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Supermarket Skeletons

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You walk down the aisle closest to you, hoping in your mind that it would be empty so that the other consumers around you wouldn’t stare in confusion as you had a panic attack trying to find the pasta sauce that you think tastes best. Fortunately, only one other person stood in the aisle, they seemed to be frustrated as they rustled through the multiple bags of pasta around them. As you got closer you really got a good look at them, it was a monster.

Monsters had been released from the mountain years ago and you’d seen multiple around but this skeleton didn’t seem familiar. The second he turned to face you your entire body froze in place, he’d caught you staring. You really didn’t want to keep looking, but you did. He was incredibly tall, he put your height to shame. His teeth were sharp and he looked like he wanted to rip you to shreds, his eyes were narrowed, he looked absolutely furious at something.. or someone.

The male skeleton wore the typical bad boy black jeans with holes here and there, a leather jacket over his dark hot topic t-shirt making him look like a badass, Black boots with a small heel (that was probably why he looked so tall,) and a dark red scarf that in your opinion complimented his attire. The scar over his left eye caught your attention, It looked as if somebody had carved his skull with a knife.

‘It’s rude to stare y/n.’ Your inner subconscious said which made you immediately turn away. You hoped you hadn’t made him angry by staring at him for god knows how long. Eventually, the rustling continued and your shoulders slumped in relief, when did you start holding your breath?

Apparently inner y/n had formed an entire plan in her brain to walk up to this monster who seemed vicious at first glance.. and ask him if he needed help. No, you didn’t work at this supermarket, you didn’t usually do this. It just seemed like a kind thing to do and just now you’d decided to reevaluate your life and become a new, kinder person. Kind is now your middle name. Who’s the kindest person in this room? you. Okay, time to approach this intimidating skeleton as y/n kind l/n.

So you approached.

“Hey man.. I was watching you from over there and figured you needed help looking for something.” ABORT MISSION. ‘I was watching you from over there,’ well done y/n now you sound like a creepy stalker.

His gaze snapped towards you, you tried to stay calm but inner y/n was halfway across the country now.

“HUMAN.. DO YOU WORK HERE?” He asked, asked? More like yelled. His voice was extremely loud and it made you flinch slightly because of the volume. Why did you do this.. you don’t even work here.

“No.. actually I-‘ You started but he automatically cut you off.

“THE OTHER HUMANS BUYING THE FOOD ARE MORE USEFUL THAN THE HUMANS SELLING THE FOOD, STRANGE.” You chuckled at that, this supermarket had terrible staff and you’d been trying to tell people that for years.

“Yeah, they’re useless here. You come for some spaghetti and leave with the utter embarrassment of walking around for hours because you couldn’t find the thing that you originally came here for and nobody will help you look.”

Okay, now you were rambling.

He didn’t smile or laugh at that, the furious face he had once shown wasn’t present anymore, he seemed more content.

“YOU OFFERED TO HELP ME LOOK FOR SOMETHING? WELL I’M LOOKING FOR THESE SPECIFIC LASAGNE SHEETS.” He said, shoving the shopping list that you hadn’t noticed before into your hands. Half of the items were crossed out and there was a hot dog drawn on the side of the paper which made you giggle.

Carefully handing the list back to him, you scanned the aisle until you found the sheets that he was looking for cleverly hidden behind the more expensive lasagne sheets. You snatched the packet of sheets off the shelf and put it in the red basket that he was holding in his other hand.

“I-“ his skull flushed red with embarrassment, you understood his pain. The humiliation of finally finding help and the item being right infront of your eyes the entire time.

“Don’t even worry about it, this place is so confusing. Everything is hidden behind the expensive brands.” You assured him, which made him nod his head in understanding. You both stared at each other for a minute before he spoke up.

“YOU SEEM TO BE A DECENT HUMAN,” Score.

“BECAUSE OF THAT I WILL NOT THREATEN TO INJURE YOU IN ANY WAY.” Well, that’s pretty nice. Who knew that such an intimidating guy could be so.. not stabby.

“Well thank you, kind sir. It was an honour looking for your lasagna sheets.” You said, giving him a quick curtsey just to show how “honoured” you felt.

The skeleton rolled his eye lights at you, clearly understanding your sarcasm and turning away from you getting ready to walk away, but you weren’t done.

“Hey, wait!” He paused, turning back to face you.

“Do I not get your name? Are we not going to buy lasagne sheets every week together?” What were you saying? You’d never been this confident around a person but this guy seemed like a total badass and you low-key wanted to be friends with this strange monster.

“EXCUSE ME?” He sounded genuinely confused and slightly conflicted. You didn’t want to pressure him to be your friend.. you just thought it would be nice to-

“I GUESS THAT FOR HELPING ME YOU MAY HAVE MY NUMBER, PERHAPS I’LL BE ABLE TO PICK YOU OUT A BETTER OUTFIT IN THE FUTURE.”

You scoffed and slipped your phone out of the back pocket of your worn out jeans, handing it towards him. The comment about your outfit hadn’t hurt, you weren’t aware that you were going to be meeting the ‘outfit king’ at the supermarket so you threw on the first thing you found.

“THERE, NOW YOU HAVE MY NUMBER. TRY NOT TO FEEL THE CONSTANT NEED TO BE IN CONTACT WITH ME.” He said smugly, handing your phone back to you with a little more force than he probably intended.

The edgy skeleton had created a new contact just for himself and you stifled a chuckle at the name he had input.

“The Terrible Edge?’ You questioned him, raising an eyebrow and giving him a teasing smile.

“YES, THAT’S MY TITLE. IF YOU’D PREFER, YOU CAN CALL ME EDGE.”

“Edge, cool name.” Yeah, you can keep it cool. Overwhelming the poor skeleton with your overly positive attitude may put your future friendship at risk.

“I KNOW. NOW HUMAN, I MUST GO CHECK ON MY BROTHER. THAT LAZY CRETIN HAS PROBABLY FALLEN ASLEEP IN A SHOPPING CART.”

Oh, so he has a brother. Maybe you’re in line for two potential future friends.

“Oh okay, well enjoy your lasagne!” You gave him a small wave as he walked away, he walked with confidence as if the entire world bowed down to him.

That was certainly interesting, now to find that spaghetti sauce that you were looking for!

After scanning the entire aisle twice you gave up, maybe a helpful store employee would be in today? That’s when you came across another monster who was stocking the shelves in the aisle across from yours.

“Excuse me,” The monster turned towards you, he gave you an annoyed look before wiping it off his face to produce the fakest smile you’d ever seen.

“hey, how can i help ya?” He asked, his voice sounding quite gruff with a hint of a Brooklyn accent. He was just a bit shorter than you, his golden tooth being the first thing you noticed about him. His pupils were red and he looked a little nervous to be standing there under your gaze.

The employee uniform he was wearing looked as if it was thrown on, oh how you can heavily relate to this skeleton.

“Hi, I’m looking for this pasta sauce-“ You proceeded to show him the list which only had one item being the pasta sauce written on it, you had trouble pronouncing the brand so decided to save yourself the embarrassment and show the monster your list.

“oh, that’s over there.” He pointed towards the aisle you’d just come from, you let out a huff of annoyance which seemed to slightly displease him.

“I just looked over there, I can’t find it. Can you just point it out to me so I know where to get it in the future.” You didn’t want to sound needy, you knew he had a job to do but you refused to spend hours lingering around the store until somebody bought the exact sauce that you wanted or the manager informed you that it was closing time.

The skeleton monster shrugged, strolling over to the aisle you'd just come from which was stocked with multiple brands of sauce, all except for the one you were searching for. You followed after him and watched as he went through, eye sockets scanning over each item before turning back towards you.

“sorry doll, guess we ran out.” He looked exhausted but you were kind of desperate for this sauce, you refused to eat your spaghetti with any other sauce other than this one. When you had discovered it you’d never gone back to that cheap stuff you used to use.

“Are you sure? You don’t have like a compartment behind the store?”

Giving you the most confused look anybody had ever given you, he shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

The employees always say this, they’re too lazy to check anywhere else. You were getting sick of it, the constant excuses “Oh sorry, we’re out.”

Okay y/n, calm down. Maybe they are actually out of the pasta sauce, you can’t be so sure. You’re not the lord of pasta sauce, you also don’t work here.

The skeleton started to sweat profusely at your silence, you were just staring wordlessly at him.

“listen, i can go check with the manager or somethin’, maybe they moved it to the front.” He said, which made you snap out of your inner monologue about pasta sauce.

“O-oh yeah, that’d be great, thanks.” You said, embarrassed because you’d zoned out while this guy was just trying to help you out.

“i’ll be right back.” Then he disappeared right before your eyes. Is he okay? Was that meant to happen? Probably, but what if he disappeared and never comes back?

“Okay, hurry back.” You replied to nobody, Your thoughts moving back towards the tall edgy skeleton. You wonder if he ever found his brother. You’d seen more skeletons today than you’d ever seen in your life.

After waiting several minutes you were convinced that this skeleton was not coming back, it doesn’t take ten minutes to find one specific brand of pasta sauce. Another night with a crappy microwavable dinner, I guess.

“hi.” You screamed in terror at the sudden appearance of the short skeleton, he had popped out of nowhere and you were sure that you just peed yourself.

“What the- How did- Where- Hi?” He stared at you blankly before bursting into a fit of laughter, pointing at you and all.

“oh my god, you should’ve seen ya face.” Wiping his eye sockets as if he was crying tears of laughter you stood there wanting to punch him in the skull. How dare he scare you like that, this is what you get for being a good person for a day? A skeleton scaring the actual urine out of you.

“Are you fin-“

“heh heh heh.”

“It wasn’t that-“

“your fuckin’ face, heh.”

“Did you get the sauce or not?” You asked, crossing your arms and standing up just a little straighter to seem more intimidating. He seemed to know what you were doing and this time looked a bit more relaxed.

“thanks for the laugh, doll. here ya go, last one in stock.” He handed you the sauce that you had been looking for and you refrained from jumping up and down and hugging him, that’d just be weird.

“Thank you! You’re the best.” Giving him a wide smile, you admired the sauce in your hands. Oh how you never thought you two would meet again. You missed the sweet taste, the intoxicating aroma that always made your mouth water. The delightful feeling of it on your tongue, down your throat-

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Once again, you caught the skeleton staring at you. You were quite frankly offended by the strange look that he was giving you.

“no reason, sorry. was that really worth all the trouble, though? it’s just pasta sauce.” He scratched his skull, his gaze drifting down towards the sauce, this made you extremely confused and now you were even more offended.

“You’ve never tried this? Oh my god, what are you doing with your life?” Silence on his end, you understood that. Anybody who doesn’t understand the remarkable flavour of this sauce usually doesn’t have anything to say when confronted about it.

“You should come over for dinner one time, I’ll make pasta for you!” You said, Wow y/n you just crossed all boundaries, this is a complete stranger. Understandably he gave you a curious look as if you were inviting him over to murder him.

“Sorry, don’t take me seriously. I’m just surprised that you have bad taste. That’s okay though, you do you. This sounds like I’m trying to lure you to my house, I’m not I-“

“sorry, i’m not interested in sleeping with ya, ya ain’t really my type”

“What?” You questioned him, had you heard him right? When did you mention getting it on with him?

“No, I didn’t-“

“SANS! WHERE ARE YOU?” yelled somebody in another aisle, the voice almost seemed familiar but you just couldn’t put your finger on it.

“SAAAAA-“

“i’m here.” The skeleton in front of you yelled, the other voice went silent and you heard rapid marching coming towards your aisle.

“SANS, I’VE BEEN SEARCHING THIS ENTIRE STORE FOR YOU- OH HELLO HUMAN.” Edge said as he approached you both, You waved at him in return and the short skeleton who was apparently named Sans looked at both of you in utter confusion.

“do you know her, bro?” Sans asked Edge, in response Edge nodded and proceeded to tell Sans about how you two met but something caused you to zone out.

Bro? Wait was this the brother Edge was talking about? Why didn’t you put the pieces together earlier? You’re an idiot, y/n. This Sans guy is going to tell Edge all about how you tried to get into bed with him when that didn’t happen!

“Sans if we slept together I really don’t think that I would enjoy it because your bones would probably dig into me.” You said trying to defend yourself, you weren't interested in any kind of sexual interaction with him either. This statement made Edge stop yelling at his brother and turn towards you, giving you a look of disgust.

“WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT SLEEPING WITH MY BROTHER?”

“she tried to invite me over, boss. i was just tryin’ ta do my job.”

“Invited you over for dinner, I don’t want to get in bed with you!” You argued, glaring down at Sans and making sure to exclaim the ‘for dinner' part which was your only intention, to have dinner and share your sauce with him so he too could indulge in the flavour.

“well yeah, ya just fuckin’ said that when you insulted me. my bones ain’t that sharp.”

“I never said they were!”

“SHUT UP! YOU TWO ARE SUCH CHILDREN, STOP ARGUING BEFORE I SHOVE THAT GLASS OF PASTA SAUCE DOWN ONE OF YOUR THROATS!” Edge yelled, making both you and Sans stop, you held the pasta sauce to your chest protectively and gasped at his threat.

How dare he say that, how heartless can one hot topic loving skeleton be? Extremely heartless, literally. Who knew that someone as kind as yourself was also hilarious?

“HUMAN, MAYBE WE SHOULD SORT THIS STUPID DILEMMA OUT DURING DINNER. SANS DOESN'T WANT ANY TROUBLE, HE'S JUST AN IDIOT. YOU ARE WELCOME TO COME TO OUR HOME FOR A COOKED MEAL AND AN APOLOGY FROM MY BROTHER." Edge said, glaring at Sans in anger.

You didn't want to pass up an offer for dinner, it made you feel a little less excited knowing that Edge only invited you over so you wouldn't tell anybody about your argument with a monster. Most humans were okay with the monsters joining civilisation but if one bad thing came out about them it'd be chaos. You wouldn't do that, maybe if they got to know you a little better through dinner they'd think differently.

You shrugged your shoulders nonchalantly, don't seem too enthusiastic about this y/n or you might scare Edge off and that's the last thing you want to do right now.

“Sure, if you’d like, I’m not too bothered.” Sans let out an irritated huff beside you as Edge gave you a smirk and began to tell you about what he was going to make for you. He definitely knew a lot about cooking, from what he thought. Vinegar and lasagne? A strange combination, don't judge a book by it's cover, I suppose.

You then remembered the sauce that you were about to purchase, you had planned to have dinner alone again but now you're actually going somewhere else instead of staying inside and wishing that you hadn't dropped all of your friends last year. No, get those negative thoughts out of your head, you deserve this.

Spaghetti can always be made tomorrow, right now you’re going to eat lasagne at the house of two edgy skeletons and you're going to have so much fun.

I hope.