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Team Guy, or the Rise of Absurdity

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“Okay, so your horoscope says: ‘If you can envision it, you can make it a reality’,” Tenten read, her buns slightly loose for once.

“Really?!” Lee roared, his eyes literally sparkling. He continued, “What’s next, what’s next?!”

“Calm down!” Tenten chuckled. She was holding the newspaper, sitting in the lotus position on the verdant grass of Konoha. “So… ‘As the fiery Archer, your outgoing, adventurous nature is backed by your power planet, optimistic Jupiter’—”

“What about love?” Lee asked, no, demanded. Next to him, Neji scoffed, lowering his book with a raised eyebrow.

“If you’re thinking of Sakura” –he tossed his ponytail over his shoulder in a bitchy manner– “you really are hopeless.”

Lee’s eyes went wide as he frowned… which created a monobrow. Whereas Tenten would have thought he would challenge Neji into another battle, he did nothing of the sort. Instead, he lowered his head.

“Neji…” their friend began with a deep voice. Oh, no; did Neji say something wrong? Tenten looked at the Hyūga with a grimace; should he apologize? “YOU KNOW ME SO WELL!” Lee roared with tears flooding his round face; there was also a long line of snot dripping from his nostril.

Neji moved backwards, still sitting cross-legged, disgust showing on his face. His hand in front of him, he shouted in an authoritative way:

“Don’t touch me!”

“But, Neji!” Lee cried.

“Don’t… touch… me!”

And there was Tenten, watching with weariness her two comrades. One could see a drop of sweat rolling down her temple. Why must they always be like this? she internally cried. She hit herself with the newspaper in despair.

 

There was Team Guy. With Lee sniffing “Neji!”, the called one shouting “Don’t you dare touch me, you distasteful being!” and Tenten despairingly hitting herself with Konoha’s newspaper while screaming “Both of you, stop!”.

The Rise of Absurdity had begun.