Work Header

'cause you're the one i got.

Chapter Text

[dreamsmp3 created a group] 


dreamsmp3: is this thing on


ceo.ofpiano: omg


prideandprejudice2005: Is this all of us?


burninghill: AYO


goldfinches: Oh, hell. 


ceo.oflesbian: oh hellooo theo >:^)


dreamsmp3: catfight? so early? 


goldfinches: Catfight? Really, Boris?


ribsbylorde: don’t make me tap the sign


strawberryblondmp3: no flirting in the chat lads


burninghill: LAURIEEE NOO


ribsbylorde: i’m fucking dead holy shit


ceo.ofpiano: you did it! you killed him!


dreamsmp3: you are all so annoying


ceo.oflesbian: boris. you are lucky i am so merciful. 


goldfinches: What in the hell are you guys talking about?


ribsbylorde: ahem. 


ribsbylorde: boomer. 


ceo.oflesbian: boom roasted


goldfinches: I will leave. I’ll do it.


strawberryblondmp3: :(


dreamsmp3: don’t do that to laurie!


prideandprejudice2005: (Don’t do that to Boris.)


ribsbylorde: MEG. 


burninghill: PLEASE. do not do this to me tonight


ceo.oflesbian: yuh oh. we coming out on main?


ceo.ofpiano: eduardo didn’t come out? 


burninghill: EDUARDO DIDN’T COME OUT. 


prideandprejudice2005: Oh, so that’s allowed? We’re allowing that? 


dreamsmp3: is tuesday night?


burninghill: boris you cannot be drunk


dreamsmp3: no! what i cannot make a joke?


goldfinches: Stop talking about that movie. 


ceo.oflesbian: boo hoo


strawberryblondmp3: anyone in this thread smoke weed


prideandprejudice2005: No one answer that. 


ceo.ofpiano: drugs are bad for you!


ribsbylorde: really?


goldfinches: Had no idea. 


ceo.oflesbian: theo isn’t allowed to talk to beth anymore i’ve just decided 


goldfinches: I was joking!


ceo.oflesbian: gun emoji stay back slut 


dreamsmp3: theo is not a slut


goldfinches: Thanks for defending my honor, Boris. 


dreamsmp3: of course! what else are friends for?


burninghill: huh? what? where am i. 


ribsbylorde: jesus 


ceo.ofpiano: pfffffft


strawberryblondmp3: boris you’re such a genuine motherfucker 


dreamsmp3: thank you!


ribsbylorde: HAAA


strawberryblondmp3: see what i mean!


ceo.oflesbian: yes yes we all love boris


dreamsmp3: oh! i love all of you too! 


ceo.ofpiano: awe


ribsbylorde: all of us…. like every one of us…..


prideandprejudice2005: That is intentionally leading!


goldfinches: What is that leading into?


burninghill: none of you say a fucking word


dreamsmp3: huh?


goldfinches: I think they’re conspiring against us, Boris. 


ceo.ofpiano: we would never 


ceo.oflesbian: i would


strawberryblondmp3: we (jo excluded) would never 


ribsbylorde: jo isn’t that homophobic 


burninghill: AMYYY


burninghill: PLEASE


ribsbylorde: boris isn’t straight!


dreamsmp3: this is true


burninghill: yes but you know that’s not what you meant >:(


ceo.oflesbian: i think it’s about time we have this conversation…..


strawberryblondmp3: and we’re moving on


prideandprejudice2005: We can do this another day.  


goldfinches: I don’t like what any of you are suggesting. 


ceo.ofpiano: this groupchat has barely existed for an hour and it’s already a mess. i love it


ribsbylorde: you’re welcome!


ceo.oflesbian: hey i deserve a little credit


ceo.ofpiano: as a treat


strawberryblondmp3: as a treat


ceo.ofpiano: AYYYYY


dreamsmp3: nice


prideandprejudice2005: Nice. 


ribsbylorde: nice 


goldfinches: I have work tomorrow. 


ceo.ofpiano: goodnight theo !!


strawberryblondmp3: we’ll keep an eye on boris


ceo.oflesbian: no promises 


prideandprejudice2005: Talk to you tomorrow, Theo. I should probably turn in too. 


burninghill: awe :( goodnight you guys


[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches]


dreamsmp3: you okay potter?


goldfinches: Yes, I’m fine. I do actually have work in the morning. 


dreamsmp3: just making sure! goodnight potter! love you 


goldfinches: You too. 


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]


goldfinches: Remind me to talk to you about something tomorrow. 


ceo.ofpiano: okay weirdo


ceo.ofpiano: sleep well! <3


goldfinches: :) <3


[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]


dreamsmp3: is normal to tell friends i love you right?


strawberryblondmp3: absolutely


dreamsmp3: okay that is what i thought 


strawberryblondmp3: if you’re looking for advice on how to behave like a human i’d suggest going to meg she’s much more well adjusted 


dreamsmp3: haha


dreamsmp3: you don’t give yourself enough credit you are a very good man 


strawberryblondmp3: thank you boris :’’


dreamsmp3: talk to you tomorrow laurie!


strawberryblondmp3: talk to you tomorrow :)




[ribsbylorde + strawberryblondmp3]


ribsbylorde: baby


ribsbylorde: dear


ribsbylorde: love of my life


ribsbylorde: i can hear you playing music and like. are you okay 


strawberryblondmp3: YES i’m fine just working on a playlist 


strawberryblondmp3: oh my phone is connected to the speaker. that is why. 


ribsbylorde: dummy. what kind of playlist?


strawberryblondmp3: uh….. maybe a um… makeout type of playlist 




strawberryblondmp3: because it’s about the vibes? perfect makeout song


ribsbylorde: that is such a garbage opinion 


strawberryblondmp3: GARBAGE?


[group: mitski fan club]


strawberryblondmp3: settling this once and for all


ribsbylorde: oh my god


strawberryblondmp3: best makeout song go


ribsbylorde: most other songs besides what you suggested 


strawberryblondmp3: come here and say that to my face!


ribsbylorde: i’m painting i am busy


ceo.ofpiano: you said predatory wasps didn’t you 


strawberryblondmp3: :/


ceo.ofpiano: :/


dreamsmp3: after hours by velvet underground. easy. 


ribsbylorde: boooooo


dreamsmp3: what?!


ribsbylorde: that song is so sad!


prideandprejudice2005: You guys are making out to music? Grow up. 


ceo.oflesbian: WE GET IT YOU’RE MARRIED


burninghill: marceline by willow 


ceo.ofpiano: you touch my hair i’m playing on your bass…. 


dreamsmp3: that’s a euphemism, right? i’m not crazy or gross?


strawberryblondmp3: not in this case no


burninghill: PFFFT


ceo.oflesbian: theo’s gonna beat your ass


ceo.ofpiano: shhhhh


strawberryblondmp3: honestly i would like to see him try. 


prideandprejudjce2005: He could. 


ribsbylorde: he could


dreamsmp3: he could


strawberryblondmp3: BORIS


ceo.ofpiano: AKSHDHSJAK


ceo.oflesbian: betrayal!


dreamsmp3: he called me crazy and gross did he not


goldfinches: Hobie wants to know what’s making my phone have a seizure. 


goldfinches: I would never fight Laurie. 


strawberryblondmp3: i have one friend in this chat apparently 


goldfinches: Slow down. You did call Boris crazy and gross. 


strawberryblondmp3: IT WAS A JOKE


strawberryblondmp3: i can’t stand you people 


dreamsmp3: thank you potter :)


ribsbylorde: i can’t believe none of you have said i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys


ceo.ofpiano: ooooo


goldfinches: Wait, I don’t like the name of this group. 


ceo.oflesbian: oh i forgot you’re straight 




burninghill: JOOOOOOO


strawberryblondmp3: zoinks


prideandprejudice2005: Well Jo, at least you’re trying. I guess. 


burninghill: this chat has aged me ten years


ceo.ofpiano: wait theo come back


goldfinches: Yes?


ceo.ofpiano: say hi to hobie and popchyk for me please!


burninghill: me too


dreamsmp3: me as well


goldfinches: Hobie says hi, and he hopes you’re all doing well. 


dreamsmp3: what did popchyk say


goldfinches: Boris he’s a dog. 


ceo.ofpiano: what did popchyk say


ceo.oflesbian: what did popchyk say


ribsbylorde: what did popchyk say


strawberryblondmp3: what did popchyk say


burninghill: what did popchyk say


prideandprejudice2005: What did Popchyk say?


goldfinches: You guys are rude. 


ceo.oflesbian: OKAY THEO. 


ribsbylorde: me when i’m throwing stones in glass houses 


burninghill: jesus christ 


dreamsmp3: awe potter chin up


goldfinches: I have to get back to work. 


ceo.ofpiano: pet popchyk lots for me :)


burninghill: make hobie bake some gingerbread 


dreamsmp3: tell popchyk i love him!


goldfinches: Do you guys like the dog more than you like me?


dreamsmp3: i love you too potter you know this


ribsbylorde: i am looking away i am looking away


ceo.ofpiano: i love not being able to read


burninghill: so close…..


strawberryblondmp3: yes this is all very exciting but none of you answered my question 


burninghill: first of all i did


ribsbylorde: as did i


dreamsmp3: amy boo’d me


ribsbylorde: i also did that


ceo.oflesbian: like real people do by hozier….. you guys have no taste


ribsbylorde: oh that song….


prideandprejudice2005: A good makeout song needs to be slow, tender, and romantic but not in a sad way. It needs to put you in the mood without being outright horny. 


ribsbylorde: i LOVE seeing my older sister say horny


prideandprejudice2005: But am I wrong?


ribsbylorde: no :/


strawberryblondmp3: meg you’re so wise


ceo.oflesbian: okay but that’s not news


ceo.ofpiano: meg could do or say anything and we’d all be like heart eyes 


burninghill: as we should


[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]


ceo.ofpiano: hey what were you going to talk to me about?


goldfinches: Oh, right. 


goldfinches: Is it normal for friends to say “I love you” to each other?


ceo.ofpiano: theo….. yes absolutely 


ceo.ofpiano: it’s normal to say i love you to anyone you love. it’s not just for significant others and family


goldfinches: Oh, okay. 


ceo.ofpiano: for example, i love you, but i’m obviously not in love with you. you and boris and pippa love hobie. we all love boris. love is everywhere theo and it’s okay to say it!


goldfinches: Thank you, Beth. 


goldfinches: I love you, too. 


ceo.ofpiano: i know! get back to work doofus


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.oflesbian: do you think pippa likes meg more than she likes me


strawberryblondmp3: HUH??


strawberryblondmp3: jo no offense love you lots but WHERE did you get that idea


ceo.oflesbian: as we should….


strawberryblondmp3: jo….


strawberryblondmp3: it’s not like we were all talking about how much we love meg


ceo.oflesbian: shut up


strawberryblondmp3: why do you care so much anyways 


strawberryblondmp3: WAIT


strawberryblondmp3: are you…. do you…….




strawberryblondmp3: of course not!!


[group: mitski fan club]


strawberryblondmp3: what good is a makeout playlist without anyone to make out with though


ceo.oflesbian: oh fuck you


prideandprejudice2005: Sorry, I can‘t relate. 


ribsbylorde: ….. laurie also can’t relate what the fuck


burninghill: must you three always remind the rest of us that we’re single?


dreamsmp3: we will all find love someday!


ceo.ofpiano: okay but jo hates the idea of having to share their time with anyone


ceo.oflesbian: well. 


ceo.oflesbian: idk


ceo.oflesbian: when i thought i was attracted to men i did. but women are objectively better on every level so i don’t really hate the idea anymore i guess


strawberryblondmp3: interesting…. 


ceo.oflesbian: shut up


burninghill: character growth 


prideandprejudice2005: I love my husband but Jo is kind of right. 


burninghill: women are pretty great


ceo.ofpiano: yeah


dreamsmp3: yeah


ribsbylorde: yeah


ceo.oflesbian: theo has left the chat


ribsbylorde: SHUT UPP


ceo.oflesbian: i will once he stops hating women 


ribsbylorde: i don’t want to say it but you’re giving me no other choice 


burninghill: AMY NO


ribsbylorde: i’m just saying like 


prideandprejudice2005: Oh my god. 


ceo.ofpiano: let‘s not 


burninghill: thank you beth you’re doing amazing sweetie 


ceo.ofpiano: :)


[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.ofpiano: hate to do this but i know boris talks to you about theo


ceo.ofpiano: i would like to compare notes


strawberryblondmp3: i have no idea what you’re talking about 


ceo.ofpiano: i may be small but i am not dumb


strawberryblondmp3: never suggested such a thing. what did theo say this time?


ceo.ofpiano: okay he asked me if it was normal for friends to say i love you to each other which is honestly just really sad 


strawberryblondmp3: boris asked me the same thing….


ceo.ofpiano: I HATE IT HERE


strawberryblondmp3: oh you know how boris said after hours for best makeout song?


ceo.ofpiano: yes 


strawberryblondmp3: theo introduced him to that band SPECIFICALLY through that song


ceo.ofpiano: oh :’’


strawberryblondmp3: boris be like yes i love men no i will not admit i’m in love with theo 


ceo.ofpiano: PFFT SHUT UP


strawberryblondmp3: theo does make me kind of sad sometimes though. like he knows literally everyone in his life would accept him but he can’t accept himself and it’s just :((


ceo.ofpiano: oh please don’t make me sad about theo 


strawberryblondmp3: as much as we joke i hope he trusts us enough to come out on his own terms


ceo.ofpiano: he does and he will :( he just needs time


ceo.ofpiano: boris has no excuse though


strawberryblondmp3: HE REALLY DOESN’T


[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]


burninghill: hey


ceo.oflesbian: hello


burninghill: read any good books lately?


burninghill: meg hasn’t had time to read because she’s “busy” with her “kids” and her “job”


ceo.oflesbian: sksksksk


burninghill: and i know you have really good taste! in books and everything else 


ceo.oflesbian: oh tysm :’)


ceo.oflesbian: boris made me read the idiot and i really liked it


ceo.oflesbian: it’s kind of fucked up but it’s boris. so. 


burninghill: oh yeah i’ve been meaning to read that!


ceo.oflesbian: the song of achilles


ceo.oflesbian: is also a really good book that you should read


burninghill: i’m sure it is!! well i trust you :) i’ll report back when i’ve finished at least the idiot 


ceo.oflesbian: okay cool :) enjoy


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]




strawberryblondmp3: oh my god what happened 


[ceo.oflesbian sent a photo]


strawberryblondmp3: AWWWWW


ceo.oflesbian: shut up shut up be quiet shut up


strawberryblondmp3: okay but she’s also a lesbian she has to know what she’s doing 


ceo.oflesbian: some of us are normal 


strawberryblondmp3: but is she


ceo.oflesbian: i think so


strawberryblondmp3: i will wash your hair at night and dry it off with care i will see your body bare and still i will live here



strawberryblondmp3: go to bed love xx try not to yearn too hard


ceo.oflesbian: SHUT UP!!

Chapter Text

[group: mitski fan club]


ceo.ofpiano: my baby my baby you're my baby say it to me :( baby my baby tell your baby that i’m your baby :(


prideandprejudice2005: Is all we do listen to Mitski?




ceo.ofpiano: oof ouch


strawberryblondmp3: can we talk about i will


ceo.oflesbian: NO


goldfinches: Please no. 


ribsbylorde: wait everyone be quiet they agreed on something 


dreamsmp3: i’m more of a “please hurry leave me i can’t breathe please don’t say you love me” man myself 


strawberryblondmp3: oh of course you are


ceo.ofpiano: one word from you and i would jump off of this ledge i’m on baby :/


dreamsmp3: yes precisely 


strawberryblondmp3: is ANYONE else seeing this


ceo.oflesbian: i was so young when i behaved twenty-five


prideandprejudice2005: Yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child. 


goldfinches: What the hell are you guys saying? 


ceo.oflesbian: develop some taste


dreamsmp3: i do have to agree with jo


goldfinches: Boris. 


ceo.oflesbian: THAT ONE HAS GOTTA STING 


ceo.ofpiano: oh no


ribsbylorde: um


burninghill: oh you’re all so dramatic 


strawberryblondmp3: we were talking about mitski what did you expect 


[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]


ceo.ofpiano: theo


ceo.ofpiano: you know it’s not a big deal right


goldfinches: Boris is free to think and say what he wants. I don’t care. 


goldfinches: And I don’t hate Jo. If he agrees with them, that’s just his opinion. It was all a joke anyways. 


ceo.ofpiano: yeah but like


ceo.ofpiano: are you. okay?


goldfinches: Why wouldn’t I be?


ceo.ofpiano: theo :/


[ceo.ofpiano + ceo.oflesbian]


ceo.ofpiano: jo that was rude


ceo.oflesbian: what!


ceo.ofpiano: you know how theo is about boris


ceo.oflesbian: i’m not coddling his feelings beth he’s a fucking grown up


ceo.oflesbian: i’m not saying you have to coddle him! but you can be considerate!


ceo.oflesbian: ugh


ceo.ofpiano: jo


ceo.oflesbian: okay i feel a little bad but i’m not apologizing to him and it’s not up to me to tiptoe around his repression 


ceo.oflesbian: but yeah i guess i didn’t have to say that and i did just want to be mean


ceo.ofpiano: thank you :) i love you


ceo.oflesbian: love you forever never make me feel bad for being mean to theo again xx


[strawberryblondmp3 + ceo.ofpiano] 


strawberryblondmp3: can we talk about “Boris.” ?? i would like to talk about “Boris.” 


ceo.ofpiano: i can’t do this for much longer 


ceo.ofpiano: he was like “i don’t care” but ALSO BORIS. 


strawberryblondmp3: *theo voice* i’m not gay but if my boyfriend doesn’t agree with me i will pout about it


ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE


strawberryblondmp3: did i lie?


ceo.ofpiano: god they are so fucking annoying


strawberryblondmp3: gay people often are :(


ceo.ofpiano: BE QUIET SKJDDJSK


[group: mitski fan club]


ribsbylorde: we all need to meet up again soon


ribsbylorde: i can fly to new york any time


burninghill: oh yes!! i do miss hobie and the shop so much 


burninghill: and all of you of course


dreamsmp3: yes! excellent idea!


ceo.ofpiano: !!!!!!!!!!


strawberryblondmp3: i agree with boris that’s an excellent idea 


ceo.oflesbian: beth are you alright to travel?


prideandprejudice2005: That’s a fair point. 


ceo.ofpiano: oh it’s an hour flight 


ceo.oflesbian: do you have the money for a plane ticket tho


dreamsmp3: i’ll pay! 


ceo.ofpiano: boris you absolutely don’t have to do that


dreamsmp3: i’m happy to! my gift for being such a good friend to me


goldfinches: He won’t back down. I suggest you just let him do it, Beth. 


burninghill: yeah it’s either that or he buys you some $30k necklace while you’re here


dreamsmp3: that was not me that was potter


goldfinches: Can we please not talk about that?


strawberryblondmp3: i’m sorry theo you what. 


goldfinches: I didn't pay market price for it!


ribsbylorde: oh my god


burninghill: it was a hypothetical i wasn’t making fun of theo :(


ceo.oflesbian: you don’t need to defend him it’s okay 


prideandprejudice2005: I’m sure I can find a weekend to take off of work. 


dreamsmp3: i’ll cover your ticket as well meg!


ceo.ofpiano: boris you’re insane i love you


goldfinches: That seems to be the general consensus. 


ribsbylorde: awe


strawberryblondmp3: amy and i can meet up with pippa in london and we can all fly out together


burninghill: yes that’ll be a lot of fun


ceo.oflesbian: theo it’s on SIGHT


goldfinches: Yes, I know. 


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3] 


ceo.oflesbian: teddy teddy i can’t see her in person 


strawberryblondmp3: yes you CAN


strawberryblondmp3: you’re strong and smart and cool as hell


ceo.oflesbian: teddyyyyyy


strawberryblondmp3: calm down you baby


ceo.oflesbian: what if i embarrass myself or say something stupid or too mean and she hates me forever oh god oh god


strawberryblondmp3: well i think any girl would be lucky to have you, and you should stop worrying so much 


ceo.oflesbian: but listen i am ANNOYING and RUDE


strawberryblondmp3: that’s why we love you 


[prideandprejudice2005 + dreamsmp3]


prideandprejudice2005: Thank you so much for offering to pay for Beth and I’s tickets. 


dreamsmp3: i intend to make good on that offer! and is no big deal, love you both, why would i not?


prideandprejudice2005: You’re wonderful, Boris. 


dreamsmp3: so are you and your siblings!


prideandprejudice2005: Oh, about that. I’m sorry for what Jo says about Theo. I know it’s rude but none of us can seem to get them to stop. 


dreamsmp3: oh i don’t mind, potter can be… thick in the head, no?


prideandprejudice2005: Sometimes. 


prideandprejudice2005: He’s lucky to have you as a friend, though. We all are. 


dreamsmp3: sometimes i think he would disagree


prideandprejudice2005: Well, we already agreed that he can be stupid. 


dreamsmp3: that he can be :)


[ceo.ofpiano + dreamsmp3]


ceo.ofpiano: thank u boris!!


dreamsmp3: it’s really no big deal


ceo.ofpiano: i am Very excited to see everyone again


dreamsmp3: me too! have not hung out all together yet right?


ceo.ofpiano: omg you’re right…. 


ceo.ofpiano: i can’t wait to see the Absolute Chaos of it all. jo might literally try to box theo


dreamsmp3: let them. maybe theo needs to be knocked around a little bit


ceo.ofpiano: yeah. he really does sometimes.


dreamsmp3: i don’t want to talk bad about him, he’s my best friend, but sometimes i wish he was not so “theo” i guess


ceo.ofpiano: oh i totally get what you mean. if he didn’t have us two he’d be a total disaster


dreamsmp3: he was, before i came back. and even after for a little bit


ceo.ofpiano: we’re all kind of a mess, in our own ways


dreamsmp3: yeah :)


ceo.ofpiano: :) xx

Chapter Text

[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches] 


dreamsmp3: i’m in town, are you free?


goldfinches: After work, yes. 


dreamsmp3: i‘ll pick you up at the shop then! can say hi to the dog and your old poofter 


goldfinches: I wish you wouldn’t call him that. 


dreamsmp3: bah


dreamsmp3: see you at 6?


goldfinches: You know it. 


dreamsmp3: don’t make any plans for the morning!!


goldfinches: I’m sticking to booze tonight, thanks. 


dreamsmp3: it’s so funny that you think you can say no to me


dreamsmp3: we have discussed my irresistible charm


goldfinches: Boris, don’t. 


dreamsmp3: ha! i’ll see you tonight potter


goldfinches: Yeah, see you. 


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]


goldfinches: I’m going out with Boris tonight. 


ceo.ofpiano: like… on a date?


goldfinches: No. 


ceo.ofpiano: lmao my bad


ceo.ofpiano: so what’s the problem


goldfinches: There’s no problem. 


ceo.ofpiano: then why ?


goldfinches: I don‘t know. 


ceo.ofpiano: take your time love 


goldfinches: What if he thinks it’s a date?


ceo.ofpiano: you guys go out together all the time, i don’t think he does? he always wants to hang out when he’s in town


goldfinches: Okay, but. What if I sort of want it to be a date?


ceo.ofpiano: oh theo


goldfinches: I really enjoy the time we spend together, and sometimes I want it to mean more. But I get sick if I think about it for too long. 


ceo.ofpiano: theo :(


goldfinches: He deserves better. 


ceo.ofpiano: you’re wonderful and he’d be lucky to have you


goldfinches: He probably doesn’t even want me. 


ceo.ofpiano: why don’t you let him decide that?


[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]


dreamsmp3: laurie. 


strawberryblondmp3: what’s up dude


dreamsmp3: i’m going out with potter tonight 


strawberryblondmp3: eye emoji oh?


dreamsmp3: i


dreamsmp3: i think. i like him more than i admit. a lot more 


strawberryblondmp3: i love you so much but i know dude


dreamsmp3: yeah i thought so


strawberryblondmp3: just have a fun night out on the town with your boy and don’t worry about feelings and stuff!


dreamsmp3: he is not mine


strawberryblondmp3: not yet ;)


dreamsmp3: hmph


[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE


strawberryblondmp3: BETH


ceo.ofpiano: you will not. BELIEVE. 


strawberryblondmp3: NEITHER WILL YOU


ceo.ofpiano: i won’t?


strawberryblondmp3: wait


strawberryblondmp3: NO WAY




[strawberryblondmp3 sent a photo]


[ceo.ofpiano sent a photo]


ceo.ofpiano: i can’t do this


strawberryblondmp3: did theo say some repressed shit after that


ceo.ofpiano: yes but be quiet


strawberryblondmp3: this is awful we can’t even do anything we just have to wait. and hope. 


ceo.ofpiano: laurie they’re both so stupid….


strawberryblondmp3: i can’t believe i’m about to say this but we have to let theo deal with his own emotions


ceo.ofpiano: gagging noises 


strawberryblondmp3: i know


[group: mitski fan club] 


ceo.oflesbian: hhh girls


ceo.ofpiano: agreed


burninghill: i second jo’s statement


ceo.oflesbian: wrong chat but thanks for the support guys 


ceo.ofpiano: who else are you talking about girls with :(


strawberryblondmp3: yeah jo who


ceo.oflesbian: you guys suck


ribsbylorde: oh are we talking about girls?


strawberryblondmp3: i‘ve been dying to talk about girls 


burninghill: i wish i had A girl to talk about…. My Girl……


strawberryblondmp3: hmm look closer


ceo.oflesbian: teddy


[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]


ceo.ofpiano: AWE


ceo.oflesbian: why are your guys’ faces pressed together like that-




strawberryblondmp3: i personally enjoy how boris’s hand is splayed across half of theo’s face


ceo.ofpiano: yes very good




ceo.oflesbian: HA


prideandprejudice2005: What in the world is going on??


burninghill: i think boys incorporated got zooted in our dad’s kitchen


ribsbylorde: i love the way you say things


ceo.oflesbian: sigh so dreamy


strawberryblondmp3: oh?


ceo.ofpiano: i’m sorry i personally am not done talking about that picture 


burninghill: that’s the happiest i’ve ever seen theo and i went to his engagement party 


ribsbylorde: LMAO


prideandprejudice2005: It’s almost sickeningly adorable. 


strawberryblondmp3: almost?


ceo.oflesbian: me and the bestie


ribsbylorde: JO


ceo.ofpiano: a couple of bestiessss


burninghill: i think we should be careful about what we say since they aren’t here to defend themselves 


strawberryblondmp3: someone save that picture before one of them deletes it from the chat


ceo.ofpiano: already did!


burninghill: why do i even try omg


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]


goldfinches: Bethh


ceo.ofpiano: oh boy hello theo my dear


goldfinches: Boris is


ceo.ofpiano: keeping an eye on you i hope


goldfinches: I shouldn’t have thought about liking him because it’s all I can think about now and I’m ruining the night because I just keep looking at him and he thinks I’m weird and insane.


ceo.ofpiano: theo i think you’re just really drunk


goldfinches: Yeah.


goldfinches: I don’t know what it feels like to be in love but sometimes around him.


ceo.ofpiano: okayyy i think you need to stop talking before you say something you’ll regret. enjoy the rest of your night and drink some water okay? love you lots theo


goldfinches: I love you too Beth. You are a wonderful friend.


ceo.ofpiano: oh i know


[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.ofpiano: i don’t know what it feels like to be in love but sometimes around him.


strawberryblondmp3: are you straight now???


ceo.ofpiano: ew no


strawberryblondmp3: omg it couldn’t be… 


ceo.ofpiano: i told him to shut up and drink some water


strawberryblondmp3: *thinks very hard about “but sometimes around him” for the rest of my life*


ceo.ofpiano: LITERALLY


ceo.ofpiano: i hate that that man has the ability to possess such tenderness


strawberryblondmp3: theo not repressing an emotion call the fucking press


ceo.ofpiano: LAURIE


[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]


burninghill: from one lesbian to another


ceo.oflesbian: yes


burninghill: do you ever. feel bad for not liking men? and then convince yourself you must like at least one even though you definitely don’t?


ceo.oflesbian: uh yes that’s why laurie and i weren’t talking for a bit


burninghill: not to give into the pressures of society but sometimes i feel terrible for not loving theo because i feel like it would make everything so much easier for him. even though that’s dumb because it’s not my responsibility to make him feel better???


ceo.oflesbian: yeah also he sucks


ceo.oflesbian: i’m sorry but yeah, i get that. at least you can recognize it’s not genuine attraction and it’s not like you’ll act on it or anything


burninghill: yeah god no


burninghill: i mean i do love him but not like that obviously


ceo.oflesbian: obviously


burninghill: sorry not to unload my comphet on you like this but i knew you’d get it so thank you for listening :)


burninghill: sometimes it feels like all we do is talk about theo god


ceo.oflesbian: yeah lol but i’ll always be here to listen to you i hope you know that


burninghill: awe thank you so much jo


burninghill: mwah


ceo.oflesbian: mwah


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.oflesbian: i hate theo decker so much it’s unreal i am going to kill that man with my bare hands


ceo.oflesbian: oh he’s so lucky he’s shitfaced right now oh he’s so lucky


 ceo.oflesbian: when you wake up i will probably be significantly less angry so just ignore this but holy shit i am going to body him


[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]


dreamsmp3: i know is crazy latee in paris but i think you are right about my being in love with potter


dreamsmp3: but he is not in love with me i think


dreamsmp3: i ruined something i’m pretty sure


dreamsmp3: ruined us

Chapter Text

[group: mitski fan club]


goldfinches: Do you guys ever feel really old?


prideandprejudice2005: I try not to think about it. 


ceo.ofpiano: awe is baby hung over


burninghill: theoooo


goldfinches: I will only take half the blame for this. 


ribsbylorde: oh my 


strawberryblondmp3: has anyone heard from boris today?


goldfinches: He was gone when I woke up. 


strawberryblondmp3: when did you wake up


goldfinches: Around eleven, I think. 


strawberryblondmp3: hm


ceo.ofpiano: i’m sure he’s just busy with work


ribsbylorde: what is it that he does again


burninghill: he calls himself an entrepreneur 


ribsbylorde: ah


goldfinches: Laurie, have you really not heard from him at all today? 


ceo.ofpiano: i mean it’s only like three in ny


strawberryblondmp3: still


burninghill: i’m sure he’s fine you guys. beth’s right he’s probably busy 


[goldfinches + dreamsmp3]


goldfinches: Boris?


goldfinches: Everyone is kind of worried. 


goldfinches: I’m sure you’re fine, but maybe check in with at least Laurie. 


goldfinches: If I said anything last night that upset you, I’m sorry. Text me so we can talk about it, or drop by the shop. 


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]


goldfinches: I’m so sorry for texting you while I was so out of it. 


ceo.ofpiano: just say drunk dork


ceo.ofpiano: don’t worry about it theo that’s what friends are for!!


goldfinches: Can we put what I said behind us?


ceo.ofpiano: do you think that's such a good idea babe


goldfinches: I’m not ready, Beth. I can’t do this right now. 


goldfinches: Kitsey and I just called it off. Not all of her friends even know. 


ceo.ofpiano: okay calm down you don’t have to do anything right now, take your time. you can wait. no rush no pressure theo


[strawberryblondmp3 + dreamsmp3]


strawberryblondmp3: hey boris you should answer me 


strawberryblondmp3: whatever happened between you and theo last night, i don’t think it matters anymore. he seems to be fine


strawberryblondmp3: text me when you’re doing better. love you dearest boris goodnight


[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]


burninghill: i am thinking about Love tonight…


ceo.oflesbian: ah yes


burninghill: i just want a hand to hold :( and someone to love me for me :( 


ceo.oflesbian: me too you aren’t special :(


burninghill: sksksk idk maybe i just feel. unlovable? or like no one really sees me, just this performance i put on. like i’m acting through my own life and no one will love me for who i am cause no one knows who i really am. 


ceo.oflesbian: oh 


burninghill: oh my god


ceo.oflesbian: i’m sorry 


burninghill: i’m so sorry


ceo.oflesbian: no don’t be sorry, i just don’t know what to say


burninghill: i made things awkward i feel like


ceo.oflesbian: i mean. personally? i think that anyone could fall in love with the real you. maybe i don’t know it, but the you i do know is amazing and smart and talented and anyone would be lucky to get to know that person. 


burninghill: oh :’’


ceo.oflesbian: sorry if that was weird i’m sorry 


burninghill: no that was so sweet jo


burninghill: i think you know me pretty well :)


[ceo.oflesbian + goldfinches]


ceo.oflesbian: hey douchebag


ceo.oflesbian: how did you know you weren’t in love with pippa


goldfinches: Hello, Jo. 


goldfinches: I had built up an idealized version of her in my head. I saw her as something that connected me to before. To before my mother died, before living with the Barbours, before Vegas. She wasn’t a person to me, she was a means to get back to the life I longed for so much. Once I learned how to be happy with the life I have, I saw that her and I were nothing but friends and that’s all we needed to be. 


ceo.oflesbian: i see. good on you for all that self reflection and personal work


ceo.oflesbian: and how did you realize that you’re in love with boris? 


goldfinches: I’m sorry?


ceo.oflesbian: dude


ceo.oflesbian: like we’re joking we know you and boris are into each other. it’s not a surprise


goldfinches: I’m not interested in Boris. 


goldfinches: Not like that. 


ceo.oflesbian: oh


ceo.oflesbian: shit theo i’m sorry


goldfinches: Does everyone think we’re in love with each other?


ceo.oflesbian: no no no


ceo.oflesbian: i was exaggerating 


goldfinches: Okay, I trust you. 


[ceo.oflesbian + prideandprejudice2005]


ceo.oflesbian: you’re my older sister i can trust you with anything right 


prideandprejudice2005: What did you do?


ceo.oflesbian: nothing!


ceo.oflesbian: well something kind of


prideandprejudice2005: I can keep a secret. Tell me. 


ceo.oflesbian: 1) i have a really big crush on pippa and i think she might like me too 2) i accidentally told theo that we all think he’s in love with boris 


ceo.oflesbian: meg?


prideandprejudice2005: Jesus Christ. 


ceo.oflesbian: did i fuck things up too bad 


prideandprejudice2005: I’m sure you didn’t, but you *have* to learn how to shut up sometimes. 


ceo.oflesbian: i honestly thought he was joking about being repressed


prideandprejudice2005: Jo!


prideandprejudice2005: You at least apologized, right?


ceo.oflesbian: yes of course i’m not completely terrible 


ceo.oflesbian: i hope i didn’t push him further into the closet or anything 


prideandprejudice2005: I don’t think there is a further for Theo, he’s so far back. Also, Pippa? That’s honestly really cute.  I hope that works out for you. 


ceo.oflesbian: thank you i love you


prideandprejudice2005: I love you too. 


[goldfinches + strawberryblondmp3]


goldfinches: Does Boris talk about me?


strawberryblondmp3: hello to you too theo


strawberryblondmp3: you should talk to boris i’m trying to sleep


goldfinches: Laurie, please. 


strawberryblondmp3: his business is not my business my lips are sealed


goldfinches: Jo said that everyone thinks we’re in love with each other. Is that true?


strawberryblondmp3: talk to boris theo


goldfinches: He's not answering his phone. I have no idea where the hell he is. 


strawberryblondmp3: then let him find you


strawberryblondmp3: if i remember correctly he is very good at that isn’t he 


[strawberryblondmp3 + ceo.oflesbian]


strawberryblondmp3: JO YOU DID NOT


ceo.oflesbian: HUH??




ceo.oflesbian: FUCK HOW DID YOU FIND OUT


[ceo.oflesbian sent a photo]


strawberryblondmp3: I’M SORRY?


ceo.oflesbian: yes i know it’s hysterical 


strawberryblondmp3: jo….


ceo.oflesbian: it’s fine i told him i was exaggerating


strawberryblondmp3: why is there so much drama all of a sudden?? is it not enough to text mitski lyrics back and forth for two hours?


ceo.oflesbian: men are stupid as hell that’s why


strawberryblondmp3: you got me there


strawberryblondmp3: i can’t BELIEVE you said that


ceo.oflesbian: yes let's keep talking about it


strawberryblondmp3: awe jo


ceo.oflesbian: not to put my integrity on the line or anything but. i know theo is a douche but if someone had outed me like that or even suggested it when i was going through all of that stuff i probably would’ve freaked out. 


strawberryblondmp3: :(


ceo.oflesbian: do not


strawberryblondmp3: you’re a lovely person jo march


ceo.oflesbian: yeah yeah


ceo.oflesbian: now hurry up and worry about getting to new york i miss my sister 


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano] 


goldfinches: Am I in love with Boris?


ceo.ofpiano: bro i do not know 


ceo.ofpiano: i’m not you, i can’t decide that


goldfinches: If you had to guess, just based on how we act with each other, would you think that we’re in love?


ceo.ofpiano: i would think that you’re two people who obviously care about each other a great deal. whether or not that’s romantic, i don’t think that’s up to me to point out


goldfinches: I think I would. 


ceo.ofpiano: what?


goldfinches: If I saw Boris and I, out on the street or something, I would assume that we’re together. In love. 


ceo.ofpiano: okay, but would that be true?


ceo.ofpiano: theo?


[ceo.ofpiano + dreamsmp3]


ceo.ofpiano: boris if you see theo again today you should text me


ceo.ofpiano: because he stopped answering his phone


ceo.ofpiano: i know you care about him so please just. make sure he’s okay. and make sure you’re okay too. take care of each other 


ceo.ofpiano: love you lots see you soon 


[group: mitski fan club]


[strawberryblondmp3 changed the name of the group to boris search party]


ceo.ofpiano: okay laurie don’t you think that’s a little dramatic 


ribsbylorde: how can he be in his own search party? 


strawberryblondmp3: amy dear really


ribsbylorde: i love and support you


ceo.oflesbian: shut up


burninghill: ^^


strawberryblondmp3: pippa :(


prideandprejudice2005: Laurie, Beth is right. I think that you’re getting a bit worked up. 


ceo.ofpiano: well okay um theo also stopped responding to me so 


burninghill: they could be with each other 


ceo.oflesbian: gross


burninghill: NOT LIKE THAT. 


ribsbylorde: JO


burninghill: * they could be hanging out


ceo.ofpiano: probably not 


strawberryblondmp3: do we know anyone who might’ve seen them last night/today


ceo.oflesbian: okay calm down they’re both grown ups with lives


burninghill: laurie will you feel better if i call hobie?


strawberryblondmp3: ….


strawberryblondmp3: yes. 


ribsbylorde: big baby


strawberryblondmp3: maybe so!


prideandprejudice2005: It’s not like both of them have jobs or anything. 


ceo.ofpiano: it’s about the Circumstances meg


burninghill: hobie said that theo and boris fell asleep there and boris left early in the morning. and apparently theo left about an hour ago and said not to wait up for him. 


ceo.ofpiano: okay that doesn’t sound great


strawberryblondmp3: what could he be doing


ceo.oflesbian: he’s fine 


ribsbylorde: i’m sure he’s alright guys


prideandprejudice2005: They're both smart and capable, they’ll be fine. 


ceo.oflesbian: well


burninghill: let’s not go too far


burninghill: i’m sure they’re fine, alright? theo does stuff like this all the time


[burninghill + goldfinches] 


burninghill: i told hobie to call me if you stop by the shop, so if you want us to know you’re alive just go see him


burninghill: theo i don’t know what you’re doing but please be careful

burninghill: don’t go too crazy okay? love you

Chapter Text

[dreamsmp3 + burninghill]


dreamsmp3: theo with me


dreamsmp3: saw he was not responding to beth, found him drinking at bar next to the barbours with kitsey. brought him to apartment and let him sleep


dreamsmp3: no need to worry anymore we are both fine. talk to you soon pippa 


burninghill: so glad to hear it boris. take good care of our boy <3


[group: boris search party]


burninghill: boris said that he has theo and they’re both fine 


ceo.ofpiano: theo will always find his way home…


ribsbylorde: that’s so sweet


strawberryblondmp3: oh thank god


[strawberryblondmp3 changed the name of the group to welcome home boris and theo]


ribsbylorde: dork


ceo.oflesbian: loser


prideandprejudice2005: See? They’re fine. 


burninghill: nothing to worry about 


strawberryblondmp3: how was i supposed to know!! those two get up to some wild shit 


burninghill: akshdsjka you’re not wrong!


ceo.oflesbian: bro can we please stop talking about boris and theo now


[ceo.ofpiano changed the name of the group to mitski fan club]


ceo.oflesbian: much better


ribsbylorde: can any one of us change the name of the group


strawberryblondmp3: ….. yes


ribsbylorde: inch resting 


strawberryblondmp3: do not abuse this power


ribsbylorde: absolutely no promises :)


[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]


burninghill: for personal reasons i need to know your favorite color


ceo.oflesbian: oh! uh red probably? if i had to pick


burninghill: hm interesting 


ceo.oflesbian: what’s yours?


burninghill: maybe red as well. or yellow


ceo.oflesbian: mcdonald’s color palette 


burninghill: DJDHDJSK


ceo.oflesbian: have amy and laurie said anything about when they’re going to meet up with you so you guys can fly out here?


burninghill: not yet, but i’m due for a visit soon anyways so i might just go ahead and go in the next few weeks or so regardless


burninghill: oooo if you’re free while i’m there i’d love to take you to this beautiful wine bar i went to last time i was in town


ceo.oflesbian: that sounds really awesome hell yeah


burninghill: okay then! it’s a date :) xx


[burninghill + strawberryblondmp3]


burninghill: hey hello sorry if this is a weird question but does jo wear jewelry very often?


strawberryblondmp3: um yeah rings and earrings sometimes


strawberryblondmp3: they have a few necklaces but idk how often they wear them


burninghill: okay cool thank you


strawberryblondmp3: if i may… why do you ask?


burninghill: oh it’s so crazy all of a sudden i have to go right now immediately 


strawberryblondmp3: oh right now? you have to leave right now? 


burninghill: yeah that’s wild i’m so sorry


strawberryblondmp3: pippaaaaa


[group: mitski fan club}


strawberryblondmp3: ok When Are We Meeting Up?


ceo.ofpiano: sometime next month?


ceo.oflesbian: works for me


burninghill: ditto


prideandprejudice2005: I should be able to do that.


strawberryblondmp3: amy said she’s completely free the fourteenth through the sixteenth


ceo.oflesbian: is she reading the chat over your shoulder or smth


strawberryblondmp3: yea


ceo.oflesbian: amazing


ceo.ofpiano: are theo and boris on chat speaking terms?


goldfinches: I’m available pretty much whenever, I just won’t schedule any sales those days.


goldfinches: Boris said he can “make room in his schedule” which means he’s free. 


ceo.oflesbian: is he also reading the chat over your shoulder


goldfinches: No, we’re watching T.V. and I just asked him.


ceo.oflesbian: ah i see


strawberryblondmp3: very domestic. i told amy that theo was in the chat again and she went “oh what are those idiots saying” and grabbed the phone out of my hand.


ceo.oflesbian: again, amazing


burninghill: amy be like I Am A Distinguished Bi


burninghill: also amy:


strawberryblondmp3: LMAO


goldfinches: Boris said to tell you that he can’t wait to see you all. And that we’re distinguished/chaotic. I don’t know what that means.


ceo.ofpiano: WHICH one of you did he call distinguished ?????


ceo.oflesbian: i do not know which one is worse…….


burninghill: i think calling theo distinguished is worse


goldfinches: Thank you, Pippa.


goldfinches: You aren’t all that wrong.


burninghill: see? i am right


strawberryblondmp3: the only distinguished one here is meg


ceo.ofpiano: amen


strawberryblondmp3: amy says amen


ceo.oflesbian: amen


[goldfinches + ceo.oflesbian]


goldfinches: Can we talk?


ceo.oflesbian: hmmm perhaps what is up theodore


goldfinches: Okay, so. 


goldfinches: I think I’m probably gay.


ceo.oflesbian: oh


goldfinches: You don’t have to act surprised. I know you guys all joke about it. 


ceo.oflesbian: i’m more surprised that you’re telling me


ceo.oflesbian: and not like pippa or beth or boris or hobie idk


goldfinches: I don’t know why I’m telling you either.


ceo.oflesbian: well. thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. i know i’m a dick to you and even though you deserve it i still think you should like, be happy with yourself or whatever


goldfinches: Thank you, Jo.


ceo.oflesbian: gagging noises that’s too much being genuine with each other for one day


goldfinches: Agreed.


[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano] 


goldfinches: Can I talk to you?


ceo.ofpiano: of course what’s up


goldfinches: I’m gay. 


ceo.ofpiano: i’m so proud of you theo


ceo.ofpiano: you know that i and everyone else will love and accept you no matter what


goldfinches: I don’t know if I want to tell anyone else yet. 


goldfinches: Well, I did already tell Jo. 


ceo.ofpiano: you told jo first??


goldfinches: Yes, I’m sorry, but they were the first out gay person I ever met so it felt extra safe, I guess. 


ceo.ofpiano: theo i’m not mad at you for telling them before me skdhdhsk you get to pick who you tell and when you tell them. i was just surprised  


goldfinches: You won’t tell anyone else right? 


ceo.ofpiano: of course not theo. pinky promise 


[goldfinches + dreamsmp3]


goldfinches: Where’d you go?


dreamsmp3: needed cigarettes. be back soon


goldfinches: Can we talk when you get back?


dreamsmp3: are you going to call me insane again? or pass out?


goldfinches: Boris, you know I’m sorry.


dreamsmp3: was only messing with you potter ;)


dreamsmp3: of course we can talk. are you okay? 


goldfinches: Yes, I’m fine. Just want to talk about something that’s probably long overdue. 


dreamsmp3: ah okay. see you soon :)


goldfinches: See you.


[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]


dreamsmp3: i think theo is going to say we shouldn’t be friends anymore


strawberryblondmp3: huh??


[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]


dreamsmp3: :/


strawberryblondmp3: i just think that he doesn’t know how to say things like a human sometimes


dreamsmp3: i cannot lose him laurie


strawberryblondmp3: why don’t you calm down, go over there, and see what he has to say?


dreamsmp3: if you are wrong….


strawberryblondmp3: i never am!

Chapter Text

“Honey, I'm home!” Boris says loudly as he walks into the apartment. Popchyk clacks towards him, panting happily. Boris shifts the bags hanging off of his left arm to his right so he can scoop up the dog. 


When he walks into the living room, Theo is sitting on the couch, staring ahead at the wall. He blinks at Boris. 


“Hey,” Theo says. 


“You good, potter?” Boris asks. He drops Popchyk in Theo’s lap and sets the bags down on the coffee table. He sits next to Theo on the couch. 


“Yeah,” Theo says, looking at Boris with a soft, secret smile on his face. “I'm great.”


“Okay, weirdo. Well, I got snacks and picked up food for the baby, and I got cigarettes. Don’t worry, I bought the ones you like, and-“




Boris turns toward Theo, face twisted like he’s saying What? What’d I do? It's a face that Theo, at this point, is very familiar with. The pinch of his eyebrows, the slight curl of his upper lip, the way his hands will open up, palms towards the ceiling. It makes Theo smile again. 


“I wanted to talk,” he says, and Boris’s face drops. He looks away, ahead at the window that overlooks the street. He starts to fiddle with the ring on his left hand. 


“Right,” Boris says. “You are going to tell me that you do not want me around anymore.”




“I have, uh, overstayed my welcome, correct? I should go back to Antwerp.”


“What? No, Boris-“


“Is fine, Potter. I get it. I do not need to be here anymore. I have done all I can for you.”




“Do not try to make me feel better, I know this is-“


“No, Boris, listen to me.”


He reaches up to tilt Boris’s jaw so they’re facing each other again. Popchyk leaps out of Theo’s lap at the movement and settles into his bed. Boris’s eyes are wide, his irises dark against bright whites. Theo doesn’t remember ever seeing his eyes so clear, so void of anything; no redness or glaze, just Boris. Theo has him fully, here in his hands, in front of God and Popchyk. 


“I don’t want you to leave,” he says, voice straining. “I want you to- to stay here. or i’ll go to Europe with you, I just- I want to stay with you. I want to be with you, always. Please.”


His voice splits down the middle on the last word. His hand has moved from Boris’s jaw to his shoulder, almost white-knuckling the fabric of his jacket. Boris nods. 


“What about your ice queen?” he says. His fingertips are brushing against Theo’s knee, and it feels red hot, alive with an absurd amount of energy and nerves his knees shouldn’t even possess. It’s ridiculous, what Boris’s touch does to him. 


“I broke things off, you know this. She’s with Tom now.”


“What about Pippa?”


“Boris, I’m- I’m pretty sure I'm gay.”


There’s a long silence, and Theo is sure he’s said the wrong thing, even though Boris has been out for almost a year at this point and none of their friends are straight and oh, Hobie definitely is gay, but then:


“Theo,” said like tee-o, because Boris has never really said Theo’s name before, and it’s the best Goddamn sound Theo has ever heard, “I know.”


“I'm sorry, you know?”


“Yes, have known since we were children. Was just waiting for you to figure out.”


“Excuse me?”


“Is no big deal-“


“It’s no big deal? No big deal? Boris, I used to have panic attacks about this-“


“We are getting off topic! So, you want to tell me you don’t want me to go to Europe, or that you’re gay?”


Theo coughs, looks past Boris, at the wall behind him. 


“Well, I actually wanted to tell you that, um, I’m also pretty sure I’m in love with you.”


Boris stares at Theo for a beat, and then leans forward, all business, like he had that night in the car, like he’s going to explain how a stolen art trade-off usually goes.


“Potter, this is very important question. Can I kiss you?”


Theo responds by leaning forward and catching Boris’s mouth with his own. It’s nothing compared to how he usually kisses. (But it’s better. So much better.) It’s like how Boris kissed him when he left Vegas- short, to the point. It leaves Theo aching all over for more. 


“You love me,” Boris says, grinning. He tugs Theo closer to him when he tries to shift away. 


“I love you,” Theo says, breathless, and it doesn’t feel as scary as it should. It doesn’t feel like it’s choking him anymore. 


“I love you too, but you know this, yes?” Boris says. His eyes are trained on Theo’s lips, which makes it very hard to think of something to say. 


“No, not a clue,” Theo says, then laughs. Not a clue. Wow. 


Boris laughs too, shakes his head like Theo is an idiot, and he is. He tugs Theo closer again, close enough to kiss. He leans forward and presses a kiss to the corner of Theo’s mouth, a feather light touch that almost tickles. 


“You are so stupid,” he says, and then kisses Theo, “I have loved you my entire life,” another kiss, “and you don’t notice? shame on you,” and another kiss. Theo’s laughing, leaning forward into Boris’s touch. 


“Shut up, oh my God,” he says, but it’s fond and soft and not nearly mean enough. Boris’s smile somehow grows. 


“Laurie will be thrilled,” Boris teases. Theo rolls his eyes. 


“They'll all be absolutely fucking ecstatic. Half of that chat is just jokes about me being gay." 


“Ha!” Boris barks, and it’s so familiar, so Boris that Theo really can’t do anything except press his mouth to Boris’s, to his jaw and his neck and his cheek and anywhere he can reach. He feels like he wants to swallow Boris whole, which is fucked up and weird, but so is he, so is Boris. He feels like if he pressed hard enough against him, he and Boris could meld into one, souls and hearts intertwining like they already have. He scrapes his teeth against the hollow of Boris’s throat. 


“Up, to my room, now,” he mumbles into Boris’s skin. 


“Then get off, whore,” Boris huffs, pushing Theo away. 


“Did you just call me a whore?” Theo says indignantly as he tugs Boris towards the stairs. 


“You can’t keep it in your pants!” Boris exclaims, and shoves Theo’s hands away from where they’re trying to unbutton Boris’s shirt. 


“Neither of us should be keeping it in our pants,” Theo whines. He tugs Boris’s shirt out from his slacks and shoves his hands up it, splaying them across Boris’s ribs. Boris groans. 


“What if Mr. Hobie were to come home right now, huh? What would he say to you groping me on stairs of his apartment?” Boris says, completely out of breath, which is definitely ruining the whole bit. 


“I don't care, I really don’t,” Theo pants. He has the decency to let Boris drag them to the bedroom at least, but Theo shoves him down on the bed as soon as they get inside. The door is still open, and Boris tries to get up. Theo bites his collarbone. 


“I am closing the door,” Boris says firmly, pushing Theo to the side. Theo frowns. 


When Boris gets back in the bed, Theo seems to have calmed down a bit. He looks totally wrecked, but part of that is Boris’s fault. 


“We can slow down, if you want,” Theo says quietly. He looks scared now, like he doesn’t want to get scolded. He’s started to curl into himself. Boris places a confident hand on his cheek. 


“I will do whatever you want,” he says. Theo leans forward and kisses him. 


“I want to- I want…,“ Theo stammers. Boris kisses the tip of his nose. 


“Anything, Theo,” he whispers. 


Theo isn’t used to asking for what he wants, or getting it for that matter. He’s not used to having something, some one that is so completely his. It’s like all the years he had (or thought he had) the painting. What do you do with something that precious, that valuable?


You cherish it, Theo thinks. You love it even if it can’t love you back. (Except Boris can love him back. He does love him back.)


“I want you,” Theo says finally. Boris nods. 


After it all happens, when they are sticky and sweaty and sore and sharing a cigarette, Theo takes Boris’s hand and kisses his ring finger. 


“Do you want to get married?” he asks. He’s fucked out and boneless; he doesn’t really know what he’s saying. Boris chokes on smoke. 


“Do you?” he asks carefully. Theo shrugs. 


“Maybe someday. Only if you’d have me.”


“Potter,” Boris says sternly, shoving lightly at Theo’s bare chest so he looks at him, “I would marry you in a second.”


“Oh,” Theo says. “Okay.”


Theo is fairly certain that he does want to get married, and that he wants to marry Boris. Not today, not anytime soon. But eventually. 


“Beth will be my best man,” Theo giggles. Boris laughs. 


“They will love that! Laurie can be my maid of honor!”


They collapse into each other in a fit of laughter, taking gasping breaths to shush themselves so they don’t wake up Hobie. (He had come home in the middle of it, and there had been a very awkward few minutes of talking to him through the door while they were both naked and extremely preoccupied.)


“I love you,” Theo says once they settle down. He takes Boris’s face in his hands and kisses him hard, a selfish kiss that leaves no room for questions or breathing. “I love you so much.”


“I love you too, Potter. Let’s go to bed, yeah?” 


Theo watches Boris walk from the windowsill to the bed, in nothing but his boxers. His hair is all fucked up, and there are brutal red marks across his chest and ribs. It looks like Theo was trying to eat him. 


“Yeah. Let’s go to bed.”




[strawberryblondmp3 + dreamsmp3]


strawberryblondmp3: how did it go with theo? y’all still friends?


[dreamsmp3 sent a photo]


strawberryblondmp3: OH MY GOD


strawberryblondmp3: FUCKING FINALLY 


strawberryblondmp3: I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO!!!!!


dreamsmp3: thank you :)


dreamsmp3: can’t talk much longer, have sleeping theo to tend to


strawberryblondmp3: disgusting. have fun!


[group: mitski fan club]


ceo.oflesbian: good morning gay people how is everyone 


ribsbylorde: laurie screamed earlier and won’t tell me why


strawberryblondmp3: i told you it’s nothing


ribsbylorde: we are right next to each other. say it to my face like a man. 


ceo.ofpiano: anyone else?


ceo.oflesbian: i think i am going to quit being a writer and just run around in circles for the rest of my life


prideandprejudice2005: Solid plan. 


burninghill: awe jo :(


ceo.oflesbian: i think i will take a walk. perhaps get a bagel


ceo.ofpiano: were you up all night writing again?


ceo.oflesbian: i have left the chat


burninghill: maybe you should take a nap


ceo.oflesbian: it’s like eleven am


ceo.ofpiano: take a nap gun emoji


ribsbylorde: ^^


strawberryblondmp3: ^^


prideandprejudice2005: Take a break, Jo. 


ceo.oflesbian: you guys SUCK


ribsbylorde: love u too


ceo.ofpiano: where are the Boys


strawberryblondmp3: >:^(


ceo.ofpiano: oh my god the OTHER boys


ribsbylorde: he’s literally pouting at his phone lmaoooo


strawberryblondmp3: i am NOT. slander!


strawberryblondmp3: n ee wayz. i think they’re busy


ceo.ofpiano: eye emoji


burninghill: two eye emojis 


ribsbylorde: one day they are going to stop being friends with us


ceo.ofpiano: they would never!


prideandprejudice2005: Boris wouldn’t let that happen. 


ribsbylorde: theo’s kind of a bitch idk what he’s capable of doing 


burninghill: PLEASE


ceo.ofpiano: why did you call theo a bitch? i never said that. we have the receipts. theo is my friend. 


ribsbylorde: DKDJDJKSDN


strawberryblondmp3: theo is a bitch and that’s okay. 


burninghill: we still love him!


ribsbylorde: we do :)


[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches]


dreamsmp3: left to pick up coffee, be back soon, do not fret. love you 


[burninghill + dreamsmp3]


burninghill: good morning love! how are you doing 


dreamsmp3: i am wonderful! me and theo are together now


burninghill: oh are you guys getting breakfast or smth?


dreamsmp3: no we are boyfriends! at least i think so. i guess i did not actually “ask” him. should i?


burninghill: boris


burninghill: if you’re fucking with me i’m going to be so mad


dreamsmp3: i’m offended that you would think that :(




dreamsmp3: i believe so. we slept together, so i hope


burninghill: gross! i’m so happy for you two!!!


dreamsmp3: thank you!! laurie was as well. i’m surprised he didn’t tell the chat


burninghill: we do have some sense of discretion


[burninghill + strawberryblondmp3]


burninghill: BORIS JUST TOLD ME. 


strawberryblondmp3: OH THANK GOD.


burninghill: i can’t believe. 


strawberryblondmp3: shit is crazyyy


burninghill: i wonder if theo knows. that we know


strawberryblondmp3: time will tell… 


burninghill: wait is that what you screamed ab??


strawberryblondmp3: i didn’t SCREAM


burninghill: laurie oh my goodness


[group: mitski fan club]


goldfinches: I can’t think of a funny or interesting way to say this, but Boris and I are together now.


ceo.ofpiano: HUH???


ribsbylorde: like…… DEADASS?


goldfinches: Yes.


goldfinches: And also, I’m gay.


ribsbylorde: i’m gonna have a fucking heart attack


ceo.ofpiano: what’s that fucking meme of tom of tom and jerry fame getting hit in the face with a pie. that’s what this was like.


strawberryblondmp3: NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL


ceo.ofpiano: you told laurie before you told us? wow…..


goldfinches: No, but Boris must have. I’m not surprised. And Beth, I told you I was gay yesterday.


ceo.ofpiano: allow me to be shocked that you're telling the others please


strawberryblondmp3: theo we love you and are very proud of you :) and congratulations to you and boris!


ribsbylorde: yeah what he said


goldfinches: Thank you.


ceo.oflesbian: I LEAVE FOR A FUCKING HOUR?? AND YOU???? HUH???????????


goldfinches: I came out to you already as well. 


ceo.oflesbian: i did NOT think the turn around in relation to boris was going to be this quick. jesus


prideandprejudice2005: Congratulations Theo!


goldfinches: Thank you, Meg. 


dreamsmp3: line at sbux is very long, but glad to see that theo told everyone!!


dreamsmp3: i do not know where pippa is but i told her too


goldfinches: Of course you did.


ceo.oflesbian: NO being gross and couple-y in the chat. i already have to deal with amy and teddy being Like That


dreamsmp3: you wish you were us


ceo.oflesbian: maybe i want a gf! maybe….. 


ceo.oflesbian: i definitely do


ceo.ofpiano: oh worm


burninghill: sigh me too


burninghill: also yay to theo for telling everyone!! congrats darling 


goldfinches: Thank you.


ceo.oflesbian: bro i was YEARNING


burninghill: ah yes my bad please continue 


ceo.oflesbian: i just personally think that it is a little bit ridiculous that i do not have a girlfriend when i am 1) smart 2)


burninghill: oh shut up you are so much more than just intelligent. yes you are incredibly smart but you’re so amazing in so many different ways!!!! 


ceo.oflesbian: oh... 


ceo.ofpiano: bruh i just realized that only THREE out of the EIGHT people in this chat are single. not cool


burninghill: hopefully that’ll change soon


ceo.ofpiano: idk. might say fuck it and talk to the cute girl that works at the pizza place mom and i go to all the time :/


ribsbylorde: VALERIE?? SHE’S SO CUTE YES DO IT!!!!!!


ceo.ofpiano: perhaps.


ceo.ofpiano: but just leave pippa and jo hanging like that? we gotta stick together. single lesbian solidarity


dreamsmp3: lesbian comrades


ribsbylorde: LMAO


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.oflesbian: i just think it is VERY funny that pippa said hopefully that’ll change soon


ceo.oflesbian: is she… you know…. *gestures to indicate that she’s pining for me the same way i am for her*


strawberryblondmp3: you should just fucking ask her out. 


ceo.oflesbian: okay but what if i DIDN’T. hm. thoughts?


strawberryblondmp3: you are literally going to see her in like two weeks. do it then. 


ceo.oflesbian: okay she did kind of ask me out and not to perpetuate lesbian stereotypes but what if she just meant as friends?? she DID say “it’s a date then :) xx” so. could go either way


strawberryblondmp3: where did she ask you to go?


ceo.oflesbian: a wine bar


strawberryblondmp3: jo literally she asked you on a date shut the fuck up oh my god. 


ceo.oflesbian: oKAY i just didn’t know for SURE because sometimes people just say shit like that and it doesn’t mean anything!


strawberryblondmp3: that’s fair. anyways have fun on your date <3


ceo.oflesbian: oh fuck you


[burninghill + goldfinches]


burninghill: off the record. hypothetically. would you be mad if jo and i started dating?


goldfinches: Why would I be?


burninghill: idk because we had some weird stuff happen and you don’t like jo


goldfinches: Pippa, you and Jo are two of my best friends. You’re a lesbian, and I’m gay, so it’s not like any of the stuff that happened really matters, at least not in this context. You should do what makes you happy. 


burninghill: oh thank you theo


goldfinches: You don’t need to ask for my blessing. 


burninghill: yeah i don’t know why i asked you i would have done it anyways


goldfinches: Well, that’s good. 


burninghill: i’m really really proud of you for coming out btw i love you so much theo


goldfinches: I love you too.


goldfinches: Did you reject me because you thought I was gay?


burninghill: i was pretty sure that we were both gay and i knew it would end up bad


burninghill: and all the other stuff i said too but yeah the gay thing Was a factor


goldfinches: That’s fair. Thank God you stopped that before it got going.


burninghill: oh ikr could you IMAGINE. a mess. you and boris are a much better match :)


goldfinches: I think so too. 

Chapter Text

[ribsbylorde + strawberryblondmp3]


ribsbylorde: i’ll be at the airport in like ten minutes 


strawberryblondmp3: okay! i’m here with pippa she says hi


ribsbylorde: hi pippa!! see you soon 


ribsbylorde: are we telling them? 


strawberryblondmp3: i think we should, since we’ll have everyone in one place you know 


ribsbylorde: okay :)


strawberryblondmp3: love you darling see you in a few


ribsbylorde: love you 


[ceo.oflesbian + goldfinches]


ceo.oflesbian: i’m here open up


goldfinches: Give me a minute or two, sorry. 


goldfinches: If you ring the bell Hobie will let you in. 


ceo.oflesbian: this is true


goldfinches: Fine, fine. I’ll be down in a second. 


ceo.oflesbian: is boris here?


goldfinches: Yes. 


ceo.oflesbian: then get your fucking clothes on and hurry up 


goldfinches: Fuck off. 


ceo.oflesbian: you too xx


[prideandprejudice2005 + ceo.ofpiano]


prideandprejudice2005: Are you almost ready? I’ll be out front in about five. 


ceo.ofpiano: yes mom and dad are just triple fucking checking everything 


prideandprejudice2005: Of course. 


ceo.ofpiano: i cannot wait to be Free in the City for a few days


prideandprejudice2005: I’m not letting you drink. 


ceo.ofpiano: MEG i am of AGE


prideandprejudice2005: You’re not supposed to!


ceo.ofpiano: okay…. 


prideandprejudice2005: Theo and Boris and Hobie will listen to me. 


ceo.ofpiano: i WILL argue about this with you in the car. see you in a few


[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]


burninghill: we just boarded!! 


ceo.oflesbian: ahh i’m so excited!


burninghill: me too!! can’t wait to see you <3


ceo.oflesbian: me neither :)


[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]


ceo.oflesbian: i am experiencing gay thoughts 


strawberryblondmp3: i think every thought you have qualifies as a gay thought seeing as you are, in fact, gay


ceo.oflesbian: you are so annoying. 


strawberryblondmp3: you’re just cranky because i’m with your gf


ceo.oflesbian: she’s not my girlfriend!


strawberryblondmp3: isn’t she. isn’t she


[ribsbylorde + ceo.oflesbian]


ribsbylorde: do you wanna be like theo? is that what you want?


ceo.oflesbian: i am nothing like theo how fucking dare you i’ve known i’m gay for years!


ribsbylorde: pippa really likes you so maybe ask her out you wimp


ceo.oflesbian: i WILL in like. ten hours


ribsbylorde: poor beth :( all alone…. 


ceo.oflesbian: oh they are going to put the moves on valerie i can already tell


ribsbylorde: !!! my god these bitches gay! good for them… 


[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]


ceo.ofpiano: i’m so excited to see youuu


goldfinches: Me too. :)


ceo.ofpiano: how's married life been?


goldfinches: We’re not married yet. But it’s been good. It’s been really good. 


ceo.ofpiano: YET??


goldfinches: I think this is it for me. I don’t want anything else, you know?


ceo.ofpiano: theo that is so fucking cute


goldfinches: Don’t tell him I said that. 


ceo.ofpiano: i can’t imagine he feels differently 


ceo.ofpiano: oh we are boarding!! see you in like two hours darling xx


goldfinches: See you then. 


goldfinches: Jo says they can’t wait. 




“I can’t wait any longer!” Jo exclaims dramatically, falling back against the counter. Theo glances over at Boris and rolls his eyes. Boris grins. 


“They’ll be here soon, Jo,” Theo says. He gets up from his seat at the kitchen table and hip-checks them to get to the tea things. They kick at his ankle.


“Ow,” he says, deadpan. They do it again, harder. He flinches for real.


“Children, children, enough. Please,” Boris says tiredly. Theo flips him off without turning around. 


“You’re even an asshole to your boyfriend,” Jo says. Theo is saved from his usual bumbling by footsteps racing up the stairs and Beth bursting through the door. He’s relieved. He doesn’t think Boris would appreciate his denial of their relationship when they are, in fact, in a relationship. 


Jo rushes over to hug Beth, and the two spend a minute embracing and talking over each other in rushed enthusiasm. Boris gets up and joins Theo at the kettle. He leans his head against his arm. 


“How are you, Potter?” Boris asks quietly. 


“I’m doing great, Boris,” Theo answers. He surprises himself with how true the answer really is. His chest feels light, unburdened; he has a day of hanging out with some of his best friends ahead of him, a day full of walking around New York and laughing too loud and drinking way too much wine. 


Boris smiles and gives a little hum of appreciation. Theo turns and gives him a quick kiss on the top of his head. 


“Theodore!” Beth yells, and he barely turns around before they’re on him, hugging him impossibly tonight and laughing wildly. He hugs them back, not being able to help the smile that spreads across his face.


Beth is babbling excitedly about something- he can’t really make it out when their face is pressed into his shoulder. He attempts to untangle himself, but they keep a firm grip on his forearms. He smiles even wider. 


“How’s it been?” they ask, voice lowered dramatically. They make an aborted sort of movement with their head, gesturing to where Boris is talking to Meg. She’s laughing at something he said, head in her hands and shoulders shaking. 


“I told you,” he says, mock annoyed, “It’s been great. Really. Better than I’ve felt in years,” he says quietly. It’s weird, being so open and honest. He knows that it’s good for him, but he can’t escape the feeling that someone- Beth, Hobie, God, maybe- is going to judge him. Beth, of course, does nothing of the sort. They smile a soft, sweet smile, and lean up to kiss his cheek.


“You have no idea how happy I am for you,” they say into his ear. He swallows down the lump in his throat.


“Beth!” Boris says behind them. “You are so rude, not even saying hi to me,” he teases. They laugh and walk over to him, wrapping him in the same vice-grip they had Theo in. Meg makes her way over to Theo. She reaches up to cup his cheek. 


“Hello, my love,” she says.


“Hey, Meg. How’re the kids?”


She sighs. “They are… a lot. They’re fine, they’re great, but, well, I’m sure you can imagine how much of a handful they can be sometimes.”


Theo chuckles. He has met her kids exactly once, on an impulse visit to Massachusetts with Jo. They were lovely children, truly, but the twins liked to fight and Josie had been in a painting phase when he was up there, and Meg spent half of the visit chasing her around with a wet wipe trying to make sure she didn’t get it on the walls. (He had also, though he will never admit it to anyone, gotten so overwhelmed with affection when Demi called him “Uncle Theo” to the point of needing to take a minute in the bathroom so he didn’t cry in front of everyone. Meg asked him to put the twins to bed one night, and carrying them, sleeping and peaceful and perfect, had made his heart burst in his chest. He had given them both hurried kisses on the forehead and ran outside to have a cigarette.)


“Well, tell them that I miss them terribly when you get back.”


“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to hear it. How are you doing, Theo? How’s it been?” she asks. It’s inconspicuous enough to leave room for a generic, boring answer, but worded just the right way so he can be as honest as he wants. He, not for the first time, appreciates her tremendously for being so clever and thoughtful


“It’s been wonderful, it really has. I… I never knew I could be this happy all the time, you know?”


Meg grins. Theo smiles back sheepishly, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment. He feels like a teenager confiding about his crush on the coolest boy in school. But Boris was never the coolest kid in their school, and he never felt this happy as a teen. 


Boris drives Beth and Meg to their hotel for check-in, which leaves Theo and Jo alone. Hobie is in the workshop, pointedly not sticking around after the other parties leave because nothing is more awkward than being the middleman in an argument you don’t know anything about. 


Theo thinks it is a bit ridiculous that everyone assumes that he and Jo can’t be in the same room together without shit hitting the fan. The truth is that he loves Jo dearly, and he’s pretty sure they love him too, they just clash more often than not. And that’s fine. He can’t count how many times he and Boris yelled at each other, or actually threw a punch. But they always made up, because they loved each other. (Not that he loves Jo the same way. Obviously.)


“Hey, doofus,” Jo says, startling him from his thoughts. “You wanna watch a movie?”


“Sure,” he says, shrugging. They make their way to the living room, where Jo spends about ten minutes making fun of his DVD collection. 


“Saving Private Ryan?” Jo says mockingly.


“I think that belongs to Hobie,” Theo shoots back. It doesn’t. 


“God, dude, I know you didn’t come out until like, two weeks ago, but that is no excuse for this abhorrent fucking movie selection.”


“Shut up!”


Jo just turns their head, blinks at him. He sighs, resigning. 


“You know we have Netflix, right? Just come and sit down and we’ll look for something.”


Jo grumbles something rude but nevertheless gets up and joins Theo on the couch, sitting down right next to him so that their shoulders are pressed together, ignoring the enormous amount of space the rest of the couch provides. 


That’s the thing with Jo, Theo thinks. They can never really hide how much they like someone because they need that closeness, that reassurance that the loneliness that sits heavy in their chest is only a fear, a fleeting insecurity that of course is never true. They’re a lot alike in that sense, Theo and Jo. 


Theo gets a text about fifteen minutes into Hot Rod. 


dreamsmp3: forgot to say! took girls out to brunch :) be home in a few hours love you <3


He smiles and sends back a quick Love you too. Jo glances down at his phone and snorts. 


“You guys are so gross,” they say. Theo pushes his shoulder into theirs, and they push back. 


“Are you excited to see Pippa?” Theo asks carefully. He’s not nearly as good at being subtle as he should be, because Jo straightens up next him, eyes darting between him and the movie. 


“I mean, yeah, I haven’t seen her in forever. I was excited to see everyone else, too.”


“Jo, you know I don’t mind if you and Pippa start-“


“Pippa and I aren’t going to start doing anything.”


“Okay, I’m sorry. But just so you know, if you did want to start, that’s fine by me. It’s not like I’m in love with her. You know that.”


Jo deflates slightly, closes their eyes and leans their head on Theo’s shoulder. 


“I like her a lot.”


“She is pretty wonderful.”


“Yeah, I know. I’m just scared, I guess. I’ve never really liked someone this much.”


“Well, I’m probably not the best person to be giving you advice on this. But-“


Jo snorts. 


“But, what I will say is that you should just go for it, Jo.”


They sit in a comfortable silence for a moment. Theo thinks that’s the end of it, and tries to tune back into the movie, but then Jo says, “Thank you, Theo.”


“No, really,” they continue when he scoffs. “That means a lot. Thank you.”


Theo looks at them and realizes they’re not fucking with him. He instantly feels a little terrible about himself, but he just shakes his head. 


“It’s no problem.”



Amy, Laurie, and Pippa get in before the rest are back from brunch. Theo is fretting a bit when they come to the door, hoping that Boris isn’t sitting somewhere absolutely shitfaced on mimosas before two o’clock. He texts Meg, trying to sound as normal as he can. 


goldfinches: Do you know when you’ll be back? The others just got here. 


prideandprejudice2005: On our way now!


Theo sighs in relief and looks up just in time to see Amy barreling towards him for a hug. She gets on her toes to give him a kiss on both cheeks. 


“Glad to see that you and Jo haven’t torn the place apart yet,” she says. 


“Oh, please. Theo and I do get along, you know. Just… not when anyone else is here.”


“You sure you didn’t give him this shiner?” Laurie says, appearing suddenly at Theo’s shoulder. He has a finger hooked on the neck of Theo’s sweater, pulling it down just enough to reveal a dark purple mark that Theo had been so sure wouldn’t be visible. He flushes bright red. Pippa hides her laugh behind her hand, while Amy throws her head back to cackle. Jo makes a retching noise.


“Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to give him shit too. It’s good to see you, man,” Laurie says with a grin as he hugs Theo. When he pulls back, he keeps an arm slung around Theo’s shoulders.


“I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve been on a plane for eight hours, and I sure could use a fucking drink,” he declares. Jo nods in solemn agreement. 


“Laurie, it’s hardly past twelve,” Amy says. 


“The others have already started drinking. What, you think Boris or Meg can resist a good mimosa?” Jo says when Theo makes a face.


“That’s what I was worried about,” he mumbles.


“Oh, come on, they’re adults,” Laurie complains. He dislodges himself from Theo to start poking around in the fridge. Pippa walks up and takes his place.


“Hey, Theo,” she says quietly. He puts an arm around her, draws her in close. 


“Hi,” he whispers back. 


They stand there for a few minutes, watching the other three dip and move around each other in nearly perfect sync, bickering lazily over nothing in particular. Any anxiety that was still in Theo’s stomach has dissipated, and he just feels calm, happy. Laurie hands him a mug of wine, taking a long pull from his own glass.


“Fucking hate flying, you know? Too cramped. But man, did I miss New York. And you guys too, of course,” he says.


“Of course,” Pippa repeats. He smiles goofily at her.


Hobie comes up from the workshop with Popchyk close behind him. Pippa rushes towards him, buries her face in his shoulder. He hugs her tight.


“Hi, Pigeon,” he says softly. Theo looks away, feeling as though he’s intruding on something. He takes a sip from his mug. Amy has scooped up Popchyk, and is giving him kisses while he wags his tail. Theo smiles. 


The door swings open suddenly, and the sound of Boris laughing drifts into the kitchen. Something squeezes tight in Theo’s chest at the sound of it, the familiar, boisterous, just-too-loud laughter that had filled his years in Vegas and the last few of his time in New York. To him, it’s desert sand, it’s vodka and pot and burnt steak, it’s blood in the mouth and sharing a bed that’s too small. It’s wonderful, it’s perfect. It’s home. 


Nothing, though, can beat the feeling he gets seeing Boris pop into the doorway, face lit up by his grin and however much champagne he had at brunch. Their eyes meet, and he knows Boris feels it too. The overwhelming sense of ah, there you are. 


Everyone says hello, and by the time Laurie finds the brandy it’s a quarter to five and Theo has had three mugs of wine. He’s warm, inside and out. 


Laurie pours everyone a glass, even Beth, who accepts it with a smug grin. Popchyk is curled up in their lap, fast asleep. 


“Amy and I have a bit of an announcement,” Laurie says once everyone is situated. 


“Oh, my God. You’re not,” Jo says immediately, looking at Amy, who is not holding a glass of anything. She smiles.


“Depends on what you mean,” she teases. Jo looks between her and Laurie with glassy eyes. 


“Teddy, tell me I’m about to be an aunt again.”


“I wish you wouldn’t have stolen our thunder, you’re too smart for your own good,” he says, but he’s smiling impossibly big. Jo leaps up and gets their arms around both of them.


“Okay, just so everyone is clear, you are pregnant, right?” Beth asks. Amy nods, still being semi-crushed by Jo. Beth grins. 


“Oh, Amy, that’s wonderful!” Pippa exclaims. 


“Another March running around, I cannot wait!” Boris laughs. He squeezes Theo’s hand, once, twice. Are you okay? Theo squeezes back once. I’m great. And he is, because he gets to be an uncle to a fourth perfect little person.


He and Boris throw back their brandy and stand to congratulate the couple. Jo has let them go and is excitedly talking to Pippa, who has both of their hands in hers. Theo catches Pippa’s eye, quirks an eyebrow. She blushes and nods. He smiles back at her. 


If before Theo had felt like nothing in his life had gone his way, he wouldn’t be able to recall the feeling, at least not in this moment. He’s about to be an uncle again, and he’s in love, and he’s surrounded by love, and everything feels perfect. He knows it won’t last, that life is never truly perfect, but he doesn’t bother to care. Life can be perfect for one night, for a few days. He remembers that quote from one of the Enlightenment thinkers, Descartes maybe. Perfect not because of an absence of flaws, but perfect due to an abundance of positive traits. He looks around at his friends, his best friends, the love of his fucking life, all smiling and laughing and celebrating a new life, a new person to love endlessly. He grins and leans down to kiss Boris. 


“What was that for?” Boris asks. “Not that I am complaining.”


“I love you,” Theo whispers.


“I know this. Love you too, Potter. And you know that.”


“Just thought I’d remind you,” Theo says, and he feels drunk, stupid happy. He giggles.


“Well, thank you,” Boris says, and kisses Theo again.


“You’re welcome.”


“Fucking stop it. Jesus,” Jo whines, but they have an arm around Pippa’s waist so there’s no real heat behind it. 


Theo just laughs.