Chapter 1: Classification
The examination room seemed to have grown several degrees colder since the doctor had handed her her test results. The kindly looking older woman with the pencil stuck in her updo looked sympathetically at her as her face fell and she crumpled the piece of paper in her fist. It was so simple, just containing her name, the doctor's information, and the result of her screening.
She had presented late, twenty one rather than eighteen. They'd screened her every year since then, but the results had always come back as inconclusive.
"Are you alright?"
The doctor's voice was kind, but Alyssa didn't care. She was frozen in place, disbelieving, because this wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed... Her sisters weren't...
She didn't look like a submissive. She was big and muscled, and no man had ever dared to follow her on the street. She was supposed to be a dominant, not... not this.
The doctor put a hand on her shoulder and Alyssa tensed, clenching her fists harder.
"I... I know this is hard to accept for some people," said the doctor, handing Alyssa a folder full of papers. "But, I want to assure you that it's nothing to be ashamed of. This folder contains some basic information, including the names of government verified establishments where dominants and submissives can go. Many of these places also run groups for newly classified dominants and submissives, and I would encourage you to check them out, especially if you find yourself uncomfortable with this."
Alyssa stood up and shoved the piece of paper containing her test results inside the folder, storming out of the clinic.
Amanda had texted her a question mark, as she had every year since her twin had been first tested. Alyssa turned her phone off- she had no idea how she was going to tell her family about this. Logically, she knew that they wouldn't be disappointed. They had told all of their daughters that, no matter what, they would always be proud of them. But still, both of her sisters were dominants, she was supposed to be a dominant too.
She and Amanda shared an apartment, so she knew that she would have to tell her sister eventually. But, she reasoned, shoving the folder of papers in her shoulder bag, there was no need to do it yet. She paced the streets until, finally, she ended up in her favorite bookstore. Wandering through the stacks of books, she felt her fists begin to unclench, little by little. Being surrounded by pages upon pages of stories, the stories of people who weren't her, Alyssa Naeher, newly classified submissive, made a little bit of the weight lift off of her shoulders.
Grabbing a Tolkien novel off the shelf, she flopped into one of the bookstore's reading chairs and flipped it open to the beginning pages.
Middle Earth, a world without dominants or submissives, a world where she didn't have to worry about any of this...
"Have you read it before?"
A quiet voice interrupted her before she could even finish reading the first page, and Alyssa stuck her finger in to mark her place, even though she didn't need to- there was no way to lose it. She looked up to find the owner of the voice, a blonde woman with her hair in a loose braid. She had a pair of stylish reading glasses on the top of her head and her jeans were high-waisted. Her face looked even kinder than that of the doctor, and, to make a long story short, she was pretty.
But, even though the woman was beautiful, Alyssa couldn't help but feel a surge of anger rising back up into her chest. She had just begun to relax, to block out the world and forget about the bad news, and then this woman had to come charging into her bubble and interrupt it.
So, she gave a terse nod, ponytail swinging from side to side. Her smile was just as tight as her nod, and she hoped that the beautiful woman would get the hint and leave her to her book.
No such luck. Rather the opposite, in fact.
There was an empty chair beside her, and the woman sank into it, eyes raking across Alyssa. Not judging, more... analyzing.
"It's one of my favorites," she said softly. "Do you read much Tolkien?"
Again, Alyssa nodded, hoping that the woman would leave her alone. Her torso was angled away from the newcomer, and she almost felt bad for being so unfriendly, especially when she saw the woman's lovely face fall slightly.
"Are you alright?"
Alyssa was about to nod, but found herself shaking her head instead, minutely.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
This time, her head shake was bigger. She caught the woman's nod out of the corner of her eye while she was pretending to study the cover of the book intently.
"Okay," said the woman, getting up and placing a gentle hand on Alyssa's shoulder. "I hope you feel better."
Then, she walked away, leaving a sweet smell lingering in the air.
She stayed in the bookstore until the clerks began to close down, and then she put the book back on the shelf and began the walk back to the apartment she shared with her twin sister. It seemed ten times longer than normal, thanks to the dread which filled her from head to toe at the thought of telling anyone that she wasn't the dominant they all thought she would be, and was instead a submissive, with biological instincts just waiting to boil to the surface and fuck up her entire life.
She considered taking a few extra spins around the block, just to put it off a little longer, but then Amanda was calling to her, head poking through their second story window, and she knew that she couldn't avoid the conversation any further.
"So," said Amanda, once she had pulled the spaghetti off of the stove and served it up for the two of them. "Why'd you ignore my texts?"
Alyssa shrugged, poking at her noodles, moving a lump of tomato sauce from side to side and watching the red spread across the light yellow of the pasta. She took a sip of her water, and Amanda set her fork down on the table, a little bit too hard.
"I sent you four texts, Lys. You didn't answer any of them. For hours. You've never done that before. I almost called mom and dad."
Despite the lump in her throat, the regret at making Amanda worry, Alyssa just shrugged again.
"Okay," said Amanda, picking her fork back up only to slam it down again, even harder, making her twin sister look up. "There's something going on with you, Alyssa Michelle Naeher, and you are going to tell me what it is, or else I'll... I'll..."
Alyssa had to hold back a laugh. Amanda wasn't great at threats.
"Please," she said. "Just tell me. Whatever it is, there's no way it can be that bad."
Alyssa wanted to take a bite of her pasta, just so that she'd have an excuse not to answer her sister, but her stomach was roiling too much. So, she decided, she just had to spit it out.
"Well," she said, hesitating. "My... My test results came back."
"Ah, fucking finally," said Amanda. "We've been waiting for years! So, what is it? Joining the club?"
When Alyssa didn't immediately perk up and confirm Amanda's statement, instead seeming to collapse into herself, the other twin got the picture. She reached a hand across the table to her sister and put a gentle hand on her arm.
"Oh, Lys," she said. "Are you..."
Alyssa buried her head in her hands as Amanda stroked her arm. The silence confirmed it.
"Alyssa," she said. "It's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of. So, you're a submissive. So what? You're still the same Alyssa-"
Alyssa shoved her chair out and glared at Amanda.
"You don't know what it means, Amanda! I didn't either, beyond what we learned in school! But now, it's... it's fucking different! I never thought I'd have to worry about what... what fucking happens! I don't want to need someone to... to... I can fucking take care of myself, I don't need a dominant!"
Amanda just sat there, listening to Alyssa yell about how she wouldn't be one of those submissives, the ones that everyone saw on television, completely dependent on their dominants.
"I know," said Amanda, standing up and opening her arms, inviting her twin to take comfort in them like she had when they were little. "You... Alyssa, I don't know what to say to you. I'm not... I'm sure there are people who can help you... understand this."
Alyssa felt tears pricking at her eyes, and she rushed into Amanda's arms, burying her face in her twin's shoulder. As Amanda stroked her back, the tears grew. Her sister led her to her bedroom and, the next morning, she found the folder from the doctor's office sat on her bedside table.
She hadn't looked at it yesterday, other than shoving her test results inside. But today, feeling slightly better after having a day to process it, and now that someone knew, even if it was only Amanda, she decided to open it up and take a peek inside.
Other than the basic information about the proper healthcare for a submissive- really, no different than her former routine- and warning signs of subdrop, there was an official looking sheet of paper which listed names and addresses of what she supposed were the government approved clubs and establishments where dominants and submissives alike could go to get training, advice, or simply to meet other recently classified people and make friends. And, of course, the part she had been dreading.
Where submissives can safely obey their biology in the care of experienced and understanding dominants.
Even though Alyssa wanted to crumple up the piece of paper and throw it into the fireplace, she couldn't help but feel a twinge of interest. Something in her chest wanted to know what it would be like to be in one of those places.
Curiosity killed the cat, Alyssa, she said to herself. But, she couldn't stop looking at the list, and one entry caught her eye.
It was so close to her apartment. And, no matter how much she hated it, she couldn't help but feel a shiver run down her spine at the thought of it.
She googled it, and found that it was open beginning at eight in the evening. Entry fee was only twenty dollars. And it was so close.
Really, she had no excuse not to go.
So, at eight thirty, Alyssa pulled her hair up into a high ponytail and donned a jean jacket and a pair of leggings, then grabbed her purse and waved goodbye to Amanda. Her sister gave her a smile and returned her attention to the episode of The Office which was being cast to their television from her laptop.
She walked the two blocks to the club, and took it in for a moment. It didn't look like what she had imagined one of these clubs to look like- rather than being dark and mysterious, it had a polite sign out front, like that of a daytime cafe, and the windows, while they had blinds covering whatever activity was taking place inside, were lit with a pleasant glow.
She chewed at her lip, tapping her toes nervously inside her pair of ankle boots.
"Fuck," she whispered. "Am I really doing this?"
There was a light laugh from behind her, and she turned around to see two women, one blonde with numerous tattoos visible from underneath her sleeves. She was dressed in jeans and sneakers, and she didn't look like someone who Alyssa would have expected to find at one of these places. The other woman, a brunette, was in a pair of Doc Martens, tights and a dress. There was a thin collar around her neck, like the ones that Alyssa saw on all of her friends who were married submissives, bonded to a dominant. They didn't look like the type of people Alyssa would have expected to find in one of these clubs. Then again, in her experience, the submissives and dominants who went to these places regularly were like the ones in the porn videos which she had accidentally walked in on Amanda watching, with the former completely subject to the latter.
Maybe it was like that.
She really just had no idea- she was lost in a world that she had no idea how to navigate.
"I know it seems intimidating," said the smaller woman, the submissive. "But I promise, everyone in there is incredible. I was nervous too, but there's really nothing to worry about."
Her partner nodded in agreement, arm wrapped around her submissive's waist as she pulled the door open.
"We promise," she said. "You'll be okay. You've just gotta take the plunge."
The couple disappeared into the building, leaving Alyssa alone once again on the sidewalk. She took a deep breath, working herself up to it. She couldn't help but let the women's words comfort her, a little bit. So, swallowing down the lump in her throat, she opened the door and took her first step inside.
The first thing Alyssa noticed about the place was that it smelled almost... nice?
Not like sex, although that was mostly likely the primary activity, but like a sweet-smelling perfume, sprayed in just the right amount. There was an elegant beaded curtain between the reception desk and the main room, and Alyssa stared at it long enough to memorize the order of colors- red, green, black, red, green, black- rather than turning towards the receptionist and revealing the blush on her cheeks, which grew deeper and more scarlet each time she heard a soft noise from behind the curtain.
Another two people came in behind her, a tall woman and a shorter one, both blondes. The shorter blonde handed the receptionist thirty dollars- Alyssa supposed that there must be a discount for couples who came together?- and greeted her familiarly.
"It's nice to see you guys," said the receptionist in a sunny voice, and the shorter blonde returned the sentiment, then grabbed her partner's wrist gently and led her through the curtain. As they left, the taller woman gave the receptionist a small wave. It slid back into place before Alyssa got a chance to see what was behind it.
"Can I help you, honey?"
Alyssa shouldn't have been as startled as she was when the receptionist addressed her- she had been standing near her desk for nearly five minutes without moving. But still, she jerked violently and turned around to face the receptionist, her high ponytail swinging and brushing against her neck.
"Sorry," said the woman, looking at Alyssa with a smile. "I was just wondering if you were lost?"
Alyssa shook her head, trying to catch her breath.
"I'm... I just..."
The receptionist's smile widened as she twirled her pen between her fingers. When Alyssa looked closer at her desk, she could see several identical pens in a mug with a bulldog on it.
Alyssa nodded, picking at her cuticles nervously. A piece of her fingernail fell to the floor, and she covered it with the heel of her shoes.
"It can be hard," said the woman sympathetically. "But, everyone's been there. Well, a lot of people anyway. I promise, it'll be okay."
Alyssa nodded, not quite believing her but desperately wanting to.
"Do you wanna go in?"
She did- she didn't think she would want to go in as badly as she did, but it was as if every muscle in her body was in conflict with itself, begging for her both to take a few steps forwards and see what was behind the curtain and to turn on her heel and run all the way back home.
"I'll tell you what," said the receptionist, tucking her pen in her ponytail. "Go on in. I work until one, and if you don't like it or if you get too scared, come back out here and I'll give you your money back."
And, there went her last excuse. Alyssa nodded and approached the desk, handing her twenty dollar bill to the woman, who grinned.
"Okay," she said. "Since it's your first time here, I've just gotta have you fill out some basic paperwork while I run your ID to make sure you're not going to pull out a machete and murder everyone."
Alyssa forced a smile at the receptionist's attempt at humor, and exchanged her driver's license for a clipboard, and a pen plucked from the bulldog mug. She watched as her pen slid across the paper, blue ink spreading as she wrote out her name and checked the appropriate boxes confirming that she had no medical conditions which could put her in danger inside the club, that she had never been convicted of a violent crime, and that she was classified as a submissive.
"Okay," said the receptionist, handing her driver's license back to her in exchange for the clipboard. She perused it quickly, entering the data into the computer as Alyssa tucked her driver's license back into her wallet.
"Everything looks great! Since you're here by yourself, would you like me to see if any of our doms have any availability? No extra charge," she added. "We get government funding."
Alyssa chewed at her lip, considering as she handed the receptionist her valuables, to be stored in one of the cupboards behind the desk so as to not get in the way.
"I... I'm not sure."
The receptionist, who Alyssa only now noticed had a badge declaring her name to be Rose, put a hand over hers.
"If you'd rather just watch for now, that's fine too. It's really up to you."
Alyssa shrugged, mind flitting back and forth between the options- take a day to get used to it, or jump in with both feet and see how she would do. She couldn't deny that her dreams last night had been filled with images that confused her beyond belief- ones where she was on her knees, a faceless woman with a hand in her hair, and where she felt, inexplicably, happy. When she had woken up, she had wanted to shudder and put them from her mind as horrid and unthinkable, but she couldn't quite deny the warmth that had flooded through her while she was dreaming them.
"You can always-"
She interrupted Rose, clenching her fists in determination. The woman behind the desk raised her eyebrows, but didn't question her. Instead, she typed something in her computer.
"Alright," she said. "It looks two of our doms have availability tonight. Lucky for you, one of them is Christie- she's the one we usually recommend for our first-timers, just so they have a nice, gentle introduction to it. Does that sound good to you?"
Alyssa nodded, still not quite able to believe that she was taking this plunge so quickly. But, she reasoned, she would have to do it sometime. No time like the present, after all.
Rose gave her another smile and typed something into her computer.
"She'll see you in twenty minutes, in Room 3. Let me know if you have any questions, okay?"
Alyssa nodded, and Rose gestured her through, to the new world which lay beyond the redgreenblack beaded curtain.
As the curtain closed behind her with a gentle rattle, Alyssa didn't know where she should look first. There was just so much going on- so many people. The first thing she noticed was that almost every single one of them was female- there was, in fact, only one man that she could see. He was built like a football player, and laughing happily at the beautiful blonde woman trying to climb up onto his back.
That was, at least, a relief. Alyssa had little to no liking for male doms, and even less trust. She was sure that the majority of them were lovely people, she was just glad that the first time she dipped her toes into the world, she would be able to do so not under the eyes of men.
Her eyes brushed over couple after couple, as well as a few people who seemed to be there on their own. They were mostly chatting with each other, although one or two couples were engaged in heavier activities.
Particularly, there was one couple which made Alyssa's eyes widen and a blush rise to her cheeks. The submissive had a thick collar around her neck, and her dominant had a hand wrapped around her ponytail, forcing her downwards to press a kiss to her high heels.
"Good girl," cooed the dominant, and the submissive seemed to preen under the praise, leaning into her dominant's touch.
"Hey," said a voice. "Over here!"
Alyssa tore her attention away from the couple to see the women she had met outside the club. The blonde was gesturing her over to their little circle, pulling her submissive onto her lap to open up a space for Alyssa.
"So," said the blonde as Alyssa tentatively took her seat. "You made it in! Good for you, kid!"
Alyssa couldn't help but smile at the older woman's enthusiasm, despite the fact that she wanted to close in on herself and avoid the- friendly- gazes of the people whose circle she had joined.
"I'm Ashlyn," said the blonde, reaching over to shake Alyssa's hand. Her grip was firm, and actually helped the younger woman's heart rate to begin returning to normal.
"I'm Alyssa," she said quietly, and Ashlyn grinned.
"Nice to officially meet you, Alyssa," she said. "This is my submissive, Ali."
Ali kissed Ashlyn's cheek, then smiled at Alyssa from her seat on her dominant's lap.
"Ash is fucking crazy," she said. "Just warning you now."
"But," said a short haired woman sitting across from the couple. "It's the good kind of crazy- promise. I'm Megan, and this is Sue."
Sue greeted Alyssa without picking her head up from where it leaned against Megan's shoulder. Neither was wearing a collar, and so it was impossible for Alyssa to tell which one was the dom, and which was the sub.
Within two more minutes, Alyssa had been introduced to everyone else in the small circle- only one more couple, plus two single women. The couple introduced themselves as Tobin and Christen- the latter's position leaning against the former's legs made Alyssa fairly certain that she was the submissive. The two single women were Crystal, a dom who had left her husband at home tonight, and Tierna, a sub who looked like she couldn't be any older than eighteen.
The group tried their best to include Alyssa in their conversation, asking her opinion on various things, seemingly random. At one point, Megan and Ashlyn seemed to be about to get into a heated argument over whether pancakes or muffins were the superior breakfast food, but were stopped in their tracks when Ali planted a line of kisses down Ashlyn's neck.
Before she knew it, twenty minutes had passed, and Alyssa cautiously asked Ali, in a whisper, where she could find the room where Rose had told her she was to meet Christie.
Ali pointed to a hallway, where Alyssa could see several doors, and the young woman rose. Her hands were trembling slightly, and a wave of nerves had washed over her. The entire circle smiled at her understandingly.
"Who are you meeting?" Christen asked.
"C-Christie," stuttered Alyssa, and Tierna gave her a bright smile.
"She's wonderful," said the young sub. "I saw her my first time here, and she was literally so understanding and sweet. She normally handles the first timers, but I still see her sometimes when I've had a really shitty day and just want someone to pet my hair and call me a good girl."
Alyssa swallowed around the lump in her throat and gave the women a smile. She left the circle and walked past the other patrons of the club, trying not to make it obvious that she was trembling like a leaf.
It felt like she was moving in slow motion, her eyes locking onto random details. The individual specks of lint in the carpet. The way the shoes of the dominant woman she had seen earlier with her hand wrapped in her submissive's hair still glittered with the spit of the woman who was now talking to someone else while the collared woman knelt by her feet. The exact sound of the air freshener as it sprayed, spreading the pleasant flowery scent.
She arrived in front of the door, raised her fist, and knocked.
New year, same sporadic update schedule.
Chapter 3: Foray
"Come on in," said a welcoming voice, and Alyssa took a deep breath, holding it in for a few seconds before letting it out with a hiss of air, trying to steel herself. She had hoped that the dominant would open the door for her, or that the thing would just open magically on its own, because even the simple movement of wrapping her fingers around a knob and turning it seemed suddenly impossible, especially with how hard her hands had begun to shake.
She waited a moment, gathering her courage.
"Come in," the voice repeated, without an ounce of impatience, and Alyssa bit her lip, running her teeth back and forth over the bottom one. Somehow, she managed to stop her hands from shaking for just long enough to close her calloused fingers around the shiny brass doorknob, turn it, and pull open the door. It seemed like it was opening in slow motion, but without the creak which so often accompanied those things. Government funding, she guessed, trying to joke with herself to calm her nerves, must also cover WD-40.
"It's okay," said the woman inside as Alyssa lingered awkwardly in the doorway, eyes flitting around the room, searching for the implements that would most likely end up being used on her at some point- if not tonight, then sometime in the not too distant future.
"You can come in, sweetheart. You don't need to be scared."
Alyssa stepped just far enough inside to be able to close the door behind her, but stayed so close that her back was pressed against the wood. The sound of the click as it latched was, at the same time, comforting and ominous. The happy buzz of the rest of the club disappeared. She could no longer hear sounds of the beautiful dom with the shiny black boots praising the woman on her knees before her, she could no longer hear Ashlyn's distinct voice rising above all the others as she chatted with her friends. It was just her and a complete stranger, alone in the silence of Room Three.
The woman turned around to greet her officially, and once again Alyssa was struck by how incredibly normal she looked.
Christie had her hair up in a simple high ponytail, not unlike Alyssa's own, wrapped up with a black hair tie. She was wearing a loose-fitting short sleeve navy top which showed off her lithe arm muscles perfectly, and black leggings leading down into a pair of equally black boots with wide heels. She was holding a flowery clipboard, and gestured Alyssa forward with a gentle smile.
"Hey, sweetie," she said, and Alyssa couldn't deny that her voice sounded kind, almost motherly. She could definitely understand why she was the dominant who was recommended for first-timers. There was a part of her, a terrifying part that she had only seen in her dream last night, that wanted to drop to her knees right there. She ignored that part of her mind, shoving it back down out of her brain. "I just have a few little forms for you to sign, and then we can get started. Sound good?"
Alyssa nodded, took the flowery clipboard, and scanned the forms. They were similar to the ones Rose had had her sign before she came in, ensuring that she was consenting to be here and acknowledging that she could withdraw said consent at any time. There was a copy of the answers she had given Rose earlier, most likely just for Christie's benefit. After she had read them over, she scribbled her signature on the dotted line and handed the board back to the woman who was now in charge of her until their time was up.
"Okay," said Christie, placing the clipboard on the table with a light clack and tossing the pen down next to it. Alyssa examined the walls of the room again, able to get a better look now that she was actually inside rather than lingering awkwardly in the doorway. Once again, they were unlike what she had expected- there were no whips or chains, no paddles or blindfolds or anything else that she had thought she'd find inside one of these clubs- maybe Christie didn't need those things for the type of domination in which she specialized. The only thing that seemed even the slightest bit frightening to Alyssa's inexperienced mind was the fluffy blue pillow deliberately placed on the floor in front of a chair with a wooden back and elegant carved legs. It had no armrests, so that Christie could pull a sub up onto her lap if need be without causing them discomfort.
"I'm guessing you're Alyssa?"
Alyssa nodded in confirmation, accepting the woman's offered handshake. It was firm, warm, comfortable. Alyssa's pulse was steadily rising, and she was sure that Christie couldn't not feel how much her hand was shaking.
"Hi, Alyssa," she said. "I'm Christie. I know it must be really scary to be here, especially since it's your first time. But I promise, I'm here to take care of you, and we can stop any time you want. It's all up to you. I might be in charge, but you're essentially in charge, because we're gonna do what's good for you. Okay?"
Alyssa nodded, a blush rising to her cheeks, and Christie squeezed her trembling hand gently.
"I'll ask you before I do anything, and I want you to ask me if you want me to do anything that I'm not doing, okay?"
"Okay," whispered Alyssa apprehensively, trying to just focus on how warm Christie's hand was in hers.
"Do you have any questions for me before we get started, sweetheart?"
Alyssa was sure she did- she had a million questions, but she couldn't think of any of them right now. All she could think about was how she was about to be kneeling on that pillow, ready to submit in the way she was meant to.
So, she shook her head and Christie smiled, walking across the floor to the chair above the pillow and taking a seat with her legs crossed.
"You can call me Christie. Or ma'am, if you want."
"Yes, ma'am," whispered Alyssa. The word felt strange coming from her lips, but not all together unpleasant. She almost wanted to say it again, just to see if it felt any different.
"Good girl," said Christie, smiling proudly and gesturing for Alyssa to follow her over to the arrangement beside the wall. The younger woman stared at the pillow, still trembling.
"How about you take your shoes off for me?"
Alyssa nodded- that seemed like a good place to start. She knelt down and unzipped her boots. Christie was still wearing her own boots, and so Alyssa had no idea where to put them. Luckily, Christie caught her expression, and told her to put them in the corner nearest the chair.
"Are you comfortable kneeling for me?"
Alyssa, still shaking, nodded and sank down onto the pillow in front of Christie. She didn't quite know what to do with her eyes- she had heard that some doms didn't like it when subs looked into their eyes, and she really really didn't want to get punished the very first time she submitted to someone. So, figuring that it was better to be safe than sorry, she kept her eyes fixed on a discolored knot in the wood floor, right beside the heel of Christie's boot.
"Oh," said Christie. "You can look at me, good little girl. I want to see your pretty eyes."
Alyssa tried to lift her head, to be a good girl and obey what the dominant was telling her, but every single part of her body felt like lead. The pillow beneath her knees, instead of being a soft thing which could give her comfort, seemed to be doing nothing to stop her from feeling the hard wood beneath.
She suddenly couldn't breathe, and seconds seemed to tick by as slowly as hours. Vaguely, she could hear a buzzing in the background of the nothingness- Christie was talking to her, calmly trying to get a response.
Alyssa was so scared, so frozen, and she didn't even know why. Christie hadn't even done anything- they hadn't done anything.
But she couldn't breathe properly.
Keeping one hand in Alyssa's hair, Christie reached over to an intercom button that Alyssa hadn't even noticed and pressed it.
"Becky," she said. "Could you come in here with a blanket?"
Christie continued petting Alyssa's hair, whispering affirmations and helping her to her feet. The older woman supported her, half carrying her over to a beanbag chair and settling her on the soft surface. Alyssa closed her eyes, still shaking as the dominant fed her small sips of water.
The door opened and the sound of footsteps entered, clacking across the room towards her. Christie stood up to greet the newcomer.
"I- I don't know what happened," she said, flicking her gaze back and forth between the woman who had just entered the room and Alyssa, worriedly. "She got scared, I think. I just-"
"Don't worry, Christie," said the newcomer, and through the haze Alyssa thought she almost recognized the voice. "Go and take your break. Your ten o'clock will be here soon- I'll have Rose tell her to meet you in Room Five instead of Three, just in case we're still in here."
Christie nodded, but before she left she crouched down to pat Alyssa's shoulder, squeezing it gently.
"It was so nice to meet you, sweetheart," she said kindly. "If you ever want to come back, I'd be glad to see you again. I'm sorry."
Alyssa tried to find her voice, she wanted to tell the dominant that she had done nothing wrong, that she was just a terrible submissive and it was all her fault, but her tongue was lead. Christie left the room, and the other woman wrapped a soft blanket around Alyssa's shoulders.
"Deep breaths," said the woman, patting Alyssa's back. "It's gonna be okay, sweetie. Just focus on your breathing. In and out, in and out."
Alyssa didn't know how long it took before she started to come back into herself from the dark hole that she had fallen into all of a sudden, but she did know that the woman didn't leave her side for a second, except to get her another cup of water. She gave her small sips, and it seemed to loosen her vocal cords back to the point where she could at least try to talk.
"Shh, sweetie. You don't need to talk unless you want to."
Alyssa rubbed the fabric of the blanket between her fingers, focusing on how soft it was, the slide of the material. She took another sip of water when it was offered, a slightly larger one this time, then took a deep breath and looked up at the woman who was sitting beside her. Her eyes widened in recognition, and she realized why the voice had sounded so familiar.
It was the woman from the bookstore.
Chapter 4: Melt
Alyssa tried to stutter out the words, make clear her recognition of the woman's face, but the woman- Becky, she supposed her name was- shushed her quietly with a stroke of her hand up and down her left shoulder.
"It's okay, honey," she cooed gently. "You don't need to talk yet. Just keep breathing."
Alyssa let the woman keep petting her shoulders, and then tentatively put an arm around them, waiting for any sign from the shaking submissive that she wasn't comfortable with the touch.
There was none, because Alyssa leaned into the gentle sensation, letting Becky continue to whisper calm words to her, telling her that it was all okay, that it would all be alright, that she was safe.
"Honey," she whispered, when Alyssa's breathing had returned to something approaching normal, even if the occasional breathless gasp still occasionally escaped her lips. "Do you want to tell me what happened? You don't have to if you don't want to, you can keep it to yourself. But I think you might feel a whole lot better if you talked about it."
"B-But," she whispered. "I-"
She trailed off, unsure what to say.
"What, sweetie? I promise, no judgement. I've seen and heard it all, and everything is okay. No one here will ever judge you."
Alyssa couldn't help but be comforted by the woman's lithe but strong arms around her, one hand still rubbing at the knots in her shoulder. Becky didn't say anything else, waiting for Alyssa to continue her thought.
The younger woman had to wait a few more moments, letting out a few more gasps before she managed to find her tongue again.
"I just," she repeated. "I couldn't. I felt- I just felt like I was suffocating. I wanted to be good, I really did! I wanted to be a good girl, but I just..."
She trailed off, tears pricking at her eyes again, blushing in shame not only at panicking during her first foray into this world, but at the fact that she was still on the edge of panic.
"Oh, no," cooed Becky. "It's okay, Alyssa. You are a good girl. You just... Alyssa, how long ago were you classified?"
"Yesterday," she whispered, blush deepening. "I... When I saw you in the bookshop, I-"
"Don't worry about that," said Becky, dismissing her worry with a wave of her hand. "I could tell that something was wrong, but you didn't want to talk about it. And that's okay, I understand, and I'm not angry with you at all. But Alyssa, I think you might have jumped into this a bit too quickly."
Alyssa wiped furiously at her eyes, inadvertently bending her body closer to Becky's, in need of the comfort that the dominant's arms provided.
"I-I... I just figured that... I have to do it eventually, I just needed to get it over with. My... This is going to be the rest of my life, so I figured I'd better start getting used to it."
Alyssa couldn't see it, but she could feel Becky's face fall.
"Oh," she said, swallowing around a lump in her throat. "Honey, I... I think you... You might be misunderstanding this. You don't... This isn't the rest of your life, honey. It's not your job to be completely submissive to someone. Sure, you might be a submissive, but that's not all you are. Do you understand me?"
Alyssa chewed at her lip, trying to process Becky's words. They were similar to the ones Amanda said to her yesterday, but she was having trouble believing them.
She would try to start believing them. She had to.
"Do you understand me, honey?"
Alyssa nodded tentatively, and Becky stroked her hair.
"Good girl," she cooed, and some still buried- but emerging- part of Alyssa preened happily.
They stayed there for a few more minutes, until Alyssa felt ready to move. Then, Becky got up and walked over to the corner, grabbing Alyssa's boots and sliding them onto her feet.
Then, she squatted down and helped the submissive to her feet, letting her lean against her as they walked across the room to the door. Becky used her free hand to open it and led Alyssa back out into the club.
Luckily, only Ashlyn and Ali noticed as the women walked past. Ashlyn looked like she was about to get up, to rush over to Alyssa and make sure she was okay, but Ali put a hand on her shoulder, shaking her head and directing her dominant's attention back to whatever Megan was saying.
"Come on," said Becky to Alyssa. "Let's go to my office, real quick."
Alyssa followed her, all the while hoping that no one else would manage to spot her. She couldn't handle being seen by anyone in this state- it would be too humiliating.
Becky shut the door of her office behind them, and Alyssa sank down into one of two plush chairs. It was comfortable, but somehow not quite as comfortable as sitting on the beanbag chair back in Room Three with Becky's strong arms wrapped around her.
As was the theme of this night for Alyssa, Becky's office was completely normal looking. Unless someone read the certificate on the wall, giving her the government's authorization, there would be no way to know that she was running a BDSM club from the contents- a desktop computer, a minifridge and books lining the walls.
"Alyssa," said the older woman. "I have an idea that I think might interest you."
Alyssa didn't say anything, just squeezed at the arms of the chair and waited for Becky to tell her what the idea was.
"We run groups here," said the woman. "For newly classified dominants and submissives. I mean, we run other groups too, just kind of socially, but I think you would benefit from one of the groups for newly classified submissives. We know that it can be a lot to accept and try to deal with, and we just want to help. So, does that sound good?"
Alyssa nodded apprehensively. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about it, but it was better than having this happen again, the next time she needed to submit to someone. Anything that could help her be a good girl, she should probably do.
I'm not supposed to be a submissive, she thought to herself. But, she nodded.
"When do they meet?"
"Well," said Becky. "There's one that actually meets tomorrow morning at eleven. I saw you talking to Ali Krieger-Harris earlier- she'll be there, if that helps you decide. We always bring in experienced submissives to join the groups and answer any questions that you have. I understand if you're not up for it, but if you want to, we meet right here. "
Alyssa nodded, a little bit more comfortable with the idea now that she knew there would be at least one familiar face, and Becky handed her a bottle of water.
"Drink this, honey," she said. "And then I'll take you home. If that's all right with you," she added quickly.
Alyssa took small sips of the water, considering Becky's offer. Yes, she was a dominant, and so Alyssa should listen to her, but it sounded as if Becky was presenting it as a choice, rather than an order.
Yet, the thought of someone walking her home, rather than making her bristle, actually sounded rather... nice. Besides, she wasn't quite sure she was steady enough to get home on her own.
"Okay," she said. "Th-Thank you. For everything."
She finished the water, and Becky snatched the bottle from her, tossing it into a recycling bin.
"No problem," she said. "It's my job to take care of people who come here."
Alyssa grabbed the arms of the chair to help herself get up, steadier on her feet now than she had been a few minutes ago. She followed Becky out past the rest of the people, waving goodbye shyly to Ashlyn and Ali.
"So," said Rose, handing Alyssa her belongings. "Am I refunding you or not?"
Alyssa was surprised with herself when she shook her head, buttoning her jacket and letting Becky lead her out into the night.
Luckily, Amanda was asleep when she got back- Alyssa was in no mood to answer the numerous questions that her twin sister would almost certainly have for her.
Becky stood there until she was sure that Alyssa had made it inside, then turned around and began the short walk back to her club. As for Alyssa, she got ready for bed quickly, then collapsed into the mattress.
She tossed and turned, mind racing. She certainly had a lot to think about, and stayed awake long into the early hours of the morning.
Chapter 5: Nerves
Guess who had a very productive day?? Moi!
Alyssa woke up to the sun peeking through the cracks in her shades. She sat up slowly, raising her arms in the stereotypical morning stretch. Her joints popped and cracked, and she gave an involuntary sigh of relief. Looking at the clock, she couldn't help but be a little bit upset that she had woken up so early- it was only eight, giving her two and a half hours just to think, about whether or not she was going to go to the group that Becky had recommended for her.
Her mind wavered back and forth between the two possibilities.
First, she didn't go to the group. If last night had been any indication, Alyssa didn't belong. It was fine, she didn't need to deal with this. There was absolutely no reason why she should have to deal with this. She could just ignore her classification, and whenever subdrop started to set in, she could just bury herself in blankets and wait for it to go away.
Second, she did go. She put her hair up and walked right back to the club, went in and sat down in a group of people that she didn't know, and who were probably going to be looking at her and judging everything she said and did and oh God, this was so scary.
She didn't even realize that her toast was was burning until someone gave her shoulder a shake, pressing the button to make the bread pop up before it set off the smoke alarm.
"Shit," Alyssa swore quietly, using her bare hands to pick up the charred crust, and then promptly juggling it between her hands until she could drop it onto a plate, gasping at the pain of the heat on her fingertips.
The toast stared up at her, blackened and sad, and she growled and slid the ruined breakfast into the compost bin and went to the fridge to grab some yogurt instead.
"What's up with you, Lyss?"
She shrugged at Amanda's question, trying and failing to look nonchalant as she slid into one of their creaky dining room chairs, sticking her spoon into the food and bringing it to her mouth.
I have no idea what I'm going to do.
"Nothing," she said, shrugging her muscular shoulders and hoping that her twin- the person who had known her longer than anyone else- would believe the blatant lie.
Amanda, of course, didn't. Not even a little bit. She plopped down into the other chair, ignoring the squeak of the wood, crossing her arms and staring at her twin sister with a raised eyebrow.
"Bullshit," she said. "Why are you lying to me?"
Alyssa thought about continuing her lie, insisting that there was nothing wrong, that she was just tired or had slept weird or that she really had wanted that toast, or...
"I've... I've just got a lot on my mind, Amanda."
It was the truth, or part of it at least.
"Okay," said Amanda, her eyebrow rising even higher so that it almost disappeared into her messy morning hair. "Does it have anything to do with where you were going last night?"
Alyssa felt a blush rising in her cheeks, and she immediately lowered her head, trying to hide her face from Amanda- all it would do was confirm her twin's guess. She shrugged again.
"Just... just let it go," she whispered, and she could feel her sister's face fall. Amanda was... well, she was more of a talker than Alyssa was.
"Okay," her sister repeated slowly. "Just... If you want to talk about it, you know where I live."
Alyssa humored her sister with a small laugh at her lame joke, taking another bite of her yogurt and returning to her internal debate over going to this group. She... she couldn't deny that it held a certain fascination, being given an opportunity to dip her toes a little further into this world that she had before now only heard about from Amanda and Abigail, and from her friends, and observed second hand.
Even though everyone was either a dominant or a submissive, it was still a topic which was kept in the shadows, private interactions between couples.
She was so curious, but she didn't want to be curious. She wanted to just ignore this, to go back to the way it had been two days ago before she had been classified as... this.
She finished her yogurt, rinsed out the container and dropped her spoon into the sink, returning to her room to get dressed, for whatever she might choose to do that day.
When Alyssa was finished getting dressed, it was already nine-thirty. Leaving her only an hour to decide whether or not she was going to open her door again, and walk the few blocks to the club. She had felt braver last night, when it was dark. Now, with the mid-morning light shining down and flooding through her windows, she was trembling again.
The hour passed far too quickly for Alyssa's liking, and by the time it was ten fifteen, she wanted nothing more than to never have gotten out of bed this morning. If she was still asleep, she wouldn't have to be making this decision.
And then, her phone buzzed and lit up with a text.
Unknown number: Hey, it's Becky. Hope you slept well! I was just wondering if you were coming, 'cause I wanted to know how many donuts I should get? :)
She wondered for a second how Becky had gotten her number... and then she remembered plugging it into the woman's phone before she went inside last night. Becky had offered, just in case she had any questions about anything.
Alyssa: I don't know
Becky texted back right away.
Becky: No pressure, but I really think you should, it would be good! Plus, AKH is here already helping me set up, and she seemed excited that you might be coming, and I'd really love to see you.
Alyssa: ok, i'll be there.
She had no idea why she agreed: maybe it was the fact that Ali Krieger-Harris (for some reason unknown to her) was excited to see her, maybe it was a fear of disappointing the dominant who had been so good to her the previous night, maybe it was the promise of donuts... or maybe... maybe it was something else.
So, beating herself up as she grabbed her wallet, she walked out the door and started off towards the club.
When she walked in, it was to find the front desk deserted. Even though there was a sign pointing towards where the group would be held, Alyssa still couldn't help but feel like she was doing something wrong as she pushed past the rattling beads and followed the large print signs towards a room with an open door, in which she could see two figures, moving things around. One figure's dark hair was pulled up in a bun on the top of her head, and she was busy arranging an assortment of foods on a fold-out table. The other figure's blonde braid identified her immediately to Alyssa as Becky. She was placing beanbag chairs in a loose circle, counting them to make sure that they had enough.
Alyssa stood awkwardly near the door to the room. She was the first one here- of course she was. She cursed herself mentally- she had such a compulsion not to be late that, like today, she often ended up ludicrously early. Or, in this case, twenty minutes early.
The woman arranging the food propped the box of donuts open and then turned around, catching sight of Alyssa before she could duck out of sight, hide until there were more people here to distract the attention from her. The older woman's face lit up in a bright smile as she gestured the younger into the room, and Alyssa felt silly and stupid that it had taken seeing her face to recognize the woman as Ali.
"Hey, Alyssa," said Ali as Alyssa shyly took a step inside. "I'm super glad you came!"
Alyssa gave Ali a small smile, and returned the wave that Becky gave her. The dominant came forward and put a gentle hand on the small of her back, guiding her further into the room and gesturing towards the plentiful food.
"Take your pick," she said. "First come, first served!"
There was a nervous pit in Alyssa's stomach, all tied up in knots at not only the worries from earlier but at how nice Becky's hand felt on her, quietly and gently leading her to where she wanted her to be. She hated how nice it felt, how inexplicably comfortable she felt when Becky guided her. She almost felt nauseous, but picked up a doughnut anyway- it would be rude to refuse.
"So," said Ali, absently playing with her collar which, now that it was lighter, Alyssa noticed had the name Ashlyn stamped into it. Ali traced her fingers across the engraving of her dominant's name as she asked Alyssa her question.
"How are you feeling? You don't need to talk about anything if you don't want to, but I just want to know if you're okay? You looked... Well, in Ash's ever so subtle words, you kinda looked like shit last night."
"I'm okay," she said quietly. "Becky helped."
Ali sent a smile Becky's way, laughing at the way her friend's cheeks, unknown to Alyssa, reddened a little bit.
"She's good at that," she said, plopping down on a beanbag and gesturing for Alyssa to join her. The younger woman sat on the edge of the neighboring beanbag chair, and relaxed back into it gratefully when Ali didn't press her to talk, just sat there beside her.
Eventually, other people started trickling in. One looked familiar- the tall woman from last night. Becky smiled, welcoming her in and telling her to help herself to anything she wanted from the food table. The woman lingered by the door, casting a nervous look behind her, and Alyssa spotted the other blonde that she had seen with her, nodding reassuringly.
"It's okay, princess," she said. "I'll be back, and we can go get some lunch before my group starts. Alright?"
The tall woman nodded cautiously, picking up a napkin from the food table and messing with it as a sort of stress toy, tearing little pieces off of it and tucking them into her pocket.
"Okay," she said, waving goodbye to a woman that Alyssa now assumed to be her dominant before she sat down in a beanbag chair across from where Ali and Alyssa were. Ali gave Alyssa a smile and hopped up to greet the newcomer. Becky took the seat that she had vacated, and put a comforting hand on top of Alyssa's own.
"Everyone's nervous," she said. "The last group finished up last week, and so everyone's new to this. Everyone's still figuring it out."
Alyssa nodded, slightly comforted by Becky's words as she watched other people trickle in, some alone and some kissing their dominants goodbye before grabbing food and taking seats.
There was a bubbly blonde woman, who gave her dominant a big hug before coming inside, grabbing two doughnuts, stuffing one into her mouth and beginning to introduce herself to everyone.
A young dark haired woman, maybe nineteen, came in on her own and gave the blonde a hug before sitting down and waiting for her friend to join her.
A chestnut haired woman who already had a delicate collar around her neck waved goodbye to her far shorter dominant. Before letting her go, the dominant pulled her down into a kiss and gave her collar a light tug.
When one woman said goodbye to her dominant, she had an English accent. She sat down right next to the tall woman and gave her a hug. Her presence seemed to take some of the tension out of the tall woman, who also waved towards the door where the English woman's dominant was lingering, making sure she got settled.
An absolutely stunning woman with dark hair held back by a thin pink headband, wearing a collar with a pendant hanging down which, Alyssa could only assume, bore her dominant's name, a mark of ownership.
Then, there were a few people who she recognized from the previous night.
Tierna, the young single submissive from the previous night, who took the beanbag beside her. Christen and Sue, who walked in confidently. The blonde woman who had been with the only man present the previous night. The room was filling up, and Alyssa couldn't help but wonder if everyone inside was just as frightened as she was.
She doubted it. Half of them already seemed to know each other. As always, she was destined to be the outlier.
Becky stayed beside her until the clock hit eleven, and then she stood up by the food table to get everyone's attention. When the dominant was no longer occupying the seat beside her, Alyssa felt some of the fear rush back into her- she wished that Becky had just stayed beside her to start the group.
"Okay," she said. "Thank you all for coming! For those of you who don't know me, I'm Becky, and I own this place. So, today's kind of an introductory session. I know it sounds cliche, but I think we should start by going around and introducing ourselves."
Alyssa swallowed around the lump in her throat, hands shaking a little bit and wishing that Becky would come back to sit with her as Ali opened her mouth to get them started.
Chapter 6: Connaissance
A/N I realize I fucked up Tierna' s timeline in this chapter let's ignore that pls I have a lot on my mind
Ali had ended up sitting between Christen and the collared chestnut haired woman, lounging comfortably on the beanbag chair with her legs stretched and her ankles crossed. She waved to the assembled group, obviously relaxed as she introduced herself.
"Hey guys," she said. "I'm Ali Krieger-Harris! I did this group about... oh gosh, Becky, was it five years ago? Six?"
Becky nodded, and Ali rubbed her temple, shaking her head back and forth.
"Gosh, I feel so old," she laughed. "Anyway, Becky was so lovely to have me back to help facilitate. I recently married my dominant, Ashlyn, who has been my dominant ever since we were both classified. She's a total weirdo, and cares way more about her hair than anyone should, but I love her anyway."
There was a smattering of nervous laughs from the assembled submissives- those of them who hadn't been to one of these groups before were beginning to feel the nerves set in, as it grew closer and closer to their time to introduce themselves. Ali gave them all a bright smile, then turned to Christen on her left.
Christen gave the group the same friendly smile that Ali had, scooting forwards a little on her beanbag chair and tucking her hair up into a bun.
"Hey," she said, in the same friendly, sweet tone that Alyssa had heard from her when they met briefly the previous night. "I'm Christen! I did this group a few years ago as well, and so I'm one of your facilitators, along with Ali, Sue and Alex. I'm not married yet," she continued, running her fingers absently across the dip in her neck, the same way that Ali had played with her collar earlier. "But, if anyone wanted to hint it to my dom... Her name's Tobin, and she's the one who literally looks like she's on another planet half the time. Just so you know."
She trailed off with a little laugh, and the rest of the group joined her. Even Alyssa managed a smile, and the introductions moved to the blonde on Christen's left, the first person to introduce herself who hadn't already done the group.
"Hi," she said, without the same level of easy confidence that Ali and Christen's voices had had, but still free of any tremors or obvious signs that she was nervous. "I'm Julie, but you can call me JJ. I'm... Oh gosh, what do I even say about myself? I'm engaged to my dom, Zach. My favorite color is blue... And, I'm an Aries!"
Alyssa started to sweat a little bit as the introductions moved around the circle, picking at her fingernails. She had no idea what she was going to say about herself- there was nothing interesting about her!
Beside JJ, there was the tall blonde woman who looked almost as nervous as Alyssa felt. If Alyssa had had superhuman hearing, the same way Amanda did whenever her twin tried to eat any of her food, she was sure that their two heartbeats would be the loudest sounds in the room. The napkin that the tall woman had been picking at had all but disappeared, shredded into confetti, and her voice was quiet, so quiet that no one except JJ and the Englishwoman on her other side could hear what she was saying.
"Sam," said the Englishwoman, patting her friend's arm. "Babe, I think you've gotta speak up a little bit."
Sam nodded, gripping onto the beanbag chair for support and causing the filling to rustle.
"I'm Sam," she said. "I'm... I just got classified a few weeks ago. My girlfriend got classified a little bit before me, and so we decided that we'd learn about it together, I guess."
Becky smiled encouragingly at her, a similar smile to the one she'd given Alyssa the previous night, and Alyssa couldn't help but feel a pit open up in her stomach.
The Englishwoman beside Sam was far less shy than her friend, and gave the group a little wave.
"Hi," she said. "I'm Rachel! My dominant is this one's sister."
She ruffled Sam's hair playfully, earning an undecipherable look of displeasure from the other woman.
"In case you all couldn't tell, I came here from England a few years ago. From Yorkshire, originally, since almost no one stateside can recognize the difference between regional accents."
Rachel wrapped an arm around Sam, and the introductions moved on to Sue, who revealed that she had done the group at the same time as Ali, which was what had led to the two couples being so close. The blonde, who had already introduced herself to almost everyone as Emily, gave an excited wave before telling them that she was super psyched to meet them all. The small dark haired girl beside her rolled her eyes, then introduced herself as Mal. She, like Alyssa, had been classified very recently.
There were only two people now, before Alyssa would have to think of something to say about herself. She still had no idea what she would tell them, other than the fact that she had been classified two days ago, and that she was nothing special. Becky was still leaning against the snack table, and Alyssa really wished that the dominant would just... just come back to the beanbag circle and sit next to her while she introduced herself.
"Hey," said the beautiful woman with the pink headband and the collar with the tag proclaiming her as married to a dominant. Possessed, in the way that Alyssa was destined to be.
"I'm Alex! I did this group at the same time as Christen, and I married my dominant about a year ago. Her name is Kelley, and she's a total goofball. I'm super glad to meet you all, and if anybody has any questions about anything, you can definitely ask me, as well as my lovely fellow facilitators!"
Tierna was sitting beside Alex, and she brushed a lock of hair behind her ear, then took a deep breath.
"I'm Tierna. I'm eighteen, and I literally just got classified last week, so I don't have a dominant yet. I... It's super nice to meet you all!"
Then, it was Alyssa's turn, and she gripped onto the side of the beanbag chair for support in the same way that Sam had. She wished again that Becky hadn't decided to stay by the snack table, and that the woman was still there next to her, her mere presence calming her.
"Hi," she whispered, speaking almost as quietly as Sam had. "I'm Alyssa. I got classified two days ago."
She trailed off, unable to think of anything else to say about herself. It was unbearably awkward, and the silence grew heavy as it seemed everyone else was waiting for her to say something more.
After a few seconds of silence, the chestnut haired woman, separated from Alyssa by the empty beanbag where Becky had been sitting, realized that it was her turn.
"I'm Morgan," she said. "I married my dominant around a month ago, when I was first classified. We always kind of knew," she said with a smile. "What my results were going to be."
Morgan settled back into her beanbag chair, smiling to herself and playing absently with her collar, running her manicured nails over the dark brown leather, and tracing the pendant on the front of it.
Alyssa supposed that it must be a comfort thing- Morgan was the third submissive she'd met today who she had noticed playing with their collar, or the place where a collar would be in Christen's case, once her dominant finally proposed to her. Maybe she would understand it one day, but for now it made goosebumps rise on her neck.
"Okay," said Becky brightly. "It's so nice to meet you all, and I'm so glad that you're here! I know that you guys might be nervous- hell, I was nervous when I was first classified. Just really quickly, I think I should go over the ground rules. I know, I know," she laughed. "It's so high school."
The comment brought out a smattering of laughs from the gathered women, and even Alyssa was able to let a bit of the lighter mood wash over her. She relaxed her shoulders and forced herself to let go of the beanbag chair.
"First rule- and really, the only rule," continued Becky. "Is that this is a judgement free zone. Anything we say in here stays in here, and I can promise that me and the lovely facilitators have seen and heard it all, so no one needs to be embarrassed about coming to us with any questions, comments or concerns."
All of the women nodded, unable to suppress their smiles at the high school-esque feeling of being told the rules. None of them had anything against the rules, of course- like Alyssa, the thought of having guidelines and reassurance actually made some of the nerves lift off their nervous shoulders.
The rest of the time was spent getting to know one another- there were no real talks or activities planned until the next week.
Alyssa mostly spent the time lingering by the snack table, eating the occasional doughnut and watching the other women talk to each other. She had a brief but pleasant conversation with Julie, and a longer one with Morgan.
The woman was a little younger than Alyssa was, but her personality was the perfect combination of quiet and goofy to make the shy woman relax even further. She found herself laughing at Morgan's jokes, and her eyes only occasionally flicked down to look, fascinated, at Morgan's collar. The thin strip of brown leather was cinched firmly around the woman's neck, not too tight that it would interfere with her breathing, but tight enough that Morgan could always feel it, could never forget that it was there.
Alyssa couldn't help but think that it was a reminder, of Morgan's dominant's claim to her.
Morgan snatched Alyssa's phone out of her hands and plugged in her number before heading over to the other side of the room to introduce herself to Tierna.
"How are you doing?"
Alyssa turned around to the sound of Becky's voice. The dominant woman put a gentle hand on Alyssa's shoulder, and her smile was just as gentle.
Alyssa shrugged, and picked at her fingernails. Instinctively, Becky moved her hand down from the submissive's shoulder and took her hand, stopping her from messing with her fingernails, already jagged with the remnants of stress.
"Are you still a bit anxious?"
Becky seemed to be reading Alyssa like a book, and the younger woman nodded in response to the question.
"I know I shouldn't be," she said. "You guys all seem so nice, but..."
She trailed off, shrugging again, and Becky gently squeezed her hand before letting it go. Immediately, Alyssa wished that she had the older woman's strong hand back in her own- she hadn't realized how steadying the small gesture was until it was gone.
"It's okay," said Becky. "You're allowed to be anxious, Alyssa. This is a scary thing, but I'm proud of you for coming out today."
"Thanks," said Alyssa. "I almost didn't."
"Why did you, then?"
It wasn't an accusative or angry question- it was out of genuine curiosity. Alyssa could tell.
"I... I don't know," she said. "I just... I thought I should."
Becky raised her eyebrows- she could tell that there was something more that had drawn Alyssa out today, but she wasn't going to press the girl too far.
"Alyssa," said the dominant woman, clicking her tongue in thought. "I normally wouldn't do this- this is normally a week three activity, but I think that you could benefit from starting a bit early. I'm not going to pressure you, but I want you to spend some time watching some dominants and submissives in the club. Different ones- I just want you to start seeing all the different forms that these relationships can take."
Alyssa's mouth dropped open a little bit, and her eyebrows furrowed in surprise.
"But-" she started to protest, but stopped when Becky put her gentle hand back on Alyssa's shoulder.
"I promise," she said. "That people here are so accommodating and understanding. I'm going to talk to Ali, and see if she and Ashlyn would be okay with you watching in on one of their... sessions, shall we say. I know you've met them already, so that would probably be a comfortable place to start. If money's an issue, I'll make sure all the receptionists know to just let you in. Does that sound... does that sound okay?"
Alyssa wasn't sure- she cast a quick glance across the room at Ali, who was chatting with Emily, and felt a blush rise to her cheeks as she imagined what she might see from the older couple, when they were fully acting in their roles as dominant and submissive, rather than just wives. The thought embarrassed her, sure, but it also lit a fire of curiosity in her brain.
"Okay," she said, then gripped the edge of the snack table for support as Becky dashed off to talk to Ali.
Chapter 7: Cinderella
Oh my gosh, it's been way too long since I updated this! But I'm back, hello, my lovelies!
Ali had, of course, agreed to Becky's suggestion enthusiastically. She hadn't talked directly to Alyssa about it, instead using Becky as a messenger, saving Alyssa from the awkwardness of talking to her about it directly. The older woman had come back over to where Alyssa waited, still by the snack table, blushing furiously and looking anywhere but at Ali. She could feel Becky' approaching her, and somehow it took a little bit of the tension in her limbs away.
"Ali and Ash are down for whenever," said the dominant, her voice calming even as she said the terrifying words, that Alyssa wasn't sure if she had wanted to hear or not. "They were already planning on coming in tonight, though, so if that works for you..."
Becky trailed off, question implicit as Alyssa nodded, wheels turning in her head, screaming at her to stop nodding! She had thought that she'd have a little more time to process this, but then Becky had already given Ali a thumbs up from across the room, and the young submissive's fate was sealed.
"They'll be here around midnight," said Becky, popping the last powdered doughnut into her mouth and tossing the now-empty box into the recycling bin. "Just text me if your plans change, okay?"
Becky was giving her an out- now, Alyssa just needed to see if she would take it.
She took the long way home, walking far more slowly than she usually would.
Amanda didn't press her to talk about what she had been doing during the day during dinner, though she did give her twin a vaguely threatening look when Alyssa picked absently at her food, scooting it around her plate rather than eating it.
"Lys," she said, piling more food onto her sister's plate, hoping that it would encourage her to eat. "I don't know what's bothering you, but not eating won't help anything."
Reluctantly, Alyssa shoveled a forkful of mixed vegetables into her mouth and forced herself to swallow, just to get Amanda to stop looking at her. Her sister knew that there was something up with her- and she knew that she had been bothered the previous night when she had told her about her classification. Really, it was only a matter of time before Amanda guessed it.
"Alyssa," said her twin, and the other Naeher sister raised her head at the sound of a metal fork suddenly hitting their wooden dining table with a clatter. Amanda was looking at her, eyebrows raised but eyes soft as she reached out a hand. Her palm covered the back of her twin's hand, and Alyssa tried to avoid her eyes.
"Hey," said Amanda quietly, not forcing anything as Alyssa quickly looked back down at a point a little left of her plate, where there was one empty spot, the one bite of food she had taken. "Lys, I know you're upset. But I need you to remember something, okay?"
Alyssa's voice was barely a whisper, but Amanda heard her clear as day anyway.
"You can always talk to me, okay? About anything."
Alyssa nodded, and both sisters returned to their food. Alyssa took another forkful, chewing and swallowing. The vegetables, at least, tasted a little less like cardboard now.
As the hours ticked closer and closer to midnight, Alyssa felt more and more like Cinderella. If Cinderella hadn't known if she even wanted to go to the ball, and had been seriously considering her fairy godmother to come and pick her up early. Or to just not bother with the pumpkin carriages and glass slippers in the first place, and let her fall asleep by the fireplace.
By the time it was 10:30, she had drafted at least four different cancellation texts to Becky, telling her that she had the plague. Or that she had a family emergency. Or that her apartment building had exploded, and asking the older woman to apologize to Ashlyn and Ali for any inconvenience she may have caused them. Yet, something kept her from pressing send.
The invisible string of curiosity, pulling her back again, dragging her the few blocks back towards the club.
So, by 11:30, she was dressed again, hair up in her usual ponytail, and headed for the front door. Her flat black boots sounded against the tiled floor of the apartment's kitchen, and she tried to quiet them so that Amanda wouldn't question her. She knew, really, that her sister wouldn't make her tell her anything if she didn't want to, but any interaction might make her change her mind.
She managed to get through the apartment without drawing Amanda's attention, and shut the door behind her, leaning against it for a second. Her mind screamed at her to go back inside, to abandon this... insanity. What was she doing? What was she thinking?
The bottoms of her boots tapped lightly on the stairs as she walked down them, clutching the railing for support and feet compelling her forwards towards the club.
It looked the same as it had the previous night- darker, more foreboding than it had seemed during the day. But still, there was a light emanating through the shaded window, calling to her. Even though she had gone through those doors twice before, her hand still shook slightly as she pushed them open and stepped through.
11:45, said the clock on the wall. She was early.
It wasn't Rose at the desk, and that little fact didn't do anything to steady Alyssa's nerves. Something in her mind had been hoping that everything would be exactly the same as the previous night. But this woman had her blonde hair down around her shoulders, boots up on her desk as she thumbed through what looked like a romance novel. Alyssa stood there for several seconds before the anxious tapping of her feet got the woman's attention.
"Hey," she said brightly, bringing her boots back down to rest under the desk and sliding a bookmark between the pages of her novel. "Sorry about that! I was just getting to the good part! I hope you haven't been waiting long."
Alyssa shook her head, sensitive ears on high alert as she listened to the sounds coming from behind the beaded curtain. Even though she now knew what lay behind it, they didn't sound any less mystic and foreboding. A chatter, with none of the words audible as anything but a buzz.
"Have you been here before?"
She nodded at the woman's question, and whispered her name when it was requested. The receptionist's face broke into a smile as she placed Alyssa's valuables in the same cubby where they had gone the previous night.
"Ah," she said. "Becky told me to expect you. Just head on in!"
Alyssa was about to protest, shoving a twenty forwards, but the woman held up her hand.
"Not my choice, girl," she said, already picking her book back up. "Boss's orders. Go on in. Ali and Ashlyn are waiting for you in one of the back rooms."
Alyssa's blush deepened, filling her cheeks with scarlet. Even though she knew, really, that it couldn't be the case, it seemed like everyone was staring at her. That everyone, from the couples chatting in a similar circle to the one from the previous night, to the the short brunette woman counting out spanks as her blonde dominant chastised her for being a brat again, and the woman who had been on the ground the previous night kissing her dominant's heels, who was now sitting on the other woman's lap, head buried in her neck.
They all had to know why she was there. Somehow, they all knew.
The blonde receptionist hadn't specified which room she was supposed to meet Ali and Ashlyn in, but it wasn't hard to find. There was sound coming from behind Door Four- a woman's voice, sobbing and pleading as what could only be a whip cracked down onto her flesh, punishing her for some transgression that Alyssa would never know. The sound made her shudder, and she sped up slightly, heading towards the open door at the end of the hallway.
The sounds of the whipping faded as Alyssa left it behind, but it rung in her ears.
She slowed down again as she neared it, shudders worsening. There was a nervous lump in her throat that she couldn't seem to swallow around, and she peeked through the doorway to make sure that it was actually where she was supposed to be.
"Hey," came a voice, and her eyes caught on a hand, beckoning her in. "Alyssa! Come on in!"
Alyssa took a tiny step inside the doorway, trying her hardest not to look at the two women waiting for her.
The door shut behind her, with a click of finality.
"Alyssa," came Ashlyn's voice, steady and calm. "We're so glad that you agreed to this."
Alyssa caught Ali's nod of agreement from the corner of her eye, and the older submissive took two cautious steps towards her.
"I know that you must be nervous," said Ali. "I was, when I did this. I thought that I was going to be an interloper, unwelcome. But that's not how it was at all, for me."
Alyssa knew that Ali could feel her shaking, as the older woman placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. She tried to focus on Ali's fingertips, brushing over the cloth of her jacket. Ashlyn approached her carefully as well, only going further when Alyssa didn't push Ali away. The dominant's hand rested on her other shoulder, heavier than Ali's but just as gentle.
"We promise," said the blonde. "That you are not intruding. We are so happy to have you here, and if you ever feel uncomfortable, please tell us. We'll stop any time."
All Alyssa could do was nod, allowing Ali and Ashlyn's hands on her shoulders to center her, calm her.
Alyssa nodded again, and Ali brought her hand down to squeeze Alyssa's. Then Ali was gone, and the younger woman could hear her light footsteps retreating towards the center of the room. Ashlyn stayed by her side for another moment, repeating Ali's gesture.
"Alyssa," she said, allowing a dominant timbre to creep into her voice. "Will you look up, please?"
The younger couldn't help but obey, shivers running up and down her spine. Her eyes adjusted to the room around her, and her jaw dropped.
Chapter 8: Voir
She didn't know where to look first- her eyes caught on every little thing, her brain struggling to absorb all the sights around her.
This room looked a little bit more like what she had expected from the room the previous night, although still not quite as intense as she had thought she might find.
The walls were lined with hooks, filled with implements of pleasure and torture. On one hook, there was a pouch which contained several different sizes of riding crops- everything from silly ones shaped like hearts to more severe ones, black and braided. On another, a harsh-looking wooden paddle that made her ass hurt just by looking at it. A drawer was open, but Alyssa couldn't see what was inside of it. There were no chains, but there was one whip- a short one, two pronged, ready to crack down on a submissive's back and punish them for whatever the dominant deemed appropriate.
On the same chest of drawers, there was a bottle of water, as well as what appeared to be a granola bar. There was a beanbag chair placed at the side of the room, presumably for Alyssa's use, and a chair in the center of the room, similar to the one that Christie had sat on the previous night.
There was a selection of variously sized dildos, resting beside Ashlyn's bag- they had brought them themselves. Also brought with them was a vibrator, and what appeared to be a set of nipple clamps.
Once Alyssa's eyes had taken in all the sights in the room, the BDSM implements that Ashlyn was examining, her eyes drifted and locked onto Ali, preparing herself for the scene.
The older submissive's dark hair was up in a high ponytail, just like Alyssa's own. She was still fully clothed, and she smiled reassuringly at Alyssa. Her collar was still as loose as it had been earlier today, just enough to remind her that it was there. She was lingering around the chair, still on her feet, but barefoot as she waited for her dominant.
The sound of Ashlyn's low-heeled boots tapped across the wood floor, drawing Alyssa's attention to her. The blonde woman was still smiling, but her gaze was slightly more mischievous and commanding than it had been earlier. She turned her attention over to Alyssa, still standing silently beside the closed door, mouth slightly open.
"Alyssa," she said, and the younger woman's eyes locked onto hers, unable to look away, completely focused on what the elder was saying.
Ashlyn pointed towards the beanbag chair, raising her eyebrows.
Her voice wasn't harsh or angry, but it did contain an implicit command. Alyssa knew, really, that Ashlyn wasn't her dominant, and that she didn't have to sit on the beanbag if she didn't want to, but the shivers running up and down her spine made her forget that. She obeyed the dominant's direction, sinking down into the place reserved for her to sit and watch.
Ali was suppressing a smile, and Ashlyn's eyes turned abruptly kinder as she looked at Alyssa.
"Good girl," she said. "And remember, if anything makes you uncomfortable, I want you to tell me. Understood?"
Alyssa nodded silently, the shivers making their rounds again at Ashlyn's praise. Then, the dominant turned her attention to Ali, still lingering near the chair as she waited for her dominant to focus on her.
"Do you remember your safeword, love?"
Ali nodded in answer to her dominant's question.
"Yes, ma'am. It's Storm."
Ashlyn smiled, pulling her wife in for a deep kiss, running a hand through the strands of hair making up her long ponytail.
"Good girl," she praised as they broke the kiss. "Now, on your knees."
Ali obeyed immediately, sinking down until her knees met the soft mat placed in from of the chair. Her back was to Alyssa, and the younger woman could see the gentle curve of her muscles beneath her tank top. Ashlyn stroked Ali's cheek, then reached down to tighten her submissive's collar around her neck.
"Is it too tight, pet?"
"No, ma'am," said Ali, voice relaxed and focused on the task of answering her dominant.
"Good," said Ashlyn. "Now, are you going to be a good girl, show our guest how good you can be?"
Ali answered in the affirmative, and her dominant stroked her cheek again, whispering something into her ear that Alyssa couldn't hear.
"Clothes off," said Ashlyn, playing with Ali's collar absently. "Don't worry about folding them, love."
Alyssa was blushing moreso than Ali as the older submissive obeyed, pulling off her tank top and jeans, leaving her just in her bra and panties. Even though the younger woman couldn't see Ali's breasts, just the clasp of her bra, she felt the heat fill her cheeks as her eyes raked across the ripples and dips of the older woman's back. Ali's eyes were fixed on a point near Ashlyn's shoe, and the dominant looked over to where Alyssa sat, frozen.
"Isn't she pretty?"
Alyssa couldn't do anything but nod, eyes flickering back and forth between Ashlyn and Ali. She didn't know which one entranced her more- Ashlyn was standing so tall, so prominent and powerful. Her tattoos and muscles made her look rough, but her eyes were kind, and filled with love whenever they locked on Ali. The submissive, for her part, was quietly confident, submissive but straight-backed posture not giving the impression that she thought of herself as lesser than her dominant, even with her eyes fixed on the floor.
"I think so too," said the dominant. "She's my pretty girl. Aren't you, pet?"
Ashlyn sat down in the chair in front of Ali, waiting for a response to her rhetorical question. She didn't take long to answer, nodding along with her words.
Ashlyn pointed to the floor with one finger, and Ali immediately sprung into action, undoing the laces of her dominant's boots and pulling them off. She placed them neatly beside the chair, and Ashlyn nodded in approval.
"Pet," said the dominant, unbuttoning her jeans and tossing them into the corner. "Have you been a good girl lately?"
It was a question that Ashlyn knew the answer to- she was always watching her submissive as their daily lives went on, saving up Ali's behavior in a mental file, only wanting to punish her for what was necessary. But, her submissive's answer would determine how much harsher the punishment was.
"Mostly, ma'am," said Ali. The submissive's voice wasn't shaking- that was just Alyssa, heart speeding up as she watched, mesmerized, waiting for how Ashlyn would respond to that.
The dominant smiled at her submissive, placing a hand underneath Ali's chin and bending down to kiss her gently.
"That's right," she said. "You've been a fairly good girl this week. Do you remember what you did wrong?"
Ali nodded silently, returning her gaze to the floor. Alyssa could feel her blush, see a little bit on the back of her neck.
"I disobeyed you, ma'am," she whispered. Her shoulders started to slump in shame, but Ashlyn immediately reached for the riding crop by the foot of her chair. Alyssa expected her to slap Ali with it, but the dominant instead used it to correct Ali's posture, holding it tightly in her hand and running it up her back.
"Posture, girl," she said. "You know better."
Ali's flush deepened as she snapped back up, obeying the pressure of the implement and straightening her back. Ashlyn kept the crop between Ali's shoulder blades, ensuring that she didn't slump again while she looked over at Alyssa, smiling gently at the younger woman.
"She is always," she said. "To keep her back straight when she's submitting to me."
She returned her attention to Ali, bringing the crop down lightly on her shoulder blades.
"You're right," she said to her submissive. "I asked you to empty the dishwasher on Monday, and it didn't get done until Wednesday. I know you're busy, love, but I also know that you could have found five minutes to do that."
Ali nodded, and Alyssa could tell that she was resisting the urge to slump again, in shame. Ashlyn reached over to her other side, picking up a wooden paddle, with fabric covering part of it to dull the sting. It wasn't for severe punishments, then, but it still looked wicked and harsh to Alyssa. She tried not to think about how, in just a few moments, it would be crashing down against Ali's ass, correcting her for neglecting to obey Ashlyn's instructions earlier in the week.
"Over my lap," said Ashlyn, and Ali scurried to obey. There were no arms on the chair, allowing the submissive to drape herself over her dominant's lap. She was facing towards Alyssa, and met the younger submissive's eyes. Alyssa hadn't even realized that she was shaking a little bit until Ali nodded reassuringly at her.
It's okay, her eyes said.
Ali lowered her eyes again as Ashlyn rubbed her shoulders, then abruptly pulled down her panties. Alyssa couldn't see the older woman's ass, but her eyes were locked on the panties as Ashlyn tossed them aside. Ali had relaxed completely, trusting Ashlyn to hold her up, to keep her steady.
"You were mostly a good girl this week," she said. "So you're only getting five hits with my hand, and two with the paddle. Can you count them for me? Show Alyssa that you can be good while you're getting punished?"
"Yes, ma'am," she said. "I can count for you."
Without any further warning, Ashlyn brought her hand down on Ali's ass. The older woman bit her lip, but quickly counted the first spank. And the four after that, the others with Ashlyn's hand. The dominant's world was reduced to the woman on her lap, entirely focused on her, ensuring that she taught her her lesson without hurting her ass too badly. Ali's job was largely done at a desk, and she didn't want her wife to be distracted during the day.
"Five, thank you ma'am," said Ali, and Ashlyn stroked her hair gently before picking up the paddle.
"Continue counting," she ordered. "Start with six."
Ali nodded in understanding, and then the paddle was coming down onto her ass. The submissive gasped sharply, but counted the stroke. Her eyes were glistening as Ashlyn delivered the last blow, the wood smacking down against her submissive's ass.
It took Ali a second to count it, but she did manage to get out the number seven.
Ashlyn pulled Ali up into her arms, kissing the beginnings of tears away and stroking her hair.
"Good girl," she cooed. "That's my good girl, you took your punishment so well. All's forgiven."
Ali nodded into Ashlyn's neck, and for the first time Alyssa worried that she might be intruding. The moment was so... intimate, so gentle and loving, that she had to close her eyes and turn away. There was the sound of a water bottle, Ashlyn feeding Ali a sip to refresh her.
Alyssa kept her eyes diverted from the couple until Ashlyn's voice broke through to her, addressing her softly.
"Alyssa," she said, gentle but firm. "Look at us."
She didn't phrase it as a question this time, and the younger submissive obeyed quickly. Ali was still sitting on Ashlyn's lap, but her dominant had turned her around so that she was straddling her left leg. Ashlyn's hands were helping her stay upright, and she was leaning back against the dominant's chest, eyes red and shifting uncomfortably as her beaten ass rubbed against Ashlyn's leg.
Alyssa tried not to look at where Ali and Ashlyn's skin met- she really tried. She tried to focus on Ali's face, or even her lacy bra, but she found her eyes drifting downward. Ali's bare pussy was spread across Ashlyn's leg, and her hips were canting unconsciously forward. Ashlyn brought her hand down and smacked it gently, nails brushing across the skin of her own leg.
"Keep still, pet."
Ali bit her lip, but stilled her hips- the pleasure wasn't hers to take, it was her job to wait for her dominant to give it to her. Both women were looking at Alyssa, gauging her reaction.
"Are you still okay?"
Ashlyn's voice was slightly concerned, eyes fixed on Alyssa's bright red face and parted lips. She had started to rub her legs together, unconsciously, unable to deny that her pussy was throbbing.
"Yes," she whispered, the first word she'd spoken since the women had begun their scene. Ashlyn smiled, moving her fingers across Ali's swollen clit.
"You're allowed to enjoy watching her," said the dominant. "She's my good girl, and she loves it when I make her cum. Don't you, pet?"
Ali nodded eagerly, squeezing her pussy and trying to get Ashlyn's fingers inside of her.
Ashlyn winked at Alyssa, then returned her attention completely to Ali. She guided her submissive backwards a bit, allowing her to slip two fingers inside. She stroked her wife's inner walls, enjoying the sweet noises falling from Ali's lips and slipping a third into the submissive's wet channel.
"Do my fingers feel good inside of you, pet?"
Ali tossed her head back, riding Ashlyn's fingers with no care for her bruised ass. Her mouth was slightly open, but no sound was coming out. Until Ashlyn removed her fingers, causing Ali to whimper at the loss.
"I asked you a question, pet," said the dominant. "Answer me."
Ali nodded, and Alyssa could see the damp patch on the front of Ashlyn's panties.
"Yes, ma'am," she keened, squeezing her pussy muscles, hole begging for her wife's fingers to return. "Your fingers feel so good inside of me!"
Alyssa watched, entranced, as Ashlyn plunged the three fingers back into Ali's pussy. A faint buzzing sound alerted the younger woman to the arrival of a vibrator, which had appeared out of seemingly nowhere, and was pressed to Ali's swollen clit, coaxing her closer to an orgasm.
"Good girl," Ashlyn praised as Ali's hips jutted forward involuntarily, begging for the release that she could only achieve with her dominant's permission. The blonde pulled the bullet vibrator away from Ali's pussy and pressed it to her own, mouth falling open in pleasure. Alyssa was squeezing her thighs together without even realizing what she was doing, feeling bits of fluid drip out of her pussy and into her panties.
"Normally," said Ashlyn, voice breathless with pleasure as she fingered Ali with one hand and fucked herself shallowly with the vibrator with the other. "I'd fuck her pussy with one of those."
She gestured towards the line of dildos that Alyssa had forgotten were there, but the young submissive's eyes only flicked over to them for a second before returning to watching Ali, transfixed by the way she moved, pleasure subject to Ashlyn's desires.
"But," grunted the dominant, biting gently on Ali's shoulder when the submissive made a particularly loud keening noise, pleading to cum without speaking. "Tonight, I want to feel her cum all over my leg. Did you hear that, pet? You can cum whenever you need. Just remember to-"
Whatever Ashlyn had been about to say was cut off when Ali moaned, tossing her head back as a wave of slick coated Ashlyn's fingers and thigh.
"Fuck," she gasped. "Th-Thank you, ma'am! Thank you!"
Alyssa was so focused on watching Ali orgasm that she almost missed it when Ashlyn grunted, pulling her fingers out of Ali's spasming pussy and using the dripping digits to tug on her wife's collar.
The two women came down from their highs together, and Alyssa once again felt like she was almost intruding. Ashlyn set the vibrator aside and turned Ali in her lap so that she could kiss her deeply, then prompted her to keep her mouth open. Ashlyn slid her fingers into Ali's mouth, and the submissive licked them clean, running her tongue between them until she had gotten every last drop of her own slick.
"Good girl," cooed Ashlyn, stroking her wife's hair absently. Ali kissed her on the cheek and then got up from her lap. She fetched her panties and pulled them on as Ashlyn, too, rose and began cleaning up their implements. The ones they had used went in a bin by the door, while the clean ones were returned to their proper places. Ali, still flushed and breathing heavily, made her way over to where Alyssa sat, impossibly aroused and equal parts frightened and intrigued by what she had just witnessed.
"How are you doing?"
Ali's voice had shifted, from the submissive timbre back to the voice that she had used earlier in the day, during group. Alyssa tried her utmost to look at the woman's face, or even at a point on the wall, just to avoid looking at Ali's damp panties and push-up bra.
Alyssa found herself speechless. She had no idea what she wanted to say, or ask, and so she just stuttered until Ali laughed gently.
"It's okay," she said. "If you don't quite have words yet. But I just want to warn you, Becky's going to text you later to ask what you thought. You did so good, and thank you for trusting us."
Ashlyn repeated the sentiment from across the room, where she was busy returning her and Ali's personal collection of objects to their bag.
As Alyssa stood up to leave, Ali put a gentle hand on her shoulder once again.
"Not every relationship looks the same," she said. "What me and Ash do isn't what everyone does. It's okay to still be figuring it out."
Alyssa whispered her thanks before scurrying out the door and through to the reception area, where she collected her things and was off for home like a shot. She waved apologetically to her new acquaintances, including Morgan and Julie, as she dashed off. She felt bad not to be staying to socialize with the women, but she had several pressing matters to attend to, lots to think about.
She forced herself to ignore everything as she walked home, still dripping into her panties as the sight of Ali and Ashlyn lingered in her mind. But, once she was in bed, she stared at the ceiling and allowed herself to think.
As she sneaked a hand between her legs and started rubbing furiously at her clit, she didn't know which image was more prominent. Ashlyn, giving gentle orders and bringing Ali to her peak, dominant but not cruel. Or Ali, so... relaxed, and peaceful as she trusted Ashlyn to take control away from her, guide her and pleasure her, and bring her back to earth.
She bit her lip to keep from crying out as she came, two fingers in her pussy and her thumb roughly rubbing her stiff clit. As she came down from the powerful orgasm, she couldn't help but let her mind drift places that suddenly seemed... frighteningly less frightening.
In her mind, she was on her knees, completely naked with her face buried between someone's thighs. Even in her state of exhaustion, halfway between waking and sleeping, she knew that she was eating her dominant's pussy, and that the moaned praises from the woman being pleasured made her swell up with pride in herself. A gentle hand tugged at her imaginary collar, guiding her movements, and when she came up for air her eyes locked onto a familiar pair.
"Good girl," crooned the voice in mind, so new and frightening yet so familiar and safe. "That's my good little one."
When Alyssa woke the next morning to the sound of her phone alarm beeping, it was with damp thighs, spread open and unconsciously begging for something inside. She couldn't remember the details of the dream, but the pounding ache between her spread legs told her that it had been a good one, full of wandering hands and a sweet voice crooning sweet words and the hands bringing her pleasure enough to dampen the sheets beneath her. Her alarm clock was blaring, telling her that it was time to start getting ready for another day at work, but still she took a moment to lie back, and let the events of last night wash over her.
Had that really happened? Had she really, less than twelve hours ago, been sitting, humiliatingly enraptured, on a beanbag chair in a BDSM club watching two women she had only met the previous day in an incredibly intimate act? Had she really seen Ali kneel before Ashlyn, obeying her and taking the punishment that her dominant had doled out like a good girl? As she had been leaving the room, Ashlyn had been pulling Ali into her arms and stroking her back and hair, whispering comforts and praises not meant for Alyssa to eavesdrop on. And then she had come home, and she had chewed on her lip, trying not to cry out as she arched her back and clenched around her own fingers, coming hard to the memory of the two gorgeous women, one dominating the other in a way that was beginning to fascinate her more and more.
Her alarm buzzed again, reminding her that it was Monday, and Alyssa groaned, reaching for the snooze button to shut the thing off. She pulled herself out of bed and towards the shower, hoping that the water would snap her out of it, and that she would be able to focus on her work, and not let her mind drift back to the club.
An hour and a half later, Alyssa was trying not to grind her teeth down to stubs in frustration, and dread, as her class of twenty two fourth graders charged into the classroom with the 9 am bell. They mingled for a moment, only finding their seats when the loudspeaker came on, the same bored voice as always reading the lunch menu, and any other news that a school full of children might possibly find interesting. Alyssa shushed them out of habit when they talked over the announcements, even though she didn't care much more than they did about what was cooking in the cafeteria right now.
She loved her job, really. Just not so much on Monday mornings. And not so much when her shower had failed to take her mind off what the weekend had brought. Also, how were kids somehow so awake at nine in the morning?
"Okay guys," she said, once the announcements had wrapped up, trying to keep her voice bubbly and happy- just because she was distracted and exhausted didn't mean she had to spread it to the kids in the five clusters of desks in front of her. "Can you all take out your copies of The Giver? We're going to do a popcorn read of the next chapter, and then I have a question for you guys to write an answer to!"
Luckily, only three kids had forgotten their books (the record high was eight), and so Alyssa didn't have to lend out her own copy, and could read along with them. One of the girls in the front cluster of desks raised her hand, volunteering to start the read, and Alyssa let her eyes slide across the pages along with her students'.
Reading typically helped her keep her cool, keep her anxiety at bay, but today, unfortunately, it had rather the opposite effect. Reading along with the squeaky voices of the person going next, Alyssa thought back to the bookshop where she had first, unknowingly, met Becky. And that just sent her mind further, because Ali had told her that Becky was probably going to text her later today just to see how she had managed watching the couple engage with each other.
Her phone was on silent, as it always was during teaching hours, but she couldn't help but let her eyes flick over towards where it lay, on the stack of papers that she had meant to grade over the weekend, but had absolutely forgotten about. There were absolutely no texts there.
"Popcorn... Miss Naeher!"
The sound of her own name forced Alyssa's eyes back onto the paper as she picked up where the boy at Cluster Three had left off. She knew that her voice was shakier than usual, and she was just regurgitating the words off the page, not really reading them as she normally would. She stumbled over her own tongue a bit as she glanced quickly back at her cell phone, waiting for the promised text.
She barely got through a paragraph before popcorn-ing it off to one the kids at Cluster Four, who groaned in annoyance but continued the chapter anyway.
It wasn't until the kids were working on their responses to a (hopefully thought provoking- for a fourth grader) question about the text that Alyssa was able to sneak another glance at her cellphone, beating herself up inside her head for being a bad teacher. She was sure Ms. Hinkle in the other fourth grade classroom would have no trouble telling her off if she happened to walk by and see Alyssa stealing furtive glances at the screen which would usually remain in her desk drawer for the entire six hours that she was in charge of the kids.
There was a text, but it was just from Amanda, asking her to pick up toilet paper on the way home.
She gritted her teeth as the beginnings of chatter alerted her to the fact that her kids were beginning to finish their assignment, hopping up from their desks to pile them on her desk.
Alyssa loved her kids (most of the time), but that didn't mean she wasn't relieved when the time came to hand them off to the lunch and recess monitors. She had an hour before she had to pick them up from the playground.
She would normally use that hour to catch up on work (like grading those math tests that she was supposed to have done by today), but the moment the kids were gone, she found herself reaching for her phone, both hoping and dreading that Becky would have texted her. And, when she saw the icon telling her she had a new message, a pit in her stomach opened up, biting her lip as she unlocked her phone.
The pit only deepened when she saw that the text was not from Amanda. The text was not from Morgan, who she had been casually texting since they met at the group, nor was it from her sister Abigail, or either of her parents, or even one of her fucking co-workers.
This time, the text was from Becky.
She chewed harder on her lip as she opened the text, looking at it through half-shut eyes.
Becky: Hey! Ali texted me earlier, and from her POV everything went really well! How did it go for you?
Alyssa unconsciously ran her fingers through the top of her ponytail as she thought about how she should respond. It had gone well, but just saying that seemed like... too little. And she didn't want to accidentally give the older woman too much information, or not enough information. God, she thought to herself as the third graders came back from their own recess, texting has never been this hard before!
Despite what people might have thought from looking at her, Alyssa was a good texter. She had difficulty, sometimes, having conversations face-to-face, and having the buffer of a screen, and time to think about her response, made it so much easier. Well, until now.
Finally, she came up with what she thought was a (hopefully) good response.
Alyssa: Ali's right, it all went great! They were both very welcoming and kind.
Becky responded right away- she had clearly been waiting by her phone for Alyssa to respond to her text. And, for some reason, that gave the younger woman a fuzzy sense of happiness in her chest.
Becky: Oh my gosh, that's so good to hear! I was hoping to discuss it with you a bit further, if that's alright with you?
The fuzzy, strange feeling in Alyssa's chest deepened, combining with the nervous pit in her stomach to form a whole mess of emotions, which came to the surface in the form of a blush. The blood rose to her cheeks, coloring them a light red.
Alyssa: Okay! What night works best for you?
Becky: Well, I wanted to see you before the weekend's group, but I know that can be hard because you probably have a job. So, I was wondering if you were available to get dinner with me? We could talk about it then, because I'm thinking about if I want you to watch anyone else this Saturday night.
Before Alyssa could respond to the latest text, another one appeared on her screen.
Becky: If that's okay? If not, I totally understand.
Alyssa's heart was pounding, louder than the impatient tapping feet of her students on Friday afternoons. She read the text through several times, wondering if she had somehow misunderstood it. She had never imagined meeting with Becky- really, any of them!- outside of the confined, isolated, and somehow safe-feeling club. But now, Becky was asking her to meet outside that space, and despite the nervousness in her stomach gaining an edge over the excited butterflies in her chest, she found herself typing out her response, almost without thinking.
Alyssa: No, that's totally fine! Does Friday night work for you?
Becky: Absolutely! Maybe on the early side, so that I can be at the club for opening?
Alyssa: Sure! I'm flexible, just lmk
Becky: Can do! :)
The alarm on her phone beeped, telling her that it was time to start heading downstairs to pick up her kids- hopefully with their energy played out, rather than exacerbated- from recess. She cast a quick glance back at her phone, even though she didn't expect another text from Becky until it was time to start arranging concrete dinner plans, and let a secret smile slide onto her face.
Grading the math tests was monotonous, but it was easy monotony. It wasn't a show-your-work test, thank God, because then she would have to dig through the piles of messy handwriting for any points that she could possibly award her students for her work. It was a simple multiple choice, pick-the-right-answer test. Therefore, she could just go through with her answer key and red pen, marking wrong answers and letting her mind wander.
She knew it was premature, but she was already anticipating dinner with Becky. How low would she have to keep her voice, to keep the other customers from hearing what they were talking about? How much detail did the dominant expect her to go into? Where were they going to be going? And then, what should she wear? Why was she so nervous? Why was she so excited?
Why, when she had finally finished grading the math tests and collapsed into bed, did her mind wander back to where she had imagined herself last night, on her knees with her tongue buried in her dominant's pussy?
And why, why, did the hands guiding her make her feel so safe?
I don't know if any of y'all did popcorn reading in school, but that shit was crazy!
Chapter 10: Giddy
hi i'm back
"Becky! Hello, Becky? Anyone home?"
Heather had one elbow on Becky's desk, the other hand waving back and forth in front of her boss's unresponsive face. The other woman hadn't acknowledged her when she had first entered the room, the same dreamy expression staying glued to her face the entire time, and Heather was beginning to think that she could jump up and tap dance on the desk in her heeled boots and get the same welcome she was getting now.
"Rebecca Elizabeth Sauerbrunn!"
Heather snapped her fingers right in front of the other woman's nose and Becky jolted, shaking her head back and forth and banishing the memory of a soft, shy voice to the recesses of the back of her mind. Her blonde fishtail braid swung around and hit her cheek, stinging slightly and leaving a light red spot.
"Sorry, HAO," she said, blinking quickly and picking her pen off her desk, twirling it absently. "What did you want?"
Heather rolled her eyes, shaking her head while freeing her hair from its tight ponytail, letting it cascade once again down her back. She sighed in relief as the tension and pinching sensation left her head- she often wished that she could leave her hair down at work, but it just got in the way. The last thing she needed was to be bringing up a crop to land a blow and end up getting it tangled in her own hair. She crossed the room to her locker, looking over her shoulder at Becky as she continued speaking.
"I said, I'm clocking out. That was my last appointment for the night."
Becky nodded in acknowledgement as Heather opened her locker, replacing her severe looking faux leather boots with a pair of low-top converse sneakers. She pulled on her jacket and grabbed her purse, leaving the black boots in the cubby, where they would wait patiently until she returned to them the next night, once again slipping them on and entering Ground Zero.
"Who's still here?"
Heather rolled her eyes again- something must really be off with Becky tonight, normally the boss kept an eye on just about everything that went on around the club. There was clearly something on her mind- the day where Heather knew a club detail that Becky didn't was the day that Allie the receptionist showed up reading Tolstoy instead of one of her trashy romance novels where shirtless men graced the covers, joined by the buxom heroine of the story, always with windswept hair.
She supposed she would have to take a peek at the blonde's chosen reading material as she passed by the front desk on her way out.
"Abby," she said. "She's just finishing up with her last sub of the night. And Allie, of course. Christie left about an hour ago- remember, she told you that she had to? Reece isn't feeling well."
"Of course," said Becky, shaking her head like she remembered. Really, she did remember a conversation of the sort with Christie, but her brain had been too focused on a caramel colored ponytail and a light wash denim jacket to pay much attention.
Heather closed her locker with a bang, twirling the dial quickly to mess up the code, but instead of heading for the front door, she hopped up so that she was sitting on Becky's desk, blocking the other woman's computer screen.
"Okay," she said, raising her eyebrows. "What's up with you? Are you sick or something?"
Becky sighed, rubbing her temple. Her employees were so nosy sometimes. But, she had to admit, she did want to talk to someone about the face that had entered her dreams, and had been tormenting her for the past few nights with her low voice, rough as she pleaded for Becky's touch. Her cat didn't really count as a conversation partner, after all. Even though he was a better listener than most of the people she talked to on a daily basis.
"You don't look sick," continued Heather. "What's on your mind, boss?"
It felt like there was an anvil resting on Becky's tongue- she wanted to talk about Alyssa so badly, about how something about this girl seemed different, different from all the other nervous submissives that Becky had encountered in her time. How she had felt a little surge of nerves when she had entered the room the other day, for group, and had started hoping that the younger woman would like the donuts she picked up.
How, when she had first seen Alyssa, shaking in panic on the floor in front of Christie and recognized her as the girl from the bookshop- a girl who Becky had immediately pegged as needing something, even if she hadn't wanted to talk about it- her heart had filled with the pure instinct to protect her, to care for her and make sure the young submissive was okay, that nothing had happened to her.
And how her heart beat a little bit faster whenever her phone lit up with a text from Alyssa.
And suddenly, the thoughts were racing back through Becky's head, and she was chewing on her lip, and was sure that some of her nude lipstick had found its way to stain her lip, and yet she was smiling.
Heather grinned, kicking her legs excitedly as she took in the smile on her boss's face.
"Oh my God," she said, letting out an excited gasp. "You met someone, didn't you?"
Becky briefly considered trying to deny it, trying to explain away the reason for her smile as something cute her cat had done. But, if that was the case, then she would have already offered to show the inevitable video to everyone who entered her office.
When her boss didn't immediately deny it, Heather's smile grew wider.
"You did! Tell me about her!"
It was Becky's turn to roll her eyes, giving Heather a shake of her head. She messed with the ends of her braid, trying to avoid the burning gaze of her friend's excited eyes, but smiling secretly to herself.
"Okay," she said. "Just a little bit."
The week flew by in a flurry of runny noses, bits of pencil lead and futile attempts to get fourth graders to understand long division, and Alyssa was just as giddy as her students when the final bell rang, dismissing them to their weekend lives. Becky had texted her yesterday, asking if she knew of an out-of-the-way restaurant on Third Street called Pierre's.
Alyssa hadn't, but before she could Google it, the older woman had returned with another text.
Becky: It's not as fancy as it sounds, I promise. Crystal's husband owns it, I think you'll like it!
Alyssa had texted back her agreement, and she checked the text once more as she began her short drive home, ensuring that she hadn't made any mistakes about the timing, or the address, or any of the other tiny details that could ruin everything.
A quick Google search for the restaurant had told Alyssa that Becky was right- it certainly wasn't as fancy as the name suggested. It was also close to her apartment, and she couldn't help but feel a little flurry of warmth in her chest at the thought that maybe Becky had chosen the place because it would be convenient for her.
But, she thought to herself as she parked the car that she and Amanda shared, it's closer to the club. She probably just has to work later. That's all it is.
She called Amanda into her room, trying to ignore her twin's suppressed smile as she realized the reason she was there. The three different outfits spread out on Alyssa's bed told the story quite plainly.
"Oh my God," she grinned, giving up on hiding her smile. "Are you going on a date, Lyss?"
Alyssa blushed furiously, regretting her decision to ask Amanda for her opinion. She should have just texted Abigail instead- the youngest Naeher sister was less likely to ask questions, and more likely to just give advice. Maybe it came with motherhood...
"No," she said, shaking her head back and forth. Because this wasn't a date. She just wanted to make a good impression on the dominant who had been so good to her.
"I'm just meeting a..." she trailed off. She didn't quite know how to describe Becky to her twin. Friend didn't seem true- they barely knew each other after all. But her cheeks burned hotter at just the thought of telling Amanda who Becky really was. So, she settled for a partial truth.
"...a friend for dinner."
Amanda's grin told Alyssa that her sister didn't quite believe her, but she didn't say anything else about it, rather examined the outfits blanketing her twin's bed. Her eyes flicked back and forth across the options several times before she pointed to the one on the right, nearest Alyssa's headboard.
"This one," she said. "I love that top on you, and the pants make your ass look great!"
Alyssa blushed harder as she banished Amanda from her room, abandoning her work clothes in the hamper and pulling the dark green three-quarter sleeved shirt over her head. The jeans followed and she returned her hair to its typical ponytail, examining herself in the mirror. She didn't look... bad, exactly, but she couldn't help but think that something was missing.
Her jewelry box was sparse, and barely used, but once she blew the dust off the top and opened it, she found what she was looking for.
It was a short, thin necklace, with a small diamond birthstone pendant which rested just below the hollow of her neck. It lay against her skin, and somehow she felt a thousand times more confident with it around her neck. She slung her purse over her shoulder and emerged from her room.
"You look good," said Amanda, who had been lingering outside her twin's door. "I especially love the necklace. I remember, we were like thirteen when we got them."
Alyssa nodded, heading for the door to the outside. She remembered the birthday- both she and Amanda had been so excited to receive the necklaces, even though neither of them wore much jewelry. They had been symbols, really, of their parents' growing trust in their growing daughters, to keep something valuable safe. The necklaces had been longer, when they were thirteen, before Alyssa had grown about eight inches, her neck along with her body. Now, it was almost like a choker.
"Wait," said Amanda as her sister went to turn the doorknob, heart beginning to pound. "Let me try something."
Then, Amanda's hand was in Alyssa's hair, quickly but gently pulling out the black ponytail holder and letting her twin's mane fall down around her shoulders. Amanda fluffed it expertly, leaving most of it falling down Alyssa's back but pulling a few strands across to brush her ears and shoulders.
"There," she said. "Perfect. Whoever this friend is, she won't be able to take her eyes off you."
And then, she had shoved Alyssa out the door before her sister could protest.
Chapter 11: En Mangeant
French chapter titles as a way to keep being lazy about my chapter titles but make them sound ~fancy~
Calling myself out...
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Alyssa was, as always, chronically early. Normally, this was a good thing- especially for an elementary school teacher. However, this time, it was proving to be a bit of a problem.
She was lingering outside of Pierre's, blush growing deeper every second, as she waited for Becky to arrive. She knew, rationally, that everyone was far too busy with their own Friday nights to pay attention to what she was doing, but she still felt like everyone was staring at her as they walked past, thinking about what a loser she was- standing alone in front of a restaurant for what they would assume was a date who would never come. But, of course, Becky wasn't a date. And, she was going to show up.
Alyssa felt her phone buzz in her pocket, and pulled it out to find that Becky had sent her a text, telling her that she was almost there, and she would be arriving in just a few minutes. Alyssa played with a strand of her hair, pulling at it as she waited for Becky. As the minutes ticked by, the knot in her stomach started to re-tie itself, squeezing her chest with nerves. She had almost forgotten, really, why she was here.
She turned around, eyes immediately locking on Becky's form, approaching her from the corner of the street. The older woman was wearing a simple pair of black sneakers, and her hair was down just past her shoulders. Alyssa had no idea what she had been expecting, but it hadn't been this. She didn't know how it still surprised her, but Becky looked completely normal, just as she had the first time she had seen her, in the bookstore. Somehow, she had thought that Becky would be dressed in her club attire, ready to put a naughty submissive on her knees.
She was too busy being surprised to notice how the older woman's eyes locked onto the small necklace in the dip of her throat.
"Hi," said Alyssa, trying to will her blush away.
"Hey," said Becky, opening the restaurant door and gesturing Alyssa inside ahead of her. "Thanks for agreeing to meet me."
"Of course," said Alyssa quietly, as Becky gave her name to the hostess. The woman gestured them towards a table in the corner, leaving them with two menus and promising that their server would be with them in a moment.
"So," said Becky, as Alyssa hid the remnants of her blush behind the menu. "From what Ali told me, everything went great. I know that Ashlyn is an incredibly capable dom, and she and Ali would never let anything happen to any submissive who joined them, but I just wanted to ask you a little bit about what it was like for you?"
Alyssa nodded, filling up her glass with the pitcher of water on their table. She tossed a quick glance around them, making sure that there was no one within earshot, but still couldn't bring herself to open her mouth.
"Hey," said Becky, raising her eyebrows at the younger woman. "No one is listening to us. I promise, Alyssa."
Alyssa nodded again, around the lump in her throat, as their server returned to ask if they were ready to order. Once they had, Alyssa kept her eyes firmly locked on the table, trying to find the words to articulate exactly how she had felt while watching Ali and Ashlyn.
"Alyssa," said Becky. "Please look at me."
Slowly, Alyssa raised her eyes from counting the grooves in the wood which made up their table and focused on a point on Becky's forehead.
"We don't need to talk about it here if you don't want to. We can go to my office before the club opens. Tell me what you're feeling, hon."
Alyssa felt a little shiver run up her spine, the blush that had been slowly creeping back making a triumphant return in full force. She wasn't sure what she wanted, if she was being honest. On one hand, talking without the possibility of anyone overhearing them sounded nice... On the other, she wasn't sure if she would be any better at it there, without the tiny breaks provided by their meals to give her a chance to gather her thoughts.
"If it helps," continued Becky. "Everyone here is too absorbed in their own lives to be paying any attention to us. Trust me."
Alyssa swallowed around the anxious lump in her throat, nodding to show Becky that she understood what the older woman was saying. But, before she could respond, their waiter came by and asked them if they were ready to order. This pause gave Alyssa the time she needed to gather her thoughts, order some pasta, and steel herself to talk about her evening with Ali and Ashlyn.
"Okay," said Becky, looking back up at Alyssa after ordering her own food. "Do you want to talk here, honey?"
Alyssa nodded, but kept her mouth shut, eyes wide as she tried to find the words to discuss her experience. Becky seemed to be noticing her troubles, and so the dominant leaned forwards, examining Alyssa.
"Hon," she said. "Would it help you if I asked questions, and you answered them? I don't want this to stress you out."
Alyssa nodded again, because that sounded just about perfect. Questions, she could do.
"Good," said Becky, with a smile that made Alyssa blush a little more, the redness spreading down to her neck and brushing against the chain of the necklace she was wearing. Becky's eyes followed it for a quick second, before she returned to gazing into Alyssa's.
"So, first, I'd ask you- did you enjoy it?"
Alyssa's cheeks burned, and she took a bite of her pasta and a drink of the ice water before answering. Her cup was almost empty, and Becky reached forwards and refilled it for her, sending new water crashing down over the slowly melting ice cubes. Some people ate their ice, so they could put in new when they refilled their glasses, but Alyssa wasn't one of them. She swallowed around the mouthful of liquid and began answering the dominant's question.
"I did," she whispered, not quite able to meet Becky's eyes as she thought back to nearly a week prior, when she had sat in the beanbag and watched as Ali submitted to her wife. The sensuality and sexuality of it was something that she still thought about every night- hearing Ashlyn's firm but gentle voice, seeing Ali on her knees, smelling the tang of their arousal as they came, one after the other... She had liked it, and she had liked it a lot.
She could feel, more than see, Becky nodding as she examined the remaining noodles on her plate. The woman didn't seem to be judging her, just looking at her carefully, making sure that she was alright to keep talking. After a few moments, Becky must have decided that she was, because she continued with the questioning.
"I'm glad," she said. "What did you like most about it?"
At this question, Alyssa's mind returned once more to the scene, replaying it for what had to be the hundredth time in her mind's eye. There were so many moments that had made her shiver, both because of her arousal and because of how connected the two women were, Ashlyn anticipating Ali's needs before the submissive seemed to know them herself, and Ali trusting Ashlyn so completely to take care of her, without a hint of hesitation.
"I... I don't know," she finally responded, still looking at her noodles. Her shame was growing, a nasty knot in the pit of her stomach that had nothing to do with the food, and everything to do with wishing she had a better answer for Becky. The dominant's senses were tingling as she examined Alyssa.
"Alyssa," she said. "Will you look at me, please?"
This wasn't a command- Alyssa was free to refuse, to continue looking at the table. But, the second the request came from Becky's mouth, Alyssa knew that she would obey. It took her several seconds to gather up the courage to tear her eyes away from her half-full dinner plate and raise her eyes, inch by inch, until they had come to rest, locked with Becky's.
It wasn't the first time their eyes had locked this evening, but it felt like it, from the way the dominant's gaze searched the submissive's, examining her eyes for apprehension, fear, or any other emotion that she would have to address if they were to get anywhere in this conversation.
"Good girl," she said, giving Alyssa a smile. "Now, can you listen to me for a moment?"
Alyssa nodded, ears still processing the two words which had slipped from Becky's lips before the question.
They had sounded so... so natural, just like they had in her dreams. A shiver ran up her spine, and she automatically sat up a little straighter, the way Ali had when Ashlyn had used the riding crop to correct her posture. Becky thought she was a good girl...
The return of the dominant's voice snapped Alyssa out of her surprise. Becky sounded firm, but gentle, as if she knew that Alyssa might have a little trouble with what she was going to say next.
"I might be wrong about this," she said. "But I don't think I am. You don't have to tell me if I am or not, just let me finish, okay?"
Alyssa nodded again, grasping onto the calmness of Becky's face in an attempt to calm herself. She waited, and then the older woman continued.
"If you're ashamed," she said. "You don't have to be. You don't need to be ashamed of wanting this- physically, your body was built to want it. As long as you're being safe, you don't need to resist it. You don't need to fight it. You can tell me, I'm not going to judge you. Believe me, there's nothing I haven't heard before. Hell, I did this with Ali back when she had just gotten classified and I was just starting out as a professional. You don't need to be ashamed of this, Alyssa. Do you understand me?"
"Yes," whispered Alyssa, eyes still locked on Becky's calm ones. She barely managed to stop herself from adding ma'am to the end of the reply- because, of course, Becky was just a dom. Not her dom, and she hadn't been asked to call her anything other than her name.
"Good," said Becky with a smile. "So, do you want to tell me why you liked it?"
Fighting the urge to return her gaze to her pasta, Alyssa thought about it. She could lie, of course, and say that she had liked it simply because it had been hot- which was true. But, if she were being honest, that had been far from the only reason. Becky was looking at her patiently, smiling gently and taking a sip of her own water as she waited for Alyssa to answer her question.
Suddenly, the words just came tumbling out.
"It was beautiful," she said, voice low and shaking. "Ali just looked so... so peaceful, like she was letting herself go. And Ashlyn took such good care of her, and it just... it was so rough yet gentle at the same time, and I... and I..."
She wasn't sure what else she had planned to say, but the words got caught in her throat. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, trying to think of something else to say, but she just couldn't. Finally, Becky took over the conversation.
"I'm sure it was," she said. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."
The server came by, and Becky snatched the check from his hands before Alyssa could even reach for it. The younger woman opened her mouth to offer to pay for at least her own food, but Becky silenced her with a raised eyebrow.
"I've got this one, Alyssa," she said. "You were very brave, telling me what was on your mind. Let me treat you."
The thinly veiled praise made Alyssa blush again, withdrawing the hand that had begun to reach across the table towards Becky and putting it back in her lap. Once the bill was paid, Alyssa trailed after Becky out of the restaurant, watching her give a wave to a collared man who she assumed to be Crystal's husband, and stepped down onto the sidewalk. Checking her phone, she realized that it was almost time for the club to open. She also realized that she had nine texts from Amanda, and even a few from Abigail (she swore at Amanda in her head- did she really have to get their little sister involved in something that wasn't a date?), but those could be ignored for now.
"Hey," said Becky. "I have work soon. I... I don't suppose that... that you were planning on coming out tonight?"
This caught Alyssa's attention- she actually hadn't been planning on going to the club that night; she had been planning on returning to her couch, avoiding Amanda as thoroughly as possible, and beginning her third re-watch of The 100 on Netflix...
But, the crisp night air combined with the hopeful undertone in Becky's voice as they prepared to part ways on the sidewalk seemed to awake something inside of her.
Or, more accurately, poke the slumbering beast inside her chest once more, the beast that had been slowly emerging from hibernation ever since she met Becky.
"Okay," she said. "Let's go."
I hope you're all doing amazing, my lovelies! Try and stay positive, we're gonna get through this nightmare together. Maybe watch a USWNT rerun on YouTube.
I know everyone's been watching Tiger King- I haven't seen it yet because I was watching Ted Bundy: Falling For a Killer on Amazon Prime. If you're into really gnarly true crime, maybe check it out! Bundy is an asshole. Or was. Cause he dead.