Satou isn’t obsessed. He isn’t, even if Ojiro and Hagakure say he is. It’s just that recently he’s noticed that only one person in the entire dorms has never eaten anything he makes, and it’s bothering him. Even Jirou and Sero eat his treats, though he did have to learn how to cook vegan desserts for them.
Bakugou has never eaten a single thing Satou has made and it’s starting to piss him off. It’s not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, really, but Satou loves hearing people react to what he makes. Especially when he tries a new recipe. Look, he knows Bakugou is a great cook, and even if Satou’s only eaten his food twice, he still smells it every day in the dorms and it always smells heavenly. So yeah, he wants to know what Bakugou thinks of his baking. Except he won’t eat anything and Satou’s running out of ideas.
It feels like he's tried everything.
Classic chocolate chip cookies at one of the class movie nights? Bakugou hadn’t even glanced at the tray and sulked on the couch with a bag of kale chips he refused to share.
Candy-filled brownies one Saturday morning when everyone was lazing around the dorms? Bakugou’s only reaction was to call the class rabid animals as they all fought to get a brownie.
Triple chocolate lava cake Satou made because he found the recipe online and wanted to try it? Bakugou had glanced at it in what seemed like disgust before turning his nose up at it and walking away.
The day after Mineta outed him to the whole school, Satou makes a cake a strawberry-flavored cake with a cheesecake filling and chocolate frosting. He's sure Bakugou will like it, because he's been paying attention.
There's a container of strawberries in the fridge labeled with Bakugou's name and several death threats. Some mornings, when Satou's awake early enough, he can see Bakugou eating them for breakfast.
So this is good. This is going to get him to eat Satou's baking, Satou can get over this so-called obsession, and everything's going to move on and be fine.
The only problem is letting him know that it’s a cake specifically for him. Bakugou hates people being nice to him for some reason and will react violently to any perceived slight against him. Satou honestly almost pities Bakugou for it, even if he’ll never openly admit that to anyone, lest it get back to him.
So Satou has to be extremely careful and subtle about letting him know that it’s specifically for him, except, well...
For all of Bakugou’s complete lack of any kind of social skills, he’s actually incredibly capable of reading people and their intentions. Satou’s almost sure that Bakugou could behave like any normal person in a social setting if he wanted to, but he probably just doesn’t care enough to make the effort.
"Hey, Bakugou, I know you like strawberries and all, so do you want a piece of this cake?" Satou asks. "Especially after a rough day like..."
“You think you have any right to fuckin’ pity me, asshole?” Bakugou roars, and then he’s off on a curse-filled tangent that Satou can’t even hope to follow.
Kirishima, Ashido, and Kaminari seem content to let Bakugou scream at Satou, distracted by the cake that’s supposed to be a feel-better gift for the blond that’s currently yelling at a volume Satou thinks Present Mic would be jealous of.
It takes only a few minutes for Bakugou to calm down this time, and Satou is really proud of how far the blond has come since the beginning of the year, but then, just as it seems like Bakugou is done, Todoroki walks into the kitchen.
Of course it's Todoroki. Of course it's one of the only two people who can set off Bakugou's temper by doing nothing but existing in the same room as him. Because life just feels like pissing Bakugou off and in turn, annoying the rest of class 1A. It figures.
“Icyhot, you piece of shit!” Bakugou roars, whirling to face him.
“Ah, hello, Bakugou,” Todoroki says placidly as he approaches the fridge with a small frown. “You seem upset about something.”
Bakugou screams something incomprehensible, snatching the paper plate Kaminari had just finished placing a slice of cake on.
“Hey, Kacchan!” Kaminari whines, reaching for the plate. "Get your own!"
Satou holds his breath, watching Bakugou closely—
He chucks the entire plate and slice of cake at Todoroki’s head.
Todoroki barely manages to dodge it, and the plate collides cake-first at the wall behind his head.
“Fuckin’ strawberry shortcake ass motherfucker!” Bakugou yells, storming out of the kitchen.
Satou frowns, looking sadly at the cake that had exploded on contact with the wall and is now breaking off into pieces and falling to the floor.
“We’ve been classmates for a while, Satou. You should know by now he doesn’t take well to kindness, especially since he sees it as pity,” Kirishima says, taking a bite of his slice of cake before pushing the paper plate to sit between him and Kaminari. “This is really good!"
Kaminari grins brightly at Kirishima, picking up his fork and taking a bite of the slice between them. “Yeah, he’s got some issues,” he declares plainly.
"You were being really nice, Satou, but you made it really obvious," Ashido says, frowning as she cuts her own slice of cake.
Todoroki looks just as confused as Satou feels, staring at the pieces of cake on the floor.
He's still thinking about it the next day.
"You gotta get over this," Hagakure says, leading him and Ojiro back to their lunchtable. "Or at least just man up and ask him what kind of desserts he likes."
"That's going to go over really well with the boy who refused to tell everyone a hobby of his during the icebreaker game on the first day of class," Ojiro says blandly as they sit down.
"You spar with him a lot, right? Does he bring any kind of snacks with him?" Satou asks.
Ojiro frowns. "No? He brings water and those gross kale chips," he states.
"Maybe he just doesn't like sweets," Hagakure says.
Satou shakes his head. "No. Everyone likes sweets. We just have to find out what kinds," he says, pausing to think it over.
Ojiro raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything, instead turning to listen to whatever celebrity gossip Hagakure started talked about.
Why hasn't Bakugou eaten anything he made? There's been a really diverse selection over the past few months, thinking back. Cakes, cookies, brownies...
All of those recipes had chocolate in them, didn't they? Maybe Bakugou just doesn't like chocolate. Fine, he can work around that.
Back at the dorms, he decides that everyone needs a pick-me-up. The English test today was brutal enough that Kaminari and Ashido are crying in the common room, Jirou's been complaining about a migraine, Todoroki's gone quiet again, and Iida has been really distracted all day.
He pulls the plain vanilla cake out of the oven and sets it on a rack to cool down before he ices it.
He finishes making the frosting just before the cake is cooled down enough to frost it.
Bringing it out to the common room is the fun part, because he gets to watch Kaminari and Ashido vault themselves over the couch and smack their faces against the floor as they wrestle to get to the cake first.
“Satou, you’re the best!” Kaminari declares, hopping up quickly enough that he stumbles but approaches the dining table.
“This was so thoughtful, Satou!” Yaoyorozu compliments.
Satou grins proudly and begins cutting the cake, making sure everyone gets even sized slices. By the time his eighteenth classmate gets their slice, he realizes Bakugou isn’t around, so he glances up to see what the blond is doing.
Only to see Bakugou standing in the doorway of the kitchen, glaring at the class with a jar of Thai chiles in his hand. He pulls one out of the jar and bites it like it’s a piece of fruit.
“What the hell,” Satou can’t help but say, staring dumbly at Bakugou, who’s still munching on the pepper.
Ojiro, standing the closest to Satou, glances up and follows his gaze to Bakugou. A look of total disgust crosses Ojiro’s face. “Bakugou, are you—is that a chile?”
The entire class turns to stare at Bakugou with various expressions of disgust, amazement, and horror.
“Dynamite, what the fuck?” Ashido nearly yells, gagging.
“We’re having cake, man! You should have some!” Kirishima declares.
Satou holds his breath. If anyone can convince Bakugou to have a slice, it’s Kirishima. Maybe Ashido, Kaminari, and Sero, depending on Bakugou’s mood. But Kirishima is still the most reliable when it comes to corralling Bakugou.
Bakugou just glares back as he pops another chile in his mouth. “I’m not fucking eating that trash,” he states.
“Hey! Satou’s a great baker!” Kaminari says around a mouthful of cake, shaking his fist in Bakugou’s direction.
“Yeah, be nice, Bakugou!” Sero scolds.
“I don’t fucking care,” Bakugou says, turning and storming off.
He’d heard from Hagakure that Bakugou has a rich family, so maybe he just has fancy tastes like Yaoyorozu does. So he tries fancier desserts.
Tiramisu with matcha? Bakugou glances at the dish before scoffing and turning back to his book.
Lemon raspberry cupcakes? Kirishima offers to feed it to Bakugou, but he just sends a tiny explosion in Kirishima’s direction before leaving the room.
Cherry pie? Bakugou had glanced at it but left the dorms yelling about seeing a doormat.
Strawberry basil macarons? Bakugou had absolutely no reaction and instead let everyone else go crazy about it.
Tropical mille feuille? Aoyama loved it and asked for Satou to make it more often, and all Bakugou had done was pull off a piece of mango from Kirishima’s plate before disappearing.
This is a last resort, Satou tells himself as he sits down across from Midoriya in the school library.
“What kind of desserts does Bakugou like?” Satou asks.
Midoriya sputters, glancing up from his textbook. “What?”
Satou sighs. “Listen. I’ve noticed that Bakugou has never eaten anything I make. Nothing. I just want to know what he likes.”
“Kacchan doesn’t like sweets,” Midoriya says eventually, frowning sympathetically.
“What.” Satou stares at him.
“Yeah, he’s always been a really healthy eater, even when were kids. He used to get sick whenever he came over and had any junk food.”
Satou buries his face in his hands. “So I’ve been trying to make something he likes and you’re telling me that he doesn’t even like sweets?” he asks.
Midoriya offers a sympathetic smile. “Sorry, Satou. It’s really nice that you wanted to find something that Kacchan likes. He likes spicy food.”
"Huh," Satou says, then remembers a recipe he'd heard of months ago. "That's helpful. Thank you, Midoriya."
"Hey, wait, there's..."
But Satou doesn't pay attention, leaving the library. He has research to do.
Satou thinks he’s finally got it. He’d researched for days and found a recipe for brownies with chiles in it.
Bakugou is gonna like this, he decides, pulling the brownie tray out of the oven and sets it on the kitchen island.
“Ooh, brownies?” Ashido asks, appearing in the kitchen.
“Let them cool!” Satou scolds, tossing a hand towel at her as she reaches forward.
“Ah! Fine. Call me when they’re cooled down?” she asks.
“Yeah, bring Bakugou around—I think he’ll like this one,” Satou says.
Ashido raises a curious eyebrow, but nods. “Alright.”
Ten minutes and a text to Ashido later, Ashido and Kirishima are dragging a snarling Bakugou into the kitchen, Todoroki trailing behind them.
“Come on, Bakugou,” Kirishima is saying. “Be nice for once and eat what Satou made!”
“Yeah, Dynamite, Satou specifically said you’d like this one!” Ashido tells him, grinning.
Bakugou stops struggling in their grasps, glaring at the brownie pan. “What the fuck is this shit? You tryin’ to fuckin’ poison me, asshole?” he starts yelling, reaching forward and pulling on Satou’s shirt.
Satou blinks. “What?”
“Bakugou is allergic to chocolate,” Todoroki says, like this isn’t brand new information and it isn’t totally confusing why Todoroki of all people would know that.
“That must be what Midoriya tried to tell me,” Satou says, mostly to himself, forgetting exactly who he’s talking to.
“Fuckin’ Deku’s been running his goddamned mouth about me again?” Bakugou yells, letting Satou go before he bursts into a run out of the kitchen. "DEKU! WE'RE FUCKING SPARRING RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, SHITHEAD!"
"Bakugou, no!" Kirishima yells, immediately running after his best friend.
“How did you know he’s allergic to chocolate?” Ashido asks, looking curiously at Todoroki.
Todoroki blinks. “He told me,” he says.
Satou sighs, glancing down at the chocolate chile brownies he'd made specifically because he thought Bakugou would like them. It's a shame he won't be able to eat them.
But hey, the last time Kaminari ate something spicy he shorted himself out.
"Hey, these brownies have chiles in them. Tell Kaminari to get over here and we won't tell him that they're spicy," Satou says.
A feral grin reminiscent of Bakugou spreads across Ashido's face. "Let's do it."