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Breaking So Many of His Toys

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Hello! This is the sequel to my first Lucifer fanfic 'All of My Worlds Suck' You will want to read that first, seriously, as there's a rather important reveal in that one that plays hugely in this one. ;)

A bit of warning here - I haven't finished this story. I know where it's going to end up, but it's going to take a while to get there. It's at 35k at the moment... the way I write means this'll probably be 70k when it's done ;) Regardless, I took a break from this story a while ago and I'm now getting back into it. There are some awesome moments to come. It's in my usual style of silly and dark though, and it does get quite dark and quite silly.

It also involves the entire cast. And I mean, even more entirely than the last one. :)

Let me know what you think, if you get the chance, and thanks for reading!


Chloe stared up at a ceiling of blue fabric.

And frowned.

"Lucifer?"

"Mmm?"

"What are you doing?"

"Updating insta."

"Lucifer."

"Yes?"

"How? We're in a tent in the middle of nowhere and last I checked I had negative bars. My phone was practically weeping."

Lucifer shuffled beside her and a white, rounded box the size and depth of a thick wallet appeared before her face.

"Satellite receiver. Little gift from Elon after a fun night out. Hooks up to his personal network. Lovely reception, amazing speed. Smile."

A phone appeared and her vision was obliterated by a nuclear flash.

She sighed.

"Lucifer."

"Chloe," he answered, mimicking her tone.

"I don't think you get the concept of camping."

"I'm not lying on a bed, darling. I thought that's what camping was."

Chloe shifted in the sleeping bag to face him. Propping her head on her hand, she tried to blink away the afterimage of the flash.

"Camping is more than 'not lying on a bed'!"

"Oh?" he murmured, turning to face her. The smile he gave her was mischievous in the muted glow of his phone, and his dark eyes held faint embers of flame. "Do tell?"

Rolling her eyes, she grabbed his phone.

"It's about nature, and getting away from things like this," she waggled the phone, before tucking it under the mat behind her, "looking at the stars, and listening to the world breathe, and-"

Lucifer snorted over her. "Listening to the world breathe? What, like a four-billion-year-old asthmatic?" He tsked, and lifted his hand. "Phone?"

"No, not until you promise to turn it off for the rest of the trip."

"The rest of the trip?! Two weeks?!"

"Uh-huh, 13 days now and..." she tilted her head with a smirk, "...four hours for the trip back I think?"

He made a noise of pain. "Absolutely not."

"Then no sex," Chloe said, grinning at him. "Sex or phone. Choose."

"You're blackmailing me to keep me off the phone?!"

She nodded, absolutely confident of her power in this particular situation. "I am."

"Mmmm," he murmured, and the smile returned. "I like. Sex then. But only if that's all we do."

"What?! Wait, you can't turn this back on me!"

"I can and just did. Sex for the whole trip. It's a very natural thing, and you wanted nature."

"Nature as in trees, and mountain views, and animals, Lucifer, not-"

"I can be an animal." He flashed a lustful grin and raised an appreciative eyebrow. "As can you, it turns out."

"Oh my God," she giggled, "not for the whole trip. We have an itinerary!"

"A week then, final offer."

"Three days."

"Deal."

"Deal?" she squeaked. She really hadn't thought he'd agree so readily.

"Oh yes. Now," he growled. "My tongue, wherever shall I put it?"

"Lucifer!" she gasped, as his hand circled her lower back. "We can't have three days of sex right now. We have to sleep!"

"Sleep? What is this sleep business? I think you misunderstood me. Three days of non-stop sex, starting now."

"Oh my God, I'm going to die."

"Yes," he purred, sinking into the sleeping bag. "Many, many, little deaths."

His artful hands danced over her skin, rolling her gently onto her back as he lowered further still.

"Oh, Lucifer, oh Hell, oh!"

And his tongue went somewhere very good indeed.