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We were always going to end up here

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“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” - Hebrews 13:4

~~~~~~~

Jensen’s a good man. Never had a bad word said against him. The town loves him, from kids to the elderly. They’re charmed by his all-American looks, his family values. That smile. You see, Jensen is a reserved guy, not shy are all bit definitely not the all-in-your-face type of guy, never has been.

He enjoys the occasional drink, single malt whiskey over the weekend, 2 cubes of ice. Never pushes his limit.

Keeps him self in shape, likes to be healthy. Goes for a run every morning at 6.30am. Life is good. Yes, life is good...

He’s married, happily, coming up to 12 years. Louise is her name, sandy blonde hair, just pass her shoulders and the bluest eyes. They had met in the final year of college, University of Virginia, both majoring in Business. Fell in love, married young and never looked back. His 2 little girls he adores. May you strike him down and rip his soul to shreds before you say that he doesn’t put his girls first. Alice and Annie, jewels, the most angelic and most beautiful.

He owns a local business in town. Car rental. Makes good money, comfortable life . So yep, he’s doing good. He has all he needs and all he wants.

~~~~~~~~~~
It’s a sunny day in this suburban town. Sun is high in the sky, beaming down on the neighbourhood. It’s idyllic, pleasing and picturesque.

It’s a Sunday morning, and living in Smithtown, if you ain’t at church on a Sunday morning then shall your soul be cursed and damned to hell.

“Louise, babe, you ready?”, he’s waiting on the front lawn, eyes narrowing on the green lawn. He’ll put the sprinklers on later, freshen the grass a little, he thinks.

“Just two minutes, honey! Fixing up Annies hair” she shouts from the hallway.

He smiles to himself, if he had a nickel for all the times he has been kept waiting while the girls finish fixing themselves up, he’s pretty sure his pocket would feel slightly heavier to say the least.

He strolls down to the car, whistles a nameless tune when he hears that voice...

“Come on, Mama we gon’ be late”, that voice, from that boy. It’s stirs something deep in Jensen, something he doesn’t understand.

“Relax JT, we got time, you keeping stressing an’ you’ll lose ya hair ‘fore ya 25” comes the voice of Mrs Padalecki, she huffs out a laugh and shakes her head.

She walks down to their car, locks eyes with Jensen and twiddles her fingers in a wave “Morning Jensen! Be seein’ you at church”, she throws a cheery smile and goes back to facing the car. He jostles a wave back and a nod of the head.

Mr Padalecki follows after that, greeting Jensen and again confirming that he’ll see him in church. Jensens mid nod as his eyes flicker, from the corner, out last comes their son... Jared. Jensen feels nervous all of a sudden, doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he fiddles with his car keys.

He can’t tell you where it started, he doesn’t really know himself. If he thinks back, he realises he started paying more attention over the last year since the boy hit 15 and this feeling inside started gnawing at him. This boy next door must be some sorta warlock, put Jensen in spell ‘cause Jensens a good man and good men don’t think like this.

Jared’s dressed in his church suit, light grey, almost tailored to fit perfectly on his frame. Almost. This boy is continuously growing. Nearly eye level with Jensen. He bets, give a couple of years, and Jared will shoot up past him. The thought makes him tug on his bottom lip.

“Mornin’ Mr Ackles” he chirps, dimples big enough for Jensen to drown in, the boy smiles so wide that it tugs at Jensen, that feeling inside again, it makes him inhale sharply.

He steadies himself, “Good morning, Jared”, he smiles at the boy “I’ll be seein’ you” he calls as the boy is jogging to get to the car, chestnut brown hair bouncing in and out of his eyes as runs. Jensen feels as though someone has pressed some sort of slow-motion button in these few seconds, as Jared slowly turns his head with a smile, hint of pink tongue peeking to dart wetly over his lips “oh yes sir!“.

Jensen is damned.

He is snapped out of his thoughts by his little girls, “daddy!”, Alice comes running, and Jensen reaches down to grab her and hike her up to his chest, “we ready my princess”, glances to the side as the Padalecki car drifts down the road.

“Sorry honey, we’re good to go”, Louise comes with Annie hitched on her hip, she reaches to peck a kiss at Jensens cheek, breathless from getting the girls ready.

Jensen smiles absently.

Ready for church. Ready to be saved.

They drive on up to the entrance of church, Jensen zones in on looking for a space, wishes they’d got here a little earlier. Sunday’s are always the worst for parking. “Honey, I’ll take the girls out here near the entrance and you can look for a space. Be at the gates for you” she pecks a kiss to his check again, “okay, see you girls in a bit. Be good for your mama ok ” he smiles as both girls nod and harmonise a ”yes, daddy ”, gives them a wink as he drives off to find a free spot.

He counts himself lucky as he spots a space a minute up the road, parks under the shade, covered by an enormous tree, with the greens leaves battling against the lightest breeze.

He locks the car and starts waking back up to the entrance, caught off guard by a bump to his shoulders. Turns his face to see him, that face, that smile. He has to bite the inside of his cheek ‘cause his sure he could feel some odd whimper trying to creep up his throat.

“Busy this mornin’ ain’t it Mr Ackles” and there it is again, that tongue peeping past his lips. Jensen doesn’t know where to look, starts fumbling with his hands in pocket. “Mr Ackles, you ok sir?” Oh Jesus Christ, he’s gotta be doing on purpose right. Jensen gets flustered, throws out a few little coughs to get his concentration back. “Yeah, Jared I’m good. Just not too bright this morning is all” he feigns a smile, while his mind is still stuck on Jared pink mouth. Oh Jesus, he thinks, again. He needs to see his wife and girls and then he’ll feel right.

“I’m sure church will make you feel better sir, mama says church and prayers is the cure for all your troubles” he huffs a laugh with a show of him rolling his eyes a little. Jensen feels weak.

Jared waves off as he chases back up to his folks and Jensen feels like he’s walking aimlessly. “There you are, what did you park on the other side of the town, Jensen, honey?” she teases as she pats his arm. He hums a laugh “let’s go get seated yeah” as he reaches his hands to join with the girls as they walk in.

He stares at Jesus on the cross, stares through the service. Keeps his focus straight, no matter how much he wants to turn his head to the left and look, look at that boy, that boy who is slowly breaking Jensen up inside.

He prays, prays for what is wrong with him, prays to be saved.

Chapter Text

“People with integrity walk safely, but those who follow crooked paths will slip and fall.” - Proverbs 10:9

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jared. The boy next door, with the shaggy brown high and knobbly knees, his name means “he descends”. Jensen knows this, he’s read it up. A biblical name. Jensens pretty sure his name is not in the bible or any holy scripture for that matter. If it were, then it would be defined as an abomination. The worst of the worst.

Jensen swallows hard, sips on his coffee. Relishes the burn.

He prays nightly, silently to himself. Hands clasped tight together, asks why. No answers ever given. Instead he’s got a teenage boy, a teenage boy that makes him chub up fat in his pants, he’s stopped fighting that part of his body now. Sobs into his fist as he vigorously jerks off in the bathroom, painting shower tiles white.

~~~~~~~~~

It’s the height of summer, sun still beaming high in the sky as he parks up in his drive after work. He glances in his rear view and he sees him, Jared. He sees him walking his bike up the driveway. He hastily gets out and stands up straight. Smoothing out the wrinkles in his navy blue shirt. He focuses in on the boy as Jared walks his way.

Oh fuck, he thinks, as the boy waves hi.

He’s in his school soccer uniform, red shorts sitting snug on his slim boy thighs, face and neck all sweaty, hair sticking wetly to his forehead. He’s sure they have showers at the school gym. Jared could’ve had one. Is this his test.

He can feel himself getting fatter in his pants. Hopes Jared can’t smell the shame that leaks sticky against cotton.

“Mr Ackles, hi, um, can I ask a favour?” He smiles breathlessly. Gently lays his bike on the grass.

“They don’t have showers at school?” He doesn’t realise he asked that out loud until he draws his eyes away from the sweaty bob of Jared Adam’s apple. He sees Jared blushing, eyes wide. He’s stammering now, looking younger than he is and fuck, that makes Jensen twitch hard in his pants.

He’s gonna pray hard tonight.

“Oh...I... m’sorry, I just was in a rush” Jared looks down at the pavement, stares at it like he wants it to swallow him up. He licks his lips again. Jensen steps forward, their standing close, too close. Jared looks up then, can probably feel Jensens hot breath on his face.

Jensen looks around to gaze around the quiet street, hears children playing in the distance. He thinks of his girls then. If they were here they would save him from this, but they’re not and he can feel himself slipping.

Turns his gaze back “Hey, Jay, it’s ok, I’m just teasing” he lays his hand on Jareds forearm. The realisation hits him then that this is the first time he’s touched Jared.

Jared runs hot, and Jensen wants to burn.

Jared smiles back at him then, dimples growing. “What did you wanna ask me, Jared?... Do you need help with something?” He asks the latter question in a much more low and hungry tone. It’s the same tone he uses on his wife to get her in the mood.

“Um, yeah uh ma dad said um that you can fix bikes? Mines a lil’ broken on the brakes. If it’s not too much trouble, Mr Ackles, can’ya take at look at it?” he looks at Jensen with those wide eyes.

“Yeah... yeah I can do that, why don’t we get outta the sun. I got some tools in the garage, we can have a look. Bring your bike up” he turns to walk up.

He closes his eyes and counts to ten. Whispers a silent little prayer for guidance.

He can feel Jared standing right behind him, patiently.

“Thanks Mr Ac-“, Jensen cuts him off abruptly with a wave of his hand. “Jared, please. Just call me Jensen” he says with a smile. A devils smile.

“Oh-oh ok, yeah, m’thanks Jensen” he stammers out. Jensen grips the garage door handle hard, hearing his name roll of the boys tongue stirs a dark feeling inside him.

“Please” he whispers low, to himself, to god.

Jared’s standing close by the whole time, close enough for Jensen to smell teenage boy sweat, close enough to taste if he dared. He can feel Jareds eyes on him.

Jensen feels his cheeks heat, hopes to heaven he’s not blushing.

He locks eyes with Jared, feels his lips go dry, tongues wetly over them. Jared’s mimicking what Jensen’s doing. A few seconds tick by and his gaze is on stuck on Jensens mouth still, he hasn’t glanced away. He releases a deep breath he hadn’t known he was holding.

“I wanna...I-I wa-can i...”, Jared can’t get the words out. Jensen cuts him off, impatient with want, “say it” he breathes out, he’s begging, he doesn’t care. He needs to hear what Jared wants. Needs him to say it.

He reaches out, wants to brush the hair out of Jareds eyes.

“Jensen..I-” the sound of Jensens mobile ringing cuts him off. Jensen closes his eyes, mentally curses and turns to pull out his phone.

And there’s she is, his wife, she’s flashing big and bright on the screen, blonde hair, big smile as she’s cradling their two girls.

He swallows thickly. Slides to open.

“Jensen, sorry honey, can you pick me and the girls up. We’re at Sarahs, girls are gettin’ kinda cranky, they want their daddy”, Louise sounds tired.
“Hey, yeah sure, tell ‘em I’ll be there soon” he can hear Louise sigh in relief, ”thanks, see you soon”. He hears her press a kiss to the phone and before he can reply to it the line clicks dead.

He runs his hand through his hair before he turns around, looks at Jared, and sighs with regret “I have to go, I-....” he watches in a trance as Jareds sweaty bangs fall into his eyes as he shakes his head, ”Oh, yeah, ok... uh tha-thanks for helping fix my bike, I much ‘ppreciate it” he gives a smile, all dimples. It makes Jensen think stupid, “Can you come tomorrow, Jared, after school, yeah? I still need to finish up on your bike, make sure it’s all good for you, yeah?” He places his hand on the bike close to Jareds, studies as the boy bites his lip and breaks into a shy grin. “Ye-yeah, ok.”

He watches, eyes zooming in, as the boy walks away. The tight soccer shorts he’s wearing are going to feed Jensens dreams tonight.

As he starts up his car he wonders if maybe going to confession will cleanse him. Maybe drown him in a pool of holy water too, that might help.

He drives, he thinks of tomorrow. The boy next door. Jared.

He’s ascending down the path that leads to him. It’s a crooked path and he knows he’s going to fall.

Chapter Text

“Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”- Matthew 26:41

~~~~~~~~~

There’s a portrait in the hallway. A family portait. The perfect nuclear family; happily married couple with big bright smiles and their two toddler children beaming with joy. It’s picturesque. The kind you’d see in magazine catalogues.

A good Christian family, church every Sunday.

Jared’s stares at the portrait, and Jensen is staring at him. His eyes fixated on this boy that is making Jensen lose his morals, make him question everything. Jensen doesn’t do this, he doesn’t look at guys and most certainly not teenage boys. He’s been trained to know such perverted thoughts are a sin. Homosexuality an eternal damnation.

“You’re so kind, Jensen. Always helping the people out, ain’t ya”, Louise chirps from the kitchen.

“Shall I make up some snacks for you boys, all that hard work’ll make ya hungry”, she adds on, pops into the room, that big bright smile on her face.

Jensen has to draw his attention away from Jared then.

He throws on his best smile, teeth showing. The one that makes the women in this town a little weak, or so he’s been told.

Jensen smiles wide “Yeah, honey. I think me and Jared wouldn’t mind some snacks while we work”.

“That’d be real nice, Mrs Ackles, haven’t eaten since school lunch”, Jared speaks softly, honey boy sweet.

Jensen bites down hard to stop any embarrassment tumble from his mouth.

“Won’t be long, I’ll russell up a little snack or something”, her voice fading as she walks away, leaving Jensen alone with Jared.

The sun is burning bright in the sky, searing heat making Jensen feel even more sweaty than he already would’ve been with Jared right here with him.

“Thanks again Jensen, my mama says I owe you for helping me out so... if ya needin’ any help...” he shyly grins.

“You’re good boy, ain’t ya, Jay“, Jensen swallows thickly, he’s feeling brave.

They get back to fixing Jareds bike, exchanging glances that linger for too long that it makes them smile. Jensen feels younger than his years around the boy, makes him feel carefree and he lavishes in this new feeling.

Louise pops in every now and again. Jensen feels selfish for wishing she would occupy herself with something else so he can reveal more in the attention that Jared’s giving him.

They finish up on the bike early. “Thanks again, Jensen. Glad I can get back to ridin’ my bike, was gettin’ lazy walking everywhere”, he bites his lip as he smiles.

Jensen feels continues feeling brave and pushes on it, “No problem at all... do you have to be home or can you...“

“No-no sir, Jensen, no my folks are out this evening”, Jared rushes out.

“Well Louise is heading out tonight with some friends, I’m looking after the girls, they’ve got an early bedtime so I could sure do with some company. Could order in a pizza maybe?”, Jensen’s feeling nervous, like a school boy nervous.

He shakes the feeling.

“Yeah I’d like that...it’s not a school night so my folks won’t be mad, I’ll let them know now” he turns to get his phone. He’s typing so fast like he feels this opportunity is gonna be taken away, Jensen is lost on this boy.

~~~~~~

Jared plays with Alice and Annie, makes them giggle and shriek with joy when he joins in on their make-believe games. It makes Jensen ache.

It hits 7.30pm “Okay, let’s get you girls to bed yeah, I think Jared’s tired you two out tonight“, he huffs a laugh as he reaches down to pick up both girls, throws a wink to Jared as he walks to the stairs. “Make yourself comfortable Jared, just gonna get them to bed, won’t be long“.

He kisses both girls goodnight, tucks them in tight and makes sure they say their nightly prayer before they sleep.

The prayer before bed is important he tells them, God is always listening. “Night, daddy“, the girls hum in unison.

Jensen turns, starts walking, ascending down towards gangly limbs and honey sweet boy waiting for him.

He’s going to fall and it should scare him but it doesn’t . Not even a little bit.

~~~~~
He watches quietly from the doorway as Jared stretches on the couch, his t-shirt riding up a couple of inches. Jensen zones in on the boy, that little bit of once hidden skin, sinful flesh so soft. Jensen wants to taste, see if he runs sweet all over.

“I see the way you look at me, Mr Ackles... my folks woulda whip me, probably exorcise me if they knew... if they knew how much I like to been seen by you”, he mumbles while fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. He looks up then, locks eyes with Jensen as he watches him stood frozen at the door.

“I’m not gay mister, I don’t think, but I like the way you look at me, it makes me feel g-good.” He continues tugging at his t-shirt.

Jensen wants to fall at his feet. He feels dizzy, doesn’t know how to put words together.

“Do you think we’re going to hell, Mr Ackles? Do you think my soul will be saved, ‘cause I like you and I think you like me too. Do you...like me?”, Eyes still locked onto Jensen.

Jensen can’t feel himself walking, kind of feels like he’s floating, floating towards the boy, floating towards temptation. And he’s going to take a bite.

He sits down next Jared, chest heaving. “Can i touch you Jared, will you be a good boy for me? I wanna feel you” he watches Jared exhale shakily. He brings his hand up to Jareds hair, the chestnut locks, he combs his fingers through it. Wants to tug at it.

“Have you kissed anyone before, Jared? Will you be good and let me kiss you” he breathes over Jareds lips, the little pink lips that taunt Jensen in his dreams. Jared shakes out a no, blushing rosy.

“Just follow my rhythm, ok, I’ll go slow” Jensen whispers, sugar sweet.

“Will you use your tongue...I-I-”, Jensen cuts him off, rubs his thumb over Jareds lower lip.

“Not yet, wanna take it slow with you. It’s your first. I’m gonna make it good for you”, he inches his thumb into the warm wetness of Jareds mouth, tries not think how pretty this boys mouth would look stuffed full with his cock. He pushes that thought back, he doesn’t want to ruin this moment with perverted thoughts.

He gently tugs down on Jareds lower lip with his thumb. Makes Jared open pretty, like a new flower catching the sun for the first time in spring after months of winter.

He brushes his lip against Jareds as he gently closes the inches to press a soft kiss to his lips, moans deep in his throat at the contact. He’s kissed him just once so lightly and Jensen knows he’ll never be able to give this boy up.

He gets one arm across Jareds shoulder pulling him in closer, hand placed on boy-soft face, rubs his thumb round in circles on his cheek.

He goes in hungrier this time, it’s messy, it’s not perfect, Jared is still learning and Jensen wants to devour this boy. He wants to teach him everything and take everything from him too. He’ll lay claim to him if he has too.

Jared breaks off abruptly, whines a sound of embarrassment “oh- g-god m’sorry” and Jensens confused before he follows his eyes down to Jareds crotch, stretching in denim. He’s hard and Jensen beams prideful that he is the reason for it.

“You can touch yourself, Jared. Don’t need to be shy with me. You make me feel the same way to, look...” and he watches as Jareds eyes trail down his body, to see Jensens cock twitch and stick out obscenely in his pants. “That’s all for you Jared”, he presses his forehead against Jareds before pulling him in for another kiss.

They’re making out, Jensen can’t get his head around it. On the couch in his marital home, he’s making out with this boy, the boy that feeds his dreams and walks through his thoughts everyday.

He sighs into the kiss, wants to push his body against Jareds, feel the heat against his body.

He gets pulled from the kiss by Jareds phone vibrating, it’s his mom, saying he should come home and stop bothering Mr Ackles till so late, Jensen listens to every word.

Jared blushes, that rosy pink again “m’sorry, i have to go, my mama...”.

Jensen sighs deep and rests his head against Jareds temple, “you don’t bother me, so you know, not one bit”, he presses a gentle kiss to the edge of Jareds lips, “and I do like you, I shouldn’t, but I do”, he finishes it off with another gentle kiss to Jareds lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~

He lies in bed that night, stares at his wife, the woman he married lawfully under the eyes of god. The woman he vowed to be faithful to. He kissed a boy this evening, his neighbours son, he kissed him on the couch while his two girls were asleep upstairs. He feels it says something about him when he wishes his girls were out too, it’d be less...perverted that way. He doesn’t want to taint them.

He didn’t pray tonight, for forgiveness or strength against his weakness. He doesn’t deserve gods ear, doesn’t particularly want it.

He closes his eyes, his thoughts drift back to Jared, 15 and honey-sweet, he’s Jensens for the ruining.

Chapter Text

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” - John 1:9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Bless me Father, for i have sinned. It has been so long since my last confession...’, Jensens imagines, a cleanse from his sins spoken aloud. A forgiveness from Father Haynes, words and prayer from the words of God placed on his soul. To repent.

He’s a coward. He knows this. And he turns away from the confession box to find his wife and girls waiting for him at the entrance of church.

It’s sunny, a light breeze bringing that wave of coolness every now and again. Sunday church, the whole town brought together to pray and repent.

Jensen often wonders how many people here have sins to confess, if they hide just as much as he does. If they are all as weak as he is, wants to hope that is true. His shoulders would feel less heavy then.

“Honey, you ok? Looking like you’re somewhere else this morning”, Louise squeezes his arm, a small smile on her lips.

”Yeah, yeah...I’m...”, his vision cuts to Jared, laughing and smiling brightly at the other end of church with a group of boys and girls his own age.

Jensen is lost on him.

“Honey...?”

He blinks hard a few times, trying to refocus. “Sorry, think I might have a little headache coming on”, he smiles politely, shows to rub at his temple a little to enforce the con.

Neighbours are coming up, wanting to engaging in conversation. Louise takes control and makes friendly talks with everyone, showing of the girls and the dresses she chose out for them for this Sunday service. Jensen follows, trails behind, uninterested in mindless gossip but he acts so well you’d never know.

Mr Padalecki comes over then, gently smacks a hand down on Jensens shoulder, it shocks him out of his thoughts.

“Hope my son wasn’t to much’a trouble for you the other night. He’s always eager to learn, so thanks again on my behalf too.”

Jensen stares wide eyed at him. Thoughts dare to enter his mind on how much he wants to agree with the man about his son, agree that Jared is indeed an eager learner, that the boy picked it up quickly when Jensen taught him how to kiss slow and sweet.

He gazes to glimpse at Jared again, stands frozen when he sees the boy staring back at him. The intensity of the gaze makes Jensen feel exposed and shy.
He turns his face down and smiles.

He clears his throat then, afraid of a small whimpering sound escaping, eyes still on the boy “He’s a good boy, Mr Padalecki, a credit to you and your wife. No bother at all”.

Jared walks over then, stands next to Jensen, close enough that their arms brush together. Jensen’s glad he’s got some inner strength ‘cause the temptation to wrap his arm around the boy and pull him in close and nestle his nose in the boy’s shaggy locks is too much.

“That’s our Jared, thanks again , Ackles, and if you need Jared’s help for anything to return the favour you just let us know”, he smiles warmly. “Jared don’t be too long, me and your Ma gotta head to the grocery store, so five minutes then car”. He pats Jensens shoulder agin as he leaves to find his wife.

“After school tomorrow, can I see you, Jared?” He’s staring straight ahead, standing side by side next to Jared. He can’t make eye contact any longer, it feels too intense out in public like this.

“Yes, Mr Ackles, I-I...shall I come ov-...”

“No, I’ll pick you up”

“4pm”

”Southwide Street. Two blocks away from school”

Jensen nods.

The families all start filling out of church . Ready to carry on with their daily suburban grind. Jensen watches it play out. Feels lost in it all.

He turns to smile at his wife and girls, reaches down to pick up Alice while Louise holds on to Annie. “Let’s go”.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you have any homework?”

“No, I’m all caught up.“

Jared smiles as he climbs into the car.

“Gonna go for drive, get some fresh air“, Jensen eyes linger on Jared, watches the boy licks his lips out of nervousness.

Jensen needs to taste, he’s thirsty and Jared is an oasis in his draught.

 

They drive till they’re out of town, a view of greenery, a sea of endless trees. A sense of freedom washes over Jensen. He turns off into a side road leading to fields, a secluded spot. The roads are quiet round here.

He turns off the engine.

“Shall we pray, Jared?”

He locks eyes with him then.

“We’re going to sin, Jared and I’m not going to stop it. If you kiss me, I won’t stop at all. I’m going to have you any chance I get.”

He turns in his seat, unbuckles his seat beat and reaches across to Jared who is panting, little pink mouth parted. He cradles the boys face in his hands.

“I been thinking for a long time about this, I think about doing so many things to you, Jared, if you tell me you want me. You’ll be my boy, yeah?”

He brings Jareds face in closer, breathes warmth over pretty-honey boy lips.

”Tell me you’ll be my boy”.

Jared nods, squirms in his seat with how Jensens words affect him.

”I like you, a lot. I think about you too, when I’m in bed. I-I have to be extra quiet so my folks don’t hear but I touch myself a lot thinking of you. I thought I was disgusting, a freak until... until I started noticing the way you looked at me.”

Jensen growls low in his throat, a sound he never thought possible.

“Can i kiss you again? I wanna make you feel good”, he brushes his lips over Jareds, fists his hand in his hair and brings their lips together.

He feels too lost on this boy, as if the first time he looked at Jared and thought those first few impure thoughts, his soul was already discarded by God to be damned. He had prayed hard every day and every night for strength but Jared would never leave his thoughts.

Jensen wants to indulge in him, feast on his innocence. Make him his.

“I-I don’t know much, I don’t...will you show me”, Jensen has to hold in a moan, this boy is going to kill him, suck him dry.

Jensen will savour in the wasting.

”My boy”, Jensen’s still cradling Jareds face, his thumbs circular round in soothing motions on his cheek, “I’ll show you everything, I promise I’ll make it so good for you”.

He pulls Jared in again, hard and fast, crushes their lips together this time, Jared opens wider and Jensen takes full advantage and dives straight in. Tongue-fucking his mouth till the boy is breathless, it’s wet and messy and it makes Jensen throb.

Jensen mouth feels puffy, and he loves to see that Jared’s little pink mouth is just as red and puffed up as his is.

“Fuck, Jay, tou-touch me, put your hands on me, fuck!“, he stares into those lust blown hazel eyes.

Jared trembles but does exactly as he is told. Places his hands on the heat of Jensens thighs. He grabs onto them, hard enough to bruise and Jensen doesn’t try to hold back a moan this time.

“Fuuuck, Jared“ he gasps wetly into Jareds pliant mouth. “Want you bad, touch me here, see what you do to me”. He grabs a hold of Jareds hand and places it over the thick bulge in his work pants.

“You feel big, so m-much bigger than m-me”.

“Take me out, see how hard you get me. It’s hurts, you gotta make it good for me, been waiting so long, Jay“.

Jensen closes his eyes as he feels Jared move to open his zipper, he grabs gently around the thick hard length and pulls him out. Starts to stroke him agonisingly slow it makes Jensen want to whine low in his throat.

“Fu...”

Before he has time to register Jareds soft hand on his dick, he can feel the peep of a tongue drag over his slit where he’s leaking obscenely.

He watches through half-lided eyes as Jared looks up at him, shakes his hair out of his eyes and makes a show of swallowing down the precum he’s lapping up at the slit of Jensens dick.

“Taste good, better than I dreamt of”, he smiles, he’s cheeks are flushed rosy, before he goes back to kitten licking Jensens dick with the most pornographic slurp noises that no 15 year old boy should know how to make.

“Be gentle with me Jensen, wanna take you in my mouth, but you’re pretty big“.

He hastily pulls up Jareds face and licks into that sinful mouth and tastes himself on the boys tongue.

Jensen wants to take this boy apart.

“You’re gonna kill me, baby. Go on, put me in your mouth, Jay, be a good boy for me“, he strokes his hair again as Jared leans back down and places his parted mouth over the fat head of Jensens dick.

Jared can’t take it all down, he gags and drools saliva all down his chin. Jensen wipes up the mess with his fingers, gently scooping it up and pushing it back to rub along the stretch of Jareds mouth.

“That’s a good boy, Jared. So good”

 

Jensen knows in his soul that he has foresaken the right way. To be the right man. He has gone astray. He knows there is no coming back from this and yet he can’t stop, doesn’t want to.

His flesh was made weak.

Chapter Text

“14 - but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 -Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” - James 1:14-15

~~~~~~~~~~~~

It doesn’t slow down. Jensen gets hungry, hungry for Jared. He feels himself starve when he can’t have him. It all intensifies quickly, and Jensen isn’t ashamed to admit that he wants it all. He steals Jared away whenever he can, drives them out to secluded greenery, drinks Jared down til he’s limp and lifeless.

Jared likes to reach for Jensens zipper and swallow down his dick out of his own initiative now, no prompt from Jensen needed.

Jensen feels proud.

~~~~~~~~~

Jared is breathless beneath him now, lying spread in the backseat of Jensens car. Jensen ruts against him, too eager. Wants it all, wants everything this boy has.

“Jen- I can’t...m’gonna...”

“You gonna come in you pants, Jared. Hmm, you gonna make yourself all dirty for me?” He growls, animalistic, his teeth latched onto Jareds neck, stretched and bared to him for the taking.

He pulls back, watches him. Jared winces at the sting, eyes a little wet. It makes Jensen want to break him apart. He doesn’t know what comes over him any more, doesn’t seem to have any control to these dark feelings surfacing.

“Wanna taste you, Jared. Wanna use my tongue.“ He makes a show of licking his lips.

Jensen likes to give, when his wife lets him, he’ll eat her out til she’s a writhing mess, strung out after multiple orgasms from Jensen tonguing and sucking on her clit till it’s too sensitive. She’s more focused on the girls now, so Jensen doesn’t get to indulge as much in the giving. But it’s ok.

He wants to lick Jared open, taste him, to be swallowed up by this boy.

“That’s for g-girls. I d-don’t have a pu...“ Jared cuts off shyly, squeezing his eyes shut.

Jensen bites his tongue. His wife had been just as unsure at the beginning, that it was an impure act, said she felt dirty and that God would not approve. She soon changed her mind.

“You’ll like it. You said you wanted me to show you everything“, he tugs to open Jareds fly, fingers tucked into the waistband ready to rip the jeans off if he has to.

Jared places his arm over his eyes. Let’s out a little whine that goes straight to Jensens dick.

“M’kay... ju-just... if i don’t like it...”

“You’ll like it. I promise.”

He smiles, the smile that crinkles at his eyes. He presses a chaste kiss to Jareds hip bone, gives it a little lick before pulling the jeans and boxers down in one.

“Relax, baby, just relax. Let me in ok.”

He doesn’t wait for a reply, he’s got Jareds underwear and jeans stuck around the boys ankles, he hefts up the boys legs till he’s nearly bent in half, knobbly knees pressed against his sweaty boy chest, all exposed for Jensen.

Jensen waters at the mouth.

Such a sin. Such a pretty fucking sin. All pink. Tiny and pink. A hole that Jensen will worship.

Jensen blows over the hole, warm breath, watches it flutter, clenching on nothing but air. It’s not used to this attention.

Jared whimpers high.

Jensen spreads him, rubs his face in between silky soft boy cheeks. It radiates Jared, and he wants to bury himself in the scent of him.

He’s salivating. He kisses the rim, kisses it soft and sweet. Big plush lips softening the muscle. He begins to lick, slow and delicate, little licks. It makes Jareds body twitch and twitch till the boy looks like he’s having a seizure.

“Oh-oh g-god...what...”

“That’s it, Jay, being so good for me.“

He spits, watches it pool on the tiny hole, just pooling there before Jensen dives in with his tongue. He’s tongue-fucking Jared’s hole now, opening it up, he wants to get his tongue deep in there, taste all the pink. His fingers stretch the hole just a little so his tongue can breach the virgin muscle.

He’s eyes roll back into his head when he tastes Jared. Moans loud and hungry into his hole.

”Je-Jensen...m’gonna come...I-I can’t stop I-”

He shoots creamy white over his chest, it hits his face too, makes Jared eyes fly open and lock onto Jensens, his body twitches. He looks like a wounded animal, a beautiful wounded animal with those noises he makes.

Jensen fumbles quick to get to his dick, grabs a hold and jerks it hard and fast, almost violent, groaning Jareds name as he shoots his thick load over Jared’s little ass cheeks.

“Oh, fuck! Fuck, Jared, so good for me.”

Jensen leans over to reach Jareds face, bending him even more in half, his own feet practically at his face, his ass in the air sticky and wet.

Jensen kisses him. Brutally, hard and wet.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Honey, that you?”

Louise strolls down into the hallway, bemused look on her face.

“Sorry, just running a bit late with work. Couple’a calls kept me behind.”

Jensen feels his body heat up. Sees the cross plastered to the wall, can feel the eyes of Jesus on him. He looks away.

She comes up to kiss him then, “oh, hon, always working hard. Go take a shower, dinner should be ready soon.” She pecks him on the lips.

Her lips are pressed against his lips. His lips. The lips that just a few hours ago were sucking and pressing honey-suckle kisses to their neighbours son virgin hole.

Jensen chokes on a cough.

“Jensen, come on, the girls wanna see their daddy. Jump in the shower, we’ll be waiting for you.”

He watches her walk down to the kitchen, he can hear the sounds of his girls playing. He turns his gaze back to the cross, back to the eyes of Jesus.

“Forgive me.”

 

He showers quick. He jerks off to Jared. As the hot water “cleans him” he wraps his hand around his dick, it’s aching inside him again, the need. He closes his eyes, leans against shower tiles as he builds up his release. Thinks of pretty boy pink, his lips, his hole.

 

He takes a seat at the dinning table, listens as his girls are both vying for his attention. He adores them. He wants them to grow up to be good women, pure women.

He plays with them, helps bathe them and gets them ready for bed. Kneels down with them as they say their nightly prayer. He’s a good dad, he doesn’t doubt that.

“You’re always gonna be their favourite, Jen. They adore their daddy“, Louise stands to his side as he closes the door over a little as the girls fall asleep.

“They love you just the same.“ he turns to smile, kisses her on the cheek. It’s ok now, he’s clean.

“Sometimes I don’t know how I got so lucky“, she smiles, gaze still locked on the girls sleeping.

“Me too“, he whispers low.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“They say if you partake in sexual relations before marriage that the devil will harvest your soul for all eternity unless you repent“, Jareds gasping, tugging on Jensens hair.

“Do you think my soul is safe? I’m not a bad person“, he whimpers, Jensen is sucking hard at his puffy little nipples.

He pops off, nipple fat and swollen.

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to you, I promise“, Jensen goes back to sucking hard, wants to see how red and sore he can make Jareds nipples.

Just like being eaten out, Jared wasn’t sure about Jensen playing with his nipples. “That’s weird, m’not a girl“, he had said, now as he’s stroking his dick, angry red at the head, he’s shyly loving it. Jared’s got sensitive nipples wired straight to his dick, Jensen is in heaven with this boy.

“Mmm’kay....oh cr-“, his cum shoots high, hits Jensen on his puffed up lips.

Jensen makes Jared lick the cum from his lips before Jared gets ready to swallow Jensens offering.

“That’s my boy“, fingers stroking silky chestnut-brown tresses.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jensen pours himself his weekly whiskey, two ice cubes. Curls on the sofa with Louise.

There’s a documentary on tv, about predators and their prey. Animals, insects...people too. How the predators stalk out their prey. Charm them sometimes, to get what they want. They can feast for hours, maybe days.

Jensen downs his whiskey. Changes the channel.

“Woe to the deer who is courted by the charismatic wolf, or to the fly who is not immune to the sweet, sultry songs of the spider.“ - Bleeds My Desire, Nenia Campbell