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no one is lost

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Momiji always felt it was something sacred to see someone completely undone during sex. He thought it might be the most beautiful thing.

They had sat a little close on the sofa. Momiji budged even closer to see Ritsu typing in addresses of bars and hangouts into his phone. At one point, he took the phone from him and and typed in his own number. “It’s a shame we don’t see each other anymore,” he’d said.

They  talked for a long time. Momiji told Ritsu about his life. He told him about university and coming out. He talked about the boys he’d loved, and the girls too. He admitted how he had loved Tohru. How loving her had been enough on its own.  He told Ritsu about his parents, how his mother knew him again now. He even spoke of the bitterness he didn’t like to admit in himself. The part of himself that couldn’t quite forgive her for her weakness.

Ritsu in turn talked about his family. He couldn’t come out to his parents. It wasn’t a possibility for him. They wouldn’t understand it and there were already too many things about him that they didn’t understand. He talked about feeling selfish but wanting to take just this secret thing for himself. He didn’t know what he would do when his parents wanted him to marry. He seemed hopeless when he said that. His words ended in a full stop. Momiji wanted to erase that, put an ellipsis instead, but what power did he have to do that? Ritsu also talked about being a boy and liking boys. He laughed when he talked of his occasional moments of joy,  when boys would call him pretty and it would make his heart hope for months on end.

In the end, Ritsu had given the cue and Momiji had taken it. They had finished talking. Ritsu looked at  him with an expression that was familiar, but not from him. Momiji cupped his jaw, drawing him closer, and kissed him softly on the corner of his mouth. The effect was immediate, like something coiled  had been released. Ritsu turned to him fully and kissed him. His hands were nervous, inexperienced. He tried to figure out where on Momiji’s body to hold him. Momiji took his wrists and placed them on his hips. He looped his arms around Ritsu’s neck, pulling him down to bear over him.

“Are you okay with this?” he made sure between kisses. “Tell me to stop any time if you need to stop.”

Ritsu nodded, closing the gap between them once more. He pressed more and more of himself onto Momiji, pinning him down to the sofa while Momiji luxuriated in the pleasure of the weight of it. Momiji moved his kisses down Ritsu’s jawline, down his neck, pressing in there and nipping ever so gently as the skin. The moan Ritsu made in return sent a jolt of electricity through Momiji’s whole body.

In the end, it was a little clumsy but there was a warmth to it that was wonderful. Ritsu’s leant back into the sofa cushions, his thighs either side of Momiji’s head as Momiji  slowly licked up and down his cock. There was no rush to it as Momiji took his tip into his mouth, circling the head with his tongue. Ritsu made a noise up in his throat, his hand finding Momiji’s bare neck. He adjusted his hold and  tangled his fingers in his hair. Momiji looked up at him, taking in the beauty of him. He loved it. He loved the privilege of someone relying on him for their pleasure. He loved to be wanted, to be able to have this effect on someone. 

Momiji dropped his gaze and took more of his shaft into his mouth. He let his fingertips graze Ritsu’s inner thighs as he worked his length. He moved one hand to cup Ritsu’s balls. He dropped the other between his own legs where he was kneeling on the floor. He dipped his hand under the waistband of his  underwear. He felt his own cock and began to stroke it gently. 

Ritsu made sounds like he was getting close. Momiji took his cock from his mouth and climbed on top of him on the sofa, pushing him back into the cushions. He shimmied out of his underwear, laughing at the awkwardness of the angle he was trying to do it from. He caught Ritsu’s eye and the older man laughed too. He looked beautiful when he laughed. His face was flushed with alcohol and arousal. His long hair lay loose beneath him. Momiji straddled him. He leant over him and kissed him, rocking his hips achingly slowly as he did so in order that their cocks lightly brushed against one another. A fizzle of pleasure went through him and Momiji had to resist the urge to grind against him harder and faster.

Ritsu fumbled between their naked bodies to find Momiji’s cock. Momiji took his hand and helped guide him to  it. He stroked it. “Faster,” Momiji whispered close to his ear, closing his eyes at the sensation. He found Ritsu’s cock with his own hand and began moving his hand in synch with the older man.

Soon, he could feel warmth coil in his belly as his orgasm built. Ritsu was moaning with each breath. 

“I’m going to come,” Momiji gasped, and that was enough to tip Ritsu over the edge. He came in between them, and Momiji came almost immediately after, the waves of pleasure overtaking him. He kissed Ritsu hard, moaning his orgasm against his lips.

After that, Momiji showed Ritsu where he could have a shower and get cleaned up. He made his bed for him to stay the night. Ritsu was a little shy then. He wore the long t-shirt Momiji lent him to sleep in. He fell asleep quickly, perhaps a little befuddled about what to say. Momiji watched him for a little while before turning off the light and going to sleep himself.

Even if it was just a one-time thing, it was good, he thought. To be able to be a part of the world and be with people like this. To be vulnerable and open with a person. That was the most beautiful thing, he thought.