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No one really Knows me

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Chapter 1: Where it all Started
“I sit here and I wonder, how did I get here? I’m sixty years old. How did I even live that long? I should have been dead years ago but yet here I am. I honestly don’t know if I deserve to be here. I’ve done some horrible things but I wasn’t always bad. I wasn’t.”
“I know you weren’t. You aren’t a bad person.”
“Bet you didn’t know I had a brother and a sister.”
“I didn’t. I’ve known you for a very long time and you never talk about your past. Tell me about it. Please.”
“You sure you want to know the story of one Alex Krycek?”
“As I just said, please tell me. Nothing you tell me is going to change how I feel about you. I love you no matter what. Now, please tell me.”
“Get comfy. It’s going to be a long tough ride.”

My parents were Cold War Immigrants. They were born and raised in Russia. They loved it there. They married in St. Petersburg. They weren’t rich but weren’t poor either. My mother got pregnant with my bother shortly after they married. Seeing how things were, they decided to leave Russia and move to the United States. My brother Mikhail was born not long after they arrived here.
When he was three, my mother got pregnant with my sister. When Natalia was born, my parents were thrilled. They had one of each. I know it’s weird that I know this but I’ve heard enough stories to know it’s true. They lived in a two bedroom apartment in New York. Things seemed good for them. Father had a good job. It was the sixty’s. Mikhail was seven and Natalia was four when I came into the picture.
I was the baby. I also was an accident. I was told many times by my brother that no one wanted me. One would think that the baby of the family would get loads of attention but that was not the case. Little Alexei was alone. My parents focused on my siblings more then me. No one paid a damn bit of attention to me. I was left to my own devices.
I wasn’t a bad kid. I didn’t get into trouble much. When I was six, Mikhail and I were in the backyard and he decided it would be cool to hit his younger brother with a piece of tree from the yard. I had cuts all over me. I got in trouble for bleeding on my mother’s towels. He got off without any punishment. It was always that way.
I was a pretty good student. Mostly B”s graced my report cards. Natalia was a horrible student. She never did homework or studied but she was praised for being the pretty girl, the middle child and the only girl. I studied my ass off to get those grades but no one praised me not even the teachers. It wasn’t right.
Mikhail moved out at seventeen after fighting with my parents about curfew. My father spent more time at work then home. He refused to deal with what happened. My mother shut off from the world. That left my sister in charge but she was too busy having a life. I guess you can say, in a way I understand where Mulder came from. Neither of us had warm cozy parents that loved us. I have my doubts regarding my parents. I do believe my parents knew how to love. They loved each other and my siblings just not me.
Natalia graduated and moved away shortly after with a man she loved. My parents didn’t approve but she was a free spirit and did whatever she wanted. Natalia did what she thought was best for her. I’m like that in a lot of ways. Having no one that cared about you tends to make you act that way. I couldn’t wait to get out on my own.
I started working as a bag boy when I was fourteen. I hated it but it got me out of the house so I didn’t have to deal with what was happening there. My folks weren’t on the best of terms after my sister took off. They fought a lot, mainly because their children left them. They still had me but the golden ones were gone. I worked as much as I could even on holidays which pissed my mother off.
Despite everything, my mother loved the holidays. Christmas was her favorite. We all dressed our best for mass on Christmas Eve. Yes, Alexei went to mass. Christmas morning, we’d all gather at the table and have breakfast before heading to open presents. We didn’t have a ton but we had enough. One year, we all got new bikes. Our stockings always were filled with treats and candy. Dinner was the big deal. The last Christmas we were all together was the best. My mother made a goose with apples, roasted potatoes and carrots. We always had pirogi and kalachi. Dessert was a feast as well. Berries, biscuits, angel wings and we drank kompot. It was the best day. I loved Christmas. I stopped enjoying it years and years ago. I only enjoy it now because of you, Nikolai, Amaliya and Kira. I’ve gotten some of that back.
The next few years went by quickly. I saved all the money I could so I could get out of there. I needed to. I couldn’t handle it anymore. The tension had gotten pretty bad. Without even telling my parents, I started looking for colleges away from New York. Maryland in Virginia were looking good to me. I applied to Virginia State University and Bowie State University in Maryland. I got into both so I had to make a choice. I decided to go to VSU. I liked it better. I only told my parents after I decided to go there. My father didn’t seem to care but my mother cried. Deep down I think my mother did love me more then she showed.
The next thing I needed to do was find a place to live. I figured I’d live in the dorms but then I’d need a place after the school year ended anyway. So, that was that. I needed an apartment and a cheap one. Things were looking up when I found out my grandmother, that passed years before had set up a trust of sorts for when I turned eighteen. That was the money I needed to get on with my life.
I graduated high school in June. By mid-July, I was packing up and moving to Virginia. I found a small, cheap one bedroom apartment not that far from campus. I had my run down piece of shit car but it drove me to work and classes. College was when I decided to go by Alex and not Alexei. It was a fresh start for me.
The first month I was there was crazy. I moved in and got a job. I worked at a little law firm a few blocks from the apartment. I just typed up notes and letters. It sucked worse then bagging groceries but it gave me some pocket money and got me in the door of what I hoped to do one day. I did all the new student crap. It was pretty boring but I had to do it. I had no idea what the hell I wanted to major in or what I wanted to do with my life. I figured basic classes would be a good start.
In my public speaking class, there was this girl. She was this mystery to me. I hadn’t really dated much in high school. No one really showed any interest in me. I had gone out a few times with this one girl but that was it. But, this girl in class was something else. We quickly became friends. I never had many but she didn’t seem to care about my past. A few weeks after classes started, we began dating.
We dated the whole first semester. After the Christmas break, we picked up where we left off. She was my first. I really loved her. That Easter, I brought her home to meet my family. My brother and sister weren’t coming but I was. During my time away, my mother reached out and we began to get close. I really loved my mother.
To my surprise, they liked Sara. My mother pulled out all the stops to impress her. She lined the dinner table with kulich, kulebiaka, horseradish and beets, lamb, potatoes, carrots and eggs. Dessert wasn’t much better. We had pashka and a few other cakes and candies. I only remember it for two reasons; neither of them happy ones. About a month after, my mother called. My father died in an accident at work. I went home for the funeral but was soon back in classes. Sara thought I needed to grieve more but I disagreed. We broke up not long after.
I spent the next year or so focusing on my classes. I found myself interested in of all things law and crime. I wasn’t smart enough for law school but I figured I could do something like transporting criminals or transcribing stuff. I studied like hell. I was damn good at it too.
I was just entering my junior year when I got a call from my sister that I hadn’t heard or seen in years. My mother was sick. She was dying. I took a few days off and drove home. We weren’t really close but she was my mother and I loved her despite it all. Mom passed away that fall. Everything was packed up and stored. I took a few items but that was it. I went right back to classes. I was alone in the world. Yet again. I handled it before and I would do it again.
The end of my junior year was a turning point for me. I was walking the street when I saw a sign for something that was going to change my life. On a billboard, was a recruitment for the FBI. The FBI. Did I really want to try for that? Did I want to apply? Would they even accept me? Why would they? I was nothing special. I was just Alex Krycek.
After some careful thinking and some vodka, I decided to go get an application and apply to Quantico. I wanted to do something with my life. Now, I still had a year left of college but my goal was to get in once I graduated. I had no other plan for my life so if this didn’t work, I was stuck as a glorified secretary. I filled out the application, wrote the entrance letter they make you write. I studied my ass off to get my grades even higher. I needed a future.
My senior year flew by. Exams were a bitch. I hadn’t heard from my siblings since my mother died. I didn’t need them. I didn’t need anyone or so I thought. I told myself I was better off alone but the truth was, I wanted someone to want me. I never had that but I heard enough about it to know it was something I missed out on having my whole life. Maybe it was too late but I had to hope it wasn’t.
A few weeks before graduation, I received a letter from Quantico. They wanted to meet with me and go over my application. Well, they were either going to kick me to the curb or accept me to the academy. Either way, I was scared shitless and that is not something that happens to Alex Krycek. I went out and bought a black suit. I had to look good and if not I had a suit for graduation, not that anyone was going to be there to see me anyway.
The day of my interview, I was shaking. I hardly slept the night before. I was nervous as hell. I was a bit early but ready as I was ever going to be. I sat there and waited. Before long, I was greeted by an administrator and taken into his office.
“Mr. Krycek, I’ll get right to the point. I’ve looked over your application and your transcripts. Those are good.”
“Good, Sir?”
“Yes, they are by far not the greatest but not the worst. I do like that you have taken some Criminology courses and work at the law firm. Those would be helpful if you were accepted.”
“Thank you, Sir. I find it fascinating.”
“Why the FBI? Why not join the police department?”
“I have to be honest, sir. As I said in my letter, I’m first generation here. My parents left Russia for a better life. I don’t want their move to be for nothing. I’m the only one of my siblings to have attended college. I want to make something out of myself. I want to help people. This is my chance to do that. This is hard to admit but the FBI I a family and I want to be a part of that family. I wasn’t close with my family and I don’t have a family. I want to be apart of a family. I want to belong.”
The admissions guy just sat there for a moment before speaking.
“Mr. Krycek, I applaud your honesty. I like honest. From what I see here, I’d like to offer you the chance to show us what you’ve got. It won’t be easy but I think you’ve got what it takes.”
“Thank you, Sir. I really appreciate it. Thank you for this opportunity.”
I graduated college a few weeks later. No one was there. My parents were gone and my siblings didn’t care enough. I was the first Krycek to get a college diploma. I did it and with no one’s help but mine.
I swore that day, if I ever had a family of my own, I would support them in anyway I could. I’d love them and be there for them when they succeeded or failed. I just hope that Nikolai, Amaliya and Kira know that.
“They do. We all know how much you love us.”
Thank you. So after graduation, I packed up my apartment and moved about two hours away to be closer to the academy. I found another place rather quickly which was nice. I enjoyed the summer by preparing for what was to come. I started running at the local park and did a summer program at a gym to build myself up before I started the training program. I knew it would change my life but I had no idea it would turn out like it did.

Chapter Text

I was beyond excited to start my training. I knew the eight hundred hours of training was going to be grueling but I was ready. I wanted to know everything I could. I was determined to be the best I could. They believed in giving me a chance where no one else ever had and I was not going to let them down.
I had never been exposed to weapons before. We were not a gun family. My mother was deathly afraid of them and refused to let us near one. She’s probably rolling over in her grave right now knowing what her little Alexei could do and has done with a gun. Sorry mom. They pack a lot of information in that twenty-eight session training. I enjoyed it but didn’t love it. I remember one of the first classes where they were teaching us safety. I was trying soo hard not to shake as I was holding that SIG-Sauer P228. I was pretty good at it once I got over the fears I had. One would never guess that Alex Krycek had a small fear of guns.
The physical training was the worst. Not worst, hardest. They ran us through the rigor on that. Even after training and such was done for the day, I was working out. We had to do sit-ups and well I sucked at first but every day I did planks, bird dogs and hip lifts to build up the strength I needed to do them.
The 300-meter sprint wasn’t bad. I enjoyed running. I just did the stretches and some hip drives, arm drives and leg cranks to build up the muscles. I was pretty good at running which came in handy all the times I had to run for my life. I wasn’t as good as Nikolai but I could run. Like I said that skill paid off.
“Yes, but now you are using that skill to help Nikolai with his cross-country training.”
I am and it will come in handy when I have to chase the boys away from my girls.
“Now, Alexei, the girls will be fine. We are raising them well and must trust their judgement.”
I know but I know what kind of men are out there and I don’t want them near my daughters.
“I understand.”
Good. Push-ups came pretty easy to me as well but I still trained my ass off. I did the core development training. It really helped. It didn’t take me long to be comfortable enough that I knew I could do what was needed. The last thing was a 1.5 mile run. Once again, not a big deal. I wanted to be the best I could be. I trained like before. Those were four were needed to pass the physical requirements. Of course there was more which I did. Pull-ups I hated. Guess now it doesn’t matter with only one arm. We ran the course and did hand to hand. Yet another skill that would come in handy for me down the road. You needed a minimum score of twelve to pass physical. I ended up with a fourteen. I was very happy with myself.
The class work was what really drew me in. I loved law and ethics. During ethics, we toured the Holocaust Museum. I was fascinated by what I saw. It was the first time I really saw what pure evil could do and looked like. I never imagined at that point I would be a part of something soo evil. I never wanted that.
“You didn’t know that Alexei. No one did. Continue. Please.”
Interviewing and writing reports was alright. I understood the basics. I just wasn’t very good with it. Guess I wasn’t a people person. Not a fan of the forensic stuff. I could handle certain things but not everything. I was a weakling at that point. That obviously changed over the years. Once we started behavioral science, I was once again very intrigued. That was where I first learned of Fox Mulder. He really is a great profiler. We heard all about him helping to catch Monty Props. He was a golden boy except for his belief in the paranormal. We heard all about Spooky Mulder. Others made fun of him but not me. I admired him.
Mulder was in a way what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a shining star to them. I dug up whatever I could on Mulder and found out he was kind of a loner. We had that in common. I had no real friends there. Went out once or twice for a drink with a few guys but that was it. I hadn’t had a girlfriend since Sara either. I got acquainted with myself very well.
Anyway, I excelled at the operational skills. I loved the boxing. We did handcuffing and disarming drills. The surveillance training was interesting. I liked the idea of hiding in plain sight watching someone. I guess that’s why I was good at it as well as learning how to be undercover. I spent years hiding and watching from the shadows. Acting out real life cases was really a great way to learn. Hands on is always better. Helps get the nerves out but nothing prepares you for the real thing. I managed to work well with a few people as I had learned I needed to play well with others. I wanted these guys to have my back in the field. I needed to start trusting them. Slowly we became like family.
By the time graduation rolled around, I was ready to get out there. I wasn’t the one to speak at graduation, luckily. I hate public speaking. I’m good with a small group but not a huge crowd. I had my fingers crossed that I would receive something for my firearms skills. I was one of the best in our class. Much to my surprise, I did. I was soo proud of that damn thing. Only award I ever won too. Graduation day was hard. Like college I had no one there cheering me on as I received my credentials. I swear, I will be there to watch my children graduate. I will not miss a milestone in my children’s lives.
“I know you won’t. You’ll be the loudest proudest one there.”
Most likely. I picked up my badge, gun and ammo before heading out to the celebration. We didn’t have our assignments yet. They were coming. Part of me wanted to stay where I was. I was happy there but I had nothing to hold onto. I’d go wherever they wanted me to.
A week later, I got my assignment. I was to report to the Hoover Building. I was set to change the world. I was to meet Section Chief Blevins when I arrived. I wasn’t ready for what was to come.

Chapter Text

Armed with only my badge and Sig, I went to the Hoover. I thought meeting Blevins was just going to be a quick meeting; here’s where you go. That type of thing. I figured I was going to be in the bullpen doing nothing buy background checks but I was wrong. Not completely wrong but wrong.
I met with him and was assigned to going through surveillance and security videos. Not the most exciting job but I was in so it didn’t matter to me. He informed me that if I did well, in a few weeks or so there was someone he wanted me to meet.
“The Smoking Man?”
Yeah. I did as I was told and did the best I could. True to his word, a few weeks later I was called in again. Blevins started giving me real cases to work. The Smoker wasn’t there that day. This went on for a few months. It was all I did. I’d get up, shower, eat, dress and head to work. I had no friends, no distractions. That’s not to say that I didn’t work well with other agents. I did.
“When did you finally meet him?”
About six months after I started, I met him in Blevins’ office. I wasn’t sure what was going on. I had no clue who he was or what the hell he wanted with me. I later came to understand he wanted me because I was green, a man with nothing to hold him in one place and he could mold me into whatever he wanted.
“What did he want from you?”
He wanted me to get close to Mulder. He wanted him under control. Apparently, he was getting too close for them. To what, I wasn’t told yet. I was handed a file on Mulder and Scully. I still wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with this. Over the next few weeks, I continued to meet with the bastard. Each time, he gave me more information. I was informed that the X-Files were closed and that my time would be coming soon.
My last meeting with him, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to break Mulder, make him stop searching for the truth, for his sister.
“You knew about his sister?”
Yeah. It was in the file they gave me. It just said his sister was missing. I managed to get a look at the case file Mulder opened up on it. He had no idea how close to the truth he was on that. These men didn’t want him to discover the truth and plan. My job was to make sure of that. I was to be their eyes and ears since putting Scully in there didn’t work.
“Scully was part of it?”
Not really. She was assigned by Blevins to debunk his work; to spy on him. They never imagined he’d begin to trust her, confide in her and work with her to find the truth. They never expected that. Mulder trusted no one but himself but yet he trusted her and had to trust me. That was not going to be easy. I just had to play it smooth and calm.
“When did you finally meet Mulder?”
I was at there about a year before I was given the chance. It was my first real case. I’d worked cases before but this was a murder case and my chance to prove myself to them. I was worried about what would happen if I didn’t do what they wanted.
“Did you know what they would do to you?”
At that point, no. I thought maybe some shit assignment or transfer to some no man’s town somewhere. I just wanted to do a good job; have someone give me some praise for busting my ass.
“What case was it?”
Augustus Cole. It started out with Dr. Grissom being found murdered. I opened the case into the mysterious circumstances. I got called into Skinner’s office after Mulder put in the request. Skinner had no choice but to give me the case. I opened it two hours before he did. Someone tipped him off or something. I didn’t know.
I met Mulder transcribing wire taps. He looked miserable. I handed him the file and he was none too pleased that I was the agent of record. Mulder tried to take the case and run with it but I wasn’t letting him get away that easily. This was my chance, give them what they want and move up the latter.
“Is that what they told you? Help them, help your career?”
I thought that’s what they would do. I was working under Blevins. Anyway, Mulder had me go get a car while he finished up but he bailed. I figured out he was at the sleep center where our victim worked. When I got there, he had a cab waiting which I paid. Mulder was pissed when he saw me there. I told him that I didn’t like ‘being ditched like someone’s bad date.’
“How’d he take that?”
He wasn’t happy. He looked stunned that I even said anything to him. I knew I was a green agent but I wasn’t taking his shit. I told him that we heard all about him in the academy. Some people, most made fun of him but I admired him and followed his work because I believed in what he was doing and that there was more out there then just us. That got him a little bit.
“Stroked his ego.”
Of course. A man like Fox Mulder needed that every so often especially with the Files being closed and separated from Scully. She called him with the autopsy on our vic so I got to tag along. I felt like a third wheel in that room. Scully hated me from the moment I walked into her autopsy bay.
When we saw the body, I almost puked. What a wuss. I never could stand the sight of dead bodies. They talked to each other like I wasn’t even there. Those two were in their own world. Scully was on to something as she always was. I knew my job was to watch Mulder but this case did get to me. I wanted to solve it, stop the killings.
I dressed the part of a put together agent and I was. They even gave me contacts I could use as buddies in different areas of law enforcement. It was all to make Mulder believe me. He did too which was more then most people in my life. The case was taking us to New York. I hadn’t been back there since my mother’s funeral but I couldn’t think about that. I needed to focus.
At one point, I actually got Mulder to tell me his wild theory about what was going on. He really is out there but right. The man has a way to figure everything out. It’s crazy. It’s scary how good he really is.
He actually scared me at one point. He started waving his gun around shouting. He actually went down. He was fine physically but mentally, I wasn’t soo sure. He was like that again when we were face to face with our suspect; Augustus Cole. Honey, I swear that he had a gun pointed at Mulder. He was going to kill him.
“Why not let him? Wasn’t the goal to in a way get Mulder out of the way?”
It was but he was to live. I had no orders to let harm come to him. I was just to watch and observe Mulder not let him get hurt. That whole time I had my gun pointed at Cole, I was hoping he’d just drop the gun but he didn’t. I didn’t want to shoot him. I didn’t want to kill him.
“I know, my love. I know. Was that the first time?”
That I shot someone? Yeah. I was in shock. I didn’t want to believe that I killed someone even if the guy was a killer. He had a bible in his hands not a gun. Mulder backed me up in a way. He wrote it up that I believed I saw a gun and what Cole could do. No one was going to come after me but I didn’t know that just yet. I’ve never told anyone this before but I cried that night in the shower. I was soo pissed and upset by what I had done.
I didn’t have much time to cope with what I had done. I was due to meet him. I had to give my first report. I stole the secret files Mulder somehow got ahold of. I didn’t know who gave it to him and I said as much. I also broke into Scully’s office and stole her notes, report and her copy of the files. I handed them over. I had to call him sir. Just saying that makes me want to puke.
“Did you know who he really was? What he was capable of doing?”
Not a clue. I knew he was up to something since we didn’t meet at work but his place of business at the time that is. I just told him what I thought of Mulder.
“Which was?”
That he was a good agent but a pain in the ass. He was a loner who only trusted Scully. I was warned about Agent Scully. They told me to see what I got from them. Being separated only made their bond stronger and more determined to the search of the truth. ‘Scully is a problem, a much larger problem then you described.’ That bastard didn’t even flinch. His response was soo cold something that was just him.
“Oh don’t I know it. What was his response?”
Basically that could be changed. He was plotting something to do to her or against her. I didn’t know what but then again, I wasn’t paid to know. I didn’t know much. They trusted me because I was a loner with good aim. This was the beginning of the end of life as I knew it.

Chapter Text

It was a few weeks, maybe two before I got a message that Agent Mulder was needed for a hostage situation. I had to find him first. He wasn’t in the bullpen or doing his transcribing. I had been watching him for a while now.
“How long did they have you watching him?”
Since they told me my job was to cozy up with him. I didn’t exactly like the idea of doing it. It was one thing to watch a skell but a good FBI agent was something else. I wasn’t comfortable with the idea but I had an order.
I found him down at the FBI pool. He was swimming laps. I got his attention and that fucking ass comes out of the pool wearing a red fucking speedo. Who the hell wears that? Anyway, I informed him he was requested to help with this situation. He wasn’t sure why they wanted him and frankly I didn’t either until I was told the facts.
“Why did they want Agent Mulder?”
The guy, Duane Barry claimed to be an alien abductee. He said they had taken him multiple times and that he had implants in his body because of it. I guess they figured who better to talk to a spook then Spooky himself?
“Was it the aliens or the Smoking Man?”
I don’t know who got him first. I assume it was the two working together. We get to the travel agency and met the negotiators. They gave him the low down on how to talk this guy down of a cliff. If anyone could do it, it was Mulder. He really was good at it. he kept calm.
“Wait, why did Barry take hostages anyway?”
He was in an institution and he took the doc treating him. He stole the guard’s gun. Guy was seriously crazy. He said he was hearing voices, that they were coming for him again. Barry was taking the doc to where he wasn’t sure where so they’d take the doc and not him. Mulder really believed the guy.
I figured things would be easy. Mulder would deal with this, we’d go back to work and things would continue. Problem was, Barry knew the drill. He was former FBI. The norm wasn’t going to work with this guy. Mulder wanted details but none were forthcoming so he called Scully.
“How did you know he called her?”
Well, she’s the only one he would call and the face she called back. I was sent for coffee. They used me as some damn errand boy but he had to call her then. I was out when the shit hit the fan. Mulder traded himself for a wounded hostage. Barry shot one of the hostages when the power went out. There was a huge flash of light. God, it was soon bright. He panicked thinking it was them.
“What was it?”
The official cause was an explosion at an electrical substation. I have my doubts though. Scully called with info for Mulder but he was already inside. I’m surprised she talked to me at all. She wasn’t my biggest fan. There was nothing I could do for her. I wasn’t in charge, hell I’m lucky they let me listen in at all. It was like I wasn’t even there. Kind of felt like old times. Mulder kept the guy talking though. I’ll give him that, he was damn good at his job. Probably helped that he believed the guy.
Scully showed up out of nowhere demanding someone listen to her. No one would. They figured she was just another mouth trying to take their case. Truth be told, if she was there, she had info. She’d protect and help him no matter what. I got them to listen to her. Despite what she thought, I liked her.
“Did she have information to help Agent Mulder?”
She somehow got his records. He was shot in the head during a drug bust gone band. Permanent brain damage causing him to be a liar and a bunch of other things. Mulder was going to need that information. She got into his ear and told him what she knew. Mulder talked the guy down more and got him to release the two female hostages. Tactical was setting up to take their shot. If Mulder had just let them take the kill shot, this whole mess would have been over with but no he had Barry move. Damn him.
Mulder had to make sure that Duane was what Scully said he was and not the alien abductee he thought he was. Whatever went on, Mulder got him in sight and they took the shot but it didn’t kill him. While the docs were treating him, they found implants in his sinus cavity, belly button, damage to his teeth from drills. I saw the medical report and X-rays. Those marks on his teeth were not done by the dentist at the local office. I only saw a picture of the implant but it was something I had never seen before. I was intrigued for sure.
“You had never seen the implants before?”
No, I was still new to them. It’s funny really. When they told me my job was to watch Mulder, I was looking forward to it. I mean the guy is a legend in the academy. I really was eager to learn from him and grow as an agent. Never did get that chance though I did learn from him.
After the whole thing, I had a meeting with the bastard. I told him what I knew. He asked about the implant; where it was. I had no idea. It wasn’t in the evidence I saw. He knew Mulder had it. That’s when he started getting concerned. I found out what that piece of metal really was at that point.
“Tacking device.”
Yeah. Apparently, the doctors put them in these abductees to keep track of them. Each one had some sort of code on it. The work was soo detailed and tiny. The implants aren’t that big. Without it, they couldn’t track Barry but they could track whoever had it. It ended up at the lab with Scully. Mulder must’ve given it to her. They weren’t even working together officially anymore but yet they were.
Anyway, he now knew it was only a matter of time before Mulder knew the truth. That bastard wanted the problem taken care of and for the work to continue. We got word that Duane Barry had escaped the hospital. He hit the guard over the head with a blunt object and somehow made his way to Scully’s apartment. I don’t know who old him but I didn’t. I was still stuck with the smoker.
I wanted out. I was done. It wasn’t worth it anymore. I was living on edge of Mulder finding out.
“But you didn’t leave. Why?”
Natalia.
“Your sister? What does she have to do with Duane Barry and the Smoking Man?”
He knew about her and where she was. I never told anyone about her or my brother. I hadn’t seen them since my mother died. It was in my file but I had no idea where they were or how to get in touch with them if I had to. They weren’t even listed as my emergency contact. I put a neighbor.
“Alexei, what did he do?”
He didn’t do anything. He threatened to. It seems she got herself pregnant by the guy she was with. It wasn’t a stable relationship but it was her life. He had his goons watching her and made it clear that one way or another, he would get what he wanted. I couldn’t let them take my sister and her child. It’s true we weren’t close at all but that didn’t mean I didn’t love her. He was going to kidnap her and take her baby away. If I cooperated with him and my assignments, he’d leave her alone. He’d protect her in a way. What choice did I really have?
“Would he have taken her?”
I don’t know. I couldn’t risk it. She was my sister. I had to deal with him. I had to. That’s one thing Mulder never knew. I understood what it was like to lose family even if we weren’t close.
“What happened?”
Scully was taken from her home by Barry. Mulder heard the whole thing on his answering machine. She was telling him about the code on the implant she had. Mulder was at the crime scene, saw the damage done. Her home was supposed to be safe. It shouldn’t have happened. I was still fighting it then. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. My assignment was to keep an eye on Mulder, see what he knew and report back. That bastard was at the briefing with Skinner after she was taken from her home. I had to sit their while he watched on to make sure I didn’t blow it.
“If he wasn’t there, would you have told them the truth?”
Honesty I don’t know. I didn’t want Scully hurt but I had to think of Natalia as well. I might have given more away. All I told them was Barry believed he was being controlled by aliens and that they were coming to take him again. Mulder’s the one that threw the implant out there as a way he knew where Scully was. It was either that or someone told him. I looked over at the smoker with just my eyes and started to wonder what he was really up to. I was ordered to take Mulder home not that he was going to listen.
I found him later that day in the bullpen listening to the recordings of the hostage situation. He was looking for clues to where he took Scully. In the meantime, Barry shot a cop on a highway in Virginia. Mulder was starting to piece things together, that meant I had a job to do.
“Which was?”
To inform him where Mulder thought Barry had taken Scully. See that stretch of road connected with the Blue Ridge Parkway. Barry kept mumbling about ascending to the stars.
“Skyland Mountain.”
Bingo. Of course, Mulder didn’t want anyone to know where we were going, including Skinner. He was determined to be her knight in shining armor. I called the cancer man while waiting for him at the car and informed him. Orders were to not let Mulder get to the top of the mountain. I told him that I would hold him off until they located her. Easier said then done with a man on a mission. He almost got us killed driving there. He was falling asleep at the wheel.
When get there and the tram operator told us Barry was there and he sent him to the mountain via the back road. The tram was down for the summer. Mulder, flashes his gun and gets him to run the tram. That dumb ass locked me out of it. he insisted on doing it himself. Just what I didn’t need at the moment. How was I going to do my job if I wasn’t with him? I was going to have to get smart and creative.
Mulder did not want that tram to stop for anything until he was at the top. Part of me was saying let him do it. Let Mulder get to the top of the mountain. Barry had a good head start on us so it was possible he could get to the top before Mulder did. The other part said just follow your damn orders Alex and shut up. You know they’ll hurt your sister if you don’t.
“You were torn.”
Yeah. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I’m not that guy.
“I know my love. I know. You were in a horrible situation. You did what you could and had to do.”
I know. It still doesn’t make me feel any better about what I had to do. Mulder got really close to the top and I had to stop him. I hit the tram operator over the head with my gun and stopped the tram before phoning the bastard. I was to await his further instructions. Not that it would be easy. Mulder climbed out of the tram and on to the roof. He was going to climb his way to her. He was going to get himself killed. I don’t know why I did what I did but I did it.
“What did you do? You weren’t given new orders, were you?”
I wasn’t. I had to think quick. I hit the power button for the tram. It started moving, he almost fell off. I almost killed him and for what? He made it though but he was too late. He found Scully’s car empty. Barry and Scully were gone. A bright light and noises appeared. They were from an unmarked chopper. Barry appeared before that and Mulder had him but he freaked out with the lights and sounds.
“Ours?”
I think so. Search and rescue choppers did appear and find them on the mountain. They were brought to the Skyland Mountain office or lodge I guess it was. Barry was treated for some injury and was left with Mulder. He was going to get find out where Scully was of it killed him. I think that’s what the old man wanted at the time. After a few minutes Mulder came storming out of the room. He was losing it. he hadn’t slept since she was taken.
Barry must’ve said something because Mulder was on edge. He actually asked if I was alone out in the hall which I was. It was too dangerous for anyone to be there, I figured out. Mulder went to get some air or something. I went to go check on Barry. I had to know what he saw, what he was telling Mulder. Well. He gets back and is now pissed as hell that I was in there talking to Duane. He pulls me out of the room and starts lacing in to me about being in there. The guy was choking. What was I supposed to do? I had orders that no one but him was to go in there but him.
I didn’t have to do anything else because Skinner showed up and he was pissed. Mulder went against a direct order. Skinner was getting ready to tear him a new one when all hell broke loose. Barry died in front of us. Official cause was death due to lack of oxygen and a crushed something. I don’t really remember. Military took over and tox results were withheld.
“What aren’t you telling me about your time in that room with Duane Barry?”
He was given a little something to make him not a threat.
“Alexei?”
I didn’t know it was going to kill him. You think I enjoyed taken his life? That man was mentally unstable and was taken advantage of by higher powers for their own selfish reasons.
“I never said you enjoyed it or that you wanted it to happen. I’m just assuming you were following orders. No one what happened was your fault. That bastard is the reason everything happened. Not you.”
I know and I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m sorry. It just gets to me.
“I understand. It’s alright.”
When we were done at Skyland, we were sent back to D.C. I had a meeting to get to. He was in my car when I got down to the parking garage. He even smoked in it. I was trying to keep my cover. Having butts wasn’t going to help since I don’t smoke. I needed to give my report to Skinner about what happened at Skyland. I was told to confirm Mulder’s version of events. I’ll tell you that conversation with him scared me. It was truly the moment I knew I was done.
“You’ve earned his trust object now is to preserve it.”
“For how much longer?”
“Until your assignment is completed.”
“If Mulder is such a threat, why not eliminate him?”
“That’s not policy.”
“It’s not? After what you had me do.”
“Kill Mulder and you risk turning one man’s religion into a crusade.”
“What about Scully?”
“We’ve taken care of that.”
“How?”
“We tell you only what you need to know.”
“I think I have a right to know.”
“You have no rights only orders to be carried out. You have a problem with that, we’ll make other arrangements.”
He just left the car after that. God, he scared me with that. First off, I had no clue what I had gotten myself into. Second, what the hell did they do to Scully and third, what would they do to me if I didn’t keep following orders?
I sat in the car composing myself for a while. I couldn’t go see Skinner as rattled as I was. I would’ve spilled my guts figuratively or literally. I needed to get it together first. I sat there for a good twenty minutes before I thought I was good to go. A quick stop in the bathroom to freshen up and I was good to start that report.
I gave it to Skinner and did what a good boy would do. I followed my orders. I knew at that moment, I could never go back. There would be no Agent Krycek anymore. My dream was over. After my meeting with Skinner, I went back to work. Had to keep up the cover. Mulder was called in for his meeting. I saw the old man go in before he got there.
“What would he do during these meetings?”
He would just sit on Skinner’s little couch or a chair in the corner of the room. He never spoke. He’d just give looks and smokes. I didn’t know at the time what Mulder said in the meeting. I found out later that he thought Barry was poisoned which of course he was. After the meeting, we were both to go take lie detector tests but Mulder wanted nothing to do with it. He took my car keys and took off.
“Where would he go?”
To get information about Scully. He had a source that was killed but rumors were he had another. He was also chummy with a senator. That’s not the worst. After I met with the old man, with all that I forgot about the cigarette butts in the car ashtray. Mulder had the car. I was screwed.
“What did you do?”
I contacted him. He wasn’t pleased but it was like he did it on purpose. It was part of his grand plan. He pulled me out of the office. Just like that. I had to disappear. I was told to leave my apartment and he gave me a place to stay. I was totally under his control. I had no other options. That night, I found out that Skinner reopened the X-Files. Things were going to get interesting now.