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Love's a Mess

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Tony’s head is running a thousand miles a minute. When he finally manages to make it to his room he thinks how could I be such an idiot. What was I thinking? Of course, he could never like someone like me. I just ruined everything. He sits on his bed, head in his hands breathing brokenly.

It had started like a normal evening hanging with the team on their weekly movie night. They were still trying to catch Steve up on popular culture so they were watching Inception. He’d been sitting on the couch with Clint next to him leaning on Natasha with his legs on Tony’s lap. The movie had ended, and Clint had stood up and reached his hand out to tony. In the light with his hair slightly rumpled and haloed by the light he’d thought god your beautiful, I love you. But of course his ridiculous, sleep deprived, under caffeinated self had said it out loud right as he’d been reaching up to take Clint’s hand. It was completely silent. All movement in the room had stopped and Clint had just been standing there. Still so terribly beautiful and he looked so shocked. And he ran. That was the only smart decision he made all night. Running back to his room. Away from a man who would never love him back.

He was so caught up in his self-flagellation he didn’t even notice the figure that slipped into his room from the vent until they were kneeling right in front of him. “Hey Tones” Clint said softly. “We should talk.” Tony shifted away from him pulling even further into himself. “No need Merida I get it. There’s no need for the its not you it’s me talk. Let’s just skip it.” There was silence for a couple of seconds and then Clint saying, “and what if I felt the same.” Tony’s head shot up and he stared down at Clint in confusion. That wasn’t possible Clint couldn’t like him. He was a mess. Clint laughed and responded, “well I’m a mess too so I figure why not be a mess together.” Damn noisy head voice Tony thought viciously. Though if Clint liked him back maybe it was for the best. Clint stood up and nudged Tony. “Scoot over tin man.” Tony obliged and Clint slid in next to him. They just laid like that for a few minutes before Clint spoke again. “I’ve been in love with you for a while tony. Probably since you made me purple hearing aids for no other reason than you knew it was my favorite color.” At this Tony moved to look at him but Clint was avoiding his eyes. “I just thought what could I offer you. I’m an ex-carnie assassin whose highest level of education is a GED. You’re you. Tony ‘Fucking’ Stark. Compared to that I’m nothing. I thought it wouldn’t be so bad if I just never told you. I guess I fucked that one up” he laughed. Tony lightly touched Clint’s chin so he shifted his head to look at him. “You’re amazing” he said. “The strongest, kindest, most loyal person I know and anyone would be lucky to have you.” He leaned over and kissed Clint’s forehead. “So what’cha say want to be boyfriends?”