It feels weird, honestly. Not a bad kind of weird, per se, just weird he thinks.
Maybe it’s more a feeling of disbelief ー yeah that’s it, disbelief. Because even after an entire night of restless tossing and turning on his bed, pacing his apartment, and getting yelled at by Hoseok to sit down somewhere the truth, the realization, still had yet to properly set in, and honestly Jimin doesn’t know if that’s a good or bad thing.
He stares out of the window silently, though his eyes weren’t really focused. Cars, people, and buildings passed by in a blur but he stared stagnantly at nothing in particular. His mind was elsewhere ー his mind was in the airport and soon his body would be catching up. His breathing was even and overall he looked relaxed but Jimin has always been a great actor. Mentally his thoughts and emotions were racing. A mix of excitement and fear that canceled out physically and made him appear as calm as can be. Anybody who knew him knew better though.
(Jungkook knew better)
Though it wasn’t obvious to the untrained eye, the way he was tapping his foot unrhythmically and the way he nibbled lightly on his plush lips was more than enough of an indicator that he was not okay and Jungkook knew that. And Jimin knew that Jungkook knew, he sees him out of the corner of his eye looking at him through the mirror, and yet he refuses to acknowledge it. If Jimin acknowledges Jungkook’s knowing look then everything becomes real. The reality that he’s not okay and that he’s scared becomes real . The funny thing is that he doesn’t even know why he’s scared (terrified). He should be happy ー well, he is happy. There’s just a confusing mix of emotions going on within him right now.
“Hyung,” Jungkook’s soft voice broke through the barrier of Jimin’s mind. He blinks in response and hums but doesn’t bother looking over at him.
“Calm down,” he said with a laugh. “You’re going to be fine! He’s going to love you! And if he doesn’t we’ll leave him stranded,” Jungkook joked with a shit-eating grin as he turned around in his seat to fully face Jimin.
“Yeah I’m pretty sure if we run fast enough he won’t be able to catch us. I’ve been told that I’m an excellent getaway driver,” Jin quipped and tapped the steering wheel for emphasis, but he was quick to add, “Don’t ask.”
At that Jimin really did have to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back a smile. Instead, he opted for turning to look at Jungkook and rolling his eyes. “Of course he’s going to love me, who wouldn’t.” His false confidence, though perfectly crafted onto his face with a sly smirk, didn’t really carry through with his words and in the end, his tone quickly gave away to the feelings brewing within his chest.
Jungkook quickly took notice of this and let his expression soften a bit. His grin fell into a sympathetic smile ー thin yet sincere ーand his eyes said something that Jimin couldn’t quite read. Well more like didn’t want to read.
It’s okay, you’re going to be okay. I understand.
The thing is, he didn’t understand. He couldn’t. He had Jin, he always had Jin. This was very different and while he appreciated the gesture it didn’t help much.
It felt almost pitying, honestly, and Jimin didn’t want pity. There was nothing to pity. This was supposed to be a wonderful moment for him and yet here he is worrying himself half to death over what-ifs and even less in the back seat of his best friend’s car.
Wait maybe he did need the pity. At the thought Jimin physically deflated back into the seat, secretly hoping to be swallowed by the mysteriously stained seat (he wants to ask Jin about it but is afraid of his answer; maybe later).
“Don’t worry about me Kookie, I’m fine,” a lie, “just a little jittery,” he said, following it with a weak laugh.
Jimin didn’t give Jungkook much time to answer, or he just didn’t acknowledge his answer, as he focused his attention back out of the window.
Jungkook’s eyebrows furrowed together and he went to say something more but stopped when he felt Jin gently flick his shoulder. With a frown, he looked over at his boyfriend only to be met with a similar frown and a shaking head. No words had to be exchanged for Jungkook to understand to just leave it alone, for now at least. He sighed and slumped back into his seat, unsatisfied with his failed attempt at making Jimin feel better.
The rest of the drive was spent in relative silence for the most part, until about partway through Seokjin claimed that the tense silence was “suffocating” him and practically threw the aux cord at Jimin. “DJ for us Jiminie, I’m dying over here,” he claimed ー pointedly ignoring the way Jungkook complained. Jimin snickered but said nothing as he took out his phone and scrolled through his many, many saved songs. For a moment be was just about to throw it on shuffle and let the algorithm of his phone pick the song but a particular song title struck a nerve within Jimin’s core.
There was a beat of hesitation before pressed the song and quickly turned off his phone screen, placing it down on the dash between Jungkook and Jimin.
Before either of the men in the front seats could question his song choice it started and a wave of silence fell over them once again.
Close your eyes and listen carefully to my story
Before my story ends, you will dream
Little star tonight
All night, I will watch over you
As if having an automatic response, Jimin closed his eyes with such ease and delicacy it was almost like he was falling asleep. He hummed along lowly with the gentle rhythm and suddenly, with little to no context, the two understood.
It was their song.
Jimin’s shoulders slumped as the tension suddenly vanished from his body and a slack smile grew onto his face.
Okay, yeah, maybe things were going to be okay.
Okay, no , things were not going to be okay.
Everything was loud, too loud. He can’t fucking think.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” Jimin suddenly announced as he launched himself up from the plastic chair and immediately headed for the nearby bathroom. Seokjin and Jungkook stopped mid-conversation in surprise and snapped their heads in Jimin’s direction as he stormed off. They shared a look of confusion before getting up and following after him, calling his name in a useless effort as he obviously wasn’t listening. The most it got them was curious stares from the strangers around them.
Jimin burst into the men’s bathroom dry heaving and quickly made his way to the nearest open stall. He dropped to his knees in front of the toilet and prepared to empty the contents of his stomach into the porcelain bowl but nothing came out. He stayed there for a few minutes, on his knees ー trying not to think about how gross this actually is ー as he drooled into the toilet just waiting.
It didn’t take long for Jungkook and Seokjin to join him in the bathroom. They said nothing, not knowing what to say; Jungkook just joined Jimin within the stall, silently rubbing his back as he was hunched over and Seokjin stood guard at the stall door, offering an apologetic smile to the people that would occasionally leave and enter and stall. It wasn’t until Jimin felt he could stand without wanting to drop dead that he finally got up off of his knees. He spat into the toilet for good measure before wordlessly shuffling out of the stall and toward the sinks. He could feel their eyes peering holes into his back as he did so, but he did his best to ignore the chills it gave him.
He was embarrassed, to say the least.
As he reached the sink he kept his eyes down, trying not to look up and make eye contact as he began to wash his hands. Honestly, there was no need for that but he just felt so dirty that it was a necessity.
He rubbed his hands with soap gently and cleared his throat. “Heh, the last time we were in that position I’d just challenged Jin-hyung to a drinking competition,” he started with a weak laugh. “I won. You remember?” he asked and took a chance to look up at his reflection. They were not laughing, not that he expected them to ー only hoped.
They both wore this look of worry and confusion and Jimin couldn’t stand it. He hated it. He forced his eyes down and began to wash his hands with more vigor than before.
“Jiminie,” Jin started, his voice soft and careful ー as if he were talking to a wounded animal.
“Don’t. Just don’t, please,” Jimin said quickly, shutting off the faucet and turning around to look at them both. “I just, I’m sorry, I can’t.”
“At least explain what all that was?” Jungkook asked, his big eyes filled to the brim with worry. “I thought you were really happy to see Taehyung? You guys have been planning this for months right?”
A rouge wave of dread crashed over Jimin as those words seemed to be the final tipping point. His face crumbled and his hands began to shake. A familiar sting started in his eyes and his throat began to get scratchy. This was bad.
“That’s just it,” his voice started off as small as he felt right about now, “we did. We planned this exact day to the T. He’s going to land soon and I’m supposed to be waiting out there for him with big arms and a wide smile and here I am close to having a breakdown and a probably very unsanitary bathroom with you guys looking at me as if I’m some sort of kid all because I’m scared. I’m fucking scared and I don’t know how to handle it!”
Jimin had been holding everything in, boiling over, just hoping that maybe these nerves would go away and that things would go as ideally as they planned but they weren’t and now he’s losing it. All the contents of his feelings were spilling out now and at this point, he didn’t even have the energy to stop it.
“I get that you’re nervous hyung but-”
“NO YOU DON’T!” Jimin snapped, causing both a look of hurt to flash in Jungkook’s eyes and shock flash into Jin’s. Regret immediately took over Jimin and he ran a frustrated hand through his pink locks. “I’m sorry, but you just don’t. I’m not just nervous Jungkook, I’m fucking terrified. Taehyung is perfect, he’s everything I’ve ever wanted and I knew that from the very beginning. And yeah, he has been mine for a while now, but it’s different now. We’ve texted, called, video chatted, hell I’ve even sung songs for him! But now? This’ll be the first time we’ve met face to face and I just can’t stop thinking about he’d everything I’ve ever want but what if it’s not the same for him? What if as soon as we meet he sees me for who I truly am? What if I’m not good enough and what if he leaves?
“Things were perfect, have been perfect for the longest time, but what if we only work when we’re not face to face? I don’t want things to end before I’ve even gotten a taste! So yeah, excuse me if I’m a little ‘nervous’.” His voice was uneven and cracked with every other word but there was power in his words ー power that left Jungkook speechless.
Jimin had to take a few deep breathes to ground himself; he honestly didn’t want to start sobbing here. Running into the bathroom dry heaving was more than enough embarrassment for the day.
Jin stared pensively at Jimin for a moment before suddenly walking forward and engulfing the younger in a hug, to which Jimin immediately melted into. He buried his face into Jin’s neck and took a shaky breath. “I’m so scared and I don’t know what to do,” he muttered, his voice just barely above a whisper.
Seokjin chuckled lowly and pulled away from the embraced. He looked Jimin in the eye with a gently raised eyebrow. “You’re stupid that’s what you are.”
That took Jimin by surprised and he looked at him confused. “What?”
Jin took a step back and shook his head a bit. “You’re stupid. Jiminie, being scared because of this sort of thing is expected, especially with your situation. Honestly, I’d be kind of worried if you weren’t scared,” he said with a sort of laugh. “I’m not going to lie to you and say that things are going to be perfect because that’s just not true. It’s impossible. You guys are going to clash on some things but that’s normal, that’s okay, and if you love him just as much as you claim you do you’ll make things work. You just have to take things one step at a time, hand in hand,” he said his tone stern yet gentle. Jimin couldn’t tell if he was being encouraged or scolded, maybe a little bit of both.
“And I’m more than sure that he cares about and loves you just as much as you do him. Did you forget that we’re all in a group chat with each other? You guys are actually disgusting, even more so than when Namjoon finally started dating Yoongi and Hoseok.” At that Jimin actually laughs, weakly but he manages. He sniffs and rubs at his eyes, doing his best to blink away the tears that were still threatening to fall.
“I guess so,” he said softly.
“I know so, we all know so,” Jin said with confidence. He smiled at Jimin and huffed a bit. “Good, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way can we please leave this restroom? Who knows what has gone on in here,” he said with a dramatic shiver.
Jin’s words didn’t immediately eradicate his worries and insecurities but they eased them, for now at least, and that’s all Jimin needed, he thinks. Jin has always had a way of calming Jimin, and for that, he’ll never be thankful enough.
Taking a deep breath, he nodded, wordlessly supplying an answer.
Satisfied with his work, Jin spun around on his heel and marched toward the door. Jungkook began to turn and go after him but Jimin stopped him, grabbing his sleeve and offering an apologetic look. “Kookie,” he started, “I’m sorry for snapping at you like that. I didn’t mean to be rude I was just,” he stopped himself and tried to find the right word.
“Frustrated? Yeah, it’s okay hyung, I get it ー at least I think I do. Next time though, just talk with us instead of holding all that in for that long, okay?” Jungkook said with a smile. “I don’t like seeing you like that.”
Jimin solemnly nodded. “Yeah, I’ll make sure to. Sorry, again,” he said, matching Jungkook’s smile.
The two began to head their way toward the door, Jimin following after Jungkook when a voice called out to them.
They stopped in their tracks, turning to face the older man that was walking out of a stall. “You, the pink one, I wish you the best of luck with your love!” he exclaimed grinning.
Jimin’s eyes widened and his face immediately got red. Oh god, he completely forgot that they were, in fact, in public and that anybody could (did) listen in on their very private conversation.
Jungkook snickered at his side and Jimin sent a sharp elbow into his side, earning an oof! from the younger. Jimin forced a smile, though it seemed more like a grimace, and bowed politely to the older man. “Thank you sir!” he said. Before Jungkook could dissolve into annoying cackles Jimin hurriedly rushed him through the door.
“Oh my god!” Jungkook exclaimed as he began his laughing fit.
“Shut up!” Jimin buried his face into his hands and groaned.
Seokjin stared at them with an unamused look on his face. “What took you two so long? Don’t tell me you got lost 3 steps behind me?”
That caused Jungkook to laugh even harder and before he could try and explain Jimin growled and looked up at his hyung. He opened his mouth to speak but it immediately snapped shut as he peered past Seokjin and toward the baggage claim.
A mess of blue hair stood directly in his line of vision and glancing around.
Even from this distance, Jimin could pick him out in the crowd.
“Taehyung...” Jimin just barely whispered. He sounded breathless as if he had just come from running a marathon and at this point that’s what it felt like. The wind had gotten knocked out of his lungs the moment he laid eyes on him.
Is this real?
This isn’t real.
Can’t be . . .
It has to be.
“Don’t just stand there,” Jungkook said, ripping Jimin from his thoughts not only with his words but also with a shove to the shoulder.
He stumbled forward a bit and past Seokjin; he quickly regained his balance and shot a deadly glare behind him at the younger boy. As he turned his attention ahead of him once more he was met with a sight that had him freeze in his spot.
He was staring back at him, an unreadable expression on his face (at least from this distance).
And suddenly everything began to fade away. The bustle of the airport around them became muted and the only thing Jimin saw was him, his star. Taehyung.
His body seemed to react before his brain did and Jimin found himself moving forward ー honestly, it felt like he was gliding ーgently and with ease. The only thing he could hear was the rush of his blood in his veins and the pounding of his heart as it hammered dangerously against his ribcage.
Surprisingly, though, all traces of anxiety and fear had been put away in the back of his mind and the only thing he could think about was Taehyung. He wanted only Taehyung. He wanted to hold him, to touch him, to hear him up close. He only wanted him.
It seemed like forever before they met in the middle but when they did there was a beat of stillness between them. And at that moment they just looked at each other, taking the other in as if it were a dream and they wanted to savor every single moment like it. Then, without any warning, they crashed into each other in a gutwrenching embrace. They fit together immediately like the most perfect puzzle pieces and Jimin’s so very sure he never wants to let go. As they held each other almost silently, save for their collective grunts and gasp of disbelief, and swayed ever so slightly, completely lost in one another.
He buried his face into Taehyung’s chest and took a deep breath, his scent making him dizzy.
He laughed, though it came off muffled against Taehyung’s shirt. He pulled his head back just enough so he can look at him and grinned, his eyes burning again but this time for a much better reason. God, he can barely see with how hard he’s smiling. “You smell like strawberries, just like you said,” Jimin said, his voice soft and breathless.
Taehyung laughed, it came out a bit wet, and he sniffed a bit before saying, “See, I told you so Minie.”
A few stray tears slipped from his eyes and Jimin was quick to unwrap his arms from around Taehyung’s neck and cup his face; he used his thumbs to wipe away the tears. Taehyung unraveled from around Jimin’s waist and wrapped his hand around his wrist. He leaned in heavily into his touch and closed his eyes, obviously savoring the moment as much as he could.
“C’mon, don’t cry now love,” Jimin said as he brushed his thumb gently across his cheekbone.
Taehyung opened his eyes once more, his smile blinding Jimin. “I can’t help it, I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy before.”
Together the two broke out into a fit of giggles, Jimin leaning on Taehyung as he did so. “Me neither,” he said as he began to sober up from their laughter.
They stayed like this for a bit more, held in each other’s embrace. The rest of the world around them nonexistent as they just focused on each other. They were the only two people to exist as far as they were concerned.
“Can I kiss you?” Taehyung asked, leaning down just a bit. His eyes jumped from his eyes to his lips and back again, eager. “I’ve dreamt of kissing you every night since the first picture you’ve ever sent me,” he continues on.
Jimin’s gave an almost dreamy sigh but shook his head. “I want our first kiss to be ours: our moment. Just wait a little bit longer little star, okay?” he explained, easily slipping in the nickname he’s always wanted to say out loud.
Taehyung smiled, color rushing to his cheeks. “Yeah, I can wait,” he whispered before leaning forward and placing a gentle kiss on Jimin’s nose. He giggled in response and buried his face into his chest once again. Tae smiled triumphantly as if he accomplished something.
Just beyond them Jungkook and Seokjin watched on, looking both endeared and amused.
“Do you think we should break ‘em up soon?”
“Just a bit longer Kook-ah, let’s let them have their moment.”