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Insanity

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Dipper sighed, putting down his journal flopping onto his bed. He put his hand over his eyes, covering his brown iris' from the bright sunlight stretching across his room from the window. He groaned as he touched the left of his rib cage, feeling the stinging scar beneath the bandage that had formed there.

Dipper, like every other day, was bullied at school. It was the closing day, he was about to run off and forget about the school, but he had gotten hindered. One of his bullies, his name was Peter something, had brought a gang with him. MAson had quite the fun walking home covered in bruises.

He had gotten home limping, his body covered in his ruby liquid. Although like you might have expected, his family didn't really help him. They had only glared at him for being vulnerable and an idiot, for being preyed on by his superiors in general. Dipper had a feeling they might even have thought he deserved it for being who he was. Je didn't have an actual description in his house, but he was often referred to as the "useless one," or the "freakish twin,".

He had forcefully walked into his bathroom, fixing himself up as good as he could with his limited tools. After only 15 minutes he was forced to turn back to his countless duties once again.

Sunlight clung to the dusty walls of Mason's bedroom. The brunet's face scrunched up in pain when he sat up from his position in his bunk, his back still sore from all the things that he had been forced to do.

He exhaled aggressively, tired of his usual depressing evenings. He opened his eyes and looked around his half-busted bed, catching sight of his book of literal suffering. The brunet smiled weakly at the book, the only thing that had ever listened to him. He retrieved his leather diary on the floor slowly, leaning over despite his body's protests.

He stared at it blankly, hopelessly waiting for something to happen. Anything to distract him.

He had gone to the doctor last night, begrudgingly- may I add. Mabel was actually the one that was supposed to go; she finally got her braces off and had a minor checkup. However, the damn doctor had insisted on a checkup on the "boy" as he had said it, which his parents immediately declined, not wanting anything to foil their reputation, not because of him.

unfortunately, against everyone's excuses, the doctor started to get skeptical, why wouldn't they let the boy have a checkup, especially if it was for free? At this point, the Pines had no choice but to let it happen. So it did.

The doctor had checked upon his body, asking how he felt on a daily basis, how he was treated by family and friends, and how he wanted to be treated individually on a daily basis. He had lied mostly through it, of course. Avoiding the glowers from his parents sitting in the seats in front of him was harder than it seemed, so he was eventually driven to the point where he lied about how his life was unquestionably flawless.

"Well, I gotta say I have some bad news," He had said with furrowed eyebrows, looking at his client's birth parents. He seemed to have grazed Dippers lies a bit and through that come to a conclusion.

"He's perfectly healthy mentally. No problems there, he's most likely the most polite and well-behaved teen boy I've met in all my years here! However, his physical health could improve greatly. He seems to sleep badly and has a lot of bruises and wounds. And I can't hope to assume even you could deny that he's crucially thin. Can I please get an explanation for that?"

"Oh! I'm happy to hear that! Well you see, normal teenage problems. He eats really little because he wants to look cool, y'know?-" She tittered fraudulently, but it got by. "-And he goes to a lot of more violent activities, like his karate and football."

Dipper's world had shattered completely then, not that it already hadn't done that before, but it just got worse. Worse as in unfixable-shattered. He couldn't even express how hard it was to smile and laugh it off, and not cry in front of the doctor that everything he said was a lie, he didn't go to any activities after school, his mentality wasn't flawless, he didn't care about what he looked like- he just wanted to be happy!

His family spat on him as a disgrace since then, not liking that he almost destroyed all they worked for. They knew very well how fucked up Dipper was because of them. In all truth, Dipper wasn't necessarily sure what brought upon the abuse, did they just generally need stress relief, in some odd way, and had decided he was a perfect choice?

He shifted to his side slightly painfully, now having the urge to bawl out his eyes in order to express all his pain.

But what was the point?

Him crying, him hurting himself, killing himself, nothing would make it better. No matter the amount of pain he felt, it would never be enough to satisfy people enough to gain the smallest piece of happiness.

Sometimes he would spend hours just thinking about it. Was his family in the wrong, or was he? Were they bad, or was he? He didn't know anything anymore, he was unsure which side of the shadow he was on- everything had become so blurry and fuzzy the past few years. He couldn't seem to be able to just make up his mind- what did he truly want?

His family's happiness? Or their demise? His happiness from his family? Or his happiness from their misery?

He felt how his tears slowly disappeared, the aching in his chest gone. He laid there motionless, nothing getting a reaction out of him. His mouth in a straight line, smooth cheeks with fading bruises slightly wet from previous tears. Only a blank expression as he removed his arm from his dull eyes.

What was the point anymore?

The teen yawned as he rose out from his bed, blinded by the bright lights craving attention from the outside world. He wasn't sure what woke him up, it wasn't his nightmares again since he already woke up from them just a while ago, and they tended to only come once each night. It felt as if he had sensed something was going to happen.

"Wake up!" A horse voice screeched through his door, the owner of the voice banged on the door furiously. Mason blinked at his muddles bed sheets for a few seconds, confused and his mind feeling like cotton candy from sleep. The man seemed to be gasping for a few seconds before grunting loudly and turning around with a heavy step, then ascending down the stairs with loud thudding footsteps.

Father.

He frowned unhappily, eyes dry with growing fear, but in spite of his alarms going off in his head telling him not to go, he stood up, with pain spreading through his ribs down to his abdominal region, and opened his damaged door to go to the first floor.

He took slow and painful steps down the wooden staircase, his mind spinning as he felt dizzyness flood his mind, his vision blurring and clearing repeatedly. It really didn't help his headache. Lack of sleep and nourishment- and with all his injuries, it wasn't a surprise that he was immediately giddy when walking.

"Mason! Come here this instant!" His beautiful yet cruel mother shouted when her gaze locked onto her son. Spite was definite in her voice, she didn't want him there, clearly, but had to tell him something despite it.

"Yes?" He mumbled, not daring to sit down with them at the dinner table, so he stood at the end of the table, looking at the floor, cringing silently.

"You and your sister are going to Gravity Falls, your great uncles came back from their sailing-trip and wants to see their niece. You better stay out of trouble, the slightest move that goes in the wrong direction, and you're getting the Punishment again. Mabel is too enjoy every second of this, so you will do anything she says and give her anything she wants. No 'no' or 'but' only 'yes' and 'okay'. Is that clear, darling?" The threat was brought with a scornful smile and a hostile glare from his mother.

Dipper felt slight happiness and relief bubble up in his throat. He was going back! There was a whole mountain scape there and a large lush forest! And all his creature friends would be there to see him again! And then all the mysteries that could happen all the possibilities- he could finally be happy-

"Okay," He said quietly, but loud enough to be audible. His mother and father nodded with evident disdain. As soon as they shooed him off, they commenced 'Gently cheering for Mabel and telling her all the news in a kind way with no accusing and no threats.'

Once Dipper reached his beaten room, Dipper was gladly filling his old bag with random old stuff of his, bringing a few ballpoint pens he had bought in secret with his own money (he had found it on the street) and of course, bringing his beloved journal. The book had been created with old stuff he found in the attic, hence him not having money to buy one.

"Let's go, Honey!" He heard his mom's cheery voice say, obviously indicating to Mabel, She responded happily with something along with the line of "Coming, mom~!" but the young adult didn't pay attention to that when he realized something. He heard a car door closing. Then there was a car starting up.

Wait-

Were they leaving without him-!?

Dipper rushed down the stairs, his bones aching in pain as he did so. With a few painful gasps, he scrambled outside of the building and eyes the bright red car moving out of the garage. They were actually leaving.

Dipper rushed to the car, barely in time before his parents had started to drive and were about to leave for the bus station. Did they actually forget him?!

"You came," Father said bluntly, disappointment audible in his voice. It was obvious they did this on purpose then. They had actually planned on leaving him here, Mother and Father were supposed to go to a hotel for a month! Were they just going to leave him there to starve?

Dipper slightly growled at that, mostly out of disappointment in how his happy moment was so easily shattered. He hopped into the car, sitting at the back with all the bags, no, not in the genuine back seats, in the actual back. He uncomfortably tried to sit down in an empty spot and put his bag next to him whilst trying his very best at not tumbling over while they drove.

They had reached the bus station and Mabel was sorrowfully saying goodbye to her mother and father while hugging them deeply. She was making a bit of a scene, earning a few warm looks from other people on the street.

"I'll see you when summer's over!!" She yelled happily and headed, skipping, Dipper smiling throughout it.

They walked some distance from each other, but still stood close, much to Dipper's displeasure. Mabel treated Dipper horribly but still used him as a shield for some unknown reason. Honestly, if a gang jumped Mabel he would tell them to do what they want and walk away- he could care less about what happened to his twin, he attempted to assure himself- not admitting to the fact he, in some twisted way, still cared for his sister.

After a while of endless waiting and Mabel overreacting over how long it took, the bus to Gravity Falls arrived, and the two hopped on, one pushing the other twin so he almost fell, and eventually taking seats on opposite sides of the bus. It was completely empty, no one actually went to Gravity Falls as long as it was so well hidden.

Dipper sighed as he put his small, brown bag next to him in another seat. "At least it'll be better here than California." He said gladly, now slightly smiling, it was small, but it was there. He was going to see his actual friends, the ones who didn't hate him and actually liked hanging out with him. He was going to see gruncle Ford again and gruncle Stan- Stanley. How was he supposed to feel about the man, really? The man had always favored Mabel so would he really like Dipper any better than before?

Other than that, all the thrilling things about the forest, the creatures, the forest itself, the landscape- everything was there, waiting for him. Then Dipper remembered something and pursed his lips.

Bill Cipher.

His statue was still there, as it could not be moved or touched, at least hopefully. But it- he was still on the cliffside in the forest, frozen in time, reaching out his palm in hope for a deal to save his life.

The chocolate haired teen felt a sting of undesired guilt. Bill had been so lonely and broken and it all led to his crippling insanity, and he had looked so thoroughly scared when being turned to stone, even for being a demon Bill couldn't have deserved that fate. It's as if Bill wasn't what people saw him as, almost. People said he was some disgusting, insane demon deserving of death, but had anyone actually gotten to know him? Had anyone actually talked to him instead of making assumptions based on the word of an aged man?

Dipper suddenly realized where his mind was and shook his thoughts off, he can't have sympathy for Bill! The guy is a demon that tried to-.... to... He.....-He- Er- Tried to hurt him?-or- He tried to- or not really-

Mason frowned and glades at the blue chair in front of him, endeavoring to find any sort of reason he that made Dipper personally hate Cipher.

The demonic being hadn't hurt anyone Dipper loved, he had actually conveniently hurt those that hurt Dipper on a daily basis. The demon even made the town a bit fun at one point, the weirdness bubbles had been hilarious, seeing Pacifica turn into a horse Mabel a fucking fish hadn't been bad. And Weirdmaggedon had actually taught all of Gravity Falls what gratefulness was. Since last summer, he remembered how no greed had shown up around the townsfolk, everyone understood how lucky they were just being alive in Gravity Falls. The triangle hadn't even killed anyone, not even tortured, or maybe Gideon- but so what?

Bill had actually created a good aftermath.

If someone asked if Dipper hated him, you'd easily say that it's 'Because Bill hurt his friends and family!' But you see, they never were his friends and family. Wendy had broken his heart in a way without remorse- just straight up telling him that she didn't like him and left him in the caves- then she had simply abandoned him in the bubble to do teen shit with her friends. Soos. Soos was always a good guy, but he wasn't smart, he wasn't aware, he didn't understand and often made everything worse and like Wendy, left him in the bubble. Mabel? Mabel just- she- she was just something Dipper wanted to de-skin and burn alive.

Pacifica? Robbie? The Northwest? Well, you'd know all about the things they did. Same with them like Mabel- flay and burn alive.

"Gravity Falls," A bored voice announced, it was the bus driver. Dipper broke out of his chain of thought and looked around puzzled for a bit until recognizing where he was from the view the windows granted him.

There they were, in the small town of Gravity Falls.

Mabel stood up with a snap of her back, jumping with excitement before rushing to the doors. She earned a grunt from Dipper, who had fallen over onto the floor due to being tripped by a certain someone.

"Mabel! It's been almost five years since I've seen you!" Someone yelled, a hoarse voice filled with happiness and longing, the voice belonged to a male, presumably of old age. Stanley Pines.

"Gruncle Stan!! I missed you!" She yelled in happiness, skipping out the door and falling into his arms, giving him a tight hug which was happily returned.

"Well, I'm leaving," The bus driver said with a shrug, then kicked started the bus again, now about to drive through the forest back to California.

"Wait-no- I need to get off-" Dipper spluttered, producing his signature voice cracks and speeding to the door.

"Then get off!" The driver shrieked, now vigorously stopping and opening the bus doors, seeming to be putting effort into waiting. Dipper scrambled up from the bus floor, now rushing out the vehicle.

The bus driver closed the doors as soon as Dipper's last foot left the floor, almost trapping Dipper in between the doors, but luckily the poor boy jumped to the ground in time. The bus quickly sped off the road, leaving Dipper's sight within moments - wait weren't there speed limits-?

Mason shook his head and chuckled lightly, amused that some things were still the same. The brunet looked around for a second, searching for the familiar faces of his relatives, but to no results.

Mason studied his surroundings shakily, the bus stop was empty. He stood up and swiftly turned around to look at all the different paths. He was the only one there. No old great-uncles, no twin sister. Nobody.

They had left.

The Pines twin felt tears prickle at his eyes, but he left them like that. What was the point of crying? So instead he got up weakly, now dragging himself through the quiet forest path, making his way to the parking lot where he knew (hoped) his gruncle had parked his car.

The teen with chocolate brown hair inhaled deeply and then exhaled it harshly. He was trying to let out his anger through deep breathes as he was utterly dreading his family now. He wanted to scream and cry at the same time.

They had driven away without him! They knew that the bus station was on the other side of Gravity Falls from the perspective of the Shack- His whole family knew that walking would take close to three hours, even if you jogged-more than an hour even if you run! And that's precisely what they left Dipper at the parking lot to experience.

What made him even angriest, though, is that when he'd reached the parking lot and seen the car just drive right past him with no remorse, was how Wendy had turned around, seen him, (She was in the car too) and had acknowledged Dipper, but then suddenly pretended she hadn't. Weren't they somewhat friends, at least? Why would she do that?

So he had had to walk home the whole way. It was late evening now. He'd been outside with a dead phone, completely alone, walking home.

During his walk, Mason felt how anger and sadness scratched at his mind. Depression was slowly pushing past his limits. An exhausting walk in the dark and looming town to a place he started to dread more and more by the second was pushing on the edge.

He cried out weakly, feeling his legs ache as he kept walking through the dense forest, he had still not reached the rotten woodhouse. His body wasn't accepting the sudden hiking trip the littlest bit.

The brown-eyed teen felt vexation bubble in his stomach, did he deserve this? What had he done? What happened? Why was his life like this? Why was their existence so useless? He felt like running away into the abyss of a forest, leaving into the mountains and staying there, until his age forced him to go to the death's door.

His feet dragged him across the grassy turf, aching with pain, praying for him to just stop. Just sleep- sleep for a long, long time- sleep and not wake up. Though neither did he nor the sleeping citizens notice the trail of burning footsteps of blue fire stretching across Gravity Falls.

A harsh knocking was heard against the doors of the infamous Mystery Shack. A scream erupted from Mabel Pines that had been interrupted in her speech, and an annoyed Stanford to grudgingly walk to the door.

"Who is it-" Ford was about to complain, his voice exhausted and very frustrated at the sudden outburst at the door. He really wasn't in the mood and was in the middle of talking to his niece, so he really didn't need any intrusions- besides it was about 9 pm- no costumers arrived at this time.

"Ford opened the door to a glare, an exhausted, angered, sad and incredibly inraged glare latched onto Ford as the drained teen steeped into the building.

Stan stood up from the Dinner table, a cup of coffee in hand, looking as if he had seen a ghost- well technically in Gravity Falls that's common- looking like he'd seen nothing worse than his nightmares.

"k-kid-" He started, now slowly walking around the table, his face looking slightly guilty and regretful, but a bit of fear was scribbled alongside it. MAson could care less if Mabel had told him he had deserved it or something, there was no point in even trying to forgive the older man.

"I'm going to bed," Dipper whispered raspily, voice drenched in exhaustion, holding his forehead tightly as dizziness overwhelmed him as he heavily walked up the stairs, his bag now feeling like he was carrying a lion with him. What was happening?

"Wait- you're-" Stan tried to stop him, now looking genuinely worried as he looked at something Dipper yet hadn't noticed. But the brunet simply didn't hear him.

As he got closer and closer to the attic, he felt as if he would faint from exhaustion. He had eaten two days ago last, and his parents hadn't paid any more attention to him than usual, so no food was packed into his bag during the trip. And the water wasn't something he remembered or got freely, they usually told him to work for it, eventually, his hydration dropped drastically.

So walking so far from the bus station all the way back to what people somehow called a house, with two days of no food and barely any water, wasn't the most pleasant thing to experience. A wave of nausea washed over him, making him gasp.

His steps got sloppier and more exposed to a fall as he opened the door to, what was only his bedroom now, and in some way managed to forcefully walk inside and lock the door after himself. He was panting harshly, his throat clogged by lack of water and so, so much sorrow.

He fell to his knees, sliding down the door slowly as he clutched his chest, it was aching. He was breathing heavily as he sunk further to the floor if possible.

He felt his breath hitch as he touched the scar on his bandaged rib, blood stained his fingers. His pupils dilated when he looked down at his blood-soaked shirt, the left side of his tee-shirt was covered in the red substance. How did he not notice this before?

As soon as he acknowledged the pain, he started feeling an increasing sting.

He flinched as pain erupted at the wound, now making tears pile up at his eyes. He held onto the bleeding gash, the bandage was no use now. He looked down to see all the bloodstains on the floor and door, a large part of the white wall next to him was covered in his blood, making him almost gag at seeing it. It must have happened when he slid down the door.

He whimpered as the pain got worse, stretching further through his internal organs, it started getting unbearable. How had he gotten into this mess? It hurt so damn much, it was slowly stretching along his body, making his bones shake with the pain. He was pretty sure he must've broken a rib if this was happening.

Dipper didn't know what to do, he couldn't stand, he couldn't even talk, it just hurt to that degree. Dipper wasn't a fool, he knew he was scrawny and weak. His question didn't get an answer either way as he blacked out, darkness flooding his sight and mind as he collapsed where he stood.