Actions

Work Header

Sing Along with Emperor Palpatine!

Chapter Text

I'm the Emperor
I'm the Emperor of the land
You're a loser
I won't dismiss you out of hand
'Cause you had a beautiful face
It could've taken you places

You keep running
I gave you money, you've got fame
Every morning, I see your picture on the trains
Now you're a "Sith Lord"
So says your resume
I led you to the Dark Side
You couldn't save a life along the way

You're insubordinate, you're not answering my calls
Your coordinates
I expected this last fall
Get back to Coruscant
So singular you're not
I need you here;
We've quite a lot to talk about

We've had a deal now,
One you signed in Jedi blood
An understanding
Apprentices never keep their word
I'm disappointed
I'm aggravated
Things haven't gone my way,
I guess I'll have to:

Blow up all the faces of rivals
I swear and rant, I make quite an arrival
They're all surprised by my language
I once was discrete, they're all hypocrites
Force-choke them, too!

I always flattered you
You always had a lot of power
Anakin Skywalker, Chosen One
Turned to the dark
You've got the essence, friend
If I could have a second skin
I'd probably dress up as you

You're a Sith now,
You've no time for things like love
Your boy's a Skywalker
And though he's naive as a dove
You've made him hate you
He'll never join you
For a dad he wanted someone else
Now I can turn him to the Dark as well

He'll blow up in the face of his rival
You swear and rant, he makes quite an arrival
Don't be surprised by my knowledge
You act so discrete, you're a hypocrite
Forget you
So kill him, boy.

Chapter Text

You know my Senator days are over,
But does that mean that I'm getting boring?
You tell me
I'm tired of listening to Valorum
I'm tired of fixing things for Padme and the rest of them.

You know, my Chancellor days are over
I hung my robes up and then retired from the Senate floor
The nature of my so-called identity
The Sith between Seperatist forces and the Jedi's door
At the Temple door

You know, my celibate days are over
I've put you straight on the finer points
Of my Dark Side powers
Through the windows of the Chancellor's office
A foolish Jedi falls, a sorry tale, and you turn to me
Yes, you turn to me

Six months on, Republic's gone
The disenchanted General
Left the town with the former Queen
The Senator got lonely.
At Mustafar, the sinister song
I wrote is rendered wholly
Amidala's dying, feeling melancholy

You say it's fate that's doing it
A tragic dream of your secret wife has been bugging you
Now the secret of the way it should be
The story of the Sith life saving, the Dark Side, yeah.

You know my masquerade is over
I've donned this face for the final time and I've walked away
I've seen you in my new Empire
You're whoring out for greedy Moffs, on the Death Star, yeah
You'll bury Anakin
You'll go through hell

Six months on, Republic's gone
Disenchanted, Kenobi
Sneaks a ride with Padme
Pregnant Senator got lonely
At Mustafar, the final fight
Will send you to the Dark Side
Your wife and kids, you've killed, what a pity

Pretty lady
Melancholy
What a pity
Rendered wholly
You're so foolish
Rendered wholly
Melancholy
You're so dumb
Padme's dying

Chapter Text

Elope with me, Yan Dooku
And we'll sail around the stars
You can be Darth Tyranus
And I the king of Mars-wait, that's not even in galactic boundaries. Oh well. Continuing:
How many nights of talking in hotel rooms can you take?
How many nights of limping round on Sith-ly holidays
Oh, elope with me, Yan Dooku
And we'll set something ablaze
A trail for the Jedi to erase

Anakin hits the 318-What? What does that even mean?
And practices every day
Kenobi puts the Order first
And rests on holidays
He goes into the Temple
And lies prostrate on the floor
He's really missing Qui-Gon Jinn,
He's hoping for a door-
way to a relationship with Anakin
-That always makes you cry
Kenobi's crying too, and well he may.

Elope with me, Skywalker
And we'll drink ourselves away
We'll taste Corellian vintages
And deny certificates
A dinner bill to keep the feel
Of Mentor-Jedi style
We'll comment on the decor
And critique the passersby
And when I dismiss the Senate
We'll continue the debate
In my borrowed palace
Redecorated black

Vader, I've a drowning grip
On your mutilated face
Son Luke, misguided responsibility
Has found a place
Beside you says your father
He'll slay me and he will rule
Come join me for the Sith,
you know obey the Rule of Two
You will kill your father, I know it, there's no debate
You'll turn to the Dark Side, little Sith