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one nocturnal son of a gun

Chapter Text

"Wake up."

Hoseok nuzzles further into his pillow and pretends he can't hear a thing. He doesn't get away with it for long, though, because Yoongi's palm comes down hard on Hoseok's shoulder, a ringing slap that has Hoseok hissing a pained breath through his teeth, and he can't keep up the act anymore. Dick.

"Wake up," Yoongi repeats. When Hoseok turns his head to blink blearily up at him, he's got his dreadful sulky face on, which is even harder to resist when Yoongi's so ill. His hair is a mess, eyes bloodshot and his eye bags have carry-ons; used tissues litter his side of the bed, cordoned off with a selection of pillows and cushions from the couch.

"What the hell do you want that can't wait until the sun's up," Hoseok rasps.

"I'm hungry," Yoongi answers, settling back against his pillows, and at that, Hoseok pushes up onto hands and knees with a groan. It's been at least a day since Yoongi last was awake and felt well enough to eat, and Hoseok isn't about to let him starve.

Even if it is ass o'clock, he thinks wryly, sitting back on his heels. He bites back a yawn. "Porridge okay?" he asks, reaching over the barricade to press the back of his hand to Yoongi's forehead. His skin is still over-warm, but the fever seems to be fading. Yoongi's eyes flutter closed as Hoseok combs his fingers through his hair, sweat-damp and sticking up at odd angles. "Hey, Yoongi-yah," Hoseok murmurs, hand slipping from Yoongi's hair to cup his cheek. When that merits no response, he pinches.

Yoongi slaps at Hoseok's hand without opening his eyes. "Porridge is fine," he answers. His voice is still hoarse and weak, but Hoseok can't tell how much of that is a ploy for more sympathy. "Don't know if I'll be able to keep it down this time, and your cooking is terrible. Even you can't fuck up porridge." He seems consider that for a moment, then adds, "Probably."

Dick. Hoseok pouts, and he pouts harder when Yoongi doesn't even crack an eyelid to check his reaction. "I'm not that bad."

"Flaming croquettes," Yoongi says.

"Shut up," Hoseok grumbles, and resumes brushing his fingers through Yoongi's hair. Yoongi pushes his head against Hoseok's fingers whenever he pauses for more than a few seconds. "Admit it — once the smoke cleared out, those croquettes were delicious."

"You set the kitchen on fire, man," Yoongi reminded Hoseok. "There was oil everywhere."

Hoseok can admit he's got a point. Still... "You made pancakes with a bit of the plastic mix bag in them," he counters, fingers slipping down to brush hair behind Yoongi's ears. "You served those to my mother."

Yoongi opens his eyes at last and grins at Hoseok lazily. "Oh, yeah," he snickers quietly to himself. "I forgot about that."

"Lucky she was so appalled she started sending us care packages instead of demanding I move back home." Hoseok leans over the barricade to kiss the tip of Yoongi's red nose. "That would've been a tragedy."

Yoongi's fingers curl in the front of Hoseok's shirt and he tilts his chin up. Hoseok indulges him two or three chaste kisses, before pulling back and stumbling to his feet. "Porridge for you," he says, as Yoongi watches him with narrowed eyes, "and tea for me."

"And then more kissing," Yoongi suggests, something almost hopeful creeping into his tone. He must be feeling better, Hoseok thinks happily, backing away from the bed.

"Nah," he says, blowing a kiss from the doorway. "You're going to eat and I'm going back to sleep." Hoseok smiles at Yoongi's indignant grumbling as he goes to the bathroom to wash up. He's about finished brushing his teeth when he sees something big, dark, and fast out the corner of his eye. With a yelp muffled by the toothbrush hanging out his mouth, Hoseok jumps up onto the closed toilet lid. There, scant inches away from where his feet had been, sits the biggest spider he's ever seen indoors.

Heart pounding in his throat, Hoseok considers calling to Yoongi for help but dismisses the idea. Sudden noises might anger this monster and make it attack, he thinks, gripping the edge of the vanity counter for balance. Plus Yoongi's only just starting to feel better, I don't want to risk getting him sicker. Keeping one eye on the menace, Hoseok leans over to spit out his mouthful of toothpaste foam and rinses off his toothbrush. The spider does not move.

Moving as slow as he can, Hoseok grabs the old mug he and Yoongi use to rinse out their mouths after brushing their teeth. He steps down onto the tiled bathroom floor, takes a fortifying breath and lunges, bringing the cup down on top of the spider with a clink, trapping it inside.

Hoseok falls back on his ass and lets out the breath he hadn't noticed that he'd been holding. "Fuck," he says, staring at the cup for a few seconds, half-expecting the spider to escape somehow. Nothing happens, and Hoseok feels a bit silly.

With a reminder to come back and deal with this later, he gets to his feet, washes his hands and heads to the kitchen to make breakfast. Luckily, his mother and their friend Seokjin had both sent care packages within the past few days; all Hoseok really has to do is reheat a portion of the porridge and add in some leftover shredded chicken and ginger.

With the porridge heating, Hoseok turns the kettle on for tea and peeks through the kitchen doorway. Yoongi's sitting up on the bed, busy destroying the pillow quarantine. Hoseok smiles. After a few more minutes, he pours some of the porridge into a bowl with a spoon, makes the tea, and sets everything up on a tray. He returns to bedroom and places the tray down on Yoongi's lap.

"That was fast," Yoongi says, sniffing the porridge distrustfully. "Did you poison it?"

"Shut up and eat, you ungrateful little—"

Yoongi grins and blows on a spoonful of porridge before shoving it into his mouth. "You're so easy sometimes."

Hoseok picks up one of the cups of tea and smiles at Yoongi over the brim. "Only when you wake me up at four in the morning, honey." He watches Yoongi eat for a few moments, before settling back against the headboard with his tea. "How're you feeling?" he asks, as Yoongi scrapes the bottom of the bowl with his spoon.

Yoongi hums in reply, setting the tray down on the floor beside the bed. His arm slips around Hoseok's waist as he sits back up, pulling them closer together in the middle of the bed. "M'better now," he mumbles, pressing his forehead against the side of Hoseok's neck.

Hoseok cards his fingers through Yoongi's hair and sets his empty teacup on the bedside table. "You good to go back to sleep?" he asks in a low voice, and presses a kiss to the top of Yoongi's head.

Yoongi nods, smothers a yawn into Hoseok's shirt as his head dips towards Hoseok's chest. "Yeah," he sighs. "But you owe me those kisses when I wake up."

It's half-past noon by the time Hoseok rolls out of bed. He stumbles towards the bathroom with a sleepy Yoongi clinging to the back of his shirt. While Yoongi showers, Hoseok throws together some bibimbap from leftovers and gets dressed. After Yoongi's done in the shower and dressed, they stand side by side brushing their teeth at the sink. Hoseok leans over to rinse his mouth straight from the faucet when Yoongi notices the mug on the floor.

"The fuck is that doing there?" he asks.

He's already bending down to pick it up when Hoseok remembers and says, "Oh, shit, wait—"

The spider makes a beeline for Hoseok, who hops in the bathtub for safety. Yoongi backs up to stand in front of Hoseok, mug still in hand. "What the fuck," Yoongi says. "That thing is huge."

"Shit, really?" Hoseok demands, grabbing the back of Yoongi's shirt and peering over his shoulder at the monster. It's still coming for him. "Wow, I didn't notice, seriously." His grip tightens in Yoongi's t-shirt. "C-can you just catch it again? Please? It wants to eat me, I can tell—"

Yoongi snorts, but steps forward. Hoseok covers his face with his hands, but peers between his fingers as Yoongi places the mug down over the spider, like it's nothing. "Who the fuck just leaves a mug sitting in the middle of the floor," Yoongi grouses, as he stands and walks out of the room.

"Who the fuck picks up an obvious spider trap, Yoongi," Hoseok raises his voice sharply to reply. He frowns at the mug on the floor, and at Yoongi as he returns. "I caught it this morning, aren't you proud of me?"

"Sure I am," Yoongi says, crouching down to slide the mug onto a piece of paper, "you did good, Hoseok." He picks paper and mug up then, and leaves the room. Hoseok watches Yoongi go, then steps out of the bathtub to follow him out. They both slip on their shoes and leave the apartment.

"Where're you gonna put it?" Hoseok asks, as they walk down the stairs. Yoongi only shrugs in reply.

Hoseok pushes open the back door when they reach it, and they step out onto the small balcony that leads down into an alley. He holds the door open (because neither of them thought to grab their keys), and looks around for a suitable spider home, but all he can see is dirty concrete and full trash bins. Not appealing. He opens his mouth to say so, when he notices Yoongi's trotted down the stairs and is already halfway to the street corner. Hoseok swears at him, and Yoongi shoots him a grin over his shoulder as he rounds the corner.

Though he flirts with the idea of locking Yoongi out, Hoseok just leans against the doorframe to wait. A few minutes later, Yoongi comes back, mug and card held in separate hands. "My hero," Hoseok says, as Yoongi comes up the steps towards him. "Where'd you put it?" he asks again.

"The building across the street has a little garden that looked homey," Yoongi answers, slipping past Hoseok and back inside. "C'mon," he says, tilting his head towards the stairs. "I think you owe me something." Hoseok smiles and follows.

Yoongi leads the way up the stairs, and punches their door code into the lock when they get back to their apartment. Once inside, Yoongi grabs hold of Hoseok and pulls their bodies flush. His free hand slides up to Hoseok's nape to press their mouths together, once, quick, and then again, lingering.

Hoseok parts his lips almost immediately, sweeping his tongue over Yoongi's lip, and then nips at him, tongue smoothing over to soothe the sting. He smiles, and his smile only widens at the hitch in Yoongi's breath. One of his hands clenches the back of Yoongi's t-shirt and he tilts his head, catches Yoongi's earlobe between his teeth, tongue sliding over the piercings there. "Bed," he breathes, and grins when Yoongi shivers.

"Alright, alright," Yoongi says, pulling back reluctantly. He grabs hold of Hoseok's shirt and tows him toward the bedroom. When he reaches the bed, he sprawls out on his back on the mattress, eyes half-lidded and tongue sweeping across his lower lip as Hoseok brackets his hips with his knees. Hoseok leans forward to tuck a chuckle against Yoongi's throat, hands smoothing across whatever bare skin he finds.

"That tickles," Yoongi sighs, fingers curling around Hoseok's shoulders. Hoseok keeps brushing his lips against Yoongi's neck, laughing again when Yoongi starts to squirm. "This isn't what I had in mind for a reward, you know."

"I'm getting to it," Hoseok replies, sitting down across Yoongi's hips to still him and nibbling at the base of his neck. Yoongi huffs a laugh into Hoseok's shoulder, but Hoseok still hears the catch of breath in Yoongi's throat when Hoseok's teeth nip a little harder. Yoongi's fingers tighten around Hoseok's upper arms, nails digging into his skin. "I'm still deciding what I want to do," Hoseok says, laving his tongue over the slight indents left behind from his teeth. "What's equal to a caught spider?"

Yoongi's hands slide to Hoseok's elbows. "Kissing's good," he murmurs, when Hoseok looks up to meet his gaze. He licks his lips again, and Hoseok leans up to suck Yoongi's tongue into his mouth. Yoongi melts into the sheets with a strangled little groan, hands sliding from Hoseok's elbows to slip into the back pockets of his jeans. "Yeah, like that," he breathes when they part, lips spit-slick and already a little swollen.

Hoseok sits back and tugs on the hem of Yoongi's shirt. "Take this off," he says, and pulls his own t-shirt off in one fluid motion. Yoongi struggles first to free his hands from Hoseok's back pockets, then to remove his shirt while still lying down, but somehow manages after a few moments. Hoseok smiles at Yoongi fondly, smoothing Yoongi's damp mussed hair with his fingers.

"Come back here," Yoongi grumbles, pulling Hoseok back down, angling his head to meet Hoseok's mouth. They kiss long and lazy, Yoongi's hands curved over Hoseok's hips, and Hoseok's hand slips down between them to cup Yoongi through his jeans. Yoongi pulls back with another little moan. "Or that works too," he says, spreading his thighs a bit wider and grinding up into Hoseok's hand. His arms slip up to wrap around Hoseok's shoulders, and he presses kisses against Hoseok's throat.

Making short work of the fastenings, Hoseok gets Yoongi's jeans open. "Yeah?" he asks, waits until Yoongi nods before wrapping his hand around Yoongi's dick. Hoseok squeezes him gently at first, testing out angles and feeling him grow hard against his palm.

Yoongi muffles little sighs against Hoseok's neck, fingers tangling in Hoseok's hair and pulling whenever Hoseok pauses. "Hey," he complains, when Hoseok grips him at the base of his cock. "Don't tease—"

Hoseok slips down off the bed before Yoongi can even finish speaking, and wraps his lips around the head of Yoongi's cock in one smooth motion. Yoongi sucks in a noisy little breath and slides his legs even further apart. Hoseok moves down, slow and easy, the velvety hardness of Yoongi's dick pressing against his tongue. His fist, slicked with precome and saliva, strokes and teases as Hoseok slides his lips back up to the tip.

"Shit," Yoongi shifts against the bed and Hoseok looks up at him, touch trailing along the underside of his cock, fingers tight and twisting. He's pushed himself up onto his elbows to watch, and sucks a rattling, desperate breath into his lungs as their eyes meet. Smiling, Hoseok slides his tongue over the head of Yoongi's dick to catch the precome beading there, taking particular delight in the pink flush spreading across Yoongi's skin. "Hoseok," he whispers, breathless, like it's been punched out of him. "Fuck, please—" his fingers curl in Hoseok's hair, and Hoseok takes him in a bit deeper. He swallows, and feels a shudder rustle down Yoongi's spine.

He groans, a quiet low rumbling. Hoseok drags his fingernails down Yoongi's thigh with his free hand, and his hips buck up. Hoseok hums encouragingly, sucks hard and slips his hands under to cup Yoongi's ass and help him to thrust up. "Fuck, okay," Yoongi gasps, grip in Hoseok's hair so tight it almost hurts. "Hoseok, fuck— oh, fuck," he repeats it like mantra. Hoseok moans and sucks harder, just takes it as Yoongi braces his feet against the floor for leverage and fucks into Hoseok's mouth. Hoseok's so hard now it almost hurts.

It doesn't take long, and Hoseok swallows what he can when Yoongi comes, catches what he can't with his hand. He sits back on his heels, staring at the stringy strands that hang between his fingers. After making sure Yoongi's looking, Hoseok licks his skin clean with a little smirk, sucking his fingers into his mouth and pulling them back out with a slick pop.

Yoongi makes a weak, strangled noise in the back of his throat, chest heaving. He sits up to haul Hoseok up by the grip he still has in Hoseok's hair, gets him close enough to kiss that smirk off his face. He chases the taste of his own release from Hoseok's mouth and, "Fuck," he exhales, sitting back just enough to get Hoseok's jeans undone.

He spits into his hand and slips his hand down around Hoseok's cock. Hoseok jerks into the touch, pressing his sweaty forehead to Yoongi's shoulder and gasping for breath. He's already so close that it only takes a few strokes before he's biting off a muffled curse and jerking and twitching and coming all over Yoongi's fist.

"Fuck," Yoongi repeats, with feeling. Hoseok sags against Yoongi's chest and lets his eyes fall closed, boneless and sated. "That was good," Yoongi continues, after a few moments. His clean fingers comb absently through Hoseok's hair, and Hoseok sighs. "I think that's what we should do whenever I catch bugs from now on."

"That's a lot of blowjobs," Hoseok mutters after a moment’s thought, rubbing his jaw contemplatively. He slings his arms around Yoongi's waist and presses a smile into shoulder. "I'll try." He leans back when he registers just how hot Yoongi's skin feels again, his smile fading somewhat. "How are you feeling? That wasn't too much, was it?"

Yoongi flops back and hauls Hoseok up on top of him. "I'm hungry, filthy, and a little tired. I'm fine. Just, ah..." Yoongi hesitates, and Hoseok pushes up onto his elbows. He shifts a bit under Hoseok’s scrutiny, licks his lips. "Maybe don't find anymore spiders for a couple days?" he asks finally, grinning sheepishly.

"Get back in bed," Hoseok says, shrugging out of Yoongi's hold and getting to his feet. "I’ll get you a washcloth and go heat up the last of the porridge Seokjin hyung sent over."

Yoongi hums. "I'll get back in bed if you come with me," he says.

Hoseok shouldn't; he has errands to run that he'd put off to care for Yoongi, and he has to go to work in a few hours... But... Yoongi pouts, almost like he knows why Hoseok's faltering. "Alright," he sighs, giving in. "But only for twenty minutes."

Yoongi grins. "I want bibimbap."

Hoseok frowns. "How did you know I made bibimbap?"

"I could smell it as soon as we came back inside," Yoongi says. "I want bibimbap, give me bibimbap."

(Hoseok ends up calling in sick at work.)