As he watched the activity ensuing in front of him, Wei Wuxian couldn’t decide if this was a good thing, or if he had made a huge mistake. On one hand, making his way back to the Guanyin Temple had apparently been a good idea, if the scene in front of him was any indication; unlike previously, the temple was no longer empty, and Wei Wuxian could see that it was packed with large numbers of archers and monks, and, standing in a corner, Lan Xichen. He couldn’t see Jin Guangyao in there, but he was sure he had to be around here somewhere.
On the other hand…he spared a glance at Lan Wangji, who was standing beside him, and then down at the large chicken and jujubes he held in his arms. Lan Wangij had very considerately offered to hold them for him, because apparently those stolen goods now belonged to Wei Wuxian.
They obviously had to do something about this, but he just wasn’t sure if the best time to do that was when Lan Wangji was completely drunk.
Honestly, coming here had been a spur of the moment idea. He’d needed to do something to distract Lan Wangji from defacing private property, because if there was one thing he had learnt from all of this, it was that a drunk Lan Zhan was apparently a Lan Zhan who was more than willing to break the Gusu Sect rules.
(He was sure that ‘stealing chickens is prohibited’ and ‘don’t steal jujubes’ were somewhere amongst those four thousand rules).
Before Lan Wangji could wreak anymore chaos, and potentially wake people up and really put them in a huge mess, Wei Wuxian had suggested they take another look at the Guanyin Temple.
Lan Wangji had stared at him blankly for a few seconds, and had then grabbed his arm, and started dragging him in the general direction of it. Wei Wuxian supposed that was a good sign.
And now they stood in front of it, and Jin Guangyao was obviously up to something; Wei Wuxian just had no idea how to go about intervening. Should he tell Lan Wangji to stay out here while he went inside and tried to do something?
“Lan Zhan,” he said quietly, “You stay here, alright?”
“I’ll be quick!” he insisted. “Lan Zhan, your brother is in there — ”
“Will stay with Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, without blinking.
“You’re drunk! You really shouldn’t — ” And then anything else he was planning to say was cut off abruptly when he felt something wrap around his neck. His eyes widened in alarm, and he tried to turn his head.
“I wouldn’t move if I were you,” Jin Guangyao said calmly. “Honestly, I'm surprised you weren't more subtle about this.”
Wei Wuxian decided not to tell him that this was very much not planned. He reached for his flute, but stopped when he felt the thing around his neck — a wire, he realised — tighten.
“Don’t move,” Jin Guangyao told him. Wei Wuxian could see Lan Xichen making his way over, his usual smile absent from his face. He looked stressed, which was an expression Wei Wuxian hadn’t seen on his face before.
“A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said, “stop this, please.”
“I won’t hurt him as long as your brother does what I tell him to,” Jin Guangyao said. He turned to Lan Wangji, who was watching them with eyes that were ever so slightly narrowed. “Hanguang-Jun — unsheathe Bichen, and lay it on the floor. Then, I want you to seal your spiritual powers.” He smiled politely, as if they were having a friendly conversation over tea, and not dealing with a hostage situation.
Wei Wuxian bit back a curse. God, how could he have been so careless? He should have been paying more attention to his surroundings. And bringing Lan Wangji here, in his state…
“Lan Zhan, don’t do it!” he called out desperately.
“Don’t do this, please," Lan Xichen said, shaking his head.
Jin Guangyao watched Lan Wangji expectantly, and probably fully expected Lan Wangji to comply with his actions. It was probably why he was taken completely off guard by what Lan Wangji did end up doing, and had no time to react when a jujube came hurtling towards his head.
Lan Wangji, who had just thrown the offending item, barely looked like he had expelled any effort in the action. However, Wei Wuxian remembered the incredible strength that the Lans seemed to possess, that seemed even greater in Lan Wangji.
The jujube hit its mark directly on Jin Guangyao’s forehead, and Wei Wuxian heard an odd cracking noise. The next moment, Jin Guangyao was toppling backwards, and falling limply on the ground.
Wei Wuxian’s hand flew up to his neck, and he breathed a sigh of relief to find it still fully intact. He didn’t really fancy dying a second time, at least not just yet.
“Mine,” Lan Wangji said coldly, glaring at Jin Guangyao’s inert form.
Lan Xichen stared at his brother, his mouth parted in surprise.
There was a cry of alarm from the other people in the temple, and suddenly they found themselves facing a tide of arrows coming their way. Wei Wuxian’s hand twitched towards his flute, but before he could properly react, Lan Wangji was leaping forward, Bichen withdrawn. In one swift move, he sent the arrows flying back, and moved with terrifying accuracy for a drunk man.
Wei Wuxian stared at him, thinking in awe, ‘Lan Zhan is really amazing…’ He then shook his head quickly, reminding himself that now really wasn’t the time to hang around watching Lan Wangji; he needed to help him.
First thing’s first though; Wei Wuxian knelt down beside Jin Guangyao’s inert form. He reached out, grabbed onto the edge of the man’s sleeve, and began tearing the material.
“What are you doing?” Lan Xichen asked, kneeling down beside him.
“Tying him up,” Wei Wuxian told him. Honestly, he wasn’t sure how effective this would be, but at least it would slow the man down if he did wake up soon.
Lan Xichen watched Jin Guangyao with an exhausted look in his eyes. He shook his head, and forced his gaze away, focusing it instead on Wei Wuxian.
“Young Master Wei,” he said, “why is my brother drunk?”
Wei Wuxian blinked. “Oh, you can tell?”
Lan Xichen looked slightly incredulous. “Wei Wuxian, Wangji is obviously drunk.”
Well, he supposed that, regardless of how well Lan Wangij managed to hide his drunken state, there was no way the great brother reader would ever miss it. Lowering his gaze, Wei Wuxian went back to tying up Jin Guangyao.
“Yes, he’s drunk,” Wei Wuxian told Lan Xichen as he finished his work. “But it was an accident, really! Lan Zhan has been acting so strange though…he gave me that chicken over there, and then all of these jujubes.”
Wei Wuxian glanced up, his brow furrowing in confusion when he saw that Lan Xichen was watching him with exasperation in his gaze.
“Young Master Wei,” he said, his tone slightly admonishing, “I think it’s very obvious why Wangji gave you those things.”
Wei Wuxian blinked. “Uh, Zewu-Jun, it’s really not.”
“You — ” The other man frowned slightly. “Young Master Wei…don’t tell me that you are still unaware of Wangji’s feelings? After all this time…”
Wei Wuxian’s mouth opened and closed slightly. He continued to watch Lan Xichen, feeling utterly bewildered. “Zewu-Jun, I don’t understand…what do you mean, Lan Zhan’s feelings…?”
Lan Xichen closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. “You need to speak to Wangji about this,” he said, moving to stand up. Wei Wuxian’s hand darted forward and latched on.
“Please!” he said, almost desperately. “Does Lan Zhan…does he like me that way…?”
"Does he — ?” Lan Xichen looked almost pained for a moment. “Young Master Wei, my brother was obviously trying to court you tonight.”
“But he’s drunk!”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t just as real as they ever were! How do you think — ” Whatever Lan Xichen had been about to say cut off abruptly as he realised that they were essentially in the middle of an active battle scene, and had left all of the hard work to a drunk man.
Wei Wuxian also leapt to his feet, getting ready to rush to Lan Wangji’s side, when he realised that there was really no point; all of the attackers lay scattered on the floor, with Lan Wangji standing to the side, looking utterly unconcerned.
Oh, he really was just too amazing.
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cried, running forward. “Lan Zhan, I — ”
“What is going on here?!”
They all turned towards the doorway, where a stunned Jin Ling was standing, staring at the mess in front of him. His eyes focused on Jin Guangyao’s inert form, and widened further.
“Young Master Jin,” Lan Xichen said, “you really shouldn’t be here.”
Wei Wuxian probably would have agreed — this place could still be dangerous, regardless if Lan Wangji had, quite impressively, neutralised any threats for the time being — but then his eyes landed on Fairy, and he let out a shriek of terror.
Of course that turned out to be the worst thing he could have done, because suddenly Fairy’s attention was solely on him. The dog came bounding forward, and Wei Wuxian let out another hysterical scream.
“Lan Zhan!” he wailed, running towards the man. “Save me!”
Lan Wangji glanced up, his expression as blank and unchanging as ever. With a sudden jump, he was standing in front of Wei Wuxian, with Bichen unsheathed and pointed towards the excited animal.
He then proceeded to give the dog what was probably the most terrifying (and sexy) expression Wei Wuxian had ever seen. Fairy came to an abrupt halt, let out a loud whimper, and turn and ran straight out of the temple.
“What the hell?!” Jin Ling cried. “Why would you point your sword at my dog?! Fairy, come back!”
Wei Wuxian was still shaking on his feet. Lan Wangji turned towards him, his expression softening, and Wei Wuxian let out a cry and threw himself forward.
“Lan Zhan, that was amazing! Thank you so much…" He clutched at Lan Wangji with shaking hands, and briefly acknowledged that if he had intended to confess his feelings, he was probably actively ruining his chances right now.
Lan Wangji stared at him blankly for a few moments, seemingly unable to process what he was saying. A moment later, he reached down and picked up the large chicken, that had ended up on the floor somewhere amidst all of this madness, and held it out towards Wei Wuxian. “For Wei Ying.”
Wei Wuxian smiled brightly. “Yes, I know Lan Zhan, you already gave it to me.”
Lan Wangji’s brow furrowed slightly.
Lan Xichen’s words echoed over and over in his head, and before he could stop himself, he found himself asking, “Lan Zhan…Lan Zhan do you really…do you really have feelings for me?”
Lan Wangji stares at him for a moment. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian found himself being yanked forward, his head pressed firmly against Lan Wangji’s chest.
His very firm, very muscular chest…
“The heartbeats,” Lan Wangji said, his hands gentle as he held Wei Wuxian close. “Listen to the heartbeats.”
Wei Wuxian let out a small huff, the memory of Lan Wangji doing this once before still vivid in his mind. “Yes, yes, the heartbeats are good.”
Wei Wuxian sighed, and allowed his head to rest on Lan Wangji’s chest. Honestly, it wasn’t that much of a sacrifice, what with him enjoying his current position very much. That being said, he would very much like to know if his feelings were truly returned.
“Lan Zhan,” he said, “could we please — ”
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji said, shaking his head, “the heartbeats.”
“I — Lan Zhan, I am listening, and I don’t understand…” His words trailed off, and his eyes widened with sudden realisation.
Oh — could that be what he meant — ?
“Lan Zhan,” he said, his voice trembling, “I — yes, yes, the heartbeats are good, but could I please have a verbal confirmation as well?!”
Lan Wangji frowned, and Wei Wuxian, trembling with unrepressed anticipation, said, “Lan Zhan…do you truly return my feelings?”
(Watching them from a corner, Lan Xichen stood amongst the strewn bodies of their enemies, and felt despair well inside of him. Perhaps this hadn’t been the best moment to tell Wei Wuxian of his brother’s feelings).
Without any warning, Lan Wangji pulled away, and promptly walked towards the large statue, unsheathing his sword once more. Wei Wuxian watched on with wide eyes, and Lan Xichen let out an alarmed noise.
“Wangji, perhaps — ”
“Oh my god, what is happening here?!” Jin Ling yelled.
Ignoring those around him, Lan Wangji began to carve something into the stone of a statue. After a few brief moments, he stood aside, gazing impassively at the words now carved into the statue.
‘Lan Wangji of Gusu loves Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng.’
Wei Wuxian let out a loud squeaking noise, feeling the blood rush to his face. He couldn’t stop the uncontrollable grin that spread over his face, and he dashed forward, throwing himself at Lan Wangji. In one swift motion, Lan Wangji dropped his sword, and held his arms out for Wei Wuxian.
“Oh Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cried, burrowing closer. “I love you too!”
From behind them, Lan Xichen let out an odd choking sound. Jin Ling let out another cry of frustration, but it all seemed to fall on deaf ears since neither Wei Wuxian nor Lan Wangji really cared.
It should have occurred to Wei Wuxian that maybe this wasn’t the best time for this. They were surrounded by the bodies of their enemies who could potentially wake up at any moment. Jin Guangyao was only a few metres away from them, and he could wake up at any moment too, and that would be — well, depending on whether or not Lan Xichen had regained control of his spiritual powers or not, it may not be that bad of a thing…
…Ahh well, that was good enough for him.
“Lan Zhan, you’re really amazing, you know?” Wei Wuxian murmured, burrowing closer. “So amazing, and strong, and beautiful — the most amazing, beautiful man in the world — ”
“No? Er-gege, I only speak the truth!”
“Wei Ying is the most amazing. Wei Ying is the most beautiful.”
A moment later, Wei Wuxian found himself swept up in Lan Wangji’s arms. He let out a squeal of delight, ignoring the look of horror Jin Ling was giving him, or the way Lan Xichen’s expression seemed frozen on his face.
“Ah, Lan Zhan…” Wei Wuxian said, when he realised that Lan Wangji was moving quickly towards the doorway, “perhaps we shouldn’t leave just yet, we still have a few things to do here…”
Lan Wangji froze. Instead of lowering Wei Wuxian to the ground, he reached down, and grabbed the chicken that Wei Wuxian had long since deposited back on the ground. He placed it on Wei Wuxian’s chest, and then proceeded to run towards the exit.
“Ahh, not quite what I meant,” Wei Wuxian sighed, patting the chicken absentmindedly.
“Wangji!” Lan Xichen called out. “Wangji, please slow down — ”
“Just what is — ”
In all the chaos, it took Wei Wuxian a moment to realise that Jiang Cheng had just appeared in the doorway. Wei Wuxian barely had time to even call out a greeting to his former brother, before Lan Wangji was literally knocking him to the floor, and running over him.
Jiang Cheng let out a furious yell, his opinions of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian decreasing even further. He batted away Jin Ling, who had ran over to him with a cry of concern, and silently plotted his revenge.
(Later, when he saw the newly engraved "Wei Wuxian of Yunmeng" on the statue, he might have felt a hint of smug pride - that he quickly convinced himself was probably just gas, and stomped away furiously).
As Lan Wangji hurried away, Wei Wuxian heard a sudden scream echo from behind him. He tried to turn around, but found that they were already too far away to do much, and Lan Wangji’s grip on him was just so firm, and strong —
He lay back in the arm’s of his one true love, and resigned himself to his fate (and well, if his heart beat a little bit too fast, and he was maybe thinking a few dirty thoughts here and there, who would blame him with someone like Lan Wangji holding him close?).
Back in the temple, a freshly awake Jin Guangyao continued to scream in horror and despair as he gazed upon the ruined statue.
“A-Yao,” Lan Xichen said, his eyes narrowed. His hand was clutched around his sword, his spiritual powers having returned to him by this point, “there is no point in resisting.”
“What did they DO?!”
Eventually, Wei Wuxian would manage to convince Lan Wangji to return to the temple to make sure that everything was really okay (and just in time for Nie Mingjue’s dramatic entrance). After much kissing and sobering up, they made their grand return, with absolutely no one happy to see them again.
All in all, Wei Wuxian would say the night had gone really well.