Barbados, surprisingly enough, has laws. They agree to lie low and not do anything illegal. They just want to enjoy the beaches and the drinks.
They split up the rooms easily, everyone has their own rooms but Shoo and Josie. They don't think they could be apart. It's only until Dean comes, Josie says. They get another room for when Dean comes.
They don't use their rooms the first day. They're out enjoying the sunshine. That night, they gather in Ellie's room and get drunk. They don't leave until the morning.
The days blur together for them, it's all sunshine and relaxation. Ellie doesn't say anything when Hannah crawls into her bed, mumbling something about Roy. She stays that night and the next and the next.
One night, they are all drunk. Sadie is asleep on the couch and they are quiet out of fear they'll wake her. She wakes up with a gasp and they try to comfort her. She shrinks away from them and looks up at them with a scared look that only Shoo is familiar with. They don't complain and Sadie doesn't bring it up.
Ellie awakes one night to see both Hannah and Shoo in her bed. Shoo looks up at her with pleading eyes and Ellie lets her stay.
Shoo always watches for Dean, from her chair. Hannah complains it's ruining her fun but they don't say anything to Shoo. They still hope Shoo'll see Dean.
Ellie wakes up to the door opening and for a moment, thinks it's Euan come to get his revenge. When she sees the familiar curls of Josie, she relaxes. Josie mutters something about not having slept alone in ages and pushes Shoo closer to Hannah.
Getting drunk, Sadie proclaims one night, isn't fun all alone. Everyone agrees strongly with that sentiment. Sadie laughs and says they should visit Ann Marie's boy eventually. Maybe he'll take after Sadie, Josie jokes. Not Euan, they all think.
Sometimes one of them cries in bed, they aren't sure who. They all have a reason to cry, a reason to be scared of the dark so they just murmur empty platitudes. It'll get better, it'll be better in the morning, they swear up and down. It always seems better in the morning.
Nobody complains when Ellie changes the amount of rooms to three, one with the biggest bed the hotel can provide. Sadie says it's for the better, more room to get drunk. Hannah doesn't say the rooms reminded her of the jail, with such small beds.
One by one, they arrive in Ellie's room to get drunk and only one leaves every night. They don't offer for Sadie to sleep with them.
One for Sadie, one for them and one for all the empty promises and love that never had the chance to bloom.
They have a toast one night. Sadie is laughing and trying to not fall asleep on Shoo. Ellie is the first to stand and she gives them all the biggest smile.
She brings up the idea of a toast. Sadie offers to have shots instead, and much less talking. They agree and they all take turns calling out toasts.
One for Sadie, one for the family they have found, one for fantastic Hope Springs, one for Mo, one for Ina, one for Gil, one for Ann Marie, one for Ann Marie's boy, one for Ronan, one for Nash, one for Dean, one for sweet sweet Dean's mother, one for Hannah, one for Shoo, one for Josie, one for Ellie, and they all are too tired to go on.
They have one last drink before they call it a night. Ellie stares down at her drink and thinks, one for Roy.
One for Roy, one for Marius, one for Euan, one for all the monsters that stalk them in their nightmares, one for the fears that clings to them, one for every broken heart, one for every tear they cry and one for Hope Springs.