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I'm starting to think that maybe you need me

Chapter Text

Taehyung came home from his shift in the hotel where he worked at the reception desk. He had day and night shifts, this week it was the night ones’ turn.

As soon as he walked in the big apartment, he noticed shoes messily lying on the ground and he sighed, knowing already what was waiting for him.

He walked into the living room, eyeing Jeongguk who was sitting on the couch, clearly drunk. It wasn’t uncommon scenery.

“How many times did I tell you not to smoke inside,” Taehyung groaned when he noticed a lit up cigarette in the alpha’s hand. He didn’t smoke much, usually only when he was drinking and this wasn’t the first time he found him inside.

“How many times did I tell you that I don’t care,” Jeongguk grumbled. Taehyung glared at him when he noticed a small, burned hole in the carpet.

“Whatever, I’m going to sleep,” the omega gave up, heading towards the staircase to go to his bedroom. It was uncommon for mates not to share a bed but he and Jeongguk were different than most couples.

They hated each other when they met so Taehyung wasn’t really surprised by their situation. How could something good come out of hate? They met in college, they were both freshmen and since the first day, they got on each other’s nerves.

Everything got even worse and their lives shattered when one day, their parents announced that they were going to mate. Taehyung never forgave his parents for selling him away and he cut his ties with them. Jeongguk did the same.

Despite their pretty much hate relationship, they were hooking up before.

 

“God, I hate you so much,” Jeongguk growled, slamming Taehyung’s back against a dirty wall of the bathroom of the club they were in with their friends. Their lips connected in a heated kiss.

“The feeling is mutual,” Taehyung breathed out when they separated.

Their friends have always been teasing them that they were just confusing hate for sexual tension and right now, as Jeongguk was kissing and biting Taehyung’s neck and the omega started feeling dizzy with lust, he thought that maybe they had a point.

“Fuck, so wet,” Jeongguk groaned as he pushed his finger inside Taehyung after they got rid of their clothes.

“Shut up and fuck me,” Taehyung got out through gritted teeth. A long moan fell from his lips when the alpha pushed second finger inside him.

When the omega was prepared properly, Jeongguk rolled condom on himself, lifting him up by his thighs. Taehyung would be lying if he said that didn’t turn him on even more. His toes curled in pleasure when the alpha lowered him down on his cock.

It was fast and rough, Jeongguk was slamming into Taehyung rapidly as they were kissing sloppily. They both came only after couple of minute, too pumped up with arousal to last longer.

“This never happened,” Taehyung looked at the other warningly as he was getting dressed.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t brag about being with you,” Jeongguk scoffed, leaving the bathroom.

 

It happened many times after that again and despite what everyone was expecting, they eventually started kinda dating. They weren’t that normal sweetheart couple, they weren’t going on cute dates, all loved up. They were fighting more often than not but there were times when they were happy together.

But then things between them started getting cold and it was just a matter of time before they’d normally break up but despite Taehyung hating his parents for what they did to him, he didn’t want their farm to bankrupt.

So they mated on one of Taehyung’s heat, shortly after their graduation, only about a year since they were promised to each other by their parents. It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon, but in the heat of the moment, when their heads were clouded, Jeongguk just sank his teeth in Taehyung’s neck, bonding him for life. Taehyung’s been blaming him for it for a long time, not willing to accept that this was it, that they were stuck together for the rest of their lives. Since then, he hasn’t spent the heat with the alpha, never really mentally recovering from that experience.

The omega sighed, looking at himself in the mirror as he stepped out of the shower. He was staring at the claim mark on his neck. He wondered thousand times before how his life would look like now if it wasn’t for that damn night and that damn pact between their fathers. Would he be happier? Would he be in a nice relationship?

He walked into the living room. The TV was on, some movie playing quietly in the background. Jeongguk was lying on the couch, snoring lightly, fast asleep.

Taehyung was watching him for a while. He was really handsome, that was a fact. Back in the college, Jeongguk was very demanded, all single omegas and betas were trying to get him. Before they mated, there were moments when Taehyung’s heart started beating little bit faster when he was looking at the alpha but that was long gone. There was nothing left between them, or at least he thought so, but strangely, the thought of Jeongguk walking away from him was scaring him shitless. He didn’t know if it was because of the bond or for some other reason but he always suppressed those thoughts deep down.

*

“Me and Joonie are trying for kids,” Seokjin admitted as he, Taehyung and Jimin were sitting in a bar. They were all omegas so they were often sticking up together. They all met in college, along with Yoongi and Hoseok as well. It’s been two years since Taehyung, Jeongguk and Jimin graudated and a bit more for the others.

“Well, you’ve been together forever so I am not even surprised,” Jimin chuckled, bumping shoulders with Seokjin. Taehyung just sipped on his wine. Namjoon and Seokjin were already together when they met them, around six years ago, so that only made sense. They got married last year so the pups were another logical step.

Seokjin looked at Taehyung, eyeing him carefully before he asked: “What about you and Jeongguk?”

“What do you think?” Taehyung snorted. All their friends knew about their situation and no one was really approving. Seokjin was now happily married to Namjoon and Jimin was with Yoongi for four years, while Hoseok’s been dating this beta girl for couple of months.

“You should try harder,” Jimin looked at his best friend pointedly.

“There is really nothing to try for. You know why we are together,” the omega shrugged.

“Yeah, right. Breaking a bond is really hard and I get that you worry about your parents deep down but if you didn’t really want to be with him, you’d do it,” Jimin retorted.

“It’s a habit by now, I guess,” Taehyung mumbled.

“You feel something for him,” Seokjin looked at him.

“I never felt anything for him,”

“Right,” Jimin snorted: “Back in the college you didn’t feel anything at all, right? That’s why you two were together for over a year before the bonding.”

“You know why we were together,” Taehyung glared at him.

“But you started fucking, I know it was arranged between you two, but you still had that chemistry, maybe you’d end up together even if it wasn’t set up,” Jimin pointed out.

“Do you sleep together?” Seokjin jumped in.

“As in sleep you mean in the same bed then no,” Taehyung rolled his eyes. Well, it wasn’t exactly true, sometimes they found themselves in the same bed, even cuddling. Their relationship was a mess.

“No, I mean like sex,” the oldest omega explained.

“Sometimes,” Taehyung admitted.

“And? What it’s like?”

“Well, honestly, sex is the only good thing in our relationship. We don’t do it often but Jeongguk’s been always good with his cock, so it can’t really be bad,”

“Well and what do you feel?” Jimin jumped in.

“Like what?” Taehyung looked at him confusedly.

“When you sleep together, you dumbass, what do you feel?” Jimin groaned.

“I don’t know, just sex, really,”

“Have you spent a heat with him since then?” Jimin asked carefully. Taehyung knew what he was hinting at - the night he bonded with Jeongguk.

“No,” Taehyung admitted: “We only fuck sometimes but never during my heat. I always handle it alone and he is out most of the time.”

Even after all this time, there was still some block inside Taehyung. It was like he didn’t trust Jeongguk enough to spend a heat with him. Sometimes it got really hard, smelling the alpha in the apartment was making him needy but there was that part of him that remembered what happened and he just couldn’t do it.

“You know, sex in the heat is the rawest, it’d help you understand what is really going on between you two. Like Jimin said, you should just break your bond otherwise. It’s not easy but…do you really wanna live in this kind of relationship for the rest of your life?” Seokjin looked at the youngest intently.

“Unless the thought of being without him scares you,” Jimin added.

“Of course it scares me, we are mates, that’s what our instincts do,” Taehyung rolled his eyes.

“You don’t mind fucking all those guys on the side?” Seokjin asked in a conversational tone. The two omegas knew about Taehyung’s occasional hook-ups. It wasn’t like it’d be happening often but he’s been with couple of different alphas since it all was arranged between them.

“Me and Jeongguk are not really together, there is nothing between us,” Taehyung said quietly, looking down at the table. Sometimes it was really hard, seeing all his friends being happy with their mates, seeing their relationships. He couldn’t help it but think about if it was possible for him and Jeongguk to have it someday but he knew it was too complicated between them.

*

“I’m going to a friend’s,” Taehyung announced casually as he walked thought the living room. An expensive perfume filled the room.

“Okay, have fun,” the alpha said quietly, averting his gaze to the side. He had his doubts, it sometimes kicked in and somewhere deep down he knew what was going on but he was in denial, not wanting to admit it to himself that Taehyung could be seeing other guys. He never caught him smelling like another alpha so he gave him the benefit of the doubt.

The door closed and the apartment fell in silence. Jeongguk sighed.

He didn’t know where it all went wrong. They weren’t the happiest couple in the world but there were moments when they were genuinely happy. Even now, sometimes they were hanging out together, laughing and all that but most of the time it was like they were two strangers.

He really did love Taehyung. Back when they started together, when they were doing okay, he genuinely had feelings for the omega. When he found out about the deal between their parents, he was furious because his father just took his choice away from him but at the same time, he was kinda happy to be promised to such a pretty omega.  Even though their relationship has never been perfect, he believed they could make it work somehow. But the past two years were a proof that he was clearly wrong. It was suffocating him and it was fucked up but he still couldn’t imagine not having Taehyung in his life.

Everything between them was just hopeless.

Taehyung came home two hours later, Jeongguk was still up, watching TV. The alpha felt an ugly feeling in his stomach but he suppressed it. He felt the hopelessness creeping on him again.

 “Why don’t we just break up?” Jeongguk spoke up casually.

“There is nothing to break when there is nothing,” Taehyung almost whispered.

“So why don’t you just leave?”

“Because you claimed me,” Taehyung glared at him: “You claimed me even though I didn’t want to.”

He knew it was selfish of him, they were both victims here but he still felt bitter. He didn’t want Jeongguk, not really and then on that heat, he just claimed him without discussing it or trying to figure out how to get out of that arrangement.

“If I remember correctly, you were begging me to do it!” the alpha snapped.

“Because I was out of my fucking mind!” Taehyung screamed back.

“And I wasn’t? I told you how hard it is for me to be with you on a heat but you begged me anyway to spend it with you, so don’t put it all on me!”

“Just go to hell, you already ruined my life!” the omega cried out.

“Whatever,” Jeongguk chuckled joylessly, getting up and putting on shoes and a jacket.

“Yeah, just go get drunk again,” Taehyung laughed.

“What else am I supposed to do?” Jeongguk turned to look at him with hard eyes: “I can’t be here with you.”

With that, he left. Taehyung didn’t know why he felt so guilty. Well, it could have something to do with the fact that he was with another alpha just an hour ago.

Jeongguk woke up with a horrible headache the next morning. He didn’t even remember that he got back home but that wasn’t anything unusual. What caught his attention was a delicious smell of food coming from the kitchen.

Taehyung sometimes did this. After a fight or some hard conversation, he would cook for Jeongguk, kinda like his offering for peace.

Jeongguk took a shower, cold water soothed his hangover little bit. He had to pull himself together, he had lots of work to do in the studio today and an important meeting.

“Smells good,” Jeongguk got out raspily when he walked in the kitchen, only sweatpants hanging low on his hips.

“I figured I haven’t made a proper breakfast for a while so fried eggs and pancakes won’t hurt,” the omega replied without turning from the stove. He pointed to the counter: “There are painkillers.”

“Thanks,” the alpha mumbled, taking the pill and a glass of water standing next to it. The fact that Taehyung knew he’d be hangover annoyed him but also pleasantly surprised him at the same time. He knew him well.

“You’ve got that meeting with the client today, right?” Taehyung looked at his mate when they settled at the table with the food on it.

“Yeah, it’s a big thing,” Jeongguk nodded, surprised that the omega remembered it.

“I am sure it will go well, you, Namjoon-hyung and Yoongi-hyung have been working hard on it for the past months,” Taehyung hummed around the eggs he just stuffed into his mouth.

“Want me to play you the new songs?”

“Yeah, sure,” Taehyung nodded with a tiny smile. He loved the music that the three alphas were making, it was always so good.

Jeongguk pulled out his phone, putting a song on: “It’s just a demo but it’s pretty much final product.”

A hip hop song with a melodic chorus came up, filling the silent apartment. Taehyung was bouncing his leg to the rhythm, he really liked it.

“It’s really good,” the omega nodded in acknowledgement. Jeongguk played him two more songs, receiving compliment after each.

They ate the rest of the breakfast in silence but it wasn’t uncomfortable. That was just how they rolled, their relationship was really weird. One day they were able to nearly rip each other’s throat apart and then the next day, they were acting as if nothing happened, talking normally.

“Don’t. You made the breakfast, I am gonna wash it,” Jeongguk stopped Taehyung when the omega got up, cleaning up the table.

“Okay, thanks,” Taehyung nodded, putting the dishes to the sink. The alpha came over, filling the sink with warm water and bubbles. Taehyung took the dishcloth, drying the dishes Jeongguk washed and put to the side. It was weirdly domestic, which didn’t happen very often.

Jeongguk looked over at Taehyung, smirk on his face. He took handful of bubbles and rubbed it over the omega’s face.

“Oi, what was that for?” Taehyung shrieked, jumping back but there was a smile playing on his lips.

“I wanted to do it,” Jeongguk shrugged, grabbing more bubbles and blowing them at Taehyung. The omega shrieked again and surged towards the sink, burying his hand in it and spreading bubbles over Jeongguk’s naked chest.

The alpha laughed loudly, grabbing Taehyung’s wrist and taking bubbles with the other hand, putting it on his hair. He was smiling, his eyes crinkled and teeth showing. It was a rare thing to see, he didn’t smile almost at all lately and Taehyung couldn’t help it but stare. Jeongguk’s always been manly with his sharp features, hard muscles, dark hair and eyes but the big bad alpha turned adorable when he was smiling and Taehyung remembered that few years ago, that smile always made his heart flutter.

He missed it.

He wondered if they could’ve been actually happy if they gave their relationship time to grow. But he was never going to find out because that didn’t happen. They mated before they could work on something and since then, Taehyung held a grudge towards the alpha.

Jeongguk threw more bubbles at him with laughter, wrapping his arm around Taehyung’s waist to hold him in place as the omega was squirming and giggling. He put his arms on Jeongguk’s chest, trying to push him away but not really. The skin under his fingertips felt hot and he suddenly felt hot too. It’s been some time since they got physical in any way and like always, there have always been times they both just got worked up.

Taehyung surged forward, crushing their lips together in a heated kiss. Jeongguk didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, their teeth and tongues clashing together. Low growl bubbled in his chest when the omega’s nails dag into his chest and he grabbed his hips, bringing him closer. He felt his heart beating faster.

He really did love Taehyung back then and he knew he still did but it was easy to forget it when they were on bad terms most of the time. But now, he felt Taehyung trembling in his arms as they were making out and it felt like all bad was suddenly gone.

Jeongguk broke the kiss and grabbed the back of Taehyung’s thighs, lifting him up to sit on the kitchen counter. Taehyung pulled him closer so he was standing between his spread legs. The omega’s legs wrapped around his waist as they started kissing again.

Jeongguk pulled back just to get rid of Taehyung’s t-shirt frantically, revealing his torso. He leaned down, planting open mouthed kissed to the omega’s neck. Taehyung let out a breathy moan, closing his eyes and throwing his head back to give his mate better access.

They both moaned when Jeongguk rolled his hips forward so their hardening cocks brushed together.

It didn’t take them long to get properly worked up, pheromones of arousal filling the space between them.

Taehyung felt slick gushing from his entrance when Jeongguk grabbed his ass cheeks, kneading them. They kissed messily again, almost out of their minds.

Taehyung whined helplessly when Jeongguk pushed a hand down his pants, massaging his entrance.

“Fuck me,” Taehyung pulled back to look at the alpha hungrily, breathless. The alpha growled lowly at the demand, pushing one finger inside him. Taehyung gripped his shoulders for support as he started dragging the finger in and out, adding another after few moments.

Jeongguk pulled out his fingers after he stretched the other with three. He pulled back just to grab Taehyung’s pants and tug them down, until they ended up on the ground. Then he tugged down his own sweatpants so they were resting around his thighs.

They shared a lustful look and Jeongguk pulled Taehyung closer to the edge of the counter by his thighs. He lined himself up with his entrance and slowly pushed inside, making them both moan. They never used condoms together, they didn’t have to be worried about unwanted pregnancy because it was basically possible for the omega to get pregnant only during a heat or shortly before or after.

“Fuck me hard,” Taehyung bit his lip, looking at the alpha with hooded eyes as Jeongguk thrusted in and out couple of times experimentally.

The grip on Taehyung’s thighs got tighter and Jeongguk pulled him even closer to himself. Taehyung’s heels dag into his lower back as he started snapping his hips faster and harder.

“Fuck,” Taehyung whimpered. He loved when Jeongguk got rough, that was how they both always loved it and right now, when the alpha was pounding into him, he felt like in heaven. His nails dag into Jeongguk’s shoulders as a high-pitched moan ripped through his lips when the alpha hit his prostate.

“Shit, so tight,” Jeongguk groaned, burying his face into Taehyung’s neck when the omega started clenching around him uncontrollably, announcing his nearing orgasm.

“Fuck me, Jeongguk, shit,” Taehyung moaned brokenly, his legs around the alpha tightening to get him even deeper.

“Fuck, babe, you feel so good,” the alpha grunted, fingers leaving marks on the omega’s skin from how hard he was gripping his thighs. His movements started getting sloppy but he did his hardest to maintain the fast and hard pace, fucking his mate with his last powers. Taehyung’s toes curled at the praise and the pet name, his omega side loved the words of affection and he didn’t get much of it from Jeongguk.

“Jeong-…I’m-I’m-“ Taehyung gasped, sob ripping through his chest.

“Are you gonna come?” Jeongguk pulled back to look at him with dark eyes, his chest swelling with pride and smugness.

“Go on, Tae, come for me,” the alpha grunted, delivering couple more sharp thrusts right into the other’s sweet spot. Taehyung let out a broken cry as his insides erupted and he came between their stomachs.

“Fuck,” Jeongguk moaned when he felt Taehyung’s thighs shaking in his hold. It felt strangely raw whenever Taehyung was quivering under his touch and that was what brought him over the edge as well. He fucked in and out couple more times before he stilled completely, throwing his head back with a loud groan. He rolled his hips forward, hip bones pressed against Taehyung’s ass completely, as he emptied himself inside him.

They were both panting for a while. Jeongguk let go of Taehyung, supporting himself with hands on the counter.

“You have to go work,” Taehyung was the first one to speak.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk just nodded, pulling his pants back up. They looked at each other. Jeongguk was contemplating if he should lean in for a kiss. Then he just shook his head and went back to the bathroom to take another shower.

Taehyung was sitting there for a while, still naked. He could feel Jeongguk’s come dripping down his thighs. He didn’t know why he felt so dirty. Not because of what happened moments ago but what happened last night. He didn’t go all the way with the guy but it was still enough to make him feel guilty. He didn’t understand why, he felt nothing for Jeongguk, he never truly did, right? They were mates but basically against their will.

“You smell of Taehyung,” Yoongi scrunched his nose as soon as Jeongguk entered the studio. Their clients were supposed to come in the afternoon so they were making some final touches. This was a big deal, they could get really good and rich clients but they’ve been working on the songs for months, giving their everything into them, so they felt good about it.

Jeongguk studied music production at university, where he met the two older guys. His father hated this major, he wanted him to study business or something similar. After he told him that Taehyung was going to be his mate, he basically cut his ties with him, standing up on his own feet, refusing to take anything from him.

“I always smell like him, we are mates,” Jeongguk deadpanned as he sat down behind his computer.

“True but usually faintly since you don’t really spend much time together,” the older alpha grunted. Namjoon was there too, listening to their conversation silently.

“We fucked this morning,” the youngest admitted.

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” Namjoon finally jumped in with a smile.

“Not really, we do fuck sometimes,” Jeongguk rolled his eyes.

“How long it’s been?” Namjoon wondered.

“Around three weeks? I don’t know,”

“Me and Jimin fuck like twice a week,” Yoongi hummed.

“Same here,” Namjoon nodded.

“Well, last time I checked, your relationships were different from mine,” Jeongguk groaned, tired of the conversation. They had similar ones pretty often. He was tired of talking about him and Taehyung when nothing really ever changed.

Yoongi and Namjoon exchanged looks and got back to work, knowing that the youngest would always snap when they were talking about his mate.

“He went out yesterday, again,” Jeongguk broke the silence, making the other two alphas look at him.

“Guk, I know you don’t want to admit it but…do you know what it probably means, right?” Yoongi sighed.

“There aren’t any proofs, maybe I am just being too jealous,” the youngest alpha mumbled.

“I wish you were right but…things aren’t great between you two and you know him, he’s always been kinda…wild. You wouldn’t mind if he was cheating on you?” Namjoon spoke up carefully.

“Of course I’d fucking mind!” Jeongguk exclaimed: “I am going crazy at the thought he might be with other guys. But what can I really do? It’s not like I can tie him to a chair and hold him home,”

“You should talk to him, tell him that you don’t like it and ask him to be honest with you,” Namjoon looked at him sympathetically: “You can’t go on like this Jeongguk, your relationship is toxic. You should try to work on things or you should just break the bond and move on.”

“I don’t think I can move on,” Jeongguk looked at him with pained expression: “I am still hoping deep down that I can save him and fix him, that I can help him to stop doing all the stupid shit and that maybe we can be happy together and love each other.”

“And do you?” Yoongi broke the short silence.

“Do what?”

“Still love him?”

“I think so, I don’t know,” the youngest sighed, shaking his head. With the situation their relationship was in, it was really damn hard to tell if there were some feelings for Taehyung left in him. But the thought of leaving him and moving on was scaring him. Everything was so fucked up between them and he didn’t know what to do.