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Talking in the Dark

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+ Xiao Zhan +

Xiao Zhan isn't entirely sure how he got here, alternating between kissing Tang Yixin and watching her kiss Zhang Ruoyun over his shoulder, all while sprawled stark naked on their bed, but he's hard as a rock and thinking is sort of the last thing on his mind.

It did start with Xiao Zhan and Zhang Ruoyun finishing up a meeting on the potential second season of Joy of Life. Zhang Ruoyun was practically bouncing in his chair when it began to look like maybe the show wasn't dead in the water. Xiao Zhan did his best to temper his own expectations, but the idea of revisiting Yan Bingyun was pretty damn exciting. Tang Yixin was in the waiting room afterwards, and at the time, Xiao Zhan thought that the twinkle in her eye was largely for her husband. It was nice, being visited by a friend, even if he wasn't her primary motivator. Besides, they were an adorable couple, and Xiao Zhan liked being around them--it felt, weirdly, like being around his parents. Safely ensconced in their love, surrounded by it like a warm hug.

It certainly feels quite a bit different now. He gasps as Tang Yixin reaches for his erection and runs her soft palm up and down it a few times, like a tease. Xiao Zhan would have fallen backwards, if not for Ruoyun's strong form holding him up. Xiao Zhan is aware of the hardness at his back, Ruoyun's strong thighs bracketing his hips, but mostly he's aware that he is, potentially, on a whole other plane of existence, because he has never had a threesome before, and it feels very much like an out-of-body experience one reads about in books.

God, they're both so beautiful and hard and wet and wanting him and what in the world--

"Come home with us," Yixin whispered against his ear after they left the restaurant. Her breath was hot and smelling vaguely of sake, and Xiao Zhan had not been planning on having a drink, but Ruoyun had poured him a glass of wine and it felt only polite to accept. He swayed on his feet at the feel of her heat against him and shot Ruoyun a slightly panicked look over Yixin's shoulder. All he received in return was a knowing smile and the sort of unsubtle smoldering gaze that hadn't been leveled at him in quite some time. "Come home with us," Ruoyun echoed, his hands on his wife's waist, and Xiao Zhan felt utterly helpless to refuse.

They undressed him together, in between sliding off their own clothes, right after falling through their front door. Things sort of blurred after that.

Now Xiao Zhan finds himself pinned between husband and wife, their gazes hot and sweet, as they take him apart bit by bit.

"So pretty, Zhan-er," she whispers as she runs her hands all up his torso. She lingers on his pecs while Ruoyun hums and kisses the join of Xiao Zhan's neck and shoulder. Xiao Zhan makes a fairly embarrassing noise--he's very, very sensitive in that particular area--and feels Ruoyun's erection jump against his lower back.

"Fuck." His eyes slide closed and he allows himself the indulgence of bucking up. Then his eyes blink open because Yixin has grabbed his hands and he watches, mesmerized, as she puts them on her own body and then just...Xiao Zhan licks his lips and barely blinks...slides them around her own waist, up her small frame, and finally settles them on her small breasts. His hands look huge on her. Her gaze never leaves his. She's so warm. "You can touch me, Zhan-Zhan. That's what we're here for."

He does. He leans forward, coaxed by her playful smile and dark, blown eyes, and slides his hands all over her small frame. Her skin is soft, pale and beautiful, and tiny wisps of hair are escaping the bun at the nape of her neck. On impulse, he grabs her hair-tie and pulls, as gently as he can, while kissing her neck. She gasps and shivers against him. The hair-tie slides free and her hair tumbles down her shoulders. She's unbearably lovely--something he thought more than once while filming Jade Dynasty--and she is watching him with warmth and pleasure and he is only human. He kisses her hard this time, lifting her up by the hips and pressing their torsos together. Her breasts are pinned between them and her tongue is hot and clever and. Hnghh. He's got just enough presence of mind to be careful not to let himself slide inside her, or touch his dick to any part of her she hasn't allowed him to, and then--

He breaks off their kiss with a gasp as a large hand envelops his dick and pumps it once, twice. "Oh--"

"You two are so pretty together," Ruoyun whispers in his ear before catching it between his teeth and forcing a shudder from Xiao Zhan. "Xin-Xin, what do you want?"

Xiao Zhan stills. He knows his grip on her hips is probably too biting but she's breathing hard against him--he can feel the rise and fall of it in the way her breasts brush his chest--and doesn't let go. He catches her gaze, silently echoing her husband's question. She licks her lips and runs a single finger over Xiao Zhan's cheek before tapping it against his mouth. He opens up automatically. Her finger slides inside and he catches it on his tongue and between his teeth. He's mindless with arousal. He wants so much, he doesn't know what he wants first.

It's a good thing he's pinned in between two very decisive people.

"Zhan-ge," she whispers. "Do you go down on girls?"

Xiao Zhan swallows and doesn't look away. "With a lot of enthusiasm," he tells her honestly.

She grins and looks at Ruoyun over Xiao Zhan's shoulder. "How about boys?"

Xiao Zhan makes another embarrassing noise. "Yes. God, yes."

"Then that's what I want." She leans down and catches his mouth in a wet, dirty kiss. "First," she whispers. "Then, if you're up for it, I very much want you to fuck me."

Behind them, Ruoyun makes a somewhat embarrassing noise himself. "Please. You're going to be the death of me."

Yixin giggles, reaches over, and tugs until Ruoyun is up on his knees behind Xiao Zhan. They share a deep, long kiss. Xiao Zhan watches them without blinking. Even almost out of focus, they are unbelievably beautiful together.

"What do you want, husband?" she asks before tangling one hand in Xiao Zhan's hair and tugging. Another embarrassingly helpless noise escapes him. Fuck, he's a mess between them.

"I very much would like Zhan-xiong to suck my dick," he says and, before Xiao Zhan can even blink, turns Xiao Zhan's chin towards him and kisses him. Xiao Zhan didn't think he could get any harder, but oh, how very wrong he was. Ruoyun's lips are soft, plush, and he's generous with his kisses. Xiao Zhan allows himself to nip and tug at his lip piercing, which earns him a gasp and a light bite to his own lips.

Yixin's smirk is, somehow, mind-meltingly hot when she turns it back on Xiao Zhan. Her hand is still gripping his hair and it feels good, grounding. It's helpful, he thinks in a haze of lust, that he's got two people pinning him in place. He might float off otherwise.

"How does that sound, Zhan-Zhan?" she asks, her mouth now a mere centimeter from his. “We want you to be happy. Is that a good plan?”

He surges forward just enough to catch her lips with his. He doesn't respond with words, because he doesn't think he can, but he lets her know with his tongue in her mouth that the plan is more than okay with him. When he breaks off, her eyes look as dazed as he feels. He's still gripping her hard around the hips. Fuck, he might leave bruises. "How do you like it?" he rasps.

She tilts her head as if assessing, then says, "I tend to like being on top." Quick quirk of an eyebrow. Out of the corner of his eye Xiao Zhan sees her husband nodding, like, yep. Can confirm. "Does that work for you?"

"Oh, yes it does."

Ordinarily, Xiao Zhan would be doing this with a pillow under his head, but the option he's given now is reclining against Ruoyun's torso. He grins and allows himself a bit of a shoulder wiggle as he settles deeper in between Ruoyun's thighs. His friend's erection is hard and obvious against his back, and that's grounding too. Grounding and exciting. He can't wait to get his mouth around Ruoyun's cock. His wife isn't the only one Xiao Zhan has idly fantasized about.

He slides further down and then there Yixin is, swinging one leg over his chest. She bites her lip and pauses. She looks shy all of a sudden, which is very much in contrast with the last half an hour. Xiao Zhan can’t have that—he’s the only one allowed to be shy about this situation, not having been the one to instigate it.

He licks his lips, mouth genuinely watering, and says, “Come here. Come up here to me.”

The smile he gets in return is brilliant. She shuffles up enough that he can easily grab her around her tiny, adorable butt, and then pull her in.

He presses his face against the very top of one of her inner thighs and inhales, nuzzling. She smells sharp like sex and feels soft like clouds. It’s been a while for him but he thinks he can remember how this goes. He pulls her down just enough to settle on top of his face and hears her gasp. Behind him, Ruoyun curses. Then Xiao Zhan stops paying attention to anything, because Yixin's pussy is in his mouth and he’s tasting heaven. She tastes as sharp as she smells, the salt of her arousal obvious. She is unbelievably wet and, once Xiao Zhan really gets going, doing his best to keep the rhythm steady, quite loud.

“Zhan-er, oh my God… Fuck, oh, fuck—“

He leans up as much as he can, and in an attempt to get deeper, pulls her down by the hips. She cries out and begins riding his face—he clearly got the angle right. He’s loving this, loves giving pleasure, especially when it’s so freely taken and expressed. It’s always a bit of a disappointment when you work this hard and it just doesn’t work for the other person, leaving everyone frustrated.

Not here, not now. He’s in some danger of coming too soon, he thinks, because he’s so fucking turned on by her taste and the feel of her wetness on his tongue and in his mouth and, let’s be honest, his entire face. She’s not shy anymore. Instead, she is taking what she needs from him and he’s giving her all he can. He finds the nub of her clit with his tongue again and again, taking unseemly pleasure in the increasing desperation of her cries.

His tongue and jaw begin to ache, but he doesn’t dare stop because her movements quicken, her voice hitches—she’s close. A part of him wishes he had started off with fingering her as well, but it may be a bit too late now. He doesn't want to distract her. He squeezes the soft globes of her ass and then leads her to orgasm with encouraging hands and relentless tongue.

She comes with a cry and a prolonged shudder, bucking against him erratically for several long moments. Her pussy trembles against his tongue and he does his best to keep at it until the last of her pleasure has been wrung from her body.

“Oh good god,” she pants. He has to help her dismount because she’s clearly shaky and wobbly. It isn’t a hardship, handling her lovely body, and his reward is a long, deep kiss that’s all Yixin. She’s all over his face and tongue and when her hand skims over his erection he nearly sobs. She retreats immediately and grins. “Not yet. Can’t have that.”

His laughter is shaky. A strong hand runs down his chest and he tilts his head back to look. Ruoyun is watching them both with a dark, heavy gaze. His full mouth is open and shiny. Once again, Xiao Zhan's eye is caught by the glint of his lip ring.

“That was—fucking hell, Zhan-Zhan, I might have to get a lesson or two from you.” Ruoyun doesn’t sound upset or displeased in the least. He sounds rather awed, actually.

Despite what just happened, Xiao Zhan finds himself blushing furiously.

“You’re more than fine in that department,” Yixin tells her husband and the look that passes between them weirdly makes Xiao Zhan’s chest constrict. As if sensing his thoughts, Yixin levels him with a thoughtful look and says, “You’re such a generous lover, sweetheart. How are you possibly single?”

He doesn’t know what his face does at the question but hers grows thoughtful and maybe even understanding—though he isn’t sure what the understanding is, exactly. He wishes he understood. Instead, he smiles and says, “No time. How do you maintain a relationship with my mad schedule?”

“Hmm, true enough,” she responds, and stretches. She’s sinuous and gorgeous and it truly feels like a privilege, being invited into this bed, with these two people. “Anyway, I believe there’s still some business to take care of.” This time her smile is more feral than understanding. “Right, husband?”

Before he can process anything, Xiao Zhan is being lifted up and deposited between the two of them again, sitting up with his back to Yixin this time. “Correct,” Ruoyun says before leaning in and catching Xiao Zhan’s mouth in a searing kiss that tastes of his wife.

He's a great kisser, and for a while, Xiao Zhan loses himself in it. It's so interesting, he muses through the haze, how differently men and women taste. It's also interesting, he considers as Ruoyun bears down and lowers him onto his back, how much Xiao Zhan loves both. At some point during the kiss, Yixin has moved away from behind him and when Ruoyun breaks off and begins peppering Xiao Zhan's face with unexpectedly tender kisses, Xiao Zhan glimpses her behind her husband, head tilted, small smile playing on her lips.

Then Ruoyun runs his teeth along the thick tendon of Xiao Zhan's neck and Xiao Zhan's eyes roll to the back of his head. He gasps and leans up for more, his hips seeking any sort of contact, with any body part available. The part he finds is the crook of Ruoyun's hip, which makes them both gasp. Ruoyun leans back enough to catch Xiao Zhan's gaze. He looks dazed, which nicely mirrors how Xiao Zhan is feeling. He follows the bob of Ruoyun's Adam's apple and, without thinking, leans up to lick a stripe along his neck.

Then he thrusts up again and Ruoyun shudders above him.

Then he grabs Xiao Zhan's wandering hands and pins them above Xiao Zhan's head. "Zhan-xiong."

"Yun-ge," Xiao Zhan whispers. He licks his lips. Ruoyun's eyes grow dark.

"Is this what you want?"

At some point, Yixin lay down next to them, head propped up on her hand. With a single finger, she turns Xiao Zhan's chin towards her and gives him a quick kiss. "You look desperate, sweetheart. Tell us what you want. Not what you think we want."

Can a person die of too much sweetness? How is this simultaneously the dirtiest and nicest thing to ever happen to him? Xiao Zhan blinks and looks between them for a long moment. "I--I don't know. I don't know what I want, I just--I want--" He doesn't know how to finish the thought, so he doesn't. Instead, he reaches up and catches Ruoyun's mouth in another deep kiss. It feels so good, being pinned to the bed by him. He's shorter than Xiao Zhan, and broader, fuller. His dick is nestled against Xiao Zhan's and oh, it's been a while since he's fucked a guy. Really, it's been a while since he's fucked anyone. What an embarrassment of riches tonight is turning out to be.

"I want to suck you off," he tells Ruoyun. "Then I'm gonna need someone to make me come or I'll go out of my mind."

That earns him a strained-sounding chuckle. Ruoyun releases his hands and sits back on his haunches. His dick is hard and obvious and it makes Xiao Zhan's eyes cross and mouth water. "Bring it in," he commands. His neck will be so sore in the morning, but he doesn't care. He loves giving head, always has.

While Ruoyun slowly makes his way up Xiao Zhan's chest, Yixin gently shoves a pillow--two pillows?--beneath his head, raising it enough that the angle will be easier. What lovely symmetry. Once Ruoyun stops where Xiao Zhan can easily touch him, Yixin reaches out and runs her hand up her husband's thigh. Xiao Zhan grabs onto his other thigh and pulls him in.

He doesn't try to go down too far, not at first. He tests the waters by sucking in the head of his cock, then running his tongue all up and down the shaft. Ruoyun's thigh under his hand begins to tremble, which feels incredibly gratifying already. He's clearly trying to keep still with all of his strength, and while Xiao Zhan appreciates that, he sort of...doesn't want him to.

He pops his mouth off of his dick and looks up through his eyelashes, allowing a smirk to form on his lips. "Do what feels good, okay? I like it a bit rough." He can feel his ears flaming as he says it, but it's the truth, so why hide it? Ruoyun squeezes his eyes shut, says, "Fuck," very vehemently, and then grabs onto the back of Xiao Zhan's head.

"Are you sure, Zhan-Zhan?"

Xiao Zhan makes a bit of a show about licking his lips. "I am extremely sure."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Yixin reach down and slip her hand between her legs. Her breath hitches as she begins to move. Xiao Zhan grins as Ruoyun tightens his hold on his head.

Okay, he thinks. Let's go.

He leans up and takes him in his mouth.

Sucking dick has always felt meditative to Xiao Zhan--maybe because it requires so much concentration, he can lose himself in it. He loses himself in it again this time. Ruoyun's cock is thick and Xiao Zhan has to open very wide to accommodate it. His jaw, already aching from eating out Yixin, protests a bit, but it feels good, actually. Used, in the best sort of way. Xiao Zhan hasn't actually done a marathon sex session in years--and certainly not with more than one person at a time--and his body is remembering all the things he used to enjoy about it. The aches, the stinging pleasure of being touched roughly in a way that speaks of the other person coming apart for him, the sweetness of delayed gratification. He feels damp all over, and restless. He's surrounded by the twin sounds of Ruoyun and Yixin enjoying the hell out of themselves.

Ruoyun's hand in his hair tightens, his voice hitches and breaks. Xiao Zhan can taste him getting close and moans around his dick. Ruoyun's thigh twitches beneath his touch.

"Zhan-Zhan--Zhan-xiong, I'm close--"

Xiao Zhan squeezes his thigh to let him know that he's aware, and hopes that he takes the hint.

"I can't--I have to--"

Xiao Zhan hums on the upstroke then goes back down, re-doubling his efforts. His tongue has basically gone numb. He is one long thrumming cord, ready to snap. Do it, do it, do it, he thinks.

Ruoyun does. With a bitten off cry, he floods Xiao Zhan's mouth while holding onto his head and thrusts so deeply inside him that Xiao Zhan nearly chokes. He swallows what he can and lets the rest escape from his lips. Once Ruoyun's pulled out and collapsed next to him with a prolonged groan, Xiao Zhan takes several shuddering breaths. He's both floating boneless and wound so tightly with need, he feels like he's going to crawl out of his skin.

He doesn't realize he's chanting please, please, please until someone--he genuinely can't tell who--runs their hand up his dick and squeezes. It takes all of his strength to bat them away and squeeze the base of it so he doesn't come from a single touch.

"Fucking hell." Yixin leans over Xiao Zhan and kisses him. He opens up for it and lets her taste her husband on his tongue. Then, he finally manages to move and rolls them over, still kissing.

She lets him, spreading her legs to accommodate him. Then another pair of hands urges his hips up and Xiao Zhan obeys without breaking the kiss. He breathes through Ruoyun rolling a condom onto his dick, then kissing his way down Xiao Zhan's back. The push and pull of husband and wife is becoming unbearable. He doesn't know which one to focus on, it's all too fucking much. His skin is singing with desperation.

He breaks off the kiss and looks down at Yixin. Her hair is a sweaty, matted mess, and her eyes are huge and dark. She's flushed and panting. He has an urge to slide down and put his mouth back on her pussy, but-- "Do you still want this?" he asks.

Her laugh sounds as wild as he feels. "So polite, Zhan-er." She wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in until their noses are touching. Her breath is hot against his mouth. "I want it. Now fuck me."

He grabs the back of her knee, moves it out of the way, and finally slides inside her. Oh, God, he's gonna come too soon. She's tight and wet and he has to pause and wait for the pleasure to recede just enough that he won't embarrass himself or disappoint her. A rough hand grabs the back of his head and when he turns, Ruoyun kisses him. It's a bruising, grounding kiss. It makes his dick jump inside Yixin.

"You are so beautiful," Ruoyun tell him as he breaks off. His hand gentles, running down Xiao Zhan's neck, then further down his back. It's such a strange, tender moment that Xiao Zhan actually whimpers. He's still inside Yixin and she's--oh, God, doing something absolute obscene with her-- he groans and props himself over her with one arm, grabbing her ass with his free hand.

Then he begins to move. He fucks her hard and fast, because there is no other option anymore, and he can feel the weight of Ruoyun's gaze on him as he does it. He relishes the attention. The noises Yixin makes underneath him are beautiful, but it gets even better once she pulls him in for a kiss.

He loses his mind a little bit after that. Nothing exists but the woman beneath him and the man next to him, surrounding him with encouragement and pleasure. When he finally comes with a hoarse cry, he trembles for so long, he thinks he might collapse entirely.

He doesn't. He drops his head down to her chest and pants against her skin. Her hands are gentle in his hair and even though he's still inside her, Yixin doesn't urge him to pull out. She still feels tense beneath him--she didn't come. He's got just enough presence of mind to feel bad about it, but not enough strength to do anything about it.

"Sweetheart," she breathes, urging him to look up at her. "You are a total treasure."

Xiao Zhan laughs and finally makes himself slide out. He collapses next to her. His heart is beating a wild rhythm inside his chest. He's breathing harder than a freight train. All he can do now is watch as Ruoyun gets in between his wife's thighs, throws them over his shoulders, and makes her come with his mouth in ten seconds flat.

Oh, Xiao Zhan thinks. That's a pretty sight.

Then he passes out.


"You should stay the night, Zhan-Zhan," Yixin tells him later, after he's woken up in a slight panic. Someone has already gotten rid of the condom and cleaned him up.

"I don't want to intrude," he says, looking over at Ruoyun behind him.

"Please stay," he confirms. He's nearly asleep himself, it looks like. Xiao Zhan has found himself in between the sweetest couple in the world. Literally--they're lying on either side of him, petting him gently. Even if he wanted to, he couldn't leave, and he doesn't want to. He can't really move, for one.

Yixin leans over to the bedside table and clicks the light off. Xiao Zhan's eyes have to adjust to the dark, but when they do, he finds that she's watching him sort of thoughtfully. Ruoyun's breathing evens out behind him--he's fallen asleep. He's also pinning Xiao Zhan to the bed with an arm over his middle, which feels nice. "What is it?" he asks finally, when Yixin simply continues to watch him in silence. He hopes she's not regretting this. That would be tragic.

"You should tell him," she says in a whisper.

He's still sex-dazed and stupid, so he has to ask, "What? Tell who what?"

"The person you like," she responds, scooting a little closer. "You should tell him you like him. You should go for it."

Xiao Zhan shrinks into himself, feeling his smile disappear. "I don't--"

"You do." She smiles, as if picking up the one he discarded, and it looks much too kind, and way too knowing. "You deserve to be happy."

Xiao Zhan sighs and closes his eyes. Images of Yibo come unbidden to his mind--Yibo as Lan Zhan, laughing in between takes; Yibo as himself, needling him in various hotel rooms; Yibo, dancing; Yibo...just Yibo. He opens his eyes again. It's easier to look at Yixin, even with her too-knowing smile. "I don't like...anyone…in particular..."


He fakes a yawn. "We should just...sleep. I'm tired."

She gives him a searching look, then leans in and pecks him on the nose. "Okay, Zhan-Zhan. Let's sleep." Then she turns over, snuggles in with her butt against his groin, and grabs his arm. They fall asleep like three spoons, each one smaller than the next.


Xiao Zhan's life after this continues in much the same way it had been going before--too busy a schedule, too many commitments, a lot of song, a lot of dance--but every now and then, he will stop in his tracks and remember that he had a threesome with Zhang Ruoyun and Tang Yixin. They've talked since, just a group thread on WeChat, both halves of the couple still as sweet and warm as ever, but because of their respective schedules, he hasn't seen them.

Which means that he's walking around with this secret that is just dying to get out, but he has no idea who he could possibly tell that he could trust to keep it safe.

Then he realizes that he does, actually. However, the most discreet person he knows is, for all intents and purposes, the worst person he could possibly tell.

No. No, he cannot tell Yibo about this, for so many reasons, he can't even begin to list them all.

He'll just have to take it to his grave.

They see each other at award shows, snatched meetings covered by cameras from every angle, and it might have been enough, before. Now, Xiao Zhan has Yixin's voice whispering in his ear, telling him to tell the boy he likes that he likes him. Now, Xiao Zhan can't stop picturing what it would be like to reach over and tug Yibo towards himself, reel him in, kiss his beautiful mouth, one full lip at a time.

And still, he has this other secret, dying to burst through his chest and expose itself.

At the Weibo awards, they happen to be sitting next to one another for a bit when a retrospective of Xiao Zhan's crazy year plays on the giant screen over the stage. He flushes all over when shots from Joy of Life and Jade Dynasty flash across the screen--himself with Zhang Ruoyun, himself with Tang Yixin. His heart beats too fast in his chest and then, with zero forethought, he's turning to Yibo, leaning in, and blurting out, "I had a threesome with them. With Zhang Ruoyun and Tang Yixin."

Fuck. Fuck.

Really, Xiao Zhan? At the Weibo awards, of all places? Where other people can see them? It was just that something about their close proximity, and the fact that Yibo looks so ridiculously sweet in those glasses, and seeing his friends flash across the screen, made the words bubble up his chest and escape through his stupid, stupid mouth.

"Uh--what?" Yibo turns his head and pins him with a look that's half confused, half full of something Xiao Zhan can't quite pinpoint.

Well, he's in it now. He leans in close enough to whisper directly into Yibo's ear. "I had a threesome. With Ruoyun and Yixin. About a month ago."

Yibo rears away from him and stares at him like--oh, no. Oh, God. Xiao Zhan is an idiot. He fucked up big time. The mixture of shock and--and--is that disgust? Fury?--on Yibo's face is like a bucket of cold water thrown in your face. "What the fuck?!" Yibo squeaks, then looks around. He lowers his voice. "What the hell? Why--why would you fucking tell me that?!" he hisses.

Xiao Zhan wishes he had a good answer for him. He doesn't. He's too busy regretting the last two minutes of his life, understanding now that this was entirely and completely the wrong thing to do in every single way, and he knew that, and he did it anyway. His stomach sours and he thinks he might throw up right there, all over his custom Gucci, in view of a hundred cameras. Which.

He looks around them in a panic, only now realizing that they are surrounded by people, none of whom probably have a hearing problem. Panic rising, he cranes his neck, attempting to look merely curious about his surroundings and not like he is close to throwing himself out of the nearest window. Luckily, nobody appears to be paying them much attention.

By the time Xiao Zhan turns back to Yibo, Yibo's spot is empty.

Xiao Zhan just stares as the space where, two seconds ago, Yibo had been watching him with that horrible look in his eye, and feels dread taking over every single part of his body.

There's no coming back from this.

It only gets worse from there, because next time he sees Yibo, Yibo is on stage alongside Zhang Yixing, smiling like nothing at all has happened to cause the ground to shift under Xiao Zhan's feet. Zhang Yixing, for his part, appears to be paying extra attention to Yibo--the sort of attention that makes Xiao Zhan's hair stand up on the back of his neck and his hands feel like they're turning into claws. Xiao Zhan watches, taste of vinegar flooding his mouth, as Zhang Yixing grabs Yibo's wrist and drags him across the stage, Yibo keeping up willingly, smiling, even. The look on Zhang Yixing's face is possibly the worst thing Xiao Zhan has ever seen. It's the look of a man going after what he wants. For a wild moment, despite having idolized him for years, despite knowing that he's actually a sweet, lovely guy, despite everything, Xiao Zhan experiences a horrible, visceral hatred.

He's forced to watch, helpless, as Yibo struts across the stage, being his seemingly usual combination of insouciance, detachment, and charm, paying attention to people who aren't Xiao Zhan. By the time Yibo leans in to say something to his old bandmade Li Wenhan and--Xiao Zhan swallows--pats his ass, Xiao Zhan is ready to lose his mind.

He remains entirely impassive, too aware of the cameras keeping track of his every move, and only texts Yibo once. Can we talk?

There's no response. Yibo has already left for the airport. Xiao Zhan sits on the bench, body itchy and restless inside its Gucci prison, and knows that he fucked up enormously. Colossally. And possibly irrevocably.


Yibo doesn't respond to any text Xiao Zhan sends. At first, they're requests for an adult conversation. Then, they turn to pleading for forgiveness. Then, on the off chance that Yibo could be shocked into responding, Xiao Zhan sends him stupid memes of them together on the set of The Untamed. Yibo, defying all odds, does not rise to the bait.

When he isn't busy begging Yibo to talk to him, Xiao Zhan is busy with work. Work, he can do. He can turn off most things for work--and he does. He works until he's exhausted and all he can do when he gets home (or his hotel room) is collapse onto the bed and fall asleep without dreaming.

But even work sneaks up on him in unexpected ways, when his manager lets him know that the second season of Joy of Life might be a go, and would he want to do it?

Would he? His character would have a much bigger part to play, which would ordinarily be a wonderful thing, but...he hasn't even been able to look at Ruoyun's name on WeChat, nevermind consider seeing him on set, with other people around. Or alone. He doesn't know which would be worse, all Xiao Zhan knows is that he has taken two lovely things in his life and ruined them both with one spectacular shot. He's got no one else to blame but himself.

He says yes to Joy of Life. He doesn't respond to Ruoyun's excited message.


One rare and unexpected night off, Xiao Zhan is lounging on his sofa with beer and ice cream, dodging Day Day Up whenever he's going between channels, when his buzzer goes. Most of the time, that's his manager, so he thinks nothing of pressing the button and saying, "Lifen?"

"It's me."

It's not Lifen. Xiao Zhan rears back from the intercom like it burned him. His heart is a wild thing inside his ribcage. Is he more drunk than he thought? He's only managed a meager half a bottle so far.

Another ring of the buzzer. Xiao Zhan presses the 'talk' button automatically. He opens his mouth, but all that comes out is, "Uh…"

"Let me in."

Right. Right, of course. He presses the 'door' button and then just stands there, staring at the intercom like it will give him answers. He isn't sure what he's feeling, only sure that whatever is about to happen to him will probably be deserved and he, being older and, presumably, more mature, will have to take it.

The thought makes him want to run for the hills screaming. He doesn't want to be mature. He wants things to go back to where they were before he dropped the threesome bomb on Yibo like the absolute idiot that he is.

Yibo pounds on his door like there's no more civilized way of asking for entry. It snaps Xiao Zhan out of his trance and he takes three mindless steps to the door. At the last minute, he considers just leaving Yibo out in the hallway like Shroedinger's cat. Yibo might be here to end their friendship, or he might not be. If Xiao Zhan doesn't let him in, he'll never know.

"Xiao Zhan!" Yibo hisses through the door. "What the hell, man, you wanna have this conversation like this?"

He's got a point. Xiao Zhan squeezes his eyes shut, reaches for the door, and opens it. Yibo is standing on his welcome mat. He's wearing an oversized hoodie with the hood pulled up, his mask pulled low over his chin, ripped jeans, and those G-Dragon sneakers on and he makes Xiao Zhan's head spin with how deeply he wants him. How badly he's missed him. How much this will hurt.

Heart in his throat, Xiao Zhan steps back and lets Yibo stride inside. He walks right past Xiao Zhan without looking at him. Xiao Zhan shuts the door carefully behind him. He doesn't want to turn around. He doesn't want to hear anything. He doesn't want to be here.

"Xiao Zhan." Yibo's voice is quiet, but the fury simmering beneath it makes Xiao Zhan flinch.

He draws himself up to full height and turns around. Belatedly, he hopes he doesn't have ice cream stains on his shirt. "Yibo."

Yibo's mouth is a pinched, straight line. In the dim light of Xiao Zhan's hallway, he looks feral, dangerous. The tension between them is nearly unbearable. Xiao Zhan knows that he has to be the one to say something. Xiao Zhan started it, Xiao Zhan has to finish it. But, by God, he wildly doesn't want to.

He takes a deep breath, makes a move towards Yibo, then stops himself. Steps back. He has absolutely no idea what to say.

"So, you fucked them."

Xiao Zhan shudders, drops his head. What a way to start this conversation. Well, he deserves it. "Yes."

"Was it good?" Yibo's voice is dripping venom, and Xiao Zhan has just enough time to think that maybe it's a bit of an excessive reaction, when Yibo says, "Why wasn't it me?"

His voice--hoarse and stubborn and devastatingly quiet--freezes Xiao Zhan in place. His brain zaps. What? "What?"

Helplessly, Xiao Zhan watches Yibo take a step towards him. His chin is set, his jaw is clenched. His eyes are impossible to read. He looks like a mule. Xiao Zhan wants him so badly, he has to clench his hands into fists to stop himself from reaching out.

His brain is having a hard time catching up with the question, understanding its meaning. Did Yibo want to be invited? Was he...was he jealous of either Ruoyun or Yixin? Xiao Zhan feels sluggish and dumb. " you mean, why wasn't it you?"

Yibo rolls his eyes, then takes another step forward. They're an arm's length apart, Xiao Zhan can feel the heat of him, and still, he can't quite understand.

"I mean, why did you fuck some other guy, when I'm right here?"



"You asshole, I didn't know you liked guys, okay?" Yibo closes the distance between them, which forces him to look up at Xiao Zhan, because as small as he's been feeling, Xiao Zhan still has five centimeters on him. "I've been here the whole time, why didn't you fucking say anything?" Yibo raises his hands and before Xiao Zhan can even react, shoves him. Xiao Zhan staggers backwards, then rights himself. His brain is made up entirely of white noise. "Did you just not want me?" Another shove. "Or you're not really actually into guys?" Another shove, harder this time. Xiao Zhan lets it happen by sheer virtue of being dumbstruck. "He just happened to be there when you fucked his wife?"

Then, with no warning, Xiao Zhan's brain comes back online, and the next time Yibo goes to shove him, he grabs his wrists and pins them to his own chest. "Shut up," he breathes out and then he leans down and has just enough time to notice Yibo's eyes widen before he kisses Yibo on his angelic, vitriol-spilling mouth.

Yibo makes a noise at the back of his throat and then he's surging against Xiao Zhan, propelling him one final time as Xiao Zhan's back hits the wall. Yibo opens his mouth and all but shoves his tongue against Xiao Zhan's, his wrists still pinned between them, his pulse fluttering against Xiao Zhan's fingers. As far as first kisses go, this one is the angriest Xiao Zhan has ever been a part of.

He gets hard almost immediately.

Damn Yibo. Damn his everything. Over the buzzing of his own body, Xiao Zhan can feel the first buds of relief and joy fluttering in his periphery, but Yibo won't let them bloom. He's tense and he's angry and he's taking it all out on Xiao Zhan's body and Xiao Zhan decides in that moment that he doesn't give a damn. He wants it, he welcomes it. He needs it. Let Yibo take his frustrations out on him, let him bruise them both with his kisses. Xiao Zhan will let him do anything, anything he needs.

He lets go of Yibo's wrists, grabs the back of his head, and tugs until Yibo's mouth is no longer connected to his. He isn't ready to see the look in Yibo's eyes, so he uses his hold on Yibo to expose his neck and all but bites the join of his neck and shoulder. Yibo cries out and jolts against him. Through their layers, Xiao Zhan feels Yibo's hard dick press up against his hip. It sends him reeling. He sucks on the tender skin, then drags his lips up the thick tendon, doing what he's been longing to do since God knows when. He licks and nips at Yibo's neck, finds the soft spot beneath his ear and leaves a kiss there, then nips at his ear lobe. With his lips, he can feel the empty piercings. Something tender floods his body. Yibo. This is Yibo shaking, gasping in his arms.

His mind clears just enough to let go and slide his hands down to Yibo's upper arms, pulling him away enough to finally catch his gaze. Yibo's eyes are unfocused, his mouth shiny and pink and beautiful. Xiao Zhan can't help reaching up and taking hold of Yibo's jaw with both hands and stroking just under his cheekbones. "Yibo."

Yibo doesn't respond, but in his expression, there's an uncertainty hiding beneath the desperation.

"I'm sorry," Xiao Zhan breathes out and leans in. He kisses Yibo's forehead, then presses his own to it. "I'm sorry I went about this like an idiot, I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm--"

"No." Yibo's voice is barely a whisper, but it's forceful enough that Xiao Zhan jerks back. Fuck. Did he miscalculate completely? Again? "Don't… I'm sorry, too, okay? I was an idiot. I just…"

Xiao Zhan breathes out and waits.

"I couldn't control it, I was--I've been in love with you for months, okay? I just thought you weren't into guys, weren't interested, and then--God, a threesome? Really?!"

Xiao Zhan's brain is reeling. In love? With him? Yibo?

Threesome. Right. This, he can respond to. He breathes out a laugh and throws back his head. It hits the wall. "Yeah, I couldn't even tell you how that happened."

Yibo doesn't look at him as he asks, "How was it, then?"

The question sounds different this time, and Xiao Zhan feels his mouth forming a smile and can't stop it. "It was nice."

Yibo nods, still looking anywhere but at him. His cheeks are flushed, the tip of his nose pink. He's just so...Yibo. "So, what, is it like...a thing, are the three of you…" He trails off and it takes Xiao Zhan a moment to catch onto what Yibo is failing to ask.

"No! I mean--Yibo, look at me." Yibo looks reluctant as he turns his gaze back to Xiao Zhan's. "We're friends. It was a one-time thing, it didn't mean anything. It was fun. Like, once-in-a-lifetime-is-enough kind of fun. Okay?"

Yibo bites his lip but nods, not looking away. "So, what is this, then?"

That's a much harder question to answer. Xiao Zhan can't do it alone. "That depends," he says carefully. He's still cradling Yibo's jaw in his hands, and finds that no matter what Yibo says, he doesn't want to let go. "What do you want it to be?"

"What do you want it to be?"

They're at a stalemate. But Yibo was the one who came over here, the one who let his feelings be known. It's Xiao Zhan's turn now. "I want you. I want to be with you."

Yibo nods minutely, looking like he's gathering data, not having a heart-to-heart conversation while half-hard and already covered in a few hickeys. Which. Shit. "You wanna be with me like...have sex with me, or--"

"Be with you, Yibo. Sex, yes." He swallows. Fuck, sex with Yibo. His flagging erection wakes up again. "But more than that. I'm...I'm in love with you, too, okay? So whatever way you want me. I'm yours."

Yibo tilts his head up and blinks several times in quick succession, looking somewhere beyond them both. He licks his lips, he bites down on them, but Xiao Zhan can see it--a smile forming on his mouth, small and precious. Xiao Zhan can't wait anymore. He leans in and kisses that smile, light and soft and lingering. Slowly, Yibo presses back, then opens his mouth minutely. Xiao Zhan feels Yibo's hands come up and grab onto his t-shirt at the waist, squeezing. They stay just like that, trading soft kisses, until Yibo touches his tongue to Xiao Zhan's, and Xiao Zhan responds, and then their kisses turn to something else. Flames of hunger begin to lick at his skin and he inhales, taking Yibo's breath with him. Yibo makes another tiny noise at the back of his throat and something snaps.

No more talking, then. They've talked enough.

Xiao Zhan slides his hands up through Yibo's hair and takes a step forward. Then another. Yibo doesn't let go of his waist and Xiao Zhan walks him backwards through the hallway, like they're playing a stupid children's game where they have to navigate movement while tied together.

They don't stop kissing. Xiao Zhan doesn't think he could, Yibo tastes too good. Now that his anger has melted away, he grows pliant, giving. Xiao Zhan always suspected that Yibo would be a good kisser, with his pouty mouth and fervor for the things he loves. He's giving, yes, but he takes just as much, demanding all of Xiao Zhan's attention. When Xiao Zhan makes a move to pull back so he can navigate them around the corner, Yibo protests with a noise and grabs the back of Xiao Zhan's head with one large hand, keeping him in place. Xiao Zhan stumbles as he laughs.

"Baby, we're gonna wipe out if I can't see where we're going," he mumbles against his lips, because Yibo won't let him go any further.

"Don't care," Yibo mumbles back, then uses his free hand to blindly reach down and ruck up Xiao Zhan's t-shirt. "Gonna fuck you right here."

Xiao Zhan's throat makes a sort of hnghh noise without his input, his entire body nearly bursting into flame. He wonders just how literally Yibo means it, then uses the only means he's got of slowing him down, because Xiao Zhan isn't planning on letting him off so easily. "Let me take you to bed. If we wipe out, we may be too injured to have sex."

Yibo pulls his hand away from where he had snaked it around Xiao Zhan's back and grabs Xiao Zhan's hand decisively. He marches them both towards the bedroom, past the couch where Xiao Zhan left his remote earlier, past his abandoned beer and empty ice cream bowl, past the buzzing television.

Xiao Zhan realizes he's grinning like a fool. Yibo is just always himself. It was one of the things he fell in love with in the first place.

In the bedroom, Yibo doesn't let him go further than where he can reach him, grabbing for his clothes. He tugs Xiao Zhan's t-shirt up and Xiao Zhan obeys his trajectory by slipping it over his head. Yibo is the one to shove down his sweatpants, taking his underwear with them, and there Xiao Zhan is, completely naked in front of a fully-dressed Yibo.

They've changed in front of each other before, but it's never been this much exposed skin. Xiao Zhan barely has time to feel self-consciousness tugging at the back of his skull when Yibo reaches for the hem of his own hoodie and pulls it over his head. As he does so, the black t-shirt underneath rides up and exposes his abs. Sure, Xiao Zhan's seen them before, in pictures and on TV, but never like this, and never in this context. His mouth goes dry. He needs to get his hands on Yibo right the fuck now or he might die.

He crowds up against him, glad now of having zero layers on, and goes for the button on Yibo's jeans with no preamble. Yibo sucks in a breath, then his t-shirt hits the floor alongside his hoodie. Xiao Zhan catches his gaze and doesn't stop undoing the top button. Yibo's hair is mussed and his gaze is unfocused and he is beautiful. Xiao Zhan leans down and kisses his lips, because they haven't kissed nearly enough. He's got over a year's worth of kisses stored up in his system. They're only just getting started.

Then Yibo takes over unzipping his jeans and shoves them, along with his boxer briefs, down until he can step out of them. He meets Xiao Zhan's gaze with something of a challenge in the set of his chin.

He's hard and he's big and he's so hot, Xiao Zhan's brain whirrs inside his skull. Holy shit.

He grabs Yibo by the waist, bringing their torsos together, and walks them the three steps it takes to fall on the bed. Yibo breathes out a laugh on the way down.

It's aimless at first. They kiss, open-mouthed and needy, rolling around on top of the covers, until no air separates them. Yibo's got his thighs wrapped around Xiao Zhan's hips, which is exactly where Xiao Zhan wants him, and Xiao Zhan can't stop touching him absolutely everywhere. His hands roam over all that skin, pale and soft, and keep coming back to Yibo's pert ass. He's hard as hell, desperate for it, but he doesn't want to come too soon, he's got so many things he wants to do. He's got a whole fucking list. Coming too soon would sour all of his newly hatched plans.

Yibo, on his back beneath him, whines in Xiao Zhan's ear, then pulls back and rolls his hips. Their dicks slide against each other and Xiao Zhan shudders. His hands clench around Yibo's ass. "Do that again," he whispers, and doesn't even blink as Yibo's lips slant in a smirk and, slowly, painfully slowly, he undulates until their dicks rub against each other one more time. His abs are tense, shadowy, and Xiao Zhan reaches out without thinking and runs his nails from Yibo's chest all the way down past his navel. Yibo arches up and hisses.

"Fuck, you're hot," Xiao Zhan whispers. It isn't news to either one of them, but having Yibo beneath him, naked and wanton and doing as he asks, is a whole new level of blisteringly sexy. Yibo smirks, then leans up and pulls Xiao Zhan down into another open-mouthed, desperate kiss.

When he pulls back, they're breathing the same air. "Tell me," Yibo whispers. "What did you do with them?"

Xiao Zhan, eyes crossing, says, "Huh?"

Yibo leans in to kiss his cheek, then runs his mouth over it until he can whisper directly into his ear, "Your threesome couple. What did you do with them."

Xiao Zhan frowns and attempts to pull back and catch Yibo's gaze, but Yibo's gripping the back of his head and won't let him move. "Yibo…"

"Because I want you to do it to me. Whatever it was."

It's as if Yibo wants to overlay the pattern of the previous act with his own imprint, staking a claim over a territory that has no need of claiming. As if Yibo won't be creating his own indelible pattern on the fabric of Xiao Zhan's love life. As if there's anything left to claim that isn't already his. "No," Xiao Zhan says.

Yibo pulls back then, hand dropping. He frowns and says to Xiao Zhan's collarbone, "Why not? What, am I not--"

Xiao Zhan hooks a finger under his chin and tugs it up until Yibo's forced to look him in the eye. "It doesn't matter what we did,” he says. “I want you, and we're gonna do whatever we want to do, and trust me--" His voice goes a little hoarse, but he has to finish the thought. "--I want a lot from you."

Yibo rolls his eyes in a way that attempts to hide what's really going through his mind, then shrugs. "Fine. You better get on with it, though."

"Yeah?" Xiao Zhan's lips curve into a sideways grin. "Or else what?"

Yibo clearly has no parry, so he uses his body to distract Xiao Zhan. Which is not a difficult feat to accomplish. Yibo is fucking gorgeous under any circumstances, but in this particular situation, he's nearly overwhelming. He stretches sinuously beneath Xiao Zhan, forcing all thought out of his mind apart from where to start because he wants absolutely everything and he wants it right this second.

He begins by lowering himself over Yibo and kissing him. He kisses him slowly, first shallow like a tease, then growing deeper, harder. Yibo clutches his shoulders and rolls his hips, forcing shiver after shiver from Xiao Zhan. Then Xiao Zhan breaks off the kiss and begins to slide lower still. He gives Yibo's neck the attention it deserves, though does his best to avoid adding to the hickeys already blooming on his pale skin. He can't quite bring himself to feel bad about them, though. Not with how Yibo shudders under his lips, throwing back his head and exposing more of his throat for the taking. Xiao Zhan leaves a trail of kisses from his Adam's apple all the way down past his collarbone, then nips his way across Yibo's pecs. Yibo is gasping, and when Xiao Zhan glances up, he sees that one of Yibo's hands is clutching his own hair. His mouth is open, his eyes are closed tight, and the picture he makes is almost too intimate too bear. This is Yibo at his most exposed.

Xiao Zhan slides further down until he can easily lick Yibo's nipples into pebbling, then nip at them until Yibo whines and thrashes under him. Their knees knock together and even the momentary jolt of pain can't touch how hard Xiao Zhan is just from this. He licks his way into every groove of Yibo's abs, kissing his way across the outlines of his ribs. Yibo's trembling, clearly trying to stay quiet but not quite succeeding. Xiao Zhan doesn't know how to tell him to let loose, to let Xiao Zhan hear him.

Maybe he isn't giving him enough incentive. Xiao Zhan nips at the cut of Yibo's hips, first one, then the other. Yibo's dick slides against his cheek, down his chin. Yibo whines and then Xiao Zhan feels one of Yibo's hands tunnel through his hair and tug. Xiao Zhan grins. Subtle, Yibo is not.

"Want something in particular?" he asks, catching Yibo's gaze.

Yibo's mouth slants up in a halfway smirk again, and then he licks his lips. "My dick in your mouth."

Despite everything Xiao Zhan has been doing to Yibo, he can still blush, apparently. But Yibo has always been blunt. It would be a disappointment if he were to change now. "All you had to do was ask," Xiao Zhan tells him.

Yibo's...big. Xiao Zhan wraps a loose fist around his cock and sucks in the head, allowing his mouth to adjust. Yibo tastes sharp, already leaking. He gasps and his hold on Xiao Zhan's hair tightens. "Yeah. Fuck yeah." He thrusts up, forcing more of his dick into Xiao Zhan's mouth. Xiao Zhan finds he doesn't mind. His own dick jumps, seeking more attention than it's currently getting.

He shuts his eyes, leans into Yibo's touch, and starts sucking him off in earnest. It's impossible not to think about the last time Xiao Zhan did this, nearly impossible not to compare, but--there is no comparison. This is Yibo, for fuck's sake. Yibo writhing against him, Yibo's dick in his mouth. He's velvety smooth and ridiculously hard and there's almost too much of him, but Xiao Zhan is not about to back down from this particular challenge. He loosens his jaw as much as he can, takes in deep breaths, and sucks him slow and thorough, building a steady rhythm. Yibo cries out, high and needy, and it's clear that the only thing stopping him from shoving himself all the way down Xiao Zhan's throat is his formidable control. Without thinking about it, Xiao Zhan reaches out his free hand and runs it down Yibo's stomach, fingernails scraping against the hot, damp skin. Yibo trembles under his touch. God, it is such a fucking turn-on.

Xiao Zhan wants him desperately even as he has him, wants absolutely everything from him, he wants to wreck him.

He pulls off--Yibo whines--and gives the head of Yibo's dick a quick kiss before sitting back on his haunches.


Xiao Zhan doesn't respond. Instead, he grabs the backs of Yibo's knees, bends his legs, and then flips Yibo over onto his stomach. Yibo yelps. Xiao Zhan sniggers, then covers his body and whispers in his ear, "Trust me please."

Yibo shoots him a questioning glance, but also nods, as if trusting Xiao Zhan is the obvious response. Even from this angle, it's clear that he's unfocused and painfully turned on. Xiao Zhan swallows--his throat's gone dry--and quickly squeezes his own dick at the base, waiting for several seconds before he's more or less back in control of his own body. Yibo, once again, doesn't make it easy when he arches his lower back and his ass bumps up against Xiao Zhan's hips. Xiao Zhan gasps and grabs him by the hip, stilling him. "Not yet," he grinds out.

Yibo sort of...spasms underneath him. God, could they do it? Xiao Zhan hasn't thought further ahead than the next act, but the possibility of Yibo wanting to be fucked, wanting Xiao Zhan to fuck him, is potent; almost dangerous. He wants it too much. It's never good to want anything this much.

"Zhan-ge... Zhan-ge, come on, what are you doing..."

Xiao Zhan does his best to clear his head. "Sorry, I just...hold on."

He lets Yibo's hips go, and begins to trail kisses down his knobby spine, a kiss for each bump until he reaches his tailbone. He grabs Yibo's hips once more and positions him where he wants him--shoulders down, ass up, legs spread. Talk about potent. Xiao Zhan is liable to blow at any moment. Yibo's gasping, but is uncharacteristically wordless, and the tension between them is a palpable, throbbing thing.

Xiao Zhan lowers himself until he can lick the spot just above Yibo's ass. Yibo shudders, a tiny noise escaping him. Xiao Zhan does it again. Same reaction. Then, because only he will know, he licks Yibo's own name over his lower back until Yibo is trembling and gasping. "Zhan-er, what--"

"Sensitive?" he whispers.

He feels more than sees Yibo nodding quickly. His voice is muffled when he responds with, "Really fucking sensitive."

God, that's fucking hot. Xiao Zhan licks another slow stripe over the skin there, but doesn't stop this time. He goes down until his tongue fits in between Yibo's cheeks. With his thumbs, Xiao Zhan opens him up enough to find Yibo's hole with his tongue. Yibo's gasp is one of surprise, he thinks, but Yibo doesn't pull away. He's tense, so tense, but he's letting Xiao Zhan do this, trusting him with it.

Xiao Zhan licks the sensitive skin, inhaling Yibo's scent, for a while. He does it until Yibo is no longer just gasping, but crying out and vibrating against him. He eats him out, pleasure pooling in his own belly, because talk about fucking intimate. He licks Yibo out until Yibo is a quivering mess against him, his voice muffled against the sheets, his taste and scent overwhelming Xiao Zhan's every sense. Xiao Zhan doesn't stop as he reaches around and gives Yibo's dick a few firm strokes. It only takes the few. Yibo tenses against him, cries out, and comes so hard, he almost bucks Xiao Zhan off of him.

Xiao Zhan strokes him through it, only slightly disappointed he didn't get to see Yibo's face when he came. But Yibo's young. He's not done for the night. Xiao Zhan will make sure of that.

Yibo collapses onto his belly. "Zhan-ge, fucking hell..." His voice is a rasp in the dark, and Xiao Zhan follows it like he's caught on a fishing line. He covers Yibo with his own body, his heart thudding against his overheated back. When he leans in and kisses Yibo on the cheek, he finds it aflame. "How was that?"

Yibo rumbles with a quiet laugh. "Shut the fuck up, you know how it was." Xiao Zhan hides his grin against Yibo's smooth shoulder, then covers it up with a kiss. He can smell Yibo all over himself, all over them both. It's intoxicating. He inhales and feels his dick jump against Yibo's ass. Yibo hums and pushes back against him. It's Xiao Zhan's turn to gasp as he tenses, trying to stay still and see what Yibo will do.

"Zhan-ge," Yibo whispers. "Was that all you wanted, or was there more to it?"

Xiao Zhan swallows, kisses his shoulder again. He's got what he thinks is a better question. "What do you want?"

The next moment, Yibo twists around and pushes him hard enough that Xiao Zhan lands awkwardly on his back, staring up at the ceiling. "Uh--"

Yibo doesn't give him any time to adjust. He just kisses him, open-mouthed, hot. His hands are all over Xiao Zhan, running from his jaw to his neck to his chest and up again. When he breaks off the kiss, Xiao Zhan's pretty sure his eyes are crossing. "Everything, you idiot. I want everything."

Xiao Zhan can't get enough breath into his lungs to respond so he lies there, dumbstruck, as Yibo begins making his way down his body. His mouth is hot and greedy on his skin, his hands warm and almost too rough and somehow perfect. He's graceful even like this, an economy and sensuality of movement that almost feels like a duality that can't possibly coexist, but does in Yibo. And everywhere he touches Xiao Zhan feels like he awakens dormant nerve endings. It's XIao Zhan's turn to tremble, gasping up at the ceiling, losing brain cells by the second.

When Yibo takes him in his mouth, Xiao Zhan's vision whites out for a second. It's not like he hadn't noticed Yibo's trajectory, but his mouth is hot and wet and he doesn't tease. He holds the base of Xiao Zhan's cock in one hand, the other pinning his hips in place, and sucks him off with a singular sort of intensity. It takes every ounce of Xiao Zhan's self-control to keep his eyes open, because how can he miss this? Every time Yibo pulls up, his eyelashes flutter and he catches XIao Zhan's gaze. Even with his mouth full, he looks like he's halfway to a smirk, which just. Turns Xiao Zhan on even more. His thoughts scatter to the wind after a while, and he can't keep his eyes open, it's too fucking intense, it's too fucking much.

This can't be it, he's not ready.

"Yibo, wait..." He forces himself to sit up and catch Yibo with a gentle hand on his jaw. He pops him off his dick and watches, mesmerized, as Yibo meets his gaze with his own blown one. His mouth is reddened and wet.

They stare at each other, Xiao Zhan breathing like a freight train, and it's quiet, so quiet around them. Even the ubiquitous noise of traffic has stopped for them. Maybe it's his own heart beating like a drum in his ears drowning out everything else.

"Don't come yet," Yibo rasps. He doesn't seem to want to escape Xiao Zhan's hold on his jaw. "Fuck me first."

Xiao Zhan, still gasping from earlier, drops his hand and falls backwards, covering his face with one arm. "Fucking hell."

"Do you do that? Do you want to?"

"Do I--" He rears up and, even with his legs feeling like jelly, he's able to sit up and grab Yibo by the hair on the back of his skull, bring him in until they're touching foreheads. "God, are you sure? It's…"

"Wouldn't have asked if I wasn't." Yibo's strained voice may be Xiao Zhan's undoing. He can barely think straight, but he tries to, anyway.

Does he have any lube? Any lube that's still up for the job? Condoms? Has Yibo done this before?

"Okay," he pants. "Okay. If. If you're sure."

A sudden touch to his dick--a grip around the base, nearly too tight. "Don't blow yet, Zhan-ge." There's a hint of a tease in his voice, but it's almost drowned out by a desperation that Xiao Zhan very much shares. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He pulls back, hands still buried in Yibo's hair, and closes his eyes. He breathes in and out a few times. He thinks about anything that isn't the boy in front of him, whose scent and taste is clinging to his throat and skin and every fucking nerve ending.

"Fuck, you're hot."

Xiao Zhan makes a strangled noise in his throat. "You're not helping," he grinds out.

"Sorry." He doesn't sound sorry. "You are, though."

"Shut the fuck up." Xiao Zhan does them both a favor and kisses Yibo silent, feeling his smile drop off his lips as he deepens the kiss. Yibo's tongue is velvet against his own, pliant and lovely and. And Xiao Zhan is so hard, he thinks he might die from it.

He maneuvers Yibo onto his back, gets in between his legs, and only then breaks off the kiss. "How do you want it?"

"I--I like being on top."

Xiao Zhan feels a spasm wrack his body. What symmetry, indeed. He squeezes his eyes shut, drags himself back to the present. Memories of the last time he did this feel faint and sepia-toned compared to the brightness of the present. He recalls Yixin saying, you should tell him you like him. The boy you like. How did she even fucking know?

Well, they're here now.

It turns out, Yibo brought lube. He also brought condoms. Xiao Zhan can't even get the question out through the shock, but Yibo answers, anyway. "Always plan for any eventuality."

"You don’t plan," Xiao Zhan manages.

"I plan a lot!" He sounds insulted, which loses some severity because he's currently bent over the back of the bed, rooting around for his clothes. It's...quite the view, and Xiao Zhan can't really resist it. He sits up and runs a finger up the back of one of Yibo's legs. It's gentle, but Yibo yelps and almost loses his grip on the bed. "Oh my God, what the fuck!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Xiao Zhan tries to suppress his laugh, but it's a lost cause. Yibo finally lifts himself up with a grunt and glares at him, which only makes him laugh harder. "I am! I am sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." He coaxes Yibo towards himself with a hand to his lower back and a kiss to his lips. "You were just...really hot like that."

That seems to mollify Yibo, who presses up against him and then slaps the hand containing lube and condoms to Xiao Zhan's chest. "Fine, okay. Get busy."

Xiao Zhan thinks he might love bossy Yibo most of all. He takes the stuff, then maneuvers them both to the top of the bed again. "How, uh…" He waves the travel-sized bottle of lube in between them. "How do you--"

Yibo nuzzles his ear and says, radiating heat, "Do it for me?"

Xiao Zhan endures another slight white-out moment, then says, "O-okay. Okay, come here."

He has Yibo straddle his chest, and gets slightly distracted by Yibo's hard cock in such close proximity to his face again. Ah, the blessings of youth. He swallows and uncaps the bottle one-handed. Yibo looks unfocused. His hair is hanging in his face, and there's a sheen of sweat in the hollow at the base of his neck. He looks astonishingly beautiful, even more so when he leans down, spreads his legs, puts one heavy hand over Xiao Zhan's chest, and says, "Focus, Xiao Laoshi."

Xiao Zhan makes another vaguely embarrassing noise, then gets down to business. He probably uses too much lube, but better more than less. Yibo helpfully arches his back, which has the benefit of spreading his ass for easier access, and, again--near white-out moment. Xiao Zhan needs to get himself in hand or he'll blow before he can satisfy anyone.

He opens him up slowly, carefully. Yibo gasps through it, and Xiao Zhan can just see the arm he's holding himself up with trembling. Neither one of them speaks, but it's enough to feel Yibo give way for him, enough to feel his panting breath on Xiao Zhan's lips when he leans down further, gives himself up just a little bit more. Xiao Zhan gives in to the urge to run his own shaky fingers over Yibo's cheek, down his jaw line, over his neck. To reassure him with touch that he's got him, that he knows.

"I'm--I'm ready, Zhan-ge," Yibo says after a small eternity. "Fuck me, please." He sounds on the edge of frantic, which is how Xiao Zhan feels, and maybe they'll end up mind-melded before the night is over, because Xiao Zhan, three fingers still sunk inside Yibo, thinks he can feel his heart pulsing in sync with his own.

He doesn't let Yibo put the condom on him, because he's fairly sure that would be the end of it, then makes him wait in order to pull himself back from the brink. By the time he thinks he's done it, Yibo is whining, hips poised over Xiao Zhan's dick.

God, what he wouldn't give for a picture of this one perfect moment.

"You're gonna fuck me now, okay?" Yibo says, eyes fluttering in the dark, and takes a surprisingly gentle hold of Xiao Zhan's dick. Xiao Zhan takes in a deep breath, and it escapes in a gasp when Yibo slides onto him in one smooth motion.

Xiao Zhan thought that, maybe, he'd be able to lie back and watch, but quickly learns that he has to be as close to Yibo as possible for this, has to touch him everywhere. Yibo feels so fucking good.

Holding onto Yibo's hips with one hand, he scrambles up with little grace and Yibo immediately pulls him in with urgent hands. "God, yes, come here, come here--"

He slings his arms over Xiao Zhan's shoulders and kisses him. They're both too turned on, too keyed up for coordination, but even the messy kiss feels amazing. When Yibo pulls back, their unfocused gazes meet and Xiao Zhan's belly flops over. God. Yibo.

It gets frantic very, very quickly. Yibo uses his position to set the pace, which feels like a punch to the gut. A very hot, incredibly good punch. Xiao Zhan cries out. He means to slow him down, just a little, but can't bring himself to, because Yibo, riding his dick fast and hard, is not a Yibo to be contained. Then, apparently confident that Xiao Zhan will hold him up, Yibo leans back for a better angle and Xiao Zhan thinks he might die. Fucking hell. His grips Yibo's torso and only nominally guides him up and down--Yibo's doing most of the work.

It's the hottest, most incredible thing to ever happen to him. He keeps his eyes wide open as he watches. He can feel the strength in Yibo's back, can see the tension in his abs as he moves. His torso is cast in shadows from the limited glow of the streetlights, and despite the frenetic pace, he moves fluidly, like he's dancing.

With Yibo's neck exposed, Xiao Zhan can't stop himself from grabbing the back of his head and bringing his mouth to all that skin. He doesn't stop fucking him--he can't. Yibo is whining continuously, and Xiao Zhan senses the sound reverberating against his lips. He feels electric, powerful, and close to out of control.

And then Yibo's cries climb higher, and he leans forward and fumbles for his own dick. Without thinking, Xiao Zhan bats his hand away and wraps his fingers around him. Yibo gasps and trembles, his teeth looking sharp where they've dug into his lip. He's nearly sobbing. Xiao Zhan can't stop staring even as he's bringing him off.

It doesn't take long for Yibo to tense, curl over, bumping his forehead against Xiao Zhan's, and come all over Xiao Zhan's hand and his own stomach. Xiao Zhan doesn't make any sort of conscious decision as he grabs Yibo by the waist, bucks up, and flips them over. He slips out, of course, but is able to slide home again with the help of Yibo's hand guiding him in.

He fucks Yibo in short, quick thrusts, their gasping mouths a breath apart. He is watching Yibo and Yibo is watching him back, and every movement shifts them closer and closer to the headboard. He can't keep his eyes open for long. When he finally comes, Xiao Zhan's got Yibo's tongue in his mouth, Yibo's legs wrapped tightly around his hips, and Yibo's arms clinging to his back. He falls for one long, endless moment. Yibo doesn't let him end the kiss.

When he does, all Xiao Zhan is capable of doing is slipping out of Yibo and collapsing on top of him. Yibo makes a soft grunting noise, but doesn't otherwise protest. His arms immediately wrap around Xiao Zhan's shoulders. They're both sweaty and covered in Yibo's come, and it's the most perfect moment Xiao Zhan can remember in a very long time.


They shower, afterwards, Yibo soaping him up with a serious expression on his face, then letting Xiao Zhan crowd him up against the shower wall and kiss him breathless.

Xiao Zhan orders them delivery of a boatload of dumplings, because fuck it, they've exerted enough energy to deserve them. They eat on his couch, shoulders touching, wearing only their underwear, and watch something mindless on TV. He opens fresh beers for them both.

They go to sleep. They wake up in the middle of the night--Xiao Zhan doesn't know which of them wakes up first--and reach for one another immediately. They kiss until they're both hard, then grind up against each other until they both come, slick and gasping, and then they kiss some more, and then they fall back asleep wrapped around one another on top of Xiao Zhan's messy sheets.

Xiao Zhan wakes up to Yibo noodling around on his phone. He's propped up against the headboard, a pillow shoved behind his back. The light is still grey, but it may as well be blazing sunlight with how Yibo appears to glow. Probably, Xiao Zhan has gone mad and slightly sex-crazed, but... Yibo has always had that glow to him. Now it's just much closer to Xiao Zhan than he could have ever hoped for.

"Morning," he croaks.

Yibo turns towards him, and the smile that unfolds on his face almost takes Xiao Zhan's breath away. "Hey. You're awake."

"Mm. How come you are?"

Yibo throws his phone to the floor with very little care for someone who's usually surgically attached to it, and slides down until they're facing one another. "Dunno. Woke up."

Xiao Zhan reaches out first, and Yibo meets him halfway. They both taste like sleep and sex and it would be nicer if they had brushed their teeth, but still--he's kissing Yibo good morning after a night of incredible sex. Xiao Zhan isn't going to quibble over details.

Yibo pulls away first, and there's a slight crease between his brows. Xiao Zhan swallows. "So...did you mean it?"

Xiao Zhan blinks. "Mean what? When?"

Yibo lowers his gaze and plays with the edge of the pillowcase. "Last night, when you said… When you said that you wanted more than just sex. With me."

Xiao Zhan feels a sense of relief without having even noticed getting tense. "Yes. Yes, of course I meant it." Yibo continues playing with the loose thread of the pillow case, but the crease between his eyebrows disappears. "Hey." Xiao Zhan reaches out and slides his hand over the back of Yibo's neck, up to the short hair at the nape. "Is that what you want, too?"

Yibo finally meets his gaze, looking startled. "Uh, yeah. Obviously I do."

It hasn't been obvious to Xiao Zhan, at least not until last night, and it's a relief to hear. He smiles, then tugs at Yibo's hair. Yibo gasps and tilts his head back, eyes sliding closed, mouth dropping open just a bit. His wide, pale neck is absolutely covered in hickeys. Even in the light of day, Xiao Zhan can't make himself feel bad about a single one of them. "Okay. Then we're good," Xiao Zhan rasps and inches closer until he can add to the colorful array. Yibo, yielding and open and breathless, lets him.

+ Wang Yibo +

Yibo really hadn't been sure about this, but Xiao Zhan seemed so excited, it was hard to say no. So, he came with him to the party being thrown by Zhang Ruoyun and Tang Yixin.

When Yibo first greeted them, handing over the host gift of a really expensive bottle of sake, he spent quite a bit of time not imagining what they looked like while fucking his boyfriend all those months ago. He only vaguely succeeded.

Now, he's standing with his glass of wine in the corner, watching Xiao Zhan chatting with people Yibo doesn't know and looking so radiantly happy, Yibo has to really work at not grinning like a fool himself. Xiao Zhan has such a gift for easing people's awkwardness, Yibo had hoped it would maybe eventually rub off on him. That has yet to happen.

"So, Wang Yibo, are you enjoying yourself?"

Yibo startles and looks down at where Tang Yixin has sidled up and is now twinkling up at him in a pretty disconcerting manner. "Uh...yeah, I am. Thank you." He isn't really, but he's fine with that.

She wrinkles her nose and laughs, pointing at Xiao Zhan. "Why aren't you over there?"

Yibo does his best not to roll his eyes. "I'd be in the way. I'm not all…" He waves his hand around. "He's better at this than I am."

She hums, takes a sip of her own drink. "That's all right. I can't always keep up being nice and smiling, either."

Yibo doesn't know what to say to that, so he says nothing. He takes another sip, and then Tang Yixin says, "So, how great is he in bed, huh? What a mouth," and Yibo spits out his wine.

He knows his eyes are comically huge when he meets her gaze while wiping his mouth with his sleeve. She laughs and nudges his shoulder with her own. "Oh, come on, what's a little fun between friends?"

He's not sure if she means this conversation or the threeway she had with Xiao Zhan and her husband. "Uh, fun?"

"You are so red right now," she giggles, and it occurs to Yibo she might be a little bit in her cups. Something about how she talks makes what she says seem playful and disarming instead of entirely inappropriate and horrifying.

Yibo finds himself relaxing and takes another fortifying sip of his wine. "He is," he tells her. Okay, so he sounds a little smug. Who could blame him? "You're right about his mouth."

She laughs more and nudges him hard with her elbow. "I knew you'd agree. Now, you know that if you hurt him, we will have to kill you, right?"

Yibo laughs, then looks down at her, laughter dying on his lips. "Oh, you're...actually serious." She does look serious, watching him with a challenge. Perversely, Yibo feels the need to straighten his spine and square his shoulders. "All right. I won't hurt him." He wasn't exactly planning to, anyway.

"Good. Because he's a good one, Yibo. You're one lucky boy."

She isn't telling him anything he doesn't already know, but still, it actually feels nice to hear someone think as highly of Xiao Zhan as Yibo does. Maybe he can grow closer with these people. Maybe they aren't so bad, after all. "I know," he says with a shrug, then downs the rest of his wine.

"What are you guys talking about?" Xiao Zhan manages to appear out of absolutely nowhere and sidle up close enough to Yibo to lay a hand on his lower back.

Not everyone at this party is safe, so officially, they're here as just friends. The warm touch reminds Yibo of all the reasons he doesn't care if they have to hide from the whole world. He shivers.

He does not, however, answer the question, lobbing it to Tang Yixin, instead. Let her explain. She does. "I was giving your boy the shovel talk," she says brightly. "Also, now that you're here--if you hurt him, it's the same deal." Yibo's eyes bug out of his head. She watches him appraisingly, ignoring his mad stare. "He's a good one. Keep him."

Xiao Zhan laughs and Yibo catches his gaze. He feels himself relaxing, muscle by rigid muscle. "I'm planning to," Xiao Zhan says to Yibo, then turns to Yixin. "No need for murder."

"Good. I hate violence, anyway." She throws back the rest of her drink, raises her empty glass to them, and veers off in the direction of her husband. Yibo has to admit--she really is super cute. Who could blame Xiao Zhan? Plus, her husband's hot. Yibo gets it.

None of it matters anymore, anyway. He leans in and whispers in Xiao Zhan's ear, "She said you're great in bed. Something about your amazing mouth. Feel like demonstrating?"

He can feel Xiao Zhan's flush against his lips as he sputters. "She said what?!"

"You heard me." Yibo smirks. "So. You've been here before. Help me find the bathroom?"

Xiao Zhan takes one long moment of consideration before he puts his hand over Yibo's lower back and nudges him towards the dimmed hallway. "All right. But no more than five minutes. And," he adds in a whisper, "wipe that smug look off your face. People will know."

A part of Yibo hopes they do.