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We were always going to end up here

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“Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” - Hebrews 13:4

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Jensen’s a good man. Never had a bad word said against him. The town loves him, from kids to the elderly. They’re charmed by his all-American looks, his family values. That smile. You see, Jensen is a reserved guy, not shy are all bit definitely not the all-in-your-face type of guy, never has been.

He enjoys the occasional drink, single malt whiskey over the weekend, 2 cubes of ice. Never pushes his limit.

Keeps him self in shape, likes to be healthy. Goes for a run every morning at 6.30am. Life is good. Yes, life is good...

He’s married, happily, coming up to 12 years. Louise is her name, sandy blonde hair, just pass her shoulders and the bluest eyes. They had met in the final year of college, University of Virginia, both majoring in Business. Fell in love, married young and never looked back. His 2 little girls he adores. May you strike him down and rip his soul to shreds before you say that he doesn’t put his girls first. Alice and Annie, jewels, the most angelic and most beautiful.

He owns a local business in town. Car rental. Makes good money, comfortable life . So yep, he’s doing good. He has all he needs and all he wants.

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It’s a sunny day in this suburban town. Sun is high in the sky, beaming down on the neighbourhood. It’s idyllic, pleasing and picturesque.

It’s a Sunday morning, and living in Smithtown, if you ain’t at church on a Sunday morning then shall your soul be cursed and damned to hell.

“Louise, babe, you ready?”, he’s waiting on the front lawn, eyes narrowing on the green lawn. He’ll put the sprinklers on later, freshen the grass a little, he thinks.

“Just two minutes, honey! Fixing up Annies hair” she shouts from the hallway.

He smiles to himself, if he had a nickel for all the times he has been kept waiting while the girls finish fixing themselves up, he’s pretty sure his pocket would feel slightly heavier to say the least.

He strolls down to the car, whistles a nameless tune when he hears that voice...

“Come on, Mama we gon’ be late”, that voice, from that boy. It’s stirs something deep in Jensen, something he doesn’t understand.

“Relax JT, we got time, you keeping stressing an’ you’ll lose ya hair ‘fore ya 25” comes the voice of Mrs Padalecki, she huffs out a laugh and shakes her head.

She walks down to their car, locks eyes with Jensen and twiddles her fingers in a wave “Morning Jensen! Be seein’ you at church”, she throws a cheery smile and goes back to facing the car. He jostles a wave back and a nod of the head.

Mr Padalecki follows after that, greeting Jensen and again confirming that he’ll see him in church. Jensens mid nod as his eyes flicker, from the corner, out last comes their son... Jared. Jensen feels nervous all of a sudden, doesn’t know what to do with his hands so he fiddles with his car keys.

He can’t tell you where it started, he doesn’t really know himself. If he thinks back, he realises he started paying more attention over the last year since the boy hit 15 and this feeling inside started gnawing at him. This boy next door must be some sorta warlock, put Jensen in spell ‘cause Jensens a good man and good men don’t think like this.

Jared’s dressed in his church suit, light grey, almost tailored to fit perfectly on his frame. Almost. This boy is continuously growing. Nearly eye level with Jensen. He bets, give a couple of years, and Jared will shoot up past him. The thought makes him tug on his bottom lip.

“Mornin’ Mr Ackles” he chirps, dimples big enough for Jensen to drown in, the boy smiles so wide that it tugs at Jensen, that feeling inside again, it makes him inhale sharply.

He steadies himself, “Good morning, Jared”, he smiles at the boy “I’ll be seein’ you” he calls as the boy is jogging to get to the car, chestnut brown hair bouncing in and out of his eyes as runs. Jensen feels as though someone has pressed some sort of slow-motion button in these few seconds, as Jared slowly turns his head with a smile, hint of pink tongue peeking to dart wetly over his lips “oh yes sir!“.

Jensen is damned.

He is snapped out of his thoughts by his little girls, “daddy!”, Alice comes running, and Jensen reaches down to grab her and hike her up to his chest, “we ready my princess”, glances to the side as the Padalecki car drifts down the road.

“Sorry honey, we’re good to go”, Louise comes with Annie hitched on her hip, she reaches to peck a kiss at Jensens cheek, breathless from getting the girls ready.

Jensen smiles absently.

Ready for church. Ready to be saved.

They drive on up to the entrance of church, Jensen zones in on looking for a space, wishes they’d got here a little earlier. Sunday’s are always the worst for parking. “Honey, I’ll take the girls out here near the entrance and you can look for a space. Be at the gates for you” she pecks a kiss to his check again, “okay, see you girls in a bit. Be good for your mama ok ” he smiles as both girls nod and harmonise a ”yes, daddy ”, gives them a wink as he drives off to find a free spot.

He counts himself lucky as he spots a space a minute up the road, parks under the shade, covered by an enormous tree, with the greens leaves battling against the lightest breeze.

He locks the car and starts waking back up to the entrance, caught off guard by a bump to his shoulders. Turns his face to see him, that face, that smile. He has to bite the inside of his cheek ‘cause his sure he could feel some odd whimper trying to creep up his throat.

“Busy this mornin’ ain’t it Mr Ackles” and there it is again, that tongue peeping past his lips. Jensen doesn’t know where to look, starts fumbling with his hands in pocket. “Mr Ackles, you ok sir?” Oh Jesus Christ, he’s gotta be doing on purpose right. Jensen gets flustered, throws out a few little coughs to get his concentration back. “Yeah, Jared I’m good. Just not too bright this morning is all” he feigns a smile, while his mind is still stuck on Jared pink mouth. Oh Jesus, he thinks, again. He needs to see his wife and girls and then he’ll feel right.

“I’m sure church will make you feel better sir, mama says church and prayers is the cure for all your troubles” he huffs a laugh with a show of him rolling his eyes a little. Jensen feels weak.

Jared waves off as he chases back up to his folks and Jensen feels like he’s walking aimlessly. “There you are, what did you park on the other side of the town, Jensen, honey?” she teases as she pats his arm. He hums a laugh “let’s go get seated yeah” as he reaches his hands to join with the girls as they walk in.

He stares at Jesus on the cross, stares through the service. Keeps his focus straight, no matter how much he wants to turn his head to the left and look, look at that boy, that boy who is slowly breaking Jensen up inside.

He prays, prays for what is wrong with him, prays to be saved.