"All the same, we take our chances,
Laughed at by time, tricked by circumstances."
Atmospheric changes had nothing to do with why Daniel was getting warmer. His skin flushed with the beginnings of sweat, his body tingling with arousal. He squirmed where he sat, trying to shut his mind off, to not react to the two people having sex before him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jack squirm too and felt a little better that it wasn't just him. When he turned his head ever so slightly, he caught the slight flush to Jack's face and immediately turned his gaze away, returning to the scene he fervently wished he wasn't required to watch.
Whether he liked it or not (and he did), Daniel was being affected. His cock made great statements, as if telling him that no matter what he did, Jack would see. If Jack so much as glanced at his crotch, he'd find out something new about his teammate. Daniel wished for so many things, and like most of his life, the wishes were rarely granted. Probably had something to do with the fact that those wishes tended to contradict each other. Like now.
He wished to be able to look at sex and pretend he was looking at an artifact he'd long since deciphered--and yet, looking at sex from a cold view wasn't what he really wanted. He loved sex. Loved having it and watching it.
He wished to be able to hide his reactions, that Jack wouldn't look down--and yet, he wanted Jack to look at him, to be aroused by him, to want him as much as he wanted Jack.
Daniel wished that Sam and Teal'c weren't there, seeing exactly what he saw (though he was fairly certain they didn't feel the same way as he did right at that moment). He didn't want to share this, not with them especially--and yet, he was tired of hiding who he really was. He wanted everyone, mostly his closest friends, to know that though Shau're and Sarah were part of his sexual resumé, so was Julian, Caleb, Steven, Gary, Connor, Brian, Eduardo, Jason...
And Daniel wanted Jack added to his resumé as soon as possible--as the last entry. Pun very definitely intended.
His last wish wasn't a contradiction like the others. It was a clear and unmarked want. He wished that the several dozen inhabitants of P7X-117 weren't joining him in his view of the couple. Well, actually, he was joining them, but screw the details. This felt extremely personal and he wanted to be alone...with the couple that performed, of course. Didn't help that the musicians played only percussion--the music of sex, in Daniel's considered opinion. The drums of varying sizes and pitch tones were also, quite possibly, the most erotic sounds Daniel had ever heard.
He cleared his throat, trying to make it as soundless as possible, and took a drink of the cold water offered earlier. Ten minutes. That was how long this had been going on. Nine minutes earlier, Jack had leaned in and whispered that he wished that Daniel had his camera. The idea had sent a fiery jolt straight to his groin. To watch this, over and over, privately. One minute ago, Jack had changed his mind. The whispered words in Daniel's ear had sent chills down his spine and raised goose bumps along his skin. "Never mind about the camera. I only want outta here."
Daniel wished for more things: That Jack wasn't sitting so close to him. He wished that his carefully repressed feelings hadn't been fully awakened, like being drenched by a bucket of cold water, ironic as that sounded. For seven years, his repression had been easy, viewing Jack as nothing more than a friend and teammate. It had been every bit of real, without all that stupid angst attached. And that had been just fine with him.
But that had now changed and Daniel found his mind in turmoil. Right along with his libido. He had never been to a ritual such as this, never been required to watch, and he was finding it more and more difficult to maintain that repression now. Why did the planet's inhabitants, the Delimare, have to be socially open about their sexuality? Couldn't SG-1 have found some nice, sexually closed society like they usually did?
A few more minutes passed and Daniel was seriously considering insulting the Delimare by leaving. Screw the trinium treaty. This was pure torture. The invitation to the Delimare's annual three-day festival wasn't a peace treaty, for heaven's sake. And they'd been to plenty of festivals, hadn't they?
Like that mattered to the Delimare. The point of their ritual was to bless everyone with a long, healthy life, which just so happened to involve a lot of sex. "For what is life without health, and what is health without the pleasures of life?" the lead council member had spoken.
Daniel and his teammates had then discovered that their presence wasn't just a polite invitation. They were, in fact, required to view the happiness of a newly wedded couple as part of the treaty, seen as a final signing of documents. Well, shit. Couldn't they have just sent flowers? Daniel suddenly found himself channeling Jack and quickly suppressed a smile. Jack would see it and ask and Daniel really didn't want to talk to Jack right at this moment.
Daniel sighed, wishing for just one more thing. That the couple in front of him were male and female. He might have then been able to drone out the sounds of sex. Might have. The drums weren't helping, and seemed to be enhancing his arousal, but what had his cock standing up to take notice was the fact that the blissfully wedded couple was male.
Daniel closed his eyes for a moment, fervently wishing that the Delimare knew what a quickie was. That they didn't have this bizarre requirement to witness the blessed couple fucking. Right now, all Daniel wanted to do was get back to SG-1's specially assigned suites, two-person cottages that sat housed along the edge of the village and its large lake. He wanted to curl up with a book or listen to music and forget all about this.
Okay. Not exactly true. What he really wanted to do was jerk off. And not being able to, he had to pretend he was okay, that he was having a good time, that he wasn't from a sexually repressed society or that he worked in a community that feared same gender sex. But he was. And so was Jack. Problem was, despite the flush on Jack's skin, Daniel couldn't tell what the man was feeling. He could be aroused, but just as likely embarrassed. Or both.
Daniel felt a flush at the thought and suddenly needed to find out what Jack thought about what they were watching. But would Jack even talk to him...after? While Jack was hardly a prude, he wasn't exactly an open kind of guy. They'd had their share of dirty jokes, had those drunken conversations while they watched nude scenes (female) on film, but sharing with Jack had always been a bit limited. And always, that had been just fine with Daniel. He'd respected Jack's boundaries and had never wanted to cross that line that went beyond just a bit of harmless, innocent flirting.
But it really wasn't out of respect for boundaries, no matter what he consciously told himself. The truth was that Daniel couldn't bear the idea of seeing rejection in Jack's eyes. Except that was changing, thanks to the sexual intimacy that they were viewing. He was reconsidering the idea that if he could talk to Jack, open up to him, that it might make them better friends. But was he lying to himself just because his cock was harder than he ever remembered experiencing? Would Jack really just put up the usual barriers, silently telling Daniel to keep his views to himself?
Of all Jack's faults, that was the one that bothered Daniel the most.
Daniel felt his stubbornness asserting itself. If he pushed the conversation playing in his mind, what would Jack do? Open up or close down? Pretty much, it would all depend upon Jack's behavior once they were dismissed. If his body language said the door was open, then Daniel would tell him. If, on the other hand, Jack's behavior held up a sign that said, Gone Fishing, then Daniel would know to keep things to himself.
Except that Daniel knew he was capable of pushing things too far, despite the warning he might get.
He sighed. It didn't help that he believed that mixed signals were coming from Jack. The man hadto be aroused. He was exhibiting nervousness, his body as wired as Daniel's. Daniel didn't dare look down. No way. That would confirm things, but there was no way. It was bad enough that he could hear Jack's breathing, intoxicating to his ears. Add to that, the smell of sweat combined with the musky spice of sex becoming just as overpoweringly distracting.
Couldn't they hurry the hell up? Please? Let this end in the next few minutes and get them the hell out of here.
Three minutes passed into five. Then ten.
God. Hello, folks? Quickies are good. Quickies are necessary.
Daniel shifted, his dick nestled tightly, painfully, to the left. He wished they'd worn the camouflage uniforms instead. They were looser around the crotch.
"I so need a drink."
Jack's voice again, sounding dry and raw, and Daniel did his level best to maintain when he glanced into his dark eyes. He nodded in answer and looked away.
Jack's eyes were dilated. That bit of information was very interesting and sent Daniel's lizard brain into the deepest gutter. The only thing that pulled it out was the realization that his own pupils would be just as dilated. And that Jack would have noticed--he was a 'details' man, after all.
Fuck. That talk seemed inevitable now.
Daniel tried to blur his focus, a task made only slightly easier since he didn't have his glasses on. When he glanced to his left, Sam was as highly flushed as she'd been since the nude, male couple had arrived on the large dais. But her concentration now seemed to be blissfully taken from the men. Teal'c was whispering something in her ear and making her smile and Daniel suddenly wished he was sitting next to Teal'c instead of Jack. He could use some of Teal'c's dry, observational wit right about now.
The wedded couple abruptly changed their rhythm and moved into frenzied fucking. God. Just why? Okay, stupid question. Daniel would be doing it, that's for damn sure. The Delimare around them began to hum with encouragement. This was so not helping, either, and under less restricted circumstances, Daniel knew that he'd have his hand around his cock, fucking his fist as fast and rough as he could.
He suddenly made a promise to himself that no matter what happened back at the suite, he and his right hand were going for a walk in the woods.
The Delimare now added clapping in slow cadence to their humming, and the couple hurried toward completion. Hopefully. Daniel suddenly felt Jack shift next to him, his thigh touching Jack's. How the fuck did they close the distance? Dammitdammitdammit.
Jack cursed himself for moving. It was bad enough that his careful behavior was slowly being eroded by the hard bodies in front of him, but did the briefest of touches against Daniel's thigh have to feel so good? Jack seriously considered breaching protocol, using his reputation of impatience to get up and leave, but exposing the heavy outline of his trousers was enough to stall that tactic. Not quite desperate enough. After all, this was just sex.
Yeah, right. Sex between two men.
Jack's mind desperately sought out a few ice cold images, trying to deflate the hotness in his belly and the urgent straining in his cock. And for a moment, the images worked. But the action before him pushed them away and kept his libido ignited.
What the hell was the matter with him, anyway? He'd spent his entire life controlling himself and his desires. Why was he reacting like this now? Just because two guys were fucking in front of him? It's not like he hadn't watched it before.
Granted, this was different. He was off-world and definitely not on Earth. The guys in front of him weren't going to report him or see him ever again. So...maybe a little reaction was normal. Okay, abig reaction. It had been years.
But c'mon, dammit. Sex was sex. It could be controlled and made to be removed from conscious thought. After all, Jack's training and discipline had served him well, hadn't it? So where the hell had all his practiced discipline gone to? Apparently, it had jumped the fucking track during the sixty-nine.
So now, the question was: Was he losing his ability to discipline himself? No. That was impossible. He was the same as he'd ever been. A hell of a lot more seasoned, a professional used to doing what he needed to do. He'd severely controlled his appetites, and for over twenty years, he'd behaved, hadn't ever lost control. Okay, there was that brief stay in Eastern Europe after a blown mission, but that hadn't been sex. That had been jerking off. No one had touched him and he'd touched only himself. It had simply been a stress reliever, a survival tactic. Nothing more.
It was all a lie, though. He wasn't losing his self-discipline. He was letting it go.
But he was certain it wasn't conscious. It had to be. Though the last seven years had been exceptionally difficult, all because of a sneezy archaeologist, Jack had still maintained himself on his usual par. He admitted to himself that his control had been slipping, just a little, year by year, but preferred to blame it on age, not on Daniel. No matter how much his libido had fought him, Jack's mind had won. It had required just a little more effort and after practice, ignoring Daniel had been very easy.
Was it was time to let go of the restrictions he'd placed on himself? No, he couldn't. Why bother? Why change habits that he had carefully groomed? It was too late to start something new. He was too worn out, too jaded, too...
Jack shifted again, and cursed his cock for contradicting his thoughts.
God damn the Delimare. God damn Daniel Jackson. And God damn himself.
"Finally," Daniel whispered, his voice barely an octave above silence. He shut the door and heaved a sigh of relief.
"Yes, finally," Jack mumbled.
Daniel noticed the tension practically vibrating from Jack and frowned with worry. As Jack started for their shared bedroom, Daniel reached out and gently took hold of Jack's bicep. "Jack?"
Jack jumped, not expecting the touch. "Jesus, Daniel!"
"Want to talk about it?" Daniel held his breath.
Jack seemed to vibrate more, if that was possible. "No. I'm not in the best of moods."
"I think we need to talk about--"
"No. We need some private time."
Daniel's heart beat faster and Jack fidgeted under the raised brows.
"I mean, some solitary private time, Daniel. If you get my meaning. Talking right now is not a good idea."
"Probably, but I think we should get this out."
The thought of Jack masturbating sent shudders of pleasure through Daniel's body. "Jack," and he grabbed Jack's arm again. Jack whirled--faster than light, Daniel thought--and found himself slammed against the bedroom door frame, Jack's fingers holding his arms in a vise-like grip.
"Stop it," Jack told him harshly, his voice filled with warning, his face so close that his breath puffed against Daniel's surprised gasp.
The unexpected sudden violence made Daniel dizzy with lust, knowing Jack was fighting his arousal. He couldn't help the selfish pleasure in seeing Jack lose that control. The flush of Jack's cheeks; the hot, intense gaze. There was resistance as Jack's eyes flickered back and forth over his own. Daniel tried not to groan as heat crawled over his own face, tried not to make a sound as he slid his hands tentatively up Jack's arms. Even more tentative was the barest brush of his fingers as they moved over the black t-shirt that fit tightly over Jack's chest.
It was as if he were afraid to touch, as if touch were on trial. Neither of them had ever been afraid of touching. That's what they did, especially with each other. But those touches had always been innocent, made by friends. Or had they?
Lines were about to be crossed, Daniel could feel it. And there was no talking. Wasn't he supposed to be talking?
Well, yeah, but Jack's steel-like fingers were on his arms, his eyes boring into him like laser tools. The only thoughts of talking that came to mind involved explicitly filthy demands. Images of fingers and tongues and cocks entering every open orifice dredged up Daniel's lust better than any porn video.
He wanted Jack, and wanted him badly. The only control he had left was in leaving it up to Jack to make the first initial move. He stared into his eyes and waited. And waited. It was like a bizarre mating dance. The drums in the background, still going strong in the Delimare's festival, made it better. And more...dangerous.
Daniel's attention was split between Jack's smoldering gaze and the heat under his fingers, wanting a harder touch, to feel muscle through the cotton, to twist and rip, pull and grope. He swallowed, his gaze flicking between Jack's eyes and his lips, hard and firmly set, yet inviting and, Daniel supposed, warm.
He wanted to find out, danger be damned. He leaned forward an inch, his eyes now fixed deliberately on Jack's lips, his breath now mingling with his.
"This isn't us. It's not real. We're only reacting to what we've seen," Jack told him in a quieter tone. He wasn't moving though. Why wasn't he moving if he didn't want this as bad as Daniel did?
Daniel considered that and dismissed it, then noted the rising tension in Jack's muscles as he brushed his mouth, featherlight, over his friend's. "It's very real."
Jack swallowed as Daniel opened his lips, sending a clear signal for Jack to open his. Then Daniel waited again; waited for Jack to continue, to send the signal. Yes or no. Yay or nay.
When Jack made no movement or sound, remaining still as if frozen in time, Daniel decided Jack needed nudging. His hands pressed in, one sliding up to cup the back of Jack's neck while the other flattened over Jack's heart. He pulled the man in and felt a surge of adrenalin as Jack opened his mouth, expelling a soft, needy gasp.
"Jack," Daniel whispered into his mouth, then felt his body shudder when Jack clamped his lips firmly over his own. Daniel's first thought was to marvel at the complexity of soft and hard edges, then the stabbing burn of stubble. There was wetness and a soaring of flavor as Jack's tongue met his. Daniel's knees were ready to collapse and he suddenly wondered if Jack's were.
The sweet taste pushed Jack off the diving platform, and he thrust his tongue around Daniel's with abrupt, wild hunger. His fingers tightened and he pushed his body against Daniel's, rocking his hips. Needing to feel it all as if it would suddenly disappear, his trembling hands set out to map and catalogue every curiosity he'd had.
Daniel moaned loudly and instinctively raised his leg, curling his foot around the back of Jack's thigh, meeting Jack's grind and thrust. Elation soared and the need for a long, delayed, torturous orgasm was overpowering. Jack's body was against his, his tongue in his mouth, his fingers working almost painfully over the muscles of his ass. It was good.
The kiss deepened, and that was when Daniel became hyper-aware. Jack's cock. It throbbed through the clothing. God, the man felt too fucking good. Daniel pressed harder, their kiss turning wild and messy and uncontrolled. The edge needed to be taken off first, he decided. A quick orgasm to stem the tide. They both needed to come and Daniel didn't care how. He brought his hands to Jack's ass, squeezing, and Jack finally let out a sound.
Daniel's earlier thought about the most erotic sound had now been updated. In fact, he was certain that every other sound Jack made would surpass the previous one. He moaned back, giving an affirmative note to the sound, encouraging his would-be lover to give back anything he wanted.
Jack's fingers coursed through his hair, mussing it as he broke the kiss to move his swollen lips over Daniel's chin and down his throat. The feel of his lips on his skin forced Daniel to tighten his hold against Jack's ass, keeping him pressed against him while he ground in more forcefully. His cock ached, throbbing with the need to be inside Jack's body, to find his gland and extort the pleasure from him. His fingers tightened over the muscles, holding him in place, and he leaned in, whispering against Jack's ear, "It's not the Delimare. I've wanted you for a very long time."
"Yes," Jack replied, his buttocks twitching and clenching under Daniel's hard caress. Fingers slid between the cheeks of his ass, pressing the material in, and he growled.
The sound was like a claxon warning, and Daniel ground harder, faster, losing what little control he had left. He bit at Jack's ear, sucking the soft lobe between his teeth. "I'm going to fuck you so hard."
The tension in Jack suddenly altered and he tried pulling away. Daniel pulled him back, his arms winding around his waist, laughing softly. "Don't tell me you're a firm top man. 'Cause I'll have you know that--"
"I can't do this," Jack suddenly said, his skin flushing even more than before as he pushed forcefully away, taking several steps from Daniel, his gaze everywhere but on Daniel's.
Daniel blinked and felt a sudden rush of panic. "What?" Though the blood still flowed hot, centered in his dick, his limbs felt as cold as the Arctic. "Why?"
"I can't." Jack shook his head and still wouldn't meet Daniel's eyes. "I'm sorry. This was a mistake." Then Jack was through the front door like a shot, leaving Daniel standing there bewildered, horny and...rejected.
He slid down the door frame with a hard thump as his ass met the hardwood floor. An intense ache of hurt started to fill him, but his mind tried to stave it off. Logic, reason, and the need to fix this began to occupy his mind. Anger and resentment tried to mix in, but he pushed them away. For now.
Jack was afraid. That much Daniel guessed. But of what? His arousal and his need were clear as day, so it wasn't as if he didn't want Daniel. So what was it? Jack didn't suffer from inferiority complexes. Not that Daniel was aware of, anyway, and though he thought he knew Jack pretty well, it obviously wasn't well enough.
Jack walked away for a reason. If the Air Force or the job were Jack's excuse, Jack never would have allowed anything to happen in the first place, so that wasn't it. Daniel shook his head. What the hell was it that had changed Jack's mind so suddenly?
Daniel knotted his brows in thought, flashing back, repeating the past five minutes. Jack froze up just after Daniel had told him how hard he wanted to...
Daniel blinked again, replaying that moment over and over. Could Jack be one of those guys who had that absurd aversion to bottoming? Somehow, it seemed like it was more than that. All it took was the mention of what Daniel wanted to do to him that had brought Jack out of his lust and sent him running.
Which made no sense. Jack didn't run from anything. Well, unless it was a sound military strategy and this sure as fuck wasn't. This was an emotional withdrawal, something that Jack had only ever done where Charlie was concerned.
Jack was, at this very moment, the most complex man Daniel had ever known. The man was full of contradictions. He was hard-hearted and cold at times, but a marshmallow around children, with a sense of humor so vast it seemed it never disappeared, even during the deepest depression. He championed humanity, but wouldn't recognize the most basic humanity in...well, the non-human. He accepted when he was wrong but, like Daniel, only when he was proven so. He didn't like being backed into a corner, and when he was, he appeared to look defeated when his mind was busy working out escape details. He had a code of honor that frequently got him into trouble, yet there were the times where Jack tried to fit into the status quo. Although, each time that had happened, he had failed miserably, which would leave Jack feeling guilty and angry until he could fix it.
Basically, Jack always tried to do the right thing for everyone. Except himself. There, he left no latitude.
Applying that to their current situation, Daniel knew that Jack was refusing to take something for himself, to give into his own needs. So the question remained: Why?
No matter what Jack's reasons were, Daniel knew he couldn't leave things the way they were. The only way to find out what was wrong was to get him to talk, sourly amusing as that thought was. Even if he had to get Jack good and pissed off to do it. Daniel sighed and got up from the floor, knowing that wherever Jack was, he wasn't going to be alone very long.
Jack picked up a pebble and angrily threw it into the lake. How could he have been so stupid? He should have controlled himself. Even now, he had to fight off the urge to go back to Daniel, to strip off their clothes and push him onto the bed. To do what he'd been dying to do for a long time.
He'd ignored his feelings, his needs, his desires, and had put everything into the clichéd little black box in the back of his mind. What the hell had come over him to open that sonofabitch up? And now that Pandora was out, the fears came with the frustrating hope, the angsty pain, the hate of having to hide...everything that came with giving in to himself.
He had to put it all back, and god knows, that would take a huge amount of effort. Was it worth it? Probably. He tried to rationalize it as he threw another stone. How could he change now? He was too old. He was--
A movement behind and Jack turned in his grassy seat beside the huge lake. The quarter moon had risen before the sun had set so twilight gave off an interesting glow on the man behind him.
Teal'c. Jack tried to push away the keen disappointment. He looked away and back to the lake, absently picking up yet another stone and tossing it into the water.
"Hey, T. I don't mean to be rude, but I'd kinda like to be alone."
Teal'c didn't approach, remaining where he was. As he peered at Jack carefully, his jaw clenched as if he fought a war within on what to say. He turned to leave, but paused. "May I make a suggestion?"
"Sure, Teal'c," Jack sighed, making sure his tone was kind.
"Do not reject the blessings offered you. They will not come again."
"What?" Jack twisted around, but Teal'c was gone.
The frown between his brows deepened as he turned back to face the lake. How the hell could Teal'c read the situation? Jack figured it could be that it was just a lucky choice of words, but more than likely, it was Teal'c's 106 years. He would have learned a thing or two about reading people in all that time. Later on, Jack would have a talk with him, ask him why he felt the need to say anything. With Teal'c, his reasons could be any damned thing.
Jack heard a soft sound, a footfall in the dirt, and turned round once more. "Teal'c, if--"
It was Daniel--and Jack quickly looked away.
"Was Teal'c here?" Daniel asked as he slowly strode forward and sat down next to his friend.
"Yeah," Jack said, confused at the normal sound in Daniel's voice. "Told him I wanted to be alone." He threw another stone in the water, as if for emphasis.
"Oh." Daniel drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, rocking a little bit before he settled. Jack still wasn't looking at him. "That probably means you want me to leave, too."
Jack sighed and ground his teeth. He didn't want Daniel to leave but he couldn't... "You can stay if you want, but I don't know what the hell to say--"
"I know," Daniel interrupted, "and normally, I'd respect that, but this time's different. We need to talk."
He listened to Jack sigh and glanced over as he copied him and threw a pebble into the water. "What did I do wrong, Jack?"
Jack's head turned swiftly, his eyes measuring shock as he stared at Daniel. "What makes you think it was you?"
Daniel shrugged and looked away again. "It usually is when you walk away from me." He started to throw another pebble into the water but Jack caught his hand, holding the back of it with strong fingers. The action made them both stare at their hands, and Daniel slowly turned his over. Jack's fingers let go and Daniel opened his hand, offering the pebble to Jack, the metaphor as sharp as broken glass.
They didn't look at each other and the moment seemed just as frozen in time as all the other moments of that day. Especially the one that landed them in a fierce lip lock and body clutch.
Jack's fingers hovered over his palm and after a moment, he took the pebble and tested its weight as if testing his answer, before throwing it into the lake. They watched it create a small splash as it landed and disappeared.
"It wasn't you, Daniel," Jack finally said. "It was me."
Daniel closed his eyes, his body still thrumming from Jack's touch, his lips and skin still tingling from the burn of stubble growth. He tried to ignore it as he thought over the logical reasons he'd come up with on his way down here. If he'd done nothing wrong, then it was fear. The oldest reason. "Would it help if I said that it's okay?"
Jack couldn't believe Daniel wouldn't let it go, and reluctantly admitted that it only made him love him more. Damn him. "Daniel, it's not okay."
Daniel rested his chin on his knees, his eyes fixed on the deceptively calm water. "Yes, it is, Jack. Desires and wants are okay to have, okay to express, and--"
"No, it's not okay. It's my problem, and not yours to solve. Just leave it be."
"I'm involved, so it is partly my problem now. Do you actually think I can just let this go?"
Jack dropped his head down, letting out an exasperated sigh. "No." He tossed another stone. "Why do you have to do this? Just try to let it go, okay?"
"Are you afraid of being with me?"
Jack flinched. How did Daniel do that? Get so close to the truth that it would probably end up beingthe truth? He looked off into the distance, turning his head completely away, making sure he couldn't see Daniel at all. "It's just that I'm not..." He couldn't say it. He was afraid, dammit. Of it all. And just as afraid of what Daniel would think of him.
Another flinch. "Just...stop talking now, okay?"
"No, not okay. If I can't get you to open up to me in a rational way, then I'll piss you off and get you that way."
"Fuck off, Daniel. There's nothing to get."
"Why? Because you're afraid to let me fuck you?" Daniel asked, purposely choosing to be blunt.
Jack turned swiftly, his eyes wide, scooting back a foot, gaining distance that seemed like a very good idea now. "Goddamn it! Why'd you say that?"
"Because it's true. You were ready and willing to fuck me, weren't you?"
Jack swallowed, tearing his gaze away. "Daniel, just..." He squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head between his raised knees, his fingers combing through his hair, making the wild tufts at the top stick out more.
His body language was screaming emotional pain and Daniel couldn't stand it. He reached out and touched Jack's knee, forcing the man to still his movements and slowly look up at him.
"Jack, I'm sorry."
"Nothing to be sorry for. It's me, as I said."
"I can't help it. We wanted it, Jack. Each other. And it's obvious that you're afraid of it." When Jack flinched once again, he went on, his words flowing faster. "Maybe you've denied yourself long enough. Maybe it's time to allow yourself to feel what you feel, to re-experience--"
"There's nothing there to re-experience, Daniel." There. He'd said it. Even if it was a bit cryptic. And it felt as if the sky was falling. He closed his eyes.
Jack's words caught in Daniel's head, spinning around like a roulette wheel's ball until it fell into the properly deciphered slot. Daniel's eyes widened, and he quickly told himself that he had to be wrong. Honestly, it never would have occurred to him in a million years. A billion years. But it suddenly made sense with the usual control issues Jack might have and Daniel wondered why he hadn't seen it before.
Making sure he looked calm and not like a deer in headlights, Daniel turned, got on his knees and sat back. Reaching out, he watched as Jack flinched again, jerking his head back, but Daniel persevered, catching his jaw and forcing Jack to look at him. He was a bit annoyed that his hand was shaking and that Jack could feel it.
Jack grabbed his hand, but strangely, he didn't feel like removing it from his face. He stared back into Daniel's intense blues, feeling the strength behind them. They told him so many unnamed things, and Jack was caught between running away or staying to find them out. Ashamedly, he chose to run. "Please. Just let it be."
But his hand was still on Daniel's.
"Did you think I would laugh?" Daniel asked quietly. He waited for Jack to answer, waited while he searched his eyes. Daniel had seen fear behind Jack's eyes before, but this fear was something he'd never seen. A feeling welled up inside him, a powerful feeling he never thought he'd have. He could rid Jack of this fear. If the man let him.
Jack sensed something and misread the intense look in Daniel's eyes. He let go and started to rise, but Daniel grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him seated. Jack took Daniel's arms in his hands once more, using the same hard grip as he had back in the suite. He thought about shoving him away as Daniel's biceps flexed underneath. He couldn't have this. He didn't know what to do with this. "Daniel..."
"I could never laugh," Daniel told him, letting him know by the tone of his voice that the idea of laughing was absurd. "Never." He leaned forward, pulling Jack toward him, and was immensely relieved when Jack didn't resist. He whispered his lips over Jack's, and he'd meant only to say something more and give him a short, chaste kiss, but when his mouth opened and no words came out, it felt like a caress, like an invitation. Jack let out a breath and Daniel took it, hot and shaky, into his mouth. He kissed him, firmly, mouth closed, and resisted the temptation to push Jack onto his back and give him one hell of a blow job. They needed seclusion and anyone could come upon them here. Pulling back, he stood up and held his hand out. "C'mon. Let's head back."
Jack looked up at him, then down at his hands, now empty. The hot tingling of his lips demanded more and his hands felt lost without the warmth of the body they'd held. Irrationally, he started to get angry. Couldn't he just make up his damned mind? Hadn't he just tried to walk away? So what the hell was he doing, missing something he told himself to forget about? He sighed and looked up again. "I need to...stay here for a while."
Daniel slowly dropped his hand to his side. He nodded mutely and turned, heading back to his room. By the time he got there, his heart was beating wildly.
Nothing would be the same, but Daniel had a dreadful feeling that Jack might try to pretend that nothing had happened at all. Daniel didn't want him to; he wanted him in his arms. But that wasn't what Jack wanted. It hurt.
He took a few deep, slow breaths, calming himself. Jack was a man who didn't like change. This was one big one if he allowed it to happen. And it was clear that he wasn't going to.
Perhaps because he liked to feel secure and know where everything stood with him. Change and new experiences were fine when going through the gate or flying through the air because there were rules and laws that Jack could rely on. But sex was hot, giddy, and made one lose control.
Which Jack hated to do.
And then there was the fact that Jack was...'inexperienced' was a kinder word.
Daniel blew out a breath as the reality of it sank in. His stomach felt both nervously queasy and blindly hungry. He wanted to show Jack that there was nothing to be ashamed of. But as the enormity of things settled, Daniel started to wonder if that were it at all. Perhaps, it was a matter of control.
Losing it to orgasm, losing it to Daniel.
Losing something he'd held onto for a lifetime. Namely, his heterosexuality.
And possibly, the most important element. Losing the position of being the older, wiser man where sex was concerned.
Daniel knew Jack well enough to know that for him, inexperience was a sign of weakness. He'd been programmed to think that all his life. Daniel had learned otherwise, and he wanted to show Jack how inexperience could be a really good thing. Daniel would love to re-experience sex again; to taste, feel, smell, hear, and see it as a new thing.
Daniel felt resentment because Jack was refusing not only himself, but him. Yet again. He'd now been rejected twice. Clenching his jaw, Daniel swallowed down the aggravation as he stripped down to his boxers. Lying on top of the coverlet, his heart filled with regret. He shouldn't have done anything. He should have left Jack alone and gone somewhere to jerk off.
Jack was his friend. If he wanted to forget this ever happened, then Daniel would let him.
But that didn't mean that Daniel had to like it. Or that he would ever forget the way Jack's body felt, and most especially, his mouth. Daniel slid his hand down over his groin, rubbing his half-hard cock through the material, reaching under to palm his balls. He closed his eyes and felt that familiar need reasserting itself. Frustration and rejection had dulled it, but the keen ache returned.
Deciding, Daniel pushed off his boxers and kicked them to the floor. He slicked his palms and fingers with spit, then grabbed the base of his shaft with one hand and the head of his cock with the other. Twisting and stroking, he brought his half-hard organ back to life. He was going to get off, just as he planned.
Combining the ritual images with thoughts of Jack, he began to pump his fist over the head, delighting in the shudders of pleasure that shot through him.
A sudden thought intruded. What if Jack returned and caught him?
Two seconds of thought and Daniel decided that it didn't matter. If Jack came in and found him, then too bad for Jack. He'd only see what he wasn't getting.
Feet planted flat, knees bent, he closed his eyes and began to thrust through his fists, bringing back the pictures in his mind. Along with the hope that he'd get caught just before orgasm, where Jack would see his naked, sweaty, flushed skin, and hear the shout of his name when he came.
Daniel knew he was being irrational, and that he wasn't being fair. But of course it wasn't fair. On either of them. Jack was supposed to be here, in bed with him, on his back, having his cock sucked by a man for the first time. But he wasn't. Instead, after being shot down twice, Daniel was lying in bed alone, his own hands intent on pleasuring himself. So, right now, at this moment, he did...not...care.
Jack removed his boots and placed his feet at the damp edge of the lake, hoping the shock of the cold would help, but it didn't. He sat staring at the water, and instead of feeling relief that Daniel had gone, he felt a rising panic. He'd watched the back of him as he'd left, and hadn't helped but notice the tension in the broad shoulders. His eyes had fallen, like a magnet he thought, to Daniel's ass, and the movement of the muscles beneath the trousers.
It was like watching beauty in motion.
And like watching the last train leave, knowing you were supposed to be on it.
Stranded. That's how he felt. He'd done it to himself, and what was worse, he didn't have to. He didn't have to.
All of the old arguments he'd made to himself, and not at all clearly to Daniel, suddenly started to evaporate like steam. Though he sat still, afraid to move, Jack felt himself being called, the magnet metaphor stronger, back to the suite, to find Daniel, to tell him he was sorry, to have him put his hands on him, his legs around him, to let Daniel explore what his skin itched for.
Jack suddenly laughed and shook his head. He wished he were an artifact for Daniel to study, and the image made him laugh. Worn with age, full of secrets, ready to be dusted off and thoroughly examined.
Wrinkling his brow, he looked down at his empty hand, remembering taking the pebble from Daniel's. That had been a signal, but at the last second, he'd chickened out. He knew he was afraid, knew he had issues with giving up control. Surrendering to his feelings, powerful and very scary, made him very nervous. It wasn't that he was afraid of getting hurt. No, that actually never occurred to him. Jack smiled and wondered if that make him egotistical or narcissistic. The smile dimmed when he thought of what scared him, but this time, it was different.
This time, there was the urgent need to fight it, to conquer it. After all, that's what he had done to all of his other fears, wasn't it? Jack felt his stomach lurch. There was a strong possibility that he'd lost his friendship with Daniel. All because he'd let his fear control him.
In trying to keep control, he'd been controlled instead.
And didn't that just suck?
Jack looked at the path entrance that lead back to the suite. He felt that pull again, and pushed himself to his feet, purposely avoiding the fears that tried to stop him. He headed back to their suite, his stomach now filled with butterflies, feeling like the ground was about to open and swallow him, removing any chance at making things right. For himself. For Daniel.
He laughed, thinking that that sounded suspiciously like a drama queen. No one could ever accuse him of that, simply because he'd carefully controlled his life. So, now what? He wanted to let go and with it, came the over-dramatics?
He shook his head, grinning, knowing full well that if anyone were watching, they'd either think he was talking to himself or to someone who wasn't there.
They'd be right on both counts actually. And wasn't this how it felt when one went insane?
Jack made a snorting sound. Sanity was overrated. This was his chance, their chance. He'd been wasting that chance because his ego had been brainwashed. In reality, Jack longed for another whose ego was as strong and as bruised as his own. Someone to open up to.
And he'd rejected it, hadn't he?
But no longer, he told himself, quickening his pace. He wasn't opening himself up to just anyone. This was Daniel. As he neared the suite, the memory of Daniel's hard, muscular body pressed into his own, the full lips opening, and tasting that slick, sweet tongue, filled his senses.
Jack was still hard from that.
As he made his way to the door, he wondered if Daniel would reject him. And now came that angst he hated, the dread. Well, it would suit the situation, wouldn't it? Serve him right for making Daniel feel like shit.
Jack grasped the door handle, preparing himself for some serious making up.
Daniel found that his intent to come off quickly had changed. His movements were now slow, methodic, immersed in his fantasy, repeating his favorite sequences. He wanted to draw it out, make it last, tease himself. He still did not care if Jack came back before he finished, but that no longer occupied the back of his mind. His eyes closed, his breathing heavy, he was lost in the pleasurable shudders, thinking only of how Jack's mouth would feel on him.
Jack stood transfixed in the bedroom doorway. He didn't think he was breathing, so the words he spoke had no sound. Only his mouth worked, forming what looked like, "Oh god," which is what Daniel would have interpreted had his eyes been open.
Daniel lay on the bed, his hips slowly thrusting, hands moving erotically over his cock and balls, his legs spread, knees slightly bent. His skin was wet with sweat and the sounds he made Jack's cock stir instantly to life.
Jack swallowed, his eyes roaming everywhere on the body lying on the bed. He'd never seen anything so beautiful in his entire life. He was glad that he'd decided to take his boots off at the lake. They took way too much time to remove. As it was, it was seconds to get to the bed, seconds to remove his t-shirt, his trousers and shorts. Seconds too long for his limited patience. He really hoped Daniel wouldn't throw him out.
When he got to the foot of the bed, he froze. He'd intended to jump on Daniel and feel everything. But he only stood there, transfixed for a few long moments, staring at the man, who slowly opened his eyes...and gasped.
Surprised, Daniel quickly pushed up on his elbows, the hand around his cock releasing--but not leaving it completely. As he stared back into Jack's eyes, it took him a moment to interpret the look on Jack's face. It was lust. Or so he damn well hoped. Daniel had never seen it before and this was...almost too much. He could have come just from that, he would swear to that. It was amazing, being held by that hot, intense gaze. Daniel then realized that Jack was also very naked.
"Jack?" he whispered the question, his eyes resting on the reddened cock, not quite fully erect but getting there quickly.
Jack's mouth worked wordlessly for a moment, as if he were struggling with what to say. Instead, he said nothing when he began to move, watching Daniel's eyes open wider as he crawled up the bed. He paused over Daniel's calves, his eyes resting on Daniel's cock, swollen and glistening, in demand of attention. He looked up into Daniel's eyes, and letting a fraction of a smile form, he lowered his mouth to the inside of one of Daniel's knees...and kissed it.
Daniel felt a shudder pass through him as his entire body twitched from the touch. He spread his legs invitingly wider, watching Jack move upward, feeling each kiss Jack laid on his skin. When Jack lifted his mouth from the inner thigh and looked back and forth between Daniel's face and his cock, he gave the man a mischievous grin and moved past, kissing his hip instead.
Daniel let out a small groan of need, but the desire to have Jack's tongue in his mouth was more urgent than having it on his dick. The feel of Jack's weight was exhilarating as he settled over him, staring down into his face as his hands slid comfortably under his shoulders. Daniel couldn't help the hitch of his breath as he shifted his legs further, the contact of cock against cock forcing his hips to rise up for more.
All the while, Daniel thought of so many things to ask, but all he could manage was something that sounded a bit like Jack. "What took you so long?"
Jack bit his lip as a shudder flickered behind his eyes. He didn't return the small thrust that Daniel gave him. He didn't dare. Instead, he focused on his reply. "Nightmare traffic, boneheaded guilt, idiotic fears...same old, same old."
Daniel slid his hands up Jack's abdomen, taking his time to feel the dampness of his skin, the heat and amazing strength underneath. When his fingers reached the sparse hair and bumped into the dog tags, he broke his gaze from the man's eyes to stare down at the rubber encased metal stampwork.
He started to speak, but he couldn't think of anything to say just yet. He watched his fingers move through the hair, luxuriating in its softness. Fingers of both hands traveled to the dark pink nipples, rubbing them first, pinching them after. Jack's huff of breath forced him to look up and find the intense desire reflected back. If there was a moment of pure clarity between them, it was right then and there.
His eyes half-closed with need as he zeroed in on Jack's lips. He wanted to grab Jack, pull him down, kiss the breathe from him, but he waited, leaving it up to Jack. This time. Later would be much different.
Daniel parted his lips and leaned up, brushing them against Jack's, waiting, waiting. Leaning up more, pressing in just a little more, until he was suddenly mashed against the pillow as Jack dove down, his tongue thrusting into Daniel's mouth for a hard, deep kiss. A long moan came, in stereo, and the sound of it made them laugh through the kiss as they ground their cocks together. Gasping apart, Daniel brought a hand to Jack's face, then his lips.
"Okay?" he asked, now framing Jack's jawline.
Jack leaned into the hand and nuzzled it while his eyes closed. "I think so," he said shakily, hating himself for losing control and again, hating that he hated it.
Daniel noted the flush and brushed his fingers over a slightly colored cheek before he slid them to the back of Jack's neck. He leaned down and rubbed Jack's nose with his own. "Hang on."
Jack was going to ask, "What for?" but that was before Daniel wrapped his arms and legs around and swiftly rolled them over. Breathless, Jack swallowed, wondering how his throat got so dry. It probably had a lot to do with the lust reflecting from Daniel's eyes.
"Is there anything specific that you want to do?" Daniel asked.
"Everything," Jack answered.
Daniel looked over his face, then back to his lips once more. He lowered, slowly, incrementally, then just as Jack had done, pounced, tongue deep in Jack's mouth. The longer the kiss went on, the more he knew that they both needed that edge taken off. They could explore with a bit more leisure afterwards. Jack's firsts didn't have to be done all in one night, either, Daniel thought. In fact, it would be good to stretch them out over time, even if it made Jack suffer with his infamous impatience.
Gasping as he broke the kiss, Daniel felt shivers run over his body as Jack grabbed his head and held it, neck exposed. He groaned at the bites and hard licks over his throat, gasped loudly when Jack thrust his hips upward in search of friction. Daniel slid his hand between them and found Jack's cock, and the surprised look of pleasure was one he'd never forget. Jack looked so damned good like that.
He moved his hand, feeling the silky, hot length slide easily through his palm, and he tightened, forming a fist. He began to pump, moving his hips in time, rubbing his cock over Jack's abdomen. Staring down into his eyes again, fixated now. "Touch me," he whispered, but Jack anticipated him.
Jack needed to feel, and when his fingers wrapped around Daniel's shaft, Jack thought it felt just as good as having Daniel's hand around his own. "Yes, perfect," he said, and pulled Daniel down for another kiss, deep, ravenous, while his hand became busy with the need to make Daniel moan for him, sigh for him, feel pleasure because of him.
He wasn't disappointed.
Daniel kissed back harder, biting at Jack's lips, his jaw. He wanted so much, and the power of it still caused his breath to hitch, only more so as the dark brown eyes never seemed to leave his own. Jack surprised him again by pushing him off his body until Daniel was on his knees, propped on one elbow. Jack pushed up on one elbow and looked down, watching their hands.
"Damn hot," he murmured.
Daniel made a throaty noise of agreement as they focused on each other, their hands pumping, stroking, thumbs rubbing the taut, sensitive skin of the glans. Hips began to move then and hands quickly adjusted to climbing needs.
"How'm I doing?" Daniel abruptly asked as a shudder passed through him. Jack's hand was so damned good.
"Fine, great, perfect," Jack answered breathlessly, thrusting his cock through Daniel's tight fist. "Me?"
"Yes, the same, god, the same," and Daniel kissed him again, this time his attention on his own cock as he thrust through Jack's fingers. Jack may not have done this to another man, but goddamn if he didn't know the right pressure to apply. Daniel, on the other hand, did know what it was like. His need to bring Jack to orgasm was just as intense as his own need to get off, so he concentrated on Jack, even as he felt himself rushing toward release. Straddled over Jack's body, he thrust faster as Jack's hips increased in their own rhythmic need.
Daniel knew that Jack was getting there before he was. Daniel made sure of it, twisting his hand, tightening his fingers, encouraging. The fingers of his free hand clutched at the coverlet, itching and aching to touch Jack elsewhere. But that would have to wait. Right now, there was no way he was interrupting the wonderful power moving rapidly through his fist.
He could feel the change, just under the skin, and Jack's gasps climbed higher in pitch, escalating to harsh, needy pants.
"Yes, Jack, yes," and his hand drew it out of him, watching as Jack's mouth suddenly fell open, his eyes wide. Daniel smiled as Jack's orgasm took him by surprise.
"Jesus!" Jack yelled, arching, his hand releasing Daniel's dick to white-knuckle the bed's coverlet as he shuddered through his release. His body trembled with pleasure as Daniel milked him dry, the come coating his fingers.
Daniel found himself lost once more, this time on the Jack coming. He was beautiful, he thought. Then Jack's hand reminded him that he hadn't come yet. He jolted at the return of his large hand, once more fisting his erection with powerfully slow, hard, strokes, building faster and faster.
"That's it, Daniel," Jack choked, riding his afterglow as if Daniel's impending orgasm continued his own. "Fuck my fist."
Daniel's mouth dropped open as hips built a frenzied rhythm of their own, and the only thing in the universe that existed was Jack's hand and its excruciatingly tight hold.
Jack's free hand reached up to grip his hair, holding him where he could see him clearly.
Daniel couldn't look away, the hot focus of those eyes bringing him closer. Closer. Then Jack whispered, "Spill for me," and Daniel let out a cry, his eyes bright and intense as he spilled over Jack's fingers, his chest, his...face.
Jack woke sometime later, aware of something new and strange: Daniel's sleepy body plastered against his side, his arm possessively around his waist. Jack had been wondering when Daniel's possessiveness would ever show itself again. The last time he'd seen it was when Daniel was with Shau're, and that had been seven years ago. Seems that it only needed a person to be activated, and he, apparently, was it. Jack indulged in a secretive smile.
He was suddenly aware of the view before him. This was Daniel, he told himself, amazed and a bit embarrassed. Daniel.
The need to touch, explore, experience, filled him and he moved, pushing Daniel gently onto his back. His hand stretched out over Daniel's chest, skimming what seemed like miles of golden skin. Strong, hard muscle felt gloriously alive under his fingers, and he moved his hand down, tracing soft, warm skin...and tacky, drying semen. It brought another smile to his lips.
A nipple, brown and pink both, tantalizingly close and Jack bent, licking the nub, watching it harden. Goose bumps formed over Daniel's skin and Jack looked up, finding Daniel watching him.
"Hey," he said.
Daniel smiled, a soft "Hey," following. He turned, the action forcing Jack back a bit. He sought out Jack's lips, kissing lightly, then harder, pushing Jack onto his back and into the bed. His tongue devoured Jack's mouth, seeking out everything as if memorizing, plunging deep at times, mimicking a slow fuck. When he pulled back, Jack was breathing hard. He felt the drying come on them both and felt the acute need to taste everything, and taste it wet. He shot Jack a dark, sexual look. "C'mon," he said, getting up and pulling Jack with him.
"Where?" Jack asked, groaning as his body protested the movement. He wanted to stay where he was.
Daniel looked over his shoulder and smiled at the disapproving look on Jack's face.
"Shower," he answered as he led Jack into the bathroom situated along the back of the cottage. It was built as an extension of the wall, enclosed by walls of glass and tile, and the view was a dense patch of forest. It reminded Daniel of a sun porch or upscale greenhouse. The 'shower head', to the right, was the faucet, and when the water turned on, it flowed from the square opening in the wall like a waterfall.
They'd already experienced the shower facilities before, but this time, it was different. As Daniel pushed Jack against the wall, letting the just-hot water drench their skin, he kissed him again, passionately, loving the feel of the water running over his face. Jack made a sound of approval and ran his hands over Daniel's skin, encouraging the water to soak and clean.
Daniel felt his desire climbing rapidly and with the need to taste more, he bit and licked down Jack's jaw, throat, and over a collarbone to catch a nipple. Biting, sucking, loving the sound of Jack's soft gasps, he kept going, and suddenly dropped to his knees, his mouth laving at the hair under his navel, following the dark trail down. Daniel's hands were already on Jack's cock and balls, rubbing water over them, cleaning, teasing his inner thighs.
Jack's eyes widened a second before closing against the cascade of water over his head, moving enough to the left to get out of direct range. Daniel followed quickly, his tongue sending shocks through him as he neared his cock. The thought was enough to excite him to hardness and he couldn't help but wonder what a cock would taste like on his tongue, in his mouth--something fantasized countless times.
When his eyes were drawn down to watch, his breath hitched as Daniel looked up, his stiffened tongue licking outward, the tip skating over the head. Before he hand time to exhale and think about what he wanted Daniel to do, he watch his lips stretch as they slid slowly over his head, taking him inside.
"Daniel," he breathed, hypnotized by the sight of those lips surrounding his cock. Daniel kept watching him as he moved his mouth back and forth, humming with approval as his tongue rubbed, tasting pre-come as it flicked over the slit and probed for more.
Daniel's need climbed, and he took the entire length into his mouth, pulling back slowly, making another approving noise as if he were eating something delicious. Jack began to thrust but Daniel pulled back, grinning mischievously. Disappointment reflected in Jack's eyes and Daniel shook his head. "I'm not done," was all he said, before he dipped down, taking a testicle into his mouth, sucking gently before moving to the other.
Jack groaned and spread his legs, a hand cupping the back of Daniel's head. "Yes," he said, so quiet the word barely made it out of his mouth. Daniel's tongue found his perineum next, pressing back and forth. The touch was so damn good that Jack almost forgot about the hands rubbing his ass, kneading them apart, letting the water wash down.
Smiling over the wet skin, Daniel's hands moved to Jack's hips, gently encouraging him to turn around. Puzzled at first, then cursing himself for being dense, Jack turned, knowing full well what Daniel planned. Hesitant and holding his breath, the first touch of Daniel's tongue to Jack's sphincter made his knees wobble and he pressed against the wall. The shock to his cock was amazing against the warm tile and he rubbed while Daniel circled his hole.
Daniel smiled, continuing his new torture. "Relax, Jack," he said softly.
Jack groaned. "Any more relaxed and I'll be on the floor."
Daniel held Jack's cheeks apart and pushed the tip of his tongue at the center, letting Jack know what he meant. Jack's breathing seemed to increase, or Daniel could just be imagining it. Before pushing his tongue inside, he pulled Jack's hips away from the wall, getting a growl of disapproval.
"Sorry, Jack..." he said, just before thrusting his tongue inside and immediately pulling back.
Jack gasped loudly, closing his eyes, wondering why he'd forgotten everything on his mind a second before. He forced himself to breathe, even though he was panting, clawing at the tiled wall. Daniel was fucking him now, fucking him with his tongue, making Jack so damn hard.
Daniel rubbed his finger around the muscle as he kept tonguing him. He was about to shove a finger inside Jack when he remembered that Jack hadn't ever done this. No matter how much spit you used, it wasn't slick enough. "Don't move," Daniel told him, and quickly left the shower, not caring where he spilt the water from his body.
Jack frowned in confusion. "Where the fuck are you--"
"Back in a second," Daniel called back quickly. Finding the low cabinet in the living room, he retrieved the light blue glass bottle and pulled the stopper, smelling it. Yes, it smelled exactly like what he hoped it was, and considering the Delimare's love of sex, he was likely right. He returned to Jack, who was looking over his shoulder, his eyes on Daniel, then on the bottle.
"For all intents and purposes, lube."
"Ah," Jack replied, swallowing.
Back on his knees, Daniel poured the liquid, thick as syrup, onto his fingers. It slid silkily and he smiled in relief. He leaned in, his teeth and tongue now moving over Jack's buttocks, making him jump a little.
"God, warn a guy, Daniel."
"Okay," Daniel said, one hand reaching round to take his cock in hand. Stroking, he rubbed the slickened finger of the other hand against Jack's puckered entrance.
Jack groaned, his hips moving involuntarily. "Warning," Daniel said suddenly, and the next thing Jack knew, a slick finger was sliding inside him, aided by Daniel's tongue.
"Oh fuck," he said, startled, his ass muscles clenching even though the intrusion felt good. Too damn good.
"Relax," Daniel coaxed seductively, pressing in further, twisting slightly at the amazingly tight barrier, now reinforced with the oily liquid that the water didn't thin or wash away.
Jack tried to relax even more, but all he wanted was for Daniel to move that finger. When that abruptly happened, the finger inside him slowly sliding back and forth, Jack gasped, "Fuck me." And he realized that he didn't just mean it as a surprised curse.
Over the years, he'd thought of what this would be like. How it would feel to have a finger, a tongue, a cock deep inside him, moving, pulsing, making him come. He'd wondered what it was like to have that gland massaged, whether or not it was as acute a pleasure as some of his reading material had said it was. It occurred to him that maybe he should be a bit more apprehensive than he really was, but in reality, he was nearly fifty years old, and there really was no more time for him to be feeling...well, virginal. He was long past that.
As he tightened the muscles of his ass around Daniel's finger, the image of Daniel inside him filled his mind. What would he feel like, sound like, be like?
And Jack thought he was ready for it. But when Daniel's tongue teased his opening, he realized that Daniel's finger was moving deeper, twisting, pressing down and in. A stray piece of humor entered his mind and he thought to ask if Daniel was digging for gold but there was a sudden electrical surge, as a fire was lit from within. All cognizant thought abruptly fled.
"Fuck me!" he cried out in alarm, his muscles clamping down.
Daniel grit his teeth against the pressure surrounding his finger. He pumped Jack's cock slowly while he pulled his finger back and thrust, trying to force the man's muscles to adapt and loosen. He found that one spot again and again, forcing harsh panting and intermittent cries of pleasure, eventually getting Jack to loosen up.
Jack felt his legs weaken, his body telling him to move. He pushed Daniel's hands away and turned, bringing him roughly to his feet. His body felt bereft at the sudden losses of pleasure, but other needs soared through him. He pushed Daniel against the wall now, kissing him hard before he pulled away.
"Grab that bottle," he said, and shutting off the water, he dragged Daniel swiftly back to the bedroom.
Bottle in hand, the stopper having been left on the floor of the shower, Daniel tried to be careful not to spill it. As Jack took it from him and shoved him onto his back, he realized that their wet bodies were making the coverlet wet.
"Jack, we're getting the bed wet."
"Going to get worse," Jack mumbled as he kissed his way down Daniel's body and without delay, took Daniel's cockhead into his mouth. Daniel arched off the bed, calling out his name, and Jack smiled around the silky heat.
It tasted fucking beautiful. As he immersed himself in the new taste, he spilled lube over his fingers and onto Daniel's balls and thighs, thickly coating them all. Daniel's fingers threaded through his hair, clamping down as Jack rubbed a finger around his hole.
"Jack," Daniel chanted, and spread his legs eagerly as Jack pushed a finger in. "Yes," he gasped. He felt Jack searching and guided his hand. "Right behind my cock," he whispered, then cried out with the same sounds as Jack when the man found the spot...and rubbed repeatedly while he fucked him with interest. Daniel's body bucked and thrashed, Jack's weight pinning his legs down to keep most of him on the bed. "Jack," he said, trying to pry him loose.
Jack looked up, his mouth still around the head of Daniel's cock. He pulled and let it drop from his mouth. "God, you taste good. Feel good." He thrust for emphasis.
"Fast learner," Daniel rasped, and pulled at Jack's shoulders. He looked down at him, spreading his legs even wider, raising his knees. "Fuck me."
Jack damn near came from the seductive sound and took his eyes from Daniel's, taking the man's cock back into his mouth. Sucking hard, he resumed the movement of his finger until Daniel was thrusting into the air, nearly bucking Jack off each time. Jack wanted to do as Daniel asked. But desperately needed Daniel inside of him more. Perhaps it was because it was different, as he'd had his cock inside someone before, even anally. But never a man. Seemed fitting to be inside Daniel as his first, but he wanted to be done first. He didn't know why exactly and didn't question it, either.
"Daniel," he said, letting him go and sitting up.
"Jack?" Daniel asked, his breathing harsh, his cock throbbing. He watched, realization hitting him as Jack thickly coated his cock, jacking him slowly. Jack then handed him the bottle of lube and pulled Daniel to a sitting position as he lay back, his head at Daniel's feet.
Daniel didn't know what to say, but his cock definitely answered for him, twitching almost painfully as Jack spread his legs. As an added thought, as if remembering what Daniel had done, he raised his knees.
Daniel thought of asking if Jack was sure, but he could see that he was. He definitely was. Kneeling between Jack's legs, he reached behind him and grabbed a pillow, nudging Jack to lift up as he placed it under his hips. Jack frowned at him and Daniel cocked his head to the side. "First times are painful without prep, Jack. I should actually fuck you from behind." The words rushed heat through his face. God, he wanted this so badly. "It would be more comfortable."
Jack shook his head. "I know that. But I want to see...you."
Daniel swallowed and nodded, pouring the lube over Jack's exposed hole, drizzling it up and over his ass, his balls, his cock. More over his own cock, then he set the lube on the floor. Returning, he knelt again, and with deliberately slow movements, took Jack's cock in one hand and inserted one finger back inside his body. Daniel was surprised at the relaxed muscles. "Damn, you really are ready for it, aren't you?" he said, as two fingers sheathed themselves inside, finding the muscles clench down around him. "Hmmm. Not as ready."
Jack bared his teeth, breathing through his nose as he dropped his head back. "Yes, I am. It feels good." To show Daniel what he meant, he clenched his ass and released it.
"Bastard," Daniel said, removing his fingers. He positioned himself close, his thighs widely framing Jack's ass, and a moment later, placed his cock against Jack's hole. Jack's expression was hot, lustful, needy, with a little bit of smugness. Daniel decided enough was enough. He grabbed Jack's hips and pulled toward him, sheathing his cock slowly inside.
God, it burned a bit, didn't it? A tiny bit of pain followed and Jack lost his breath, his eyes wide as he arched his back. His hands sought out the back of his knees and he pulled them to his chest and spread their distance as wide as he could. The lifting of his hips helped and the pain suddenly left, replaced with a sensation of being filled completely, as if Daniel had crawled inside him.
"Breathe," Daniel told him, biting his lip as he closed his eyes in the splendidly tight heat. He suddenly wondered if he was telling Jack...or himself. He let out his own breath, trying not to move too quickly or it would all be over in seconds.
"Trying," Jack replied, his pants coming in shallow spurts. It felt so damned good, he thought. He had to have more and pushed his heels into Daniel's ass, driving him balls deep.
"Fuck, Jack!" Daniel cried out and dropped his head down, breathing deeply, his hands clamped down over the coverlet. He heard a satisfied groan and looked up, finding Jack giving him another smug grin.
"Isn't that what you're doing?" he asked, flexing the muscles of his ass.
Daniel swallowed, trying so hard not to come yet, but he knew the moment he started to thrust, he'd be lucky if he lasted two minutes. He stared down into the handsome face, the dark eyes aching for release. Jack's upper lip shone with a bit more sweat than the rest of his face, and Daniel felt an amazing shudder flush his own skin. Jack looked...
Jack watched Daniel purse his lips, and his eyes flashed. "Daniel, so help me god, if you say 'beautiful', you're a dead man."
Daniel tilted his head with sarcasm as he pretended to consider Jack's threat, then curled his hand tightly around Jack's cock, making the man gasp. "You may consider that threatening me while I have your release in my hands--and more accurately, around my cock--isn't going to work."
"Point," Jack answered quietly, his hands smoothing over Jack's chest, pinching the nipples briefly before sliding up into Daniel's hair.
Daniel stared down into Jack's face, over his chest, looking down at the cock in his hand and his cock in Jack's ass. He then released Jack's cock and placed both hands on either side of his shoulders. Rolling his hips slightly, he watched Jack's face assume a look of pleasure and did it again. Jack's skin flushed as shudders moved through him. "Beautiful," he said quietly, and before Jack could say anything, he pulled back and thrust home. They both groaned at the amazing pleasure. Daniel was also right. He wasn't going to last long. "Hand around your cock," and when Jack took himself in hand, Daniel raised his hips again and began to thrust in earnest.
The rhythm was slow at first, but sped up as the seconds passed. Daniel rolled his hips and angled his thrusts upward, hitting Jack's gland repeatedly.
"Goddammit," Jack growled, his voice gravelly and harsh. "Harder."
Daniel groaned in reply and tightened his fingers into the coverlet, holding on as he began to slam down, pulling out shouts from both Jack and himself--words both filthy and loving, desperate and satisfied.
It was astonishing, Daniel thought, just before his face was grabbed as he was pulled down into a fierce, consuming kiss as Jack came hard, yelling his cry of release into his mouth. The vibration and feeling of come combined with the effort of staying inside Jack's body and Daniel slammed down, coming in long pulses.
"God," Daniel gasped, heart beating wildly as he laid his head on Jack's chest, feeling the man's heart matching his own.
Jack's damp, sweat-cooling lips found Daniel's and they kissed, tasting salt and satiation.
"Okay?" Daniel asked.
"Better than okay," Jack answered.
Taking a 'real' shower, Daniel soaped Jack's body slowly. He had a question to ask and decided to stop worrying and take the bull by the horns.
"Jack?" he asked as Jack stepped under the water to rinse.
"What?" Jack asked, smoothing his hair back and brushing the excess water from his face so that he could see. He took the soap and began to return the washing favor, his hands gliding easily over skin stickily coated with dried sweat and semen.
Daniel watched Jack's face and suddenly found himself momentarily distracted. Jack had the most amazingly long eyelashes of any man he'd ever known. Shaking himself, he cleared his throat. "When we get back home..."
Jack stopped his hands, giving Daniel a look he couldn't read, but Jack's guard went up. That much he could tell. "What about it?"
"I...I don't do casual. I didn't start this as a one-off thing, so if you're even considering throwing any rules at me or--"
Jack's finger touched his lips, silencing him, his expression deadly serious. "Nothing like that crossed my mind, Daniel."
Daniel nodded, relieved.
Jack resumed his cleaning, his thoughts on all the times that this could have happened. "Think we might not have ever done anything if we hadn't been pushed?"
"Do you?" Daniel sent back.
"Probably," Jack sighed. "Makes me sound like a coward."
Daniel caught Jack's hand and kissed the palm. "You changed your mind and came back. You're hardly a coward. You only needed the circumstances."
Jack pulled Daniel's body against his, hugging him for a long time, allowing himself to sink into the very real presence of the man. "I'm glad," he whispered finally.
"Me, too," came Daniel's muffled reply, his words in his hair.
"Think you can stick around this old man for...you know...?"
Daniel smiled against his neck. "Think you already know that answer, old man," and kissed Jack hard.