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The guide for a bumpy date

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Special thanks to my beta-reader tmwillson3 for helping me out with this one-shot.

Everything that happened seemed to be a fading dream. A terrible, awful nightmare that needs to be forgotten. My evil grandfather, Palpatine was dead, and I discovered that one member of my family was still in the world of the living.

Most importantly, Ben Solo - formerly Kylo Ren, aka the Supreme Leader - was alive.

Now true peace could finally reign in the galaxy, starting with Ben being pardoned for his crimes and serving a probation period on Naboo.

"I said no. You won't go to a date with Kylo Ren,” added a young man, close to his thirties, with brown hair and gray eyes, shaking his head in mild annoyance.

"His name is Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. And you won't be able to stop me. If I remember correctly, I was the one to defeat our grandfather while you were hiding like a coward, Ken,"Rey replied, while, for a brief moment, the fingers around her hair brush became very tight.

Ken gripped his knees with his hands, aggravated by Rey's words.

"I can't believe we are having this discussion again. You know pretty well your dear boyfriend and his knights hunted down any force sensitive and killed them if they didn't join them. Do you think it was easy for me to stay out of the fight? Or feel you dying through the Force and then you getting back to life? You are the only family I have, Rey, and I don't want him hurting you again."

Rey stopped brushing her hair and approached her cousin, touching his forearm.

"Ken, I know you’re worried about me, but I can take care of myself. Remember, I lived on Jakku for the first 19 years of my life, and I defeated Ben when he was Kylo Ren. So I will be fine."

"I know, Rey, all that I'm saying is that....", Ken started to say, neither him nor Rey hearing the front door opening and a third voice asking at the same time: "Are you ready Rey, for our date?"

Suddenly Ken's head snapped in the direction of Ben's voice, looking sharply at him with daggers in his eyes.

In the meantime, Rey put her hand to her temple, muttering "Here we go again."

Ben Solo, who didn't realize he walked into a mine field, looked at Ken with cold indifference.

"You! If you dare to hurt my baby cousin ever again, I swear that I will hunt you down, and you'll wish for death by rathtars when I'm done with you," Ken shouted with gritted teeth, while pointing accusingly at Ben.

Rey, who by this point had enough with her older cousin's idiotic behaviour, grabbed Ben’s hand, and then both of them started moving towards the door.

Before they actually manage to exit the house, Ken's desperate voice stopped them.


"What?!" both Rey and Ben asked.

"If you’re thinking for one second, that you’re getting that easily off the hook, Ben, then you are gravely mistaken," Ken added with an authoritative voice.

Then he handed Ben a pile of papers thicker than a lightsaber.


These rules are mandatory:

1. Don’t lose her from your sight.
2. Make sure she’s having a good time
3. You must stay at least three feet away from her
4. Don’t let her talk to strangers (they could be assassins in disguise)
5. Do not kiss her (again)
6. Do not holds hands unless she initiates the contact
7. Do not offer her your cloak (she won’t need it anyway)
8. Do not...
100. Do not walk around shirtless in Rey’s presence

Ben was a little exasperated by the absurdity of the rules, wishing for a brief moment to force choke Ken, while Rey felt embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands.

"Is this all?" Ben asked seemingly bored.

Ken shook his head yes, and Ben and Rey exited the house.

Two hours later, after making up chores to keep himself busy and to prevent making a hole in his floor from pacing, Ken couldn't wait any longer and went to look for Rey and Kylo Ren.

Unfortunately, it was Freedom Day, and soon Ken discovered that it was pretty difficult, almost impossible, to move through the crowds of people while at the same time looking for his baby cousin and her huge and tall boyfriend. He tried to find their force signatures, but it seemed that both of them cut their link to the Force.

While Ken began a fruitless search for Rey and Ben, both of them were lying down on a hill, Rey keeping her head on Ben's shoulder, watching the starry sky.

"I really wish we could stay like this forever," Rey added with a longing voice.

"I wish we wouldn't need to sidestep your cousin anymore and just live in peace, just the two of us," Ben added with a tired voice.

"Ben Solo!" Rey shouted, while she pinched his forearm.

"What was that for?" Ben asked, dumbfounded.

"Ken is not so bad, once you got to know him. He may be over-protective, but he only wants the best for me. I'm the only family he’s got left."

"Hm... if you say so. Did you tell him that you’re pregnant, or that I proposed to you, Rey?", Ben asked out of the blue.

Rey started coughing uncontrollably, getting up from Ben’s chest, hoping this would be enough to divert the subject.

Unfortunately, her attempt at diverting the subject went poorly, because Ben was able to see through her lame attempt.

Then Ben, who had a saint's patience when it came to Rey, pulled her up and went back to her and Ken's house.

Some time later, after Ken wasn't able to find neither his cousin nor her punk boyfriend, he returned home and started pacing in the living room.

He didn't pace very long because, not long after he got back home, the door opened up once again, Ben and Rey entering.

Then Ken noticed Ben pushing Rey very gently in front of him while Rey kept her head down in shame.

"Solo! What did you do to her?!" Ken asked, anger lacing his voice, making the assumption that Rey's distress was caused by Kylo Ren.

Before Ken had time to think about a proper punishment against Kylo, though, Rey's weak voice stopped him cold in his tracks.

"Ken, I'm pregnant, and Ben proposed to me a while ago,” Rey added without too much preamble.

Ken's face became suddenly very pale, his brain repeating over and over again the words pregnancy and proposed until he started mouthing the words. Then, he suddenly stopped and stared with saucer eyes at Ben before fainting.

"And this is how I finally managed to convince your Uncle Ken to allow me to get together with your father," Rey said to her children who were tucked safely in bed, nearly asleep.

Author notes:

So after seeing what now it's dubbed the "TROSity" I decided to fix things up and make some crack fic.

The inspiration source for this fic: Oh Brother My Brother (it's from another fandom with enemy to lovers ship)

Also for those of you who aren't aware who Ken is, here it's more info about him: Ken Palpatine

So in my story Rey's father and Ken's father were half siblings, thus making Rey and Ken cousins.

And Ken found Rey with the help of the Force.