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'cause you're the one i got.

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[dreamsmp3 created a group] 

 

dreamsmp3: is this thing on

 

ceo.ofpiano: omg

 

prideandprejudice2005: Is this all of us?

 

burninghill: AYO

 

goldfinches: Oh, hell. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh hellooo theo >:^)

 

dreamsmp3: catfight? so early? 

 

goldfinches: Catfight? Really, Boris?

 

ribsbylorde: don’t make me tap the sign

 

strawberryblondmp3: no flirting in the chat lads

 

burninghill: LAURIEEE NOO

 

ribsbylorde: i’m fucking dead holy shit

 

ceo.ofpiano: you did it! you killed him!

 

dreamsmp3: you are all so annoying

 

ceo.oflesbian: boris. you are lucky i am so merciful. 

 

goldfinches: What in the hell are you guys talking about?

 

ribsbylorde: ahem. 

 

ribsbylorde: boomer. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: boom roasted

 

goldfinches: I will leave. I’ll do it.

 

strawberryblondmp3: :(

 

dreamsmp3: don’t do that to laurie!

 

prideandprejudice2005: (Don’t do that to Boris.)

 

ribsbylorde: MEG. 

 

burninghill: PLEASE. do not do this to me tonight

 

ceo.oflesbian: yuh oh. we coming out on main?

 

ceo.ofpiano: eduardo didn’t come out? 

 

burninghill: EDUARDO DIDN’T COME OUT. 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Oh, so that’s allowed? We’re allowing that? 

 

dreamsmp3: is tuesday night?

 

burninghill: boris you cannot be drunk

 

dreamsmp3: no! what i cannot make a joke?

 

goldfinches: Stop talking about that movie. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: boo hoo

 

strawberryblondmp3: anyone in this thread smoke weed

 

prideandprejudice2005: No one answer that. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: drugs are bad for you!

 

ribsbylorde: really?

 

goldfinches: Had no idea. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo isn’t allowed to talk to beth anymore i’ve just decided 

 

goldfinches: I was joking!

 

ceo.oflesbian: gun emoji stay back slut 

 

dreamsmp3: theo is not a slut

 

goldfinches: Thanks for defending my honor, Boris. 

 

dreamsmp3: of course! what else are friends for?

 

burninghill: huh? what? where am i. 

 

ribsbylorde: jesus 

 

ceo.ofpiano: pfffffft

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris you’re such a genuine motherfucker 

 

dreamsmp3: thank you!

 

ribsbylorde: HAAA

 

strawberryblondmp3: see what i mean!

 

ceo.oflesbian: yes yes we all love boris

 

dreamsmp3: oh! i love all of you too! 

 

ceo.ofpiano: awe

 

ribsbylorde: all of us…. like every one of us…..

 

prideandprejudice2005: That is intentionally leading!

 

goldfinches: What is that leading into?

 

burninghill: none of you say a fucking word

 

dreamsmp3: huh?

 

goldfinches: I think they’re conspiring against us, Boris. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: we would never 

 

ceo.oflesbian: i would

 

strawberryblondmp3: we (jo excluded) would never 

 

ribsbylorde: jo isn’t that homophobic 

 

burninghill: AMYYY

 

burninghill: PLEASE

 

ribsbylorde: boris isn’t straight!

 

dreamsmp3: this is true

 

burninghill: yes but you know that’s not what you meant >:(

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think it’s about time we have this conversation…..

 

strawberryblondmp3: and we’re moving on

 

prideandprejudice2005: We can do this another day.  

 

goldfinches: I don’t like what any of you are suggesting. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: this groupchat has barely existed for an hour and it’s already a mess. i love it

 

ribsbylorde: you’re welcome!

 

ceo.oflesbian: hey i deserve a little credit

 

ceo.ofpiano: as a treat

 

strawberryblondmp3: as a treat

 

ceo.ofpiano: AYYYYY

 

dreamsmp3: nice

 

prideandprejudice2005: Nice. 

 

ribsbylorde: nice 

 

goldfinches: I have work tomorrow. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: goodnight theo !!

 

strawberryblondmp3: we’ll keep an eye on boris

 

ceo.oflesbian: no promises 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Talk to you tomorrow, Theo. I should probably turn in too. 

 

burninghill: awe :( goodnight you guys

 

[dreamsmp3 + goldfinches]

 

dreamsmp3: you okay potter?

 

goldfinches: Yes, I’m fine. I do actually have work in the morning. 

 

dreamsmp3: just making sure! goodnight potter! love you 

 

goldfinches: You too. 

 

[goldfinches + ceo.ofpiano]

 

goldfinches: Remind me to talk to you about something tomorrow. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay weirdo

 

ceo.ofpiano: sleep well! <3

 

goldfinches: :) <3

 

[dreamsmp3 + strawberryblondmp3]

 

dreamsmp3: is normal to tell friends i love you right?

 

strawberryblondmp3: absolutely

 

dreamsmp3: okay that is what i thought 

 

strawberryblondmp3: if you’re looking for advice on how to behave like a human i’d suggest going to meg she’s much more well adjusted 

 

dreamsmp3: haha

 

dreamsmp3: you don’t give yourself enough credit you are a very good man 

 

strawberryblondmp3: thank you boris :’’

 

dreamsmp3: talk to you tomorrow laurie!

 

strawberryblondmp3: talk to you tomorrow :)

 

__________

 

[ribsbylorde + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ribsbylorde: baby

 

ribsbylorde: dear

 

ribsbylorde: love of my life

 

ribsbylorde: i can hear you playing music and like. are you okay 

 

strawberryblondmp3: YES i’m fine just working on a playlist 

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh my phone is connected to the speaker. that is why. 

 

ribsbylorde: dummy. what kind of playlist?

 

strawberryblondmp3: uh….. maybe a um… makeout type of playlist 

 

ribsbylorde: WHY ARE YOU PLAYING THE PREDATORY WASP OF THE PALISADES IS OUT TO GET US! THEN?????????

 

strawberryblondmp3: because it’s about the vibes? perfect makeout song

 

ribsbylorde: that is such a garbage opinion 

 

strawberryblondmp3: GARBAGE?

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

strawberryblondmp3: settling this once and for all

 

ribsbylorde: oh my god

 

strawberryblondmp3: best makeout song go

 

ribsbylorde: most other songs besides what you suggested 

 

strawberryblondmp3: come here and say that to my face!

 

ribsbylorde: i’m painting i am busy

 

ceo.ofpiano: you said predatory wasps didn’t you 

 

strawberryblondmp3: :/

 

ceo.ofpiano: :/

 

dreamsmp3: after hours by velvet underground. easy. 

 

ribsbylorde: boooooo

 

dreamsmp3: what?!

 

ribsbylorde: that song is so sad!

 

prideandprejudice2005: You guys are making out to music? Grow up. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: WE GET IT YOU’RE MARRIED

 

burninghill: marceline by willow 

 

ceo.ofpiano: you touch my hair i’m playing on your bass…. 

 

dreamsmp3: that’s a euphemism, right? i’m not crazy or gross?

 

strawberryblondmp3: not in this case no

 

burninghill: PFFFT

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo’s gonna beat your ass

 

ceo.ofpiano: shhhhh

 

strawberryblondmp3: honestly i would like to see him try. 

 

prideandprejudjce2005: He could. 

 

ribsbylorde: he could

 

dreamsmp3: he could

 

strawberryblondmp3: BORIS

 

ceo.ofpiano: AKSHDHSJAK

 

ceo.oflesbian: betrayal!

 

dreamsmp3: he called me crazy and gross did he not

 

goldfinches: Hobie wants to know what’s making my phone have a seizure. 

 

goldfinches: I would never fight Laurie. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: i have one friend in this chat apparently 

 

goldfinches: Slow down. You did call Boris crazy and gross. 

 

strawberryblondmp3: IT WAS A JOKE

 

strawberryblondmp3: i can’t stand you people 

 

dreamsmp3: thank you potter :)

 

ribsbylorde: i can’t believe none of you have said i wanna be yours by arctic monkeys

 

ceo.ofpiano: ooooo

 

goldfinches: Wait, I don’t like the name of this group. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh i forgot you’re straight 

 

ribsbylorde: ABSOLUTE CRICKETS

 

burninghill: JOOOOOOO

 

strawberryblondmp3: zoinks

 

prideandprejudice2005: Well Jo, at least you’re trying. I guess. 

 

burninghill: this chat has aged me ten years

 

ceo.ofpiano: wait theo come back

 

goldfinches: Yes?

 

ceo.ofpiano: say hi to hobie and popchyk for me please!

 

burninghill: me too

 

dreamsmp3: me as well

 

goldfinches: Hobie says hi, and he hopes you’re all doing well. 

 

dreamsmp3: what did popchyk say

 

goldfinches: Boris he’s a dog. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: what did popchyk say

 

ceo.oflesbian: what did popchyk say

 

ribsbylorde: what did popchyk say

 

strawberryblondmp3: what did popchyk say

 

burninghill: what did popchyk say

 

prideandprejudice2005: What did Popchyk say?

 

goldfinches: You guys are rude. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: OKAY THEO. 

 

ribsbylorde: me when i’m throwing stones in glass houses 

 

burninghill: jesus christ 

 

dreamsmp3: awe potter chin up

 

goldfinches: I have to get back to work. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: pet popchyk lots for me :)

 

burninghill: make hobie bake some gingerbread 

 

dreamsmp3: tell popchyk i love him!

 

goldfinches: Do you guys like the dog more than you like me?

 

dreamsmp3: i love you too potter you know this

 

ribsbylorde: i am looking away i am looking away

 

ceo.ofpiano: i love not being able to read

 

burninghill: so close…..

 

strawberryblondmp3: yes this is all very exciting but none of you answered my question 

 

burninghill: first of all i did

 

ribsbylorde: as did i

 

dreamsmp3: amy boo’d me

 

ribsbylorde: i also did that

 

ceo.oflesbian: like real people do by hozier….. you guys have no taste

 

ribsbylorde: oh that song….

 

prideandprejudice2005: A good makeout song needs to be slow, tender, and romantic but not in a sad way. It needs to put you in the mood without being outright horny. 

 

ribsbylorde: i LOVE seeing my older sister say horny

 

prideandprejudice2005: But am I wrong?

 

ribsbylorde: no :/

 

strawberryblondmp3: meg you’re so wise

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay but that’s not news

 

ceo.ofpiano: meg could do or say anything and we’d all be like heart eyes 

 

burninghill: as we should

 

[ceo.ofpiano + goldfinches]

 

ceo.ofpiano: hey what were you going to talk to me about?

 

goldfinches: Oh, right. 

 

goldfinches: Is it normal for friends to say “I love you” to each other?

 

ceo.ofpiano: theo….. yes absolutely 

 

ceo.ofpiano: it’s normal to say i love you to anyone you love. it’s not just for significant others and family

 

goldfinches: Oh, okay. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: for example, i love you, but i’m obviously not in love with you. you and boris and pippa love hobie. we all love boris. love is everywhere theo and it’s okay to say it!

 

goldfinches: Thank you, Beth. 

 

goldfinches: I love you, too. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i know! get back to work doofus

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: do you think pippa likes meg more than she likes me

 

strawberryblondmp3: HUH??

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo no offense love you lots but WHERE did you get that idea

 

ceo.oflesbian: as we should….

 

strawberryblondmp3: jo….

 

strawberryblondmp3: it’s not like we were all talking about how much we love meg

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up

 

strawberryblondmp3: why do you care so much anyways 

 

strawberryblondmp3: WAIT

 

strawberryblondmp3: are you…. do you…….

 

ceo.oflesbian: MAYBE BUT LIKE YOU CAN’T TELL ANYONE

 

strawberryblondmp3: of course not!!

 

[group: mitski fan club]

 

strawberryblondmp3: what good is a makeout playlist without anyone to make out with though

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh fuck you

 

prideandprejudice2005: Sorry, I can‘t relate. 

 

ribsbylorde: ….. laurie also can’t relate what the fuck

 

burninghill: must you three always remind the rest of us that we’re single?

 

dreamsmp3: we will all find love someday!

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay but jo hates the idea of having to share their time with anyone

 

ceo.oflesbian: well. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: idk

 

ceo.oflesbian: when i thought i was attracted to men i did. but women are objectively better on every level so i don’t really hate the idea anymore i guess

 

strawberryblondmp3: interesting…. 

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up

 

burninghill: character growth 

 

prideandprejudice2005: I love my husband but Jo is kind of right. 

 

burninghill: women are pretty great

 

ceo.ofpiano: yeah

 

dreamsmp3: yeah

 

ribsbylorde: yeah

 

ceo.oflesbian: theo has left the chat

 

ribsbylorde: SHUT UPP

 

ceo.oflesbian: i will once he stops hating women 

 

ribsbylorde: i don’t want to say it but you’re giving me no other choice 

 

burninghill: AMY NO

 

ribsbylorde: i’m just saying like 

 

prideandprejudice2005: Oh my god. 

 

ceo.ofpiano: let‘s not 

 

burninghill: thank you beth you’re doing amazing sweetie 

 

ceo.ofpiano: :)

 

[ceo.ofpiano + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.ofpiano: hate to do this but i know boris talks to you about theo

 

ceo.ofpiano: i would like to compare notes

 

strawberryblondmp3: i have no idea what you’re talking about 

 

ceo.ofpiano: i may be small but i am not dumb

 

strawberryblondmp3: never suggested such a thing. what did theo say this time?

 

ceo.ofpiano: okay he asked me if it was normal for friends to say i love you to each other which is honestly just really sad 

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris asked me the same thing….

 

ceo.ofpiano: I HATE IT HERE

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh you know how boris said after hours for best makeout song?

 

ceo.ofpiano: yes 

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo introduced him to that band SPECIFICALLY through that song

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh :’’

 

strawberryblondmp3: boris be like yes i love men no i will not admit i’m in love with theo 

 

ceo.ofpiano: PFFT SHUT UP

 

strawberryblondmp3: theo does make me kind of sad sometimes though. like he knows literally everyone in his life would accept him but he can’t accept himself and it’s just :((

 

ceo.ofpiano: oh please don’t make me sad about theo 

 

strawberryblondmp3: as much as we joke i hope he trusts us enough to come out on his own terms

 

ceo.ofpiano: he does and he will :( he just needs time

 

ceo.ofpiano: boris has no excuse though

 

strawberryblondmp3: HE REALLY DOESN’T

 

[burninghill + ceo.oflesbian]

 

burninghill: hey

 

ceo.oflesbian: hello

 

burninghill: read any good books lately?

 

burninghill: meg hasn’t had time to read because she’s “busy” with her “kids” and her “job”

 

ceo.oflesbian: sksksksk

 

burninghill: and i know you have really good taste! in books and everything else 

 

ceo.oflesbian: oh tysm :’)

 

ceo.oflesbian: boris made me read the idiot and i really liked it

 

ceo.oflesbian: it’s kind of fucked up but it’s boris. so. 

 

burninghill: oh yeah i’ve been meaning to read that!

 

ceo.oflesbian: the song of achilles

 

ceo.oflesbian: is also a really good book that you should read

 

burninghill: i’m sure it is!! well i trust you :) i’ll report back when i’ve finished at least the idiot 

 

ceo.oflesbian: okay cool :) enjoy

 

[ceo.oflesbian + strawberryblondmp3]

 

ceo.oflesbian: FEELING VERY I WILL BY MITSKI RIGHT NOW

 

strawberryblondmp3: oh my god what happened 

 

[ceo.oflesbian sent a photo]

 

strawberryblondmp3: AWWWWW

 

ceo.oflesbian: shut up shut up be quiet shut up

 

strawberryblondmp3: okay but she’s also a lesbian she has to know what she’s doing 

 

ceo.oflesbian: some of us are normal 

 

strawberryblondmp3: but is she

 

ceo.oflesbian: i think so

 

strawberryblondmp3: i will wash your hair at night and dry it off with care i will see your body bare and still i will live here


ceo.oflesbian:
lesbophobe

 

strawberryblondmp3: go to bed love xx try not to yearn too hard

 

ceo.oflesbian: SHUT UP!!