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Do Not Disturb

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“What part of ‘There’s a Deathclaw over there’ did you miss, Deku?” Katsuki shouted, aiming his Broadsider at the roaring monster. Deku scrambled over the stack of junk in his path, sliding down it to get behind Katsuki and his portable naval canon. Once clear, Katsuki fired and the cannonball made contact, hitting the Deathclaw in the face. “Could you not keep your hands to yourself for five seconds?”

The monster batted the second cannonball out of its face and made a dive for the two. Katsuki dove to the left while Deku went right. The Deathclaw snapped its jaws between them and Katsuki smacked it with the butt of the Broadsider while Deku shot it in the eye with his Pipe Pistol.

“I can’t hear you, Deku!” Katsuki shouted again. He backed up to get a better shot with the canon. He was low on ammo and his own rifle wouldn’t do much better than the nerd’s souped-up Pipe Pistol. “Why’d you wake it up, dumbass?”

“I wanted the Nuka-Cola under its tail, okay?” Deku shouted. He roared as he rolled to the side and pulled a plasma grenade our of his jacket. The shrimp ran toward Katsuki and threw it over his shoulder, tackling Katsuki to the ground as the thing exploded behind them. Deku looked him in the eye from the ground and hissed, “It was a Victory, Kacchan! Nuka-Cola Victory!!”

Katsuki leaped to the side to avoid the claw slamming into the dirt between them.


A Nuka-Cola.

“Deku!” Katsuki kicked the Deathclaw in the face hard enough to make it yelp and jammed the end of his Broadsider into its teeth. He fired and the cannonball burst out the other side of the monster’s cheek. It shrieked and he smacked it over and over with the weapon. Eventually the monster stilled and Katsuki slammed his heel into the thing’s bashed skull and pointed at Deku, resting the Broadsider on his hip. “Are you telling me we almost died because of your stupid bottle collection?”

Deku put his pipe pistol way and wandered over, scratching the back of his hair. He pulled out the glowing bottle of Nuka-Cola Victory and held it between his hands, passing it back and forth with a tiny click of the glass against his ring.

The nerd cleared his throat and nodded at the Deathclaw. “You took care of that fast. I should have told you from the start if I knew it’d make you angry enough to kill it.”

Katsuki strut over to Deku and snatched the bottle. He popped off the cap and took a swig of the bright orange liquid, relishing Deku’s dropped jaw and aghast face.

The rads were worth it.

“Kacchan!” Deku made a grab for the bottle. “That’s mine!”

“Nope,” Katsuki said. He took another sip and grinned around the top. He tossed the bottle cap at Deku with a laugh. “You can keep that part.”

“No, Kacchan!” Deku shouted again. He tackled Katsuki, shoving the Broadsider out of the way. “I want to taste it.”

Katsuki kept the bottle out of reach. “This is what you get for putting a soda above common sense!”

The nerd narrowed his eyes. “I want it back.”

“Not going to happen,” Katsuki said. He chugged the rest of the drink, tipping it back to finish off every last drop. Nuka-Cherry tasted better, but nothing beat the sweet, sweet satisfaction of Deku’s frustrated face. Katsuki pulled the empty bottle back and shook it. “All gone.”

Deku kissed him.

The little brat grabbed his cheek and shoved his tongue into Katsuki’s mouth, licking up every bit of liquid remaining in his mouth. Deku moaned into it, sucking on his bottom lip twice before they parted.

“Nuka-Cherry tastes better,” Deku said with a grin. He grabbed the empty bottle and shoved it in his pack. “Let’s go back to base, Kacchan.”

Katsuki stayed put, slightly dazed as he recovered from Deku’s greedy kiss.

Just as Deku’s green hair disappeared down a hill, Katsuki remembered one more important thing: “Deku! Get back here! We still have to clean and scavenge the Deathclaw!”