I can’t believe him. I really can’t believe him. 21 years old and acting like a toddler. I understand that he’s had it rough these last few years. Hell, he’s had it rough since the age of one. However, that does not excuse his behavior. The boy needs help, and a firm hand. He needs structure and discipline. The problem is, I’m not sure if he’d accept it from me, or if I could actually be the person he needs me to be. Could I put the past aside? Could this work? We haven’t exactly got along...ever. It’s not really his fault. He looks so much like James and it absolutely kills me.
Lily meant everything to me. When I was in school and said those horrible things to her, I thought she would never forgive me. She did forgive me, but she remained wary. Then when I told her about my true self, what I had discovered, she wanted nothing to do with it. She said maybe we could be friends, but she could never be with me, in that way. I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t just some sexual kink. Being a Dom is who I am, and it’s a part of my entire being, not just one aspect. I could control myself, and keep my mouth shut when necessary. If I had learned these skills as a boy, Lily and I may have been able to be together. I didn’t even get the chance to show her the improvements I had made, before she died. A day late, and a dollar short, I suppose.
During my late teens and early twenties, before I became a teacher, I was lost. I didn’t know what I wanted, except I knew I wanted to be with Lily, which at that point was out the question. She was going to marry that Potter git, and there was nothing I could do. She was never meant to be my submissive. If I’m being honest with myself, I knew she would never be a submissive for anyone. She would be 100% Domme, if she was going to participate at all. Which, again, would be a reason we would not be able be together. I tried the whole being a sub process, which, although very enlightening on how to be a better Dom, was really not for me.
When I was at the end my 7th year, I was ready to give up everything, and just find a quiet place to live out my days in peace. My parents were both dead, and my best and only friend, Lily, was off in her own world with Potter. I had just turned 18, and summer was fast approaching. I had no prospects for work, not that I needed anything. I had inherited the Prince family fortune.
As I finished my last NEWTs, I decided that it was time for me to pack up, and just leave for Spinners End. There was nothing left for me here, and likely nothing for me in the wizarding world at all, except potion making. I would just go home, and learn everything I could about potions, and sell them when I could. What was the point of dealing with people? The only person I ever truly loved doesn’t even know I exist anymore, nor does she seem to care.
As I was packing, an elegant owl swooped in and landed on my open trunk. He stretched out his leg and attached was a letter from Lucius. I had not seen Lucius in over 2 years, since he left school. We corresponded occasionally, but we were no longer as close as we were a few years ago.
Lucius was always like a brother to me, and took me in as a scared and lonely 1st year. I never really had any friends, apart from Lily, in school. I kept to myself, not wanting anyone to know anything about my personal life, especially my home life. Lucius was the one person, who broke through my walls. He helped me cope with my abusive father, and helped me learn to control myself. He was naturally calm and clear headed. I never understood how he could maintain that level of placidity. He was able to keep his emotions out of his decision making, unlike me. I have always been impulsive and got myself in a lot of trouble with my mouth, which is why I’ve always kept to myself.
I opened the letter:
I’m sure by now you have already started packing to go home. If I’ve learned anything about you, it that you don’t want any fuss over finishing your schooling, as that would draw attention to you. I request that you remain at Hogwarts until after the leaving feast, and I will be picking you directly afterwards. We have much to discuss in regards to your post-Hogwarts plans, specifically in terms of employment. I will see you soon, my friend.
I was flabbergasted. Lucius had work for me? What work? I honestly don’t even know what he does, outside of being involved in politics. What could he possibly want with me? I’m no politician, and I absolutely refuse to work for the ministry. Now I have to sit and endure this damn feast. The only bright side is, I don’t have to ride the train back to London with all these infernal children.
The feast was not horrible, but it was insufferably long. I sat at the Slytherin table, at a spot where I could clearly see Lily. This way, I could see her when she was announced at the end, when they congratulated all the students who graduated. Once we were released to leave, I bolted down to my dorm, grabbed my belongings, and went to the entrance hall. There stood Lucius, looking so damn dignified.
“Severus! My dear friend. Let me help you with those.”
This was weird. Lucius never, and I mean never, showed a modicum of affection towards anyone, unless you were in private, and even then, it was highly subdued.
“Um, hello...Lucius. You sure are in a good mood. I mean...I’m happy to see you and all, but...”
“But what?” He beamed
“You’re...um, well...quite jovial this evening”
“Well of course! I get to see one of my favorite people, who I am so proud of. You made it through school, and I’m sure your test grades will come out stupendous. Come along, now. We have much to discuss.”
I nodded and followed Lucius outside, where we took a carriage to Hogsmeade. We got off, and Lucius gave the driver an address to send my things to. He took my hand, and without so much as a warning, we apparated to...well I have no idea where.