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Healing

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It was raining. Of course it was; how dramatic. The world had no right to look bright, not now. Perhaps not ever again. Shiro's eyes were most definitely swollen: red, puffy. He hadn't wanted the other Paladins to see him like this. He needed to be strong. But he supposed there was no point in pretending anymore. Keith was off-planet. Pidge and Hunk were always busy nowadays and he hadn't even heard from the once bright-eyed Blue Paladin (Red Paladin?) in months. 

So there he stood. At his grave. They didn't even have a body to bury. There hadn't even been time for a funeral. He never said good bye. His eyes burned as more tears overflowed from them, staining his cheeks. He sunk to the ground. The knees of his trousers would be completely ruined, but Shiro didn't care. Adam was dead. He should have been there, he could've stopped it-- somehow. 

The man he'd wanted to marry. The man who'd believed in him more than anyone else. His best friend since he was a teenager. He was just.. gone. It wasn't fair.

He wasn't supposed to outlive him.

"Shiro?" Shiro opened his eyes, turning towards the sound of the voice. There stood an equally puffy-eyed ginger with a particularly spectacular mustache.

"Coran!" He exclaimed softly, attempting to dry his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket to no avail, seeing as the jacket itself was now drenched. 

Coran approached him, smiling kindly. "My dear boy..." He trailed off, glancing at the headstone, "Was he.. important to you?"

Takashi, how important am I to you?

Shiro took a shaky breath. "More than anything in the world."

He felt a gentle hand rest on his upper back, rubbing back and forth in a comforting manner. He appreciated the gesture, but it didn't help him feel any better. "Shiro..."

"I didn't even tell him I loved him. One last time. I was just so angry when I left, I didn't think.." The sentence died there. Shiro didn't have the strength to continue. "This is all my--"

The Altean abruptly grabbed him by the shoulders, making Shiro face him. "Don't even."

"But--"

"It was not your fault. It was Sendak's. You can't blame yourself for things that were out of your control because, trust me, my boy, it will eat you alive." 

Shiro suddenly realised why Coran had been crying earlier. Allura. He glanced at her memorial, not too far from where they were crouched. 

"There are people here who need you, Shiro. Think of Keith. Think of the Paladins. You mean so much to them. It's alright to grieve but eventually..." Coran followed Shiro's gaze, his grip loosening, "We need to let go."