[ A marching band version of “Die Young” by Ke$ha plays as a royal boat floats across a lake between a kingdom ]
[There’s a ceremony going on while Y/N, the heir of a kingdom, does a special ceremony thing with fire!]
Y/N, waving to the crowd: Hi! Hello! Oh my gosh, you guys are too much!
Crowd Member #1: Sign my socks!
Crowd Member #2: Heir, sign my birth certificate!
Crowd Member #3: Take my house!
Crowd Member #4: Sign my tax forms!
Crowd Member #5: Sign my toes!
Crowd Member #6: My bed is made of scorpions.
Crowd Member #7: … What?
Crowd Member #8: You should get that fixed!
[Y/N makes it to the stadium with Priest Ethan, handing them a torch. Y/N stares into the flames intensely]
Y/N, internally: Wow, this fire is so bright. It’s beautiful. I can’t stop looking at it. (really selling it) Whoa.
[Y/N suddenly has a vision of the torch being turned into fire, and then into the Grand Slam, burning everything]
Y/N: It’s like it’s spinning within me…
[The Grand Slam roars, ending Y/N’s vision to the present]
Y/N: Oh shit! That’s outside- outside of me… Okay… Yes. I’m good!
Priest Ethan: Heir, you had a That’s So Raven vision once more.
Y/N: Oh no, I just day-dreamed. I’m here- for the people.
Priest Ethan: Alright, well, let’s get litty in this bitch. Light that bitch up right now.
Y/N, raising the torch: I will light this bitch up, right now.
Priest Ethan: Thank you, Heir. We’re gonna get higher than a kite tonight!
Y/N: It’s lit, fam.
[Crowd cheers as Y/N lights the bitch up, setting fireworks to go off]
Crowd Member #9: Yay! I love the olympics!
Crowd Member #10: Oh man, I hope somebody fucks up the fireworks!
[Y/N waves to the crowd before getting interrupted by explosions that DEFINITELY didn’t come from the fireworks]
[A huge ship soars overhead, dropping off many many many many MANY red (Elliot), green (Lenny), and yellow (Oliver) Googles (yes I gave them names cuz if Oliver gets a name, why not the rest?), surrounding the Heir Y/N]
Elliot #1: We are the robots!
Lenny #1: Please freeze!
Oliver #1: There’s too much weight.
Elliot #2: Please freeze!
Lenny #2: Please freeze!
Oliver #2: Am I doing this right? It’s my first day on the job.
Elliots, Lennys, & Olivers: Please freeze!
[A smaller ship hovers down, and as it lands, it reveals Captain Magnum and his old pirate-y self, making the greatest comeback in all of Markiplier Cinematic Universe history]
Captain Magnum: (chuckles) Why, ahoy there, young Heir! Do ye like me outfit? Me four coat nipples? Now- ye must acquire me by getting on this boat right now! Not the boat- my ship!
[Y/N flinches, utterly horrified of Magnum’s terrible new lines, and clenches on a special emerald that the Captain wants for… powers, I guess. He’s been a pirate for a while and it’s not going very well with his mental health]
Captain Magnum: Gimme this- (noticing the emerald) You have an emerald! In yer hands! Gimme that shit right now, or I’m gonna rip it off you me goddamn self- Give it to me!
Y/N: Uh, how about no? Heheh…
Captain Magnum: Oh. You’d rather do this the hard way. Well, then it looks like we’re gonna…
[A mix of a black and red tornado swirls around Y/N and the returned Magnum]
Captain Magnum: Belay that, these aren’t tornadoes! This isn’t Arizona! What’s happening?!
[The tornado disrupts itself, and after a gust of wind, it reveals friggin MARK FISCHBACH HIMSELF]
Mark: My! That’s a pretty snazzy performance there.
[Y/N gasps, having a quick vision of somebody else who looks a lot like Mark, but it is not quite him]
[Back to the present, and Mark looks around as if he already knows how to get Y/N out of this situation]
Captain Magnum: Get that goddamn scallywag!
[The three Googles get gun arms, and fire at Mark, but since he’s Sonic in this hell of a parody OF a parody, he’s too fast for them and outwits them all]
Oliver #3: Oh my God, he’s an acrobat!
Mark: I’m gonna kill all of you!
[He pokes a red Google with the tips of his toes, and it sends the red Google to fall off a ledge]
Elliot #3: (agonizing scream)
Mark: Ope, don’t fall!
[He zips over to Y/N]
Mark: HAHA, HA-
[He points a finger up]
Mark: O N E !
[He scoops Y/N in his arms and zooms right off]
Mark: Come on, buddy!
Captain Magnum: Mark, where do ye reckon ye’re going, ye motherfucking-?! Urgh, he’s COCKBLOCKING ME, GET HIM!
[The Googles fire missiles, but Mark and Y/N are already so far away]
Mark: Never gonna get me~! (to Y/N) Don’t worry, Magnum’s an egghead.
Captain Magnum, from far away: WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!
[While this chaos is happening, a time-travelled Mayor Damien is thrown into the mix!]
Damien: Oh, I should… uh… I- I guess he’s got it handled. I’ll just… I mean, it’d be really awkward if I walked in now, so…