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'cause you're the one i got.

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[dreamsmp3 created a group] 

 

dreamsmp3: is this thing on

 

ceo.ofpiano: omg

 

prideandprejudice2005: Is this all of us?

 

burninghill: AYO

 

goldfinches: Oh, hell. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh hellooo theo >:^)

 

dreamsmp3: catfight? so early? 

 

goldfinches: Catfight? Really, Boris?

 

ribsbylorde: don’t make me tap the sign

 

strawberryblondmp3: no flirting in the chat lads

 

burninghill: LAURIEEE NOO

 

ribsbylorde: i’m fucking dead holy shit

 

ceo.ofpiano: you did it! you killed him!

 

dreamsmp3: you are all so annoying

 

ceo.oflesbian: boris. you are lucky i am so merciful. 

 

goldfinches: What in the hell are you guys talking about?

 

ribsbylorde: ahem. 

 

ribsbylorde: boomer. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: boom roasted

 

goldfinches: I will leave. I’ll do it.

 

strawberryblondmp3: :(

 

dreamsmp3: don’t do that to laurie!

 

prideandprejudice2005: (Don’t do that to Boris.)

 

ribsbylorde: MEG. 

 

burninghill: PLEASE. do not do this to me tonight

 

ceo.oflesbian: yuh oh. we coming out on main?

 

ceo.ofpiano: eduardo didn’t come out? 

 

burninghill: EDUARDO DIDN’T COME OUT. 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Oh, so that’s allowed? We’re allowing that? 

 

dreamsmp3: is tuesday night?

 

burninghill: boris you cannot be drunk

 

dreamsmp3: no! what i cannot make a joke?

 

goldfinches: Stop talking about that movie. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: boo hoo

 

strawberryblondmp3: anyone in this thread smoke weed

 

prideandprejudice2005: No one answer that. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: drugs are bad for you!

 

ribsbylorde: really?

 

goldfinches: Had no idea. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo isn’t allowed to talk to beth anymore i’ve just decided 

 

goldfinches: I was joking!

 

ceo.oflesbian: gun emoji stay back slut 

 

dreamsmp3: theo is not a slut

 

goldfinches: Thanks for defending my honor, Boris. 

 

dreamsmp3: of course! what else are friends for?

 

burninghill: huh? what? where am i. 

 

ribsbylorde: jesus 

 

ceo.ofpiano: pfffffft

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris you’re such a genuine motherfucker 

 

dreamsmp3: thank you!

 

ribsbylorde: HAAA

 

strawberryblondmp3: see what i mean!

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes yes we all love boris

 

dreamsmp3: oh! i love all of you too! 

 

ceo.ofpiano: awe

 

ribsbylorde: all of us…. like every one of us…..

 

prideandprejudice2005: That is intentionally leading!

 

goldfinches: What is that leading into?

 

burninghill: none of you say a fucking word

 

dreamsmp3: huh?

 

goldfinches: I think they’re conspiring against us, Boris. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: we would never 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i would

 

strawberryblondmp3: we (jo excluded) would never 

 

ribsbylorde: jo isn’t that homophobic 

 

burninghill: AMYYY

 

burninghill: PLEASE

 

ribsbylorde: boris isn’t straight!

 

dreamsmp3: this is true

 

burninghill: yes but you know that’s not what you meant >:(

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think it’s about time we have this conversation…..

 

strawberryblondmp3: and we’re moving on

 

prideandprejudice2005: We can do this another day.  

 

goldfinches: I don’t like what any of you are suggesting. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: this groupchat has barely existed for an hour and it’s already a mess. i love it

 

ribsbylorde: you’re welcome!

 

ceo.oflesbian: hey i deserve a little credit

 

ceo.ofpiano: as a treat

 

strawberryblondmp3: as a treat

 

ceo.ofpiano: AYYYYY

 

dreamsmp3: nice

 

prideandprejudice2005: Nice. 

 

ribsbylorde: nice 

 

goldfinches: I have work tomorrow. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: goodnight theo !!

 

strawberryblondmp3: we’ll keep an eye on boris

 

ceo.oflesbian: no promises 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Talk to you tomorrow, Theo. I should probably turn in too. 

 

burninghill: awe :( goodnight you guys

 

[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches]

 

dreamsmp3: you okay potter?

 

goldfinches: Yes, I’m fine. I do actually have work in the morning. 

 

dreamsmp3: just making sure! goodnight potter! love you 

 

goldfinches: You too. 

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]

 

goldfinches: Remind me to talk to you about something tomorrow. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay weirdo

 

ceo.ofpiano: sleep well! <3

 

goldfinches: :) <3

 

[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]

 

dreamsmp3: is normal to tell friends i love you right?

 

strawberryblondmp3: absolutely

 

dreamsmp3: okay that is what i thought 

 

strawberryblondmp3: if you’re looking for advice on how to behave like a human i’d suggest going to meg she’s much more well adjusted 

 

dreamsmp3: haha

 

dreamsmp3: you don’t give yourself enough credit you are a very good man 

 

strawberryblondmp3: thank you boris :’’

 

dreamsmp3: talk to you tomorrow laurie!

 

strawberryblondmp3: talk to you tomorrow :)

 

__________

 

[ribsbylorde + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ribsbylorde: baby

 

ribsbylorde: dear

 

ribsbylorde: love of my life

 

ribsbylorde: i can hear you playing music and like. are you okay 

 

strawberryblondmp3: YES i’m fine just working on a playlist 

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh my phone is connected to the speaker. that is why. 

 

ribsbylorde: dummy. what kind of playlist?

 

strawberryblondmp3: uh….. maybe a um… makeout type of playlist 

 

ribsbylorde: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE PREDATORY WASP OF THE PALISADES IS OUT TO GET US! THEN?????????

 

strawberryblondmp3: because it’s about the vibes? perfect makeout song

 

ribsbylorde: that is such a garbage opinion 

 

strawberryblondmp3: GARBAGE?

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

strawberryblondmp3: settling this once and for all

 

ribsbylorde: oh my god

 

strawberryblondmp3: best makeout song go

 

ribsbylorde: most other songs besides what you suggested 

 

strawberryblondmp3: come here and say that to my face!

 

ribsbylorde: i’m painting i am busy

 

ceo.ofpiano: you said predatory wasps didn’t you 

 

strawberryblondmp3: :/

 

ceo.ofpiano: :/

 

dreamsmp3: after hours by velvet underground. easy. 

 

ribsbylorde: boooooo

 

dreamsmp3: what?!

 

ribsbylorde: that song is so sad!

 

prideandprejudice2005: You guys are making out to music? Grow up. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: WE GET IT YOU’RE MARRIED

 

burninghill: marceline by willow 

 

ceo.ofpiano: you touch my hair i’m playing on your bass…. 

 

dreamsmp3: that’s a euphemism, right? i’m not crazy or gross?

 

strawberryblondmp3: not in this case no

 

burninghill: PFFFT

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo’s gonna beat your ass

 

ceo.ofpiano: shhhhh

 

strawberryblondmp3: honestly i would like to see him try. 

 

prideandprejudjce2005: He could. 

 

ribsbylorde: he could

 

dreamsmp3: he could

 

strawberryblondmp3: BORIS

 

ceo.ofpiano: AKSHDHSJAK

 

ceo.oflesbian: betrayal!

 

dreamsmp3: he called me crazy and gross did he not

 

goldfinches: Hobie wants to know what’s making my phone have a seizure. 

 

goldfinches: I would never fight Laurie. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i have one friend in this chat apparently 

 

goldfinches: Slow down. You did call Boris crazy and gross. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: IT WAS A JOKE

 

strawberryblondmp3: i can’t stand you people 

 

dreamsmp3: thank you potter :)

 

ribsbylorde: i can’t believe none of you have said i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

 

ceo.ofpiano: ooooo

 

goldfinches: Wait, I don’t like the name of this group. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh i forgot you’re straight 

 

ribsbylorde: ABSOLUTE CRICKETS

 

burninghill: JOOOOOOO

 

strawberryblondmp3: zoinks

 

prideandprejudice2005: Well Jo, at least you’re trying. I guess. 

 

burninghill: this chat has aged me ten years

 

ceo.ofpiano: wait theo come back

 

goldfinches: Yes?

 

ceo.ofpiano: say hi to hobie and popchyk for me please!

 

burninghill: me too

 

dreamsmp3: me as well

 

goldfinches: Hobie says hi, and he hopes you’re all doing well. 

 

dreamsmp3: what did popchyk say

 

goldfinches: Boris he’s a dog. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: what did popchyk say

 

ceo.oflesbian: what did popchyk say

 

ribsbylorde: what did popchyk say

 

strawberryblondmp3: what did popchyk say

 

burninghill: what did popchyk say

 

prideandprejudice2005: What did Popchyk say?

 

goldfinches: You guys are rude. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: OKAY THEO. 

 

ribsbylorde: me when i’m throwing stones in glass houses 

 

burninghill: jesus christ 

 

dreamsmp3: awe potter chin up

 

goldfinches: I have to get back to work. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: pet popchyk lots for me :)

 

burninghill: make hobie bake some gingerbread 

 

dreamsmp3: tell popchyk i love him!

 

goldfinches: Do you guys like the dog more than you like me?

 

dreamsmp3: i love you too potter you know this

 

ribsbylorde: i am looking away i am looking away

 

ceo.ofpiano: i love not being able to read

 

burninghill: so close…..

 

strawberryblondmp3: yes this is all very exciting but none of you answered my question 

 

burninghill: first of all i did

 

ribsbylorde: as did i

 

dreamsmp3: amy boo’d me

 

ribsbylorde: i also did that

 

ceo.oflesbian: like real people do by hozier….. you guys have no taste

 

ribsbylorde: oh that song….

 

prideandprejudice2005: A good makeout song needs to be slow, tender, and romantic but not in a sad way. It needs to put you in the mood without being outright horny. 

 

ribsbylorde: i LOVE seeing my older sister say horny

 

prideandprejudice2005: But am I wrong?

 

ribsbylorde: no :/

 

strawberryblondmp3: meg you’re so wise

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay but that’s not news

 

ceo.ofpiano: meg could do or say anything and we’d all be like heart eyes 

 

burninghill: as we should

 

[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]

 

ceo.ofpiano: hey what were you going to talk to me about?

 

goldfinches: Oh, right. 

 

goldfinches: Is it normal for friends to say “I love you” to each other?

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo….. yes absolutely 

 

ceo.ofpiano: it’s normal to say i love you to anyone you love. it’s not just for significant others and family

 

goldfinches: Oh, okay. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: for example, i love you, but i’m obviously not in love with you. you and boris and pippa love hobie. we all love boris. love is everywhere theo and it’s okay to say it!

 

goldfinches: Thank you, Beth. 

 

goldfinches: I love you, too. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i know! get back to work doofus

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: do you think pippa likes meg more than she likes me

 

strawberryblondmp3: HUH??

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo no offense love you lots but WHERE did you get that idea

 

ceo.oflesbian: as we should….

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo….

 

strawberryblondmp3: it’s not like we were all talking about how much we love meg

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up

 

strawberryblondmp3: why do you care so much anyways 

 

strawberryblondmp3: WAIT

 

strawberryblondmp3: are you…. do you…….

 

ceo.oflesbian: MAYBE BUT LIKE YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE

 

strawberryblondmp3: of course not!!

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

strawberryblondmp3: what good is a makeout playlist without anyone to make out with though

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh fuck you

 

prideandprejudice2005: Sorry, I can‘t relate. 

 

ribsbylorde: ….. laurie also can’t relate what the fuck

 

burninghill: must you three always remind the rest of us that we’re single?

 

dreamsmp3: we will all find love someday!

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay but jo hates the idea of having to share their time with anyone

 

ceo.oflesbian: well. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: idk

 

ceo.oflesbian: when i thought i was attracted to men i did. but women are objectively better on every level so i don’t really hate the idea anymore i guess

 

strawberryblondmp3: interesting…. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up

 

burninghill: character growth 

 

prideandprejudice2005: I love my husband but Jo is kind of right. 

 

burninghill: women are pretty great

 

ceo.ofpiano: yeah

 

dreamsmp3: yeah

 

ribsbylorde: yeah

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo has left the chat

 

ribsbylorde: SHUT UPP

 

ceo.oflesbian: i will once he stops hating women 

 

ribsbylorde: i don’t want to say it but you’re giving me no other choice 

 

burninghill: AMY NO

 

ribsbylorde: i’m just saying like 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Oh my god. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: let‘s not 

 

burninghill: thank you beth you’re doing amazing sweetie 

 

ceo.ofpiano: :)

 

[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: hate to do this but i know boris talks to you about theo

 

ceo.ofpiano: i would like to compare notes

 

strawberryblondmp3: i have no idea what you’re talking about 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i may be small but i am not dumb

 

strawberryblondmp3: never suggested such a thing. what did theo say this time?

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay he asked me if it was normal for friends to say i love you to each other which is honestly just really sad 

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris asked me the same thing….

 

ceo.ofpiano: I HATE IT HERE

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh you know how boris said after hours for best makeout song?

 

ceo.ofpiano: yes 

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo introduced him to that band SPECIFICALLY through that song

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh :’’

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris be like yes i love men no i will not admit i’m in love with theo 

 

ceo.ofpiano: PFFT SHUT UP

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo does make me kind of sad sometimes though. like he knows literally everyone in his life would accept him but he can’t accept himself and it’s just :((

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh please don’t make me sad about theo 

 

strawberryblondmp3: as much as we joke i hope he trusts us enough to come out on his own terms

 

ceo.ofpiano: he does and he will :( he just needs time

 

ceo.ofpiano: boris has no excuse though

 

strawberryblondmp3: HE REALLY DOESN’T

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: hey

 

ceo.oflesbian: hello

 

burninghill: read any good books lately?

 

burninghill: meg hasn’t had time to read because she’s “busy” with her “kids” and her “job”

 

ceo.oflesbian: sksksksk

 

burninghill: and i know you have really good taste! in books and everything else 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh tysm :’)

 

ceo.oflesbian: boris made me read the idiot and i really liked it

 

ceo.oflesbian: it’s kind of fucked up but it’s boris. so. 

 

burninghill: oh yeah i’ve been meaning to read that!

 

ceo.oflesbian: the song of achilles

 

ceo.oflesbian: is also a really good book that you should read

 

burninghill: i’m sure it is!! well i trust you :) i’ll report back when i’ve finished at least the idiot 

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay cool :) enjoy

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: FEELING VERY I WILL BY MITSKI RIGHT NOW

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh my god what happened 

 

[ceo.oflesbian sent a photo]

 

strawberryblondmp3: AWWWWW

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up shut up be quiet shut up

 

strawberryblondmp3: okay but she’s also a lesbian she has to know what she’s doing 

 

ceo.oflesbian: some of us are normal 

 

strawberryblondmp3: but is she

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think so

 

strawberryblondmp3: i will wash your hair at night and dry it off with care i will see your body bare and still i will live here


ceo.oflesbian:
lesbophobe

 

strawberryblondmp3: go to bed love xx try not to yearn too hard

 

ceo.oflesbian: SHUT UP!!

Chapter Text

[group: mitski fan club]

 

ceo.ofpiano: my baby my baby you're my baby say it to me :( baby my baby tell your baby that i’m your baby :(

 

prideandprejudice2005: Is all we do listen to Mitski?

 

strawberryblondmp3: I KNOW THEY’RE LOSING AND I PAY FOR MY PLACE

 

ceo.ofpiano: oof ouch

 

strawberryblondmp3: can we talk about i will

 

ceo.oflesbian: NO

 

goldfinches: Please no. 

 

ribsbylorde: wait everyone be quiet they agreed on something 

 

dreamsmp3: i’m more of a “please hurry leave me i can’t breathe please don’t say you love me” man myself 

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh of course you are

 

ceo.ofpiano: one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i’m on baby :/

 

dreamsmp3: yes precisely 

 

strawberryblondmp3: is ANYONE else seeing this

 

ceo.oflesbian: i was so young when i behaved twenty-five

 

prideandprejudice2005: Yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child. 

 

goldfinches: What the hell are you guys saying? 

 

ceo.oflesbian: develop some taste

 

dreamsmp3: i do have to agree with jo

 

goldfinches: Boris. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: THAT ONE HAS GOTTA STING 

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh no

 

ribsbylorde: um

 

burninghill: oh you’re all so dramatic 

 

strawberryblondmp3: we were talking about mitski what did you expect 

 

[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo

 

ceo.ofpiano: you know it’s not a big deal right

 

goldfinches: Boris is free to think and say what he wants. I don’t care. 

 

goldfinches: And I don’t hate Jo. If he agrees with them, that’s just his opinion. It was all a joke anyways. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: yeah but like

 

ceo.ofpiano: are you. okay?

 

goldfinches: Why wouldn’t I be?

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo :/

 

[ceo.ofpiano + ceo.oflesbian]

 

ceo.ofpiano: jo that was rude

 

ceo.oflesbian: what!

 

ceo.ofpiano: you know how theo is about boris

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m not coddling his feelings beth he’s a fucking grown up

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m not saying you have to coddle him! but you can be considerate!

 

ceo.oflesbian: ugh

 

ceo.ofpiano: jo

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay i feel a little bad but i’m not apologizing to him and it’s not up to me to tiptoe around his repression 

 

ceo.oflesbian: but yeah i guess i didn’t have to say that and i did just want to be mean

 

ceo.ofpiano: thank you :) i love you

 

ceo.oflesbian: love you forever never make me feel bad for being mean to theo again xx

 

[strawberryblondmp3 + ceo.ofpiano] 

 

strawberryblondmp3: can we talk about “Boris.” ?? i would like to talk about “Boris.” 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i can’t do this for much longer 

 

ceo.ofpiano: he was like “i don’t care” but ALSO BORIS. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: *theo voice* i’m not gay but if my boyfriend doesn’t agree with me i will pout about it

 

ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE

 

strawberryblondmp3: did i lie?

 

ceo.ofpiano: god they are so fucking annoying

 

strawberryblondmp3: gay people often are :(

 

ceo.ofpiano: BE QUIET SKJDDJSK

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

ribsbylorde: we all need to meet up again soon

 

ribsbylorde: i can fly to new york any time

 

burninghill: oh yes!! i do miss hobie and the shop so much 

 

burninghill: and all of you of course

 

dreamsmp3: yes! excellent idea!

 

ceo.ofpiano: !!!!!!!!!!

 

strawberryblondmp3: i agree with boris that’s an excellent idea 

 

ceo.oflesbian: beth are you alright to travel?

 

prideandprejudice2005: That’s a fair point. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh it’s an hour flight 

 

ceo.oflesbian: do you have the money for a plane ticket tho

 

dreamsmp3: i’ll pay! 

 

ceo.ofpiano: boris you absolutely don’t have to do that

 

dreamsmp3: i’m happy to! my gift for being such a good friend to me

 

goldfinches: He won’t back down. I suggest you just let him do it, Beth. 

 

burninghill: yeah it’s either that or he buys you some $30k necklace while you’re here

 

dreamsmp3: that was not me that was potter

 

goldfinches: Can we please not talk about that?

 

strawberryblondmp3: i’m sorry theo you what. 

 

goldfinches: I didn't pay market price for it!

 

ribsbylorde: oh my god

 

burninghill: it was a hypothetical i wasn’t making fun of theo :(

 

ceo.oflesbian: you don’t need to defend him it’s okay 

 

prideandprejudice2005: I’m sure I can find a weekend to take off of work. 

 

dreamsmp3: i’ll cover your ticket as well meg!

 

ceo.ofpiano: boris you’re insane i love you

 

goldfinches: That seems to be the general consensus. 

 

ribsbylorde: awe

 

strawberryblondmp3: amy and i can meet up with pippa in london and we can all fly out together

 

burninghill: yes that’ll be a lot of fun

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo it’s on SIGHT

 

goldfinches: Yes, I know. 

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3] 

 

ceo.oflesbian: teddy teddy i can’t see her in person 

 

strawberryblondmp3: yes you CAN

 

strawberryblondmp3: you’re strong and smart and cool as hell

 

ceo.oflesbian: teddyyyyyy

 

strawberryblondmp3: calm down you baby

 

ceo.oflesbian: what if i embarrass myself or say something stupid or too mean and she hates me forever oh god oh god

 

strawberryblondmp3: well i think any girl would be lucky to have you, and you should stop worrying so much 

 

ceo.oflesbian: but listen i am ANNOYING and RUDE

 

strawberryblondmp3: that’s why we love you 

 

[prideandprejudice2005 + dreamsmp3]

 

prideandprejudice2005: Thank you so much for offering to pay for Beth and I’s tickets. 

 

dreamsmp3: i intend to make good on that offer! and is no big deal, love you both, why would i not?

 

prideandprejudice2005: You’re wonderful, Boris. 

 

dreamsmp3: so are you and your siblings!

 

prideandprejudice2005: Oh, about that. I’m sorry for what Jo says about Theo. I know it’s rude but none of us can seem to get them to stop. 

 

dreamsmp3: oh i don’t mind, potter can be… thick in the head, no?

 

prideandprejudice2005: Sometimes. 

 

prideandprejudice2005: He’s lucky to have you as a friend, though. We all are. 

 

dreamsmp3: sometimes i think he would disagree

 

prideandprejudice2005: Well, we already agreed that he can be stupid. 

 

dreamsmp3: that he can be :)

 

[ceo.ofpiano + dreamsmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: thank u boris!!

 

dreamsmp3: it’s really no big deal

 

ceo.ofpiano: i am Very excited to see everyone again

 

dreamsmp3: me too! have not hung out all together yet right?

 

ceo.ofpiano: omg you’re right…. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i can’t wait to see the Absolute Chaos of it all. jo might literally try to box theo

 

dreamsmp3: let them. maybe theo needs to be knocked around a little bit

 

ceo.ofpiano: yeah. he really does sometimes.

 

dreamsmp3: i don’t want to talk bad about him, he’s my best friend, but sometimes i wish he was not so “theo” i guess

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh i totally get what you mean. if he didn’t have us two he’d be a total disaster

 

dreamsmp3: he was, before i came back. and even after for a little bit

 

ceo.ofpiano: we’re all kind of a mess, in our own ways

 

dreamsmp3: yeah :)

 

ceo.ofpiano: :) xx

Chapter Text

[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches] 

 

dreamsmp3: i’m in town, are you free?

 

goldfinches: After work, yes. 

 

dreamsmp3: i‘ll pick you up at the shop then! can say hi to the dog and your old poofter 

 

goldfinches: I wish you wouldn’t call him that. 

 

dreamsmp3: bah

 

dreamsmp3: see you at 6?

 

goldfinches: You know it. 

 

dreamsmp3: don’t make any plans for the morning!!

 

goldfinches: I’m sticking to booze tonight, thanks. 

 

dreamsmp3: it’s so funny that you think you can say no to me

 

dreamsmp3: we have discussed my irresistible charm

 

goldfinches: Boris, don’t. 

 

dreamsmp3: ha! i’ll see you tonight potter

 

goldfinches: Yeah, see you. 

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]

 

goldfinches: I’m going out with Boris tonight. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: like… on a date?

 

goldfinches: No. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: lmao my bad

 

ceo.ofpiano: so what’s the problem

 

goldfinches: There’s no problem. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: then why ?

 

goldfinches: I don‘t know. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: take your time love 

 

goldfinches: What if he thinks it’s a date?

 

ceo.ofpiano: you guys go out together all the time, i don’t think he does? he always wants to hang out when he’s in town

 

goldfinches: Okay, but. What if I sort of want it to be a date?

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh theo

 

goldfinches: I really enjoy the time we spend together, and sometimes I want it to mean more. But I get sick if I think about it for too long. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo :(

 

goldfinches: He deserves better. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: you’re wonderful and he’d be lucky to have you

 

goldfinches: He probably doesn’t even want me. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: why don’t you let him decide that?

 

[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]

 

dreamsmp3: laurie. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: what’s up dude

 

dreamsmp3: i’m going out with potter tonight 

 

strawberryblondmp3: eye emoji oh?

 

dreamsmp3: i

 

dreamsmp3: i think. i like him more than i admit. a lot more 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i love you so much but i know dude

 

dreamsmp3: yeah i thought so

 

strawberryblondmp3: just have a fun night out on the town with your boy and don’t worry about feelings and stuff!

 

dreamsmp3: he is not mine

 

strawberryblondmp3: not yet ;)

 

dreamsmp3: hmph

 

[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE

 

strawberryblondmp3: BETH

 

ceo.ofpiano: you will not. BELIEVE. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: NEITHER WILL YOU

 

ceo.ofpiano: i won’t?

 

strawberryblondmp3: wait

 

strawberryblondmp3: NO WAY

 

ceo.ofpiano: TELL ME BORIS DIDN’T JUST ADMIT TO BEING IN LOVE WITH THEO

 

[strawberryblondmp3 sent a photo]

 

[ceo.ofpiano sent a photo]

 

ceo.ofpiano: i can’t do this

 

strawberryblondmp3: did theo say some repressed shit after that

 

ceo.ofpiano: yes but be quiet

 

strawberryblondmp3: this is awful we can’t even do anything we just have to wait. and hope. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: laurie they’re both so stupid….

 

strawberryblondmp3: i can’t believe i’m about to say this but we have to let theo deal with his own emotions

 

ceo.ofpiano: gagging noises 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i know

 

[group: mitski fan club] 

 

ceo.oflesbian: hhh girls

 

ceo.ofpiano: agreed

 

burninghill: i second jo’s statement

 

ceo.oflesbian: wrong chat but thanks for the support guys 

 

ceo.ofpiano: who else are you talking about girls with :(

 

strawberryblondmp3: yeah jo who

 

ceo.oflesbian: you guys suck

 

ribsbylorde: oh are we talking about girls?

 

strawberryblondmp3: i‘ve been dying to talk about girls 

 

burninghill: i wish i had A girl to talk about…. My Girl……

 

strawberryblondmp3: hmm look closer

 

ceo.oflesbian: teddy

 

[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]

 

ceo.ofpiano: AWE

 

ceo.oflesbian: why are your guys’ faces pressed together like that-

 

ribsbylorde: LOOK AT THEO’S SMILEEE

 

strawberryblondmp3: i personally enjoy how boris’s hand is splayed across half of theo’s face

 

ceo.ofpiano: yes very good

 

burninghill: ARE YOU GUYS BLASTED IN HOBIE’S KITCHEN???

 

ceo.oflesbian: HA

 

prideandprejudice2005: What in the world is going on??

 

burninghill: i think boys incorporated got zooted in our dad’s kitchen

 

ribsbylorde: i love the way you say things

 

ceo.oflesbian: sigh so dreamy

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh?

 

ceo.ofpiano: i’m sorry i personally am not done talking about that picture 

 

burninghill: that’s the happiest i’ve ever seen theo and i went to his engagement party 

 

ribsbylorde: LMAO

 

prideandprejudice2005: It’s almost sickeningly adorable. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: almost?

 

ceo.oflesbian: me and the bestie

 

ribsbylorde: JO

 

ceo.ofpiano: a couple of bestiessss

 

burninghill: i think we should be careful about what we say since they aren’t here to defend themselves 

 

strawberryblondmp3: someone save that picture before one of them deletes it from the chat

 

ceo.ofpiano: already did!

 

burninghill: why do i even try omg

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]

 

goldfinches: Bethh

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh boy hello theo my dear

 

goldfinches: Boris is

 

ceo.ofpiano: keeping an eye on you i hope

 

goldfinches: I shouldn’t have thought about liking him because it’s all I can think about now and I’m ruining the night because I just keep looking at him and he thinks I’m weird and insane.

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo i think you’re just really drunk

 

goldfinches: Yeah.

 

goldfinches: I don’t know what it feels like to be in love but sometimes around him.

 

ceo.ofpiano: okayyy i think you need to stop talking before you say something you’ll regret. enjoy the rest of your night and drink some water okay? love you lots theo

 

goldfinches: I love you too Beth. You are a wonderful friend.

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh i know

 

[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: i don’t know what it feels like to be in love but sometimes around him.

 

strawberryblondmp3: are you straight now???

 

ceo.ofpiano: ew no

 

strawberryblondmp3: omg it couldn’t be… 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i told him to shut up and drink some water

 

strawberryblondmp3: *thinks very hard about “but sometimes around him” for the rest of my life*

 

ceo.ofpiano: LITERALLY

 

ceo.ofpiano: i hate that that man has the ability to possess such tenderness

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo not repressing an emotion call the fucking press

 

ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: from one lesbian to another

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes

 

burninghill: do you ever. feel bad for not liking men? and then convince yourself you must like at least one even though you definitely don’t?

 

ceo.oflesbian: uh yes that’s why laurie and i weren’t talking for a bit

 

burninghill: not to give into the pressures of society but sometimes i feel terrible for not loving theo because i feel like it would make everything so much easier for him. even though that’s dumb because it’s not my responsibility to make him feel better???

 

ceo.oflesbian: yeah also he sucks

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m sorry but yeah, i get that. at least you can recognize it’s not genuine attraction and it’s not like you’ll act on it or anything

 

burninghill: yeah god no

 

burninghill: i mean i do love him but not like that obviously

 

ceo.oflesbian: obviously

 

burninghill: sorry not to unload my comphet on you like this but i knew you’d get it so thank you for listening :)

 

burninghill: sometimes it feels like all we do is talk about theo god

 

ceo.oflesbian: yeah lol but i’ll always be here to listen to you i hope you know that

 

burninghill: awe thank you so much jo

 

burninghill: mwah

 

ceo.oflesbian: mwah

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: i hate theo decker so much it’s unreal i am going to kill that man with my bare hands

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh he’s so lucky he’s shitfaced right now oh he’s so lucky

 

 ceo.oflesbian: when you wake up i will probably be significantly less angry so just ignore this but holy shit i am going to body him

 

[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]

 

dreamsmp3: i know is crazy latee in paris but i think you are right about my being in love with potter

 

dreamsmp3: but he is not in love with me i think

 

dreamsmp3: i ruined something i’m pretty sure

 

dreamsmp3: ruined us

Chapter Text

[group: mitski fan club]

 

goldfinches: Do you guys ever feel really old?

 

prideandprejudice2005: I try not to think about it. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: awe is baby hung over

 

burninghill: theoooo

 

goldfinches: I will only take half the blame for this. 

 

ribsbylorde: oh my 

 

strawberryblondmp3: has anyone heard from boris today?

 

goldfinches: He was gone when I woke up. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: when did you wake up

 

goldfinches: Around eleven, I think. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: hm

 

ceo.ofpiano: i’m sure he’s just busy with work

 

ribsbylorde: what is it that he does again

 

burninghill: he calls himself an entrepreneur 

 

ribsbylorde: ah

 

goldfinches: Laurie, have you really not heard from him at all today? 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i mean it’s only like three in ny

 

strawberryblondmp3: still

 

burninghill: i’m sure he’s fine you guys. beth’s right he’s probably busy 

 

[goldfinches + dreamsmp3]

 

goldfinches: Boris?

 

goldfinches: Everyone is kind of worried. 

 

goldfinches: I’m sure you’re fine, but maybe check in with at least Laurie. 

 

goldfinches: If I said anything last night that upset you, I’m sorry. Text me so we can talk about it, or drop by the shop. 

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]

 

goldfinches: I’m so sorry for texting you while I was so out of it. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: just say drunk dork

 

ceo.ofpiano: don’t worry about it theo that’s what friends are for!!

 

goldfinches: Can we put what I said behind us?

 

ceo.ofpiano: do you think that's such a good idea babe

 

goldfinches: I’m not ready, Beth. I can’t do this right now. 

 

goldfinches: Kitsey and I just called it off. Not all of her friends even know. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay calm down you don’t have to do anything right now, take your time. you can wait. no rush no pressure theo

 

[strawberryblondmp3 + dreamsmp3]

 

strawberryblondmp3: hey boris you should answer me 

 

strawberryblondmp3: whatever happened between you and theo last night, i don’t think it matters anymore. he seems to be fine

 

strawberryblondmp3: text me when you’re doing better. love you dearest boris goodnight

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: i am thinking about Love tonight…

 

ceo.oflesbian: ah yes

 

burninghill: i just want a hand to hold :( and someone to love me for me :( 

 

ceo.oflesbian: me too you aren’t special :(

 

burninghill: sksksk idk maybe i just feel. unlovable? or like no one really sees me, just this performance i put on. like i’m acting through my own life and no one will love me for who i am cause no one knows who i really am. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh 

 

burninghill: oh my god

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m sorry 

 

burninghill: i’m so sorry

 

ceo.oflesbian: no don’t be sorry, i just don’t know what to say

 

burninghill: i made things awkward i feel like

 

ceo.oflesbian: i mean. personally? i think that anyone could fall in love with the real you. maybe i don’t know it, but the you i do know is amazing and smart and talented and anyone would be lucky to get to know that person. 

 

burninghill: oh :’’

 

ceo.oflesbian: sorry if that was weird i’m sorry 

 

burninghill: no that was so sweet jo

 

burninghill: i think you know me pretty well :)

 

[ceo.oflesbian + goldfinches]

 

ceo.oflesbian: hey douchebag

 

ceo.oflesbian: how did you know you weren’t in love with pippa

 

goldfinches: Hello, Jo. 

 

goldfinches: I had built up an idealized version of her in my head. I saw her as something that connected me to before. To before my mother died, before living with the Barbours, before Vegas. She wasn’t a person to me, she was a means to get back to the life I longed for so much. Once I learned how to be happy with the life I have, I saw that her and I were nothing but friends and that’s all we needed to be. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i see. good on you for all that self reflection and personal work

 

ceo.oflesbian: and how did you realize that you’re in love with boris? 

 

goldfinches: I’m sorry?

 

ceo.oflesbian: dude

 

ceo.oflesbian: like we’re joking we know you and boris are into each other. it’s not a surprise

 

goldfinches: I’m not interested in Boris. 

 

goldfinches: Not like that. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh

 

ceo.oflesbian: shit theo i’m sorry

 

goldfinches: Does everyone think we’re in love with each other?

 

ceo.oflesbian: no no no

 

ceo.oflesbian: i was exaggerating 

 

goldfinches: Okay, I trust you. 

 

[ceo.oflesbian + prideandprejudice2005]

 

ceo.oflesbian: you’re my older sister i can trust you with anything right 

 

prideandprejudice2005: What did you do?

 

ceo.oflesbian: nothing!

 

ceo.oflesbian: well something kind of

 

prideandprejudice2005: I can keep a secret. Tell me. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: 1) i have a really big crush on pippa and i think she might like me too 2) i accidentally told theo that we all think he’s in love with boris 

 

ceo.oflesbian: meg?

 

prideandprejudice2005: Jesus Christ. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: did i fuck things up too bad 

 

prideandprejudice2005: I’m sure you didn’t, but you *have* to learn how to shut up sometimes. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i honestly thought he was joking about being repressed

 

prideandprejudice2005: Jo!

 

prideandprejudice2005: You at least apologized, right?

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes of course i’m not completely terrible 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i hope i didn’t push him further into the closet or anything 

 

prideandprejudice2005: I don’t think there is a further for Theo, he’s so far back. Also, Pippa? That’s honestly really cute.  I hope that works out for you. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: thank you i love you

 

prideandprejudice2005: I love you too. 

 

[goldfinches + strawberryblondmp3]

 

goldfinches: Does Boris talk about me?

 

strawberryblondmp3: hello to you too theo

 

strawberryblondmp3: you should talk to boris i’m trying to sleep

 

goldfinches: Laurie, please. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: his business is not my business my lips are sealed

 

goldfinches: Jo said that everyone thinks we’re in love with each other. Is that true?

 

strawberryblondmp3: talk to boris theo

 

goldfinches: He's not answering his phone. I have no idea where the hell he is. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: then let him find you

 

strawberryblondmp3: if i remember correctly he is very good at that isn’t he 

 

[strawberryblondmp3 + ceo.oflesbian]

 

strawberryblondmp3: JO YOU DID NOT

 

ceo.oflesbian: HUH??

 

strawberryblondmp3: DID YOU REALLY TELL THEO THAT WE ALL THINK HE AND BORIS ARE IN LOVE

 

ceo.oflesbian: FUCK HOW DID YOU FIND OUT

 

[ceo.oflesbian sent a photo]

 

strawberryblondmp3: I’M SORRY?

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes i know it’s hysterical 

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo….

 

ceo.oflesbian: it’s fine i told him i was exaggerating

 

strawberryblondmp3: why is there so much drama all of a sudden?? is it not enough to text mitski lyrics back and forth for two hours?

 

ceo.oflesbian: men are stupid as hell that’s why

 

strawberryblondmp3: you got me there

 

strawberryblondmp3: i can’t BELIEVE you said that

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes let's keep talking about it

 

strawberryblondmp3: awe jo

 

ceo.oflesbian: not to put my integrity on the line or anything but. i know theo is a douche but if someone had outed me like that or even suggested it when i was going through all of that stuff i probably would’ve freaked out. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: :(

 

ceo.oflesbian: do not

 

strawberryblondmp3: you’re a lovely person jo march

 

ceo.oflesbian: yeah yeah

 

ceo.oflesbian: now hurry up and worry about getting to new york i miss my sister 

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano] 

 

goldfinches: Am I in love with Boris?

 

ceo.ofpiano: bro i do not know 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i’m not you, i can’t decide that

 

goldfinches: If you had to guess, just based on how we act with each other, would you think that we’re in love?

 

ceo.ofpiano: i would think that you’re two people who obviously care about each other a great deal. whether or not that’s romantic, i don’t think that’s up to me to point out

 

goldfinches: I think I would. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: what?

 

goldfinches: If I saw Boris and I, out on the street or something, I would assume that we’re together. In love. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay, but would that be true?

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo?

 

[ceo.ofpiano + dreamsmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: boris if you see theo again today you should text me

 

ceo.ofpiano: because he stopped answering his phone

 

ceo.ofpiano: i know you care about him so please just. make sure he’s okay. and make sure you’re okay too. take care of each other 

 

ceo.ofpiano: love you lots see you soon 

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

[strawberryblondmp3 changed the name of the group to boris search party]

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay laurie don’t you think that’s a little dramatic 

 

ribsbylorde: how can he be in his own search party? 

 

strawberryblondmp3: amy dear really

 

ribsbylorde: i love and support you

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up

 

burninghill: ^^

 

strawberryblondmp3: pippa :(

 

prideandprejudice2005: Laurie, Beth is right. I think that you’re getting a bit worked up. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: well okay um theo also stopped responding to me so 

 

burninghill: they could be with each other 

 

ceo.oflesbian: gross

 

burninghill: NOT LIKE THAT. 

 

ribsbylorde: JO

 

burninghill: * they could be hanging out

 

ceo.ofpiano: probably not 

 

strawberryblondmp3: do we know anyone who might’ve seen them last night/today

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay calm down they’re both grown ups with lives

 

burninghill: laurie will you feel better if i call hobie?

 

strawberryblondmp3: ….

 

strawberryblondmp3: yes. 

 

ribsbylorde: big baby

 

strawberryblondmp3: maybe so!

 

prideandprejudice2005: It’s not like both of them have jobs or anything. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: it’s about the Circumstances meg

 

burninghill: hobie said that theo and boris fell asleep there and boris left early in the morning. and apparently theo left about an hour ago and said not to wait up for him. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay that doesn’t sound great

 

strawberryblondmp3: what could he be doing

 

ceo.oflesbian: he’s fine 

 

ribsbylorde: i’m sure he’s alright guys

 

prideandprejudice2005: They're both smart and capable, they’ll be fine. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: well

 

burninghill: let’s not go too far

 

burninghill: i’m sure they’re fine, alright? theo does stuff like this all the time

 

[burninghill + goldfinches] 

 

burninghill: i told hobie to call me if you stop by the shop, so if you want us to know you’re alive just go see him

 

burninghill: theo i don’t know what you’re doing but please be careful


burninghill: don’t go too crazy okay? love you

Chapter Text

[dreamsmp3 + burninghill]

 

dreamsmp3: theo with me

 

dreamsmp3: saw he was not responding to beth, found him drinking at bar next to the barbours with kitsey. brought him to apartment and let him sleep

 

dreamsmp3: no need to worry anymore we are both fine. talk to you soon pippa 

 

burninghill: so glad to hear it boris. take good care of our boy <3

 

[group: boris search party]

 

burninghill: boris said that he has theo and they’re both fine 

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo will always find his way home…

 

ribsbylorde: that’s so sweet

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh thank god

 

[strawberryblondmp3 changed the name of the group to welcome home boris and theo]

 

ribsbylorde: dork

 

ceo.oflesbian: loser

 

prideandprejudice2005: See? They’re fine. 

 

burninghill: nothing to worry about 

 

strawberryblondmp3: how was i supposed to know!! those two get up to some wild shit 

 

burninghill: akshdsjka you’re not wrong!

 

ceo.oflesbian: bro can we please stop talking about boris and theo now

 

[ceo.ofpiano changed the name of the group to mitski fan club]

 

ceo.oflesbian: much better

 

ribsbylorde: can any one of us change the name of the group

 

strawberryblondmp3: ….. yes

 

ribsbylorde: inch resting 

 

strawberryblondmp3: do not abuse this power

 

ribsbylorde: absolutely no promises :)

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: for personal reasons i need to know your favorite color

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh! uh red probably? if i had to pick

 

burninghill: hm interesting 

 

ceo.oflesbian: what’s yours?

 

burninghill: maybe red as well. or yellow

 

ceo.oflesbian: mcdonald’s color palette 

 

burninghill: DJDHDJSK

 

ceo.oflesbian: have amy and laurie said anything about when they’re going to meet up with you so you guys can fly out here?

 

burninghill: not yet, but i’m due for a visit soon anyways so i might just go ahead and go in the next few weeks or so regardless

 

burninghill: oooo if you’re free while i’m there i’d love to take you to this beautiful wine bar i went to last time i was in town

 

ceo.oflesbian: that sounds really awesome hell yeah

 

burninghill: okay then! it’s a date :) xx

 

[burninghill + strawberryblondmp3]

 

burninghill: hey hello sorry if this is a weird question but does jo wear jewelry very often?

 

strawberryblondmp3: um yeah rings and earrings sometimes

 

strawberryblondmp3: they have a few necklaces but idk how often they wear them

 

burninghill: okay cool thank you

 

strawberryblondmp3: if i may… why do you ask?

 

burninghill: oh it’s so crazy all of a sudden i have to go right now immediately 

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh right now? you have to leave right now? 

 

burninghill: yeah that’s wild i’m so sorry

 

strawberryblondmp3: pippaaaaa

 

[group: mitski fan club}

 

strawberryblondmp3: ok When Are We Meeting Up?

 

ceo.ofpiano: sometime next month?

 

ceo.oflesbian: works for me

 

burninghill: ditto

 

prideandprejudice2005: I should be able to do that.

 

strawberryblondmp3: amy said she’s completely free the fourteenth through the sixteenth

 

ceo.oflesbian: is she reading the chat over your shoulder or smth

 

strawberryblondmp3: yea

 

ceo.oflesbian: amazing

 

ceo.ofpiano: are theo and boris on chat speaking terms?

 

goldfinches: I’m available pretty much whenever, I just won’t schedule any sales those days.

 

goldfinches: Boris said he can “make room in his schedule” which means he’s free. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: is he also reading the chat over your shoulder

 

goldfinches: No, we’re watching T.V. and I just asked him.

 

ceo.oflesbian: ah i see

 

strawberryblondmp3: very domestic. i told amy that theo was in the chat again and she went “oh what are those idiots saying” and grabbed the phone out of my hand.

 

ceo.oflesbian: again, amazing

 

burninghill: amy be like I Am A Distinguished Bi

 

burninghill: also amy:

 

strawberryblondmp3: LMAO

 

goldfinches: Boris said to tell you that he can’t wait to see you all. And that we’re distinguished/chaotic. I don’t know what that means.

 

ceo.ofpiano: WHICH one of you did he call distinguished ?????

 

ceo.oflesbian: i do not know which one is worse…….

 

burninghill: i think calling theo distinguished is worse

 

goldfinches: Thank you, Pippa.

 

goldfinches: You aren’t all that wrong.

 

burninghill: see? i am right

 

strawberryblondmp3: the only distinguished one here is meg

 

ceo.ofpiano: amen

 

strawberryblondmp3: amy says amen

 

ceo.oflesbian: amen

 

[goldfinches + ceo.oflesbian]

 

goldfinches: Can we talk?

 

ceo.oflesbian: hmmm perhaps what is up theodore

 

goldfinches: Okay, so. 

 

goldfinches: I think I’m probably gay.

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh

 

goldfinches: You don’t have to act surprised. I know you guys all joke about it. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m more surprised that you’re telling me

 

ceo.oflesbian: and not like pippa or beth or boris or hobie idk

 

goldfinches: I don’t know why I’m telling you either.

 

ceo.oflesbian: well. thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. i know i’m a dick to you and even though you deserve it i still think you should like, be happy with yourself or whatever

 

goldfinches: Thank you, Jo.

 

ceo.oflesbian: gagging noises that’s too much being genuine with each other for one day

 

goldfinches: Agreed.

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano] 

 

goldfinches: Can I talk to you?

 

ceo.ofpiano: of course what’s up

 

goldfinches: I’m gay. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i’m so proud of you theo

 

ceo.ofpiano: you know that i and everyone else will love and accept you no matter what

 

goldfinches: I don’t know if I want to tell anyone else yet. 

 

goldfinches: Well, I did already tell Jo. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: you told jo first??

 

goldfinches: Yes, I’m sorry, but they were the first out gay person I ever met so it felt extra safe, I guess. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo i’m not mad at you for telling them before me skdhdhsk you get to pick who you tell and when you tell them. i was just surprised  

 

goldfinches: You won’t tell anyone else right? 

 

ceo.ofpiano: of course not theo. pinky promise 

 

[goldfinches + dreamsmp3]

 

goldfinches: Where’d you go?

 

dreamsmp3: needed cigarettes. be back soon

 

goldfinches: Can we talk when you get back?

 

dreamsmp3: are you going to call me insane again? or pass out?

 

goldfinches: Boris, you know I’m sorry.

 

dreamsmp3: was only messing with you potter ;)

 

dreamsmp3: of course we can talk. are you okay? 

 

goldfinches: Yes, I’m fine. Just want to talk about something that’s probably long overdue. 

 

dreamsmp3: ah okay. see you soon :)

 

goldfinches: See you.

 

[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]

 

dreamsmp3: i think theo is going to say we shouldn’t be friends anymore

 

strawberryblondmp3: huh??

 

[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]

 

dreamsmp3: :/

 

strawberryblondmp3: i just think that he doesn’t know how to say things like a human sometimes

 

dreamsmp3: i cannot lose him laurie

 

strawberryblondmp3: why don’t you calm down, go over there, and see what he has to say?

 

dreamsmp3: if you are wrong….

 

strawberryblondmp3: i never am!

Chapter Text

“Honey, I'm home!” Boris says loudly as he walks into the apartment. Popchyk clacks towards him, panting happily. Boris shifts the bags hanging off of his left arm to his right so he can scoop up the dog. 

 

When he walks into the living room, Theo is sitting on the couch, staring ahead at the wall. He blinks at Boris. 

 

“Hey,” Theo says. 

 

“You good, potter?” Boris asks. He drops Popchyk in Theo’s lap and sets the bags down on the coffee table. He sits next to Theo on the couch. 

 

“Yeah,” Theo says, looking at Boris with a soft, secret smile on his face. “I'm great.”

 

“Okay, weirdo. Well, I got snacks and picked up food for the baby, and I got cigarettes. Don’t worry, I bought the ones you like, and-“

 

“Boris.”

 

Boris turns toward Theo, face twisted like he’s saying What? What’d I do? It's a face that Theo, at this point, is very familiar with. The pinch of his eyebrows, the slight curl of his upper lip, the way his hands will open up, palms towards the ceiling. It makes Theo smile again. 

 

“I wanted to talk,” he says, and Boris’s face drops. He looks away, ahead at the window that overlooks the street. He starts to fiddle with the ring on his left hand. 

 

“Right,” Boris says. “You are going to tell me that you do not want me around anymore.”

 

“What?”

 

“I have, uh, overstayed my welcome, correct? I should go back to Antwerp.”

 

“What? No, Boris-“

 

“Is fine, Potter. I get it. I do not need to be here anymore. I have done all I can for you.”

 

“Boris-“

 

“Do not try to make me feel better, I know this is-“

 

“No, Boris, listen to me.”

 

He reaches up to tilt Boris’s jaw so they’re facing each other again. Popchyk leaps out of Theo’s lap at the movement and settles into his bed. Boris’s eyes are wide, his irises dark against bright whites. Theo doesn’t remember ever seeing his eyes so clear, so void of anything; no redness or glaze, just Boris. Theo has him fully, here in his hands, in front of God and Popchyk. 

 

“I don’t want you to leave,” he says, voice straining. “I want you to- to stay here. or i’ll go to Europe with you, I just- I want to stay with you. I want to be with you, always. Please.”

 

His voice splits down the middle on the last word. His hand has moved from Boris’s jaw to his shoulder, almost white-knuckling the fabric of his jacket. Boris nods. 

 

“What about your ice queen?” he says. His fingertips are brushing against Theo’s knee, and it feels red hot, alive with an absurd amount of energy and nerves his knees shouldn’t even possess. It’s ridiculous, what Boris’s touch does to him. 

 

“I broke things off, you know this. She’s with Tom now.”

 

“What about Pippa?”

 

“Boris, I’m- I’m pretty sure I'm gay.”

 

There’s a long silence, and Theo is sure he’s said the wrong thing, even though Boris has been out for almost a year at this point and none of their friends are straight and oh, Hobie definitely is gay, but then:

 

“Theo,” said like tee-o, because Boris has never really said Theo’s name before, and it’s the best Goddamn sound Theo has ever heard, “I know.”

 

“I'm sorry, you know?”

 

“Yes, have known since we were children. Was just waiting for you to figure out.”

 

“Excuse me?”

 

“Is no big deal-“

 

“It’s no big deal? No big deal? Boris, I used to have panic attacks about this-“

 

“We are getting off topic! So, you want to tell me you don’t want me to go to Europe, or that you’re gay?”

 

Theo coughs, looks past Boris, at the wall behind him. 

 

“Well, I actually wanted to tell you that, um, I’m also pretty sure I’m in love with you.”

 

Boris stares at Theo for a beat, and then leans forward, all business, like he had that night in the car, like he’s going to explain how a stolen art trade-off usually goes.

 

“Potter, this is very important question. Can I kiss you?”

 

Theo responds by leaning forward and catching Boris’s mouth with his own. It’s nothing compared to how he usually kisses. (But it’s better. So much better.) It’s like how Boris kissed him when he left Vegas- short, to the point. It leaves Theo aching all over for more. 

 

“You love me,” Boris says, grinning. He tugs Theo closer to him when he tries to shift away. 

 

“I love you,” Theo says, breathless, and it doesn’t feel as scary as it should. It doesn’t feel like it’s choking him anymore. 

 

“I love you too, but you know this, yes?” Boris says. His eyes are trained on Theo’s lips, which makes it very hard to think of something to say. 

 

“No, not a clue,” Theo says, then laughs. Not a clue. Wow. 

 

Boris laughs too, shakes his head like Theo is an idiot, and he is. He tugs Theo closer again, close enough to kiss. He leans forward and presses a kiss to the corner of Theo’s mouth, a feather light touch that almost tickles. 

 

“You are so stupid,” he says, and then kisses Theo, “I have loved you my entire life,” another kiss, “and you don’t notice? shame on you,” and another kiss. Theo’s laughing, leaning forward into Boris’s touch. 

 

“Shut up, oh my God,” he says, but it’s fond and soft and not nearly mean enough. Boris’s smile somehow grows. 

 

“Laurie will be thrilled,” Boris teases. Theo rolls his eyes. 

 

“They'll all be absolutely fucking ecstatic. Half of that chat is just jokes about me being gay." 

 

“Ha!” Boris barks, and it’s so familiar, so Boris that Theo really can’t do anything except press his mouth to Boris’s, to his jaw and his neck and his cheek and anywhere he can reach. He feels like he wants to swallow Boris whole, which is fucked up and weird, but so is he, so is Boris. He feels like if he pressed hard enough against him, he and Boris could meld into one, souls and hearts intertwining like they already have. He scrapes his teeth against the hollow of Boris’s throat. 

 

“Up, to my room, now,” he mumbles into Boris’s skin. 

 

“Then get off, whore,” Boris huffs, pushing Theo away. 

 

“Did you just call me a whore?” Theo says indignantly as he tugs Boris towards the stairs. 

 

“You can’t keep it in your pants!” Boris exclaims, and shoves Theo’s hands away from where they’re trying to unbutton Boris’s shirt. 

 

“Neither of us should be keeping it in our pants,” Theo whines. He tugs Boris’s shirt out from his slacks and shoves his hands up it, splaying them across Boris’s ribs. Boris groans. 

 

“What if Mr. Hobie were to come home right now, huh? What would he say to you groping me on stairs of his apartment?” Boris says, completely out of breath, which is definitely ruining the whole bit. 

 

“I don't care, I really don’t,” Theo pants. He has the decency to let Boris drag them to the bedroom at least, but Theo shoves him down on the bed as soon as they get inside. The door is still open, and Boris tries to get up. Theo bites his collarbone. 

 

“I am closing the door,” Boris says firmly, pushing Theo to the side. Theo frowns. 

 

When Boris gets back in the bed, Theo seems to have calmed down a bit. He looks totally wrecked, but part of that is Boris’s fault. 

 

“We can slow down, if you want,” Theo says quietly. He looks scared now, like he doesn’t want to get scolded. He’s started to curl into himself. Boris places a confident hand on his cheek. 

 

“I will do whatever you want,” he says. Theo leans forward and kisses him. 

 

“I want to- I want…,“ Theo stammers. Boris kisses the tip of his nose. 

 

“Anything, Theo,” he whispers. 

 

Theo isn’t used to asking for what he wants, or getting it for that matter. He’s not used to having something, some one that is so completely his. It’s like all the years he had (or thought he had) the painting. What do you do with something that precious, that valuable?

 

You cherish it, Theo thinks. You love it even if it can’t love you back. (Except Boris can love him back. He does love him back.)

 

“I want you,” Theo says finally. Boris nods. 

 

After it all happens, when they are sticky and sweaty and sore and sharing a cigarette, Theo takes Boris’s hand and kisses his ring finger. 

 

“Do you want to get married?” he asks. He’s fucked out and boneless; he doesn’t really know what he’s saying. Boris chokes on smoke. 

 

“Do you?” he asks carefully. Theo shrugs. 

 

“Maybe someday. Only if you’d have me.”

 

“Potter,” Boris says sternly, shoving lightly at Theo’s bare chest so he looks at him, “I would marry you in a second.”

 

“Oh,” Theo says. “Okay.”

 

Theo is fairly certain that he does want to get married, and that he wants to marry Boris. Not today, not anytime soon. But eventually. 

 

“Beth will be my best man,” Theo giggles. Boris laughs. 

 

“They will love that! Laurie can be my maid of honor!”

 

They collapse into each other in a fit of laughter, taking gasping breaths to shush themselves so they don’t wake up Hobie. (He had come home in the middle of it, and there had been a very awkward few minutes of talking to him through the door while they were both naked and extremely preoccupied.)

 

“I love you,” Theo says once they settle down. He takes Boris’s face in his hands and kisses him hard, a selfish kiss that leaves no room for questions or breathing. “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you too, Potter. Let’s go to bed, yeah?” 

 

Theo watches Boris walk from the windowsill to the bed, in nothing but his boxers. His hair is all fucked up, and there are brutal red marks across his chest and ribs. It looks like Theo was trying to eat him. 

 

“Yeah. Let’s go to bed.”

 

__________

 

[strawberryblondmp3 + dreamsmp3]

 

strawberryblondmp3: how did it go with theo? y’all still friends?

 

[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]

 

strawberryblondmp3: OH MY GOD

 

strawberryblondmp3: FUCKING FINALLY 

 

strawberryblondmp3: I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!!!!!

 

dreamsmp3: thank you :)

 

dreamsmp3: can’t talk much longer, have sleeping theo to tend to

 

strawberryblondmp3: disgusting. have fun!

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

ceo.oflesbian: good morning gay people how is everyone 

 

ribsbylorde: laurie screamed earlier and won’t tell me why

 

strawberryblondmp3: i told you it’s nothing

 

ribsbylorde: we are right next to each other. say it to my face like a man. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: anyone else?

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think i am going to quit being a writer and just run around in circles for the rest of my life

 

prideandprejudice2005: Solid plan. 

 

burninghill: awe jo :(

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think i will take a walk. perhaps get a bagel

 

ceo.ofpiano: were you up all night writing again?

 

ceo.oflesbian: i have left the chat

 

burninghill: maybe you should take a nap

 

ceo.oflesbian: it’s like eleven am

 

ceo.ofpiano: take a nap gun emoji

 

ribsbylorde: ^^

 

strawberryblondmp3: ^^

 

prideandprejudice2005: Take a break, Jo. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: you guys SUCK

 

ribsbylorde: love u too

 

ceo.ofpiano: where are the Boys

 

strawberryblondmp3: >:^(

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh my god the OTHER boys

 

ribsbylorde: he’s literally pouting at his phone lmaoooo

 

strawberryblondmp3: i am NOT. slander!

 

strawberryblondmp3: n ee wayz. i think they’re busy

 

ceo.ofpiano: eye emoji

 

burninghill: two eye emojis 

 

ribsbylorde: one day they are going to stop being friends with us

 

ceo.ofpiano: they would never!

 

prideandprejudice2005: Boris wouldn’t let that happen. 

 

ribsbylorde: theo’s kind of a bitch idk what he’s capable of doing 

 

burninghill: PLEASE

 

ceo.ofpiano: why did you call theo a bitch? i never said that. we have the receipts. theo is my friend. 

 

ribsbylorde: DKDJDJKSDN

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo is a bitch and that’s okay. 

 

burninghill: we still love him!

 

ribsbylorde: we do :)

 

[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches]

 

dreamsmp3: left to pick up coffee, be back soon, do not fret. love you 

 

[burninghill + dreamsmp3]

 

burninghill: good morning love! how are you doing 

 

dreamsmp3: i am wonderful! me and theo are together now

 

burninghill: oh are you guys getting breakfast or smth?

 

dreamsmp3: no we are boyfriends! at least i think so. i guess i did not actually “ask” him. should i?

 

burninghill: boris

 

burninghill: if you’re fucking with me i’m going to be so mad

 

dreamsmp3: i’m offended that you would think that :(

 

burninghill: YOU AND THEO ARE LIKE. OFFICIALLY DATING.

 

dreamsmp3: i believe so. we slept together, so i hope

 

burninghill: gross! i’m so happy for you two!!!

 

dreamsmp3: thank you!! laurie was as well. i’m surprised he didn’t tell the chat

 

burninghill: we do have some sense of discretion

 

[burninghill + strawberryblondmp3]

 

burninghill: BORIS JUST TOLD ME. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: OH THANK GOD.

 

burninghill: i can’t believe. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: shit is crazyyy

 

burninghill: i wonder if theo knows. that we know

 

strawberryblondmp3: time will tell… 

 

burninghill: wait is that what you screamed ab??

 

strawberryblondmp3: i didn’t SCREAM

 

burninghill: laurie oh my goodness

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

goldfinches: I can’t think of a funny or interesting way to say this, but Boris and I are together now.

 

ceo.ofpiano: HUH???

 

ribsbylorde: like…… DEADASS?

 

goldfinches: Yes.

 

goldfinches: And also, I’m gay.

 

ribsbylorde: i’m gonna have a fucking heart attack

 

ceo.ofpiano: what’s that fucking meme of tom of tom and jerry fame getting hit in the face with a pie. that’s what this was like.

 

strawberryblondmp3: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL

 

ceo.ofpiano: you told laurie before you told us? wow…..

 

goldfinches: No, but Boris must have. I’m not surprised. And Beth, I told you I was gay yesterday.

 

ceo.ofpiano: allow me to be shocked that you're telling the others please

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo we love you and are very proud of you :) and congratulations to you and boris!

 

ribsbylorde: yeah what he said

 

goldfinches: Thank you.

 

ceo.oflesbian: I LEAVE FOR A FUCKING HOUR?? AND YOU???? HUH???????????

 

goldfinches: I came out to you already as well. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i did NOT think the turn around in relation to boris was going to be this quick. jesus

 

prideandprejudice2005: Congratulations Theo!

 

goldfinches: Thank you, Meg. 

 

dreamsmp3: line at sbux is very long, but glad to see that theo told everyone!!

 

dreamsmp3: i do not know where pippa is but i told her too

 

goldfinches: Of course you did.

 

ceo.oflesbian: NO being gross and couple-y in the chat. i already have to deal with amy and teddy being Like That

 

dreamsmp3: you wish you were us

 

ceo.oflesbian: maybe i want a gf! maybe….. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i definitely do

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh worm

 

burninghill: sigh me too

 

burninghill: also yay to theo for telling everyone!! congrats darling 

 

goldfinches: Thank you.

 

ceo.oflesbian: bro i was YEARNING

 

burninghill: ah yes my bad please continue 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i just personally think that it is a little bit ridiculous that i do not have a girlfriend when i am 1) smart 2)

 

burninghill: oh shut up you are so much more than just intelligent. yes you are incredibly smart but you’re so amazing in so many different ways!!!! 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh... 

 

ceo.ofpiano: bruh i just realized that only THREE out of the EIGHT people in this chat are single. not cool

 

burninghill: hopefully that’ll change soon

 

ceo.ofpiano: idk. might say fuck it and talk to the cute girl that works at the pizza place mom and i go to all the time :/

 

ribsbylorde: VALERIE?? SHE’S SO CUTE YES DO IT!!!!!!

 

ceo.ofpiano: perhaps.

 

ceo.ofpiano: but just leave pippa and jo hanging like that? we gotta stick together. single lesbian solidarity

 

dreamsmp3: lesbian comrades

 

ribsbylorde: LMAO

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: i just think it is VERY funny that pippa said hopefully that’ll change soon

 

ceo.oflesbian: is she… you know…. *gestures to indicate that she’s pining for me the same way i am for her*

 

strawberryblondmp3: you should just fucking ask her out. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay but what if i DIDN’T. hm. thoughts?

 

strawberryblondmp3: you are literally going to see her in like two weeks. do it then. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay she did kind of ask me out and not to perpetuate lesbian stereotypes but what if she just meant as friends?? she DID say “it’s a date then :) xx” so. could go either way

 

strawberryblondmp3: where did she ask you to go?

 

ceo.oflesbian: a wine bar

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo literally she asked you on a date shut the fuck up oh my god. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oKAY i just didn’t know for SURE because sometimes people just say shit like that and it doesn’t mean anything!

 

strawberryblondmp3: that’s fair. anyways have fun on your date <3

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh fuck you

 

[burninghill + goldfinches]

 

burninghill: off the record. hypothetically. would you be mad if jo and i started dating?

 

goldfinches: Why would I be?

 

burninghill: idk because we had some weird stuff happen and you don’t like jo

 

goldfinches: Pippa, you and Jo are two of my best friends. You’re a lesbian, and I’m gay, so it’s not like any of the stuff that happened really matters, at least not in this context. You should do what makes you happy. 

 

burninghill: oh thank you theo

 

goldfinches: You don’t need to ask for my blessing. 

 

burninghill: yeah i don’t know why i asked you i would have done it anyways

 

goldfinches: Well, that’s good. 

 

burninghill: i’m really really proud of you for coming out btw i love you so much theo

 

goldfinches: I love you too.

 

goldfinches: Did you reject me because you thought I was gay?

 

burninghill: i was pretty sure that we were both gay and i knew it would end up bad

 

burninghill: and all the other stuff i said too but yeah the gay thing Was a factor

 

goldfinches: That’s fair. Thank God you stopped that before it got going.

 

burninghill: oh ikr could you IMAGINE. a mess. you and boris are a much better match :)

 

goldfinches: I think so too. 

Chapter Text

[ribsbylorde + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ribsbylorde: i’ll be at the airport in like ten minutes 

 

strawberryblondmp3: okay! i’m here with pippa she says hi

 

ribsbylorde: hi pippa!! see you soon 

 

ribsbylorde: are we telling them? 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i think we should, since we’ll have everyone in one place you know 

 

ribsbylorde: okay :)

 

strawberryblondmp3: love you darling see you in a few

 

ribsbylorde: love you 

 

[ceo.oflesbian + goldfinches]

 

ceo.oflesbian: i’m here open up

 

goldfinches: Give me a minute or two, sorry. 

 

goldfinches: If you ring the bell Hobie will let you in. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: this is true

 

goldfinches: Fine, fine. I’ll be down in a second. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: is boris here?

 

goldfinches: Yes. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: then get your fucking clothes on and hurry up 

 

goldfinches: Fuck off. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: you too xx

 

[prideandprejudice2005 + ceo.ofpiano]

 

prideandprejudice2005: Are you almost ready? I’ll be out front in about five. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: yes mom and dad are just triple fucking checking everything 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Of course. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i cannot wait to be Free in the City for a few days

 

prideandprejudice2005: I’m not letting you drink. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: MEG i am of AGE

 

prideandprejudice2005: You’re not supposed to!

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay…. 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Theo and Boris and Hobie will listen to me. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i WILL argue about this with you in the car. see you in a few

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: we just boarded!! 

 

ceo.oflesbian: ahh i’m so excited!

 

burninghill: me too!! can’t wait to see you <3

 

ceo.oflesbian: me neither :)

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: i am experiencing gay thoughts 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i think every thought you have qualifies as a gay thought seeing as you are, in fact, gay

 

ceo.oflesbian: you are so annoying. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: you’re just cranky because i’m with your gf

 

ceo.oflesbian: she’s not my girlfriend!

 

strawberryblondmp3: isn’t she. isn’t she

 

[ribsbylorde + ceo.oflesbian]

 

ribsbylorde: do you wanna be like theo? is that what you want?

 

ceo.oflesbian: i am nothing like theo how fucking dare you i’ve known i’m gay for years!

 

ribsbylorde: pippa really likes you so maybe ask her out you wimp

 

ceo.oflesbian: i WILL in like. ten hours

 

ribsbylorde: poor beth :( all alone…. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh they are going to put the moves on valerie i can already tell

 

ribsbylorde: !!! my god these bitches gay! good for them… 

 

[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]

 

ceo.ofpiano: i’m so excited to see youuu

 

goldfinches: Me too. :)

 

ceo.ofpiano: how's married life been?

 

goldfinches: We’re not married yet. But it’s been good. It’s been really good. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: YET??

 

goldfinches: I think this is it for me. I don’t want anything else, you know?

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo that is so fucking cute

 

goldfinches: Don’t tell him I said that. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i can’t imagine he feels differently 

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh we are boarding!! see you in like two hours darling xx

 

goldfinches: See you then. 

 

goldfinches: Jo says they can’t wait. 

 

__________

 

“I can’t wait any longer!” Jo exclaims dramatically, falling back against the counter. Theo glances over at Boris and rolls his eyes. Boris grins. 

 

“They’ll be here soon, Jo,” Theo says. He gets up from his seat at the kitchen table and hip-checks them to get to the tea things. They kick at his ankle.

 

“Ow,” he says, deadpan. They do it again, harder. He flinches for real.

 

“Children, children, enough. Please,” Boris says tiredly. Theo flips him off without turning around. 

 

“You’re even an asshole to your boyfriend,” Jo says. Theo is saved from his usual bumbling by footsteps racing up the stairs and Beth bursting through the door. He’s relieved. He doesn’t think Boris would appreciate his denial of their relationship when they are, in fact, in a relationship. 

 

Jo rushes over to hug Beth, and the two spend a minute embracing and talking over each other in rushed enthusiasm. Boris gets up and joins Theo at the kettle. He leans his head against his arm. 

 

“How are you, Potter?” Boris asks quietly. 

 

“I’m doing great, Boris,” Theo answers. He surprises himself with how true the answer really is. His chest feels light, unburdened; he has a day of hanging out with some of his best friends ahead of him, a day full of walking around New York and laughing too loud and drinking way too much wine. 

 

Boris smiles and gives a little hum of appreciation. Theo turns and gives him a quick kiss on the top of his head. 

 

“Theodore!” Beth yells, and he barely turns around before they’re on him, hugging him impossibly tonight and laughing wildly. He hugs them back, not being able to help the smile that spreads across his face.

 

Beth is babbling excitedly about something- he can’t really make it out when their face is pressed into his shoulder. He attempts to untangle himself, but they keep a firm grip on his forearms. He smiles even wider. 

 

“How’s it been?” they ask, voice lowered dramatically. They make an aborted sort of movement with their head, gesturing to where Boris is talking to Meg. She’s laughing at something he said, head in her hands and shoulders shaking. 

 

“I told you,” he says, mock annoyed, “It’s been great. Really. Better than I’ve felt in years,” he says quietly. It’s weird, being so open and honest. He knows that it’s good for him, but he can’t escape the feeling that someone- Beth, Hobie, God, maybe- is going to judge him. Beth, of course, does nothing of the sort. They smile a soft, sweet smile, and lean up to kiss his cheek.

 

“You have no idea how happy I am for you,” they say into his ear. He swallows down the lump in his throat.

 

“Beth!” Boris says behind them. “You are so rude, not even saying hi to me,” he teases. They laugh and walk over to him, wrapping him in the same vice-grip they had Theo in. Meg makes her way over to Theo. She reaches up to cup his cheek. 

 

“Hello, my love,” she says.

 

“Hey, Meg. How’re the kids?”

 

She sighs. “They are… a lot. They’re fine, they’re great, but, well, I’m sure you can imagine how much of a handful they can be sometimes.”

 

Theo chuckles. He has met her kids exactly once, on an impulse visit to Massachusetts with Jo. They were lovely children, truly, but the twins liked to fight and Josie had been in a painting phase when he was up there, and Meg spent half of the visit chasing her around with a wet wipe trying to make sure she didn’t get it on the walls. (He had also, though he will never admit it to anyone, gotten so overwhelmed with affection when Demi called him “Uncle Theo” to the point of needing to take a minute in the bathroom so he didn’t cry in front of everyone. Meg asked him to put the twins to bed one night, and carrying them, sleeping and peaceful and perfect, had made his heart burst in his chest. He had given them both hurried kisses on the forehead and ran outside to have a cigarette.)

 

“Well, tell them that I miss them terribly when you get back.”

 

“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to hear it. How are you doing, Theo? How’s it been?” she asks. It’s inconspicuous enough to leave room for a generic, boring answer, but worded just the right way so he can be as honest as he wants. He, not for the first time, appreciates her tremendously for being so clever and thoughtful

 

“It’s been wonderful, it really has. I… I never knew I could be this happy all the time, you know?”

 

Meg grins. Theo smiles back sheepishly, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. He feels like a teenager confiding about his crush on the coolest boy in school. But Boris was never the coolest kid in their school, and he never felt this happy as a teen. 

 

Boris drives Beth and Meg to their hotel for check-in, which leaves Theo and Jo alone. Hobie is in the workshop, pointedly not sticking around after the other parties leave because nothing is more awkward than being the middleman in an argument you don’t know anything about. 

 

Theo thinks it is a bit ridiculous that everyone assumes that he and Jo can’t be in the same room together without shit hitting the fan. The truth is that he loves Jo dearly, and he’s pretty sure they love him too, they just clash more often than not. And that’s fine. He can’t count how many times he and Boris yelled at each other, or actually threw a punch. But they always made up, because they loved each other. (Not that he loves Jo the same way. Obviously.)

 

“Hey, doofus,” Jo says, startling him from his thoughts. “You wanna watch a movie?”

 

“Sure,” he says, shrugging. They make their way to the living room, where Jo spends about ten minutes making fun of his DVD collection. 

 

“Saving Private Ryan?” Jo says mockingly.

 

“I think that belongs to Hobie,” Theo shoots back. It doesn’t. 

 

“God, dude, I know you didn’t come out until like, two weeks ago, but that is no excuse for this abhorrent fucking movie selection.”

 

“Shut up!”

 

Jo just turns their head, blinks at him. He sighs, resigning. 

 

“You know we have Netflix, right? Just come and sit down and we’ll look for something.”

 

Jo grumbles something rude but nevertheless gets up and joins Theo on the couch, sitting down right next to him so that their shoulders are pressed together, ignoring the enormous amount of space the rest of the couch provides. 

 

That’s the thing with Jo, Theo thinks. They can never really hide how much they like someone because they need that closeness, that reassurance that the loneliness that sits heavy in their chest is only a fear, a fleeting insecurity that of course is never true. They’re a lot alike in that sense, Theo and Jo. 

 

Theo gets a text about fifteen minutes into Hot Rod. 

 

dreamsmp3: forgot to say! took girls out to brunch :) be home in a few hours love you <3

 

He smiles and sends back a quick Love you too. Jo glances down at his phone and snorts. 

 

“You guys are so gross,” they say. Theo pushes his shoulder into theirs, and they push back. 

 

“Are you excited to see Pippa?” Theo asks carefully. He’s not nearly as good at being subtle as he should be, because Jo straightens up next him, eyes darting between him and the movie. 

 

“I mean, yeah, I haven’t seen her in forever. I was excited to see everyone else, too.”

 

“Jo, you know I don’t mind if you and Pippa start-“

 

“Pippa and I aren’t going to start doing anything.”

 

“Okay, I’m sorry. But just so you know, if you did want to start, that’s fine by me. It’s not like I’m in love with her. You know that.”

 

Jo deflates slightly, closes their eyes and leans their head on Theo’s shoulder. 

 

“I like her a lot.”

 

“She is pretty wonderful.”

 

“Yeah, I know. I’m just scared, I guess. I’ve never really liked someone this much.”

 

“Well, I’m probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this. But-“

 

Jo snorts. 

 

“But, what I will say is that you should just go for it, Jo.”

 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. Theo thinks that’s the end of it, and tries to tune back into the movie, but then Jo says, “Thank you, Theo.”

 

“No, really,” they continue when he scoffs. “That means a lot. Thank you.”

 

Theo looks at them and realizes they’re not fucking with him. He instantly feels a little terrible about himself, but he just shakes his head. 

 

“It’s no problem.”

 

*** 

Amy, Laurie, and Pippa get in before the rest are back from brunch. Theo is fretting a bit when they come to the door, hoping that Boris isn’t sitting somewhere absolutely shitfaced on mimosas before two o’clock. He texts Meg, trying to sound as normal as he can. 

 

goldfinches: Do you know when you’ll be back? The others just got here. 

 

prideandprejudice2005: On our way now!

 

Theo sighs in relief and looks up just in time to see Amy barreling towards him for a hug. She gets on her toes to give him a kiss on both cheeks. 

 

“Glad to see that you and Jo haven’t torn the place apart yet,” she says. 

 

“Oh, please. Theo and I do get along, you know. Just… not when anyone else is here.”

 

“You sure you didn’t give him this shiner?” Laurie says, appearing suddenly at Theo’s shoulder. He has a finger hooked on the neck of Theo’s sweater, pulling it down just enough to reveal a dark purple mark that Theo had been so sure wouldn’t be visible. He flushes bright red. Pippa hides her laugh behind her hand, while Amy throws her head back to cackle. Jo makes a retching noise.

 

“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to give him shit too. It’s good to see you, man,” Laurie says with a grin as he hugs Theo. When he pulls back, he keeps an arm slung around Theo’s shoulders.

 

“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve been on a plane for eight hours, and I sure could use a fucking drink,” he declares. Jo nods in solemn agreement. 

 

“Laurie, it’s hardly past twelve,” Amy says. 

 

“The others have already started drinking. What, you think Boris or Meg can resist a good mimosa?” Jo says when Theo makes a face.

 

“That’s what I was worried about,” he mumbles.

 

“Oh, come on, they’re adults,” Laurie complains. He dislodges himself from Theo to start poking around in the fridge. Pippa walks up and takes his place.

 

“Hey, Theo,” she says quietly. He puts an arm around her, draws her in close. 

 

“Hi,” he whispers back. 

 

They stand there for a few minutes, watching the other three dip and move around each other in nearly perfect sync, bickering lazily over nothing in particular. Any anxiety that was still in Theo’s stomach has dissipated, and he just feels calm, happy. Laurie hands him a mug of wine, taking a long pull from his own glass.

 

“Fucking hate flying, you know? Too cramped. But man, did I miss New York. And you guys too, of course,” he says.

 

“Of course,” Pippa repeats. He smiles goofily at her.

 

Hobie comes up from the workshop with Popchyk close behind him. Pippa rushes towards him, buries her face in his shoulder. He hugs her tight.

 

“Hi, Pigeon,” he says softly. Theo looks away, feeling as though he’s intruding on something. He takes a sip from his mug. Amy has scooped up Popchyk, and is giving him kisses while he wags his tail. Theo smiles. 

 

The door swings open suddenly, and the sound of Boris laughing drifts into the kitchen. Something squeezes tight in Theo’s chest at the sound of it, the familiar, boisterous, just-too-loud laughter that had filled his years in Vegas and the last few of his time in New York. To him, it’s desert sand, it’s vodka and pot and burnt steak, it’s blood in the mouth and sharing a bed that’s too small. It’s wonderful, it’s perfect. It’s home. 

 

Nothing, though, can beat the feeling he gets seeing Boris pop into the doorway, face lit up by his grin and however much champagne he had at brunch. Their eyes meet, and he knows Boris feels it too. The overwhelming sense of ah, there you are. 

 

Everyone says hello, and by the time Laurie finds the brandy it’s a quarter to five and Theo has had three mugs of wine. He’s warm, inside and out. 

 

Laurie pours everyone a glass, even Beth, who accepts it with a smug grin. Popchyk is curled up in their lap, fast asleep. 

 

“Amy and I have a bit of an announcement,” Laurie says once everyone is situated. 

 

“Oh, my God. You’re not,” Jo says immediately, looking at Amy, who is not holding a glass of anything. She smiles.

 

“Depends on what you mean,” she teases. Jo looks between her and Laurie with glassy eyes. 

 

“Teddy, tell me I’m about to be an aunt again.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t have stolen our thunder, you’re too smart for your own good,” he says, but he’s smiling impossibly big. Jo leaps up and gets their arms around both of them.

 

“Okay, just so everyone is clear, you are pregnant, right?” Beth asks. Amy nods, still being semi-crushed by Jo. Beth grins. 

 

“Oh, Amy, that’s wonderful!” Pippa exclaims. 

 

“Another March running around, I cannot wait!” Boris laughs. He squeezes Theo’s hand, once, twice. Are you okay? Theo squeezes back once. I’m great. And he is, because he gets to be an uncle to a fourth perfect little person.

 

He and Boris throw back their brandy and stand to congratulate the couple. Jo has let them go and is excitedly talking to Pippa, who has both of their hands in hers. Theo catches Pippa’s eye, quirks an eyebrow. She blushes and nods. He smiles back at her. 

 

If before Theo had felt like nothing in his life had gone his way, he wouldn’t be able to recall the feeling, at least not in this moment. He’s about to be an uncle again, and he’s in love, and he’s surrounded by love, and everything feels perfect. He knows it won’t last, that life is never truly perfect, but he doesn’t bother to care. Life can be perfect for one night, for a few days. He remembers that quote from one of the Enlightenment thinkers, Descartes maybe. Perfect not because of an absence of flaws, but perfect due to an abundance of positive traits. He looks around at his friends, his best friends, the love of his fucking life, all smiling and laughing and celebrating a new life, a new person to love endlessly. He grins and leans down to kiss Boris. 

 

“What was that for?” Boris asks. “Not that I am complaining.”

 

“I love you,” Theo whispers.

 

“I know this. Love you too, Potter. And you know that.”

 

“Just thought I’d remind you,” Theo says, and he feels drunk, stupid happy. He giggles.

 

“Well, thank you,” Boris says, and kisses Theo again.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

“Fucking stop it. Jesus,” Jo whines, but they have an arm around Pippa’s waist so there’s no real heat behind it. 

 

Theo just laughs.