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For Now We'll Make A Vow (Just Keep It In The Closet)

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“Get your criminal legs away from me,” hissed Zenigata, shoving Lupin back to his side of the closet.

”I can’t help it pops,” came the inevitable whine, “I’m Charley horsing over here!”

Zenigata crossed his arms, his elbow flying into Lupin’s face in the process. It was no use. Even with just one person the closet was cramped, let alone two. Lupin’s leg slowly slid back to Zenigata’s side, who just gritted his teeth and let it go. When the police arrived to cart Lupin off the jail this indignity would be worth it.

In the dark he could barely see Lupin, but he heard the noisy sniff. “Can’t believe you got us locked in here, we’re gonna die before anyone finds us.”

”Never thought I’d see the day, something the great Lupin the III couldn’t get out of.” Zenigata taunted. “I’ve got a squad of officers coming here as we speak. So this is how it ends for you, eh? Foiled by a broom closet!”

Lupin sniffed again, “Shut up. ”’s not my fault you and your gorilla feet managed to get us caught in with no doorknob. And I ain’t,” with this he shoved at Zenigata’s chest, squashing him against the wall, “got enough space to work the hinges! I got allergies y’know!”

Not prepared to take insults from the likes of him Zenigata used one of his gorilla feet to stomp on Lupin’s own size 12s. After that there was a slight squabble. Ten minutes later they were stuck, still squashed, and still frustrated as hell.

"Anyway Jigen will find us." Lupin said confidently, as if he wasn’t just as hot and uncomfortable as Zenigata was. "Before your boys can even find their own ass."

"They can find their own ass you reprobate! They’ll find your ass soon enough!"

"That sounds pretty kinky for an officer- shit. hang on." Lupin sniffed even louder than before. "Shit I gotta sneeze."

Do not,” Zenigata forced every ounce of authority in his body into his words, “Do not sneeze on me.”

"I told ya I got allergies! It’s frigging dusty in here, wait. Wait okay. I think it’s alright-"

The sneeze came out at Mach 5, doubling Lupin over and right into Zenigata’s arms. One right after another, the string lasted till a count of 6, leaving him panting and holding onto Zenigata’s jacket for dear life.

"Lupin." Zenigata let out in a strangled tone. "Move your leg."

"Jesus Christ pops, I told ya there isn’t any room-"

"Lupin. Move your leg. Now."

There was a pause as Lupin presumably took stock of their position. His leg shoved even farther between Zenigata’s leg with the jerks of his sneezing fit. His hand wrapped around the back of Zenigata’s neck. Their chests pressed together.

"WELL." He said in an entirely different tone. "What’s going on here?"

"Don’t start."

Lupin laughed, and they were pressed together so close that Zenigata could feel the puff of breath on his cheek. “I must admit, I’m flattered. You know it explains so much about you.”

"Lupin please," Zenigata begged, "As a fellow man or whatever you are to another, just move your damn leg."

Lupin moved his face closer, and this time the puff of breath on Zenigata’s ear was no accident. “How long’s it been since you got any pops?”

Zenigata closed his eyes and tried to think about anything but that. Counted to ten. Did some mental exercises. Meanwhile the leg between his moved back and forth.

Zenigata couldn’t stop the squeak that came out if he tried. “Don’t play with me Lupin, it’s not right.”

"Oooh it’s not right," Lupin mocked lightly, pressing his knee ever so gently against Zenigata’s crotch. "You always do what’s right huh?"

"I’m an." Zenigata breathed out as Lupin pressed his knee in harder. "I’m an officer."

The hand on his neck trailed up to his ear and then his cheek. “You know, I always thought you were kinda cute. Like a bulldog.”

Then there were warm lips pressed up against his own. Lupin’s hands were hands on either side, holding him in place. The knee pressed in and did a rocking motion that made his knees buckle.

Knowing full well he’d hate himself in an hour or two, Zenigata kissed back.

They pushed against each other awkwardly in the tight space. Lupin’s hands flew down to start pushing Zenigata’s coat off. Shrugging it off and onto the ground without a care for the wrinkles, Zenigata pushed Lupin back against the other side with a growl. Of course it would have ended up this way, of course. The man was a horn dog.

He reached for Lupin’s fly.

Lupin broke the kiss off with a gasp, “Jesus you just dive right in don’tcha?

"You think I’d let you win, you." Zenigata floundered for words as he hastily shoved his hands into Lupin’s pants. "Perv."

"Nah." Lupin’s voice went up an octave, "but I do anyway, that’s what makes you so much fun."

While talking big, Zenigata had to admit he never done anything like this before. It took Lupin half as much time, and by the time Zenigata had Lupin’s cock out his was already in Lupin’s hand. Still, Lupin moaned all the same, sending a shock of satisfaction through Zenigata’s body.

Getting a rhythm was awkward. Zenigata tried to do what he always did on himself, and it seemed to work from the way Lupin’s voice caught in his throat. It still felt a bit like he was making it up as he went though.

The callouses on Lupin’s huge hand felt good enough to make his eyes rolls back into his head. He sternly told himself to concentrate. He couldn’t let Lupin win this after all.

Then the cad pulled Zenigata’s left earlobe into his mouth and Zenigata knew he’d probably lose after all.

"You’re gonna miss this when I’m in jail," Lupin teased, twisting his grip in a way that made Zenigata moan and buckle against him.

Conveniently there was a patch of exposed neck right in front of Zenigata’s face and he took a page out of Lupin’s book, sucking on it hard. Lupin’s hand quivered, and with that Zenigata pushed his advantage thumbing the cock head the way he always liked. It would have been nice if he could have seen Lupin’s face in that moment.

"Pops."

It was that half choked whine that did Zenigata in. With a grunt he came onto Lupin’s fist, feeling satisfied as Lupin did the same moments later. They shook with gasps and moans, leaning heavily against each other. In that moment, Zenigata swore he could feel Lupin petting his cheek.

When finally they came to, Zenigata could feel if not see the stare, as if Lupin had only just realized what had happened. Or maybe he didn’t care at all. Zenigata wanted to lean back, get some space, but instead he found himself pressing his lips gently to Lupin’s neck. In the tense silence he zipped them both back up. Wiped his hand on his leg.

Lupin swallowed hard. “Pops.”

With that, the door gave in behind them.

They fell over into a mess of limbs on the ground. Lupin’s elbow knocked Zenigata in the eye, and he heard the yelp as his knee knocked Lupin right in the gut. It took him a second to process what happened but then he jumped to his feet in triumph, holding a hand to his eye.

"HAH, I TOLD YOU LUPIN, I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D GET OUT. IT’LL NOW BE MY GREATEST HONOR TO PLACE YOU UNDER ARREST FOR THE HEINOUS CRIMES OF ROBBERY AND THIEVERY AND GENERALLY TOMFOOL-"

"Hey Jigen, hey Goemon," Lupin winced, still doubled over on the floor.

"Hey." Jigen looked up at Zenigata’s disheveled appearance then down at Lupin who’s glaring hickey was on full display. "…goddamnit Lupin."

"But, But." Zenigata wilted, looking around miserably. "My men."

"We ran into them on the way," Jigen aid with a smirk. "Literally."

Geomon helped Lupin onto his feet. “Lupin, you look terrible.”

"Gee, thanks Goemon," Lupin brushed himself off. "I really appreciate that."

"My men," Zenigata moaned as Jigen and Goemon continued to ignore him.

Patting his shoulder consolingly, Lupin grinned. “Look at it this way pops, you wouldn’t want them to see you like this anyway.”

He adjusted Zenigata’s shirt until it was more or less neat while Jigen and Goemon looked on, bemused. The hickey on his neck was still plainly visible for all to see, Zenigata’s cheeks already burned at the reminder. The cheeky kiss to his face didn’t help.

"Catch you later," Lupin winked, and sauntered away.