never mind the assignment then” he whispered.