Neil (1:00 PM): hey
Neil (1:00 PM): i think i’m at your complex?
Neil (1:01 PM): every building in this city looks the same
Matt (1:02 PM): !!!!!
Matt (1:02 PM): On the elevator down now
Matt (1:03 PM): Is the taxi at the curb with your stuff? Police get pissed when people idle there too long
Neil (1:05 PM): no i have everything on me
Matt (1:05 PM): Neil
Matt (1:06 PM): Did you move halfway across the country with just your duffle bag
Neil (1:06 PM): matt
Neil (1:07 PM): yes
Matt (6:30 PM): [neil_eating_REAL_chinese_food.jpg]
Matt (6:30 PM): NEIL: ACQUIRED
Dan (6:57 PM): Omg
Dan (6:57 PM): How’d everything go?
Matt (7:00 PM): Good! His flight was fine.
Matt (7:00 PM): I’m glad Mom and I went to IKEA for shit last week
Matt (7:01 PM): He brought one bag. One single bag, babe
Matt (7:02 PM): But the spare bedroom is fully furnished for him at least!
Dan (7:04 PM): Awww, good
Dan (7:04 PM): I can’t wait to visit
Neil (9:14 PM): i am “officially” moved into matt’s apartment
Andrew (9:16 PM): when does your first practice start
Neil (9:32 PM): no pondering about how it went? no inquiries regarding my new bedroom? not even a single probe into the suspicious quotation marks?
Andrew (9:33 PM): how long did that even take you to type out? i know you still use your pointer finger
Neil (9:36 PM): anyway practice starts at 7 am tomorrow
Matt Boyd @matthewboyd 10m
So excited to have @neiljosten on my team again! Welcome to the New York Mavericks, buddy!
350 replies 3.2k retweets 5k likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 4m
How does twitter work
90 replies 7k retweets 10k likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 1m
21 replies 1.8k retweets 6k likes
Neil (10:48 AM): this sucks
Andrew (10:59 AM): ?
Neil (11:10 AM): nothing
Andrew (11:11 AM): oh of course
Andrew (11:11 AM): can’t stand it when nothing sucks
Neil (11:13 AM): fuck off
Neil (11:20 AM): matt’s goalie isn’t as good as you
Andrew (11:22 AM): she’s your goalie too, junkie
Andrew (11:23 AM): since you’re on the same team now, and all
Neil (11:30 AM): yeah
Neil: [Draft] i just wish
Houston Tigers @HoustonTigers 30m
The Tigers are practicing hard for this week’s game against @NYMavericks!
#exy #proleague #houstontigers #NYmavericks
4 replies 205 retweets 653 likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 5m
@houstontigers lol good luck. you’ll need it, especially with your terrible strikers
220 replies 9k retweets 12.8k likes
Matt Boyd @matthewboyd 1m
@neiljosten @houstontigers Our PR department is about to have a heart attack but like… he’s not wrong
90 replies 2.5k retweets 7k likes
Andrew (11:00 PM): good game
Andrew (11:00 PM): kevin will not shut up about you
Neil (11:02 PM): great things, i assume
Andrew (11:03 PM): the usual. “neil should have taken advantage of his mark favoring his left side”
Andrew (11:04 PM): “he missed a shot that i know he’s hit before, he’s not practicing enough”
Andrew (11:04 PM): “when will josten and i legally be able to marry exy”
Neil (11:05 PM): every professional game we play is one step closer to changing the laws… sports marriage, we’re coming for you
Matt (8:19 AM): Shit Neil, Coach Snelling is about to like. Create a shrine for you
Neil (8:21 AM): why would she do that
Matt (8:21 AM): Ummm because you kicked ass against the Tigers?
Matt (8:22 AM): Wait did you not read the email
Neil (8:25 AM): we have emails?
Matt (8:27 AM): I’m coming home right now to show you the poetic glory of Snelling typing, “Josten’s addition to our roster spells disaster for all teams set to play against us this season”
Neil (8:28 AM): what does that even MEAN
Matt (8:29 AM): And yes wtf of course we have emails. Is that why you’ve become an absolute renegade on Twitter? You don’t get the warning emails about PR from Marina?
[1 missed call from ‘Andrew’]
Andrew (7:16 PM): i’m fine
Andrew (7:16 PM): i have already been cleared by our doctor
Andrew (7:17 PM): not even a concussion. there’s just bruising
Andrew (7:17 PM): don’t panic when you see the replays, moron
Neil (10:31 PM): fuck i was at late practice
Neil (10:31 PM): andrew
Neil: (10:33 PM) there’s a flight leaving in an hour and a half
Neil (10:33 PM): do you need someone to take care of you
Neil (10:33 PM): or even just be there
Andrew (10:34 PM): no
Andrew (10:34 PM): i already said it’s fine
Neil (10:34 PM): are you sure?
Neil (10:34 PM): sorry
Neil (10:35 PM): i know you wouldn’t lie to me
Andrew (10:35 PM): idiot. yes
Matt (3:15 PM): You’ve been in your room for like 9 hours
Matt (3:15 PM): I was gonna knock but thought maybe this would be easier?
Matt (3:16 PM): Are you okay? I know Andrew’s game looked rough
Neil (3:19 pm): i’m fine
Matt (3:20 PM): :(
Matt (3:20 PM): I texted Nicky and he said Andrew really is alright
Matt (3:21 PM): Ricochet injuries can look really bad but it wasn’t that damaging
Neil (3:23 PM): i know
Matt (3:24 PM): Do you need anything?
Neil (3:24 PM): matt
Matt (3:25 PM): Okay. Let me know
Neil (4:07 AM): don’t respond to this
Neil (4:07 AM): but i can’t stop seeing andrew take that hit when i close my eyes
Neil (4:08 AM): and it’s been a year since he graduated and we’ve lived together
Neil (4:08 AM): and i know he’s okay but what if he WASN’T
Neil (4:08 AM): and i’m on a fucking leash in new york while he’s across the country
Neil (4:09 AM): stuck here when something could happen
Neil (4:09 AM): it sucks. everything sucks
Neil (4:09 AM): i feel like i’m on the run again, matt
Andrew: [Draft] you can’t risk taking time off when you’ve only just signed with a new team
Neil (5:42 AM): tell coach i’m gonna be a few min late
Neil (5:43 AM): ah sorry that was for matt
Neil: [Draft] had your conversation open on accident
Andrew (5:45 AM): why?
Neil (5:46 AM): oh
Neil (5:46 AM): it’s nothing
Andrew (5:46 AM): why are you missing practice, neil
Neil (5:46 AM): i’m not
Neil (5:47 AM): i didn’t
Andrew (5:47 AM): and yet
Neil (5:50 AM): look i can’t do this right now
Neil (5:50 AM): why are you even awake
Neil (5:50 AM): it’s like 3 am for you
Andrew (5:51 AM): “look i can’t do this right now”
Neil (5:51 AM): andrew
Neil (5:51 AM): really?
Neil (5:53 AM): tell coach i’m gonna be a few min late
Matt (6:01 AM): You good?
Neil (6:02 AM): m business, stopped me while on my run
Matt (6:02 AM): Ah.
Matt (6:02 AM): Stay safe.
Neil (6:55 AM): they just wanted some info about jean, it’s fine
Matt (9:15 AM): Hey, I hope you’re doing alright
Matt (9:16 AM): I was wondering if you knew whether Neil ever ended up talking to Betsy when we were in school? Or like, after we graduated?
Renee (1:09 PM): Hello, Matt!
Renee (1:09 PM): I don’t think so. He never seemed to trust her.
Renee (1:09 PM): Has something happened?
Matt (1:15 PM): Hmm.
Matt (1:16 PM): Nothing big. I think he could benefit from finally talking about everything, and was hoping that’d be a good place to start
Renee (1:25 PM): As much as we both believe a therapist would be beneficial, I’m not sure he’s ready for that.
Renee (1:26 PM): Does he talk to you? Or Andrew?
Matt (1:30 PM) Sometimes…
Renee (1:31 PM): Then maybe that’s the place to start. Opening up to friends isn’t the equivalent of a professional, but he trusts you much more than he would a stranger.
Matt (1:35 PM): You’re right.
Matt (1:35 PM): Thanks Renee. I just want him to be okay, but things have been hard lately.
Matt (1:36 PM): Oh also what’s Andrew’s number?
Neil (7:04 PM): sorry
Andrew (7:15 PM): it’s fine
Neil (7:15 PM): are you being fucking condescending
Andrew (7:16 PM): no
Andrew (7:16) PM: it really is
Andrew (7:16 PM): i don’t care
Andrew (7:17 PM): you don’t have to tell me every part of your life
Neil (7:17 PM): it’s not that i don’t want to
Neil (7:17 PM): this morning was just a lot
Neil (7:18 PM): i don’t know why anyone thinks i’m an expert on jean
Neil (7:18 PM): or his fucking whereabouts. it’s not my job to track him, it’s theirs
Andrew (7:19 PM): oh
Andrew (7:19 PM): hm
Neil (7:19 PM): ?
Andrew (7:20 PM): just contemplating murder
Neil (7:20 PM): so an average tuesday, then
Andrew (7:21 PM): did they want anything else
Neil (7:21 PM): aw, i can feel you radiating hatred from across the country
Andrew (7:21 PM): hatred for you
Neil (7:22 PM): :(
Andrew (7:22 PM): who taught you that shit
Neil (7:22 PM): matt
Andrew (7:23 PM): cute
Neil (7:23 PM): :)
Andrew (7:24 PM): nevermind
Neil (2:17 PM): how are things
Andrew (2:17 PM): the same as always
Neil (2:18 PM): oh. cool
Andrew (2:18 PM): i guess. how’s new york?
Neil (2:18 PM): small talk? who are you and what have you done with andrew minyard
Andrew (2:18 PM): he has died a sad and pathetic death in this perpetually rainy state
Andrew: [Draft] things are marginally less bad when you’re visiting
Neil (6:23 PM): what do you want for dinner? [why_is_the_fridge_empty.jpg]
Matt (6:30 PM): !!!
Matt (6:30 PM): Pizza
Neil (6:32 PM): i can get us pizza
Matt (6:33 PM): Pizza date! ♥
Matt (6:33 PM): Please do not get any pineapple on the pizza
Neil (6:37 PM): whoops
Neil (9:04 PM): rolled my ankle at practice. stupid
Andrew (9:10 PM): ice it
Neil (9:11 PM): thank you dr minyard for the excellent advice i was already following
Andrew (9:11 PM): ew
Andrew (9:12 PM): never group me in the same category as aaron again
Neil (9:13 PM): you drive a hard bargain but deal
Neil (9:16 PM): what do you have going on
Neil: [Draft] i miss you
Matt (12:29 PM): [burrito_blanket_bros.jpg]
Matt (12:29 PM): This may come as a huge surprise, so brace yourself
Matt (12:29 PM): But I think Neil’s a little touch-starved
Dan (12:45 PM): Oh
Dan (12:45 PM): My
Dan (12:45 PM): God
Dan (12:46 PM): I’m sending this to Allison
Dan (12:46 PM): Also is everything okay? That is an extraordinarily cuddly Neil
Matt (12:46 PM): Working on it
Matt (12:47 PM): He’s having some issues with Andrew
Matt (12:47 PM): I think the distance is really hard for them both
Dan (12:47 PM): Yeah. :/
Dan (12:47 PM): I don’t think it’s easy for anyone
Dan (12:48 PM): But I can imagine why it would be so difficult for them
Dan (12:48 PM):: Neil’s lucky to have you, baby.
Matt (12:49 PM): More like, I’m lucky to have him CUDDLING ME INSIDE THIS BURRITO BLANKET
Dan (12:49 PM): God I wish that were me
andrew @aminyard 40m
who created oregon. i just want to talk
128 replies 1.1k retweets 2k likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 37m
oh sorry that was me
21 replies 1.7k retweets 3.4k likes
andrew @aminyard 2m
my account was suspended for making threats at the stupidest striker on the ny mavericks. this is the worst timeline
290 replies 5.4k retweets 6k likes
Andrew: [Draft] you should post more pictures on your dumb account
Matt (11:01 AM): Hey Andrew
Matt (11:01 AM): I got your number from Renee
Matt (11:01 AM): This is Matt, btw
Andrew (12:13 PM): what could you possibly want
Matt (12:14 PM): It’s about Neil
Andrew (12:15 PM): go on
Matt (12:16 PM): When was the last time you talked? Like, really talked?
Matt (12:16 PM): Things aren’t great here
Andrew (12:25 PM): that has nothing to do with you
Matt (12:27 PM): Jesus. I’m trying to help
Matt (12:28 PM): I think Neil needs you but he sure as shit isn’t going to tell you that
Andrew (12:30 PM): do you think i haven’t tried?
Matt (12:30 PM): No, I think you have
Matt (12:30 PM): But I also don’t think that’s enough
Matt (12:31 PM): Oh god hahaha I’m so glad there are like 3000 miles between us or I would never say this
Matt (12:40 PM): Look, Neil’s having a hard time. I don’t know if you’ve both decided to do this suffering in private thing or what, but it’s clearly not working out. I’ve done long-distance for years with Dan, and communication is really important.
Andrew (12:41 PM): ok
Neil: [Draft] are we okay? everything feels wrong
Matt (1:00 PM): This is worse than I thought
Dan (1:03 PM): What can I do?
Matt (1:04 PM): I don’t know. Andrew was like talking to a brick wall
Matt (1:06 PM): Neil looks like he’s always about to cry but also has no idea even how to. Has he been like this since we left school?
Dan (1:28 PM): I talked to Robin. Seems like he hasn’t been doing well for awhile
Dan (1:29 PM): We should have noticed
Dan (1:31 PM): You should both come visit. I’m sure seeing Wymack and the Foxes would help. Neil loves Palmetto
Matt (1:34 PM): You’re a genius. I could kiss you
Dan (1:34 PM): You’ll be able to soon ;)
Andrew (2:15 PM): hey
Neil (9:58 PM): hey
The Exy Report @exyreport 15m
Ouch! With a close 31-30 game, the @OregonOtters have lost their semifinals game to the @ClevelandBears. Better luck next season! #exy #exyupdates #exysemifinals
Neil (5:00 PM): we’re going back to palmetto to see dan and everyone this weekend
Andrew (5:05 PM): tell robin i said hi
Neil (5:05 PM): oh
Andrew (5:05 PM): ?
Neil (5:15 PM): idk
Neil (5:15 PM): i was thinking maybe you could come too
Neil (5:15 PM): since your team didn’t qualify for championships
Neil (5:15 PM): crazy of me right haha
Neil (5:16 PM): clearly you’ll still be busy doing whatever the hell you’re doing
Neil (5:16 PM): even though we haven’t seen each other since summer
Neil (5:16 PM): and i miss you
Neil (5:17 PM): i hate this
Neil (5:17 PM): i hate this fucking phone
Neil (5:17 PM): and i hate these stupid inane conversations about nothing
Neil (5:17 PM): and that i don’t get to see you or touch you
Neil (5:18 PM): and that you’re across the country in fucking oregon and every time i’m anywhere near california i want to puke
Neil (5:19 PM): so i don’t like to visit
Neil (5:19 PM): but it’s the only time i’ll get to actually see you
Neil (5:19 PM): and it’s the only time i don’t feel miserable since we were both at palmetto
Neil (5:20 PM): and even living with matt doesn’t feel like home because you’re not here
Neil (8:11 PM): andrew?
Neil (8:59 PM): fuck
Andrew (11:07 PM): abram
Andrew (11:17 PM): hey
Andrew (3:48 AM): what time does your flight get into palmetto
Matt (8:15 AM): It’s a redeye tonight, we should arrive around 3 in the morning
Andrew (8:15 AM): where are you staying
Matt (8:16 AM): Abby’s.
Matt (8:16 AM): You’re welcome
Andrew (8:17 AM): i will not thank you
Neil (11:00 PM): andrew
Andrew (4:12 AM): are you still awake
Neil (4:12 AM): yeah. why are you?
Andrew (4:13 AM): come outside
Matt (7:05 AM): I saw you and Andrew talking
Matt (7:05 AM): I felt extremely creepy because you definitely didn’t notice me
Matt (7:06 AM): And I MAY have eavesdropped on accident and heard you finally talking about how hard it’s been since Andrew left
Matt (7:06 AM): But I wanted you to know that I love you and am proud of you
Matt: (7:07 AM): And I’m really glad you’ve worked things out
Matt (7:07 AM): I know it can be hard to talk about things, especially with everything that’s happened to you both
Matt (7:07 AM): But I know you make each other happy and you both deserve that
Matt (7:08 AM): ...And also this is adorable and I’ve already sent it to Nicky, so expect like 15 calls as soon as he wakes up
Matt (7:08 AM): [andrew_cuPPED_NEILS_FACE_WITH_HIS_HANDS.jpg]
Neil (4:17 PM): hey
Andrew (4:18 PM): hey
Neil (4:18 PM): i know i said it a lot but thank you
Neil (4:18 PM): i really needed this weekend
Neil (4:19 PM): it seems like everyone knew something was wrong but me
Neil (4:19 PM): well
Neil (4:19 PM): i mean i knew something was wrong
Neil (4:20 PM): but matt has informed me that letting wounds fester can be deadly
Neil (4:20 PM): as if i haven’t had significantly more serious injuries than he has in the past
Neil (4:20 PM): and don’t possess basic first aid knowledge
Neil (4:21 PM): and ok, maybe i did have a blood infection that one time
Neil (4:21 PM): but
Andrew (4:21 PM): neil
Andrew (4:21 PM): i need you to shut up
Andrew (4:21 PM): i’m going to say this once and only once
Andrew (4:27 PM): you said i was your home
Andrew (4:29 PM): and that’s not something that has ever meant anything to me
Andrew (4:30 PM): but
Andrew (4:31 PM): i want you to be close to me
Andrew (4:33 PM): both of our contracts are only for the next year
Andrew (4:33 PM): and
Andrew (4:33 PM): i think
Andrew (4:34 PM): it’s something we should talk about. eventually
Andrew (4:36 PM): to start building a home together
Neil (4:59 PM): yeah
Neil (4:59 PM): yeah. yeah okay that’s good
Andrew (4:59 PM): shut up
andrew @aminyard 2m
15 replies 720 retweets 3k likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 1m
41 replies 1k retweets 4k likes
Neil (10:02 AM): which is a worse fate: being killed by you-know-who for getting kicked off the team
Neil (10:02 AM): or
Neil (10:02 AM): actually getting arrested for murder
Andrew (10:15 AM): ‘actually,’ he says
Andrew (10:15 AM): why are you being stupid enough to get caught
Andrew (10:15 AM): jail’s fine. just boring
Neil (10:29 AM): well it was in a public place
Neil (10:29 AM): and people had like. their phones out
Neil (10:30 AM): escaping after committing a murder crime in public seemed improbable
Andrew (10:31 AM): oh is this not a hypothetical
Andrew (10:31 AM): has neil ‘what is a brain-to-mouth filter’ josten gotten himself into trouble
Andrew (10:31 AM): for the millionth time
Neil (10:32 AM): i have never before this day encountered someone so unwilling to take a hint
Neil (10:32 AM): i spent ten minutes telling this guy i was not interested in him
Neil (10:33 AM): or his apparent prowess in the bedroom
Neil (10:33 AM): TEN MINUTES
Neil (10:33 AM): how can someone possibly be so oblivious
Andrew (10:34 AM): you’re one to talk
Neil (10:34 AM): what
Andrew (10:35 AM): i had to literally spell out that i wanted your dick in my mouth
Neil (10:35 AM): oh that’s different
Andrew (10:36 AM): is it? is it really?
Neil (10:36 AM): well no but ironically i had to tell him how little i wanted his dick anywhere near me to get him to go away
Andrew (10:38 AM): did this get posted anywhere?
Neil (10:38 AM): oh it’s all over twitter
Neil (10:38 AM): hence my question
Neil (10:39 AM): what are you, dense?
Andrew (11:00 PM): so
Neil (11:02 PM): so?
Neil (11:06 PM): what’s up
Andrew (11:06 PM): this is your fault
Neil (11:07 PM): ??? what is
Andrew (11:08 PM): [hellspawn.jpg]
Andrew (11:08 PM): this
Neil (11:08 PM): did you get a cat???
Andrew (11:09 PM): my entire life
Andrew (11:09 PM): i have slept fine alone
Andrew (11:10 PM): preferred it even
Andrew (11:10 PM): and you just had to go and ruin that
Andrew (11:10 PM): so now there is. a cat
Neil (11:11 PM): oh my god
Matt (9:40 AM): Hey Andrew!
Andrew (9:45 AM): we are not friends. do not text me
Matt (9:51 AM): Aw come on
Matt (9:51 AM): I’ll make it worth your while
Matt (9:57 AM): Oh god
Matt (9:57 AM): I’m not hitting on you I promise
Matt (9:58 AM): I MEANT
Matt (9:58 AM): Check this out
Matt (9:58 AM): When else are you going to get quality content like THIS
Matt (9:59 AM): [neilio_heavily_contemplating_the_wall_while_eating_cereal.jpg]
Matt (11:23 AM): Please respond
Matt (11:31 AM): Please do not have your phone off because you’re currently on your way to come kill me
Matt (11:32 AM): Please get distracted from your quest to murder me by Neil when you get here
Matt (2:15 PM): … Andrew?
Andrew (3:36 PM): i will allow this. for now
Andrew (3:36 PM): if you send more pictures
Neil (7:00 PM): are you and matt like
Neil (7:00 PM): actually talking
Andrew (7:01 PM): how dare you
Neil (7:02 PM): matt just confirmed “andrew and i are talking”
Andrew (7:02 PM): how dare both of you
Neil (7:03 PM): now he keeps trying to take weird pictures of me
Andrew (7:03 PM): how are they weird
Neil (7:04 PM): well there’s a camera
Neil (7:04 PM): and it’s pointed at me
Neil (7:04 PM): and
Neil (7:05 PM): that’s about it
Andrew (7:05 PM): i swear to god, josten
Matt (7:06 PM): [LOOK_at_that_distressed_eyebrow_furrow_omg.jpg]
Andrew (7:06 PM): acceptable
Neil Josten @neiljosten 14m
every former fox is dead to me
6 replies 23 retweets 96 likes
Kevin Day @therealkevinday 10m
@neiljosten Even me?
15 replies 60 retweets 159 likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 8m
@therealkevinday especially you
35 replies 308 retweets 1k likes
andrew @aminyard 2m
@neiljosten thank god
54 replies 829 retweets 1.7k likes
Neil Josten @neiljosten 30s
@aminyard ESPECIALLY you
106 replies 1.3k retweets 4.2k likes
Neil (8:24 PM): what is happening
Matt (8:25 PM): Andrew and I have reached a mutual understanding
Neil (8:25 PM): what an extremely concerning sentence
Matt (8:26 PM): An arrangement, if you will
Neil (8:26 PM): do i even want to know?
Neil (8:28 PM): matt
Matt (8:29 PM): Don’t worry your pretty little head about it, buddy
Matt (8:31 PM): Things seem a lot better between you two
Matt (8:31 PM): You guys good?
Neil (8:32 PM): yeah
Neil (8:32 PM): we are
Neil (8:32 PM): thanks
Neil (8:33 PM): :)