It had been exactly two weeks since Yoongi had confessed to Jimin, and exactly a week since he'd last seen him.
Not that Jimin had been avoiding him or anything, he'd just gone to spend some time with his family. Besides that, Yoongi thinks his confession went pretty well.
He and Jimin had been best friends for a long time, and somewhere between discovering his sexuality and realising Jimin is exactly his type, Yoongi had fallen for him. It hadn't felt like he'd expected, no grand revelation followed by a dramatic breakdown. It was much more like: watching his best friend dribble soup down his chin at a sleepover, smiling fondly and realising he'd do anything to make Jimin happy.
What had prompted Yoongi to confess had been equally as underwhelming. They'd been cuddled up watching a movie in Yoongi's bed and Jimin was clinging to his back, playing with the short hairs at the base of Yoongi's neck and mumbling about something. He'd leant in, planted a kiss in a place Yoongi had cut when he'd shaved and then returned to playing. Yoongi had blurted out an “I love you, you know?” and Jimin, taking things in his stride as he always did, had simply replied; "I know" and kissed Yoongi once more.
It wasn't obvious to Yoongi what this meant, but he figured if Jimin had wanted them to be together, he would have said something, and he hadn't.
Yoongi, despite being technically rejected, wasn't really upset about this. Jimin had remained as close as he'd always been, and as long as he's by Jimin's side, he's okay.
It's raining when Yoongi wakes up, he pulls back the curtain and smiles. It had moved into autumn, his favourite season, and today Jimin would be coming home. They'd planned to stay in and watch movies, just wanting to be in each others company for a while.
Yoongi showers, pulls on a sweater and combs his hair. By the time he's done, Jimin is letting himself into Yoongi's apartment and throwing himself into Yoongi's arms.
'Missed you,' he murmurs, face pressed against Yoongi's shoulder.
'I missed you too,' Yoongi says in return, squeezing Jimin impossibly close. They had barely talked this week, apart from a few phone calls and quick texts, so it feels comforting to have him so close again.
'Felt like I wasn't... whole the entire week.'
Yoongi silently agrees.
Jimin catches him up on some holiday stories and then they climb into Yoongi's bed, turning on the tv and cuddling close, nose to nose so they can continue talking. Jimin is wearing one of Yoongi's hoodies, but it smells like the washing powder he uses, like lavender and fresh cotton.
'So you had a good time?' Yoongi asks, playing with Jimin's fingers.
'Yeah. It was nice spending time with family, my brother and I talked a lot.'
'That's good, you're always saying that you miss him.' Jimin nods a little, face breaking into a smile.
'He said he's gonna come visit when he's settled in his new place!' Yoongi smiles in return, glad Jimin is happy.
'And your parents? They're okay?' Yoongi’s known Jimin's parents for a long time; they often treated him as an extension of their own family.
'Yes! It was good to see my dad relax, and my mum said she was happy, they do keep asking me when I’m gonna bring someone home though.’ Jimin sighs. This had always been a point of contention within his family, ‘they just expect me to have a proper long term boyfriend, even though I’ve explained that I don’t want that.’ Jimin seems frustrated by this fact but he shuffles closer, reaching his hands up to cup Yoongi's face. 'Most of all, I missed you though.'
'Lame, I was living my life whilst you were gone.' Jimin scoffs at that and jabs Yoongi's cheek. 'Getting drunk every night, going to parties-.'
'Oh shut up, you were watching lame romantic comedies and sending me sappy texts.' He drops his hands to Yoongi's waist, squeezing and kneading the skin there. It makes Yoongi shiver, that action having never felt more intimate than it does right now. He tries to shake it off, to focus on replying to Jimin but it isn't easy.
'Me? Min Yoongi? Sappy?' Yoongi sighs indignantly, unable to stop the smile that spreads over his face when Jimin grins, there's a cheekiness behind it, and Yoongi worries for his own sanity.
'Just say you missed me, that your life wasn't complete without me that-.' Jimin lists, each word accompanied by a squeeze of Yoongi's sides. It feels good to be this close to Jimin again, it feels natural.
'Okay, okay,' Yoongi giggles, 'I missed you Jiminie, my life is meaningless without you. You are the light-.'
Yoongi is unable to finish because Jimin is tickling him, rolling over so he can straddle Yoongi and dig his tiny fingers right into his sides. Yoongi is very ticklish, he laughs so hard it hurts and he writhes beneath Jimin, trying to escape his grip.
Jimin leans forward, pressing his face against Yoongi's neck, still tickling him, but making the action far more intimate with how close they are. His hands slow, moving with more intent and tickle over his chest, back down to his tummy and dipping as low as the waistband to Yoongi's sweatpants . He can barely breathe, because of laughter, and because Jimin has never done anything like this before.
'Hyung, I missed you,' he keeps repeating, a whiny lilt to his voice that makes goosebumps rise on Yoongi's skin. 'Missed you.'
'Jiminie-.' Yoongi tries, but his voice falters, cut off by another sharp dig to his sides. Jimin sits up, and his eyes are dark and determined. Yoongi has never seen him like this before. He stops tickling and leans back in, nuzzling Yoongi's neck with his nose.
Yoongi pretends to steady Jimin, holding him by his hips, but really he just wants some semblance of control over the situation. The room feels too warm, and it's all a little overwhelming, how quickly the atmosphere had changed from teasing to something more.
Jimin’s hands are lower now, gripping tight to Yoongi's hips, and Yoongi has to bite his lip to stop himself from letting go. It seems clear that Jimin wants something, but they'd never spoken about this, never let their tickle fights become anything more than innocent despite the many occasions both of them had gotten turned on by all of the skin on skin contact. Yoongi thinks maybe it's just the separation, and them being apart for so long, suddenly thrust back together has Jimin wanting even more intimacy.
'Hyung.' Jimin murmurs, lips hot and ghosting against Yoongi's neck. It feels nice, it makes him wonder how it might feel if Jimin were to do so with more purpose.
'Yes?' Yoongi manages, a shake in his voice he hadn't quite expected. He berates himself internally, yelling that he needs to get it together, stop whatever's going on.
'I want-.' Jimin starts, cutting himself off with a frustrated whine. 'I don't know I just-.'
He grinds his hips downwards, meeting Yoongi's halfway and moaning against his skin. Jimin is half hard, and he can't seem to stop the pull of his body against Yoongi's. But Yoongi thinks he understands, and he wants it too, regardless of if they stopped now, he thinks that whatever happens is going to change their friendship forever, and perhaps he doesn't mind.
Jimin moves again, searching for Yoongi's lips. They'd kissed before, it isn't anything new, but with Jimin instigating it, and with their current positions, Yoongi thinks he's just about ready to astral project when Jimins lips meet his. It's messy and uncoordinated and they bump noses at least three times but it's fitting, for how messy everything else is too. Jimins hips are bouncing up and down, rolling forward and creating as much friction as possible between them. It feels good, Yoongi wants more but it's enough to have him fully erect and gasping for air.
When Jimin stops kissing him, he moves to Yoongi's neck, nipping lightly and kissing the skin there. Yoongi feels useless, completely overwhelmed and sure that if he tries to do anything remotely sexy, he'll just mess up and look like an idiot.
Jimin sits up a little, using Yoongi's shoulder as an anchor to grind his hips slower, at a better angle that has him whining and moaning. It's hard for Yoongi not to cum just from the sounds he makes, but it seems Jimin is already close, he squeezes Yoongi's shoulder, uses his other hand to tangle with Yoongi's and cums in his underwear with a stuttered moan. Yoongi cums soon after, unravelling at the sight of Jimins pleasure.
They fall away, laying next to each other and gasping in air. Yoongi's mind is moving at a hundred miles an hour, thinking about everything they'd just done, what it means and why it happened. Jimin sighs, seemingly content and cuddles back against Yoongi's side.
'I'll clean myself up in a minute,' he murmurs, 'you good?'
'Yeah- yeah I'm just-.' Yoongi doesn't know what to say. 'I'm good.' Jimin giggles, leaving a sloppy kiss against Yoongi's shoulder.
When he stands, he grabs a pair of Yoongi's underwear from his drawers and heads into the bathroom, leaving Yoongi staring after him, his jaw slack and face riddled with bemusement.
Yoongi doesn’t know what had just happened, but he knows he’s embarrassed and confused and feels strange about the whole thing. Jimin had been his friend forever, and Yoongi had always been able to read him, but right now, after what they’d just done, he has no clue what it is that Jimin could be thinking.
When he gets back, he plops onto the bed with a smile and Yoongi takes himself to the bathroom to clean the stickiness between his legs.
Yoongi stares at his reflection in the mirror and lets out a sigh. His hair is disheveled and his cheeks are red, along his collar bone are small red marks, left by Jimins lips and teeth. They would fade quickly, but Yoongi doesn’t think he’ll forget how they feel anytime soon.
When Yoongi enters the room again, Jimin is leaning back against the headboard, checking something on his phone. Yoongi sits on the bed, a little in front, and Jimin instantly reaches out.
‘Hyung, you okay?’ Jimin murmurs, dragging a hand slowly down Yoongi's back.
Yoongi glances back, and Jimin is smiling, his cheeks bunched up and nearly covering his eyes, so Yoongi knows that he’s content.
‘Yeah, I’m okay.’ Yoongi smiles in return, relaxing, he lays back down and Jimin curls right up in his arms. They fit together perfectly.
Yoongi walks Jimin home the following morning and wonders if he should say anything, he’s almost about to when Jimin kisses him on the cheek and says goodbye. Yoongi decides it can wait.
It must be about a week later when Yoongi finds himself thinking about it again. The orgasm hadn’t been anything spectacular, in fact, he’d been embarrassed afterwards and worried Jimin would think he always came so quickly. But Yoongi can’t stop thinking about Jimin, in between all of the times they hang out over the week, Jimin, and his pretty moans and whines, are always on Yoongi’s mind. He thinks he’s going insane.
It’s a Saturday night and they’re all going to Namjoon’s for a party. He’d recently been promoted, and to celebrate, had decided to invite as many people over as could fit in his apartment. Yoongi and Jimin had arrived together as usual.
They’re a few drinks in, Yoongi spacing out on the sofa as he watches Jimin dance. He’s sure Hoseok is talking to him about something, but he can’t bring himself to focus.
Jimin is staring straight at Yoongi, and he’s rolling his hips in a way that suggests he wants Yoongi to look at him too. He’s wearing makeup, a deep red painting his eyelids, making him look even more stunning than usual. He looks devious, more mysterious, and the red offsets all of Jimins softness perfectly.
He smirks at Yoongi as he trails his hands over his own body. He’s wearing a black silk shirt, sleeveless, Yoongi thinks, he recognises it as something Jimin has worn before. His fingers crease the fabric, and he glides over his own nipples, making a point of gasping as he does so. He’s being a little silly, but Yoongi just thinks it's attractive.
He downs another drink, and has to practically tear his eyes away from Jimin. He knows if he doesn’t, he’ll end up a blushing, stammering mess.
‘You okay?’ Hoseok asks, he had noticed Yoongi staring.
‘I’m good, just- Jimin, you know.’ Hoseok nods, he does know.
‘You guys have been hanging out a lot.’
‘Yoongi,’ Jimin interrupts, planting himself in Yoongi’s lap. He leans in close enough to whisper. ‘Wanna leave.’
Hoseok excuses himself and Yoongi gulps.
‘We can’t leave yet, we haven’t given Joon his surprise.’
‘Then… Can we go somewhere quieter?’
Yoongi isn’t sure he likes where this is leading but he nods anyway, letting himself be pulled by Jimin into Namjoons darkened bedroom.
All he hears is the click of the lock and Jimin’s giggle before the man is back in his lap and nosing at his neck.
‘Just wanted you all to myself,’ Jimin murmurs. His tongue darts out of his mouth and he starts to leave wet kisses along Yoongi’s neck.
‘Jiminie…’ Yoongi warns, making the man stop in his tracks. He sighs and sits back, looking at Yoongi, though it’s hard to tell with nothing but the moonlight illuminating the room. ‘What are we doing?’ Yoongi is a little tipsy, and it’s obvious Jimin is as well, so perhaps he’s reading the room wrong, or perhaps he’s more drunk than he thinks.
‘What do you mean, Hyung?’ Jimin replies.
‘This isn’t… how friends are. You know that.’ Jimin sighs.
‘Why isn’t it?’ Jimin says, ‘I want it and so do you. Besides, you know I don’t like commitment, doesn’t it make sense for us to sleep together like this?’
‘Yeah but still it’s-.’
‘Hyung, you’re overthinking and over-complicating it.’ Jimin giggles a little, ‘just relax, let me take care of you.’
Yoongi gulps and hesitantly nods, murmuring a quiet okay when he realises Jimin can’t see him.
He doesn’t waste any time. Jimin immediately dives back in, kissing Yoongi’s neck with a renewed sense of purpose, his fingers dipping below the hem of his sweater. Yoongi shivers, letting out an involuntary whine as Jimin flattens his hands over Yoongi’s tummy.
‘See, you like it,’ Jimin teases, biting a little harder.
‘I never said I didn’t,’ Yoongi retaliates, knowing he doesn’t really have any reason to lie.
‘I wanna suck you off,’ He says, immediately falling to the floor. Yoongi squeals, both excitement and nerves making his tummy ache.
Jimin is both adorable and wildly erotic. He smiles from his position on the floor, but his lips are slick with spit and he's pushing his hair back to keep it out of his eyes.
He unbuttons Yoongi's jeans with quick fingers and doesn't hesitate to tug his underwear down as well. Yoongi's body feels sticky already. The heat of the party under his skin, and the weight of Jimin between his legs; It's all too much.
'Yoongi, tell me if you aren't comfortable, okay?' Jimin says soothingly, planting a few sweet kisses along his thighs. Yoongi makes a noise of understanding and then finds himself enveloped in pleasure as Jimins lips wrap around the tip of his cock and his tongue meets the head, licking slowly and with purpose.
'Fuck,' Yoongi breathes, falling back against the bed. He tangles his fingers in Jimin’s hair, earning a low growl from the younger that must mean he likes things like that.
Yoongi doesn't want to think about if Jimin likes those kinds of things, if he'd done them with other people before. Yoongi decides to shut his brain off and focus on how good it feels to have Jimins lips around him.
The room is silent. The buzz of the music from the party barely filters through the locked door, but the lewd noises from Jimin’s lips seem even louder. It’s difficult for Yoongi to focus. He can still feel the ghost of Jimin’s kisses against his throat, he can feel the way his fingers grip hard at Yoongi’s thighs, and how soft and silky Jimin’s hair feels between Yoongi’s fingers.
The pressure in his groin builds, and with how good Jimin is with his mouth, it’s a wonder Yoongi hasn’t already finished.
‘Jimin…’ He moans, hips bucking up uncontrollably. Yoongi is close, and embarrassingly it’s only been minutes. Jimin pulls away for a second to take a breath and looks up at Yoongi with wide, teary eyes.
‘Want you to cum in my mouth,’ he whispers, as though he doesn’t want to disturb the silence. ‘Wanna taste you.’
‘God- fuck you can’t just say things like that,’ Yoongi says, his stomach lurching at Jimin’s words.
‘I want it.’ He demands, taking a final breath. He takes Yoongi’s cock right to the back of his throat and swallows, and then does so again and again until Yoongi cums with a moan, releasing right down Jimin’s throat.
‘Jimin-.’ Yoongi manages, ‘are you okay?’
‘M’all good Hyung.’ He says, voice a little raspy. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yeah, yeah I’m just-.’ Yoongi pauses, not quite sure what the correct word is to describe how he’s feeling. Relaxed, on one hand, and yet anxious and worried that with every time he lets Jimin touch him like this, they’re taking things too far, another step away from how their friendship had been for years. ‘Overwhelmed,’ Yoongi decides.
Jimin climbs back up onto the bed and helps Yoongi tuck back into his jeans. He curls into Yoongi’s side, his erection pressing into Yoongi’s hip.
‘Do you want me to..?’ Yoongi gestures vaguely downwards and tries not to look as awkward as he feels. The younger giggles, planting a kiss on Yoongi’s cheek.
‘Only if you want to, Hyung.’ He sighs, nuzzling his nose into Yoongi’s collarbones, ‘only do what you’re comfortable with.’
Yoongi takes a moment to think, but the decision is easy to make. He wants Jimin to feel good, he isn’t sure he can use his mouth to quite the same effect, but Jimin had always had a thing about his hands.
He reaches down and smoothes a hand over Jimin’s waist, allowing himself a moment to appreciate his curves. Jimin has a really nice body, and having seen how hard Jimin had worked on cultivating his muscles through dance, Yoongi can only appreciate it more. He has rigid muscles, so seamless and structured, like a beautiful architectural anomaly. But beyond that, he has softness, his hips and his ass, both plump enough for Yoongi to squeeze and pinch as he continues his movements, finding his way to Jimin’s waistband.
‘So slow, Hyung,’ Jimin teases, though he sounds almost breathless.
‘Just appreciating your… Everything.’ Yoongi explains, finally reaching the buttons of his jeans. Yoongi pops them open without any difficulty and starts to palm Jimin over his underwear.
‘You can appreciate my everything when we aren’t locked in our friend’s bedroom.’ Jimin says, trying not to whine.
Yoongi adjusts their position, laying them both on their sides so he can kiss Jimin as he touches him. He can taste himself, and it only encourages him to do better as he thinks about how good Jimin had made him feel.
He reaches beneath Jimin’s underwear and he moans against Yoongi’s lips. His large hand can wrap entirely around Jimin’s cock, and he applies even pressure, eliciting moans from the younger. It’s unlikely they’ll be heard by anyone, but Yoongi still silences him with his lips.
Jimin is a really good kisser, and though they’d kissed before, it had never been like this. The friendly kisses were quick and subtle, or they were forced upon them during drunken games of truth or dare. The one time they’d been forced to play seven minutes in heaven, they’d simply curled up together in the dark and talked. None of theirfriends had ever really understood the relationship they shared, and Yoongi has to admit that recently, he hasn’t really understood it either.
‘Hyung,’ Jimin whines, pulling Yoongi from his thoughts. ‘‘M close already.’
‘Cute,’ Yoongi smiles, circling his fist and pumping faster. Jimin’s precum allows for a smooth glide, and in moments the man is gasping and bucking his hips forward, his load spilling onto Yoongi’s hand.
He brings his hand to his lips, tasting Jimin. It’s nothing unusual for Yoongi, and seeing as Jimin had swallowed and asked for it, he hopes it's as sexy as he wants it to be. Jimin whines and pushes forward, kissing Yoongi in order to taste himself, and then taking Yoongi’s fingers into his mouth and sucking them.
‘You’re so hot,’ Yoongi murmurs, his dick twitching as Jimin sucks harder.
‘Mm I know,’ he giggles. They’re silent for a moment, both catching their breath. Yoongi suddenly remembers where they are and he feels embarrassed, their friends will probably know that something had just happened between them, and since Yoongi and Jimin hasn’t even spoken about it yet, the idea of having their friends ask a dozen questions makes his head spin.
‘We should clean up.’ Yoongi decides, attempting to pull away from Jimin’s grip. The younger whines and pulls him close again.
‘You don’t want to cuddle?’ He pouts, knowing how weak Yoongi is for his cuteness. Of course Yoongi does, but they’ve been gone for nearly half an hour, and their friends would notice their absence soon.
‘Why don’t we give Namjoon his present, make an excuse and then go back to mine?’ Yoongi suggests, hoping it doesn’t sound like he wants more than cuddles.
‘Okay!’ Jimin chirps, standing up from the bed. He turns the light on, and Yoongi notices how disheveled he looks.
‘Fuck, it’s gonna be so obvious that we just…’ He can’t bring himself to say the actual word and blushes instead.
Jimin opens the door to Namjoon’s bathroom and pulls Yoongi inside, cleaning his hands and the small stain on his shirt. They both fix their hair and clothes, and then when they look a little less like they just swallowed each other’s cum, they return to the party.
The party doesn’t seem to have changed. The same people are still dancing, and Hoseok sits chatting with Namjoon. He meets eyes with Yoongi and smiles, briefly glancing at his and Jimin’s joint hands.
‘Where’s the gift?’ Jimin asks, leaning in closer than necessary.
‘In the kitchen.’ Jimin nods and leaves Yoongi's side. He steps towards Hoseok and Namjoon, taking a seat on the couch.
‘Where did you two go?’ Hoseok asks, hitching an eyebrow.
‘Oh, um, Jimin just got overwhelmed so we got away from everything for a bit.’ Yoongi lies, hoping it sounds convincing. ‘He’s not really feeling good, so we might go home if that’s okay?’
‘Yeah of course!’ Namjoon smiles, ‘we’re gonna hang out this weekend anyway, it was mostly Seokjin that wanted to throw this party.’
‘We um, got you a gift to say congrats.’ Yoongi blushes, noticing Jimin stepping towards them. The people around him turn to stare, because even in a dimly lit room like this one, Jimin is still the brightest and most beautiful thing.
‘Hyung!’ Jimin beams, thrusting the bag toward Namjoon. They’d gotten him a set of nice ties and had both pitched in some money for a pair of fancy cufflinks. ‘Yoongi and I went halves, we hope you like it.’
Namjoon pulls the things out, seeming very genuine in his thanks.
‘Are you sure you guys can’t stay for one more drink?’ He asks, holding up one of the ties to examine. Jimin looks confused, but quickly catches on.
‘Sorry Hyung.’ He frowns, leaning in and quickly kissing his friend on the cheek. ‘We’ll see you this weekend though!’
Namjoon sees them out and thanks them for coming. Once they’re in the street, Jimin stretches his arms and throws one around Yoongi’s shoulder.
‘I think we should open a bottle of wine and put on a Disney movie.’ Jimin says, leaving a lazy kiss on Yoongi’s cheek.
They had always acted like this with each other, but now it feels different, he can finally see why their friends had always just assumed they were a couple. Any stranger walking down the street would probably assume the same thing.
They have a nice evening, cuddling and talking, acting as they always had. It was easy for Yoongi to forget that just hours ago he’d been licking Jimin’s cum off of his fingers. He walks Jimin home the next morning, kisses him on the cheek at the corner of his street and waves goodbye. Yoongi had considered saying something, talking about what had happened at Namjoons, and what had happened the other day, but he doesn’t, he holds it in and decides to wait and see.
A week later, Yoongi gets a call from Jimin whilst he’s at work. Usually he’d decline, but the studio is quiet today, so he grabs his coffee and takes it outside for a break.
‘Hey, what’s up?’ Yoongi says when he answers, followed by a long slurp of his drink.
‘I got an A!’ Jimin yells, ‘on the paper I thought I failed, Hyung I got my best mark yet!’
‘I told you it was good Jiminie,’ Yoongi smiles. ‘I do have a masters degree, you should really trust me on these things.’
‘I know, I just worry,’ Jimin chuckles, ‘you should take me out for dinner to celebrate.’
‘What a subtle hint,’ Yoongi scoffs, ‘but of course, anything for my Jimin.’
‘Cheesy,’ Jimin says, and Yoongi knows he’s rolling his eyes.
‘I can pick you up after work if you’d like, just choose where you wanna go.’
Jimin thinks for a second, ‘how about that fancy sushi place we keep meaning to go to?’
‘Sure,’ Yoongi takes another sip of his drink and smiles, ‘I have to get back to work.’
‘No, Hyung, stay and talk to me, I’m bored.’
‘I wish I could, I’d rather be talking to you.’
‘I am pretty amazing,’ Jimin replies, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Yoongi just hums in agreement. ‘Fine, go work so you can afford to buy me lots of sushi.’
‘Okay Jiminie,’ Yoongi giggles, ‘I’ll see you later.’
‘See you later, Hyung!’ The call ends with a click, and Yoongi can’t help but smile.
Yoongi has to head home to change and shower before he picks Jimin up. The restaurant is a little too nice for him to wear his tattered black jeans to. He instead opts for a nice black sweater he’s sure is Jimins, and some slacks.
Jimin looks beautiful, as per usual. He’s gone all out, choosing to wear a deep red sweater that falls off of his shoulder and that matches his eye makeup as well as high waisted trousers that compliment his figure.
Yoongi murmurs a breathless hello as Jimin climbs into the passenger seat, and judging by Jimin’s sly smile, he’s pleased with Yoongi’s reaction.
Jimin had booked a table, and so they’re seated as soon as they arrive. Looking around, Yoongi decides they must be the best looking couple in the whole place.
‘I’m starving.’ Jimin groans, staring at the menu, ‘I can order anything I like?’
‘Within reason, don’t order so much it will go to waste.’ Yoongi warns, knowing full well Jimin would never take advantage like that.
‘Good evening, my name is Sejun, I’ll be your waiter. Can I get you some drinks?’
‘Oh my god, Sejun?’ Jimin looks really pleased to see the waiter, when Yoongi looks up, he feels very much the opposite.
Sejun had been Jimin’s friend in his first year of university. They had gotten very close very quickly, and ended up sleeping together for a while until Jimin had found out he wasn’t the only person Sejun had been messing around with. It hadn’t broken Jimin’s heart, but he had been extra clingy with Yoongi after the fact.
‘Wow, Jimin, it’s been years!’ The waiter grins, checking Jimin out, ‘you look good.’
‘Thank you.’ Jimin blushes, ‘I haven’t seen you around campus recently.’
‘Nah, I dropped out last year so I could earn some money.’ Jimin nods. ‘So, you guys on a date?’
‘Huh? Oh! no, you remember Yoongi?’
‘Hello,’ Yoongi says stiffly. Sejun only nods at him.
‘Let me get you guys some wine, on the house. You still a fan of red?’
‘Very much so.’ Jimin giggles, and it sounds flirty. Yoongi’s stomach drops.
Sejun takes their orders and brings them there free wine. It’s good wine, but to Yoongi it only tastes bitter. The food itself is really good, Jimin makes lots of noises of satisfaction that are beyond endearing, and his eyes always linger a little too long on Yoongi’s lips.
They get dessert and Yoongi shuffles to the other side of their booth to share Jimin’s ice cream with him. Sejun watches them from the wait station, and though he’s trying not to be too obvious, Yoongi notices.
It’s cute, how they’re sitting, with Yoongi’s arm draped gently around Jimin’s waist and Jimin, oblivious to the attention, feeds Yoongi spoonfuls of his dessert and coos when it leaves traces on his lips.
‘I would kiss it away if we weren’t in public.’ Jimin explains as he dabs the cream away with a napkin. It makes Yoongi blush a bright shade of red, which pleases Jimin.
‘Everything good for you?’ Sejun says, suddenly appearing to ruin the moment.
‘So good, I am stuffed.’ Jimin chuckles, ‘could we get the bill please?’
‘Sure!’ He forces a smile and quickly finds their bill. He holds the card machine out and Yoongi takes it in order to pay. ‘Um, Jimin, I get off in like half an hour, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to grab a drink? Just the two of us?’
‘Ah, Yoongi and I have plans tonight otherwise I would. Maybe another time?’ Jimin smiles sweetly.
‘Yeah, sure.’ He takes the machine back from Yoongi who can’t help but smirk, ‘I hope you two have a lovely evening.’
When they’re outside, Jimin joins his hand with Yoongi's, swinging their arms between them. Neither of them say much as they walk the short distance to the car, and as they drive back, Jimin talks only of the delicious food.
‘Sejun was nice.’ Jimin comments as he sits on Yoongi’s couch, spreading himself out as if he owns the place.
‘Yeah. I got wine, would you like a glass?’ Yoongi replies stiffly, disappearing into the kitchen so Jimin can’t see how annoyed he looks that Jimin would even bring that man up. He’s aware that he has no right to be jealous, Jimin isn’t his and doesn’t want to be his, so why should it even matter to Yoongi that Jimin might want to be with someone else? Of course Yoongi is in love with Jimin, but he had been when Jimin was initially sleeping with Sejun, yet back then instead of jealousy, Yoongi only felt pity for himself.
‘Sure.’ Jimin calls, following Yoongi. ‘Everything okay?’
‘Why wouldn’t it be?’ Yoongi snaps, and he sounds far more harsh than he would have liked. Jimin takes a step back.
‘Hyung, are you jealous?’ Yoongi doesn’t have to look at Jimin to know that he’s smiling.
‘No.’ He replies too quickly. ‘I just don’t know why you’d give him any of your time when he treated you the way he did.’
‘I’m a big boy, Yoongi.’ Jimin says, stepping closer until he’s pressed against Yoongi’s back and his hands are around his waist. ‘I can look after myself.’
‘Okay, just don’t come crying to me when he hurts you again.’ Yoongi shrugs, trying to escape Jimin’s grip. It only tightens, and then the younger is pressing gentle kisses to the base of Yoongi’s neck.
‘I don’t want him,’ Jimin says simply, ‘I want you.’
Jimin isn’t aware how dangerous his words really are. They both excite and scare Yoongi, so much so that whilst his heart begins to beat in anticipation, everything in his gut is telling him this is a bad idea.
Jimin doesn’t seem to notice and continues, leaving bite marks along the side of Yoongi’s throat, soothing them with wet kisses.
‘Jimin,’ Yoongi warns, but even he has to admit that it sounds far more sensual than annoyed.
‘I wanted to kiss you in the restaurant, wanted to touch you under the table,’ Jimin murmurs, ‘you look nice in this sweater Hyung, makes your shoulders look really broad.’
He drags his hands up Yoongi’s body, stopping at his shoulders and gently squeezing. Yoongi can’t speak, he can only let Jimin do whatever it is he wants with him.
‘You look nice too, Jiminie…’ Yoongi manages after a moment, his voice coming out breathless.
‘Just nice?’ Jimin pouts, ‘I dressed up for you Yoongi, I know how you like when I wear makeup.’
‘It looks pretty.’ Yoongi blushes, ‘really pretty, I couldn’t stop staring at you in the car.’
‘Mhm, you nearly crashed,’ Jimin giggles sweetly. ‘You really think I’m that pretty Yoongi?’
‘Beautiful,’ Yoongi blurts, ‘I think you’re beautiful.’
Jimin sighs and lets his hands wander. Yoongi’s hips are pressed against the kitchen counter, held in place by Jimins hips.
‘Can I touch you here, Hyung?’ Jimin asks, his fingers brushing over Yoongi’s nipples. Yoongi gasps, his entire body feeling as though an electric current is being passed through it wherever Jimin touches him.
Jimin giggles, his hands roaming even lower.
‘What about here? Does that feel good?’ His fingers play with the waistband of Yoongi’s slacks, stroking and tickling the skin there.
‘Yoongi…’ Jimin whispers sweetly, moving his face closer until his lips are brushing against Yoongi’s ear. ‘Can I make you feel good? Really good?’
Yoongi doesn’t hesitate, ‘Yes.’
Jimin kisses him more, around his ear and his neck until there are bruises and until Jimins lips are darker in shade and swollen. He grabs Yoongi’s face roughly, turning it so he can kiss him on the mouth, all tongue and bite and desperation.
Jimin is rubbing Yoongi through his slacks, the material of his underwear is a little rough and it hurts, but in the best of ways. He can feel Jimin growing harder against his ass and arches his back, knowing that with how tight his trousers are, Jimin can thrust nearly between Yoongi’s cheeks.
‘Can I fuck you, Yoongi?’ Jimin asks, sounding a little more shy, ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since I sucked you off.’ Yoongi shivers and nods. ‘You want it right here?’ Jimin sounds more cocky now, he starts unbuttoning Yoongi’s trousers before the man can answer.
‘Anywhere you want me.’
‘You sound so desperate Hyung.’ He scoffs, ‘I didn’t know you wanted me that bad, you’re not very obvious about it.’
‘I got jealous, didn’t I?’ Yoongi argues, growing impatient with Jimin's slow movements.
‘Possessiveness isn’t cute, Yoongi.’ Jimin giggles, ‘at least it isn’t on anyone but you.’
Jimin pulls Yoongi's slacks down over his ass and squeezes the soft flesh. Jimin has never touched him like this, so brazen and rough. It’s different to how he’d always thought Jimin would fuck him, Yoongi had always imagined it would be soft and sweet, not desperate and messy.
Yoongi's hips roll forward but there’s nothing for him to rut up against anymore, and it doesn’t seem as though Jimin intends on paying any attention to what he wants anytime soon. He spreads his hands out on the kitchen counter and Jimin jostles him into position, helping arch Yoongi's back and widen the gap between his thighs.
‘Hurry.’ Yoongi whines, embarassed by how exposed he is. Jimin squeezes Yoongi's ass harder, admiring the display quietly.
‘Pretty.’ Jimin murmurs. ‘I need lube and condoms.’
‘You know where they are…’ Yoongi groans, his face is close to the counter now, and if Jimin doesn’t hurry up and do something, Yoongi feels as if his shaking thighs won’t hold him for much longer. The man hurries off to Yoongi’s bedroom to retrieve the things he needs and Yoongi lets out a sigh of relief. Jimin has barely touched him yet, but Yoongi is a mess and his entire body is reacting so explosively and involuntarily to Jimin’s touch that Yoongi doesn’t know how to cope. He’s reminded of all of the dreams he’d had of Jimin, in situations like this where Yoongi is embarrassingly hard and Jimin can only coo at him, tease him about being such a desperate, horny mess.
‘You didn’t touch yourself, did you, Yoongi?’ Jimin asks as he returns to the kitchen. From Yoongi's perspective, he can see how pleased Jimin is with this situation. He’d always liked being the more dominant one in bed, Jimin had voiced this preference during the many times in which they had talked about the sex that they’d had. Now Jimin has Yoongi, who is older, taller and considered a more suitable top than bottom, bent over and shaking without being touched, it’s surprising that Jimin isn’t brimming with excitement, or as desperate as Yoongi is to get things moving.
‘I didn’t.’ Yoongi murmurs, trying to make eye contact with Jimin. Unfortunately Jimin is already standing behind him, holding the nape of Yoongi's neck so that he can’t move very much.
‘Good boy.’ Jimin praises.
Yoongi closes his eyes and focuses on the sensations travelling through his body. He hears the click of the lube and a few moments later he feels Jimin’s finger massaging the area around his hole. Jimins hands are small, but Yoongi trusts that the younger knows exactly how to pleasure someone else, and he knows if he were to suggest they use a toy, Jimin would probably be offended.
‘I’m gonna stretch you now, okay?’ Yoongi nods dumbly and spreads his legs as wide as he can whilst he’s still restricted by his slacks. Jimin presses the first finger in slowly, but it doesn’t take long for him to grow in confidence and begin moving it around, going as deep as he can until he has to add another. ‘Tell me if it’s too much.’
‘I can take it.’ Jimin adds a third finger, and begins to spread them apart. It feels good, Yoongi is holding back, but he still can’t help but let out small whines and shaky breaths whenever Jimin's fingers brush the sensitive spot deep inside of him. It’s easy for him to forget that it’s Jimin touching him like this, Yoongi can’t see him or hear him, all he can do is feel. The way Jimin's free hand helps hold Yoongi up, how his hips roll forward involuntarily whenever Yoongi whimpers, how despite their similar heights, Yoongi feels small beneath Jimin.
Jimin begins thrusting his fingers in and out, but it seems even he’s having a hard time holding back now.
‘Hyung, can I?’ Jimin asks, and it’s such a simple gesture but Yoongi appreciates that his friend cares enough to check, it feels a little out of place considering the circumstances, but Yoongi nods. ‘You’re so- so tight, I can feel with my fingers.’ Jimin is gasping as he talks, and Yoongi can hear him ripping open the condom packet.
Yoongi’s own cock had been neglected, but he doesn’t dare touch himself, he has a feeling Jimin would withhold even more if he did. It’s so tempting though, and Jimin is still going slowly, only pressing in the tip and then pulling away again, leaving Yoongi’s hole fluttering and clenching around nothing.
‘Just want to be full, please, Jiminie?’ Yoongi practically begs, arching his back even more and forcing his ass closer to Jimins hips.
‘Hyung- you can’t- you can’t dirty talk like that, it’s not good for my sanity.’
‘Mm, but I need you, please?’ Jimin's resolve fades quickly and he presses all the way in, letting Yoongi adjust the position of his hips until he’s comfortable. ‘Good, feels good.’ Yoongi murmurs, closing his eyes again and resting his face against the cold counter. His entire body feels warm, the sweater he’s wearing feels suffocating and Jimin's hands on his ass are burning. But Yoongi feels content, he could happily stand here with Jimin filling him up just like this for hours, enjoying the stretch and the constant tension, like a string pulled taut and ready to snap.
‘I’m gonna move now, okay baby?’ Jimin whispers, he brings his hand to Yoongi’s back, pushing his sweater up and letting his fingers caress their way from the nape of Yoongi’s neck to the base of his spine. Such a sweet gesture, and once again Yoongi feels himself falling.
Unlike the tender touches, the way Jimin fucks Yoongi is raw and rough. There’s no hesitation in his movements, he fucks like he dances, with fluidity and precision, without missing a beat and with all of the vigour he can muster. Yoongi’s drooling against the counter, and he’s sure if he doesn’t cushion his face, he’ll end up with bruises all along his cheekbones.
‘Hurts.’ Yoong murmurs, his words instantly stilling Jimin. He lifts his hand and puts it under his cheek. ‘Don’t stop.’ He whines.
‘I had to make sure my baby is okay.’
‘M’not okay, wanna touch.’ Yoongi complains, but he doesn’t have a spare hand anymore so there’s nothing he can do. ‘Jiminie…’
‘You’ll get to cum baby, don’t worry.’ Jimin reassures, petting Yoongi’s hair, ‘can you be more flexible for me?’
‘Nuh-uh, not in these trousers.’
Jimin seems to agree, and it takes him less than a moment to help Yoongi out of them.
‘Let me help Hyung.’ He grabs Yoongi’s thigh and lifts it so that his foot rests on one of the cabinets handles. It’s not an easy position, it makes Yoongi’s thighs burn and ache, but when Jimin pushes back in his cock instantly reaches that spot inside of Yoongi and he sees stars.
‘Fuck, Jimin.’ Yoongi cries out, he’s shaking all over and that seems to amuse Jimin. He pulls nearly all the way out and pushes back in, again and again until Yoongi is sure he’s gonna cum. But every time he’s close, Jimin pulls out, the pleasure isn’t consistent and he needs Jimin to stay in place for a minute until-. ‘I’m gonna- mmn, I’m cumming-.’
‘Good, Hyung.’ Jimin praises, quickening his pace for a minute so Yoongi can finish. Yoongi’s mind goes completely blank, all he can think and feel is Jimin. Jimin. Jimin. When Yoongi’s senses return, fazing in slowly, Jimin is still fucking him, his pace even faster than it had been.
He’s so sensitive and out of it that his moans are louder, and Yoongi can barely tell that they’re his. Yoongi has never cum like that, he’s never cum untouched before and it had felt like no other orgasm he’d had.
‘Mnm, Min-I’m- sensitive.’
‘I know, I know, just- I’m so close just let me-.’ Yoongi clenches tighter, rolls his hips backwards in an attempt to help. ‘Oh-oh Yoongi that feels good.’
‘Yeah, keep- keep doing that Hyung.’
Yoongi drops his legs, allowing for a tighter fit. Jimin gasps, and as Yoongi puts in all of the effort he can, Jimin doesn’t even warn him before he spills into the condom. Yoongi’s thighs are shaking and his scalp and face feel numb. He pants against the counter, and as he glances down, he spots his own cum against the kitchen floor.
Jimin pulls out quickly and disposes of the condom, he doesn’t even look at Yoongi.
‘You should go shower Hyung.’ Jimin says after a few minutes, ‘I’ll clean up.’
Yoongi feels embarrassed. He pulls up his slacks and turns towards Jimin.
‘Okay.’ Yoongi blushes, quickly excusing himself. In the bathroom Yoongi stares at his reflection in the mirror and lets out a sigh. His cheek is a little purple, but it doesn’t seem like it’ll bruise, but his ego, however, is feeling all kinds of dark purple and black.
Jimin hadn’t even wanted to look him in the eye, and it dawns upon Yoongi that their first time together would always be tinged with jealousy. He had been jealous, without any right to be, and Jimin had fucked him to shut him up. He knows they can’t go on like this, it’ll be a difficult discussion, but the relationship they’re sharing is toxic and Yoongi doesn’t want anything to do with it anymore.
He showers and when he returns to his bedroom, Jimin is laying in his bed on his phone.
‘You smell nice.’ Jimin chuckles as Yoongi lays next to him, ‘like a field of flowers, mm.’ He pulls Yoongi close and sniffs his hair.
‘It’s the body wash you always steal.’ Yoongi explains, relaxing into the embrace. ‘We forgot the wine.’
‘I’m too tired to get back up, we can drink it another time.’ They fall silent, still holding each other as they try to doze off, but Yoongi is wide awake and he can’t stop thinking.
Jimin doesn’t want him, and that had been the weirdest sex he’d ever had. It was intense, and somewhat emotional but also Jimin had felt distant, he hadn’t seen him the entire time they’d been fucking and the way Jimin had pulled out as soon as he possibly could doesn’t sit right with Yoongi.
‘I’m sorry for being jealous.’ Yoongi whispers. ‘I shouldn’t have let that get in the way of our nice evening.’
‘It’s okay Yoongi Hyung, I still had a good time.’ Jimin giggles, ‘you’re really good at making me cum.’
Yoongi flushes, ‘Yeah, I guess.’ He wants to say that he wishes he could be good at being enough for Jimin, but he doesn’t, and soon falls into a dreamless sleep.
The next morning Jimin wakes up first and dresses in Yoongi’s clothes. He has class after lunch, but he needs to go home, shower and prepare for it so Yoongi walks with him. Jimins dorm is really close by, so the walk only takes a few minutes and as they stand on the corner of his street, Yoongi is reminded of what he’d wanted to say the other day.
‘Jimin,’ Yoongi starts, grabbing his best friend's hand before he can leave. ‘We should talk about… What’s been happening between us.’
Jimin sighs, ‘Do we have to?’
‘I think we should, my lovely.’ Yoongi squeezes his hand. ‘Why are we suddenly doing this now?’
It’s a scary question for Yoongi to ask, and Jimin frowns as it’s spoken.
‘It’s not sudden, is it?’ He asks rhetorically. ‘I mean, I’ve always thought about it, and then when I was away from you for a week, all of the late night calls and the cute texts, I guess I decided to finally act on it, and since I don’t want anything serious and you’re… Stuck with me...’
‘And, well, I feel most comfortable with you, Hyung.’ Jimin sighs, ‘you know I’ve had bad experiences sleeping with people like this before.’
Yoongi gulps, ‘but my feelings aren’t just sexual, Jimin, and I can’t pretend to see it the way you do.’
‘I know that,’ He murmurs, staring at the ground, ‘but, well, this is the best I can do right now Yoongi, I don’t want more than good sex and a hand to hold.’
‘I don’t see the difference between that and a real relationship.’
‘There’s a huge difference!’ Jimin frowns, throwing his arms in the air dramatically, unconsciously separating his and Yoongi's hands. ‘I don’t want to talk about this anymore Yoongi, can’t we just enjoy it?’
‘I think we should stop,’ Yoongi declares. ‘If my feelings have ruined our friendship, then us doing that is just… going to make it worse.’
‘They haven’t ruined anything.’ Jimin worries his bottom lip between his teeth. ‘I don’t want anything between us to change.’
‘I don’t want that either,’ Yoongi admits, ‘but don’t you think it’ll hurt when you meet someone new? And we’re just friends again?’
‘No. I don’t, because we’ve always been best friends, even when I was with other people, and even when you were.’ Jimin takes a deep breath and joins their hands again, ‘besides, I don’t want anyone else right now, and I don’t think that’s gonna change anytime soon.’
‘Jimin, I love you,’ Yoongi murmurs, sounding as pathetic as he feels, ‘I can’t just ignore it, and I can’t forget that you don’t feel the same way.’
‘Hyung, don’t-.’ Yoongi shakes his hand away from Jimins and takes one last look at his miserable face. His lips are red from where he’s biting them and his eyes are filled with tears. Yoongi knows he has to leave, another word and he’ll cave.
‘I don’t think we should… Do this anymore Jimin. Us, whatever this is, should stop.’ Yoongi says.
‘Are you saying you won’t be my friend anymore?’
‘I guess I am.’ Yoongi isn’t, he doesn’t want that, he wants Jimin to say he’s in love with him too, and for them to not have this conversation at all. He wants them to go back to how it was, because everything had changed so quickly and moved so fast that Yoongi doesn’t know what it is that he wants.
‘Yoongi, we’ve been best friends for over ten years and you want to walk away because we fooled around? It didn’t even mean anything!’
That hurts, a lot, and Jimin immediately tries to backpedal as he realises.
‘There’s no going back now. What’s done is done, and we’ll never be able to just be friends again.’ Yoongi tries to explain calmly, even though his hands are shaking and his heart is pounding and his stomach is tying itself in knots. ‘You know that I’m right, Jimin.’
‘I don’t care! I don’t care if you’re right, you’re my best friend! I’m not…’
‘Stop! Just stop, you’re not going to fall in love with me, and you’re not going to want to stop sleeping together, because I know you, Jimin. It’s too much for me, I can’t do this.’ Jimin's face falls, he looks as defeated as Yoongi feels. The street around them seems still, and the space between them feels like it's larger than it’s ever been. This is it, is all Yoongi can think, we’re done.
‘Don’t… Please don’t just go.’ Jimin whispers, staring at the ground.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t know what else to do.’ Is what Yoongi manages before he walks away, dragging his feet the short distance to his apartment.
They’ve never had an argument before, Yoongi realises when he gets home. They’ve had disagreements, but never an actual argument. It doesn’t sit right with Yoongi, he feels sad and angry, lost and confused. Jimin had been his closest friend since he was 12 and he had never thought anything could come between them, not even his unrequited love had been an issue all these years. But the sex had been a step too far, it had made Yoongi jealous and clingy and had too much resembled the relationship he truly wanted with Jimin.
It's irrational of Jimin to think Yoongi could just shut off those deeper emotions. Of course he wants Jimin, he wants to wake up next to Jimin everyday, have slow morning sex and kiss away his sleepiness. He wants to make Jimin breakfast, let him fuck Yoongi up against the counter until it’s way past breakfast and they settle on brunch, he doesn’t want that with anyone else, and he never has. But he also wants to love Jimin, to be there after a long day of work and make Jimin tea, kiss him silly and tell him he loves him without a lump in his throat.
Maybe it’s unhealthy for Yoongi to feel that way, he considers that most people don’t stay in love as long as he has, especially since it had never been reciprocated. He’d convinced himself he could settle for what Jimin had chosen to give him, and it had been amazing and fun, but in the long run, it would never be enough. Yoongi would always be pining, whilst Jimin would be pioneering his own existence, blissfully unaware of the destruction he had left in his path.
A week passes with neither of them trying to make contact, even so, after just two days, it had seemed like too long had passed for him to call and apologise, and since Jimin hadn’t made any attempt to contact him, Yoongi could only assume the younger was taking time to think about his actions.
Yoongi wakes up every morning and forgets for a moment that he and Jimin aren’t talking. He picks up his phone and clicks on the text thread, only to realise there isn’t anything he can say. Jimin’s shampoo bottle is still in his bathroom, and his charger is still plugged in next to Yoongi's bed and nothing can bring him to throw them away like he should.
A slow shower, then work, then an evening spent alone. It becomes a routine that Yoongi can’t stand. With Jimin and his happiness and love, it had been bearable, but now it becomes so horribly pathetic that Yoongi realises things have to change.
He considers getting a puppy, and filling the lonely void left by Jimin's absence with something small and soft. But Yoongi's job is far too demanding, he wouldn’t be around enough for the puppy.
During the week, he signs up for a gym, he starts taking a walk around the park after work and cooking a lot more for himself. They’re good steps to take, but it doesn’t really make him feel a lot better, especially when he climbs into bed at night and still swears his sheets smell like Jimin, and he still wears Jimin's comfy sweaters whenever he watches a disney movie. But it’s a start, and he knows that it will take time before he feels himself again.
Nearly three weeks pass, and Yoongi makes the decision to download a dating app and a few days later, he finds himself sitting in front of a handsome stranger at a fancy restaurant. Some part of him had believed that fate would play it's part, and present him with the exact person he needs to get over his lifelong infatuation with his best friend, but all Yoongi can do as he stares at the man is compare him to Jimin, and consider every way in which they aren’t alike.
Jimin has thick lips, pink and plump and good for biting. Jimin has curves and softness, he has long legs and narrow shoulders and a deep V that had made Yoongi's mouth water the first time he’d seen it. The stranger, who’s name is Min-Jun, is tall and slim, he’s built in a way that can only be described as rectangular and he has thin, precise lips. It’s not that he isn’t good looking in his own way, he just isn’t Jimin.
Yoongi had accepted the date because through text, Min-Jun had seemed interesting enough. He works in graphic design and loves music, and he had been the only man that hadn’t tried sending any sexual messages.
‘So, tell me more about your job.’ Min-Jun inquires.
‘I work as a producer, I help write scores for films and produce music for tv shows and things like that.’ Yoongi explains, ‘and you? you said you worked in graphics?’
He nods, ‘it's mostly marketing graphics, but I’m freelance so I take more creative jobs on the side.’
‘Hmm, most recently I worked on a commission for a bakery. I went to their shop and painted murals on all of the walls. It was really fun.’ Yoongi nods, trying to look as if he cares. Jimin is a dancer, and in Yoongi's opinion that’s way more fun than painting bread.
The food arrives and the conversation quickly changes to something more interesting.
‘Weird question,’ Min-Jun starts, ‘it's something I ask all of my dates so bear with me.’
‘You get a lot of dates?’ Yoongi teases, and it makes the man laugh.
‘Not a lot,’ He chuckles, ‘anyway. Are you still on good terms with your ex?’ The question is surprising, and strange for a first date but Yoongi gives it some thought.
His most recent ex was nearly four years ago, when he’d been in his third year of university. Beomseok was one of the upperclassmen helping out in Yoongi's art history class, and he had been the one to make the first move. On their first date, they had gone ice skating and held hands as they spun around the rink, flailing limbs and nearly falling every few minutes. Yoongi remembers having a really good time, and it was because of this that he’d agreed to a second date. They were together for 8 months, and had broken up because Beomseok had felt Yoongi was never as invested in the relationship as he was. It had been true, Yoongi was always waiting for Jimin, and at the beginning of the relationship it had been easy to forget that. But the longer they were together, the easier it was for Yoongi to realise that whenever he was with Jimin he was happier than when he was with his boyfriend. They hadn’t broken up after a fight, it was as simple as Beomseok telling Yoongi why he was leaving and doing exactly that.
‘No,’ Yoongi says finally, ‘we haven’t spoken since the break up.’
‘Interesting,’ Min-Jun smiles, ‘if you had said yes I would have thought you were crazy, I don’t think it’s healthy to stay close with someone you once loved.’
‘Yeah, I guess you’re right.’ Yoongi shrugs. If only he could explain how he had kept Jimin by his side for even longer than he’d known he loved him, and that his intentions had been to continue on like that for as long as Jimin would let him.
Yoongi feels sad, whether it’s obvious to his date he has no idea, but the food he eats is bitter and bland, his wine burns his tongue and though the conversation is pleasant, it makes Yoongi long to be anywhere else, alone, or with the one he truly loves.
Yoongi lets Min-Jun hug him when they part ways, but he doesn’t think there’s any point in seeing the man again. The spark hadn’t been there, and all Yoongi had done the entire night was remind himself that Min-Jun isn’t Jimin, and that he never will be.
It’s so frustrating. Yoongi wants to lash out and scream because though he feels more like himself, Jimin still has this hold over him that he can’t explain. On the way home Yoongi can’t hold back his tears. They burn as they dribble pathetically from his eyes, wetting the collar of his shirt. He calls Namjoon, and through sobs, begs his friend to come over.
Namjoon is there within a half hour, drying Yoongi's tears and trying to figure out what’s wrong. When Yoongi is calm enough to speak, he tries his best to explain.
‘I’m in love with Jimin,’ he says quietly, ‘and Jimin doesn’t feel the same way, but he knows how I feel and we were sleeping together.’
‘Oh.’ Namjoon says, blinking a few times as he processes the flurry of information, ‘how long have you been in love with him?’
Yoongi has to think about it. That moment at the sleepover would have been when Jimin was 17.
‘Yoongi…’ Namjoon frowns, ‘that’s a really long time.’
‘I know, I’m stupid.’
‘Jimin is a really great guy but we both know he doesn’t do well with commitment.’ Namjoon sighs and pulls Yoongi back in for a hug. ‘So you’ve been sleeping together?’
‘Yeah.’ Yoongi sniffles, ‘only three times.’
‘And you instigated it?’
Yoongi shakes his head, ‘it was Jimin.’
‘Really? And he knew about your feelings?’
‘What a dick.’ Namjoon scoffs, ‘Seriously, how could he do that to you?’
‘I don’t know, I guess… He was confused about his own feelings, he hasn’t really explained.’ Yoongi shrugs.
‘So why were you so upset tonight?’
Yoongi explains about the date and he hates how Namjoon looks at him with nothing but pity.
‘Yoongi, I love you, you’re one of my best friends but you can do better than Jimin, and you deserve someone who will love you back.’
‘I know.’ Yoongi murmurs, ‘but I’ve tried to move on, you know I’ve dated other people but it’s always Jimin, I always come back to him no matter what.’
‘Maybe this time away will be good!’ Namjoon says, ‘maybe we could go out this weekend, try and have a good time.’
‘Yeah, that sounds nice.’
‘I’ll talk to Hoseok and Seokjin-Hyung.’ Namjoon smiles. ‘And I won’t tell them about this if you don’t want me to.’
‘I’d really appreciate that Joon.’ Namjoon hugs him once more. They put on some Netflix series and relax into the couch, and for a while Yoongi feels comfortable and as if things are going to be okay.
Namjoon keeps his promise and the following weekend they decide to go to a club. Yoongi goes all out, he buys a new shirt and even goes to the effort of ironing it. He wears his favourite slacks, the ones he knows make his ass look good, and lets Hoseok lightly curl his hair so it frames his face.
They go to a club that isn’t far from Jimin's place, one they’d been to a bunch of times before and they all know well. The music here is good, and the drinks are cheaper than most places around.
They order a round of shots, it’s just him, Hoseok, Namjoon and Seokjin, and though the others don’t know why Yoongi had needed the night out, they still make sure he feels included. Yoongi is looking to get drunk, and to have a good time and not think about how empty the busy club feels without Jimin's presence.
After his seventh shot, he’s dragged to the dance floor. The sweaty bodies push and shove, and somewhere between them he loses Hoseok and closes his eyes, letting the rhythm of the song dictate his movements. There are unfamiliar hands on his ass and on his hips, but Yoongi doesn’t care, the touch of a stranger is something he needs to get used to.
Lots of people are touching him, but one particular set of hands holds his waist as he moves. They feel nice, smaller than his, but soft against the places his shirt rides up and with enough respect to not ask for anything more. He doesn’t look back, but the stranger begins to lean closer, letting Yoongi grind back against his groin. The man must be about his height, and he smells of a cologne so familiar that if he were sober, he could definitely place which one of his friends wears it too. He decides that without even seeing this man's face, he wants to take him home.
Yoongi finally turns around, and his heart stammers to a stop.
He nearly falls backwards, because of course it’s Jimin. The hands felt safe, the smell was familiar, it’s always Jimin.
‘What are you doing here?’ Yoongi yells, trying to look more angry than relieved.
‘I came out with Tae.’ Jimin returns, smiling. They aren’t supposed to be talking, and Jimin isn’t supposed to be pleased to see Yoongi, he’s supposed to be upset, hurt, how Yoongi has been feeling. He shoves him away and battles through the crowd, heading for the door.
It feels like he can breathe as soon as the cold air hits his face, and he stumbles a few steps until he finds a wall to hold himself up against. Yoongi had forgotten to eat dinner, the alcohol had gone straight to his head.
‘Hyung!’ Yoongi turns towards the voice, trying not to feel the way his heart beat picks up as Jimin sees him. His apartment isn’t far from here, he knows the way well enough without even thinking, so ignoring Jimin, he turns and tries to walk in the direction he thinks his home. ‘Yoongi, let me help you.’
‘Leave me alone.’ Yoongi spits, sounding sad. ‘Please, go.’
‘Hyung you’re drunk, I’m not going to let you walk home alone.’
‘Then I’ll find Hoseok.’ Yoongi reasons, ‘anyone but you.’
‘That’s no way to treat your best friend, Yoongi.’ Jimin pouts, stopping in front of him and putting his hands on his hips.
‘Neither is making them feel like nobody will ever love them, but that’s what you did to me.’ Yoongi returns spitefully. Jimin staggers, and stops.
‘I will not!’ Jimin yells, ‘I am not letting you leave me, not after everything we’ve been through. I am taking you home, we are going to sober up and we are going to talk about it. No arguments.’
Yoongi doesn’t argue. He lets Jimin lead him back to his apartment, he lets Jimin make him toast and water and consumes them without question. Jimin watches him quietly from his seat across the table, he seems to be deep in thought. Yoongi goes to the bathroom, he still looks nice, but he’s far more sober now, so instead of happy, his reflection shows only misery.
Yoongi doesn’t want to have another argument with his best friend.
‘How are you feeling now, Hyung?’ Jimin asks softly, following Yoongi’s every movement as he drops onto the couch.
‘Okay, now tell me the truth.’
They both stare at each other and Jimin frowns.
‘If you’re gonna act like a baby then I’m gonna treat you like one.’ Yoongi is not acting like a baby, he thinks, and then pouts. He is acting like a grown up man who is maybe still a little inebriated, and one who doesn’t want to have to deal with a problem he’d been doing an excellent job of avoiding for a month. Jimin ignores the pout and stands up, stepping toward Yoongi, without a moment's hesitation, he hoists Yoongi over his shoulder and carries him to the bedroom. Yoongi fights, he lashes out and slaps Jimin’s back, not hard enough to hurt but enough to signal that he’s not pleased about the situation.
‘Put me down!’ Jimin does, throwing Yoongi on the bed and standing over him.
‘Are you gonna act like a grown up now?’ Yoongi pouts and shakes his head no. ‘Fine, then you’ll have to call me Hyung.’
‘Go away.’ Yoongi murmurs.
‘Go away, Hyung. Speak properly.’ Jimin teases. ‘You wanna get ready for bed?’
‘When you leave.’ Yoongi mumbles, folding his arms over his chest. He’s aware how silly he looks, hair messed up and pouting like a petulant child.
‘Yoongi,’ Jimin says, sounding far more serious, ‘come on, let me help you.’
‘I don’t need your pity.’ Yoongi sulks, ‘and I don’t need you here, I can look after myself.’ Jimin rolls his eyes and goes to the drawers, taking out a set of Yoongi’s pyjamas. He starts tugging off Yoongi’s trousers, and he doesn’t fight it.
‘See, you can be a good baby.’ Yoongi kicks out, grabs Jimin's hand and pulls him so he’s flush against his chest. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, but Jimin doesn’t seem phased, he places his thighs either side of Yoongi’s and begins to unbutton his shirt. It’s halfway off of Yoongi's body when he grabs Jimins hands, stopping his movements.
‘Not tired.’ Yoongi complains, knowing he’s being difficult, and that the position they're in is compromising. He’s half undressed with the boy he loves, who doesn’t love him back, straddling him and smirking.
‘You seem tired, my love.’ Jimin says, ‘what else would you rather do?’ His voice is flirty, Yoongi knows that tone well and he doesn’t have the resolve to say no to whatever Jimin wants of him.
‘Don’t know.’ Yoongi breathes, avoiding eye contact.
‘Why did you go to the club tonight, Yoongi?’ Jimin asks.
‘To drink,’ Yoongi answers simply.
‘And why were you letting all of those men touch you?’ Jimin hitches an eyebrow, and finishes unbuttoning Yoongi’s shirt.
‘Jimin!’ Yoongi whines, trying to escape his grip.
‘Tell me, were you missing me?’
‘I was just looking for someone to-.’ Yoongi blushes and turns his head to the side, not wanting to know how pleased Jimin is at his admittance.
‘Someone to take home with you?’ Jimin finishes.
‘It does.’ Jimin sighs, letting go of Yoongi's shirt and placing his hands on his chest.
‘Why were you there?’
‘Tae asked me to go out, I haven’t been hanging out with anyone since we argued.’ Jimin shrugs.
‘Were you going to take someone home with you?’ Yoongi asks, hoping to sound disinterested.
‘No, I’m a little caught up on someone right now.’
‘Oh.’ Yoongi lets out a shaky breath. He doesn’t believe Jimin is talking about him, which must mean he’d already found someone new. ‘Then you should go and hang out with them.’ He replies spitefully, shoving Jimins hands away.
‘Oh my god, Hyung you must be really drunk still.’ Jimin giggles, ‘I’m talking about you, stupid.’
‘Yes!’ Jimin grins, ‘I know that we want each other in different ways but…’
‘Very different ways.’ Yoongi breathes, he finally looks at Jimin and instead of the teasing expression he expects, Jimin looks sad.
‘I’m sorry for not talking to you, and for ignoring it even though I knew it would hurt.’ Jimin gushes, ‘and I’m sorry that I didn’t call or try and text you, I really thought you would be better off without me around, and I’m sorry that even now I’m doing things I shouldn’t because I-.’ He cuts himself off and stares down at Yoongi.
‘I’m sorry for not talking to you about how I felt, and for yelling at you, and for telling you I loved you in such a stupid way, and after so long. It just ruined things and I should have kept it to myself.’
‘I’m glad you told me, Hyung. I never want you to have to keep anything from me, just like I never want to keep anything from you.’ Yoongi lets out a long breath and stares up at Jimin.
‘I don’t... know how to make it right.’ He says, stumbling over the words.
‘It’s not you that needs to, we need to do that together.’ Jimin decides.
‘But isn’t it my fault?’ Yoongi frowns. He’s still a little hazy, and to him it makes sense that he should be the one to change, not Jimin.
Jimin cuts Yoongi off with a kiss, and they fall into each other just like that. They kiss like they’ve been starving since they’ve been apart, and Jimin smiles.
‘I missed you.’ He gasps, barely pulling away to speak. ‘Yoongi, I missed you so much.’
‘I missed you too.’ Yoongi giggles, unable to hold back his tears. Jimin kisses them away and sits up to hold Yoongi close.
‘Can we just go back to how things were?’ Jimin asks.
‘I’d like that.’ Jimin sits back and gently places his hands on Yoongi's chest.
‘You were really gonna sleep with someone else?’
Yoongi shrugs, ‘I went on a date a week ago and spent the whole time thinking about you, I thought I needed to… Have someone else touch me, like it would help me forget.’
‘Hyung.’ Jimin frowns, ‘you’ve made things really complicated for me, you know that?’
Yoongi doesn’t really understand what Jimin means, but he’s too tired and too tipsy to question any further. They both stand up and change into pyjamas, Yoongi tries not to look at Jimin when he gets undressed, he’s not sure he’ll be able to keep his hands to himself if he’s reminded exactly what it is he’s missing out on.
Jimin had kissed him and Jimin is here to hold him, and that’s enough for now.
The room is too bright for Yoongi when he wakes up. The sun is streaming through a gap in his curtains and it burns his retinas, setting off a headache. Jimin is sitting at the end of his bed talking to someone on the phone, but Yoongi ignores that and shuffles forward until he can wrap all of his limbs around Jimin's torso. He presses his nose to the back of Jimin's neck, he smells like leather and rose, like softness and steel.
‘Oh no, Hoseok-Hyung, I think Yoongi has become a koala overnight.’ Jimin giggles, using his spare hand to tangle with Yoongis. Hoseok says something down the phone that Yoongi can’t quite hear. ‘Yes, I’ll make sure he’s well looked after, don’t you worry, I’ve already sorted breakfast.’
‘He’s gonna make me eat his cooking Hoseok, I might die.’ Yoongi whines.
‘Don’t be so dramatic baby.’ Jimin teases, the nickname makes Yoongi smile. ‘Anyway, I have to go now, Yoongi requires a lot of attention. Bye bye Hyung!’ Jimin ends the call and tosses his phone back onto the bed.
‘What did he want?’ Yoongi asks, pulling Jimin even closer.
‘You didn’t tell him you were leaving, he was worried.’ Jimin explains, and the events of the previous night flood Yoongi's mind.
‘I’ll make it up to him.’ Yoongi grimaces.
‘Yes you will, but not today because you’re busy today.’
‘I am?’ Jimin nods and moves his hands to Yoongi's thighs.
‘Get off, otherwise you won’t get breakfast.’ Jimin squeezes, tickling Yoongi enough to make him let go.
‘If you’re cooking-.’
‘Hyung, you’re so mean.’ Jimin pouts, ‘If I had made you breakfast, you wouldn’t have eaten it?’
Yoongi sighs, ‘I would have.’
‘Bad decision, it wouldn’t have been edible.’ Jimin giggles. He stands up and disappears into Yoongi's living room, there’s a knock at the door and a few minutes later Jimin returns with two bags.
‘You bought breakfast?’
‘Yep! Now sit back, I’m spoiling you today.’
They eat breakfast in bed and catch up on the things they’d missed in each others lives whilst they had been fighting. It feels natural to fall back into their friendship in this way, as if the past month hadn’t happened at all and Yoongi had never confessed. At the time he hadn’t seemed like a big deal, but if he had known the problems it would cause, Yoongi would have kept it to himself.
It seems Jimin had thrown himself into his school work, like he usually did whenever he was upset about something. Yoongi was always prone to much more damaging vices, but Jimin is too smart to do things like that. He enthuses about how well he’d done on his term paper, and how the routine he’s creating for the upcoming dance showcase is his most difficult yet. All Yoongi has to talk about is the date he’d tried to go on, and whatever project he had been working on at the studio. Then there was the gym, and his evening walks. Yoongi is glad that someone is excited about his life, even if it’s Jimin and not himself.
For most of the day they lay nose to nose, buried in Yoongi’s sheets, just talking and holding each other. The moments they share feel comfortable and warm, but they also feel familiar and the sense of dejavu strikes Yoongi as Jimin reaches over to pinch at his sides. Yoongi tries to be subtle about the way he pulls away, but it’s clear Jimin notices, and he makes sure to put more distance between them. He hopes Jimin knows that if it were up to him, they would be even closer, impossibly so, and any space between them would be considered too much.
When Jimin leaves later that evening, he doesn’t kiss Yoongi on the cheek like he has for years, instead he grasps Yoongi in an awkward hug that lasts too long for it to be comfortable.
‘Hyung, I think you should call that guy you went on a date with and give him another chance.’ Jimin says, staring at his shoes. ‘Maybe he could make you happy.’
Yoongi doesn’t know what to say, he just nods and watches Jimin walk away.
It takes a few days, but he does eventually decide to message Min-Jun again. After their date, they had been exchanging polite messages but Yoongi had declined any further meetups. This time it's him that asks if Min-Jun wants to accompany him on a walk after work, and suggests they get coffee together afterwards. Yoongi doesn’t really expect him to agree, but he does and the following evening he meets his date a few blocks from his apartment.
‘I know we said coffee afterwards…’ Min-Jun says in greeting as Yoongi approaches, ‘but, it’s chilly so I got us hot chocolate to keep our hands warm.’
‘Good thinking.’ Yoongi smiles, he accepts the hot drink and leads the way. ‘I’m, uh, sorry that it took so long for us to see each other again, life has been hectic.’
‘Hey, you don’t need to justify anything.’ Min-Jun says, ‘I am glad you asked me out though.’
Yoongi is glad he did too. They have a really good time together, outside of the stuffy restaurant, Min-Jun is much more interesting and fun. He laughs loudly and makes Yoongi laugh in return, and they both find it difficult to stop talking as they walk, until both of them are out of breath and they need to sit down. The wind grows bitter as they talk into the evening, but Yoongi doesn’t care. It’s refreshing, and being able to have a connection with someone new feels nice.
Min-Jun has a lot of strong thoughts and opinions on issues that Yoongi agrees with. He talks with passion, and the indifference Yoongi had sensed during their first date is replaced by this willingness to learn and grow that Yoongi admires. It also helps that Min-Jun looks far more attractive in his everyday clothes, as opposed to the suit and tie he’d worn to the restaurant, the tight fitting jeans and loose sweater suit his features far better.
When they walk back to Yoongi’s apartment, Min-Jun holds Yoongi’s hand and though the fit is a little awkward, both of their hands being too large, it’s still a sweet gesture. Yoongi kisses his date on the cheek at his door, promising he’ll see Min-Jun as soon as he can.
It had been different this time, and as Yoongi reflects on why that is, he realises it’s because the attention from the older man had given him no time to think about Jimin. When Yoongi climbs into bed, he feels happy and surprised to be as excited as he is about seeing Min-Jun again.
A few days later they decide to meet for lunch. Yoongi’s lunch breaks usually meant grabbing a sandwich from a convenience store and sometimes a bar of chocolate from a vending machine, but today he tells his colleagues he’s meeting with a friend and might even be back late. Min-Juns workplace isn’t far from Yoongi’s and once they’d discovered this they’d both decided that meeting for lunch would be the most convenient thing for the both of them.
They had decided on a coffee shop nearby, and it does look a little strange for the two of them to be sitting across from each other. Min-Jun is wearing a nice looking two piece suit, whilst Yoongi wears an oversized distressed hoodie and his favourite jeans.
‘I like this look on you.’ Min-Jun smiles, ‘it's as the kids would say, edgy.’
‘You’re dressed like an old man.’ Yoongi teases, ‘or like you eat a lot of avocado toast.’
‘Ouch.’ He chuckles, ‘it’s good to see you.’
‘You too.’ Yoongi smiles.
From that point on they meet up as much as they can during the week, and sometimes on weekends if Min-Jun isn’t busy with commissions. They talk all the time, and though it's generally friendly, sometimes they flirt as well and Yoongi really likes that. It isn’t really a secret that they’re dating, Yoongi had told Hoseok and Namjoon but it wasn’t something he had discussed with Jimin, he’d mentioned that they’d been going on dates but usually Yoongi kept it at just that and had made the decision that if they were to become serious and official, then he would tell Jimin properly.
Jimin had been busy preparing for his showcase anyway, so he hadn’t had any time for Yoongi since they’d made up. Most of Yoongi's texts to him had gone unanswered, and any calls were short and concise. It feels as if Jimin is avoiding him, but Yoongi tries not to think about it too much, and he tries not to keep texting Jimin that he misses him every other day. Things are just different now, and he needs to get used to that.
They still aren’t boyfriends, but after a romantic dinner one saturday night, Yoongi feels as if it’s a good time to invite Min-Jun back to his apartment. They’d been going on dates for nearly three weeks, and the kisses they shared had grown more and more passionate until both of them had needed to pull away, breathless and panting, hungry for more.
Yoongi pours them both a glass of wine, but their drinks are quickly forgotten as they start to kiss. Eventually they move to the bedroom, and it isn’t as easy as Yoongi had hoped to ignore that this is where he’d been with Jimin not that long ago, but luckily Min-Jun is kissing him again.
The sex is good, really good and Yoongi’s sure he cums at least twice during the night they spend together, as well as once more in the morning when they both linger in bed, not wanting to do anything but touch each other.
‘I’m happy, Yoongi.’ Min-Jun says after a while of silence, he’s holding Yoongi in his arms and softly petting his hair. Yoongi wants to say it back but he can’t, there’s a lump in his throat and a flurry of intrusive thoughts that prevent him from doing so. He kisses the man instead, hoping that says enough.
Eventually they have to get up, but Yoongi stays in bed whilst Min-Jun leaves to make them both coffee. It’s a really nice day outside. The sun is shining and the leafless trees sway slowly in the wind. Yoongi can see yellows and browns from his window, a blanket of colour on the sidewalks left by the changing seasons. If Jimin turns summer into autumn, then Yoongi thinks Min-Jun turns winter into spring.
There’s rustling in the kitchen, Min-Jun talking to someone, most likely himself and Yoongi smiles. He could be happy like this, it isn’t love and it isn’t anything like the way he feels towards Jimin, it’s a quiet sort of admiration, a gentle understanding between two people seeking companionship above anything else.
‘Hey, so-.’ Min-Jun breaks Yoongi’s train of thoughts as he enters the room. He places the mugs on Yoongi’s bedside table and frowns, ‘there’s some random guy in your living room.’
‘Yeah, I don’t know, he’s just sitting on your couch with headphones in.’ Yoongi starts and jumps up from his bed, grabbing a hoodie to pull over his bare chest.
He figures it’s one of his friends who has keys, he doesn’t expect it to be Jimin.
‘Jimin?’ Yoongi calls, rounding the corner so he’s standing in front of his friend. If it were Namjoon or Hoseok, Yoongi would be more conscious of his bare thighs, but Jimin has seen it all before.
‘Oh, hey.’ Jimin murmurs, glancing up at Yoongi. ‘Sorry, I did try to call but… Seems you were busy.’
‘It’s okay, you just scared us.’ Yoongi sighs. ‘Let me just… put some clothes on.’
‘Don’t worry Hyung, I can go, I just thought you were still asleep.’ Jimin collects his backpack and stands.
‘No, stay, please? I’ve barely seen you these last few weeks.’ Jimin seems hesitant, but he nods. Yoongi dashes back into the bedroom, and he has to admit he’s a little relieved that Min-Jun is getting dressed.
‘A friend of yours?’ He smiles, completely oblivious to the tension.
‘Yeah, sorry. He has keys.’
‘No problem, it’s probably good that he’s here otherwise I never would have left.’ Yoongi gets closer and lets Min-Jun put his arms around his waist. ‘I would like to take you for lunch tomorrow though.’
‘I’ll have to check my schedule.’ Yoongi teases, looking up at Min-Jun. ‘I had a really good time last night.’
‘Me too, I hope we can do this again.’ He kisses Yoongi quickly on the lips, collects his bag and waves a quick goodbye.
It takes Yoongi a few minutes to get dressed and fix his hair, and a few more minutes to collect his thoughts and figure out how he’s going to talk to Jimin.
‘You have a boyfriend?’ Jimin says almost as soon as Yoongi enters the room.
‘Not technically, but we’ve been seeing each other for a few weeks now.’ Yoongi explains, ‘you told me to call him, I did and I did tell you that we’d been seeing each other, you just never replied.’
Jimin nods and puts his headphones back in. He has a text book in his lap that he’s doing a very good job of pretending he’s reading from. Yoongi takes a seat on the floor and turns the tv on, he scans through and finds one of Jimin's favourite movies. He looks over at Jimin, noticing how tired he truly looks, his defeated stance all slouch and exhaustion lets Yoongi know that he probably hasn’t been taking care of himself, he’d never been any good at that.
‘I’m much more into the classics now.’ Jimin comments, not even glancing up. ‘You can watch what you want.’
‘I’d like to talk to my best friend if I’m being honest.’
‘Your best friend who didn’t even know you had a boyfriend.’ Jimin scoffs, ‘sounds about right.’
‘You’re impossible, you know that?’ Yoongi sighs, he stands up and moves towards the kitchen. ‘You refuse to speak to me for weeks, and then it’s my fault that I didn’t tell you something.’
‘I didn’t refuse, I was busy.’ Jimin counters, and he’s finally looking at Yoongi, his gaze begging for an argument.
‘Too busy to answer a text.’ Yoongi ignores whatever Jimin says next and shuts the kitchen door behind him. They’re arguing like a married couple, or like two people who hate each other, not two people who are supposed to be best friends.
Yoongi leans against the counter where they’d first had sex and he hates the thought of it. He hates that he’d fallen in love with the one person he could never have, and he hates that he’d confessed so stupidly and that Jimin despises him for ruining their wonderful friendship. And it really had been wonderful, before everything had happened they’d always loved each other in a way no one else could understand. Jimin was Yoongi’s go to person for everything and anything, and they could spend weeks together without a moments break and not get tired of one another.
The relationship Yoongi has with Min-Jun is so vastly different from the one he’d always dreamt of having with Jimin that none of it feels real.
‘Yoongi, I’m sorry.’ Jimin whispers. He’d been standing in the door frame watching the way Yoongi's face was contorted with pain and anger at each thought. ‘I guess I’m jealous.’
‘You have no reason to be jealous.’ Yoongi sighs, ‘I can go on dates and still make time for you.’
‘I’m not jealous that you’re spending time with him, I’m jealous that he gets to kiss you and hold you and I don’t get to do that anymore.’ Jimin explains.
‘We said things had to be like before.’
‘But even before the sex, I could kiss you and I could grab your butt and it was never weird, and you never pulled away.’
‘Things are different now Jiminie.’ Yoongi frowns, and he finally turns to find that Jimin is crying. ‘Hey, don’t cry, I’m sorry.’
‘I don’t want it to be different, you feel so far away, Hyung.’
‘You were being far away on purpose!’ Yoongi protests, but it’s more light hearted now. He steps forward and pulls Jimin into a hug, all of the anger from moments ago dissipating as they hold one another.
‘I wanted you to move on and now I regret telling you to.’ Jimin mumbles against Yoongi’s shoulder.
‘If you don’t want me to date him then-.’
‘No! No I want you to be happy, Hyung.’ Jimin whines, ‘I’m just selfish, and I want you all to myself.’
‘I can still be yours as much as you need me to be Jimin.’ Yoongi says, feeling as though he’s going to regret that statement later.
‘Then it’s okay for me to be annoying and call you all the time? And beg you to pick me up after practice?’
‘Yes, of course it is.’ Jimin squeezes Yoongi even tighter and plants a hesitant kiss on his cheek as he pulls away.
‘I’m kind of a mess right now, in case you hadn’t noticed.’ He laughs, wiping the remaining tears from his cheeks. ‘I haven’t been eating well, nor sleeping well and I was crying all the time because I missed you but I didn’t want to be a burden.’
‘You know you’re never a burden Jiminie.’ Yoongi frowns, he takes his best friend's hand and leads Jimin into his bedroom. The sheets are kind of a mess, and it would be gross for them to lay in them, so Yoongi forces Jimin into his shower whilst he tidies.
Jimin returns in a set of Yoongi’s pyjamas and they curl up to watch a movie and try to figure out how to act around each other without crossing the boundaries that they’d set. Yoongi guesses it’s hard because the boundaries are necessary but neither of them really want them in place. Yoongi wants Jimin in all the ways Jimin wants him, but they’re both aware that if they had continued sleeping together for longer than they had, it would have been impossible for either of them to move on.
It’s not that difficult to change again, but they would also have to navigate an entirely new dynamic in their friendship with the addition of Min-Jun who had grown so used to taking up all of Yoongi’s free time.
Yoongi has lunch with Min-Jun, dinner with Jimin.
He spends Fridays and Saturdays with Jimin, doing things like they used to do, going to art galleries and watching netflix. Then he spends Saturday nights and Sundays with Min-Jun.
It’s hectic and demanding, and it seems manageable until it isn’t.
Min-Jun starts to get clingy, and it’s Yoongi’s fault really because the precedence he’d set in the first few weeks of their relationship had probably led the man to believe Yoongi would always be available to him at all times. But Yoongi isn’t, work is demanding and Jimin needs his attention just as much as Min-Jun and it all boils down to who Yoongi deems most important to him.
Often times it’s Jimin, because despite the fact Yoongi now has a boyfriend, he still considers Jimin his priority. At first he’d had a good enough reason, because Jimin was practicing too hard, and he wasn’t eating enough so Yoongi had to make sure his best friend didn’t die or something. But once the showcase was over, it had become a case of Yoongi choosing to be with Jimin over his boyfriend. Jimin would call and whine down the phone that he didn’t want to be alone, or that his dorm was too loud for him to study in. Sometimes Jimin would just turn up and intrude on Yoongi and Min-Jun’s dates, he’d sit on the floor with his text books and laptop and write a paper whilst the couple watched some romantic movie and whilst Min-Jun pretended to be polite whenever Jimin's typing was too loud.
Jimin had been really kind about the situation, after his initial outburst, he’d quickly come to terms with Yoongi’s new relationship and had been the same supportive best friend Yoongi had always known. He would bring Yoongi dinner on the nights he couldn’t get out of the studio, and he would let Yoongi have lie ins whenever he slept over, surprising him with breakfast. There were smaller things, gestures that hadn’t gone unnoticed, like Jimin leaving his sweaters for Yoongi to wear whenever he was sad, or leaving his hand close to Yoongi’s so that he didn’t have to make a big deal out of asking for his hand to be held. Things like this had seemed prevalent in their relationship before the confession, but now that they’re slowly returning to normal, Yoongi notices them a lot more and is thankful everyday for Jimin and his kindness and warmth.
Yoongi really can’t see why the way Jimin treats him is an issue, it’s not as if he is sleeping with Jimin or pursuing Jimin in any way, they were just finding their footing in normalcy once again. But unfortunately for Yoongi, that’s not how his boyfriend sees it at all.
‘You can’t make me choose, that’s not fair.’ Yoongi argues.
They’re in his living room, and they had been enjoying a cosy evening on the couch watching a romantic movie, but Min-Jun had decided to bring up Jimin. Since their first meeting, it had been obvious he didn't like Jimin and Yoongi had been honest about his and Jimin's skinship, and how close they had always been. He’d left out the part about him being in love with Jimin, as well as the part where they’d slept together. But it was all too much for Min-Jun to deal with, he’d regularly complain about them kissing, he’d throw tantrums whenever Yoongi would cancel a date to see Jimin instead, and he would pointedly refuse to speak to Jimin whenever he came over.
‘It is fair, I’m supposed to be your boyfriend.’ Min-Jun sighs and takes Yoongi’s hand in his, ‘I know you two are close but don’t you think that he needs your attention more than a regular best friend? You have to understand how it looks from where I’m standing.’
‘Just say what you’re trying to say.’
‘I think he has more than friendly feelings for you, Yoongi.’ Yoongi nearly laughs at that.
‘You’re insane not to think so, the few times I’ve spent with the both of you he clings to your side, he holds your hand and… Well, don’t even get me started on the fact he kisses you to say goodbye.’
‘That’s just how we’ve always been, Jun.’ Yoongi doesn’t want to have this argument again, ‘and if you aren’t okay with that then you know where the door is.’
Min-Jun drops Yoongi’s hands and lets out a frustrated grunt. Yoongi hadn’t expected him to actually leave, but his boyfriend stands and collects his jacket.
‘I really thought that I could make this work.’ He says from where he stands by the door, ‘but you’re never going to be anyones but his. I can’t do this, I don’t think we should see each other anymore.’
‘Jun you can’t be serious right now.’ Yoongi feels his chest aching, panic rising in his throat like bile. ‘I can make more time for you, I’m sorry.’
‘It doesn’t matter, Yoongi!’ Min-Jun yells, it’s loud enough that it frightens Yoongi and he takes a step back. ‘I really really like you, hell, we’ve been dating for two months and I had convinced myself I could love you but I’m never gonna be enough, because I’m not Jimin, and whatever it is you two have going on, you should sort it out before you drag other people into it in the future.’
Yoongi doesn’t have a chance to argue back because Min-Jun is gone, slamming the door behind him so hard one of Yoongi’s framed pictures falls from the wall and shatters across the floor.
He cleans it in silence, and then sits back on the couch in silence. The movie had finished, the two characters had found each other and fallen in love.
It doesn’t take long for Yoongi to call Jimin and ask him to come over. For a while he had hesitated but Yoongi knows that if he’s alone he’ll just break down and he really doesn’t want that. He tells Jimin that Min-Jun had left, that they’d been arguing for a while and that he’s upset. Jimin leaves before Yoongi even ends the call.
Jimin lets himself in and as soon as they make eye contact Yoongi starts crying. Jimin holds him until he calms down, and holds him more until he falls asleep, and then all night until they both stumble bleary eyed from the living room, into Yoongi’s bedroom.
‘I’m sorry Hyung.’ Jimin whispers as he threads his fingers through Yoongi's hair. ‘I’m really sorry.’
‘S’not your fault Jiminie.’ Yoongi says sleepily, melting into the comforting touch. ‘You’re here and that's what matters.’
‘I’m always here for you baby.’ Jimin smiles, letting Yoongi snuggle even closer. ‘You wanna talk about what happened?’
‘I don’t think there’s a lot to talk about.’ Yoongi sighs, ‘I told him that we were close, and he was the one who twisted it to make it seem as though we were actively pursuing each other.’
‘He really thought that?’ Jimin asks.
‘I don’t know, he thought that you were the one who wanted me.’ Yoongi scoffs, ‘but it’s okay, I don’t think it was going anywhere.’
‘Hyung, you shouldn’t think like that.’
‘I only have time for one clingy boy and I’ve decided that’s you.’ Yoongi teases, trying to smile. Jimin doesn’t say anything, he just looks at Yoongi in a way that Yoongi has never seen before, and it makes Yoongi think that maybe Jimin loves him too.
Whether it’s because Jimin is being so caring, or because Yoongi’s emotions are all over the place, he decides that he wants to kiss Jimin. All of the times before it had been Jimin instigating things, it was always him who touched first, or asked first but this time it’s Yoongi. He leans back and brushes Jimin's hair out of his eyes, then cups Jimin’s cheeks gently in his hands.
‘I want to kiss you.’ Jimin's eyes widen but he doesn’t move away, so Yoongi leans in. Jimin gasps into Yoongi's mouth when they finally kiss, and it’s unlike all of the other times. There’s no desperation, it’s gentle and slow. It feels like coming home after a long day, or like basking in the glow of the late summer sun, blissfully unaware of anything else.
It even escalates slowly, neither of them noticing the tension building in their bellies until they’re pressed together and panting. Yoongi is so overwhelmed by how pretty Jimin is, how much he’d missed kissing him like this, how different it feels to Min-Jun.
There’s no hesitation, no unspoken truths. They know each other's bodies like they're their own and it’s so easy to fall back into each other.
‘Yoongi, I want you, please, I want you.’ Jimin whispers, leaving feather light kisses along Yoongi’s neck. Their bodies react before Yoongi does, and Jimin pushes him into the bed, kissing him silly, giggling when they bump noses and letting his hands lightly grasp every inch of Yoongi’s body.
‘I like being touched like this.’ Yoongi says, guiding Jimin's hand to his hair, ‘like when you’re gentle and you play with it.’
‘I’ll be gentle.’ Jimin kisses him even slower, and he tangles his fingers in Yoongi’s hair, stroking the strands and pulling lightly. ‘I wanna make you feel good, I wanna hear all of your pretty sounds and-.’
‘Okay.’ Yoongi interrupts, ‘I want that too.’
‘It won’t be like last time, Hyung.’ Jimin pauses to say, ‘I’m gonna take care of you afterwards and hold you all day.’ Jimin had always been like that, what he couldn't communicate with his voice, he would communicate with his body.
Yoongi believes Jimin this time. They keep kissing for a while, Jimin bites a little but never too hard, and when he uses his tongue he moves slowly, leaving wet kisses all over Yoongi’s neck. Jimin sits up and pulls off his shirt then helps Yoongi out of his. He pauses to stare, as if he’s taking in Yoongi's pale chest and broad shoulders for the first time.
‘You’re making me shy.’ Yoongi whines, turning his face away from Jimin's gaze.
‘I can’t help it, I think you’re beautiful, Yoongi.’ Grins Jimin, a blush creeping up his neck, ‘okay now I’m shy, gonna keep kissing you.’ They both giggle at that, but it doesn’t take long for things to get heavy again.
Jimin is hard, and so is Yoongi. With each movement their erections brush against each other through their trousers, and neither of them can help the whines that escape their lips. They struggle out of their trousers in order to be closer, and Yoongi takes the opportunity to climb into Jimin's lap. The younger’s hands roam over Yoongi’s back until they settle in his hair, carding through the strands as they kiss again.
Yoongi is happy that they’re kissing a lot this time, it feels more intimate, and he likes that. Feeling a little useless, Yoongi reaches between them and starts palming Jimin through his underwear, causing Jimin to moan and pull away. His hand is large enough to fit both his and Jimin's cocks side by side, so Yoongi does, not being shy about spitting into his hand in order to make the glide smoother. He can’t stop staring at how good they look together, both red and already leaking from how slow they’d been building up to this moment. As soon as Yoongi moves his hand, he moans loudly and so does Jimin. He thinks he could easily cum just from this, but he wants more. Yoongi’s hips roll forwards erratically, and Jimin tries his best to hold them still whilst also keeping himself calm.
‘Hyung, don’t get too carried away.’ Jimin chuckles, gripping Yoongi’s hips hard to stop him. ‘I want to fuck you like this, I wanna see your face when you cum and I wanna hold you close the whole time.’
Yoongi gulps and nods. The lube and condoms are in the drawer of his bedside table, so he reaches over to grab them.
‘I’m… I stretched earlier.’ Yoongi blushes, ‘probably still a little loose.’ Jimin pours lube on his fingers anyway and helps Yoongi out of his underwear. Yoongi doesn’t really need any stretching, but Jimin uses it as an opportunity to finger fuck Yoongi until his thighs are shaking. Yoongi’s initial worries about Jimin's small fingers seem ridiculous, especially since no-one had ever made him cum in the way Jimin had.
They stay in the same position, Yoongi sitting in Jimin's lap. He rolls the condom on and pumps his cock a few times before letting Yoongi line himself up and sink down. Once Jimin is all the way in, they both take a moment to breathe. Jimin’s lips are red and swollen, but he’s smiling as he runs soothing hands over Yoongi’s sides and whispers sweet-nothings to his ear.
Yoongi moves his hips first, he likes being full, but right now he’d also really like to cum and watch Jimin cum. He lifts himself up and then sinks slowly down again, using Jimin's shoulders for support. The younger looks at him in amazement, helping guide Yoongi’s hips whilst also thrusting up into him. They meet each other halfway, fitting perfectly together.
Neither of them hold back this time, they trade moans like kisses, passing them between each other as they press together again and again. Jimin keeps adding lube, until the glide is so smooth that he can fuck upwards as hard as he likes, hitting that spot inside of Yoongi every single time. The pleasure is all encompassing, Jimin lets him touch himself this time, so he strokes slowly, stopping whenever he feels close, only to have Jimin hit his prostate once again. No words are exchanged, but everytime Yoongi looks into Jimin's eyes he feels some new desire burning behind them, like there had been a shift at some point in the last few months that he had failed to notice.
‘I’m close, Yoongi-Hyung.’ Jimin murmurs, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Yoongi’s hair again.
‘Me too…’ Yoongi whimpers, trying to keep his voice even as Jimin somehow fucks him even harder. Yoongi is bouncing in Jimin's lap, circling his hips everytime he bottoms out, and it’s all too much.
‘Ah- I’m gonna cum baby.’ Jimin gasps, losing his pace. Yoongi nods, he’s going to finish too. Their bodies are impossibly close, so Jimin pulls away, wanting to watch the way Yoongi’s face contorts with pleasure as he spills between them. It seems to be what pushes Jimin over the edge, and he cums into the condom as he buries his cock deep inside of Yoongi.
It takes a few moments for them both to catch their breath, and true to his word, Jimin doesn’t pull away. When he’s calm enough, he leans in and kisses Yoongi all over, leaving gentle pecks on every single inch of his body that Jimin can reach. They clean up and lay back down, not bothering to put any more clothes on. Something between them is different, but this time it’s in a good way.
‘You know all those months ago when I was away and we missed each other so much?’ Jimin starts, he seems nervous about what it is he has to say so Yoongi gives him his full attention. ‘It feels like I never stopped missing you, because I was a dumbass and started something I didn’t know if I could finish.’
‘Do you still miss me now?’ Yoongi asks.
‘No.’ Jimin smiles, ‘and I want you to know that I regret the way I’ve treated you more than I regret that time I tried to eat every flavour of ice cream from Baskin Robbins at once.’
Yoongi laughs, ‘if it were anyone else, I wouldn’t forgive them. But it’s you, and I know you well enough to know that we could get through it.’ There’s silence for a few moments, and then Jimin takes a deep breath.
‘Yoongi-Hyung, I’m in love with you.’ He says, purposefully making eye contact. ‘I am so in love with you that sometimes I do things that hurt us both.’
‘Jimin don’t- don’t fuck with me.’
‘Hyung, I’m not.’ Jimin chuckles, but there are tears in his eyes and he’s struggling to keep it together, ‘I was so sad when we weren’t friends, and it made me realise that it wasn’t that I was sad we’d argued, I was sad that I couldn’t be honest about my feelings, not even to myself.’
‘Then why didn’t you tell me you brat?!’ Yoongi cries, unable to hold back his smile. His heart feels as if it will explode, or as if all of these months it had been a time-bomb ticking down to this moment.
‘I was going to, after that night in the club but I saw how broken you were, and it was all my fault. I thought if I told you to move on and you did, it was what I deserved for leaving it too late and hurting you all of those times.’ Jimin gasps as he talks, desperate to explain, ‘and the way I was the first time we were together was unforgivable Hyung, I just hadn’t expected to be so overwhelmed, I’d never felt that way with anyone and commitment is so so scary for me, you know that.’
‘I know, I’m-.’ Yoongi doesn’t know what to say, ‘Jiminie I love you too.’
‘I love you so much.’ Jimin returns, and this time he lets the tears fall from his eyes. They embrace, Jimin sobbing against Yoongi’s shoulder. ‘All this time, I was trying not to force my feelings on you, I was really good at hiding them and I wasn’t ever going to say anything until you called, and you said you and Min-Jun had broken up and-.’
‘It’s okay, Jimin.’ Yoongi soothes, ‘I mean, it’s not, and there’s still a lot to work through because oh my god you’re a mess, but, well, it’s going to be okay.’
‘Not yet.’ Jimin sniffles, ‘I-I need a few days to think, to make sure I’m not gonna hurt you because I couldn’t live with myself if I said all of this and then got frightened, I don’t think I will but I need time.’
‘As soon as I’m ready, I’ll let you know and then I’m gonna kiss you stupid and I’m gonna scream from the rooftops that I’m in love with you, Yoongi.’
Yoongi decides that he can wait a few more days, what is that compared to the five years he’d already spent waiting for this exact moment? He can only hope Jimin won’t take too long, but Yoongi understands why it’s necessary. A heat of the moment confession like his own had only led to pain, so it’s probably wise they take time to think about it, even though all Yoongi wants to do is call Jimin his.
Yoongi is leaving work a few days later when Jimin calls him.
‘Hyung, can you come pick me up from the studio?’ Jimin sing-songs down the phone.
‘Yeah, I’m just on my way out so I’ll be there soon.’
‘Okay! Come up to the practice room, I’ve got something for you.’ Jimin ends the call before Yoongi can ask any questions. He drives a little over the speed limit to be by Jimin's side.
He knows the layout of the studios well. Hoseok had shown him around back when Yoongi had studied at the university, and he had never forgotten the passcode needed to let himself in. Jimin usually danced on the third floor, so Yoongi jogs up the stairs and finds only one room with a light on.
Jimin is sitting on the floor, his face lights up as soon as he spots Yoongi. He’s a little sweaty and gross, his hair is tied up in a small ponytail and the tank top he’s wearing is damp to the touch. Nevertheless, Yoongi lets Jimin kiss him in greeting, and would never complain about that. Kissing was just something that they did now, even though they hadn’t technically started dating, neither of them could deny themselves such a simple pleasure.
‘Sit right here, Yoongi.’ Jimin demands, pointing to a chair he’d obviously laid out in the centre of the room. Yoongi does as he’s told.
The dance studio has a bluetooth system, so Jimin grabs his phone and an unfamiliar song starts playing. It’s a little funky, unlike Jimin’s usual taste in music but he takes his place in the centre of the room and starts dancing.
Jimin had always danced beautifully, and Yoongi had always told him so. His movements are precise and are always carried out with just the right amount of confidence.
Darling I’ve got my trust issues, pointing you stay away
Jimin brings his hands close to his chest, making himself smaller and then explodes into a spin, twirling across the room and taking up all of the space he deserves.
Time and toys may fill my heart with joy, I’ll know peace when I’m your lover boy
He smiles as he slows to the centre of the room, his expressions always reflecting the tone of the lyrics so perfectly. There’s a leap, and some erratic hand movements and some beautiful contemporary steps that Yoongi doesn’t understand well enough to appreciate, but it’s Jimin, so he knows they must be the epitome of precise.
The song finishes with a guitar riff and Jimin stops, looks up, and beams at Yoongi. He applauds, smiling too as Jimin rushes towards him. The dance is so unlike anything Jimin has performed before, and Yoongi thinks it suits him really well.
‘It’s for you.’ Jimin squeaks, blushing from the tips of his ears to his nose. ‘It’s the piece I’m going to dance for my final grade and it’s for you, Yoongi-Hyung.’
‘Uh-huh. It’s… Kind of silly, but my final grade is going to change my entire life, and you have too. So I wanted you to be a part of it, I choreographed it myself, and I’m trying to tell you that this is a roundabout way of asking you to be my boyfriend.’
‘Your what?’ Yoongi asks, needing Jimin to repeat. He didn’t mishear, did he?
‘Boyfriend.’ Jimin chuckles.
Yoongi gasps as if he hadn’t been expecting exactly that since Jimin had confessed.
‘I might need to think about that…’ Yoongi teases, unable to hide how hard he’s blushing, and how much he’s smiling.
‘Just say yes, otherwise I won’t kiss you.’ Jimin pouts. Yoongi doesn’t think he has to say yes, for him it had always been Jimin, and there had never been any doubt in his mind that if Jimin were to ask him that question, he would always say yes.
‘Fine, fine.’ Yoongi clears his throat, ‘I will gladly be yours, Jimin.’ Jimin’s lips are on his within seconds, and the entire universe stands still just like that.