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Let Me Teach You Something

Chapter Text

"Welcome to Capstone!" Professor Lindon called out to the class.

He seemed a bit young to be teaching college seniors. Some of the students were older than he was. He was about Louis' age. Louis thought he was quite fit actually. Good style. Nice eyes. But so peppy. Too peppy.

Harry liked this teacher. He's so peppy. Seems nice. And unlike all the old farts that teach here he's only a little older than Harry. Harry had worked hard and taken more credits than was safe at a time and now he's getting his degree in two years! Which made him probably the youngest in the whole class.

"Settle down. Let's just go ahead and get started. As the final class of your education at this school be prepared for a lot of hard work and late nights," he eyed his students, "Luckily you won't have to do it alone. For this entire year you'll be spilt up into groups. You'll work on your senior thesis and all class work as a group. So choose wisely because once you choose you'll be stuck with them for the entire year."

Louis scanned the classroom for the most attractive person to work with. There was a cute blond boy with blue eyes. He kept scanning and landed on unruly curls and wide innocent green eyes that were nervously searching for someone he knew.

Louis kept eye contact with he kid until he could feel it and looked back at him. He tilted his head at the kid asking him to come over. Harry pointed a finger at himself unsure that this guy meant him. When Louis nodded his head Harry got up and went over to Louis' table. Louis stood up hoping to be face to face with the kid but was surprised that he still towered over Louis.

Louis rose up on his tiptoes a little and smirked, "Wanna be with me?"

The way he phrased the question made Harry pause but then said, "Sure I'd love to be in your group!"


Louis spun around. "Payno!" The two hugged and laughed. "I didn't know you were in here."

"I wasn't but I hated the prof in the other Capstone."


"Of course."

"We'll maybe you shouldn't have taken his daughter home for a night and never called."

"Eh, whatever. This class is way better obviously," he said motioning to Louis.

"You're in my group," Louis stated.


Louis remembered the kid. "Oh shit, sorry. Payno this is...," Louis turned, "What's your name?"


"Payno this is Harry. Harry this is Liam, or Payno when he's not being an ass."

Liam stuck his hand out, "Nice to meet you."

Harry took it, "Likewise."

Liam and Harry took to polite conversation and Louis shimmied through a couple tables to where the cute blond was still sitting alone.

"Still looking for a group?"

The blond boy looked up and smiled, "Actually I turned down a few hoping you would ask me."

Louis smirked at him, "Well I'm asking. You're in my group."

"That didn't sound like a question, but alright. Niall," he put his hand out.

"Louis," but instead of shaking it he grabbed it and pulled Niall back over to his table. "Alright lads, this is Niall. He's in our group."

Niall gave a small wave to the other three people now standing there.

"Oh Louis you remember my boyfriend Zayn?" Liam had his hand around the waist of a dark haired boy with high cheek bones and just the right amount of scruff.

"Yeah man I didn't know you would be in here," Louis turned to Niall, "And I already told Niall he could be with us."

"Well sorry Niall I think you were the last one added," Liam pressed.

Louis gave Liam a pointed look then relaxed and said, "Don't worry I'll take care of it." With that he took off down the isle towards the professor.

The others watched as Louis launched into an animated conversation.

"Come on, Lindon, what's the big deal?"

"Sorry Louis. It's unfair if one group is stuck with three while another has five."

"What if I got permission from the group of three."

"I don't play favorites."

Louis bit his lip, "But aren't I your favorite?"

Lindon put on a stern face, "My wife is my favorite Mr. Tomlinson."

"That's not what you said-"

"I'm so sorry Mr. Lindon!" A short-haired brunette came bounding down the isle towards them. When she finally reached the professor she was out of breath. "My counselor is an idiot."

"That's alright Ms. Burns. We're choosing groups for the year so please pick one."

"There's one with three. You could join that one right, Mr. Lindon?"

"Yes you can. They're right over there," he gestured towards the three.

"Okay thanks!"

"Well I guess the groups are going to be uneven no matter what?" Louis beamed.

"Yes Louis, now go." Louis started to walk away but Lindon grabbed his elbow gently, "And if you ever speak to me like that again I won't hesitate to get you suspended. What happened will never happen again."

Louis just winked over his shoulder and walked away.

He had his arms out wide as he approached his group. "Looks like it's the five of us for the whole year!"

Chapter Text

"That's going to be all for today guys," Professor Lindon said as a dismissal.

Students started packing up their bags to leave. "Hey so, I think we should do something together. You know get to know each other better," Louis suggested.

"Yeah that sounds great," Niall agreed quickly.

"I would but I've got a community service credit after this," Harry spoke up.

"Community service credit? Who made you take that?" Zayn questioned.

"No one. I wanted to. I love kids. And it's a credit so it's a win win."

"Right. Win win," Zayn scoffed.

Liam elbowed him gently. "I think that sounds really cool Harry."

"Yeah Haz, you're a saint," Louis teased. "Whatever. How about later then. We could meet at the pizza place around the block for dinner?"

"That works," Harry said. The others agreed and they set the meeting for six.

The group disbanded but Niall caught Louis before he left. "Hey Louis?"


"We could do something. If you don't have anything else right now I know this place."

Louis turned it over in his head. Niall was cute. And obviously interested whereas Harry didn't seem to be. "Yeah okay, sure."


Niall and Louis walked down the sidewalk away from the school with bags over their shoulders. "It's not far."

"That's okay. I don't mind."

Niall smiled, "You're gonna like it I think."

"Know me so well do you?"

"No. But I'd like to."

Louis looked right at him then. "I think I'll let you." Louis ignored the small pang of guilt he felt when a flash of curls flew through his mind.

They walked for another minute before Niall said, "Here we go." The awning was dirty and torn and the sidewalk needing a sweeping but Niall was smiling like it was the Taj Mahal.

"What is it?"

"It's my favorite smoothie place. It's great trust me."

"Hopefully looks can be deceiving."

Niall just laughed and opened the front door. "Niall, my friend!"


"How was school?"

"Great. This is my school mate Louis."

Matthew put a hand out, "Good to meet you,"

"You too."

"Usual Niall?"

"'Course. Louis what do you want?"

"Um. I don't know. I don't really drink smoothies. I'm more of a tea guy."

"You want sweet or tart?" Matthew asked.

"Tart I guess."

"I've got something for ya."

The boys found a seat while Matthew went to work. "Thanks for sticking up for me in class today," Niall piped up.

"No problem. It was my fault anyway. I wanted you in the group and didn't even think about asking the others."

"So Liam and Zayn? They're together?"

"Yeah but it's still new. Liam's not normally a relationship kinda guy. He'd rather just, excuse my French, fuck and chuck."

Niall blushed slightly at Louis' choice of words. "Oh. So what's so special about Zayn?"

"Beats me. One day Li just showed up with him he hasn't left." Niall nodded slowly. "I think it's good though. I've never seen Liam so protective over someone before."

"Zayn doesn't seem like he needs protection."

"I know right. But that's Liam for you. Once he chooses you he doesn't let go easily."

"You guys seem close?"

"Yeah we are. He's my best friend at school. Know him since orientation day. He saved my ass from some homophobic pricks."

"Wow I'm sorry."

"Don't be I'm used to it."

Louis wasn't sure but he could've sworn he heard Niall whisper Well I'm not. He'd never know though because Matthew decided to bring over their smoothies right then.

"Alright boys. Here we are. Enjoy!"

"Thanks Matt. Tell Mom I'll won't be home for dinner, okay?"

"Sure thing kid."

After Matt walked away Louis leaned over, "Is that your dad or something?"

"Or something." Louis raised an eyebrow. "He's my Mom's boyfriend. Lives with us."

Louis just nodded and took a big sip of the smoothie. His face immediately scrunched up into a sour face.

"You said tart."

"That I did." It was a good smoothie, but Louis' just more of a tea guy. But the way Niall was smiling at him with his lips around his straw Louis could learn to love smoothies.

Chapter Text

Louis and Niall spent the afternoon in the park near the school. Niall pointed out that it'd be pointless to go all the way home when they both have to come back for pizza in a couple hours. The two were really hitting it off. They both loved superheroes, chicken, and most importantly football. They talked until Niall glanced at his watch and realized they were supposed to be at the pizza place fifteen minutes ago.

"Shit," Louis spouted.

"Oops. Hope they're not waiting on us to order," Niall commented. But when they got there they saw three slightly grumpy guys waiting at a corner booth with no food.

"Sorry. We lost track of time," Niall apologized. Zayn sat on the end with Liam huddled close to him and Harry of the other side of Liam. Louis scooted into the booth next to Harry and Niall sat down last.

When recognition hit the group that Niall and Louis had spent the whole day together Louis couldn't help but notice the crinkle between Harry's eyebrows. The purse of his lips. But it quickly disappeared and was replaced by a warm smile and a, "It's no problem, but I'm starving so let's order."

They ordered two large pizzas with everything under the sun on it and went at it like they hadn't eaten in weeks.

They lapsed into comfortable silence with mouths full and company good until Harry broke it, "I think we should exchange numbers. Just in case one of us 'loses track of time' again."

He wasn't being unkind but Louis could tell something was bothering Harry.

"Sounds like a good idea," Liam piped up, "I've already got Zayn's and Louis' so I just need you two." Liam passed his phone to Harry while Harry passed his phone to Louis. Louis pulled his phone out to give it to Niall but Harry reached for it first.

Without saying anything he entered his number, saved it, and handed it to Niall. Everyone filled out new contacts and passed around phones until they were all sorted out.

"So Lindon seems like an alright professor," Niall pointed out.

"He's something alright," Louis scowled.

Liam reached across Harry to backhand Louis in the chest. "Watch it, Lou."

"I'm just saying he's a cool teacher but sort of a douchebag guy."

"I feel like I'm missing something here," Zayn said.

"Lou?" Liam prompted.

"I can't Liam. I promised."

"Alright then. Sorry guys no can do."

"Guys, Louis' fucking the teacher," Harry stated plainly. Louis turned, shocked, to a calm Harry. "What? Am I lying?"

"Is he lying Louis?" Niall asked.

Louis looked between the two then to Liam for help, who just shrugged and laid his head on Zayn's shoulder.

"I...was. I'm not anymore."

Niall let a small gasp escape but tried to keep the hurt from his face. "He's straight though. I mean he's married, right?"

"Wouldn't be the first straight guy Louis' turned," Liam supplied.

"That's true," Louis agreed. "But that's why he broke it off. Whatever it was. He didn't want to cheat on his wife anymore."

Everyone, even Zayn, murmured their opinion on the subject over the next few minutes except Harry. Harry sat stoic looking ahead of him at the painting on the wall of an Italian man with a goatee and a tomato in his hand.

Louis leaned in and whispered. "He didn't mean anything."

Harry looked back like he'd just realized where he was and said, "It's none of my business."

"Right. Of course." A little dejected Louis turned back to Niall and threw an arm over the back of the booth.

Niall was looking down at his hands when he said, "You don't really do relationships, do you?"

"No. Not really. Honestly I don't want you to think anything bad about me because I like you. You're cute and sweet and..." Louis looked Niall up and down, "cute."



"Cute enough for you to take me out?"

"Way cuter than that."

"Welp, guys Zayn and I are gonna head out." The pair quickly shuffled out of the booth and headed for the door. And if Liam had a semi he'd never tell.

"I think I'm gonna go too guys," Harry quickly said as he started to scoot out of the booth.

"No. Stay. I already know Liam and Zayn, but I'd like to get to know you guys," Louis suggested.

Harry looked to Niall and must have seen a welcoming face because he sat back down.

"Ok. Get to know me," Harry said flatly.

Louis didn't know what to do. He liked Harry, but Harry showed zero interest in him. "What happened? Why do you hate me all of a sudden? You were happy to join the group this afternoon."

"Louis, I don't hate anyone, especially someone I barely know. I just thought you were different than you are."

"And how am I exactly?"

"I don't know. The kind of guy that flirts with anything that walks by and cheats with married men." By the end of the sentence Harry's voice had raised enough that people were starting to stare.

"Harry please keep your voice down," Louis whispered.

Harry took a deep breath and leaned forward so he could see Niall. "Honestly I think you're better then that." Harry got up from the booth and walked out the door. Louis was red-faced and hot on his tail. Niall shuffled shyly behind the fuming pair.

Once they were outside Louis yelled to Harry a couple steps ahead of him, "You're just fucking perfect then aren't you?"

Harry stopped at that and turned around. "What? No! But at least I don't sleep with my married teacher!"

"You have no right to judge me! You don't know anything about me!"

"You're right! And I don't think I want to!"

"You've got a stick up your ass and your so fucking jealous that I don't want you!"

Harry floundered for a second in shock before shouting, "Are you fucking mental? I'm straight you fag!" Louis' mouth dropped and he lost all of his stream so quickly he almost started crying. Harry covered his mouth immediately and his eyes went wide. "Louis. I didn't mean-"

"Save it!" Louis turned back to Niall with shiny eyes. "Let's, um, let's go get our bags and I'll make sure you get home okay." Niall just nodded silently and followed Louis back into the pizza place.

Chapter Text

The next couple of months were tense to say the least. Louis and Niall were getting on swimmingly. They'd been seeing each other constantly. Louis had only slept with two other people while they were dating. Which is good considering. He'd told Niall about both. Niall wasn't excited about it, but he'd said that they weren't exclusive and he understood. But they spent many afternoons at the smoothie shop. Louis was learning to like smoothies. Louis even took Niall out on a few proper dates. Movies, dinner, even a carnival. But whenever the whole group got together things were uneasy. Louis and Harry would stare intensely at each other; sometimes with anger, sometimes with something else. They rarely spoke directly to each other but they always had an opinion about what the other was saying.

"We need to go more in depth on the background research," Louis contemplated.

"Liam, I think you're idea about expanding our solution paragraphs was better," Harry spoke to the brown-eyed boy.

Things like this were the basis of all the group work. One day while the boys were all at Louis' house, Zayn had had enough. Louis had just made a back-handed comment about Harry's lack of preparedness when Zayn spat out, "Will you two just fuck already?"

Everyone stared, stunned, at the normally calm and collected Zayn. Except Liam who smiled wide like he was proud of his boyfriend.

"Excuse me?" Harry asked incredulously.

"You heard me. I'm tired of the tension between you two. The way you look at each other. And Li says you talk about each other constantly when you're separated. And we all know Harry is Louis' type," Zayn rambled while Louis blushed furiously. "You two are practically begging to fuck each other you just won't say it."

"Zayn, I don't know if you've heard mate, but I'm straight," Harry offered.

Zayn scoffed, "Yeah. And I'm Michael Phelps." Before Harry could interject again Zayn added, "Plus, like Liam said, you wouldn't be the first boy Louis' turned."

"Hello? Don't I get a say. If you haven't figured out, I quite like Nialler here. And he's not an asshole," Louis said glaring pointedly at Harry. Niall was beaming with the confession.

"Which is why I don't get why he's with you."

"We're not with each other, I mean, it's not like..." Niall stuttered.

"It doesn't matter Ni. It's none of his business." Louis still wasn't looking anywhere but at Harry.

Silence stretched over the group until Liam muttered, "Zayn please, for the love of God, can we leave?" Before Liam had even finished the sentence Zayn was grabbing up their books and pulling Liam behind him. The two exited Louis' house and left the other three to deal with the tension.

Niall squeaked out, "Lou, do you want me to go?"

Louis finally looked away from the curly-headed boy to the blond and sighed. "No Ni, you don't have to. We still have a lot left to do. I'm not going to fail this class because of one bad apple." Niall nodded.

Harry squeezed his lips into a thin line and breathed slowly out his nose. "Fine. Let's finish tonight's work."

Niall smiled then, "Good," then mock whispered, "I actually rather like you Harry."

Harry smiled back genuinely. "I like you to Niall."

The three kept working until rather late and Niall finally hit his hand on the table and said, "I'm done. I'm tired. And hungry. And I'm going home."

"You drove right?" Louis asked.

"Yes, dear," Niall mocked. "I'll text you later." Niall leaned into Louis and Louis offered his cheek. Niall kissed it quickly, gathered his stuff, and left.

Harry was nose deep in a large textbook when Louis sighed heavily.

"Do I need to leave?"

"Yes. No. I mean you don't have to, but aren't you tired?"

"I don't sleep much. I do my best work at this time of night."

Louis nodded slowly. "Well I'm famished," he tried, "I could make you something."

Harry saw Louis was actually trying to be civil so he nodded his head and said, "That'd be great."

Louis headed to the kitchen to put tea on and make some sandwiches. "You drink tea?" Louis called to the dining room.

"Constantly," Harry called back.

"Thank God! Niall doesn't drink tea."

Harry was silent for a minute. "So Niall? You guys are really like a thing?"

Louis ignored the worried tone of Harry's voice and answered. "I don't know. I don't really do-"

"Relationships. Yeah, I know," Harry said irritation almost apparent in his voice.

"Yeah. So it's just sort of weird to want to actually be around him when we're not like..."

"I get it," Harry said quickly.

Louis walked back to the table with food and drink. "No actually. I mean we haven't. Not yet. He won't. Not that I have to. But it's like he doesn't. I don't know." Harry wondered if Louis even knew he was there anymore when he added, "He swears he's gay, but I'm not sure," and looked up to Harry who was looking back, shocked. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I just told you that."

"No it's, I don't mind, I mean," Harry paused to take a big gulp of tea, "Why are you still, I don't know. Why are you still with him, then?"

Louis laughed at that. "Because Styles. Believe it or not, I'm not all about the sex. Niall's great. Sweet, and funny, and so nice to me."

Harry seemed to consider that. "Well, so is Liam? You wanna date him?"

Laughed barked a laugh and said, "Yeah, no! But I don't want to kiss Liam either."

"You want to kiss Niall?"

"Yeah of course I do," Louis answered quickly.

"Really?" Louis looked at Harry confused. "It's just. I see you guys together sometimes. And actually it seems to me that you're the one whose straight."

Louis burst then. Laughing like that was the funniest thing he's ever heard. When he finally caught his breath again he said, "Oh honey. I'm gay. I'm so gay. I love men and their di-"

"Yeah I know!" Harry said quickly. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe it's not the gender, maybe it's the person." Harry shrugged. "Maybe you're just not into him."

Louis went to answer but stopped and thought.

Maybe Harry's right?

Chapter Text

Louis walked into his small one bedroom home after work and flopped down on the couch.

Are you home?

Louis sent to Niall's phone.

A few moments passed before Louis' phone buzzed with an answer. Just. Why?

Can I come over?

When Louis got a Yeah, sure he put his coat back on and grabbed his keys.

Niall answered the door in his work uniform and ran his hand through his hair. It had been nearly two weeks since Harry brought up that maybe he's just not into Niall, and since then Louis had noticed so many things. One of them being that Louis didn't bother to learn much about Niall's daily schedule. Much less learn that he even had a job.

"Come on in." Louis walked into Niall's apartment and shook off his coat. Niall reached for it and hung it on the rack. When he turned back he said, "What's up?"

Louis walked over the couch and sat down, patting the seat next to him for Niall. Once Niall sat Louis huffed out, "Are you interested in seeing where this goes, like, down the line?"

"What do you mean, Lou?"

"I mean like, you're super cute Ni, and funny, and you've made me actually like blended fruit drinks," Niall smiled at that, "but are we going anywhere? I only ask because together we don't seem like we're going anywhere. I don't know if that's the impression you're getting but, I don't know," Louis waved his hands.

"Are we like breaking up?"

"We're not-"

"Together I know, Louis. You say it almost everyday. But, I don't know, I thought we were maybe getting there."

"Really?," Louis asked gently.

Niall opened his mouth to answer and then closed it. He opened it again to say, "This is about Harry, right?"

"What? No!" Louis defended himself.

Niall scooted back on the couch and said, "Yes it is. This is about you and Harry. It always has been. You want him so badly and you can't even see it!"

"I dont, Ni!," Louis shouted. "Plus it wouldn't matter; he's not gay," he said softer.

Niall stood up at that. "Oh for the love of God, please, don't give me that crap! He looks at you like he'd take you then and there if you gave him your permission!"

Louis jumped up in shock. "That's insane. He can barely even stand me!"

Niall sighed and said calmly, "You are so blind." He shook his head. After a minute of silence Niall admitted, "I get it. I sorta figure this would happen soon enough. I'm just not what your looking for." By the end Niall had started to tear up.

"Oh Niall," Louis reached for him and pulled him in. "I actually thought I was doing this right, you know?" he said into Niall's hair.

"You almost were. You were nice. Mostly attentive. You paid for everything." They both laughed at that. "You just didn't want me."

"But I love spending time with you. We get on so well. We like the same things. We can watch football together."

Niall pulled out of Louis' hug and smiled meekly. "Louis?"


"We're mates."

Louis' eyebrow came together and he purses his lips. "I guess we are."

Niall kissed Louis' cheek and combed his fingers through Louis' hair. "Can we be best mates who maybe cuddle while we watch sports? Or hold hands if we're bored?"

Louis grabbed Niall's hand from his hair and planted a kiss to the knuckles. "Absolutely."

Niall blushed and nodded his head towards the TV. "Everton played Man City today and I haven't watched it yet?"

They settled on the couch after grabbing some chips and Niall laid back into Louis' chest. Louis played with Niall's hair while snacking and watching a bruising loss for Everton.

By the time the game was over it was well past dark and getting late. "I should go. We've got class tomorrow and I haven't finished my citations."

"Slacker," Niall teased, but got off Louis so he could go.

Louis pulled his coat back on and went back to where Niall was standing by the couch. "I'm sorry for leading you on."

"You weren't the first and you won't be the last."

"Don't let anyone make you think less of yourself though Ni. You are amazing. And I'd be lucky to have you."

"But you don't."

"I don't deserve to." Louis leaned in to kiss Niall's cheek softly.

Louis was just about to open the door when Niall said, "Talk to Harry."

Without turning around Louis said, "He's straight."

Niall laughed softly, "We'll see."

Louis opened the door and took a step to leave but turned instead. "Ok I like him," Niall shook his head like 'Oh, really?' but Louis continued, "But despite my reputation I don't actually take advantage of naive straight guys. I won't force Harry to like me. I won't force my feelings on him."

"So what are going to do?"

"Nothing, I guess." Louis looked to his shoes. "I won't say anything to him. It's just six more months then we'll all separate and none of this will matter."

Niall sighed purposefully, "Alright then. I guess that settles that."

Louis turned and actually kept walking this time. Niall watched until he got to the elevator and got in then closed the door. Niall leaned back against the wood. "This is going to end badly."

Chapter Text

"Alright! Ladies and gentlemen! Here are your guidelines for your Midterm Project," Lindon spoke as he passed out papers to the class. "You'll chose any topic from the list and do an in depth, interactive research project and present it as a group." Everyone started murmuring immediately. "You will be graded as a group, don't forget, so work hard and work well!" he shouted over the class.

The groups huddled together to pick a topic. Liam held the paper and read out loud, "The effects of social class on language and vocal etiquette. Differences between meal preparation in modern societies and ancient civilizations. The effects of different musical styles on a person's mood and behaviors."

"Yes!" Louis and Harry both shouted at the same time. They didn't look towards each other but Liam looked between them and smiled.

"What's everyone think of that one?"

"Sounds good to me," Niall agreed.

"Why not?" came Zayn's answer.

Once they all settled into the topic, and got out laptops and notebooks and tablets to start researching, Louis finally let his eyes wander to Harry. He had his eyes locked on something on his computer screen and his hand was writing short hand notes on his paper. The skin between his eyebrows was scrunched together and his tongue was stuck out a tiny bit in concentration. Louis wanted to leap out of his chair and fling himself across the table onto Harry.

Harry's gaze flicked up, feeling someone watching, and caught Louis' eye only for a second before Louis looked back down to his tablet. A few minutes later Louis looked up again and Harry was looking towards him.

Wait. Towards him, but not at him. He was looking behind him. Louis scratched behind his head and tried to casually crane his neck to look behind him and saw a red-head looking back at Harry. She had dark brown eyes and thick lips. And she was flirting. With Harry.

Louis quickly turned back around to look at Harry. Harry caught his gaze for a split second, smirking, then looking back to the girl.

"I'll be right back." Louis stood up suddenly.

"You alright, mate?" Zayn asked next to him.

"Fine," Louis answered, "Just have to pee." Louis walked out into the hallway of the school. The air was a little thinner out here and not as filled with sluts. Louis breathed in deep and sighed out.

What the hell are you doing Lou? You can't get all worked up over someone you can't have. You've gotta get over this.

Louis walked nearly across campus to the coffee shop in serious need of some caffeine. "Venti black tea. Two sugars. Extra hot," he ordered. "Please," he added quickly.

While the barista made his drink Louis slumped against the wall and pressed his palms over his eyes. With his eyes closed, surrounded by darkness, he couldn't almost forget he's a fucking idiot.

Louis had to remedy this situation. Now. He hadn't been laid since before he broke up with Niall. Making it nearly two months of wanking and cold showers.

No more. He was going out tonight. And he wasn't going home alone.


Louis smiled tightly and muttered a quick 'Ta' before heading back to the classroom with a plan in play and a new spirit.

Louis sat down at his seat again with a dirty smile on his face. Maybe I'll go for a blond this time. I don't normally. Or maybe someone with brown eyes. Dark. Like my intentions. Ah fuck, who cares what he looks like. As long as he's good at-


Only then did Louis realize he's been humming and smiling like an idiot. "Yeah?"

"We were all sharing our ideas. Do you want to share what you've found so we can collab this week?"

"Oh yeah, sure!" Louis shared his findings about music-induced hypnosis while Harry stared intently at his mouth; his lips really. They were moving so fast. And they were so pink. And every couple of sentences Louis' tongue would peek out and lick across them to wet them again and again. Harry started to feel a stiffness in his jeans and quickly ducked his head down.

What the hell? Get your shit together. He's a dude. It's been a while since I've gotten laid. That must be it. Don't worry. Tonight. Tonight, I'll fix that.

"So that could be cool to check out," Louis said finishing his spiel.

"Yeah that sounds great," Liam offered. "Okay well I think that's everything. It's a lab day so if no one has anything else I'm gonna head off and I'll see you guys tomorrow night. My house?"

They all agreed and Zayn left with Liam and Niall followed them out. Louis and Harry were packing up when the red-head from earlier came and stood in front of Harry.


"Hey." Harry's face was filled with dirty thoughts.

"I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out with me tonight. I know a place."

"A place, huh?"

"Yeah," the girl bit her lip and nodded.


Louis thought.

"Yeah, okay." Harry pulled out his phone and they swapped numbers.

Louis finished packing his stuff up and shouldered his bag. Just as Louis was turning to walked away the girl bumped into him.

"Oh sorry, darling," she apologized.

Louis only nodded and went to leave.

"Hey Lou?" That nickname. Who gave him the right to use a nickname in that tone of voice.

Louis turned back, "Yeah?" He tried to ignore the slight crack in his voice.

"I really like that idea about hypnosis. Maybe sometime you can come over and tell me more about it," Harry said completely straight-faced.

Louis' gay not an idiot. If Harry weren't straight Louis would be 110% certain Harry was hitting on him.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

"Ok. Cool," Harry said a bit awkwardly.

"Have a good day, Harry," Louis tossed over his shoulder as he left.

Chapter Text

Louis' jeans were so tight. Like really right. And the man rubbing on them from behind was only making them tighter.

He'd been here for less than an hour and was already four shots in and thirsty for something alcohol couldn't quench. The music was loud, too loud, but Louis didn't mind. The lights were frantic and he felt bad for someone with seizure triggers in here.

The tall blond man with brown eyes was towering over Louis, encasing him is his arms and grinding on him filthily. It hadn't taken long for Louis to locate the perfect man for tonight. He did have to shoo some slut away from the guy first though. But when he took one look at Louis the guy smiled and offered his hand. The two have been sweating ever since.

And blondie has been hard for about the same amount of time. "Wanna go back to mine?" the blonde asked.

Louis laid his head back on the guys shoulder and breathed in his ear, "Absolutely."

Louis felt the guy smile against his cheek. "My name's-"

"I don't care," Louis said quickly. "Doesn't matter."

The blonde nodded understanding how this night was going to go. The man unwrapped himself from Louis and pulled him across the dance floor to the door. Once outside he handed his ticket to the valet and turned to crowd into Louis' space.

"You're extremely fit," he told Louis.

"You're not so bad yourself."

The blond tucked his head into Louis neck and starting lacing the skin with soft kisses. "I could take you right here."

"I don't think the valet who's holding your car keys would appreciate that," Louis chuckled.

The guy turned to see the valet waiting patiently for him to claim his vehicle. A very shiny, very expensive vehicle, Louis noticed.

The valet reached towards the passenger door but the blond shoo'd him off and opened it for Louis. Louis smiled despite himself and slid in.

The drive wasn't too long and led to a very tall building of fancy apartments. "Holy shit!" Louis exclaimed.

"Thank you," the guy smirked.

They got out and another valet took the keys, thanked a 'Mr. Reynolds', and drove the car away.

He wrapped an arm around Louis waist and pulled him past the swooshing doors. "Evening Mr. Reynolds!" the receptionist piped up.

"It's," he looked at his watch, "three AM T.J."

"Yes but you haven't been home yet today so this is like your evening for me, sir."

"Fair enough," he said as he ushered Louis into the elevator.

Once the door closed Louis took the opportunity to lightly shoved the blond into the wall and run his hands down his chest. "Ok so fuck it. I can't call you Mr. Reynolds," Louis stopped to raise an eyebrow, "unless that's what you're in to?" The guy shook his head with a slight smile. "Well then, how about your name?"

"Names now? I thought we weren't doing that."

"Well I wasn't expecting everyone to throw Mr. Reynolds at me. So now I need to know." Louis leaned up on his tiptoes and nibbled at his jawline.

The guy tilted his head back to allowed Louis better access and grunted out, "Cameron."

Louis smiled against his skin. Cameron, he thought, nice.

The elevator came to a stop and and the door slid opened straight into a top floor suite. One wall was all windows and the city outside was lit brightly. Cameron must've seen Louis' shock because he said, "Best view in the city."

But when Louis turned Cameron wasn't looking out the window but at Louis. He blushed red at the compliment. "You're very smooth," Louis offered.

"No," Cameron pulled Louis in, "I just say what's on my mind."

Louis leaned up and kissed Cameron for the first time tonight. It started soft, but almost immediately pushed into hungry and dirty. When Louis needed a breath he pulled back barely an inch and said, "Bedroom?"

"First," the man nodded, "you know my name but-"

"Will. It's Will."

Cameron smiled. "Will," he took Louis' hand and lead him past double doors into a large room with a king bed and plush pillows. "Welcome."

Louis smiled like a child, ran, and jumped on the bed face first. He heard Cameron laugh behind him and say, "Shoes off the bed, please."

Louis quickly sat up and kicked his shoes off onto the floor. He scooted back until his back hit the headboard and smiled up at Cameron. "Come here," Louis said lowly.

Cameron's pupils widen and he slid off his jacket and shoes before crawling up the bed. He settled between Louis legs and kissed Louis cheek, jaw, chin, and then down his throat. Louis leaned his head back when he felt Cameron start to suck on the skin covering his jugular. Cameron kept nibbling and sucking until Louis let out a high pitched whine.

Cameron tugged on the hem of Louis' shirt, "Off. Now."

Louis struggled to get his black tee off as quickly as possible and put his hands on Cameron's chest. "Yours too," he said a little out of breath already.

Cameron smirked again and sat back on his knees to unbutton his shirt slowly. Louis watched his hands move over every button, skin peaking out a little more every second. Louis felt himself getting harder and had to bite back a moan when Cameron got to the last button and slid his shirt off.

"Quite," Louis breathed, "fit."

Cameron ducked his head down and kissed at Louis' chest. He ran his lips over Louis pecs and latched onto his right nipple, sucking it between his lips. Louis keened at the feeling and a hand flew to Cameron's well-styled quiff.

If I know one thing, that's true

It ain't what you say, it's what you do

Louis groaned and said, "Shit sorry. Lemme just turn it off." He pulled it out of his pocket saw something he definitely wasn't expecting. Harry Styles was calling him. "Can I just?" Louis pointed to the phone.

"Of course," Cameron said easily.

Louis answered it. "This better be good Styles." Cameron leaned in and kissed Louis necked while Louis tried to pay attention. He for sure missed something though cause next thing he knew Harry was crying. Louis pushed Cameron back with an apologetic look and said into the phone, "One more time?"

Can you come get me? Harry was crying into the speaker.

Louis immediately slid off the bed and found his shirt. "Where are you?"

"Um, this club. I don't know. It's called," Louis heard silence for a minute.

"Harry, what's the name?"

"I'm trying. I can't really," another moment of silence, "Filter? Falter? I can't see the sign is blurry." Harry was crying heavier now.

"I know the place. I'll be there soon. Don't fucking move, Styles." Louis hung up the phone. With his shirt back on Louis toed into his shoes and turned back to Cameron who was putting his clothing back on as well. "I'm so sorry. My friend needs-"

"It's okay. I mean the lonely wank won't be okay, but you're okay."

Louis chuckled thankfully at him and kissed his cheek. "My car is at the club. Would you mind," he smiled hopefully at Cameron.

"Of course, Will." Cameron pulled his jacket back on and grabbed his keys from the dresser. "Let's go."

Louis sat quietly almost the whole way back to the club before breaking the silence. "You're really fit." Cameron just gave a laugh at that. "I just mean. You're good-looking, obviously wealthy, and really nice." Cameron just waited for Louis to say what was coming. "Why are you picking up young lads in clubs?"

Cameron nodded, knowing it was coming. "I'm," Cameron took a long breath, "I'm not out."


"It's fine. I'm not like ashamed or anything. But I'm under the microscope a lot so I'm just not ready for everyone to know just yet. I don't need newspapers and blogs writing about my sexual orientation. I need them writing about my business strategy."

Louis nodded and then realized he should vocally acknowledge in case Cameron couldn't see him. "That sorta sucks. But it makes sense."

They pulled up to the club and Louis got out and shut the door but tapped on the window. It rolled down smoothly.

"Yes, love?"

Louis blushed at the endearment. "My name's not Will."

"I figured. That's okay."

Louis stood up while Cameron rolled the window back up and pulled away.


Louis pulled up to the curb of Filter and saw Harry sitting there with his arms across his pulled up knees and his head dropped onto his arms. Louis put it in park and quickly got out. Harry lifted his head at the noise and his eyes were bloodshot and he had a bloody lip.

Louis squat down in front of him and put his hands on Harry's arms for support. "Shit, Harry. Are you alright?" Louis said trying to stay calm.

"I can't even believe..." Harry trailed off.

"Let's get you out of here." Louis put one Harry's arms over his shoulders and lifted him up. Harry's legs immediately gave out and Louis had to support his full weight. He practically dragged Harry to the car, his head lolled to the side and his feet stumbling over each other.

Louis opened the door and deposited Harry into the passenger seat. He had to put Harry's legs, one at a time, into the car because Harry wasn't moving them.

He got himself into the drivers seat and pulled off. "Harry?"

"Lou?" Harry whispered, eyes closed.

"Yeah it's me."

"Lou," Harry cried softly this time.

"What happened to you?"

Chapter Text

What the hell are you doing, Styles? Why are you even here? Who are you?

Harry was swaying awkwardly to music that was too fast for his long limbs. The pretty red-head from class was moving to a much better rhythm in front of him. Harry had no idea how he got here. He didn't agree to go to clubs with random girls he didn't know.

But Louis had just been standing there. Watching him. He didn't know what came over him. And now here we was. Stiff and uncomfortable as this poor girl tried to dance for the both of them.

The girl, Shelia, turned around to face him. "You need a drink honey."

That was another thing. The only reason Harry got in here was because Shelia was friends with the bouncer and didn't ask to see ID. But Harry rarely drank, and never bought alcohol seeing as he was underage.

"I'm okay."

Shelia leaned in closer to be heard over the music. "I'm getting you a drink." And with that she swayed her hips to the beat as she made her way to the bar, leaving Harry to sway alone on the dance floor.

Everyone was moving in what seemed to be a mass glob of skin. Harry had never been to club before. And now that he had we wasn't sure what all the hype was about.

"Here we go, love!" Shelia was back with two bright blue something's in her hands. She held one out to him.

"Oh no, thankyou," Harry tried to yell over the music, but Shelia just pushed the drink into his hand anyway.

"It's delicious. You barely even taste the alcohol."

Barely any alcohol? Well it can't be all that bad, right?

Harry hesitantly put the drink up to his lips. The liquid was warm and even a little tingly. But as in went down Harry could tell she was right, barely an alcohol taste at all. It's was all a mix of tangy and a little sour.

"Wow that's really good!" Harry shouted.

Shelia just laughed, "I'm glad you like it. Now dance with me!"

She grabbed Harry's hand and put it on her waist while she leaned into him. They rocked against each other for a while before Shelia piped up, "I need to use the restroom. I'll be back."

Harry just nodded politely at her, his head swimming a little from the drink. He figured while he was waiting he might as well get a refill. The bartender mixed another and slid it to Harry. He took a big gulp and leaned against the bar.


Harry looked over and saw a man smiling at him. "Hey," Harry said back cheerfully.

"Good drink?"

"Yeah, really good," Harry giggled out.

"Wanna make it better?"

Harry didn't think he could, but yeah duh he did. "Sure!"

The man chuckled at him and pulled out a little baggie. "The name's Crantz. Tell everyone where you got it," and with that the man poured the powder into Harry's drink. It dissolved almost immediately.

Harry knew somewhere in his mind that he should ask what that was, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He just smiled at the man and walked off towards the dance floor.

He danced alone for a minute before Shelia came and found him. She leaned up into his ear and whispered,"Miss me?"

Harry just realized she was gone but said anyway, "Yep!" He took another gulp of his drink. That guy was right. His drink was way better now. He was way better now!

Harry pulled Shelia up to him and dance on her while she made a noise of surprise but gave in to him.

The more Harry dance the rougher he got. He starting squeezing her arm or gripping her waist. Shelia only seems slightly put off so Harry didn't notice. But when he put a hand around her neck, just barely squeezing, Shelia made a sound of protest and Harry squeezed tighter.

With Harry's drink empty, he dropped the glass to the floor and heard it shatter but didn't care. He pulled Shelia by the throat to him and kissed her hard. She tried to push against him, but he was stronger than her.

He pushed his tongue into her mouth while she pursed her lips trying to keep him out. He won in the end and licked into her mouth. Shelia was making strangled protests and finally Harry pulled her back a little. What he saw would cause him nightmares he knew.

She wore a look of complete fear on her face and her eyes were wet with unshed tears. Shelia swung a hand at Harry's face and landed it right on his bottom lip. He felt the sting and warmth of the fast blow. Harry let go of her neck as if it burned him and stumbled through the club to the exit.

The air outside was cold but it shocked Harry's body just a little bit more into sobriety. He walked unsteadily until his legs gave out and he fell to the sidewalk outside the club. His legs hung over the curb and his arms were limp beside him.

What the hell was that?! You just...and you...oh God! That poor girl!

Harry starting crying and then couldn't stop. Tears were running down his face and getting all over his shirt. Eventually he cried enough that he went a little numb. He couldn't feel his body anymore, or maybe it was the stuff he drank?

He suddenly realize he wasn't at home and needed to get there somehow. Shelia drove them to the club but he was sure she wasn't up for giving him a ride home.

His parents lived two hours away and he'd never let them see him like this. He could call Liam but he knew Liam would look at him with either reproach or pity, and he wanted neither.

If he called Zayn the news would surely get back to Liam and, same problem. He couldn't call Niall after what happened with...he could. He shook the though away but came back to it. Call Louis. Louis does that stuff all the time he'd probably understand.

Harry pulled out his phone and dialed the number he'd never used before. It rang multiple times and Harry was about to hang up when he heard a short, breathy 'This better be good, Styles."

"I need. Can you come. I don't know what's happening," Harry slowly started to cry again at the pressure of having to ask for help.

"One more time?"

"Can you come get me," Harry sobbed.

"Where are you?" Louis said immediately.

Harry picked up his head slowly feeling like it weighed a hundred pounds. He looked around but all he saw was blurry lights. "Um, this club. I don't know. It's called," Harry tried to focus on the lights above the door but couldn't.

"Harry, what's the name?"

He focused harder. "I'm trying. I can't really," he squinted, "Filter? Falter? I can't see, the sign is blurry." Harry let out a loud sobbed at his failure.

"I know the place. I'll be there soon. Don't fucking move, Styles."

The phone went dead and Harry pushed it back into his pocket. His tears were coming out without noise now. Just streams of wet on his face. He pulled his knees up and set his arms and head down on them.

What have you done?

With that one thought Harry cried until there were no more tears and he felt like a blob of self-hate. He'd stopped listening to the sounds of the city and the club and just sat there with his eyes closed.

He did hear a squeal of tires coming to stop very close to him and the bang of door. He tried to lift his head to see what was happening but couldn't be sure if he did it.

A voice said something and then his name but he couldn't understand. He tried to respond. "I can't even believe..." he whimpered.

"Let's get you out of here," he heard the voice close to his ear.

Soon enough he felt body warmth against his arm and torso. He was being lifted up but his legs wouldn't stand steady and he nearly fell back down again but the body warmth held him tight.

He was standing and then he was sitting. But not on concrete he was leaning back against something smooth. He let his head fall back, closed his eyes, and just stayed there.

He felt hands on his legs but couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. Then the noise from outside was abruptly muted. Then the noise flooded in before being muted again. Now the noises were that of an engine and tires on the road.

"Harry," he heard his name and recognized the voice. He loved that voice and wanted to hear more.


"Yeah, it's me."

Harry realized that Louis was seeing him like his and let out a small whine. "Lou," he said pathetically.

There was a moment of silence and Harry about to ask the voice to talk again when it said, "What happened to you?"

Chapter Text

"Harry you have to tell me where you live so I can take you home," Louis said for the fourth time.

But like each time before Harry just made a whiny noise in the back of his throat.

Louis wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know where to take Harry. He didn't know anyone that knew where he lived. Finally, he just sighed and resigned to take him back to his place. One night on the couch wouldn't hurt him.


Louis looked over quickly and saw that Harry's eyes were barely open. "Harry, thank God. I thought you might be brain dead."


That all he's said since he got in the car. Just Louis' name. Not even his name. A nickname. Just the nickname Harry graced him with.

"What's your address, honey?" Louis tried again.

"Lou," this time it was sweeter than the other pitiful times Harry had said it.

Louis looked over again and Harry had a watery smile on his face. His eyes were still drooping but his dimples were prominent. Louis sorta wanted to kiss them.

"Yes, Hazza?" Harry let out a quiet chuckle at that but said nothing more. "Well, I'm going to have to take you back to my place tonight. Is that okay?"

Harry just made another, slightly less whiny, noise. Louis took that as a yes and headed back home.

Getting Harry out of the car and into the house was less hard than pulling teeth but harder than his nice, soft bed. Which he wished he was laying on now. But instead, right now he had one of Harry's arms over his shoulders again and was lifting him up the couple of steps to Louis' front door.

He tried to put the key in the lock and keep Harry steady but Harry was leaning on Louis so heavily that Louis had to lean Harry against the door to use his key. When he did get it open Harry stumbled backwards into the house.

Harry caught himself before he fell and looked back to Louis. Louis followed him inside and pointed to the couch. "I'll get some blankets and stuff."

Harry went and sat on the couch while Louis went to the hallway closet to grab linens. When he came back Harry had kicked off his shoes and laid down, curled up. Harry curls were splayed out all over his face and he was worrying his bottom lip with his teeth.

Louis couldn't help but smile as he covered Harry up with the blankets and slipped a pillow under Harry's head. Harry snuggled in on himself and dug his face into the pillow. Louis reached out to push the curls out of his face but suddenly remember what he was doing and backed up.

He left Harry on the couch and headed for his room. Once he had the soft comforter in sight he flopped down onto it and let out a heavy sigh.

I could be having mind-blowing sex with hot as coals Cameron but instead I'm laying alone in my own bed with a straight man on my couch. What is my life?

Louis kicked off his own shoes and shrugged out of his jeans and shirt. As soon as he was under the covers he felt tired. As soon as his head hit the pillow his eyes started to droop.

Just as he was about to slip into sleep he felt the bed dip. Before he could turn over an arm wrapped around his waist.

"I don't want to be alone," Harry slurred. Louis could smell the alcohol on his breath. He must still be drunk.

Louis thought about throwing Harry out of his bed and out of his house, but then he heard a quiet sniffle from behind him. So instead he pulled Harry's arm closer and snuggled back into him.

"Goodnight, Hazza."


Louis woke up to the smell of bacon and eggs. That was something he didn't get to enjoy, well, ever. He never cooked. Ever.

"Harry?" Louis called out.

A few seconds later Louis heard a patter of feet on wood and then Harry stuck his head in the door of Louis' bedroom.

"Oh, finally. You're awake."

"Finally? What time-," Louis cut off when he saw the clock on his nightstand, "Four o'clock!"

"Yeah tell me about it. You sure can sleep. I've only been up since noon but I didn't want to wake you," Harry looked shy, "but I got hungry."

Louis couldn't help the fond smile that spread across his face. "That's okay," Louis pulled back the covers and stood up. He craned his neck left and right trying to stretch out his muscles.

He reached up above his head until felt his shoulders pop. He bent over and felt his lover back stretch. When he looked back up he found Harry had taken a step further into the room. His eyes were wide and he had his bottom lip between his teeth.

"Harry?" Harry snapped out of his daze and ran out of the room. Louis ignored the weirdness that was Harry Styles and went to his dresser and found a pair of sweats and a jumper to lounge in while he ate.

When he got out the kitchen Harry was working over the stove murmuring to himself. Louis only caught pieces of it. 'Not right.' 'Stop it.'

Louis coughed and Harry jumped. "Shit, Lou-ee," he finished awkwardly.

"You can call me Lou, Harry. It's not illegal." Harry just nodded at that and turned back to the stove. "What are we havin'?" Louis came up behind Harry to peak over his shoulder.

When Harry felt Louis touch his shoulder he flinch away. "Umm, breakfast. For lunch. I couldn't find much."

Louis eased back a little and laughed. "Yeah sorry, I don't cook. So I don't buy food."

"That's okay. I love breakfast. Any time of day."

Louis just smiled and laughed again. He went to sit at the table and let Harry finish up the cooking. After a few minutes Harry was pulling plates and silverware and setting the table. Louis just sat and watched politely.

Harry filled Louis' plate with food and then his own before setting the skillet back down on the stove. He came and sat across from Louis.

They ate in silence for a while, glancing up at each other when they thought the other wasn't looking.

The other was always looking.

"Harry?" Louis finally said.


"Are we gonna talk about last night?"

Chapter Text

"Are we gonna talk about last night?" Louis asked hesitantly.

Harry put his head down as if his eggs could hide his embarrassment. "Do we have to?"

"Well I'd like to know why I had you in my bed last night. But more importantly I'd like to know what happened to you," Louis reached across for Harry's hand. "I don't know how much you remember but you were pretty messed up. I didn't even know you partied, especially like that."

Harry pulled his hand back quickly, "I don't!" He covered his face with his hands, "I don't know what happened. I don't even like alcohol. Or clubs. Ugh!"

Louis went around to the other side and sat in the chair next to Harry. "It's okay. You don't have to be angry because you got drunk. I just need to know what caused you to be on the curb outside the club with bloodshot eyes and that lip," Louis said and pointed to the split.

"I do have to be angry!" Harry shot up out of his chair. "You don't know what happened.!"

"Then tell me."

"I choked some poor girl!"

Louis tried to keep his face as neutral as possible knowing Harry would be looking at his reaction. He took a long breath and said, "I'm sure you didn't mean to."

"How do you know? You don't even really know me!" Harry was crying now with his arms wrapped around himself.

"I know you well enough to know you'd never mean to hurt someone," Louis said calmly.

"But I did. God, her face. She was so scared! I don't even remember putting my hands on her, but then she starting pushing me and," Harry crumpled to his knees.

Louis went to him and wrapped his arms around a shaking Harry. "Love, I don't know what really went on, but it doesn't sound like it was intentional."

Harry dug his face into Louis' jumper. "I don't know why I was so...I wasn't even angry...I liked her. Thought I was gonna take her back to mine," Louis flinched, "I don't even do that, but you were," Harry cut off abruptly and buried his head further into Louis' warmth.

"But I what, love?" Louis wondered as he pet Harry's curls. Louis felt Harry shake his head against his chest. "You can tell me," he encouraged.

"Oo may e duh t," Harry mumbled into the material.

"One more time, Harry, so I can understand." Louis leaned back a fraction so Harry's mouth was free to move.

Harry sniffled and breathed out a heavy breath. "You made me do it," he whispered.

Louis scoffed softly, "And how did I do that?"

Harry balled his hands into fists and place them firm on Louis' chest. "You," hit, "were," hit, "confusing," hit, "me," hit. Harry's hits were gentle but frustrated.

"I don't understand, dear. What did I do?" Louis pulled Harry closer and pressed his lips to Harry's hair. "Whatever it is, I'll stop, okay?" he spoke into his curls.

Harry pushed back against him until they were just sitting beside each other. "That! That's what you do!" Harry flailed his hands widely.


"You! You're nice! And soft. And gentle," Harry's voice died out until it was just above a whisper, "You're not at all like your reputation."

Louis didn't know where to start. "Thank you?" and then, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." Harry was exasperated by now. Trying to get Louis to understand something Harry didn't even get.

"Ok I'm not sorry," Louis conceded. He lifted Harry's chin up to look him in the eye. "I'm not sorry for being nice. I'm not a bad guy, Harry. My reputation is crap. Ninety percent of it is shit. The other ten perfect is exaggerated."

Harry nodded minutely as not to jostle Louis' grip. Louis let his face go anyway and they sat there for a minute in silence.

"I went to the club because I wanted to forget about you."

Harry said the words so softly Louis wasn't sure he heard them. But when Louis looked at Harry he had a mix of anger and desperation on his face.

"I was going to take that girl from Capstone home and fuck her and forget about you," Harry continued, "I was going to do it sober but doing it drunk seemed to make it easier. Then some guy gave me this stuff and I felt great! I was definitely taking that girl, what's her name, home. But then..."

"What guy, Harry? You took something from someone you don't know?"

Harry nodded weakly. "He said it'd make my drink better. I thought it was like flavoring or something. It tasted like candy."

Louis shook his head and gripped Harry's arms tight. "Haz, those were drugs."

Harry sat up straight, "What?! No way! That guy was so nice. He wouldn't do that!"

"Harry. Trust me, he slipped you something. That's probably why you choked that girl. Shelia by the way, is her name. I looked it up yesterday after-" Louis cut himself off. "Anyway, that's why you were violent. Drugs can do all kinds of things to people."

"I've never been violent in my life!"

"And now we know it wasn't your fault," Louis rubbed Harry's arm in comfort. Harry seemed to accept that and they fell into silence again.

Harry couldn't stop looking at Louis, but Louis' eyes were glued to his lap.

This time Louis spoke up. "Why would you want to forget me?"

Louis was still looking at his lap, but Harry decided it would make this conversation easier anyway. "Not you, really. The things I think about you."

Chapter Text

Thoughts were flying around in Louis' mind. He didn't know what to think.

Forget? Forget what? What he thinks about me? Does he hate me so much that he wants to completely erase me from his mind?

"What do you think about me?" Louis choked out.

Harry sighed like he knew the question was coming. "Bad things."

God, I knew it! He fucking hates me. He's disgusted by me. He called me a fag. He probably hates gays and he hates me.

"I hate the things I think about you," Harry said with a pitiful look on his face.

"You hate me?" Louis questioned.

Harry looked taken aback. "What? No. I don't hate you. I wish I could hate you."

"What did I do to you?"

Harry pushed his hands to his eyes. "Everything. You've done everything to me."

Louis was about to called Harry out on his bullshit answers when his phone rang. Louis pulled it out and saw Liam's name. "Shit. We were supposed to study at Liam's tonight." Louis answered it. "Hey. I know I'm late. I'll be there soon."

Ok Tommo. Late as always. Hey, have you heard from Harry. I tried calling him but he's not answering and he's not normally late.

"Uh, no. I haven't seen him," Louis gave Harry a pointed look, "I'll give him a call, though. And I'll be there soon. Go ahead and start without us-me, without me." Louis hung up and stood up.

"We have to go," Louis proposed.

"Well, I uh, I smell like alcohol and sleep. And I don't have any clothes," Harry reminded Louis.

"Right. Well if you can shower in like two minutes you can just, uh, crap, you can borrow something from me," Louis offered.

Harry nodded and quickly went to the bathroom to clean up.

"There's extra toothbrushes in the cabinet!"


Louis went to his dresser and pulled some sweats that were too long that he always rolled up, some boxer briefs, and a t-shirt. He set them on his bed and went to find clothes for himself.

Louis stripped off his jumper and sweats and opted for a pair of black jeans. He opened his closet to look for a shirt when Harry walked into the bedroom, a towel around his waist and hair dripping.

Louis gave a slow look from wet curls to dripping shins and back up. Good boy or not, Harry's body was sin. Strong shoulders and thick pecs that led to a smooth ripple of abs down his torso. V cuts that guided Louis' eyes right to his towel. The towel that hid Louis' sure-to-be favorite part of Harry.

And he had way more tattoos than Louis originally thought. He'd never seen past the ones on his forearms, but now he saw the two birds that sat on his collarbones. The butterfly on his abdomen. When he reached Harry's eyes again he was met with green-rimmed black staring at him.

Harry gulped down the lump in his throat and walked towards the clothes on the bed. "Mine?" he said hoarsely and held up the sweats and tee.

"Yeah, uh, yeah. Lemme know if they don't fit." Louis gestured to the bathroom, "I'm going to go wash up and such." He started to walk away. "I'll knock when I come back," he said quickly and walked out of the room.

Harry took a second glance at the door before dropping his towel on the floor. He looked down and saw he was half hard from the encounter and pressed his palm down on his cock.

The fuck is wrong with you?

He thought about sad puppies and his grandma until he could slip on the underwear Louis picked out and then the sweats and top. He sat on the bed and ran the towel through his hair.

Knock, knock.

"Come in."

Louis opened the door and looked relieved that Harry was fully clothed.

He went back to his closet and grabbed the first shirt he touched, a white tee with black script that read Queen's Surf. He rolled his eyes at the irony, threw the shirt onto his bed, and grabbed another one, a blue v-neck.

Harry picked up the shirt. "Why not this one? I like it."

Louis' cheeks flushed red at that and he grabbed it back. "You don't like this one."

"I do, I swear. What's wrong with it?"

With a huff Louis hung the shirt back up and explained, "It's my favorite beach. An ex took me there on holiday once."

"So? You're going to let an ex ruin your favorite beach? I'll wear the shirt then cause I like it."

"It's a gay beach Harry!" Louis rubbed fingers over his temples and took a slow breath. "You don't like my shirt, okay?"

"Yeah, okay," Harry mumbled.

"We need to go," Louis gestured towards the door.

Harry obediently rose and shuffled out to the living room. Louis followed behind and slipped on the Vans that were sitting by the door. Harry pulled on his boots and jacket from the night before.

Once his headscarf was in place he held his arms out, "How do I look?"

Louis shook his head, "Like you didn't go home last night."

Harry's eyes widen and he blushed furiously. "Really? Is it bad?"

"Don't worry," Louis reassured him, "No one will notice."


"Louis, why is Harry wearing your pants?" Liam said by way of greeting.

Harry face palmed and turned to hide. "Shut up Liam," Louis simply said.

Louis pulled Harry to the table and they sat down across from each other. Louis got out his laptop and gave it to Harry and then retrieved his tablet for himself.

When the two settled in and looked up the other three were looking back. With looks. Looks that said 'You two totally fucked'.

"Nothing happened," Louis spouted, "I swear."

"I'm straight," Harry spoke up.

Louis gave him a sidelong glance and rolled his eyes. "We know Harry."

"Ok, then," Zayn blurted out, "I have this idea about collaborating Louis' research on hypnosis and Niall's on atmospheric music in everyday settings."

Everyone focused back on the task at hand again and Louis checked on Harry. He had a fist on the table and his eyes trained on the screen in front of him.

Louis kicked out gently and hit Harry's shin. Harry's head popped up. You okay? Louis mouthed.

Harry nodded minutely and went back to the screen.

Chapter Text

Louis had texted Harry at least half a dozen times since last night. He'd asked if he made it home okay. He'd asked when he wanted Louis to give his clothes back. He's asked if he was okay after everything.

Now Louis was laying down on his bed staring at the ceiling wondering

What the Hell am I doing?

This wasn't like Louis. He wasn't needy or clingy or obnoxious. Especially to people he hadn't even been inside of!

But he was worried. And his good conscience wouldn't let him rest unless he knew Harry was alright.

So one more time he got out his phone and tapped a message.

I don't want things to be weird. I'm sorry for whatever I did. I just need...he backspaced and then typed...would like to know that you're okay.

Louis sent it off and vowed to put his phone away for the rest of the day. Midterms were due in a week and last night they'd divided up the work and since Louis was the brains behind the idea they saw it fit to give him the brunt of the work.

He went out to the living room and grabbed the books he'd checked out from the school's library a few weeks back. He dropped them on the dining table along side his tablet and set to work.


He'd just got into the details of the brain response to higher melodic notes versus lower undertones when his bladder practically kicked him.

Louis shuffled away from his work and hurried to the bathroom. While he was there he figured he might as well shower since he hadn't yet today.

He let the water run over him and release all the pent up energy he'd been using to focus on Midterms instead of a certain someone.

Louis turned the water off and went to find something comfy to slip into to continue his research.

He was sitting on his bed putting thick socks on when his phone vibrated. Louis turned and reached for it before he stopped, remembering he said today was a phone free day.

But what if it was his mom? Or one of his sisters? Or Liam asking about the project?

Louis picked up his phone and unlocked it, opening up his messages. What he saw took him a minute to process.

Twenty-one missed texts. All from Harry. He scrolled down to start at the beginning.

I can't talk to you Louis.

You didn't do anything wrong.

Please don't think you did something.

I'll get my clothes back whenever. It's not a big deal. I still have yours too so we'll trade in class or something.

There was a long span of time until the next message.

Can't stop thinking.

...About you.

Shit. I didn't mean. I don't know.

How are you?

Ignore me.

Then another shorter expanse.

Took that ignore me thing seriously, then?

Well good. Then I can just say what I need to say and you won't interrupt.

I don't know what to think about you. You are something I've never had to deal with. God, you make me so angry. Sometimes I just wanna rip your head off. Sometimes i just

wanna pressed your head to my chest and make sure you're okay. Is that weird?

That's definitely weird. Shit.

Umm, I don't know what to say now. I wish I could delete those last few texts from your phone.

But I can't. So...can I come over?

He'd obviously waited for an answer.

You can say no. That's fine.

Louis? I just need an answer.

Now is not the time to ignore me. Forget what I said, answer me.

Okay, then. Thanks anyway Lou.

Louis just stared at the screen. What hell was he supposed to do now? Did Harry still want to come over. Was that smart? Louis looked like a mess. Who cares? He's just a mate, Louis reconfirmed.

Just a mate. Louis repeated that until he opened their conversation and typed.

Sorry. I was working on Midterms. Spaced out. Yeah you can come over. Louis paused and looked at that last sentence a few times before continuing. Bring my clothes and we'll trade back. See you soon. :)

He sent it before he could think to take the smiley face off. Not even a minute later he got a reply.

Great. Be there soon.

Louis went to bathroom and brushed his teeth again and reapplied deodorant. He brushed his half-dry hair out and tried to make it look like a half-way decent hairstyle.

He went to the kitchen and put the kettle on. He grabbed a couple of mugs and tea bags. Louis tried to distract himself until the water was ready by wiping counters and sweeping the floor. He focused on the dust he was collecting instead of the thoughts he was thinking.

Louis was so focused on his dustpan that he squealed when the kettle went off. A second later there was a knock at the door.

Chapter Text

Louis turned off the stove and ran to answer the door. It swept open revealing a disheveled-looking Harry on the other side. His hair was sticking up where it looked like he'd ran his fingers through it. His eyes were wild and his cheeks flushed. If Louis didn't know better he'd thought he was turned on.

Harry surged forward and grabbed Louis' biceps in his hands. "Please forgive me," and with that he smashed his lips on Louis' with such a force that, if Harry didn't have a firm hold, Louis would've fallen backwards.

At first, Louis was too shocked to react, but when Harry pushed Louis' lips apart and kissed him deeper Louis pushed back.

Harry let his hands slide down Louis' arms to his waist where he gripped tight. With his new freedom, Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders and dug his fingers into Harry's soft curls.

They molded their lips together again and again until Louis couldn't breathe and had to pull back with a gasp. Harry wasn't having it though and captured Louis' mouth again.

This time Harry brushed his tongue over Louis bottom lip, just barely tasting him. When Louis didn't get the hint Harry pushed a bit harder. Louis made a sound of surprise and opened his mouth to Harry. The curly-headed boy took the opportunity to run his tongue over the curve of Louis' teeth, then across the roof of his mouth, and finally, slowly, over the swell of Louis' tongue.

Louis moaned weakly into Harry's mouth and grasped at the hair in this hand. Harry groaned at the sensation and pushed Louis back against the wall next to the door. He cupped the back of Louis head so he wouldn't hit it and then scratched at his scalp. Louis pressed into Harry's hand and leaned his head back, breaking the kiss.

"Get a room!"

Both boys heads jerked to see where the comment came from and realized they'd left the front door open. Louis' neighbor was passing by with his dog and smiled slyly at the pair.

"Sod off!" Louis yelled back and flipped the guy his middle finger.

The neighbor laughed it off and kept walking. Louis broke out of Harry's hold and shut the door. When he turned back Harry was still breathing hard and his eyes were black as night.

Louis was taken aback by the intensity of him. "I've got tea on the stove," Louis pointed a thumb towards the kitchen, "if you want some."

Harry blinked hard for a moment and then nodded dumbly. Louis walked by Harry, chests inches apart, and into the kitchen.

He walked to the stove and wrapped a pot holder around the hot handle. He brought it to the cups next to stove and poured hot water into the waiting mugs. The water quickly turned from clear to brown and began to seep up the tea.

Louis had just put the kettle back on the stove when he felt a body press against his back. Harry wrapped one arm around his waist and used the other to lean Louis' head to the side, exposing his neck.

"Your skin is so beautiful," Harry complimented in a deep, rough tone.

Before Louis could process a sincere thank you Harry was pressing hot kisses to the skin that ran from his ear to his shoulder.

Harry kissed every centimeter of skin there and then starting biting softly. Every bite was like sparks that Harry was using to light a fire inside of him. With every contact of teeth on sensitive skin Louis was getting hotter and hotter.

By the time Harry got the spot right under Louis' ear and latched his mouth onto it, Louis was whining high in his throat. Harry's mouth was relentless, though. He bit and sucked and kissed until he felt the skin get hot and soft underneath his lips.

When he finally pulled back and blew a soft breathe over the wet area, causing Louis to tremble, the spot was already turning purple.

Harry moved his hand down from Louis' neck to the front of his jeans and felt Louis' semi through his pants.

"Can I touch you?" Harry rasped out.

Louis nodded frantically and Harry slid a hands under the waistband of Louis' sweats. He ran two fingers across louis' bulge over his underwear, just hard enough to be present and not near enough to please.

Harry was breathing deeply and evenly and with purpose as if he was keeping time with his breaths.

After a few minutes of light touches Harry slipped his fingers under Louis' boxers and pulled his cock out into his loose pants.

They both groaned at the same time. "Fuck," Harry whispered and dropped his head to Louis' shoulder. Louis let his own head fall back onto Harry. "I've never, I mean, my own, but I've never," Harry trailed off.

Louis waited patiently for Harry to move his hand but he didn't. "Harry? Please," Louis begged just loud enough to be heard.

"Just gimme a second." Harry kissed Louis' shoulder and nuzzled into his neck. "You feel soft. You're so hard, but you're skin is soft. I'd never thought," Harry stopped and breathed out, "You feel so good."

Louis moaned at that and couldn't help but buck his hips forward just a little into Harry's fist. Harry seems startled by the movement but recovered quickly and slowly dragged his hand up Louis shaft until he reached the head and then moved his hand to the base again.

Louis' body was burning with the feeling of 'not enough' and 'so good'. He turned his head to pressed against Harry's on his shoulder.

"Please, Haz, more," Louis choked.

Harry's nodded minutely into Louis' hair and moved his hand up again, but this time with purpose. He pumped Louis a few times before swiping at the precome on his tip, using it to make his hand glide more smoothly.

He gained a rhythm, running his hand up and down Louis' cock, twisting his wrist when he reached the head.

Louis had brought a hand behind him to grasp at Harry's hair and was clenching his fingers every time Harry touched his leaking tip.

Then Harry slowed down his movements and pumped Louis tightly but leisurely. Now every time he reached the tip he pushed his thumb into Louis' slit.

Louis was moaning and gripping Harry's hair, fighting to keep his body still. But Louis' noises only spurred Harry on. He picked up speed again and pumped Louis quickly.

"Fuck, Lou, you have no idea," Harry broke off, "No fucking clue what you make me think."

"Tell me," Louis gasped between a moan.

Harry's hand stalled for just a second before starting up again, quicker now. Louis' chest was heaving and his legs were shaking but Harry had a firm hold on his waist, pressing them together.

"God, I wanna feel you. Every inch of you. You're smooth arms and your curvy waist and your, fuck, your ass Lou. I want to feel it between my fingers."

"Then do it." Harry didn't hesitate before moving his hand from Louis' waist to his back. He stopped there and toyed with the hem of Louis' pants. "Touch me, please."

Harry reached under Louis underwear and felt the curve of his ass underneath his palm. He groaned at the feeling and squeezed the flesh softly.

With Harry's hand pulling on Louis' dick and his other squeezing tightly on his ass it wasn't long before Louis' body tensed under Harry. He came into Harry's hand and his sweats.

Harry's jerked him through his orgasm before pulling his hand out and wiping it on Louis' pants.

They stay like that, breathing heavily, until Louis heard Harry sob behind him.

Louis turned to face him and saw tears staining Harry's cheeks. Louis reached up to wipe them away but Harry flinched and backed away.

"I, I can't," Harry managed between sobs.

"Harry, it's okay."

"It's not okay! I'm not gay, Louis!" Harry yelled, "You want me to be but I'm not!"

"Are you kidding?" Louis was dumbfounded. "One, if you're not gay then I'm not gay," Harry's looked put off by that, "Two, I don't want you to be gay if you're not! I'd never make someone do that!"

"I wanted to please you," Harry sounded so unsure of himself that Louis felt like he needed to cuddle him.

"You did. God, you were amazing, Harry."

Harrys face was a mix of pride and shame. "I'm not. I'm not."

"Not what?"

"Not amazing. Not gay. I'm not gay!"

Louis put his hands up in surrender. "Ok, fine, not gay. Got it," the words were meant to be appeasing but Louis' voice was harsh and hurt.

"I'm so sorry I did that. I just, shit, I have to go." Harry retreated from the kitchen so quickly Louis was multiple steps behind him before he started moving.

Harry was pulling his keys from his pocket and had a hand on the door when Louis joined him. Harry looked ready to leave but was frozen with his fingers wrapped around the handle.

Louis was silent but watching closely so he noticed when Harry breathed out an almost silent 'Fuck' and turned back to him.

He pushed his lips into Louis' hard for a couple seconds before whispering against them, "Not gay," and then walking out the door, leaving Louis confused and alone.

Chapter Text

Hey lads! All night cram session to finish our Midterms! Zayn offered up his place since his roommate will be out and always keeps the frig stocked. I'll send directions. See you tomorrow at 4!

Harry read the text again. Three days ago Harry had made the biggest mistake of his life. He'd let the boy control him and make his do things he didn't want to do. At least that's what he'd been telling himself every chance he got.

Since, he'd been ignoring all contact with the outside world. He slept, ate, worked, and that's all. He even skipped class yesterday, feigning sickness.

Louis had texted him a couple times asking if he was okay. Telling him that he'd forgotten his clothes.

When Harry read that one he looked down at Louis' shirt that he was wearing. Disgusted, he tore it off and threw it across the room.

Harry belatedly ignore all Louis' texts. Even thought about blocking his number, but couldn't bring himself to do it. I'll need it for school, he said.

He thought about skipping tomorrow. Coming up with some lame excuse (my grandma is sick, chest pains, a friend needs help moving) but Midterms were two days away and he had to pass this class.

Tomorrow was going to be difficult.


Louis pulled up to the curb outside of Zayn's house and saw through the window that the boys were in the dining room with snacks and books out and ready. He saw everyone's cars except Harry's. Hopefully he wouldn't show up.

Louis had been seething for days over what happened. Harry begged to come over, made him come harder than he had in a very long time, and then blamed him for it and left him.

He tried not to hate Harry for it, he knew the boy was having a lot of confusing thoughts. The poor kid was only twenty. He'd been there at one point. But he was tired of Harry's moods swings.

Louis got out and walked up the pathway. He rang the door bell and heard a distant Come In that sounded like Zayn.

He tried the door and found it unlocked. The inside of Zayn's house was quite the opposite of what Louis expected.

As quiet and serious as Zayn seemed to be, Louis expected dark colors and minimal furniture. Instead he was greeted with cartoon figures spray painted on canvases and hung on the walls. There was a bright white couch with fluffy, colorful pillows.

"We're in here," he heard Niall call.

The boys were setting everything up and chatting happily.

"Ugh, I am so not ready for this," Louis complained.

"Are you kidding? We'll be fine. Our theory is great. Our research is solid," Liam encouraged.

"I didn't mean our project," Louis mumbled.

Zayn and Niall were play fighting and too busy being idiots to notice, but Liam gave Louis a look. Liam always knew. Every time Louis was upset Liam could tell.

Liam pulled Louis into the connected hallway that led to the back of the house. "What was that about?"

Louis waved a hand. "Nothing. I don't know I'm a mood, I guess."

Liam gave him the look again. "Tommo. Seriously. You're a terrible liar, despite your reputation."

They just stared at each until Louis finally broke and said, "Harry gave me a handjob and now he won't talk to me."

Liam's face broke into a grin. "I knew he was gay. I mean for a minute I thought he was straight, but Tommo, the way he looks at you. It's like he wants to tackle you and eat your face."

"Well he did. Basically," Louis scoffed.

Liam slapped his on the arm, "See! I knew you two were just dying for it."

Louis shook his head, "You weren't listening. He hasn't talked to me since. He yelled at my and blamed me for making him do it and then he ran out."

"Oh, well shit," Liam fumbled.

"Well shit?" Louis questioned, "Gee, Wise words."

"Shut up. I don't know what to tell you here. We aren't the relationship types. We've never been through this. And Zayn wasn't like that," Liam smirked, "He knows he's gay."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Don't want to hear about your far superior sex life." Then Louis leaned in, "But honestly I swear he's got experience. There's no way," Louis smiled to himself, "He's got these fingers like-"

"Okay! Don't care!" Liam walked away from Louis, back into the kitchen, and Louis followed.

When he entered he saw Harry, with Louis' clothes, standing at the table talking to Zayn. Niall was in the kitchen, trying to reach something on a top shelf.

Liam watched Louis' reaction and gave him a sympathy shrug. Then he walked up to Zayn, leaned in and whispered something into Zayn's ear (to which the dark-haired boy smirked at), and they went into the kitchen leaving Louis and Harry alone in the dining room.

They looked around the room awkwardly until Harry said, "I'm sorry."

"Yeah I've heard," Louis said harshly.

Harry flinched at Louis' harsh words. He put Louis' clothes down on the table. "I know I've been saying that a lot. But I am."

"For what?"

Harry looked surprised by the question. "You, you know what."

"I do. But I want to here you say it. If you're going to regret something I want you be able to admit that you regret it."

Harry took a long breath. "I, I'm sorry for-"

"Don't be sorry for anything you've done with me. Because I'm not sorry for it. Only tell me what you regret."

Louis was being hard on Harry and he knew it. But he was hurt and tired of the bullshit.

"Okay," Harry contemplated his next words, "I regret....First, I regret calling you a-the 'f' word. I really regret that."

"Thank you."

Harry nodded and kept going. "I regret, um, making you worry. For calling you, drunk, and for making you take care of me."

"I didn't mind, Harry. I didn't hate taking care of you. Which is weird for me."

Harry just kept going like Louis hadn't said anything. "I regret," he stopped and stepped closer to Louis to whisper, "I regret all of the terrible thing I think about you when I'm alone."

Louis nodded this time. "Well it's good know to feel bad about being an asshole at least."

Harry just agreed silently, his eyes downcast and lip pulled between his teeth. He looked like he might cry and Louis started to feel bad.

"I didn't mean, I'm sorry. That was rude. You're not an asshole. You're just extremely frustrating."

"I am an asshole. If you knew the bad things I thought about you, you would call me much worse."

"What could be so bad, Harry. Because to be honest you seem like the kind of guy that thinks it's wrong to litter."

"It's is-nevermind. I can't say them out loud anyway."

"You won't tell me?" Harry didn't answer just looked at Louis with begging eyes. "Fine. Okay. Are you finished listing the things you regret? We really need to get to work."

Harry kept his mouth shut and just left Louis standing alone, once again, to join the others in the kitchen. Louis heard awkward greetings and shuffling, guaranteeing that they'd been listening in.

Louis was still angry and hurt. But he smiled because what they did together hadn't made the list of things Harry regretted.

Chapter Text

They'd been at it a while. A few hours at least. But they were no where near done. Everyone was determined but tired. Louis was losing his ability to focus and his mind started to wander.

He thought about finishing school. What job opportunities he had lined up. His family back home and how much he missed them. I should really give mum a call. But sooner, rather than later, his thoughts came back to the one person he'd been internally obsessed with lately.

He tested a glance over in Harry's direction and found him staring unabashed back at him. Louis tried for a small smile, but he was pretty sure it looked more painful than pleasurable.

Harry smiled back anyway, a small one, but still. Then Harry picked up his phone and looked away from him, so Louis gave up on trying to connect with him and looked back to his work.

Liam piped up with a question for Louis and he was in the middle of answering it when he felt his phone buzz. Liam got the answer he needed and went back to writing.

Louis plucked his phone from the tight back pocket of his jeans and opened the new message.

You really want to know the things I think about you?

He looked at Harry, but Harry was staring, hard, at his phone.

Louis quickly typed Yes and sent it off.

Harry's phone must've been on silent because he didn't hear anything but he saw Harry tense a little and he figured he got the message. Louis clicked his own phone to silent and waited.

I'll start off with the stuff that's not so bad, okay?

Louis rolled his eyes at the message. Seemed just like Harry to try and ease Louis into the sexist or slanderous insults he'd come up with.

Yeah, sure.

Louis got a message almost instantly.

I want to kiss you again.

Louis sucked in a quiet breath when he read it. I hate your hair was more along the lines of what he was expecting.

He wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say to that. So he just sent back Okay and waited again.

I like the way your mouth tastes. Like sweet fruit and citrus mints.

Louis bit his lip to keep from grinning. Before Louis could type a reply another message popped up.

I love the way your skin feel against my lips.

And another. I love the way it tastes.

Louis sent a short More.

I can't.


There was a pause and Louis was sure Harry was going to clam up like he always did and get angry. But then another text came through.

I loved the feeling of your cock in my hand.

Louis restrained the groan in his throat and closed his eyes tight. He would not get hard sitting at a table with his mates. When he opened his eyes he had three new messages.

I loved how you felt when you were hard.

I loved knowing that you were hard because of me.

I want to feel you again.

Louis' jeans were definitely getting tighter now. He dropped a hand below the table and pressed against his growing bulge. He let his head drop minutely in pleasure before gathering himself and texting Harry back.

I want to know what you feel like too.

He looked over to Harry and waited for him to get the message. He knew the exact moment he read it because Harry squeezed his eyes shut and took a long drag of air in and out.

Louis smiled internally knowing Harry wasn't any better off than he was right now.

I've never done this before,

Harry sent.

Louis softened at the words.

Neither have I, really. I mean I've done this, but not like this. Louis sent it even though he wasn't sure it made sense.

You mean around other people?

Well yes, but no, I meant without the direct intention of fucking you.

Harry's eyes went wide at that and Louis let out a whispered giggle.

Liam looked up and saw Louis trying to keep himself quiet. He looked over to Harry and saw a bewildered look on his face. He elbowed Zayn next to him and nodded to the pair that were sitting on opposite ends of the table.

Zayn raised an eyebrow and smiled to Liam. They shared a quick kiss and Zayn went back to the project.

Liam nudged Niall under the table with his foot causing him to look back at him. Liam directed his attention to the two that were still staring at their phones. Niall grinned wide but quickly ducked his head back into his textbook so he wouldn't be noticed.

Harry had been trying to type an intelligent response to Louis' last text but he just kept erasing and finally chose Fuck, Louis to send.

Louis' eyes shone when he read that. He'd finally made Harry speechless. He was glowing in triumph when Harry sent another text.

I wonder if you'd let me taste you, too. I love the way your mouth and neck taste. I bet your cock tastes even better.

Louis did groan at that, but covered it with a cough. Within seconds Harry had sent another.

I've never done that before either, but I would try. I bet it feels really good. You're dick heavy on my tongue.

I want to lick the vein underneath your cock. I want to slip my tongue into your leaking slit.

I wonder what your come tastes like.

I'd swallow.

Louis stood up quickly and shouted, "I have to pee," before rushing off to the bathroom with his phone still gripped tight in his fingers.

He went down the hallway, thankful it wasn't too large of a house and the bathroom door was open, because he realized he didn't know where it was.

Louis closed the door quickly and leaned against it. He'd just unbuttoned his jeans when another message popped up.

Louis glance down and saw Harry's name.

Don't touch yourself. I want to.

Louis made a needy sound in the back of his throat and put his hands on the wall so he wouldn't move. After a few seconds of deep breathing he sent back.

Can't. The boys.

The reply was instant.

I don't care. I want to touch you. God, Louis, I'm so hard.

Louis whimpered at that and gripped his phone tighter. He was so thankful no one was in here to hear him make such embarrassing sounds.

He didn't even have his dick out and he was already pleading.

Chapter Text

Louis heard a knock on the door and then Harry's raspy voice, "Lou, please."

Louis cracked the door open just enough to pull Harry inside and then shut it again.

Harry pushed him against it and latched his lips to the skin covering Louis' jugular.

Louis wound his fingers into Harry's hair and asked, "What'd you tell the boys?"

"That you were hard and waiting for me in the bathroom," Harry quipped. Louis pulled on Harry's hair in warning. "No. I said I was coming to check on you. But they're not idiots Louis," Harry's moved his mouth to Louis' ear, "They know I came in here to make you come." Harry punctuated the statement by squeezing Louis through his jeans.

Louis pressed into the pressure. "Harry," Louis breathed.

Harry seemed to understand the request and unzipped Louis pants and pulled them down around his ankles. He made quick work of his underwear too.

Louis kicked off his Vans. He pulled Harry in for a kiss while he kicked his clothes off to the side as well. He sucked Harry's bottom lip into his mouth and bit down softly. Apparently the sensation was enough to make Harry push Louis back against door again and squeeze his fingers tight on his hip.

They were touching from chest to cock and Harry could feel Louis between them, hard and needy.

Harry was just about to reach between them when Louis said, "I want to touch you too."

Harry froze at the request, but Louis' hands were fast and already undoing his belt and jeans. Before Harry could process it, Louis had his jeans around his ankles and was palming Harry through his boxers.

Harry immediately leaned into the touch and then pulled down the last layer of clothing that covered his lower half. He toed off his shoes and then pushed his clothes somewhere soon forgotten.

Louis looked down between them and smiled. Harry blushed at the evaluation but said nothing. He realized he hadn't seen Louis either yet and looked down too. He saw that Louis was hard and his tip was white with precome and he really wanted to touch him.

Louis had other plans though. He pushed Harry's against the counter. Harry felt Louis hands underneath his thighs and then he was being lifted up to sit of the cold countertop, right on the edge.

Louis grabbed both of them in his tiny hand and tried his best to smoothly run his hand up and down their shafts. Harry felt his little fingers on him and wanted to lean back and enjoy this, but he knew that no matter how good it felt, Louis couldn't hold them both and get them off with how small his hand was.

So Harry knocked Louis' hand away and replaced it with his own. His large palm covered most of his own while his long fingers wrapped around Louis.

He brought his hand up to the heads and swiped across, gathering the precome from both of them, and ran his hand back down. He felt the white substances mix together under his fingers and he closed his eyes at the thought that they were so close in so many ways right now.

He pumped them both in his large hand while he put a finger to the still visible purple bruise under Louis' ear he'd given him last time they were together. "Mine," Harry whispered, almost to himself.

Then he ran his hand over Louis' chest, under his shirt. Louis shivered when Harry thumbed over his nipple.

Louis seized Harry by the neck with both hands and pulled him into a long, desperate kiss. Louis didn't hesitate to push his tongue into Harry's mouth and start exploring.

Louis let his tongue sweep back and forth across Harry's before bringing it into his mouth and sucking on it.

Harry whimpered and Louis pushed into Harry's hand. Harry seemed to appreciate the need Louis was displaying because he pinched Louis' nipple between his fingers and moved his hand faster on them both.

Louis was thrusting into Harry's hand desperately now. Louis ran a hand down his chest and scratched when he reached his nipple.

Harry released a long moan into Louis' mouth and Louis smirked, pleased. He went back to rub over the now very sensitive bud. Harry arched into the touch, but made a soft whimpering sound too.

Louis broke the kiss and breathed between Harry's lips, "Tell me if it's too much."

Harry locked eyes and said, "It was too much back at the table, but if you stop now I swear I'll hit you."

Louis laughed at that and ran a hand down Harry's body. He felt his abs clench when his fingers played over the muscles. He kept moving to Harry's thigh.

He squeezed the flesh there, pressing his fingers in small circles while Harry twisted his wrist and caught a finger on Louis' crown.

He dug his blunt nails into Harry's thigh and surged forward to attach his lips to Harry's neck.

Harry was pulling and teasing Louis red, puffy nipples over and over. Louis' head was swimming so his kisses on Harry's neck were more like sloppy pecks.

Louis reached a hand down between them and cupped Harry's balls in his hand. He felt the soft skin crinkle and move under his touch. Louis pulled on them gently and felt them pull in tighter to Harry's body.

That and Harry's grip on their cocks told Louis he was close. Louis kept running his fingers back and forth, messaging Harry.

Harry went from rubbing Louis' chest to scratching at it. Louis felt the short red lines Harry was leaving and couldn't make his thoughts mean anything.

Louis was hot and murmuring nothing against Harry's neck. Harry reached his thumb over and pressed it hard on Louis' tip while he pressed his pointer finger right under the sensitive head.

Louis came with a muffled cry all over Harry's hand and cock. Louis squeezed Harry's balls in his hand as a reflex, but it made Harry gasp and come, white landing on both their cocks, Louis' leg, and his own hand.

Harry's hand that was covered in their come was shaking. Louis took it in his hand and brought it to his mouth where he started to lick up the mix of them both.

"Fuck," Harry whispered in awe.

Louis smiled adoringly at him and sucked a finger into his mouth. Harry felt the warmth surround his finger and his mouth fell open slightly at the picture of Louis' bitten-pink lips sucking on his digit.

When Louis got all the come off Harry's hand he grabbed some toilet paper and wiped the rest of it off of them. They both took time lifting their heavy limbs to put their clothes back on.

When they were both dressed Harry leaned into Louis and said, "I don't want to run away again. But we have to talk about this because I'm so scared."

Louis reached up to rub Harry's cheek. "Of course. We can talk about whatever you want."

Harry nodded lazily and led them back to the table. They both sat back down and tried to ignore the blatant stares from the other three.

"You guys reek of sex, you know," Niall gracefully put out there.

Harry covered his face in his hands and Louis just looked on adoringly.

Chapter Text

"As you can see, the subject was effected, greatly, by music they were familiar with. They were even convinced to complete tasks outside of their comfort zone, in part greatly to the environment set by music," Louis concluded for the team.

The boys all smiled and Louis even bowed to everyone's polite applause.

"Very good. Thank you, gentlemen," Lindon called from his desk. "Have a seat."

With that weight off their shoulders, the five of them walked happily back to their chairs.

The next group was called up and started their presentation. Louis placed the USB drive back into his jeans and sat back in his chair.

Harry came and sat in the chair next to him. Once the group got into their topic Harry leaned over and whispered in Louis' ear, "Great job. You were brilliant."

Louis beamed at the compliment. Thanks, he mouthed back.

Harry's seamed pleased and leaned back to his own space.

Only a few minutes later Louis felt his pocket buzz. After sending a thank you to God for remembering to put his phone on vibrate, Louis checked to see who it was.

Come over to mine tonight and we'll celebrate...and talk about yesterday.

Louis was excited to finally get Harry talking about whatever made him so angry.

Yeah sure.

Louis thought about it and then sent another.

Actually let's just go after class. So I don't have to drive all the way home first.

Harry replied, Yeah. Sure, sounds good.

They rest of the class went by like fucking molasses to say the least.


Harry and Louis said goodbye to the boys and headed out to the parking lot.

"I'm glad you invited me over."

Harry quickly put a hand up, "Its fine Louis. Let's just not talk about it."

Louis wanted to ask why the hell not, but Harry's eyes were scared. "Yeah, okay."

They walked to their cars silently. They were parked a couple rows apart so they separated and went to heir own vehicles.

Louis was huffing under his breath while he got in.

He followed Harry back to his place and was glad to finally see Harry's apartment.

It was nice. Like really nice. Louis had seen Harry's car around and figured he was at least financially stable, but when Louis walked into Harry's three bedroom, posh place he gaped at it.

"Shit, Harry," Louis said looking around. There were sharp black couches on either side of a dark brick fire place. A large painting of a log cabin sat over the mantle. To the left was an open kitchen with a large island. Although it was spotless and sparkling it looked like Harry actually used it. To the right was a short hallway that led to three closed doors. Louis assume it was bedrooms and a bath, maybe. And past the kitchen and small dining area was a single door that Louis figured to be Harry's room.

Harry scratched the back of his neck, "Oh, uh, yeah. Welcome."

"Welcome? That's all you've got for me?"

"Louis, please, don't." Harry had dropped his bag on the floor by the island and went into the kitchen.

Louis rolled his eyes and joined him, dropping his bag by Harry's.

"Cuppa?" Harry asked.

"Always," Louis answered immediately.

They mulled around for a bit making small talk until the tea was ready. Harry made up a tray of expensive looking china, complete with sugar and creams dishes and took it out to the glass coffee table.

Harry sat down on one of the couches and Louis had the decision to either sit next to him or to sit across from him. But when Harry looked up and smiled that dimpled smile at Louis he walked straight to him and sat down by his side.

Harry poured them both a cup and fixed his own to his liking. "How do you take yours?"

"Straight, please." Harry pressed his lips together to keep from laughing and Louis rolled his eyes. "Ha ha. Very funny."

Harry handed Louis his cup of tea and they settled into the soft leather. "Speaking of," Harry started hesitantly, "I know I've been very vague about my, um, orientation."

"Not you, Styles, only your words. You have made it very clear what you're into."

Harry kept his eyes glued to the liquid in his hands and said, "You don't have to be so brash about it."

Louis sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm just not used to having to question myself when it come to sex or my feelings."

"And I..."

"You make me question every fucking move I make. You're forward and sexy one moment and then you're spiteful and withdrawn the next." Louis took a big gulp of tea and set it down so he wouldn't spill it while he talked.

Harry looked back at Louis silently for a minute. Then he set his tea down and moved closer so their legs were touching. He inched forward so their lips were inches apart.

Louis went to move but Harry stopped him with, "Don't move." They sat like that for at least a couple more minutes. Harry looking at every inch of Louis' face and Louis looking directly at Harry's green eyes.

"May I ask what we're doing?" Louis whispered.

Harry's lips curved up and his eyes twinkled. "I'm trying to find a flaw."

Louis eyebrows furrowed and he stuck a lip out. "I don't like this game."

Harry giggled. Yes giggled. Louis tried not to burst. "Don't worry. You're definitely winning. I can't find a single one."

Louis laughed at that. "I can help you if you want."

"No need. I'm pretty sure I'm right."

Harry backed away and Louis breathed out in relief and ached a little for him to come back.

"Why were we playing that particular game?"

Harry pick up his tea and sipped some more down. He took his time placing it back down before looking back to Louis. "Wasn't really a game. I was trying to find a reason not to go through with this."

Louis swallowed the lump in his throat. "With what?"

Harry looked at Louis with soft eyes. "Us."

Louis nodded like he wasn't praying for that exact answer. "Oh," was all that came out. Harry only nodded so Louis added, "Did you find any?"


"Reasons not to do this."

Harry's face fell. "Tons." Louis visible saddened at that. He bit his lip to keep from saying something harsh, but then Harry said, "But none of them are because of you."

Louis tried not to smile because Harry was still upset by something, but he was so glad it wasn't his fault.

Louis scooted over so they were touching again and Harry relaxed against him. "What are the reasons, then?"

Harry shook his head and said, "It's a lot and I don't want to have to tell you if I'm not going to start something with you."

Louis put an arm around his waist and rubbed circles into his hip. "Okay. How about this? Can I just ask you questions and you don't have to answer them unless you want to."

Where was all of this need to comfort Harry coming from? The only people he'd cared for in his entire life was his sisters. He'd never had to care for a non-relative before, but he couldn't help his need to be sure Harry was alright.

Harry agreed and laid his head down on Louis' shoulder. He was tired already and they hadn't even started yet.

"I know you said you'd never," Louis gestured his hands in the general area of his crotch, "before." Harry nodded against his shoulder so Louis continued, "So just make sure, you'd never given a handjob before me?"

Harry nodded again.

"Had you ever kissed a guy before me?" Harry shook his head against Louis' shoulder. "I don't mean to be pushy, but I'd really like verbal answers. Just so I'm sure."

"No I hadn't," Harry rasped out.

Louis nodded once. He tried not to show how pleased he was at being the first man to touch those thick, pink lips.

"Had you ever seen someone else..." Louis trailed off. He was usually so eloquent, even when he talked about sex, but he didn't want to make Harry feel uncomfortable.

"You can say it Lou. Had I ever seen someone else's dick before you? The answer is not hard. I mean I took gym in school and such, but no I've never seen someone else hard before."

Louis wanted to ask so badly what he thought about it. Not even because he was conceited or needed approval, but because he wanted to know the thoughts inside a person-like-Harry's mind when he had all of these firsts.

"And, um, what did, uh, how are-"

Harry sat up and looked Louis straight in the eye. "If you're gonna do this you're going to have to just ask me. If I don't want to answer it I won't. But I want you to ask."

Louis pulled Harry close again. "How was it? All of those firsts?"

Harry laughed. He wasn't expecting that question. "It was," Harry sighed into Louis neck, "amazing. You were, are, amazing."

Louis was beaming but luckily Harry couldn't see. He hid his face in his curls anyway, mostly just so he could inhale the scent of Harry's shampoo. Turns out it's fresh and citrusy. He can't say he's not in love with it.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"Uh uh."

Louis skipped over the question he really wanted to ask and opted for, "How old are you?"

"Twenty. Why?"

"Just trying to keep my conscience clear. Now I know I can't take you to bars. Our dates are narrowed to Chuck E Cheese and the park."

Harry laughed but quickly sobered and said, "One. I'm not a child. Two. We can't go on dates."

Louis didn't like where this was heading. "Why not?"

"I can't. We-Can you ask a different question?" Harry snuggled back up to him.

Louis tried to ignore the feeling like he was being treated unfairly and asked, "Can we do this, what we're doing now?"

"In private, yeah."

"Not in public?"

"Um, no."

Louis mulled that over and tried to put this as gently as he could. "Harry, darling, have you come out yet?"

Chapter Text

"I'm not gay."

Louis pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to pull out from under Harry, but Harry burrowed in closer and buried his face in Louis' shirt.

"Please don't go," Harry begged softly.

"I just don't understand. Harry, I'm trying to be kind about this, but you given my two handjobs so far. And loved it. You've panted for me, moaned for me. I've felt your hands on my ass. You, my dear, like men."

Harry had gotten more and more tense as Louis went on and now Harry with gripping Louis' shirt in his fingers. "I can't be gay, Louis."

"Why not? Is it religious? Are you scared? Afraid your family won't approved of me? I get all of that. But you can't change who you are Harry." Louis tried to stress the importance of what he was saying by pulling Harry in closer to him.

"I'm not ashamed, I promise."

"Could've fooled me, sweetheart."

Harry shook his head again while he defended himself. "I'm not ashamed that I like you. I'm not ashamed I like the way your cock feels in my hand. Trust me. I'm not."

"Then I don't get it, Harry. What's with the gay-bashing, and the denial, and the running away?"

"I don't have a choice."

Louis didn't know why but he all of sudden hated whoever, or whatever, was giving Harry no choice. He wanted to beat them for making this sweet boy afraid to be himself.

"Why not?" Harry just shook his head again and ran a hand down Louis' chest. "Tell me, love. Please."

"I don't want you to hate them."

Louis kept a tight grip of Harry's waist and ran his other hand through Harry's curls. "I just want to understand."

Harry was silent for a while. Just when Louis thought he wasn't going to get anything Harry said, "I have nothing."

"I don't-"

"This apartment. My car. My clothes. My laptop. My schooling. Everything. It's not mine. My parents pay for everything."

"Okay," Louis encouraged.

"Please don't judge me, okay?"

"I wouldn't."

Harry took a long breath to prepare.

"I've known I wa-that I liked men for a while. I had a crush on this boy in sixth grade and I tried to kiss him by his locker once. He freaked and punched me, which to be fair, I might've deserved. He ran and told a teacher, who told the principal, who told my parents. My very wealthy, very influential parents. My dad own a big company and is on the board for tons of other businesses. My mom is a rep in the house. They're...watched a lot. When they picked me up that day and sat me down to talk, and I told them that I didn't like girls like I liked boys, they weren't happy. They talked about how they had a reputation to uphold. That mom was never going to get re-elected, much less moved on to the senator, with a gay son."

Louis gripped Harry's waist hard enough to bruise.

Harry kept going, "They aren't bad people. They were scared. They live in a certain society and didn't know any other way." Harry rubbed patterns in Louis' arm, trying to calm him. "That day they told me that I couldn't be gay. That if I loved them I would change for them. I did love them, do love them, so I told them I'd change. I stopped looking at boys. I would pinch myself every time I thought about one. As I grew up I punished myself in other ways."

Louis lifted Harry's chin to look at him with a worried expression. Harry pulled out of his grip and hid face back in Louis' neck.

"I started cutting myself when I thought about boys."

Louis gasped quietly at the thought of Harry alone in his room with a blade punishing himself for something he couldn't control.

"I never told my parents, but I'm pretty sure they knew. Then, when I was about seventeen, I met someone. He was rather the opposite of me. Loud, colorful, and free. He went to the public school but we went to the same after school study program. We got close really quickly and I found out that he liked me. That night I went home and took the blade to my thighs, because I wanted be his boyfriend so bad but I couldn't. Eventually he found out what I was doing to myself and flipped. Not angry just really scared for me. I told him what was going on and he worked with me. It took months but eventually I stopped. I came to terms with who I was. He made me see that if my parents loved me they wouldn't make me change. I know my parents love me. I still just don't think they understand."

Louis had to fight not to interrupt there and tell him that his parents are hypocritical, narcissistic pricks.

"I went to my parents and told them that I knew who I was and I wasn't afraid of it anymore."

Louis couldn't resist, "What happened?"

"They threatened to kick me out. Cut me off. Take away my car. And I was graduating soon and I'd already gotten accepted. They told me they weren't going to pay for college and I'd be alone. So I had a choice. They told me I could keep quiet about who I was, not tell anyone I'm...interested in the same sex and I'd go to the college of my dreams. They'd pay for my apartment. All my bills. Or I could come out. And have no house, no education, and no family. I chose the former."

Harry exhaled a shaky breath at the end.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I've only told one other person my story. And he changed my life."

Louis pulled Harry up so they were looking at each other. "Really, I'm so grateful you told me all of that. I get it now. I get why you're so scared to admit out loud who you are."

Harry's head start to drop in shame but Louis pick it back up and ran a hand across his cheek, "You are so brave. You've accepted who you are within yourself. That's a huge step. And you made a hard decision that effects your entire future."

"I'm tired of talking about it. Can you kiss me, please?"

And how could Louis say no to that? He smirked and closed the few inches between them. Harry sighed into Louis' mouth and Louis felt so much of Harry's tension leave him. Louis pulled Harry into his lap and wrapped his arms around him tight.

Harry felt so safe with Louis. He knew that he could say pretty much anything and Louis wouldn't judge him. He'd already said a few awful things and Louis always forgave him.

Harry relished in the slow drag of Louis' thin lips against his own. He loved the taste of them. Like the tea he always drank. Harry could kiss him forever, but he still had a few things left to say. So he pulled back and cupped Louis face in his hands.

"I have the hardest time controlling myself around you. Every time I see I wanna kiss you. I want put my fingers in your hair and my lips against your skin."

Louis smiled at that. "Me too," he said shyly.

"But my parent's eyes are everywhere. They're close with the Dean and most of the board. They have connections with many of the professors at school. They check up on me often to make sure I'm keeping up appearances. Especially since Mom made senate."

Louis was hating these people more and more.

"I want to be with you. I want to be your, um, your boyfriend. But I don't want to do that to you. I can't go on dates with you. I can't hold your hand in public. I can't tell anyone how I feel about you."

Louis combed through Harry's hair and settled his hands on Harry's neck. "I don't care. I want you. I want to be with you."

Harry smiled so brightly Louis thought he might turn the night into day. He kissed Louis again. He was so excited he bit down on Louis' lip and Louis groaned.

Harry pulled away quickly and apologized.

"Don't be. You're great. You're perfect."

Harry put his forehead to Louis' and closed his eyes. "I've never done anything."

"What do you mean 'anything'?" Louis smoothed his fingers on Harrys hips trying to keep him calm and reassured.

"I mean I never did anything with a guy because it was bad," Louis cringed at that, "And I never did anything with a girl because I wasn't interested."

"So you've never done anything, then. Okay." Louis kissed Harry's nose. "How about to yourself?"

Harry blushed bright red and ducked his head down under Louis jaw. "I've, uh, I've gotten myself off plenty." Louis relaxed a little. He didn't feel quite as much like a creepy predator. "But that's it I guess."

"Have you ever," Louis was treading on thin ice here. He didn't want Harry to close up, "you know, used your fingers before?"

Harry shot straight up and stared at Louis. "What! I've never. No!"

Louis ran his hands along Harry's arms and shhh'd him gently. "That's okay. I was just wondering."

Harry did finally get his face back into Louis neck again. Louis relented and wrapped him back up in his arms.

When they were both relaxed again Harry muttered, "But I want to."

Death, Louis decided. Harry Styles would be be death of Louis Tomlinson.

Chapter Text

Winter break was finally here. Three whole weeks off of school! Midterms had gone well. The boys passed with flying colors. Lindon was so impressed that he passed their project along to the head of the department for use in future classes.

The five of them were sitting in the coffee shop that they'd taken to during long study sessions over this semester. Louis and Harry were sipping tea and making puppy eyes at each other while pretending the others didn't notice.

"I'm so ready for these three weeks. I just need a break," Zayn said.

Liam put an arm around Zayn and agreed, "You're so right," he whispered into Zayn's cheek, "I am going to enjoy every moment of it."

Zayn blushed and tried to hide his face.

"You two are gross," Louis complained without any real force behind it.

Zayn easily forgot his shyness and scoffed, "Are you kidding? I found come on my bathroom counter the day after you guys went at it in there."


"What? It's true!"

Louis and Harry hadn't really talked about what happened two days ago. They talked. Hadn't really stopped talking actually. Texting constantly. But they hadn't talked. Harry called Louis last night and whispered his fears about the boys knowing until they fell asleep.

Fears Zayn was currently bringing to fruition.

Niall slapped Zayn upside the head, "Shut up dipshit. Can't you see Harry doesn't want to talk about it."

They all looked to where Harry was sitting, red-faced and shiny-eyed. Louis wasn't sure what the protocol was here. Harry had made it very clear not to touch him in an non-platonic way in public. But he just needed to reach out and run his fingers through Harrys curls.

"You're shit, Zayn."

Zayn looked remorseful immediately. "Hey, Haz, I didn't mean it. I mean I did find-never mind. I won't bring it up again, okay."

Harry nodded weakly.

They got silent for a bit until Niall offered, "Well I'm not actually looking forward to this break."

"Why not," Liam asked.

"Since I told my parents I was bi last summer they haven't let me back in the house. This will be first break without seeing my parents," Niall explained.

"You and me both, Ni," Harry offered.

"What? You didn't tell me they kicked you out!" Louis freaked.

Harry reached a hand towards Louis, but then withdrew it, thinking better of it. "They didn't really. But I can't go home now that," Harry trailed off, "Its different now, a little."

Louis certainly didn't smile.

"Well then! You and I can just muck about for three weeks together!" Niall suggested enthusiastically.

"Wait," Louis whined, "I want to-" He cut off when he saw Zayn's knowing smirk and Liam's fond face. "I mean, I could stay around. If you guys don't mind."

"Yeah. You could stick around. If you want," Harry quickly amended.

"Well hell, now I'm feeling peer pressure," Zayn threw his hands out.

"Zayn? Would you like to join our bromantic three week bonanza?" Niall sasses.

"Aww, babe, we should. Let's like go on holiday for the break. All of us. We could go skiing. Or to the beach. Or camping," Liam made plans excitedly.

So there's that. The five had only met four months ago, but here they were, going on a three week vacation together.

This should be good.

Chapter Text

The road opened to show a clearing surrounded by thick forest. The trees were nearly bare, with it being December. The wind was whipping through the open field but luckily it wasn't snowing. At the back of the field was a decent sized cabin with a covered front porch, complete with rocking chairs and a swing.

All five boys were crammed into Liam's car. They were more concerned with saving gas and whom was going to ride with whom when they left to be concerned about comfort. So they all piled into one car. Now they were regretting it. Zayn had commandeered shotgun for obvious reasons. Which left Niall, Louis, and Harry to squeeze into the back seat.

Louis ended up in the middle, fighting between cuddling with Harry and smacking Niall when he farted, the whole time. He tried to keep his touching Harry to a minimum, but when Harry reached out and intertwined his fingers with Louis' he didn't move for the rest of the trip.

Now here they are in the middle of nowhere about to spend three weeks in Harry's uncle's, admittedly nice, cabin. Harry assured them heat and a stove, but also say something about no cable or internet, and service seemed to be shit.

They unloaded the car and hauled their bags inside.

"It's only got two bedrooms but the couch pulls out to a pretty comfy bed. I've stayed on it a few times and it's good," Harry explained. "One room has a king and the other has two queens. I don't mind the couch."

"What? No Harry this is your place you deserve a bed," Liam protested.

"Yeah, Harry gets a bed," Zayn agreed, "But to be honest Liam and I should probably take the room with the one. Unless someone really wants to share a room with us." Zayn arched a perfect eyebrow.


"I'm good!"

And Harry just blushed.

"So Niall, do you, uh, wanna take the other bed?" Louis questioned awkwardly.

Niall just smiled. "Nah, mate, I think couch is good for me," and then he winked so Harry didn't see.

Louis eyes went wide for just a second but he composed himself and muttered, "Thanks."

"Can we hurry up and unpack so we can eat? Harry, you did say this place had food, right?" Niall inquired.

"Yes, Ni. Uncle Ben sent someone down here to stock the place full of shit we shouldn't eat. And fruit for me."

Louis ignore the blessed news that Harry liked to eat fruit. He could imagine how sweet he tasted. Louis shook he thoughts away. "And turned on the heat," he said instead, "It feels great in here."

"Yeah. He was glad to do it. It's not like he uses this place anymore. His third wife is the one that made him buy it, but wife number four hates this place."

"Better for us!" Niall cheered.

They separated to their rooms and starting unpacking. Louis let Harry have first choice of bed, seeing as it's his place. He chose the one by the closet so Louis took the one closer to the bathroom. Each room had it's own bathroom and then another on the other side of the kitchen.

Harry had just gotten done putting all his jeans into a drawer when they heard a loud bang come from behind the wall to the other bedroom.

Harry looked alarmed until they heard another bang and small moan emanated from the room. Then Harry looked alarmed for an entirely different reason.

"Christening the room already, Jesus," Louis complained playfully.

Harry just nodded.

"Are you okay? You've been sorta quiet."

"I'm, uh, I'm good." Harry assured him.

"Do they make you uncomfortable. Because I'll go over there. Walk right in, I'll have to cover my eyes cause uhhh," Louis shivered, "but I'll go tell them to shut the fuck up." Louis was rambling now but he just wanted Harry to be comfortable here.

"Uh, no it's not uncomfortable. I just, um," Harry pushed his heel down on his now noticeable bulge.


"Sorry. I'll be fine in a sec I just," Harry turned around, "Since we, uh, it's been tense for me."

Louis came up behind Harry and gently removed his hand from his crotch and replace it with his own. Harry shuddered and leaned back into Louis' body. Louis ran his hand smoothly from the waistband of Harry's ever tightening jeans to the tip of his hard on.

"Lou," Harry breathed.


"I'm scared."

Louis hand paused, but Harry pushed into his palm so Louis started to move again. "Scared of what, love?"

Harry let his head fall back onto Louis' shoulders and ran his tongue over his pink lips slowly before answering. "Scared of what three weeks here is going to do to me."

Louis tried to concentrate of the words coming out of Harry's mouth and not the mouth itself. "What do you think is going to happen to you?"

Harry scrunched his eyes tight like he didn't want to answer but did anyway, "I'm afraid I'll be gay by the time I leave here."

Louis groaned and pushed his now tented pants into Harry's back.

Harry broke away from Louis and looked away sheepishly. "I'm gonna go take a shower," he ducked away with a towel. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be so-" but Harry was already on the other side of the door. Louis pressed down on himself and willed his erection to dissipate. He was sure he was gonna suffer from permanent blue balls this entire break. Problem is, he wasn't sure he cared.

Chapter Text

Louis had finally calmed down and was dumping his shoes, aka Vans, a pair of snow boots, and slippers, at the foot of his bed when Harry came back from his shower clad in, you guessed it, only a towel and wet curls.

Louis groaned quietly and immediately focused very hard on lining his shoes up just right.

"I feel so much better, Lou."

Louis chanced a glance and Harry and could take one guess why Harry was so giddy now. His cheeks were flushed and you could see little marks where he'd been biting his lip.

"I bet."

Harry paused for a second but continued. He went to his suitcase and pulled out joggers and a tee shirt. He'd already put his underwear away so he went to the dresser to find some.

Louis was determinedly straightening the already straight row of shoes.


"Hmm?" he croaked.

"Can you look at me for a second?" Louis wasn't sure if that was a good idea but he did it anyway.

Nope. Not a good idea. Harry was now only in a tiny pair of dark gray boxer briefs. They were tight on his narrow hips and hugged the top of his thighs.

Louis forced his eyes to move upward to where Harry was shifting his gaze nervously.

Louis walked to where they were a few feet apart so looking down would be obvious and therefore less tempting.

"I'm not very good at this, am I?" Harry asked.

"At what, babe?" Louis paused at the nickname, but Harry didn't seem to mind. He was suppressing a grin actually so Louis took that as a win.

"At, um, I don't know. Liking you."

Louis' fond must've been off the charts at that. He could feel his face split into a wide grin. "No you're very good, very good, at that."

"But I'm not very good at showing it."

Louis shrugged it off. "That's okay. I'm not in a rush. You don't have to show me, or anyone, anything you don't want to."

"Was that a naughty reference?"

Louis laughed, "I didn't mean for it to be."

"Oh," Harry bit his lip and looked at his bare feet. "Darn."

Louis gulped down the now very large amount of naughty things he wanted to pelt Harry with and settled for, "Listen, sweetheart, I know," Louis paused. "Can we sit down?" Harry walked over to the bed and sat on it on his knees.

Louis almost kneeled at the sight. "Uh, maybe you should get dressed and then we'll sit."

Harry nodded and obediently went to put on the comfy clothes he'd picked out. He came and sat back down on his knees.

At least he's got clothes on, Louis thought.

"Ok," Louis sat down beside Harry, one leg bent on the bed, the other hanging off, "I like you. A lot. I know you've said you like me too."

Harry nodded slowly and put his hands, folded, in his lap. Louis had to take a long, deep breath before he tackled Harry backwards down to the bed.

"I know you're situation. And I know you're very," he tried to think of the least embarrassing way to say it, "new to this."

Harry flushed just a little but kept still.

"The point is, I don't want to do anything that you're uncomfortable with."

"What do you mean? I'm pretty comfortable with you Lou." Harry said helpfully.

"That's great. I'm really glad to hear that. I just mean, like, physically. I don't want to do anything you don't want to."

"Like what?"

Harry couldn't be this naive? I mean I get he's virgin and everything but Jesus. It's like he doesn't even know what sex is!

"Harry you've been informed about things like, um, things like...what we did the other night. How'd you know how to do that?"

"Oh." Harry's cheeks were bright now. "Well, I, I mean, like I said I've done that kind of thing to myself before."

Louis nodded. "Yeah, but he said you'd never seen," he gestured with his hands, "someone else's, um, dick," he whispered, "before."

Harry sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and started gnawing on it gently. "Yeah," he finally said.

"So why were you so," Louis was trying not to get exasperated, "familiar?"

Harry just shrugged. Shrugged. Like being great at giving handjobs when you'd never even been kissed was shruggable.

"Harry help me understand. You'd never touched someone else, male or female, never been kissed. Never even seen another dick in your life. How-"

"I googled it, okay!"

Louis was stunned to silence. "Google?"

Harry was worrying his lip harshly now and fumbling with his fingers in his lap.

"You Googled handjobs?"

Harry was looking everywhere but Louis' face. "I've been having thoughts, about you I mean, for months." Louis opened his mouth to respond but Harry kept going. "Even back when you were with Niall. Really since the first time I saw you. Actually I went home that night and wrote in my journal that you were the most beautiful person I'd ever seen."

Harry seemed to realized the weight of his confession because he ducked his head down and apologized. "I'm, God, I'm so sorry. That's probably really creepy."

"Keep talking," Louis murmured.

Harry caught Louis' gaze and saw that the gray/blue was replace by black. Harry smirked.

"About what?"

"The months you liked me. Tell me what else you wrote. And googled."

Harry nodded unsure. "Well, the night I called you a f-bad word, I went home and wanked to you."

Louis made a strangled noise but Harry kept going.

"I felt bad afterwards cause I'd made you feel bad and I'm so sorry for that. But I only did it 'cause I was so mad that you and that stupid teacher," Harry breathed out, "You made me touch myself and think about you that night."

Louis closed his eyes and sent a plea to God.

"And it just kept getting worse. For weeks I saw you and Niall flirting and getting on. So I started thinking of all the things I wanted to do to you." Harry nodded, remembering. "I started looking up some stuff."

Louis had to wet his lips and cough before he could voice, "Stuff like what?"

"Like handjobs. I'd never watched porn before. But I watched some. I wondered how big you were. Because the guys in the videos were different sizes."

Louis pictured Harry, innocent Harry, sitting in front of his laptop, clicking away. Watching gay porn like it was an instruction video.

Then he stopped, "I thought you'd never seen one before me."

Harry just tilted his head. "Yeah. I don't count digital ones. It wasn't real. Just like it wasn't really you that I got off to. Just the thought of you."

Louis was going to die. Did this kid have any idea...ugh!

"Plus I'd never even seen a digital one until you made me so it still counts."

Louis couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction. "What else did you look up?"

"Tons of stuff. But I can't tell you because it's waaaay too embarrassing."

"No. Come on."

"You said you wouldn't make me," Harry mentioned feebly.

Louis smacked himself internally. "Of course. You're right. I'm sorry."

Harry brushed it off. "It's okay. I just, I'm not ready."

"Yeah, of course."

"I hope you'll be patient with me."

"I will. I'll try," Louis corrected himself.

"Good. Because I want to try everything I looked up. At some point."

Louis just fell back on the bed and curled up. "God, Harry."

Chapter Text

The first dinner was boxed macaroni and cheese and polish sausage. Harry cooked and the boys had thirds. It was crap food but so good. After dinner they gathered around the fireplace and tried to make plans for the three weeks here. Everyone was getting settled and cozy here.

"I'd love to go hiking. There's a trail about three miles long that leads to an amazing view of a waterfall," Harry recommended.

"Yeah that sounds cool, actually," Zayn agreed.

"Hiking? I don't know. We better bring, like, tons of snacks," Niall said and rolled his eyes.

"I'd love to see the waterfall, Harry," Louis encouraged. The two of them were currently sitting next to each other, but the longer they sat the more contact Harry was making.

They've been discussing activities for a half hour now and over that time Harry's toes found their way under Louis thigh, he had his legs bent to his chest, and his head rested on Louis' shoulder.

Louis reached a hand behind Harry and wrapped it around Harry's thin waist. He thought he was safe with the touch but then Harry reached down and pulled Louis' hand away.

Louis looked up from Harry and saw Zayn watching them. Harry must've noticed too.

Louis nuzzled down next to Harry's ear and whispered so only he could hear, "Am I allowed to touch you in front of the boys?" Harry wiggled in closer but didn't answer. "If your worried about keeping our secret, sorry love, but they already know."

Harry made a noise of protest and looked up at Louis, "They don't know anything," he whispered.

Louis checked to see if they were still being watched, but Niall had launched into a full meal plan for the next few days and Liam and Zayn were trying to appease him.

"Babe, we're not as slick as we think."

Harry smiled at the obviousness of the statement. "No I mean, they don't know," Harry leaned in to whisper low in Louis' ear, "that when you touch me in front of them I have a hard time staying in control."

Louis beat down his urge to touch Harry right then to test that theory. "You can touch me too, ya know, they don't mind. We can hold hands, hug, cuddle. We have to put up with Zayn and Liam all the time, so why not?"

"I'm not sure."

"That's fine. You don't have to. I just wanted you to know you could," Louis checked for reassurance that Harry understood before continuing, "But I would love to be able to touch you around them."

Harry's lips formed a lip line and he seemed to debate a great deal in his head before he reached forward and kissed Louis' cheek. "I'd like that. I hope they don't judge me."

"They wouldn't dare. Plus, I'd beat 'em if they did."

Harry laughed lightly and rested his head back on Louis shoulder.

"Right, Louis?" Liam broke Louis' train of thought.

"Uh, what, yeah sure."

"See! It's perfectly fine to drink and hike," Liam cheered.

"Babe, no. You'll vomit all over and I'm not kissing you after that," Zayn complained.

"How about we take a six pack and drink when we get there?" Louis suggested.

"See, thank you Tommo," Zayn agreed.

"I might kiss Louis right now!" Harry belted out of nowhere.

The other three just looked at Harry with slightly confused, slightly bored faces. Louis however was deciding whether or not to be shocked or ecstatic.

"Ok?" Niall questioned.

"Go for it..." Zayn said slowly.

"Ok, then," Harry relaxed, "Now you can stop looking at me."

They returned to their previous conversation, but Louis put a hand under Harry's chin and tilted it up so Harry would look at him.

"You don't have to," he said, trying to hide his anticipation.

"I know."

Harry reached his head forward and put his lips within kissing distance of Louis. Louis didn't need to be told twice.

He captured Harry's lips against his own in a slow, sweet kiss. It didn't lead anywhere, they just felt each other for a moment, and then melted into it.

Louis slipped a hand into Harry's curls and scratched lightly at his scalp. Harry made a pleasant sound and squeezed his long limbs closer to Louis' body.

He tilted Harry's head back so they could fit better and Harry sighed into Louis' mouth. They just enjoyed this uninterrupted moment of Harry's bravery.

Too soon, Harry pulled back. Louis could've passed out at the way Harry looked. Eyelids hooded, lips swollen. He took it all in for as long as Harry would let him.

"I'm a bit tired. Can we go to bed?" Harry asked quietly.

"Guys were tired. Night!" Louis said too loudly. Louis stood up and helped Harry up too. They walked off towards their room and heard the boys in the background making a bit of fun.

Harry was gently pulling Louis by the hand down the hall to their room. Their room. Woah.

I'm sharing a room with him. Oh god this is...bad? Great? I don't know.

Either way Harry was pretty sure this break was going to be very revealing. Starting with this moment.

They were both standing there, a couple feet apart. Harry was trying to decide if he should change in front of Louis. Normally he slept naked, but there's no way he's doing that now.

Louis' seen Harry in a towel twice now, but it's different when you have to actually take your clothes off with someone else in the room.

Louis could probably sense that Harry was having a huge internal dilemma because he said, "I can," and pointed behind him to the bathroom. Harry looked over his shoulder like the bathroom door would give him the answer. "It's fine, Harry. I'm gonna go take a shower," Louis, thankfully, offered.

Louis reached into his bag and grabbed some shorts, boxers, and towel then went into the bathroom.

Harry watched him go. Wish he could go with him. Louis probably wouldn't mind. He's been very encouraging of Harry's tendency to touch and then withdraw. But Harry was already hating himself a little for taking an extra step towards the bathroom.

Then he banished those negative feelings away. It's fine. There's nothing wrong with you, Harry. You like Louis.

Harry let that sink in while he stripped down to his underwear and got into bed. By the time the bathroom opened and the light peeked into the silent bedroom Harry was nearly asleep.

He heard faint moving and figured Louis was getting into bed, but then he felt someone behind him. Louis leaned down and kissed Harry's hair. "Goodnight, sweetheart."

Harry stayed still until Louis did go get in bed. As soon as he was sure Louis was laying down Harry buried his head in the pillow to hide his smile.

Chapter Text

Hiking day. It took three days of board games and charades turning into utter boredom to convince Liam and Niall to brave the cold outside.

It still wasn't snowing but it was definitely getting colder. And they didn't have service to check the weather and see if it was going to get colder or not.

So they chose to take the opportunity in case the weather took a turn. The boys were packed and layered in warm clothes.

Niall made Zayn carry his hiking supplies in his bag so Niall could fill his own with sustenance for the day ahead. Including but not limited to: cheese balls, now cold (but soon to be lukewarm) beer, sweets, sliced chicken sandwiches, and potato salad Harry had made last night.

They set off. The wind wasn't harsh, but it chilled to the bone. The trees seemed to be shuddering right along side the boys. The sky was bright blue though. Almost too bright.

Harry was shielding his eyes so he could lead the way. Louis was trailing just a step behind him. When he saw Harry struggling he pulled his bag off his shoulder and pulled out his sunglasses that he'd packed and tapped them on Harry's shoulder.

"Oh, thanks," Harry smiled and took them.

Louis took that as an invite (he took anything as an invite) to walk next to Harry.

"Is this view really worth it?"

Harry smiled at the trail ahead of him and nodded. "I can't describe it. It's my favorite part of being out here."

"Really? Must be some damn good water."

Harry giggled, "It's pretty great."

Louis let them fall into comfortable silence. They walked and listened to Zayn complain about regretting his prior enthusiasm and Liam soothing him. Niall was munching on a sandwich and listening to music.

"Li, these boots hurt," Zayn whined.

"But they look so good on you," liam placated, "And so does this jacket," his voice lowered a little, "and these jeans."

They heard Zayn high-pitched surprise behind them. "Liam James!" Zayn admonished.

Louis and Harry both laughed then looked at each other. Louis beamed and Harry blushed. Louis brushed his hand against Harry's. Thank God the boy got the hint and twisted their fingers together.

Louis was flying. Since Harry made his declaration to the others a couple nights ago he'd been very comfortable with mild PDA. He still didn't kiss Louis in front of anyone much.

But he kissed him plenty in private. Good night kisses, good morning kisses (after Harry brushed his teeth because he refused to before), stolen kisses while Harry was cooking in the kitchen.

Louis was getting used to the feeling of Harry's lips. But he still wasn't over it. Didn't think he ever would be. The kisses were great. Really. And Harry even let Louis cuddle with him on the couch last night after dinner.

But they were still in separate beds. And Louis was getting tired of cold showers.

He'd never had to wait on someone like this before. He had a reputation for a reason. Not saying he's a slut or anything but...

Louis didn't want to mess this up. Harry was so beautiful. And he was sweet. And he was trusting Louis not to be a pushy shit.

So Louis made sure to asked before he kissed him. And didn't push him. Always tried to follow Harry's lead. Waited for Harry to break through whatever was holding him back.

Like right now. He was so jealous that Liam could flirt openly with his boy but Louis had to discretely relish the opportunity to even hold Harry's hand.

Whatever. If holding hands made him feel this good he was fine waiting.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Harry asked.

"Thinking about you."

Harry smirked. "Safe thoughts?"

"Well I don't mind 'em."

"So not safe thoughts, then?"

"Nah, just thinking about our hands."

"God Lou!"

"No! I didn't mean-"

Harry dropped Louis' hand and Louis wanted to smack himself, but then Harry put an arm around his shoulders and pulled him in. "I'm kidding. What about my hands?"

Louis wrapped his arm around Harry's waist and they walked like that. "Really nothing 'unsafe'," Louis mocked with his tone. "Just that I like holding your hand," he admitted with his face tucked into Harry's shoulder.

Harry kissed the top of Louis' head. "That's so sweet. I like holding your hand, too." Louis made a pleased noise and kept himself close to Harry's side. "I like kissing you, too."

"Yeah? I really like that."

Harry lowered his voice. "And it's been a while since we did, um, anything else."

Louis took a mental moment before speaking so he didn't say anything embarrassing like, I don't know, PLEASE FUCK ME! or maybe I NEED YOU, YOU SHITHEAD!

Two long seconds later he responded with a very well-thought out and clever, "Yeah."

Mental face palm.

"I'm sorry for that."

Louis squeezed his side and immediately said, "Don't you dare. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"Well, I just mean, I'm sorry for making you wait."

"Harry," Louis sounded serious so Harry looked down at him. Once Louis had his full attention he continued, "I'll wait as long as you need. Don't even question that."

"Yeah," he sounded thoughtful. He stayed quiet and Louis was about to let it go. Then Harry leaned in to whisper, "I might, sort of," he exhaled a hot breath over Louis ear, "want you to blow me when we get back to the cabin."

Louis' grip tightened noticeably on Harry's waist. Where did this boy get his flirting technique from? Louis was going to get whiplash.

He perked up but stayed tucked into Harry. "I can, yeah, I can, fuck. I can do that."

Harry nodded but didn't respond verbally. He just kissed Louis cheek and ran he hand from Louis' neck, down his back, to his waist.

This view could be fucking brilliant but Louis knew he'd be waaaay happier as soon as he saw the cabin.

Chapter Text

Harry was right. The view was amazing. The waterfall was at least twenty feet over their heads. It came down into a crystal clear lake. Trees made a canopy over half of the oasis. And behind the falls was a cave.

The water was too cold to mess with but Niall is an idiot so he messed with it anyway. He took off his jacket and starting darting his hands into the water trying to catch fish.

Zayn found a tree to lean on that made him look extra mysterious. Liam was all over it. Within minutes Harry and Louis were left to their own devices.

Harry led Louis behind the falls into the hole in the rock with his hands covering Louis' eyes.

"Don't worry. I won't let you fall."

"I know," Louis said confidently.

Harry delivered a quick kiss to the back of Louis' head and kept them walking. When they were behind the water facing out Harry took his hands off Louis' eyes.

"Wow. This is cool, Harry."

"Now turn around."

Louis turned to face Harry behind him and couldn't believe what he saw. The cave was aglow. Greens and blues reflected back and forth. The rock was bright with color.

Louis took it all in and then finally landed on Harry's face. He gasped in awe. Harry's green eyes were glowing green, taking in all the color of the cave. He face was washed in shades a blues and greens. His whole body looked sort of like stained glass.

"Beautiful," Louis spoke in awe.

Harry smiled wide and looked around. The light rippled over his jaw with the movement. "I know, right? I told you it was incredible!"

Louis still couldn't look away. "Incredible."

Harry looked back and saw Louis was still staring at him. "Oh." He flushed and ran a hand through his hair. It didn't help matters though that his curls caught every fleck when they moved.

"I really want-Can I kiss you?"

Harry's hand froze in his hair for a second before he removed it and nodded enthusiastically.

Louis closed the step between them and reached up while Harry leaned down. It never ceased to amaze Louis that Harry tasted like citrus every time.

The way Harry's tongue swept across Louis bottom lip, unsure but needy, made Louis open up to him. Harry took that as a great victory and began licking every inch of the inside of Louis' mouth.

Harry could never get over the taste of him. His teeth had this smooth texture, while his tongue was rough. The roof of his mouth had those ridges that Harry liked to lick across. Louis would moan every time.

This time was no exception. Harry dragged the tip of his tongue along the roof of Louis' mouth slowly and Louis subconsciously leaned into it and made that sound that drove Harry crazy.

Harry felt like king of the fucking world. Here was Louis, this fit, older man, that wanted Harry. There was no way he would let his past and his own insecurities ruin this for him.

Harry broke the kiss but kept his lips against Louis'. "I need you," he rasped.

Louis groaned and kissed the corner of his mouth. Then his chin. Then underneath his chin. Then down his neck. By the time he'd found Harry collar bones, Harry was hard.

"Can we go back? The view is beautiful but," Louis tried.

"Yes. Yes, please," Harry barely got out.

They both scrambled across the slick rock to the safety of the forest floor.

"Were gonna head back!" Louis called.

"What no lunch? I packed stuff for us!" Niall complained.

"Yeah. Come on, Harry, this was your idea," Liam added.

"I'm just, uh, not feeling well. I'd like to just head back. But you guys stay. Enjoy the view," Harry lied.

"I'll make sure he's okay. you guys have fun!" Louis called while he pulled Harry back towards the cabin.

Louis thought he heard Zayn say something like Make sure he's okay, my ass.

The two practically ran back the way they came. Backpacks were bouncing and they were laughing at their absurdity.

By the time they finally made it back they were both sweating. They stopped on the porch and dropped their stuff. There was a brief moment of complete stillness before Harry grabbed Louis' face and pulled him in.

They tangled their lips and tongues and hands until they couldn't breath and the world was spinning faster than usual.

"I'm sweaty," Harry pointed out.

"I know," Louis smirked, "It looks good on you."

"I need to clean up."

"Can't it wait."

Harry still held Louis' face so he rubbed his thumb across his cheek. "You could join me?"

"You mean like in," he trailed off and just started gesturing.

"In the shower. Yes. Come shower with me," Harry lowered his voice like someone might hear, "And give me my first blow job from a man."

Louis almost ripped Harry's arm off dragging him to the bathroom. He did rip Harry's clothes off, though. And his own. He turned on the water and then the shower.

When he turned around he realized Harry's was hugging his arms around his waist and looking everywhere but at Louis.

"Oh, babe, don't do that," he gently removed Harry's arms from around him, "Lemme see you." Louis gave a long, appreciative look from head to toe and back. "So lovely," he said into Harry's cheek.

Harry's pushed back against Louis' cheek with his own. "Come on."

"I mean it. You're so beautiful, Harry. You have no idea what you do to me."

Harry hugged his arms around Louis. "I think I have an idea."

Louis didn't understand but then Harry pushed his hips into Louis and Louis felt himself hard against his stomach.

"Shower with me," Harry whispered.

They both got in and let the water run over them. Harry's hair sat straight on his neck. Louis wrapped his fingers in it and pulled slightly.

Harry keened and push his hips against Louis' again. Harry was getting harder every second. Louis gripped Harry's hips and pulled them together.

"I can't get enough of you, Haz. You feel so good."

Harry's only response was to push his hard on into Louis'. Louis let his head fall onto Harry's shoulder and bit down into the skin.

Harry's dug his nails into Louis shoulders. "Stop, stop. Please do something before I come," Harry begged.

Louis pulled back and place a quick kiss to Harry's lips before dropping to his knees.

Harry wanted to worry about the hard tile on Louis' soft knees, but the sight of Louis salivating over Harry's cock was a bit more powerful.

Louis licked his lips once and then licked a long strip up the underside of Harry's hard, pink dick. Harry's fingers where quick to claim space in Louis' hair.

Louis did the same again, but slower, and when he got to the head he closed his lips around it and sucked lightly. Harry made a strangled noise that only made Louis want more.

So he took more. More of Harry into his mouth. He sank down on Harry inch by inch until he couldn't take anymore and stayed there, flexing his throat around Harry's leaking tip.

Louis could taste Harry's precome drip down his throat. He wanted to know what Harry's actual come tasted like.

Louis began to bob his head up and down Harry's length, finding a quick rhythm. Harry noises were becoming increasing loud. He was glad that the boys stayed behind so they didn't have to hear him moaning so unabashed for more of Louis' mouth.

Louis worked his tongue back and forth across the thick vein underneath Harry's cock. He ran his tongue all the way to the tip where he played with the now almost constant stream of precome there. He lapped it up like it was candy.

Louis looked up to see Harry staring back. The look of Harry's lust for him almost had Louis coming on the spot. He squeezed a hand around himself to stave off his impending orgasm.

"Yes, come on, Louis. Get off with me." Louis hollowed out his cheeks while he started moving his hand over himself. Harry's moaned out at the sight. "Jesus Christ, Lou. Look at you. So eager. You want it so bad, I can tell."

Louis whined around Harry's cock, making Harry thrust forward. Louis choked but kept his mouth around Harry. He hummed and moved further down towards Harry's stomach.

Louis' hand was quick on himself now. The sounds that Harry was making combined with the heavy feeling of Harry on his tongue had Louis flirting with the edge too quickly.

Louis worked Harry's cock harder, refusing to be the first to come. A few more flicks of his tongue and Harry was gripping Louis' hair tight and coming down Louis' throat with a broken groan. Relief flooded Louis and he released a high-pitched moan around Harry and came.

He worked them both through their orgasms until Harry fell to the floor of the shower, his legs unable to keep up another second. They both sat there breathing heavily.

"Why do I feel like I ran a marathon when I didn't do any of the work?" Harry asked with no air and voice dead.

"I have," Louis breathed, "that effect of people."

Harry just laughed and pulled Louis to him.

"So?" Louis said and wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. "First blow job. How'd I do?"

Louis could feel Harry shaking his head. "I wasn't prepared for that," he said while still catching his breath.

"I figured," Louis answered smugly.

Harry swatted him playful but pulled him closer. They didn't move for a while. He guessed they were just going to let the boys find them like this.

He didn't mind so much.

Chapter Text

Cuddling on the floor of a shower was cute for about two minutes. Louis' hands were getting pruney and his hair was wet and dripping down his face. But Harry seemed content and Louis wasn't going to move until Harry said so.

"Can we, um," Harry pulled back to look at Louis, "I like the cuddling, but can we maybe get out of the shower?" Harry asked.

"Yes, we can do that." Louis leaned over and turned off the water. Harry opened the shower door and reached for both the towels on the rack. He handed one to Louis and used the other for himself.

Louis stepped out and towel dried his hair. When he flipped his head back up Harry was already wrapped in the towel. His curls were hanging in his face. Louis had the urge to reach out and touch them.

"You can touch me. If you want," Harry murmured.

Well if you say so.

Louis reached out his hand and ran his fingers through the front of Harry's hair pushing it out of his face.

Harry leaned into the touch and closed his eyes. "I think you can touch me whenever you want. Around the boys I mean," Harry quickly amended without opening his eyes.

"Don't say it if you don't mean it, Harry, because I will take full advantage."

Harry did open his eyes now. But Louis didn't take his fingers away from Harry's hair. "I mean it. But only in front of the boys okay? I still can't-"

"I know. That's fine," Louis closed the remaining space and gave Harry's nose an Eskimo kiss. "I'm so happy."

"Really? Even if I can't be gay?"

Louis had to press his lips together to keep from saying something harsh. "You can be whatever you want as long as you want me."

Harry grinned at that, "I do. I want you."

Louis kissed one cheek and then the other. "Ok, then."


There was no mistaking when the other three got home.

"Sing with me Zayn!" Niall shouted.

"Sod off, idiot," Zayn grumbled.

"Liam! Sing with me!"

"Oh when the saints! Go marching in!" Liam rang out.

"Oh when the saints go marching in!" Niall and Liam sang to together.

"What the hell?" Louis came out of the bedroom in his boxers with mussed up hair.

Harry and him had been having a very nice nap. Louis even got to be big spoon. And Harry was so soft under him.

Harry had woken at the noise but Louis told him to go back to sleep and Louis would check it out.

"You woke him up, guys. Good job," Zayn pointed out.

"Sorry, Lou! I'm sorry!" Niall was still yelling.

"Ok, shhhh. Just be quiet. Harry's still asleep."

"Oh Harry really was sick?" Liam asked.

"Yeah, right. If Lou's red knees and hoarse voice are anything to by."

Louis gave Zayn a death glare. He hated that Zayn could always see past what everyone else saw.

"Oh, yeah! Lou, get some!" Niall cheered.

"Shut up," Louis begged, "Harry really is asleep." He pointed to Niall, "Are you drunk?"

"What?" Niall pretended to be offended.

"Forget it. Just please stay quiet so we can sleep."

"Sleep," Liam said accusingly.

Louis just gave them a certain hand gesture and went back to their room.

"Is Niall smashed? He sounds smashed," Harry's voice was thick with sleep.

"Yes," Louis said and crawled back up the bed. Harry lifted up the blanket and Louis shimmied in and up the Harry's back.

Louis made a pleased sound against Harry's shoulders. Harry wiggled back trying to get Louis even closer.

"I don't ever want to leave here," Harry voiced what Louis had been thinking constantly for days now.

"Me either. But you want that degree don't you?"

"I guess. I mean, it's always been the plan. I was fast tracked from the moment I set foot on campus so I could get my degree in two years and join Robin at his company."

"Is that what you want?" Louis asked tentatively. He'd never discussed Harry's family, outside of The Story, and he wasn't sure how to broach it.

"It's what's expected."

"Yeah. And it's a great future. But only if you want it."

"I don't know what I want my future to be anymore."

Harry's words were practically silent but he might as well have been screaming at Louis.

What the hell does that mean?

They've only know each other for six months and only been involved for a couple weeks. They weren't even dating!

But Louis still saw every scenario of his future life with Harry by his side. Was that even sane? Maybe Louis had gone crazy. Maybe he didn't care.

"Yeah. I thought I knew my future too. But I'm not so sure anymore."

Chapter Text

"My sister said the same thing once. She loves all that hippie shit," Louis told Harry.

Harry slapped Louis' chest next to where his head was resting. "It's not hippie shit."

"It is. But that's okay. I think it's cute," Louis appeased.

They've been laying in bed for nearly twenty-four hours. After they woke up from their nap (aka twelve hour sleep) Harry was feeling especially chipper and Louis was the happy recipient of a wake up blow job.

They showered and brushed their teeth together. Then Harry went and grabbed some fruit from the kitchen for them breakfast. Since then, they've been cuddled together in bed talking about everything.

Their families. School. Their pasts. Favorite movies. Books. Music. Tons of music. Everything.

"You've been saying that to everything I say. I like floral shirts. Oh that's cute," Harry mocked, "I used to wear my sister's jeans. That's so cute!"

"Well it is," Louis defended.

"I'm not cute! I'm hott. I'm a man." His words were betrayed by the pouting lip Louis could see out of the corner of his eye and the meek sound of his voice.

"Yes, baby. You are in fact male. That's one of my favorite things about you."


Louis kissed the top of Harry's head and sighed. "I know this sounds awful and cheesy, but this has been one of the best days of my life."

Louis could feel Harry smile against his chest. "Yeah?"


"Good. Me too."

"Harry, can I say? I don't know what's going to happen when we get back but whatever you want to do, I'll support you. Even if that means you don't want me anymore."

Harry's grip on Louis' waist got tighter. "Don't say that. Please. You've, you've given me something I've never had."

"What's that sweetheart?," Louis asked as he ran a hand through Harry's hair.

"A chance to be myself," Harry hid his face in Louis' chest. "I've never felt so...myself around someone before," he mumbled, "I'm afraid that if you leave I'll never be myself again."

Louis kept petting Harry's head and said, "You can always be yourself around me. No matter what. But I want you to be able to be true to yourself without me too."

Harry shifted back so they could look at each other. "Is that like a backwards way of saying you don't think we'll be together very long?"

"No, Harry," Louis smiled then realized. "But, wait are we even, um, together?"

Harry shrugged easily. "I don't know. You know I've never done this before. I was hoping you'd lead the way here."

"I've never done this before either! I'm sort of just going with my gut here."

Harry leaned in so their lips were inches apart. "And what does your gut tell you?"

Louis stopped breathing and looked into Harry's eyes, hoping the right answer would appear.

It didn't. So instead he just said what he was really thinking. "That I'll never be able to let you go." Harry smiled wide at his answer and that made Louis smile.

Harry pulled Louis in by the waist and kissed him. Louis could practically taste Harry's desperation for him. Harry's was kissing and biting and licking and Louis was going to lose his fucking mind.

Louis made a small noise of protest and pushed Harry back just far enough to talk. "I'm gonna lose it if you're not careful, Harry."

"So?" Harry reached and kissed him again. "Lose it."

Louis pulled back again. "I don't think you understand." Louis put a finger to his temple, trying to calm himself. "You're not ready and I'm having a hard time remembering that."

Harry's voice dropped another octave if that was even possible. "Not ready for what? For my first time? For your fingers? Your cock?" Louis trembled. "Who says I'm not?"

Louis gripped Harry's biceps. "Me. I say." Louis tried to pull away from his lips but Harry just kissed down his neck, biting on the junction where his neck met his shoulder. "Shit, Harry, please."

"Yes, Lou, please." Harry's hand slipped under the band of Louis' boxers and messaged his hip. "If you want it, and I want it, then why not?" He bit another mark into Louis' shoulder. "You want to don't you?"

"Fuck, of course I do, Harry."

"Then show me." Harry's hand moved to the front of Louis and pushed gently where he was half hard.

Louis groaned and flipped them over so Harry's was resting between his arms and their legs were intertwined. Louis ducked down and kissed Harry hard. Their lips pressed against each other until Louis felt them tingle with the pressure.

As soon as he felt Harry swipe his tongue across his lip Louis opened his mouth and allowed Harry entrance. Louis could feel every movement of Harry's tongue in his mouth. He licked back across Harry's tongue.

When Louis couldn't breath he moved on to Harry's neck, leaving hot kisses all the way down to his bare chest. He kissed right down the middle in a line, stopping every couple of kisses to bite softly and then lick the tender spot.

Louis kept crawling backwards, down Harry's body, and then off the bed.


"You're not ready Harry," Louis pulled on some shorts. "I'm gonna go join the boys in the living room. Come cuddle with me whenever you want."

Harry's head fell back against the bed and he crossed his arms across his chest in defiance. "You suck."

"I know," Louis quipped and walked out.

Chapter Text

Harry was being stubborn, he knew that. But Louis was treating him like a child and he didn't fancy that much. So he decided to let Louis wonder for bit. Sit our there with the others and wonder if he'd made Harry mad. If maybe he should come back to their room and fuck Harry like he wanted.

But two hours later Louis still hadn't come back. And Harry was hungry. And the blankets were actually getting hot (testament to the great heating in the cabin).

Harry swallowed his pride and stumbled out to the living room after he put a pair of joggers on. Harry was pretty sure they were Louis', if the high-water hem was anything to go by. But he just pushed them up his calf and waltzed out to the others like nothing was a matter.

"Finally, Harry. Are you done sulking yet?" Niall threw at him before he even made it to the couch.

Harry stuck his tongue out and sat down next to Louis.

"Sorry I told them you probably wouldn't be in a very good mood when you came out here," Louis whispered in Harry's ear.

Harry nodded on Louis shoulder and folded himself up to fit in close, feet underneath him and an arm across Louis' lap.

"Wonder why?" Harry sassed.

"Don't be mad. I just couldn't do that to you."

Harry made a wounded sound. "But you left me in there for two hours."

"If I'd of gone back in there I probably would've done something I'd regret, Haz. So I stayed far away from that temptation."

"You'd regret having sex with me." his words were barely audible but Louis heard them clearly in his ear.

Louis pulled back at look Harry's face between his hands. "Making you have sex before you're ready? Yes I would've regretted that." He ran his thumb over Harry's cheek. "When you're ready. When I finally get to have you, regret will be the furthest thing from my mind."

"But I want to. I don't und-"

Louis abruptly stood up and grabbed Harry's hand. He pulled him firmly down the hallway just far enough that they were out of ear's reach of the others.

"You think you're ready?" Louis continued before Harry could answer, "It hurts. Bad. The first time feels like you're burning. And maybe not in a good way. Like your body is being stretched in a way it's never been. Because it is. And you feel open and vulnerable. You have to know and trust the person you're with a thousand percent because it hurts. And the good part doesn't come until the end. And I've only been with you for a very short amount of time. And I haven't been with a virgin in a very long time. And I need to trust you and you need to trust me before we do this. I can't-I won't- hurt you." Louis took a long, soothing breath to calm himself. "So, no, you're not ready. And more importantly, I'm not ready."

Harry's eyes had grown wide during Louis' little speech. "It really hurts that bad?" Louis was surprised that Harry didn't seem scared but merely curious. "I mean. I started researching after I met you. But it never looked like it hurt. And I've never-so I don't know. But does it actually hurt?"

Louis trailed his fingers down Harry's arm. "Yes. But if I do it right then you won't even notice," Louis leaned it to kiss Harry and spoke against his lips, "I promise I'll make you feel so good, so loved, you won't feel anything but amazing." He kissed Harry again. "But not yet."

After a moment Harry kissed Louis' forehead. "How will I know? When I'm ready?"

"You'll know. I'll know. That's where learning trust comes in."

Harry nuzzled into Louis' neck. Louis could feel his breath on his skin. The even puffs of air. "Ok," Harry spoke into his neck, "I get it."

"I'm glad."

"But we can still do other stuff right?"

Harry sounded so unsure. Louis needed to make Harry sure. "Of course, baby, I'd love that."

Harry squeezed Louis in his arms. They stayed tangled together until they heard a voice from the living room.

"If you two are done shagging we want to make dinner!" Zayn rough voice filtered to them.

"Fuck off, Malik!" Louis shot back.

Harry hit Louis' chest. "Be nice."

"Only to you," Louis winked.


"It has to be good, Li," Louis voiced his concerns.

Harry had gone to bed early. Truthfully he was probably still awake, in bed reading some unknown book of poetry that Louis would tease him about when he quoted later.

Niall and Zayn were out on the porch sharing a couple beers and a chat.

Louis opened up to Liam that he wanted to take Harry out. Something special. Make a real evening of it. Then maybe he'd feel ready to do what Harry wanted.

Louis was just so apprehensive. He'd also been the type to take someone home, do it quick and dirty, and send them on their way. He's never had a real relationship before. He wasn't sure how to go about this.

"You wanna do this while we're here?" Liam asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I want to be with him while I still can."

"What do you mean, mate?"

"I mean, I don't know what's going to happen when we get back. Things are probably going to be different when we're back in class. At school. Surrounded by people that answer to Harry's parents."

"You really think Harry would dump you the minute you get back?"

"He can't dump me. We're not dating yet. But I don't want him to, to...leave me."

"Damn. Lou you're gone."

"Shut up. Don't you think I know that?"

"Ok. No need to get defensive. He's a keeper. Got it."

Louis pulled his knees to his chest. "He's never had a boyfriend either, and I just want to do this right. He deserves it."

"Date of a lifetime? Let do it."


"Well I don't know this place very well, but I do know how Harry feels about that oasis with the waterfall."

"A date under the waterfall? That's perfect. I'd have to make a run into town for supplies. Candles. The food, of course. Music. A gift. Flowers? Is that extremely gay? Maybe not flow-"

"Woah. Tommo. Chill." Liam patted Louis' arm. "Whatever you do I'm sure he'll love it. I'm pretty sure he thinks you make the Earth revolve around the Sun."

Louis tried to keep from smiling. And failed. "Yeah? God he's fucking perfect isn't he?"

"Well he's something, that's for sure." Liam gestured vaguely towards outside, "He's no Zayn, but he's pretty cool."

"Speaking of, how are you guys?"

"Great, actually. Zayn is great. I'm just great. We're-"

"Great. Got it. That boy's got you hooked Payno."

"One to talk. You should see yourself."

Louis shrugged. "Well I guess we've both been domesticated."

Liam let his head fall back on the couch. "Guess we have."

Louis squeezed Liam's shoulder. "Thanks, Li."

Liam tilted his head to look at Louis. "No problem. I'm honestly glad you're giving up that whole one night stand thing. You were headed straight for an STI, my friend."

"Me! At least I didn't sleep with the head of the writing department's daughter-"

"She's a good girl!"

"-her best friend-"

"Also a good girl."

"-and her boyfriend."

"Yeah, not a good boy."

"In. One. Night."

Liam at least had the decency to blush. "Fine. I'm glad I put it behind me, too."

Louis stood up. "It's okay. We're better off, mate." He left Liam to ponder his past.

Louis silently slipped into their room and saw Harry sprawled out on his bed. He liked to sleep with the bathroom light on. Right now it was casting a thin sliver of light across his cheek, highlighting the curve that connected his nose to his cheek bone.

A curl had fallen across his face and Harry's even breathing was sending it into the air every couple seconds.

They'd slept in the same bed every night since they got here six days ago, but Louis still had to ponder his options every night.

Did Harry want to sleep next to him every night. Would it make Harry uncomfortable to wake up with someone else there? Were they on a good wavelength that day?

He figured they'd had a good day, despite the brief couple of hours when Louis left Harry alone in their room. So he lifted up the blanket just enough to slip in.

Louis saddled up to Harry's side and wished he was surprised to find Harry sleeping naked. Louis was about to get out and go sleep in his own bed when Harry gripped Louis' side and pulled them together.

He draped a leg over Louis and snuggled his head under Louis' chin. Louis fell asleep too warm under Harry's weight. And he couldn't be happier.

Chapter Text

"Niall!" Louis called across the store. "White or blue candles? White are safe but I know Harry likes blue. But the white ones are bigger and I don't know how long they'll last."

"Louis, shut up. Harry doesn't care which candles you use. As long as you use a good lube."

Louis walked around to the next aisle where Niall was picking up fire wood. The tiny general store in the nearest town was barely fit to supply the date of a lifetime, but it's the best Louis could do.

He'd gotten the tiny speakers to hook up to his phone. The cheap plastic wine glasses, even though technically Harry wasn't old enough to drink yet. The lights on a steak that you put in your garden.

Louis was freaking out. A date. With Harry. This can't be real.

"Will you keep it the fuck down?" Louis admonished.

"What? It's true. He won't be thinking about the candles when your both on the ground-"

"Stop! Seriously don't. Can we just get everything and get out of here. Tomorrow's a big deal and you're not making it any easier."

Niall put a hand around Louis' shoulders. "I'm sorry. Just teasing. Tomorrow will be perfect."

Louis nodded earnestly trying to convince himself that was true.

"There's a deli down the street. I'm going to get some stuff. Will you please get plates and forks and stuff?"

"Sure thing Tommo."


Harry woke up to an empty bed. We'll not empty. He was in it. But Louis wasn't. So it felt empty. Louis always slept with Harry.

He looked across the nightstand and saw the other bed empty too. Well at least he's not there. Louis must've just gotten up before Harry.

He let his face fall into the pillow next to him and inhaled. Yep, Louis definitely slept there. Harry smiled.

The sheets were hot against his skin so he threw them off and banished them to the end of the bed. When the cool air hit his body he realized his state.

"Please, God, tell me Louis didn't sleep in this bed last night," Harry grumbled to the ceiling.

"I did."

Harry looked to where Louis had just walked in. He smiled and then realized he was laying there naked while Louis looked on.

Harry quickly grabbed a handful of sheets and pulled them over himself.

"Hmm, sad. You didn't need to do that," Louis said as he casually slipped off his Vans and traded them for fluffy socks.

"I just, I'm not, I don't-"

"It's okay, baby. I was kidding. I mean was I wasn't lying," Louis busied himself with picking up his dirty clothes. "You're beautiful and shouldn't be ashamed of it. But you don't have to be naked in front of me if you don't want."

Harry thought about it before scooting to the end of the bed and letting the sheet fall off of him.

"Lou?" Louis turned back to Harry and smiled. "Come here."

Louis dropped the clothes in his hands and stepped over the pile to Harry. Harrys legs spread just enough to let Louis stand between them.

Harry put his fingers on Louis' waist under his shirt. He traced the line of his v-cuts back and forth. Harry loved the feel of Louis' sun-kissed skin under his touch.

He trailed a little higher, running a hand over Louis' abs and rucking his shirt up. Harry leaned in a kissed the small pocket at the bottom of Louis' stomach.

Louis confessed that he hated it and that he's just recently started to gain it back, but Harry just wanted to sink his teeth into the soft skin. Leave marks for everyone to see.

He ran his thumb across Louis' nipples and felt Louis shiver under his lips. The bud hardened almost instantly with the attention.

"Lou?" Harry said between kisses.

"Yes, baby," Louis said breathily.

Harry looked up and saw that Louis was looking down at him. "I don't want to say it yet, because I know it's too soon, but until we're ready I just want you to know that I feel strongly for you."

Louis' hand gripped Harry's shoulder but he didn't push him away so Harry kept going. "I'm not saying those words yet. I'm just letting you know that between now and then and I do feel that. Even if I don't say it. Even if I seem scared. Or flaky. I feel those feelings for you." Harry placed another soft peck to Louis' stomach.

"You don't have to say it. Don't say it until you're absolutely sure. I know how I feel. Even if I don't say it" Louis put his arms around Harry's shoulders. "The first day of class I couldn't take my eyes off you. Every date I went on with Niall I thought about you. Every study session and homework night I had to literally kick myself to focus on anything but you." Harry stood up and pressed their bodies together. "It's been building for months now, darling. And now you're here. With me."

"Naked," Harry added helpfully.

Louis laughed. "Gloriously, blissfully naked."

Harry rested his head on Louis' shoulder. "Thank you."

"For what, love?"

"For being perfect."

"I'm not perfect, Harry. You have to know that. But you do make me better."

"You're perfect for me."

Louis rested his head on Harry's and closed his eyes peacefully. "And you for me."

Harry's stomach chose that moment to growl at them like a wild animal.

"Hungry?" Louis asked.

"A bit," Harry admitted.

"Well you've slept away most of the day so it's no wonder. We'll have an early dinner and go see what the boys want to do tonight."

Harry nodded on Louis' shoulder but did let him go.

"I don't mind you're flawless body, but the others might, so you'll have to get dressed before we go out there."

"Not yet. Stay here with me for a minute."

How could Louis refuse that?

Chapter Text

"Faster, Payno. We have to finish before Harry wakes up," Louis urged.

"Tommo, chill. There's no way he knows," Liam reasoned.

"I know, I know. I just don't," Louis trailed off.

"What?" Liam put the last light in the ground and crouched beside Louis.

Louis kept fidgeting with the blanket. "I don't want him to wake up without me next to him," Louis practically whispered.

"Oh God," Liam tried to keep from laughing. "You are whipped! Like fucking cream, my friend." Liam stood up.

Louis followed. "I am not!"

Liam did laugh now. "Are you!"

Louis tried to be angry. But the idea didn't seem like a bad one to him. He'd be whipped by Harry any day. And yes you can take that however you choose.

"So what?"

Liam put his hands out in surrender. "It's fine. It's just-wow. I'd never of thought. Does Harry even know who gone you are?"

Louis shook his head. "I don't know. I haven't exactly been candid."

"Well hopefully he gets how huge this is. You've changed so much in a couple months."

"For the better I hope."

"I think so."

Louis smiled to himself. Of course Harry makes him better, he knew that.

"Can we hurry up? I wanna get back."

"To your boyfriend," Liam mocked.

"Not my boyfriend. Not yet."

"Well after tonight that'll all change."

"Yeah," Louis tried not to think of the weight of it. His first real boyfriend. Real relationship.

Liam seemed to notice the hesitation. "Hey, Lou, you don't have to be scared. You picked a good one I think."

Louis knew Liam was right. He'd never find a better someone than Harry. "I did."

They two finished setting up what they could for tonight. Later Zayn and Liam would come back and set up the rest. Then Louis would convince Harry to go with him and they'd have a beautiful dinner at Harry's favorite place.



"Harry, babe, are you okay?" Louis practically yelled when he saw Harry leaning over the toilet.

Another gut wrenching sound came from the bent over boy. Louis ran to him and pushed his Harry out of his face.

After another few minutes of awful sounds Harry sat back on his heels and tried to breathe.

"I'm fine, Lou. You don't have to be here."

Louis barked out a laugh. "Right, like I'm going anywhere."

Harry gave Louis a side glance and then ducked his head into the toilet for another round.

They stayed like that for what must have been hours. Liam brought Harry water. Louis had Niall call the number on the fridge of the hospital for the address.

Louis went and packed a jacket and change of clothes for Harry, while Zayn went and got the car. Liam carried Harry in his arms to it and gently sat him down in the back seat.

Harry's face was pale and sweaty. His breathing was uneven. Louis was freaking out. He ran to the car with the bag of clothes and slid in next to Harry.

The other got it but Louis called out, "Liam get a trash bag or something before you get in!"

Liam ran inside and came back with the entire roll of trash bags in his hand. He ripped one off and handed it to Louis.

Louis pulled Harry to him and pet his head soothingly. "You're gonna be okay. You're okay," he repeated again and again.

The hospital was at least a good twenty-five minutes away. Harry had puked twice in that time. Each time Liam held the bag and Louis held Harry.

When they got there Zayn dropped them off at the door and went to park. Liam ran ahead to get a nurse. Niall and Louis carried a now nearly unconscious Harry past the sliding doors to the front desk. A nurse was waiting with a wheel chair.

She sat him down and took him away and another nurse came up. "What happened?"

"He, um, he's been puking all morning and he can't breath," Louis voice was shaking and he tried to steady it. "He's gotten weaker in the past few hours. Can't, he can't even keep his eyes open," Louis felt the tears before he knew he was crying.

Liam wrapped his arm around him and continued for him. "He's been practically unconscious for the last twenty minutes. He can't stand on his own."

"Was it sudden?"

"Yeah, he was fine last night."

Louis let out a sob into Liam's shoulder.

"We'll take him for tests. I need you fill out some paperwork for him, please. The receptionist will get you all sorted out."

"Thank you."

"What's his name?" the nurse asked quickly.

"Harry," Louis squeaked.

"Harry," the nurse said gently and ran off.

Chapter Text

Louis was grinding a trench into the hospital floor. He'd been pacing for hours now, waiting for news. Liam and Zayn were huddled together. Zayn was gripping Liam's hand. Niall sat in a ball in chair with his head against his knees.

He's okay. He'll be okay. He has to be okay.

Louis pushed his hands into his eyes.

I haven't even told him I love him.

"Liam Payne?" they heard called from the front desk.

Liam and Louis ran to the woman. "Yes? That's me," Liam answered.

"Do you know the number for," the nurse looked down at the paperwork Liam had filled out while Louis was balling, "Harry's parents?"

Liam looked to Louis then back to the woman. "I don't actually."

"Alright that's fine, we'll get it. Thank you."

"Wait. I, um, I have Uncle Ben's number from the fridge," Louis remembered.

"That would be perfect."

Louis gave the woman the number and waited while she called.

"Yes, hi. This is Helena calling from the county hospital. Are you related to a Mr. Harry Styles?" Louis heard a voice raise on the other end. "We have him here under going some tests. But, sir, I need to get ahold of his parents." She got the numbers she needed and hung up.

"You boys can have a seat. Thank you."

Louis wanted to climb over the cheap plastic desk and tackle the fucking nurse that was just doing her job.

"Can you tell us anything?" Louis pleaded.

"I can't. I'm sorry. The doctor will be out to speak with his parents as soon as they arrive."

"So we can't know anything because we're not related?" Louis' voice was rising.

Liam put a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, ma'am," he said to the nurse and pulled Louis with him to the seats.

"It's not fucking fair. I can't do this! I need to see him."

"I know." Liam hugged Louis. "Soon. We won't leave until you get to see him okay?"

Louis nodded into Liam's shirt. "I don't know what happened. He was fine yesterday. And now he's here. And I swear I saw blood in the toilet. And I don't know-"

"Lou, calm down. Harry will be fine."


"Where's my son?" a high-pitched voice shouted a few feet away at the check-in desk.

The boys were still waiting in their chairs. It'd been another couple of hours. Louis recognized the famous face as a senator from their state and knew it had to be Harry's mom.

"Ma'am calm down. What's the name?"

"Harry, um, Harry Styles. Please, I got a call he was here. What's going on?"

"Yes ma'am your son is here," the woman turned and motioned for a nurse to come over, "This is Sam. She'll take you to your son."

The nurse led the woman, and a man that had been silent but had a hand on the woman's back, down the hall away from Louis.

"Those are Harry's parents?" Niall asked.

"I guess so," Liam answered.

"They're intimidating. Did you see them? Suits and shit," Zayn commented.

"I know, right? No wonder Harry's such a straight-laced kid," Niall offered.

"I have to know what's going on," Louis said and stood up.

Liam grabbed his wrist. "Wait. You can't just go in there."

"Watch me," Louis said and yanked his hand away.

He walked quickly following the nurse and Harry's parents down the hall. They kept going around the corner and a few doors down.

The nurse motioned for them to go in ahead of her and she followed. Louis waited until they were inside and went to put his ear against the door.

"Mr. and Mrs. Twist, your son had an ulcer on his stomach lining that ruptured this morning," Louis heard a man's voice, must be the doctor, "It was fairly large. It was bleeding into his stomach. We were told that he was fine last night and woke up this morning feeling ill. We did a few non-invasive tests and found what we call a silent ulcer. It's unnoticeable. It's fine, until it isn't."

"What now?" Robin asked.

"We took him for surgery. We couldn't wait. We stopped the bleeding and removed what was left of the ulcer. He's stable but in a medicated coma. We want to keep him unconscious at least for a day or so to keep his stress levels low during this crucial time."

"Is he going to be okay?" Anne asked.

"He did very well in the surgery. But he'll have a bit of a recovery time. Pain medication. Things like that."

"But in the long run, he'll be fine," Robin demanded.

"Yes, sir, I believe so."

Anne was sniffling now. Trying not to cry.

"Madame Senator, your son is in good hands. His recovery will be swift. I promise."

The door opened and Louis quickly turned away and started walking slowly down the hall.

He found the other still huddled together. Niall jolted upright in his seat when he saw Louis. "And?" he said.

"He had an ulcer in his stomach that ruptured," Louis inhaled shallowly, "They took him for surgery and he's stable." Louis collapsed into the chair. The others looked visibly relieved. "I didn't even get to see him."

They heard sobs and looked up to see Robin and Anne in another corner of the waiting room.

"Go see him," Liam whispered resolutely.


"Now, before his parents go back in there," Liam explained.

"I can't. I'm not family."

"His parents are over there. Everyone else is letting him rest, I'm guessing. If you want to see him anytime soon, now is it."

Louis tried to see if Liam was serious. When he saw he was he nodded. Louis got up and walked as nonchalantly as he could back down the hall to Harry's room.

The door was cracked already so Louis peaked in. It was empty except for the still boy on the bed. Louis slipped inside and shut the door.

Chapter Text

Louis went to the bed and looked down at the still, pale face below him. Harry's eyes were closed and his mouth was parted slightly, breathing lightly.

Louis wanted to kiss him so bad, but he figured that was bad form. So instead he kissed his cheek and whispered in his ear, "I should've told you a hundred times by now, I love you."

Harry's heart rate beeped faster for a minute before settling down again. Louis took Harry's hand and held it gently. "I had this whole romantic picnic under the waterfall planned for tonight. A blanket. Music. I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend." Louis let the tears flow freely now. "I should've asked the moment I met you. Now you'll be stuck here. And then probably at home with your parents. And then we'll graduated. And I'll never get to be your boyfriend." Louis wasn't breathing anymore, just pushing the words out without air.

He used his free hand to comb through Harry's curls. "Please get better. I can't stand to see you like this. Not smiling. I love your smile. Your laugh. You. I love you." Louis laughed at himself. "Now that I've said it I can't stop."

The door creaked open and Louis quickly dropped Harry's hand. "You're not supposed to be in here," the nurse, Sam, scolded.

"I'm sorry. I just needed to see him. I'll go."

Sam nodded and opened the door wider for him to leave.

"He'll be fine," she said softly as he passed. Louis nodded without looking at her and kept walking.

When he got back to the lobby the boys weren't in their seats. He did a scan and found them over by Harry's parents. Louis walked over and heard the middle of the conversation.

"Nothing out of the ordinary. He was fine yesterday. We even jammed together a little. Wrote a little something," Liam said fondly.

"That music stuff. I've told him it was a waste of time," Anne admonished.

"He slept fine?" Robin asked.

Instinctually the boys looked to Louis. Louis stuttered, "Yeah, yeah, fine."

"And who might you be, son?" Robin questioned.

"Louis, sir. A mate of Harry's from school. In his group with these lads."

"You were at the cabin too?"

"Yes, sir."

"And Harry was fine?"

Louis had to breathe deep to keep from breaking down again. "Yeah. Fine."

"I just don't get it," Robin wondered.

Anne was eyeing Louis, "You said he slept fine last night?"

"Yes, ma'am." Louis voice was shaking under the scrutiny.

"Did you sleep with him last night?"

Robin seemed taken back by the blunt question. The boys were frozen.

Louis tried to think. "We share the room with the two beds in the cabin, ma'am. As far as I could tell he was quiet all night." Louis didn't mention that Harry's mumbled Louis' name in his sleep last night. Or that he did so while he was being spooned by Louis.

Anne nodded curtly. "Alright, then."

"Can we see him?" Niall asked quietly.

Anne's face softened a little when she turned to him. Great, she likes Niall more than me already. "I don't think so, honey. Probably not until he's out of the ICU."

Niall nodded begrudgingly.

"Do you know when that will be?" Zayn asked.

"Probably not for another two days. He's unconscious anyway, so it wouldn't do any good to see him now," Robin answered.

"Will you call? When we can come see him. Please," Louis choked out.

"Of course. But I don't think you can all go in at once," Robin admitted.

"That's fine. I just need-I would like to see him when he wakes up. If you don't mind," Louis ran a hand through his hair.

"We'll call," Anne stated.

Louis ignored her tone and thanked them. The boys walked back out of the hospital and got in the car. Louis finally broke again.

Niall scooted over and hugged him. "Harry's going to be fine."

"I know," Louis sniffed. "It's not that."

"Then what?"

"His mom knows! I swear she knows. Did you see the way she looked at me? Like I had 'I'm gay for your son' on my fucking forehead!" Louis worried.

"No way," Zayn opposed. "There's no way she knows."

"I don't know," Liam spoked out the window. "She did seem put off by you. When she asked if you slept with him. I don't think she meant in the same room."

"Liam," Zayn scolded.

"I knew it. Shit, Harry's family is going to disown him and we won't finish school because of me!"

"No. Come on. There's no way she can know. Even if she thinks she knows. She doesn't," Niall explained.

"But now there's no way I can be with him. He'll be surrounded by people until he recovers and his family will be watching me."

"Louis, don't get worried about something that hasn't happened yet." Liam had finally turned away from the window. "Right now can we focus on Harry?"

Louis immediately felt bad. "God, yeah. Of course. Forget about all that. Let's go back and get his stuff ready for when his parents call."

"Are you wanting to stay at the cabin?" Zayn asked.

"It's the closest to the hospital. My place is forever away."

"Ok. We'll stay and wait."

"We still have about a week of break left," Niall offered.

"Hopefully it'll pass quickly," Louis admitted, "I can't stay there without him for very long."

Chapter Text

It's been three days and no phone call. The day after the incident Louis was bouncing off the walls. Even cleaning stuff. The second day was got angry and yelled at everyone and then apologized forty times.

Today he was quiet. Hadn't gotten out of bed. Louis didn't know what time it was but the sun was blaring bright so he figured mid afternoon.

Liam opened the door quietly and whispered, "Lou?" Louis didn't respond. Not even a grunt. But Liam came in anyway. "Louis it's four o'clock. I think you should eat."

Louis pulled the blanket up over his shoulder. He'd slept in Harry's bed the first night. Needed the smell of him to get through. But now it felt wrong. Like being in his bed while he was sick was betrayal somehow.

So the past two night Louis slept in his own bed. Which is where Liam found him curled up, still wearing the same clothes as yesterday.

"Not hungry," Louis whimpered.

"How about a cuppa, then?" Liam offered.

That almost got him. A nice hot cup of tea to soothe away his worries. But he couldn't bring himself to move.

"They haven't call." Louis winced at how sad he sounded.

"They will," Liam reassured, but Louis could tell there was no force behind it.

"When?" he asked even though he knew Liam didn't know the answer.

"Soon," Liam answered immediately.

Louis appreciated the effort at least. He should stop making this about him and stop worrying the boys. "I think tea sounds good."

"Ok, great. I'll go make it."

"No. I'll do it." No offense but Liam couldn't make tea like Louis could. "Thanks though."

Liam left Louis to himself. Louis took a breath and slowly pulled the covers off himself. Step one.

Step two, he actually had to leave the bed.

Louis had one leg in a pair of pants when Liam came storming into his room.

"Harry's awake!"


The hospital was much quieter this time than when they'd first come in. But maybe that was because last time Louis' pounding heart was in his ears.

Robin was waiting for them when they walked through the doors. "Boys," he said as greeting.

"Mr. Twist," Liam respectfully replied.

With anymore preamble Robin starting walking down the hallway. "The doctor is going to tell you that it's only one at a time," Robin explained while walking ahead of them, "He'll probably only let a couple of you in today. The rest will have to wait."

"We understand. Thank you for letting us see him," Liam spoke for them.

Robin glanced over his shoulder where Louis was staring blankly at the floor in front of each step he took.

"Lewis, is it?" he didn't wait for a correction. "You don't seem...okay, son. Are you okay?"

Louis finally registered he was being spoken to and lifted his head. Robin must've seen the tears threatening to spill over because his face softened.

"You know he'll be okay. Just needs time to get better."

Louis just nodded and looked back to the ground.

When they got to Harry's room the door was half open and Anne was sitting in the chair next to the bed. The doctor was standing by the bed looking at Harry's chart.

Robin went into the room but the boys stayed at the doorway. Louis was hidden behind the others. He didn't know if he could handle it if Harry looked like he did a couple day ago.

"These are your friends, I assume," the doctor noted. Harry must've nodded because the doctor turned to them and spoke. "Alright boys. Only two visitors today. And one at a time. Try and keep it to around ten minutes each. Harry still needs a lot of rest."

Everyone nodded and moved away from the door so the adults could leave.

The boys all looked to Louis.

"What?" he said.

"Go on, Lou," Zayn prompted.

Louis shook his head. "I'm, I'm not ready."

"He'll want to see-" Liam started.

Niall interrupted, "I'll go first. Then you can go, okay Louis?"

Louis looked to Niall gratefully. "Yeah."

Niall walked into the room and closed the door. The rest of them sat in the chairs by the door, Zayn in Liam's lap because there were only two.

Louis rested his head in his hands. The world slowly turned black as he pushed his hands against his eyes. Next to him he heard Zayn leaving kisses on Liam's skin. He tried not to let it affect him.

Then Liam giggled and Louis couldn't handle it. "Jesus Christ, guys," Louis snapped and walked off without looking at them. He stomped down the hall the way he hadn't been yet.

Chapter Text

He wasn't sure how far he'd gone but nothing looked even relatively familiar now. Louis' skin was covered in a tiny layer of sweat and his breathing was coming faster.

Should've known. Should've fucking known! This is why I don't do real relationships. I don't pick someone. I don't fall in- he stopped himself. I don't. Because then you get attached and needy and then when it doesn't work out, you get hurt!

Louis had never been attached so he'd never been hurt. If this is what it feels like to be in-

he stopped again.

Then I don't want it!

Louis swiped his hand out to hit whatever was in his peripheral view, which happen to be a metal tray of medical supplies. It crashed to the ground with a loud ping.

Hearing the noise, a doctor came rushing out into the hallway.

"Are you alright?" she asked concerned.

Louis looked at her but didn't see her. He couldn't make his eyes focus on the face in front of him.

"No," he cried weakly, "Nothing is okay. My not boyfriend that I lo-," he shook his head, "I'll never get to be with him. Won't ever kiss him again. Probably won't even be alone with him again."

"Honey, you should sit down," the doctor led Louis to a chair and knelt in front of him. "I don't know what's going on but you should probably discuss it with your not boyfriend."

Louis did look at her then. "I can't."

"I know it's scary but-"

"No. I can't. Too many people watching," Louis whispered like they might hear him. "And nobody knows. His parents don't know," Louis dropped his head into his hands. "And they won't keep him safe if they know. And they're always around now 'cause he's hurt and sick and in this hospital that smells like death and I can't even hold his hand!"

By the end Louis was proper yelling at the woman.

"Hey, honey, I know this is hard but I need you to quiet down."

Louis looked around quickly before lowering his head again. "Sorry."

The doctor stayed quiet and just rubbed Louis' knees. "His parents are at his room now?"

"Yeah. Right outside."

"Maybe I can help."

Louis looked up with the tiniest hope in his eyes. "What?"

"Just go with me, okay?"


"Mr. and Mrs. Twist?"

The two well-dressed parents looked to where a woman was coming down the hall towards them.

"Yes?" Robin said like he wasn't sure.

"Dr. Mars sent me. He wants a few more things settled before we go any further with Harry's recovery. Paperwork mostly, but if you could follow me."

"But Harry-"

"Is fine. I'll have a nurse stay right here," she pointed one out and waved him over, "Nurse Leo with stay right here and you'll be back in a few minutes."

Niall had long since rejoined the others outside and they were all glancing between each other confused.

"Um, okay," Anne nodded unsure.

The three walked down the hall toward the receptionist's desk. They turned the corner just as Louis walked up.

"Where have you been?" Liam pressed. "You just missed the weirdest thing."

"Keep an eye out for me. If they come back knock twice," Louis instructed and entered Harry's room leaving behind a confused group of friends.

It was silent in here compared to the buzz of the hospital. Harry's eyes were closed but he wasn't breathing even and he wasn't making little noises like he did when he was asleep.

"Harry," Louis whispered.

Harry's eyes shot open and he tried to sit up but pain shot through him and he laid back down. He reached out a hand though, and Louis rushed forward and took it.

"Oh, God, baby I was so scared," Lpuis kissed Harry's hand, "You scared the shit out of me," Louis rambled trying not to cry again.

"Parents?" Harry mouthed.

"Gone for now. Just the boys outside. I need to say some stuff."

Harry nodded. Louis prepared himself with a sigh.

"I need you to get better. To be all better so you can graduate from school and go on to do something great. Whatever that is," Louis added quickly. "You have a recovery ahead of you and you need your family with you. I bet they're already talking about moving in with you for the rest of the year."

Harry tried to hide his face and Louis knew he was right.

"And they'll stay with you everyday until you're good again. And then you'll graduate and go off to be the amazing man I know you are."

"Louis," Harry started but Louis cut him off.

"Lemme finish. I don't want you to lose your schooling so close to the end. Lose your apartment and car and everything. Which means I can't be with you as long as your parents are around." Louis was crying now, but only silently. A few tears trickling so slow he didn't even notice.

"I can't take away your life. So I'm promising right now to never bother you again. You're not attached in any way. You're not mine," he choked on that realization, "You're free and I need you to use that to do something good, okay."

"Are you breaking up with me?" Harry murmured.

"We weren't together, Harry." Louis said the line he's said so many times, to so many people, but this time it really felt like a lie.

"Maybe not yet, but I heard you a couple days ago. If I hadn't of come here we'd be boyfriends right now."

Louis closed his eyes in denial. "You heard me? That's not possible."

"And Louis?" Louis opened his eyes and saw Harry smiling up at him. "I love you, too."

Chapter Text

Louis was speechless. Harry was in an induced coma. There's no way- but he did. He heard about the date and he heard Louis say he loved Harry.

"I know you're scared," Harry whispered and brought Louis' hand to his face for a kiss, "but I'm not."

Louis shook his head doubtfully.

"I'm not," Harry reaffirmed. "I was, but now I'm not. I was so scared Louis. I was in pain and bleeding and all I could think about was you."

Louis' face filled with pain and adoration and he swallowed his tears down.

"I still can't, I can't, tell my parents. I need to finish school. But I'm not scared of how I feel. I love you, Lou."

Louis wanted to run back out into the hall and scream his excitement to all the sick people.

Instead he leaned in and kissed Harry's forehead. "I love you too. So much. I was scared to, Harry." Louis pulled back with regret on his face. "I'm still scared. I love you, but I can't have you."

"I know it'll be hard, but I need you Lou. I can't do this, my life, without you."

"What about your family, who are in this hospital somewhere?"

"I don't know." Harry was sweating a little under the pressure.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. We'll figure it out," Louis squeezed Harry's hand. "Until then, rest. You need it."

"Don't leave me Lou," Harry worried.

"I have to leave for now but I'll be back as soon as I can."

"I mean during this whole thing. Don't leave me. I need you."

"You underestimate my ability to be without you," Louis smirked.

Harry smiled but it wasn't sincere.

Knock knock.

"Shit, that would be your parents coming back." Louis captured Harry's lips quickly and spoke against them, "I love you. That's all that matters. I love you."

Louis heard the door creak open and he dropped Harry's hand and moved to a respectable distance.

"Oh, you," Anne noticed.

"Mom. This is Louis."

"Yeah, dear. We've met," Anne gave a barely cordial nod. "I think it's time you let Harry rest."

"Of course, ma'am," Louis said overly sweet while he tried not to ring the woman's neck.

Louis took one more look back at Harry and smiled before exiting the room. In the hall was the very helpful doctor and the boys. They all looked at him like they expected a recap of what happened in there.

"It's fine. We're fine," he said plainly.

The doctor seemed happy enough with that. She patted Louis' shoulder and walked off to do real work.

The boys however were less convinced.

"What happened?" Liam asked quietly.

"Nothing happened," Louis retorted.

"So you just went in there and stood looking at each other until I knocked," Niall questioned.

"Maybe?" Louis knew the boys were just trying to help, but we was getting defensive without meaning to.

"If you say so Lou," Zayn accepted. He grabbed Liam's arm and led him to sit down so he could sit in his lap. He gave Niall a pointed look telling him to let it go for now. Niall rolled his eyes and took the other seat.

Louis rubbed his temples. "Can we go? I need to get out of here."

"Yeah, sure," Liam agreed.

The four filed out of the hospital and to the car. Liam took diver's and Louis sat in the passenger's seat, while Zayn and Niall sat in back.

The drive was long, or so it seemed. But maybe that was thanks to all the terrible scenarios running through Louis' head.


Louis went to see Harry one other time during the break because it was the only day his parents decided to go home and clean up and rest.

He got a call from the hospital saying Harry wanted to see him. He was dressed and at the hospital in twenty flat.

He basically threw open the door to Harry's room. "Haz!"

"Shhh," Harry laughed. "Sick people, remember?"

Louis feigned remorse and closed the door. As soon as it was shut Harry was out of bed and attacking Louis' face with kisses.

"I missed you so much," he spoke between kisses.

Louis tried to keep up and finally found Harry's lips with his. He forced Harry to slow down and really kiss him. They moved together sweetly.

Louis breathed in the familiar scent of Harry, only slightly dampened by the smell of the hospital.

"I missed you, too," Louis finally said.

They pulled back enough to see each other but didn't loosen their grip on each other.

"I've only been here a week and I already want to kill myself."

"You wouldn't dare. I'd be so mad."

Harry smiled. "Only a couple more days and I get to go home. I should only miss like a week of school when I get home. You'll have to keep me updated."

"Yeah. I'll just do all the cute things like bring your homework home and take extra notes for you."

Harry put his head on Louis' shoulder. "Like a boyfriend would?" Harry asked shyly.

"I, uh, I guess, yeah," Louis said lamely.

"Would you do other nice things if you were my boyfriend?" Harry didn't take his face out of Louis' shoulder.

Now or never.

"How about you let me be your boyfriend and we'll find out."

Harry's head popped up and his eyes were literally sparkling. "Really?"

"Harry, I would absolutely love to be your boyfriend, if you'll have me."

Harry didn't even say anything he just wrapped his arms tight around Louis' neck and kissed him.

Chapter Text

"Mom, please. I can get it. I'm not handicapped," Harry whined.

He'd been back at his apartment for a couple days now. His parents were staying in the guest room and they were being nothing if not smothering.

"Harry you just had surgery. Let me get it."

Harry put a hand up towards her. "I am fine. I will get it."

He got up from the couch and went to get a bottle of water from the fridge. "I wish you would just let us take care of you, Harry."

"I don't need you to. I'm on house arrest. Full fridge. Like four thousand channels." Harry gulped down his drink. "You don't even need to be here."

Harry knew he was being harsh. In any other circumstance he'd of loved to be waited on by his parents who rarely ever took care of him directly. But he hadn't seen Louis in days. Barely texted because Louis was always sending 'pictures' and cheeky things and Anne was always sitting right there.

They'd talked on the phone once when Harry went to 'take a shower'. But he hadn't kissed him, hugged him, much less anything else in days or weeks.

He'd just landed his first boyfriend ever! And look at him! Older, handsome, funny, perfect ass. But he can't even see him.

This officially sucked. So yeah, he was being a bit harsh. But can you blame him?

"Harry Edward. Your father and I are very busy people. But we have taken time out to take care of you. You should show a little appreciation."

Harry nodded guiltily. "I know. I'm sorry. But you are busy. And I'm fine. I'll take it easy. You really don't need to temporarily live with me."

"Maybe he's right, dear," Robin spoke up.

"What do you mean?" she asked dumbfounded.

"He's a grown man. And honestly his recovery involves sleeping mostly. And I'm in the middle of a huge partnership right now. You've been working on that committee."

Anne was looking more and more bewildered as Robin went on.

"All I'm saying is if Harry doesn't want us here," he turned to Harry, "no offense taken, son. Then maybe it's fine for us to go back home."

"Mom. Can we make a deal? How about I have someone come check on me everyday. Twice a day even. Until I'm healed. I have to get my homework and everything anyway."

Anne seemed to think it over. "Not that Louis boy. I don't like him. Bad seed I can tell." Harry practically cringed. "How about that Niall kid? He seems very nice."

Harry nodded shortly. "Niall. Sure. I know he'll do it."

Anne was pacing. "I don't know."

"Mom. Please. I need some peace and quiet."

Anne looked from Harry to Robin and back. "Fine," she submitted, "But I swear Harry, anything goes wrong. Anything. You call immediately." Anne went and hugged Harry's head to her chest.

Harry was surprised at first by the affection. Anne hadn't been so maternal since him great gram died when he was young.

"I promise, Mom."

Robin was already in the guest room packing up the small cases they'd brought with them. "Harry," he called from the room.

Harry went down the hall, while Anne collected her jackets from the closet by the door.


"Please be careful."

Harry came in and sat on the bed. "I will, I swear. Sleeping mostly, like you said."

"That's not what I meant, Harry."

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, confused.

"Make sure, when Niall," he emphasized the name, "comes over that you don't do anything dumb. You may not think so Harry but you're still very sick. And your mom is going to want updates. Pictures even."

Harry bit on his lip. Was Robin eluding to Louis? Did he know? If so, why hasn't he said something.

Finally Harry chose a safe answer, "Of course, Robin. He'll only be here for a couple minutes a day anyway."

Robin looked at Harry for a minute then nodded acceptingly.

"Alright, then," he finished folding his shirts just so. "I hope to hear from you soon." He picked up his case and Anne's. Harry went to reach for one to help but Robin pulled it away. "Now that. Don't push yourself. Rest Harry."

Harry huffed but nodded.

"Robin, don't forget my jewelry," Anne called from the living room.

Harry went the dresser and grabbed the rather large bag of sectioned off jewelry. Robin eyed Harry but let him carry it anyway.

Within ten minutes his parents were in the car, pulling off, Harry smiling behind them.


"Lou, get your perfect ass over here, right now," Harry demanded into the phone. He was sitting on his bed, sipping applesauce from a little plastic cup.

"Where are your parents?"

"Home. Or on their way. I convinced them to leave!"

"Harry. That wasn't smart. You need someone there with you. You're laying down, right? Drinking plenty of water?" Louis was suddenly concerned.

"Yes, Louis. I'm following all the rules. Only water and tea. Soft foods. I walked for five minutes around my apartment earlier."

"Good, good," Louis sounded relieved.

"Plus, I will have someone here with me."

"Who? I bet they asked Niall to stay with you." Harry could tell Louis was jealous and a little hurt.

"They did actually. But I have someone better in mind."

Louis could see Harry's smiled through the phone. "I'll be there in fifteen."

Chapter Text

Harry was bouncing in front of the elevator waiting for the ping. When he heard it he actually squealed a little.

The two doors slid open and there he stood. Tousled hair, black-rimmed glasses, shiny blue eyes, wide smile. Louis got exactly half a step in the apartment before Harry lunged at him.

"Oof. Hi there, babe," Louis greeted with a laugh. "Miss me?"

"More than you can imagine." Harry smiled into his neck.

When Louis realized Harry wasn't letting go he dropped his bag and wrapped his arms around his boy. Harry instantly melted into the hold.

"I missed you too, sweetheart."

Louis squeezed tighter before letting go. Harry pulled back but kept his hands around Louis' waist.

He was smiling so mischievously Louis had to ask, "What?"

"What do you wanna do tonight?"

Louis smirked. "Well I know Big Brother's on tonight. I love that show." Louis shrugged. "Or I could work on the last of the homework Prof gave us over break."

"Louis," Harry whined. "Not what I mean!"

"Then what did you mean, love?"

Harry crinkled his nose at Louis' stubbornness.

"Louis you always do this to me. You know what I want."

Louis' face actually turned serious and he bent down to grab his bag. "I don't, Harry." He walked down the hall to Harry's room.

Harry looked after him. Well even if Louis was turning him down at least he planned to sleep in the same room.

"What does that mean?" Harry said and followed Louis to his room. He caught up to him and Louis was pulling out a pair of shorts to sleep in.

His shoes were by the dresser and his glasses were on top. If sent a small rush through Harry to have Louis' things around his home.

Louis dropped the shorts on the bed and went to pull off his shirt. "I don't know what you want, Harry. I have to ask. I tease or flirt so I don't seem like an idiot, because I don't, and you're," Louis sighed.

Harry tried to pay attention but Louis was standing there shirtless. His shoulders flexed slightly when he tossed his shirt on his bag.

Louis turned to face him and Harry's eyes snapped to an appropriate level. Louis gave Harry a knowing look but continued. "I know you're still not ready. And you're new to all this," he ran a hand across his fringe, "I just don't know how far I can go. And you just had surgery. You should be laying down. I should lay you down," Louis caught himself mid ramble and laughed at his use of words. "Not like-never mind."

"Lou, stop." Harry closed the space between them and held Louis' face in his hands. "Stop talking," he said before kissing him.

Louis' eyes went wide for a second before falling closed. Their chests rocked against each other while they fought with each other's mouths.

"You don't have to know. We'll figure it out," Harry encouraged.

Louis looked at Harry with what he was sure was love in his eyes and then took to his neck. He licked the smooth, pale skin and trailed his lips up, right under Harry's chin.

Louis bit down on the sensitive skin and Harry pushed into Louis' mouth and groaned.

"I can't wait to figure it out," Louis whispered.

"Then don't."

Harry slipped a hand under Louis' waist band and pulled him down on top of him onto the bed. Louis reached out his hands and caught himself, inches from Harry's face.

"Please don't push me, Harry. You have to be aware of how far we can go before I won't stop."

"I'll be good. I promise."

Louis shuddered listening to his words. "Promise you'll be good, huh?" Harry nodded happily. "Then don't move. Don't touch me. I want you to lay there, still as you can."

Harry was hard in his pants and eager to see what Louis had planned. He dropped his hands from Louis and put them out beside him on the bed.

"Good boy," Louis praised.

Louis took to work removing all of Harry's clothes. He threw them all in the same direction as his shirt. He thinks. He couldn't really tell because he was a little distracted by Harry's flushed pink cock laying on his stomach.

"Lou," Harry whined.

"Yes, Haz?" Louis ran a hand across Harry's chest.

"It's not fair."

Louis forehead creased, "What's not?"

"You still have clothes on."

Louis laughed at Harry's logic and pulled his pants past his his hips to his knees. His dick bobbed in the air. Harry watched the movement with hooded eyes.

Louis leaned forward over Harry and pushed his pants the rest of the way off and onto the floor. He rolled his hips down and just barely brushed against Harry's hard on.

Harry's hand flinched and lifted off the bed, but he caught himself and gripped the sheet instead.

"Good boy, Harry."


"Yes, love?"

"No," Harry turned his face into the sheets. "I want, mmm, can you try," he cut off.

"Tell me what you want, Harry you have to talk to me."

"Can you call me baby!" he finally spit out.

"What?" Louis sounded awed.

Harry's face was bright red and he was still hiding in the sheets. Louis balanced on one arm and turned Harry's face to him.

"Talk to me, Harry," Louis prompted.

"I can't," Harry whined.

"You can."

They looked at each while Harry decided what to say. He bit his lip then said, "I like your nicknames. I like Haz and sweetheart and love, but I want you to, uh, call me your baby."

Louis didn't know exactly what to say. He moved his hand from Harry's face, down his neck, chest, stomach, past his cock, between his cheeks to the soft skin right next to his perineum.

Harry made a high-pitched noise in his throat and threw his head back. Louis kissed his chest and saw it get more and more red.

"You're so pretty like this, baby," Louis spoke against his nipple. He took the small bud into his mouth and flicked it against his teeth with his tongue.

"Louis! Please," Harry moaned and pushed his ass toward Louis' hand.

Louis gripped underneath Harry's thigh and pushed him back a couple inches. "No, Harry. You can't, you can't move, dammit."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to," Harry quickly apologized. "I've never had someone," he nodded towards Louis' hand, "touch me there before." He shook his head, "I wasn't expecting the way it felt."

Louis couldn't help but adore this innocent boy laying under him. "How does it feel?"

Harry looked confused. "You've never? I thought you-"

"No I have. But I want to know how you feel."

Harry looked at each of Louis' features. His eyes were genuine, his cheeks highlighted with pink, his mouth making small movements like he wanted to say more but he wanted to wait for Harry.

"Feels really good."

Louis smiled lovingly at the answer. "What else,"he said and moved his palm across Harry's thigh to his ass.

Harry's cheeks flexed but he kept his body still. "I feel hot."

"What else, baby?" He gripped Harry's cheek in his hand and pulled so air caressed inside his crack.

Harry knuckles were white in the sheets now. He had to squeeze his eyes tight to keep from bucking back into Louis' hold. He felt a small well of liquid on his stomach and knew he was leaking now.

"Closer, please," Harry squeaked.

"Not enough, Harry. What do you want?"

Harry hated that he couldn't just show Louis what he wanted. His whole body was wound tight and he couldn't form proper thoughts. "Need you closer."

"Me closer?" Louis asked stubbornly and lowered so he was resting on his forearm and their chests were grazing.

"No, yes, yes, but no. Your, your hand, Louis."

Louis started messaging the flesh between his fingers and smirked. "This hand?"

Harry nodded so hard his curls were bouncing wildly. "Closer."

"To what, babe?"

Harry groaned out loud at Louis' perpetual need to tease. "Fuck, Lou, I want your hand on my hole, please, Louis."

Louis bit Harry on the shoulder and gave Harry what he wanted. He wedged a couple fingers between his cheeks and rubbed slowly across Harry's entrance.

Harry's hands shot from their position beside him to Louis' back where he dug his nails in. Louis moaned but sat back, making Harry's hands fall, and used his free hand to hold Harry down by the hip.

"Don't touch. Let me touch you," Louis warned.

"Yes, sir," Harry whispered.

Louis' hand froze for just a second and his mind completely blanked. But he couldn't go there just yet. He couldn't delve into how submissive Harry was being or he'd never do this right.

So he filed the moment away, along with the ever present hair-pulling moan.

He circled his fingers lightly around the muscle. He felt Harry's hole twitch and he closed his eyes, imagining how that would feel around his aching cock.

"Harry," Louis said suddenly.

Harry forced his eyes to open and said, "Yes, Lou?"

"I'm not going to put my fingers in you tonight." He saw Harry visibly deflate at the news. "But," he added quickly, "I've got something in mind I think you'll like better."

Harry nodded, "Whatever you want. Please, anything, Lou!"

Louis' hand moved away and Harry made a disappointed sound. Louis laughed at his cuteness and shuffled down to kiss his chest. He only spent a second or two on Harry's now bright red nipples before sliding down so his face was level with Harry's cock.

A blowjob. Okay, fine, that works. I mean it's not his fingers but I'm not complaining, Harry thought.

Louis kissed the base of his cock. Harry twitched next to Louis' cheek. He moved to Harry's tight balls and sucked one into his mouth.

Harry's leg muscles tensed but he kept still. Louis rolled the sack around on his tongue and pulled it gently away from Harry's body. He let it fall out of his mouth with a pop and slap against his other one.

He nosed against them and kissed just underneath them. Then he kissed just underneath that, lower and lower, until his lips were siting right above Harry's hole.

He brought his hands to Harry's ass and pulled him apart to get better access. He kissed the edge of his hole lightly and Harry moaned.

"You're doing so good, baby. Don't forget to stay still for me," Louis breathed against him.

"I'll try," Harry choked.

That's all Louis could really ask for.

He pushed his mouth against the tender skin and sucked on the rim. He pulled on his edges with his lips.

Louis cock was rubbing against the sheets and he was focusing very hard on not rutting one into the bed.

His tongue swirled around the tight muscle in loose circles. Harry probably thought he was keeping still but Louis could feel the little rhythmic circles of Harry's ass against his mouth.

Louis pushed his tongue against Harry's hole and felt in tightened. "Relax, baby. You have to open up for me."

Harry didn't even realize he was clenching until Louis said something. He took several deep breaths and forced his limbs to relax into the bed.

Louis felt as Harry loosened up and took the opportunity to push the tip of his tongue past the tight ring.

"Mmm! Louis!" Harry yelled.

Louis smiled against him, causing his teeth to just barely scrape against the sensitive skin.

"Fuck, fuck, Louis," Harry mumbled.

Louis pushed his tongue in further and Harry clenched around him. He was so hot inside that Louis could barely stand it. He felt so smooth against his tongue.

Louis fucked his tongue in and out with shallow thrusts. Every time he went just a little bit deeper. Within a couple minutes he had his entire tongue buried in Harry's hole.

Harry was clenching and unclenching sporadically. He was moaning nonsense but it was muffled so Louis assumed he had his hand or arm over his mouth.

Louis reached down and took himself in his hand. He wouldn't need much but he did want to hear those beautiful noises a bit more clearly.

He slipped his tongue out, much to Harry's displeasure, and said, "I wanna hear you, baby. I wanna know how good it feels."

Louis shoved his tongue back it as far as he could and felt around for Harry's weak spot. A few well aimed licks and he felt the bump and Harry clench. He dragged his tongue across it slowly.

"Shit! Louis, oh my God! What the fuck? Yes, again, please. Again!" Harry was breathing hard now and making small whiny noises.

Louis' hand flew up and down his shaft. He loved the way Harry sounded right now. Felt drunk on it. He pressed his tongue flat against his prostate and kept it there, messaging it.

"Uh, uh, yes, yes, yes. Please!" Harry was just murmuring now. Little whispers and occasional shouts that Louis was reveling in.

Harry felt his stomach burn and screamed into his arm as he came all over his stomach, shooting hot cum all the way up his torso.

Louis kept licking and abusing Harry's sensitive prostate while Harry's head thrashed and his hands gripped his own thighs. Louis couldn't hold on and came into his hand and on the sheets.

He pulled his tongue out and kissed the red rim of Harry's entrance while he rode out the last waves of his orgasm. Louis moved up and fell on top of Harry.

Harry encompassed Louis in a tight hold and Louis felt Harry's cum between them. He brought his hand up to Harry's mouth and Harrys sucked off the cum that was left.

"Beautiful mouth, baby."

Harrys grinned and sucked harder on Louis' hand. Louis rolled them on their sides and pulled Harry close.

"I mean it, Harry. You're so beautiful."

Harry made a pleased sound and burrowed his head into Louis' neck. "That was incredible. I didn't even know you could do that. And then you touched something and fuck," Harry sounded light and airy describing it.

Louis laughed softly. "You're research didn't enlighten you?"

"I think you over estimated my researching skills. It was mostly big, muscled guys fucking skinny boys."

Louis rolled his eyes. "Porn. Not always so accurate."

"That's for sure. Porn never said that you could that," he said and squeezed Louis' side.

"Well it does actually. You just didn't get there yet. But hopefully now you won't need to. That spot by the way. It's called your prostate. And it is loads of fun."

"So much fun. I wasn't expecting it."

"How do you feel?"

"You mean besides tired and fucked?"

Louis laughed. "Cheeky tonight."

"Yes, sir." Harry mumbled. Before Louis could acknowledge that turn on Harry was up and off the bed. "Shower with me?"

Louis smirked and hopped up.

And maybe by shower they meant spend ten minutes cleaning up, twenty getting dirty again, and another ten cleaning up for real.

Chapter Text

Harry was walking on air the next few days. He was feeling better everyday, and the morning wake up calls from Louis helped a lot. He'd finally gotten used to taking his pain meds and antibiotics.

Niall came over last night and talked to his mom in the phone, assuring her Harry was doing to fine and being well taken care of. Harry punched his arm for that.

It was the last day of break and Louis came bounding into the kitchen where Harry was making lunch.

"Sweetheart?" Louis called.

"Yes, Lou?"

Louis hugged him from behind and rested his chin on his shoulder. Harry continued grabbing ingredients and seasonings to mix in to the stir fry for them.

"Wanna go out with me tonight?"

Harry stilled his movements and floundered for something to say.

"You know I want to, but I-"

"I know we can't like do anything in public. But come on, people aren't going to notice two guys just hanging out."

"Louis I don't know."

"Pretend we're just friends. Nothing more. Going to grab a bite and watch a movie."

Harry mulled it over in his head. His parents were far away now. There's no way they'd know if he was with Louis.

"Yeah, okay," Harry nodded without turning around. Louis squeezed him. "But," Harry amended, "we have to go to some macho action film. We can't be two straight guys going to see a romantic comedy."

Louis laughed into Harry's shoulder, "It doesn't really matter what movie we watch because I won't be watching it."

"No, no. Now," Harry turned to face Louis, "you can't do that. No funny stuff when we go out."

Louis tilted his head up and took a kiss. "I will try to contain myself but I'm not promising anything."

Louis left Harry in favor of the football match on TV.


"That was so good. Best chicken in town," Louis gushed.

"Dang good chicken, it's true," Harry added when in reality he still wasn't eating too much so he'd just had a salad.

They were waiting in line for their tickets. Some robot/alien battleship laser gun death movie was starting in ten minutes and Harry wanted candy. Those little sour squishy worms.

They got their tickets and Harry sort of ran to the concessions like a child. Louis couldn't help but smile at his idiot boyfriend.

"Those. No no those. The worms," he heard Harry saying as he walked up.

"And a carton of those chocolate things," Louis added.

The cashier rang it up and Louis payed. Harry offered for dinner and then again for the movie but Louis insisted that he was taking Harry on a date. I may not have a senator and a CEO for parents but I do alright, Haz.

Harry hated the stereotype of having rich parents. But Louis only teased him a little and other than that he never mentioned it.

They found their theatre and walked up the stairs to the back row. Louis wiggled his eyebrows and Harry swatted at him. The smile Louis cracked was just so cute Harry almost kissed him.


"This is the longest movie about nothing I've ever seen," Louis whispered.

"It's pretty shit," Harry agreed and ran his thumb across Louis' hand that he held.

"But you look great tonight," Louis complimented.

Harry blushed, "Thanks, babe. You look really good, too."

"Good enough to eat, actually," Louis said and bit lightly on Harry's shoulder.

Harry kept his eyes on the screen but he smiled a little. "Stop," he protested weakly.

"But you're just so tasty," Louis bit his neck this time.

Harry yelped quietly at the sudden contact. "Louis!" Harry whisper-yelled.

Louis just chuckled and put a hand to the other side of Harry's neck, bringing him closer.

To Harry's credit, he did resist for a whole two seconds before melting into Louis.

Louis sucked on Harry's neck, making sure that he left a light red mark in his wake. Harry groaned when Louis licked over the spot.

Louis moved his hand down from Harry's neck, over his chest, to his pants. He pushed the heel of his hand into Harry.

"Jesus, Lou," Harry said a little too loud.

"Shhh," Louis whispered. "Be quiet."

"Tell that to your hand," Harry quipped.

Louis laughed and pushed his hand down again. Harry's pants were getting uncomfortable now. Louis must've noticed because he unbuttoned the top of them.

"Louis, don't. We're in public," Harry panicked.

"Don't worry. No can see us," Louis soothed while he unzipped Harry's jeans.

He reached under the material and took Harry in his hand. Harry groaned low in his throat.

"Shh, Haz," Louis reminded.

Harry pinched his lips between his teeth and closed his eyes. Quiet, Harry, quiet.

Louis ran his hand smoothly up and down Harry, twisting at the tip. He moved his thumb over and ran it through Harry's slit.

"Shit!" Harry squealed.

"Can you shut the fuck up?" Someone called and turned around in their seat. "Harry?"

Louis pulled his hand out and Harry frantically buttoned his pants up.

"Shelia," Harry said with dread in his voice.

Chapter Text

"You're gay?!"

Harry put his hands out to quiet Shelia. "Please keep your voice down," he begged.

The three of them had left the theatre after she caught Louis with his hand in Harry's pants. Now they were standing at the end of the theatre hallway in a shady corner trying to settle this.

"I should've known you were gay," Shelia shook her head, "You're such a fucking prick. Do you hate yourself for it? Is that why you choked me?"

Harry heard Louis' gasp.

"I know. I can explain that. I'd never do that. I wa-"

"I don't care why you did it? You took me out, abused me, left me there, and now you're gay?"

Harry shh'd her again. She pursed her lips, frustrated.

"Please let me explain." Harry was pleading with his eyes that she'd give him a tiny chance.

She looked from Harry to Louis and back. "You have two minutes."

Harry breathed a sigh of relief and rushed out everything he could in two minutes. His denial, the drugs, his relationship with Louis, and ended with, "You can't tell anyone. My parents would disown me if they knew."

Shelia's eyes widen at that. "Really? Because you have a boyfriend?" Harry nodded. "Ok, Harry. I won't tell. But I can't say I'm not a little sore about what you did."

"I understand. And you don't know how bad I feel about it. It keeps me awake sometimes thinking about what I did to you."

Shelia gave him a pitiful look. "Don't do that. It wasn't your fault." She turned to Louis, "Louis?" He nodded a bit dazed by the past couple minutes. "You're in our class, right?" He nodded again. She turned back to Harry, "Doesn't talk much this one?"

"Actually he never shuts up." He rubbed Louis' arm, "You okay, Lou?" Louis nodded dumbly. "I think he's just a little shocked at someone catching us," Harry reasoned.

"Did you kiss her?" Louis whispered.

Harry looked confused but said, "I don't see wh-"

"Have you kissed her? Have you touched her?" Louis asked louder.

Harry reached for Louis but he flinched away.

"Hey, Harry's obviously not into me," Shelia commented.

"But you were. I remember that day in class. The way she," he gave Shelia a small unfriendly glance, "walked over and asked you out. You were drooling over her. God I wanted to hit her," he said to Harry.

"I was lying to myself, Lou. Trying to convince myself I was straight," he turned to Shelia, "And you're very pretty but, sorry." She shrugged it off and he turned back to Louis, "I love you. And I'm gay." Harry froze. Louis caught it and froze too.

That's the first time Harry has ever said he was gay. And it came so easily he almost didn't notice.

"I'm gay," he smiled, "And I love you. Those are two things that I know." Harry leaned his forehead against Louis'.

Shelia coughed quietly and drew their attention back. "Um, I'm going to go. Don't worry guys your secret's safe. But, um, remember you're in public and people are staring."

The boys looked around and saw a couple people giving them curious looks. No one they knew thank God.

Shelia kissed Harry on the cheek and walked off back into the theatre. Louis growled took hold of Harry by the arm and pulled him out of the theatre.

"Lou? Are you okay?"

But Louis didn't say anything. He just got in the car and they drove home in tense silence.

Louis still hadn't said a word by the time they reached Harry's apartment. They rode the elevator in silence. When the doors opened Harry was about to ask Louis what the hell was wrong but Louis pulled him forward to the couch and pushed him down so he was laying on his back on the leather.

"Mine," Louis gritted. He straddled Harry and gripped handfuls of his shirt. Louis ran his nails up Harry's body through the shirt and then ripped it off over his head when he reached the top.

Louis leaned down to whisper in Harry's ear. "You're my secret. Only I have had you. But now I find out the only other person that gets to know about us tasted you first?" Louis bit Harry's earlobe with his sharp teeth.

Harry moaned and shook his head. Louis sat back up. "No? No she didn't taste you first?" He looked at Harry with fire in his eyes.

Harry nodded weakly and said, "She did."

Louis growled and grabbed Harry's wrists. He pinned them above Harry's head and snarled, "Stay." Harry nodded compliantly. Louis kissed Harry's jaw, and then down his throat, where he bit hard and started sucking on the skin. He didn't stop until the skin was raw and Harry was whining. "Mine," he said again.

He started on another spot on the other side of his neck, closer to his collarbone. Harry was hard and wriggling beneath him. Louis pinned his hips down with forceful hands and kept going.

Within ten minutes Harry's neck was spotted and his forehead was wet with sweat. He was making tiny whiny noises but doing his best to stay still and quiet.

Louis reached down and unbutton his jeans. He unzipped and pushed them off onto the floor while Harry trying to keep his eyes focused on Louis' face.

Harry still had his hands above his head, gripping the arm of the couch. Louis pushed his hips down, showing Harry how hard he was.

He ran his hands over Harry's jean-covered hips, then up to his abs, where he dug his nails in and scratched, avoiding Harry's new scar from the surgery. Harry whined high in his throat and threw his head back.

"Mine," Louis repeated.

"Yours," Harry whispered.

Louis loved that. He rolled his hips again and dragged his blunt nails all the way up to Harry's shoulders.

He moved his body up so his legs were straddling Harry's chest. He slid his briefs past his butt and then off one leg and the other. His cock landed with a smack on his stomach and Harry eyed it eagerly.

"Louis," Harry pleaded.

Louis ran his fingers through Harry's hair. "Double tap on my leg if it's too much," he warned.

Harry nodded eagerly.

"I need you say okay. I have to hear it."

"Okay. Yes," Harry assented.

Louis quickly threw his shirt away and leaned over Harry's mouth. Harry opened his lips and looked up at Louis. Louis almost came just at the sight. His boyfriend, mouth open, eager to take his cock.

He gripped the base of his dick tightly to stave off the burning in his stomach and then lead his head to Harry's bright pink lips.

Harry sucked him in and started swirling his tongue over the tip. Louis' head fell back with pleasure and he pushed deeper into Harry's mouth.

Harry wasn't the most skilled Louis' had, but he kept his mouth tight and never stopped his tongue and Louis was losing it.

He leaned forward and gripped the arm of the couch for a better angle. Harry was still watching him with bright, willing eyes.

Louis choked out, "Relax your mouth," before pushing in to the back of Harry's throat. Harry sputtered but kept his eyes locked on Louis'.

Louis pushed again and Harry took it so well. Louis paused for just a moment to make sure Harry was okay, but when he did Harry lifted his head up to take him deeper.

Louis groaned, knowing this boy would be his death. Louis gripped a handful of those curls and held Harry's head down on the couch.

He rocked forward and pushed down again into Harry's throat. He felt that slow burn again and thrusted faster, fucking Harry's face.

Harry couldn't keep his eyes open and let them fall shut. He focused on the weight of Louis in his mouth, the occasional taste of precome in his throat. He was edging and knew he'd stain his jeans soon.

Louis fucked him hard and fast while Harry laid still and pliant. His thrusts were untimed and random as he felt himself peak. He buried his cock in the back of Harry's throat and came.

Harry swallowed as much as he could, his throat constricting around Louis as he did, only milking more from him. Louis pulled out and slumped over the back of couch.

He caught his breath for a minute before remembering, "Let me take care of you."

He backed down Harry's body as Harry said, "There's no need, Lou."

Louis reached his pants and felt the wet spot staining the front. "Fuck Haz, I can't believe that got you off."

Harry just blushed and finally brought his stuff arms down to cover his face. Louis quickly removed them and said, "No. It's hot, really hot."

Harry smiled shyly and puckered his lips, letting Louis know he wanted a kiss.

Louis leaned down and gave him one. He tasted himself on Harry's tongue. "I love you," he said.

"And I love you," Harry answered.

Chapter Text

"Welcome back!" Lindon called out to the class. "How was break?" he put his hands up, "Don't tell me, it was terrible because you missed me so much?" A few people laughed. Most stared blankly. Lindon coughed. "Fine then. I was trying to put off real work just a little longer but you must want to just get on with it."

Louis was in a terrible mood. Harry was still at home. Home...his apartment...recovering. He wasn't well enough to walk around the very large campus just yet. The four boys sat at their usual table, Zayn with a hand on Liam's thigh. Niall was smiling as always.

But next to Louis was an empty chair and he hated it. It reminded him, even though Harry was fine, of the worst day of his life. The day he thought he lost Harry.

Louis put his head down on the table and sighed. Niall leaned over, "You alright, mate?" Louis nodded against the cold wood. Niall scoffed. "You're a terrible liar."

Louis peaked over at Niall and rolled his eyes. He lifted his head up and whispered, "I hate being away from him when he's still not well. I've been with him twenty-four seven for a week now and," he trailed off.

"I know. I walked in on a few compromising situations trying to do you guys a favor," Niall remember.

Louis smiled sadly, "Yeah, sorry about that." He fiddled with his fingers, "Blame Harry. He started with the chocolate syr-"

"No," Niall put a hand up, "I don't want to talk about it."

Louis laughed quietly.

"The point is," Niall reiterated, "that Harry will be there, probably sleeping, when you get back. And he needs his work so he can stay in school."

Louis nodded but wasn't happy about it.


Niall held Harry's folder of work with his name on it from Lindon up by his face and smiled. Louis snapped the picture and handed Niall his phone back.

Niall sent off a text. Taking Harry his stuff. No more slacking. Haha.

Niall has been covering for Harry and Louis brilliantly. Anne had really taken a shine to the blond.

"Thanks, Ni."

"Sure," he smiled.

Louis took Harry's stuff from Niall and put it in his backpack.


Niall and Louis looked towards the classroom where Lindon was coming out and trying to get his attention.

"Yes, Mr. Lindon?"

"You wouldn't happen to know how long Mr. Styles will be out, do you?"

"I can't say for sure. It depends on him. But knowing him it shouldn't be more than a few days more."

Lindon nodded, "Thanks. The Dean is wondering. Harry is a very promising student and he likes to keep tabs. Thank you for taking him his work."

"Of course, sir."

Lindon nodded again and said goodbye to the boys.

"Fucking pricks," Louis muttered.


"Lindon reports to the Dean. The Dean reports to Harry's parents. Shit. I didn't know Lindon was one of those people."

"What do you mean, Louis?"

"Harry's parents. They check up on him. They're friends with the Dean. The Dean asks a few teachers to keep an eye out. I didn't even think that Lindon would be one."

"So? Harry's a good student."

"They're not checking for his grades, Niall. They're checking to make sure he's not stepping out of line," he explained and pointed to himself.

Niall's face flooded with realization. "Oh. That's not fair!"

"Tell me about it. I'm over this fucking school," Louis huffed and waved goodbye to Niall. Niall waved sadly after him.


"Babe?" Louis called as the elevator doors opened. It was funny how the concierge smiles at Louis as he walked through the lobby. Like he lived here, too. He surely has been lately. Louis just hoped he wasn't in the Twist's pocket too.

"Lou!" Harry came out of nowhere and lunged at Louis.

Louis nearly toppled backwards with the weight of his backpack the force of Harry.

Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' neck and his long legs around Louis and his backpack. "This was the worst day of my life," Harry squealed.

"Why's that babe?" Louis walked slowly with a Harry koala to the couch.

"Because I woke up and you were gone and I had to eat lunch alone and I had to wank in the shower cause you weren't here," Harry babbled.

Louis deposited Harry on the cushions and dropped his bag. "Poor, dear. How did you survive?"

"I didn't. I died." Louis froze. Harry was laughing but stopped when he realized Louis wasn't. "What's?" he realized, "Oh God I didn't mean that!"

Louis shook his head, "I know. I know. It's fine."

Harry pulled Louis down into his lap. "It's not fine. I wasn't thinking." He put his head on top of Louis' head.

"Really, Hazza, I'm fine. I just, I don't know, I-"

"I scared you, I know. I scared me, too." Louis gripped Harry's shirt in his hand. "Hey," he brought Louis' hand to his heart and held his open palm against it. "Feel that?" Louis nodded with his face still next to his hand. "I'm alive. That's what my heartbeat feels like. Remember it. Because as long as I have it, it's yours."

Louis cheeks were streaked with silent tears. He pushed his fingers into Harry's chest and let out a shaky breath. "I've had some pretty crappy times, Harry, but the day you went to the hospital was the worst day of my life. I hadn't even admitted I loved you yet, but I knew that if you died I would've died with you."

"Don't say that. Please don't. You have to promise," he lifted Louis' chin to look at him, "promise me that no matter what happens you'll keep going. For me?"

"I don't want to think about it, Harry." They were both crying now.

"I need you to. Promise," he gripped his chin tight, "Promise me."

Louis nodded in his grasp. Harry let go and pulled Louis in again.

"I'm sorry for this. You were so happy when I came home and now look at us," Louis apologized.

"It's okay, love. You shouldn't have to worry about something like that on your own."

"I don't want you to be sad."

"Well I was actually working on dinner. Would you like to help? Cooking with you, although dangerous, always makes me happy."

Louis sat up and nodded. "Love to."

Harry grabbed his hand and led him to where there were ingredients all over the counters along with bowls and plates and pots.

"What are we making?"

"Lemon pepper chicken tortellini in a creamy cheese sauce."

"Damn. Remind me to never ever break up with you."

Harry elbowed Louis and showed him strips of raw homemade pasta. "Fill these with that chicken and cream cheese," he pointed to everything. Harry turned to work on the sauce over the stove but Louis made a panicked sound. He turned back, "What?"

"That's it. How much? How do I do it? What do I do with it after? Cooking is hard, Harry!"

Harry laughed at his adorably flustered boyfriend and came up behind him. "It's easy, I promise." He circled his arms around him and lightly took hold of his wrists. "Grab a spoon," he led Louis' hand to a spoon and Louis picked it up. "Now scoop a little out of the bowl," he guided Louis' hand down to get some meat and cheese.

"Like this?" Louis wondered.

"Little bit too much," Harry corrected and used Louis' other hand to put some back in the bowl.

"This much?"

"Perfect," he said and kissed Louis' neck.

Louis' smile was blinding and Harry just wanted to kiss him all over.

"Now what?" Harry didn't realize that he was staring and their hands were still in mid-air.

"Now you put it in a line down the middle of each strip," he moved Louis hand to the pasta and Louis took it off the spoon and let it fall to the flimsy starch.

Harry took both of Louis' hands in his, fingering tangling, and molded the filling into a thick line. When he felt Louis take over he let his hands be led and focused on leaving sweet kisses along his shoulder. He kissed over his shirt and then his skin closer to his neck.

"Haz," Louis groaned.

"Yes, love?" Harry asked, eyes closed.

"What now?"

Harry opened his eyes and saw that Louis had finished this piece. "Oh. well now you do that a dozen times." He pulled his arms free and Louis whined.

"It won't be as fun the other times," he grumbled.

Harry gave him one last kiss on the cheek and smirked. "Well I have to cook too if we're ever going to eat."

Louis huffed and starting working on the rest.

"But," Harry interjected, "when the sauce is done it has to be tasted," he purred.

Louis perked up, and even turned away from Harry, he could tell Louis was grinning.

The boys worked and Harry glanced over to check Louis was alright every couple of minutes. Louis got into a groove and was flying through the filling. Once he finished filling, Harry showed Louis how to fold them. To keep the air out and pinch them tight.

Louis finished before Harry and washed his hands. Then he came behind Harry and snuggled into his back. "My turn," he sighed. Harry hummed in agreement and kept stirring. "Are you close?"

Harry laughed at the accidental innuendo and nodded, "Very. Want a taste?"

Louis squeezed his side to chide him but nodded against his back. Harry dipped the spoon in the sauce and brought it up to blow on it.

"It's hot so be careful."

"Ok Dad," Louis mocked.

Harry rolled his eyes and held the spoon out to Louis who swiped a finger through it and brought it to his lips. He sucked on his finger while keeping his eyes locked on Harry.

Harry glared at Louis' game and swiped his own finger over the spoon. He pushed it against Louis' lips and Louis opened his mouth and took the digit. He licked around Harry's finger and cleaned it of the creamy liquid.

Harry groaned in his throat at the feeling and at Louis' eyes growing darker. "We have to let that cool for just and minute," he said as he pushed Louis away from the stove and into the counter.

"Uh huh. Cool," Louis repeated and hopped up to sit on the clean part of the counter.

Louis wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and pulled him in. Harry grabbed Louis' waist and kissed the very edge of his shoulder. He made a line from there to the curve under his ear, then did the same thing on the other side.

"Harry, please fucking kiss me."

Harry laughed but relented and brought his lips to Louis'. Louis gratefully took them. They kissed slowly, enjoying the moment. Harry swiped his tongue on Louis' lip, but didn't push in, just wanted to taste. He still had a tiny bit of sauce from Harry's finger there.

Harry pulled back too soon and gave Louis a regretful look. "I can't let the sauce sit too long and I still have to drop the pasta."

Louis groaned out loud and let Harry go. Harry went to the pasta and quickly dropped them into the boiling water.

"Lou, come stir this for me while I do this."

Louis hopped off the counter, slapping Harry's butt as he joined him at the stove. He took the wooden spoon, pictured something naughty with it, banished that, and started stirring.

Harry took a few pieces out at a time and dropped them on a napkin. He dabbed them dry and then dropped them into the sauce. Louis kept stirring, coating the pasta.

"Just like that," Harry whispered in his ear. Louis shivered and kept stirring.

When Louis covered all the pasta in sauce Harry grabbed and spoon and ladled them into a bowl. Louis grabbed two forks and napkins. "Wanna eat out of this?" Harry asked.

Louis nodded and they sat at the table. Louis scooted his chair to touch Harry's and slipped his leg under his. Harry kissed Louis' temple and took the offered fork.

"You first," Harry requested. "I don't like to taste my own stuff first."

Louis agreed and took a tortellini on his fork. He blew on it and bit down. Louis' eyes closed as he chewed and made appreciative sounds.


Louis just moaned and nodded. "Like sex," he said with his mouth full.

Harry laughed and joined him. It was good. Really good. But it wasn't sex, Harry thought.

Chapter Text

Louis and Harry sat back in their chairs, stomachs full, and groaning.

"That was so good," Louis wailed.

"I'm so full," Harry added.

Louis hummed confirming he was just as full and put his head on the cool glass table.

"Hey, did you bring my work?" Harry asked, ever the good student.

"Uh huh."

"Did Niall tell Mom he was bringing it?"

"Picture and everything."

"Good. Niall is saving our asses. Mom doesn't know anything. She was telling me today that Niall is such a good friend." He waved his hands around. "A really good friend brings you your work so you don't fall behind and checks up on you when your sick," Harry mocked.

Louis laughed sarcastically. "I'm must be the best friend in the world."

Harry laughed too but more genuinely. "You are," Harry sighed. "Lindon probably had a mild stroke that I wasn't in class. His teacher's pet is missing class."

Louis lifted his head up then and gave Harry a worried look. "We have to be careful around him."

"Lindon? Why?"

"He's reporting to your parents."

"What? No way. He's"

"I thought so too, but I guess so. I get the feeling he doesn't know though."

"That he's helping my parents control my life from hours away?"

"God, Harry sometimes your parents-"

"Whatever it is, I've already thought it. Trust me."

Louis groaned. "Well now we have to watch ourselves in class."

"It's okay. I'm so on edge at school anyway."

"That's not okay, Harry. You shouldn't have to be uneasy at your own school."

Harry just shrugged. It felt like giving up. Louis couldn't let Harry be taken over like that. Harry deserved a great and glorious life, and Louis would be damned if his fucking parents were to stand in the way.

"Let's have a boys night!" Louis shouted.

Harry jumped at the sudden volume and but smiled at Louis' smile. "Uh, okay!"


"Niall stop eating all the popcorn!" Liam whined.

"Make some more! I made this for me!"

Harry lowered a hot bowl of popcorn between them, "Settle down."


"Thank you, Harry."

Louis saw Harry from the kitchen and couldn't help the fond on his face.

"I'm happy for you."

Louis turned around to Zayn grabbing chips off the counter.

"Thanks, man."

"You stood by him. When he hated you, when he hated himself. You did a good thing. You loved him anyway."

"I didn't know it. I thought I hated him for a minute there."

"But you didn't. And you never showed your confusion to him. You were good to him. Are good to him."

"He's good to me."

"I'm glad. You deserve it. And Harry deserves good too."

Louis sighed, "I know."

"So don't do that stuff you always used to do."

Louis was surprised by the talk of his old ways. "Like what?" he feigned innocence.

"Liam shared a bit of your past together. Some crazy nights. Broken hearts," Zayn gave a knowing look.

"That's not me anymore."

"I know that. I just need you to remember that."

"Zayn what's going on? Why are you fathering me right now?"

Zayn ran a hand through his hair. "Just be carful. People are noticing. Not you and Harry yet, but you. That you're not the same. They don't see you at parties anymore. You don't have the same reputation."


"They're wondering what's changed. It won't be long until they find out it's because you're whipped."

"I'm not-" Zayn gave him a look and that argument quickly died out. "It's none of their business."

"Agreed. This is just be being a friend and telling you what's going on when you're not looking. I don't want you to be tempted back into that stuff."

Louis sighed, "Yeah, thanks, Zayn."

"Plus it doesn't help when your best friends are together. You hang out with two openly gay men, Louis."

"You want me to stop hanging out with you?"

"No," Zayn shook his head, "I'm saying that if I need to I'll stop hanging out with you."

"You don't want to hang out with me?"

"Zaynie! Come on!" Liam called from the couch.

"One sec, babe!" He turned back to Louis. "Listen to me. I want to see you guys work out. And if Liam and I put that in jeopardy, then we'll take a step back."

Louis nodded, accepting what Zayn was saying. "I get it. But I wouldn't ask that of you guys. Liam's my best friend."

"I'm glad. But the offer is there, just in case." Zayn shoved Louis a little and walked out to the living room.

Louis soon followed with a cup of tea. He sipped it as he sat on the couch and set it on the table. He leaned back and Harry settled himself on Louis' chest. Louis unconsciously wrapped his fingers loosely in Harry's hair.

They rented three movies but knew they'd only get through one and a half. They cooked way too many snacks and knew they wouldn't eat them all (well maybe Niall but...). They settled in for a much needed boys night.

Chapter Text

"Harry!" Liam yelled to the back of the class when Harry walked in.

Louis' knee stopped bouncing at the name. This morning Harry said he was ready to go back to class. The doctor cleared him to pretty much 100% yesterday but Louis thought for sure he'd wait another day.

Nope. Harry's just a fucking Amazon and refuses to stay at home. They drove together, (Louis insisted) but they couldn't show up to class together. So Louis came in and Harry went to the bathroom.

After two excruciating minutes Harry walked through the door. Liam was facing the back and caught the curly-haired boy as soon as he walked in.

"Liam!" Harry shouted back.

People were glaring. Not really giving a fuck about who the two were and why they were yelling.

Harry bounded down the isle and hugged Liam like he hadn't seen him three nights ago.

"Liam you just saw him. Stop strangling him," Zayn complained while he moved Liam out of the way to hug Harry himself. "You're back."

"I'm back."

"My turn!" Niall yelled.

Niall jumped up and embraced Harry. "Hi, Niall."

Well shit. Now it would be weird if Louis didn't hug him. Curse these boys and their touchy tendencies.

Louis slowly stood up and waited for Niall to finish. Harry pulled away and smiled at Louis. He put his arms out and Louis reflexively fell into them.

"I didn't get a good morning hug anyway," Harry whispered.

Louis held extra tight to make up for it and commanded his hands not to wander anywhere inappropriate.

Someone coughed. Louis and Harry pulled apart to see that Liam was awkwardly trying to let them know that people were watching and their hug seemed a bit long.

Louis patted Harry's shoulder and sat down. Harry tried not to let the weird gesture get to him.

"Well if you weren't already aware, class, Harry Styles is back with us," Lindon announced. "He just recovered from surgery and is ready to get back to work I'm sure."

Harry smiled and said, "More than ready."

Lindon nodded and started the lecture, "For Harry's sake, and for everyone else's, we are working on our thesis ideas for the second semester. This time I expect you to conduct an investigation into something. I have the acceptable categories floating around on a paper somewhere. We have law, science, fine arts. Anything that is unexplained or could be explained further is pretty much game." The class listened to the lesson they'd already learned.

"So, boys? Which topic are we doing?" Niall asked.

"I like the one about Bigfoot," Harry suggested.

"I have an idea," Louis interrupted.


"Can we suggest a topic to Lindon?"

"What topic?" Liam asked.

"I want to investigate what makes somebody gay," Louis said definitively.

"What?" Harry freaked.

"What kind of question is that, Lou? You like boys. That's what makes you gay."

"No, fuck you, Zayn. I know that." Louis shook his head. "I mean. People say it's a choice. I want to see if they're right."

"You think if it were a choice I'd be gay," Harry whispered frantically. "You think if I had any control over it, I'd love you?"

Louis' mouth fell open. The others stared in shock.

"I didn't mean it like that, Lou."

"Then how'd you mean it, Harry?"

Harry rubbed his temple, "I just mean I, I love you, I love you so much," he voiced in a hushed tone, "But if I had any control over my feelings I wouldn't put myself and my family through this. The sneaking around. The lying. This is so hard for me. If I could change, I would. But I can't and so I'm so glad that I found you," Harry took Louis' hand under the table, "If I were stuck being like this alone, I'd die, Louis."

Louis held his eyes shut tight, trying to block out what Harry was saying. Look what his parents have done to him. Who treats their child like they're a mistake for so long that they feel like they're wrong or broken?

"Stop. Can we talk about this later?"

"I'd rather we not talk about this at all," Harry countered.

Louis tried to pull out of Harry's grip but Harry just held tighter. "I love you." He sounded so hurt. Like he was begging Louis to understand.

Louis looked around, checked to see no one was looking, and leaned his to kiss by Harry's ear. "I will always love you."


Louis snapped back into his chair and looked behind him. "Hey, Chaz," Louis seemed hesitant.

"How are you, man. It's been a while," he looked to Harry while he said, "Haven't really seen you around."

"Yeah. Been busy. Graduating and all."

Chaz looked back to Louis. "Yeah. I heard you sorta stopped hanging around."

Louis fidgeted, "I'm not sure what you mean."

He glanced back at Harry for a second, "Found better friends and all."

"No, mate, really. I've just been really busy."

"Excuse me young man. Can I help you?" Lindon called from the front of the class.

The guy gave one last look around the table and walked over to Lindon to hand him a folder and a note. Louis watched Lindon nod and thank Chaz. He stiffly waved to Louis as he walked back out.

"What a prick," Zayn mumbled.

"He's not. He's a good guy. Controlling, maybe."

"I saw him around our group but I never knew him," Liam added.

"He's helped me out a few times."

Harry leaned in, "Does he know you're gay?"

Louis nodded tightly but didn't look at him.

Harry seemed to take in the last couple of minutes differently and backed up again.

Louis took out his phone and quickly sent off a text.

To Chaz:

Please don't tell.

To Louis:

You've changed Tommo.

To Chaz:

Promise me you won't tell anyone about him.

To Louis:

There's nothing I can do now.

Louis dropped his phone into his lap and let his head fall into the table.

Fuck. Was all he could think.

Chapter Text

Music was blasting out of the speakers in the living room. There were empty cups and bottles littering the floor. Kids was passed out in corners and some were making out. To be honest Louis didn't miss this.

He came late knowing he didn't want to deal with the freshmen that always showed up right at the start, got smashed too quickly, and left early. But he knew his friends (were they still his friends?) would be here.

They probably claimed one of the many rooms in the large house as theirs. He made his way down the hallway and found them in a back den. The room wreaked of weed and was filled with gray smoke.

"Louis!" one shouted.

"Hey Stan," Louis greeted kindly.

Stan got up and swayed over to Louis. He grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug that Louis reciprocated.

"I missed you so much, mate. What happen to you?"

"Yeah, Lou, what happened to you?"

"Well hello to you too, Matt."

"Tommo," Matt replied sharply.

Another got up from a chair and hugged Louis. He had to leaned back to see who it was.

"Jamie. How've you been?"

"Shit. School's shit. But hey," he shrugged.

"I know what you mean. Capstone is kicking my ass."

Jamie laughed and patted Louis on the shoulder in agreement.

"Uh, has anyone seen Chaz?" Louis asked.

"He stayed home. Said he wasn't feeling it tonight. Had a weird day, he said," Matt informed him.

"Did he say what happened?" Louis questioned nervously.

"Didn't need to. We all know what's had him on edge for days now," Matt answered.

"What's that?"

"Louis," Stan called suddenly. Louis looked over and saw Stan motioning for him to come over. Louis walked over to him by the door. "You know we love you Louis. I've been your best friend since we were kids. No matter what happens I'll always be there."

"What's going on, Stan?"

"None of care that you're gay. We never have. But it's never come between our group before now."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Chaz saw you and Harry outside his apartment last week."

Louis shook his head to deny it but Matt yelled from the couch.

"How is he?"

Louis spun around and glared at Matt. "Excuse me?"

"I mean he must be willing as fuck. I bet he puts out easy."

Before Louis knew what he was doing he lunged over the back of the couch tackled Matt from behind. The two fell to the floor and Louis drew back and punched him square in the face before Matt could even get his bearings.

Too soon though Matt was pushing back Louis and swinging. He landed a few good hits while Louis did the same. Matt kneed Louis in the back and pushed him off.

He rolled over and sat on Louis' chest. Louis automatically brought his arms up to guard his face and Matt landed punch after punch, only one or two getting through.

Louis brought one arm down and swung up into Matt's ribs. Matt's breath woodshed out of him and Louis pushed him back on the floor.

Louis quickly got up and hovered over Matt's wheezing body. He gave one hard kick to his already sore ribs and yelled, "Touch him and I'll fucking kill you! And keep your fucking mouth shut about him!"

Louis found Jamie in the far corner and gave him an apologetic look. He walked to Stan and said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. He's an asshole."

Louis gave him a sad smile and walked out.

Louis' face was swelling and he felt bruises forming on his back. He couldn't go to Harry's. He couldn't let him know what happened. But he needed someone to patch him up.

He drove down the dark street until he saw Liam's familiar house. His porch light wasn't on so it was pitch dark outside. He pulled up to the curb and made his was slowly to the door.

He knocked and waited. A few moments later Liam answered and his smile quickly faded to a look of concern. Lights were on inside so at least he didn't wake him.

"Tommo? What the fuck?" he ushered Louis inside and to the kitchen.

"Fucking asshole!" Louis shouted.

"Li, what's going on?" Zayn came around the corner.

"Sorry, mate. Did I wake you?" Louis asked.

"No, Louis. What the hell?"

"I'm fine."

"Louis you need to go," Zayn said suddenly.

"Zayn?" Liam was shocked.

"No, Lou. Harry's he-"

"Everything okay guys?" Harry came around the corner. "Louis?" Harry's voice broke.

Chapter Text

"Oh my God! Louis, what happened?!" Harry rushed forward and grabbed Louis' face, making him wince in pain.

"Babe, I'm fine," Louis lied.

"Bullshit," Harry called him out.

Louis looked to Liam with begging eyes.

"Zayn, can you and Harry go grab some towels and band aids and things," Liam asked his boyfriend and gave him a pointed look.

Zayn nodded, understanding, and led Harry to the bathroom.

"The fuck, Tommo?" Liam whisper-yelled.

"It's Matt. The guys know about Harry. He fucking," Louis growled and his hands balled into fists.

"He's an asshole. Always has been. Whatever he did, forget it," Liam sympathized.

"They know, Payno!" Louis freaked.

"We couldn't find any rubbing alcohol, Liam!" Harry called out as he walked back into the kitchen.

"Zayn knows where it's at."

"He said he couldn't find it."

Liam sighed and left Harry to go to the bathroom.

Harry stood a few feet from Louis with his arms dead at his sides and his eyes on the floor.

"Babe," Louis begged. Harry just shook his head. "Baby, please." Harry shook his head harder and stuttered out a breath.

"Now, I," Harry's face scrunched up but he quickly calmed himself, "Now I can imagine how you felt that day."

Louis immediately understood what Harry meant and reached forward and pulled him into a hug.

He ignored the pain and held him tight. "I'm so sorry. I never wanted you to feel like that."

Harry was almost dead in Louis' arms. Louis didn't know what to do. He knew that when he felt like this that the only thing he could focus on was Harry.

"Sweetheart?" Harry didn't respond. "Will you help me?" Harry finally looked Louis in the eye. "I need you to patch me up."

Harry traced the tips of his fingers down to Louis' hand and interlocked them. He gently tugged Louis with him to the bathroom. Louis could see Harry was still upset but at least he was touching him.

They found Zayn leaning back against the counter with Liam leaning on him heavily. Liam had his forehead on Zayn's chest and Zayn had his hands in Liam's short hair.

Liam looked up with he heard them come in and Louis saw he had tears in his eyes. Zayn pulled Liam back to him and said, "We're going to bed, guys. You're welcome to stay as long as you want." Zayn held Liam close as they went to Liam's room and shut the door.

Harry knew Louis was probably blaming himself. "He just loves you, you know?"

It was Louis' turn not to respond. Harry guided him to the counter and patted the surface. Louis slowly climbed up to sit on the counter. He winced when his bloodied hand gripped the edge.

Harry set to work grabbing things. Gauze. The rubbing alcohol that Zayn "couldn't find". Band aids. Neosporin. A few wash clothes.

Louis sat and watched him scour the cabinets for everything he thought he'd need. He smiled even though his cheeks fought back in pain.

Harry wet a washcloth and started gently wiping the dried blood from Louis' face. Louis kept as still as he could so he didn't worry Harry but the cuts and gashes were sore and aching.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Louis looked down to his lap, "I'd rather not."

"So I'll just clean you up and pretend this never happened?"

"That'd be great," Louis chuckled but Harry wasn't in the mood for jokes. Louis kept his hard gaze for as long as he could before he felt like his heart might break. "Someone I used to hang out with had a problem with me."

"And you fought him?" Louis nodded slowly. "Over what?"

"He's a jerk, and he was just looking for a fight." It probably wasn't a lie. Matt always did love the attention but Louis ignore the other part of the story.

"And he just hit you?" Harry sounded genuinely confused.

"Pretty much," Louis lied.

Harry shook his head sadly. "I'm sorry Louis, but your friends seem awful."

"No, just him. The others are good guys," Louis reassured him.

Harry was silent while he wrapped Louis' hand, put IcyHot in his back, bandaged his face. It wasn't until he was finished that he said, "I don't want you to leave."

Louis simply said, "I wouldn't."

"I don't have my car. Liam drove me."

"Good. Then you can hold my hand while I drive."

"Your hurt hand?"

"It could be broken, Harry, and I'd still ask you to hold my hand."

Harry smiled just a little at that. "Can we go to yours? We never go to yours."

"Sure. It's no penthouse. But I like it."

"It doesn't matter if you're there."

Chapter Text

Harry tried to convince Louis to let him drive but Louis actually laughed and said, "Not a chance, babe." Louis' car was second, only to Harry.

When they made it to Louis' house, Harry helped him to the elevator and kept a firm but gentle hold on him for the ride up to his floor.

Louis unlocked the door and dropped his keys on the table. Harry felt for the light and flicked on the switch.

Louis kicked his shoes off and practically fell to the couch, wincing when his back hit the cushions.

"I'll turn down the bed. You should take a shower. No bath. I'll run a bath," Harry started scrambling around the apartment.

Louis thought about stopping him, but he really wanted a bath, and when Harry was hurt he loved taking care of him.

Louis heard the water run in the bathroom. Harry came and helped him up and led him to the bathroom. He started taking Louis' clothes off gently. Louis lifted his arms and Harry slid his shirt over his head.

He only had a few small bruises by his neck. But Harry could see his back in the mirror and the large spread of bruises there, shiny from the muscle rub Harry put on earlier.

"God, Lou," Harry worried.

"It's fine. Really. Definitely not the worst I've had."

Harry made an unpleased sound, "Don't say that. I don't want to know that."

Louis grabbed Harry's hand, "Sorry."

Harry kissed Louis' cheek, "I love you so much."

Louis nuzzled into Harry and whispered, "Promise you won't stop loving me."

"Never," Harry answered immediately.

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."

Harry kissed his bruises lips softly. He found a cut on his chin and kissed it. Then the bruises on his neck. Louis could barely feel Harry's soft lips, but his body was so sensitive that it felt like Harry's touch weighed a hundred pounds.

Harry continue to litter kisses across Louis' chest so lightly that it almost tickled. Louis watched every time Harrys lips made contact with his skin.

Harry's hands undid the button on Louis' jeans and he circled his thumbs soothingly over his hips. He undid the zipper and gently started to tug down Louis jeans. Louis hissed when they were pulled over a bruise on his hip he didn't notice he had.

Harry noticed and checked to see where Louis was hurting. He pulled down Louis' briefs to join his pants and check one hip then the other. He found the good size bruise on his right hip and kissed it too.

Harry went over and turned off the water. Louis stepped slowly to the edge of the tub. Harry held Louis steady while he lowered down into the warm water.

Once Louis was settled back he closed his eyes and laid his head back. He could feel the burn against his sore muscles, but it felt so good.

Harry watched him for a minute to make sure he was alright and then said, "Are you hungry? I can go make something. I mean it's late but if your hungry I'll cook."

"Get in."


"Take off your clothes and get in this bath with me," Louis said without opening his eyes.

Harry looked to the door, to Louis, down to himself and then decided why not. He quickly threw all his clothes over by the counter and then asked, "Can you lean up so you can lay back on me?"

Louis nodded and pulled himself up by the edges on the tub. Harry held him and slid in behind him. Louis fell back grateful on Harry's chest and let his head lull to the side, closing his eyes again.

Harry wrapped his hands loosely around Louis' chest and rubbed his thumbs on his skin. Louis hummed contentedly.

"I love you," he mumbled. Apparently once Louis said those three words he'd never be able to stop saying them. At least not to Harry.

"I love you more."

"No you don't," he retorted stubbornly.

"I'll prove you wrong, Lou," Harry spoke into his hair, "However long it takes." Louis laughed.

They stayed like that, cuddled together, easing Louis' physical wounds, and Harry's emotional ones, until their skin got pruney and the water turned cold.

Harry got out and helped Louis out. He got them both towels and dried Louis off, making sure to he gentle with his back and hip. Harry went ahead to Louis' room to pick out clothes while Louis followed slowly behind.

He sat on the bed and allowed Harry to maneuver him how he pleased. Once he was dressed he went to where Harry pulled back the covers and slipped in. He didn't even let Harry get dressed himself, instead he pulled him down and wrapped his arms around him.

They laid there, Harry's back to Louis' chest, arms tight around him, until Louis fell asleep. Harry waited until he heard the soft snores that let him know Louis was comfortably dreaming. He slowly let Louis' arm fall off him as he scooted out from under the covers and stood up.

Quickly putting his clothes back on, he grabbed Louis' keys. He borrow Louis' jacket and pulled the hood up to cover his wet hair.

Harry gave one last look back towards the bedroom where his sore, tired, perfect boyfriend laid asleep before silently opening the door and leaving.

Chapter Text

Harry rang the door bell. He waited, biting his nails, until he saw the light inside turn on and the door swung openly slowly.


"Dean Winslow."

"Son, you do realize what time it is, right?" the Dean asked sleepily.

"I do. And I'm so sorry to bother you and Sandra so late, but I need to talk to you."

"Come in," he said and waved Harry inside.

Harry sat down on the plush couch. The Dean tightened his robe and sat across from him in the chair.

"What's going on Harry? I know you had surgery recently. You're okay?"

Harry nodded, "Physically, I'm fine."


"We've known each other for a long time."

"Since your were a child, Harry."

"And I know that you're close with my parents."

"Harry, why don't you just say what's on your mind."

"I know they keep tabs on my behavior through you and some of the board and the teachers. I need to know what you report back to them."

Dean Winslow nodded thoughtfully and unconsciously rubbed a circle into the arm of the chair.

"You are a very bright student, Harry. I'd hate to see you waste your potential on something, or someone," he emphasized, "that could stand in the way of you becoming someone great."

"What do you-"

"I know it's not my place, but considering you're in my home at," he glanced at the wall clock, "three am I'll take the liberty to say, you should break it off."

"Dean Winslow I don't think-"

"What's his name? Lawrence? Luke?"

"It's Louis."

"Louis, then. He's trouble. Partier. Drinks too much. Heart breaker. Or so I hear. He's definitely not the right person for you."

"How did you?"

"You're not as sly as you think you are, son. People have eyes. And they are my eyes."

Harry shook his head.

"Now, I haven't told your parents anything yet. Because I have faith you'll make the right decision."

"And what's the right decision here, Dean?"

"Harry," he made a regretful sound, "Break up with the boy. Or I'll be forced to inform your parents."


"Harry. My wife is sleeping."

Harry sank lower in the chair and covered his face with his hands. "I came to you, knowing you've ratted on me to my parents consistently, because I thought that since you've been like an uncle to me that you'd take my side!"

"I am on your side Harry. That's why I'm giving you one week to deal with him before I go to your parents."

"Deal with him? Who do you think you are?"

"I'm a mentor of yours. And a friend. And your Dean. My only concern is your future."

"You don't understand! Louis is my future!"

"Harry, I won't tell you again to keep your voice down."

"You can't do this. My parents won't let me graduate if they find out."

"I know, Harry. Who do you think gave them that power? They can't just expel students on their own."

"You'd expel me because I'm gay?"

"I'd expel you because being gay will ruin your future and if I can save you from that then I will," the Dean cocked his head, "And I'm afraid that I can't let someone that ruins an excellent future for a great student like you to stay at my school, either."


"Louis would have to be expelled as well."

"You can't do that!" Harry stood from his place on the couch.

"I can, and for you, I will."

Harry knew there was nothing else he could say. This has been happening for years. He couldn't change this tonight.

"I'm have to go," he decided.

"Take my advice, Harry."

Harry left the Dean sitting in his chair.


The street lights seems too bright as they passed Harry by. The night was black but they were bright white. It was giving him a headache. Or maybe it was what he was about to do that was giving him a headache. He almost couldn't believe he was about to do this.

Harry was speeding twenty over but he needed to get there. Now. If he didn't he might back out. Then he knew he'd hate himself even more than he will for what he's about to do.

Harry hated this! He hated himself! He hated that school! He hated his family!

He pulled up and got out of the car. The entire street seemed to be as dark as Harry's future right now. He flipped through the keys in his hand and let himself in.

He swore it was colder than when he left. But maybe it just felt that way. The wall felt cold when he leaned back on it. Harry breathed deep again and again trying to get the courage to do this.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and resolutely walked down the hall to the bedroom. He opened the door slowly so he wouldn't make any noise, but then remembered that he needed to wake him up.

He turned the light on went to the side of the bed. Harry leaned over and kissed the sleeping boy's forehead.

"Louis," he whispered.

Louis scrunched his nose and made an unpleased sound. Harry almost broke right there, but he knew he couldn't cry if he was going to be believable.

"Louis. Sit up. Now."

Louis' eyes slipped open at Harry's tone. "What's going on?"

"Please sit up. I need you to hear me."

Louis rubbed his eyes and propped himself up on his elbows. "Why are you dressed?" he asked sluggishly, "Are we going some-"

"I'm breaking up with you."

Chapter Text

"What?" Louis was suddenly wide awake.

"I'm breaking up with you. If you could drive me home that would be great." Harry kept all the emotion out of his voice so he didn't betray to Louis that his heart was breaking.



"No. You're not leaving. You're not breaking up with me."

"I am, Lou."

"No you're not. I tried that. I tried to break up with you when you were in the hospital," Louis laughed, "God that makes me sound like a terrible person!" He waved his hands in dismissal, "Anyway, I tried that, and you basically told me hell no. So hell no."

"You don't understand."

"No I don't. I don't understand what could make you want to...Wait. Is this because I punched somebody? I'll go apologize, even though he doesn't deserve it. I'll beg his forgiveness if that's why you're doing this."

"That's not it, Lou."

"Then why?"

Harry ignored him and got out his phone. He dialed a number and put the phone to his ear. "Zayn? Can you come get me?"

"No!" Louis jumped out of the bed and grabbed for Harry's phone. Harry kept a hand between them and kept talking.

"At Louis'. I didn't drive."

"Zayn! Don't, please, Don't!" Louis yelled, hoping Zayn would hear him.

"Zayn I need you to come get me, please," Harry said flatly.

Louis felt the tears start to form. "Don't do this, Harry. Stay. Please, stay."

"Just hurry, Zayn." Harry hung up the phone and let his arm drop from Louis' chest. "I'm sorry, Lou." It was the only sincere thing he's said so far.

"Don't go. Please, stay. You made me promise to stay with you," Louis was crying hard now. "I shou-should've made y-you promise, too," he sobbed.

Harry turned his back on Louis so he wouldn't see him hate himself right now. "I'm going to go wait outside." Harry started towards the door, but Louis ran ahead of him and put his arms across the front door.

"No. Don't go. Please. I don't understand what I did."

"You didn't do anything, Lou."

"Then why?!"

"Don't make this harder, Louis."

"It should be hard! It shouldn't be easy to leave the person you love!"

Harry almost lost it. It hurt that Louis thought this was easy for Harry. But if he broke he'd never be able to let Louis go. So he steeled himself and told the hardest lie of his life.

"I guess that's what makes this so easy then. Because I don't love you."

Louis' mouth fell open in shock and he stopped breathing for a second. "What?"

Louis was really going to make Harry say it again. "I dont," Harry breathed resolutely, "I don't love you."

Louis' arms fell beside him and he shook his head. He started walking towards his room, but only made it a few steps past Harry before he fell to his knees and started crying again. Harry could hear Louis' sobs and dug his nails into his hands so he wouldn't run to him and hold him tight. Harry felt a tear fall and almost turned around, but he heard a honk outside.

Harry opened the front door and then did look back to where Louis was on his knees with his hands bracing himself on the carpet. His shoulders were shaking and he was letting out unsteady breaths. Harry did that. He made Louis cry on the floor.

Harry swung his arm out and hit the wall with his fist. Louis flinched at the noise and waited for Harry to say something. "Get over me, Louis. It's whats best." Harry slammed the door shut and ran down the walk to where Zayn's car was waiting.

He got all the way to the curb before he broke and tears started to fall. Harry's legs went weak and gave out. He fell to ground and leaned against the car door. Zayn got out and came around to kneel beside him.

"Harry, what happened? Did he hurt you?"

Harry cried harder at that. Of course he'd blame Louis. Because Harry's the innocent one.

Bullshit. He was a monster.

Harry shook his head and pulled himself up. "Take me home."

Zayn helped him up and opened the door for him. Harry got in and curled up in the seat. Harry rode away while Louis stayed on the floor inside wondering what he did wrong.

Chapter Text

"Tell me what happened," Liam begged.

Harry should've called Niall. Of course Zayn was over at Liam's. So now Harry was curled up under a blanket on the couch with Zayn holding him tight. Liam was sitting in the chair next to the couch.

Harry's face was red but his tears have long since dried. He was taking in shaky breaths and hiding under the blanket.

"Harry. I need to know. Did Louis hurt you?" Zayn asked wearily.

"Nononono," Harry babbled.

Zayn nodded his head in relief. Liam gave Zayn a look. They were both lost as to what to do.

"I need to go see him," Liam told Zayn.

Zayn nodded and Liam grabbed his jacket and keys. He came back and kissed the top of Harry's head and then Zayn's cheek. Liam left Zayn to deal with a silent and broken Harry.

But Liam had no idea he was leaving a bad situation for a worse one.


"Louis?" Liam knocked on Louis' front door. "Tommo, it's Liam. Can I come in?" Liam didn't hear anything so he tried again. "Tommo? I won't leave until you answer!"

A minute later the locked turned and Louis opened the door. Liam felt pain for the boy as soon as he saw him. His hair was pushed in different directions like he'd been thrashing in his sleep.

All he was wearing were briefs and one of Harry's favorite shirts. He eyes were bright red and he could barely keep them open.

"Oh, Lou."

Liam came in and shut the door. Louis seemed shaky and was taking unsteady steps back to his room.

"Louis, wait." Louis ignored him and kept walking. He got to his bed and slid into the blankets and laid down. Liam stood at his bedroom doorway with no clue what to do. He went to the other side of the bed and slid off his shoes and jacket.

He laid down on top of the covers and waited. Soon he heard the almost silent sound of Louis crying.

"Did he tell you why?" Louis asked quietly.

"He didn't tell me anything. I don't even know what happened."

Louis started crying harder so Liam put an arm around him and curled up to him.

"I'm so sorry, Lou."

"He didn't even tell me what I did," he sobbed.

"He broke up with you?"

Louis inhaled shakily and nodded into his pillow. Liam still had no idea what to do. So he just laid there and held his broken best friend.


Harry showed up back at class on Monday. His hair was pushed back, his jeans were tight, and his smile was bright (and fake as fuck). He was convincing everyone around him that he was fine.

He almost had himself convinced. But then he would see Louis' face in his head. He'd remember what he sounded like on the floor, sobbing. And he would have to close his eyes and remember what the Dean said and remind himself why he was doing this.

Harry got the their table and Niall and Zayn were already there. He sat down and greeted the boys like any other day.

"Harry?" Zayn asked hesitantly.


"Are you okay?"

Harry held his head up and said, "Of course."

Liam came in carrying two loads of books and supplies while Louis lagged behind. His feet dragged on the floor and he kept his eyes down.

Harry watched him with a pained expression but Louis never looked up. He expected Louis to come sit at their table but he kept walking solemnly to Lindon's desk.

"What can I do for you..Mr. Tomlinson," he trailed off when he saw Louis' stated.

"I, uh, need to talk to you about switching classes," Louis voice was hoarse from the crying.

"Louis, switching now would be impossible. We're two thirds into the year."

Louis' face broke and he thought he was going to cry, but he swallowed it down and said, "I know. I'll talk to whoever I need to talk to."

"Usually senior matters like this get sent to the Dean."

Louis stiffened at the mention of his title but he nodded quickly. "I'll talk to him, then."

"After class, Louis. For now you're in my class and I won't let you miss."

Louis nodded, his head dead on his shoulders. He went back to the boys table and took the only empty seat as usual next to Harry. Sitting there felt like setting himself on fire.

Harry wanted to reached over and take Louis' hand. He wanted to bring Louis' head to rest on his chest. He wanted to hug him and tell him he still loved him so much. Instead he sat stoically and glared holes in the whiteboard.

Liam and Zayn were glancing nervously between the two. Niall looked confusedly around the whole table.

Finally Niall leaned across Harry to Louis and said, "Louis? Are you okay?"

Louis made a weak sound and kept his eyes glued to his lap. Harry swallowed his self hate and took even breaths. Liam pushed Niall back to his seat and gave his a warning look. Niall shrugged innocently and sat back.

The next hour was one the hardest of Louis and Harry's life.

Chapter Text

Louis couldn't bring himself to move at more than a snail's pace after class, but Harry shot out the door. Louis couldn't help but watch him leave, curls bouncing a little against his neck.

Liam picked Louis' stuff up with his and put a hand on his back. "Drive you home?"

"No. I have to go to talk to the Dean about something. I'll just, I don't know, catch the bus." Louis hadn't ridden the bus seen he was fifteen and carless, but today he didn't really feel like being around anyone he knew anyway.

"I'll just wait for you."

"Liam," Louis pleaded seriously, "Please leave. I'll be fine."

Liam had a small internal debate before nodding reluctantly and leaving Louis' stuff on the table. He gave Zayn a kiss and whispered that he'd see him after work.

Louis tried not to hate them for their love. Tried and failed. Liam gave Louis one more sad glance and left. Zayn gathered up his stuff and followed soon after.

Niall was slowly putting his stuff away and giving Louis curious looks ever couple of seconds.

"Yes, Niall?" Louis said exasperatedly.

"I don't know what's going on. But I just want you to know that I'm here."

Louis allowed himself a moment of peace that he still had people that loved him, even if...Louis couldn't think his name...didn't.

"Thank you," was all he could get out. Niall smiled understandingly and left Louis as the last one in the room.

Louis ran his hand through his hair and collected himself as best he could so I could go beg a man, that was controlling the person he loved, to take pity on him.

Louis picked up his books and walked out of the class. The halls were filled with people that he didn't know and didn't care about. Some that he did know took one look at his cuts, bruises, red eyes, disheveled appearance and kept walking.

He walked into the Dean's lobby and shut the door behind him. The door to the Dean's office sat on the far wall. He found that the secretary put up a sign saying back in ten minutes. He set his books down on the desk, wondering why she'd be taking a break in the middle of the afternoon on a busy school day but then he heard shouting coming from behind the Dean's door.

"I did this because you made me!"

Harry's voice? What was Harry doing in the Dean's office? Why was he yelling at the Dean?

"And you've made the right decision, Harry. Trust me."

"No! I feel like," his voice stopped abruptly and then Louis heard Harry crying. "I hate myself! I love him! And you ruined that!"

"Love? Harry you don't love him."

"Fuck you! I can't do this. You should see him. He actually thinks that I don't love him! I broke him, Dean! I broke us," the last part was much quieter and made Louis come closer to the door to hear.

"This is temporary, son. Now that you've broken it off, I can allow you both to graduate. You'll grow up, have a rewarding career, and find a wife to have a family with. And you'll forget all about that boy."

"You're deluded if you think that breaking up with him will make me forget him. I'll grow up, get married, have kids, hate myself, and still remember him."

"Harry you're being dramatic. You should be happy that I won't have to tell your parent about your indiscretions. And you're going to graduate from a prestigious university with the promise of a well-paying career."

"And Louis?"

"Louis is safe. He'll get his degree and move on to some mediocre job that he deserves."

"Don't talk about him like that."

"I talk about him as I should."

"Don't talk about him like that!"

Louis was shivering with anger and confusion as he pressed his hands and ear the smooth wood.

"Harry, I've overlooked your behavior for a while now, and when you came to me a few nights ago, unsure of what to do, I saved you."

"Save me," Harry was softer now. Defeated. He heard that tone from him so many times recently. He recognized it from the other night when Harry told Louis he didn't love him.

"Yes, Harry, saved you. I saved you from yourself and from him."

"I hate you," he was still quiet but the pure anger of his voice cut the air like a knife.

"You'll thank me one day."

"I'll never thank you. Because I'll never speak to you. I hope you tell me parents what you think you know. You don't know the half of it," Harry's words were measured and deliberate, "You've seen glances that lasted too long. Touches that seemed more than platonic, but you don't know what I've done. The things I've indulged in with him. The way he's made me scream."

"Harry, please," the Dean warned.

"No. I want you to tell me parents. I want you to tell the whole fucking world that he's had me on my back, moaning his name! Because then I wouldn't have to hide anymore, he'd know that I love him, and I can just say fuck you! Fuck your school!"

"Please, leave, Harry."


Then the door opened and Louis almost fell into Harry's chest, which moving hard with angry breaths. He caught himself and stood there with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

Harry's mouth opened but nothing came out. He almost looked embarrassed. The Dean came up to the doorway and gave Louis a dismissive look.

"Louis," he said his name like it tasted back in his mouth.

"I, uh," Louis stuttered.

"Eavesdropping. I'm not surprised. Well then I supposed I won't have to relay the message to you. Stay away from Harry."

Harry was still frozen and Louis was still looking for words to say. Louis' eyes were glassy and he felt like he was a million miles away. The Dean shuffled them out of his doorway and shut the door.

Harry bumped into Louis but didn't move back, instead he leaned into himself, relishing the close proximity he'd gotten used to.

"I'm assuming you heard me," Harry asked.

Louis was still dumbfounded. He couldn't make his thoughts make words. Harry broke up with him because the Dean made him. He did this so they could graduate. That's not real. That shit only happened in scary, powerful places with scary, powerful people. But then Louis supposed that was Harry's life.

Louis filtered through everything he'd witnessed and focused on the one thing he knew he heard.

"You love me," Louis choked and his voice broke on the word love.

Harry's face softened immediately. "Don't do this."

"You love me," Louis said again. Stronger this time.

"Louis, please. I've made my bed."

"No," Louis shook his head, everything finally sinking in. "You made our bed. You made this decision without me. You decided that this is what I needed. But I don't need this. This school. This degree. I don't need it. I don't want it, if you're the cost!"

"Louis keep your voice down," he warned and looked back at the Dean's office.

Louis grabbed Harry by the wrist and pulled him out of the Dean's office and down the hall to the now empty classroom they came from.

Louis turned on Harry and nearly fell into him as he wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. "You love me." The relief in Louis' voice made Harry's heart break all over again. He'd really made Louis think he didn't love him.

"I lo-can't do this," Harry backed out. "I know you heard the whole thing. Which means you know why I broke it off. I can't let you throw away your future." He took Louis' arms from around his torso and pushed him away gently.

"But I want to."

"What we want isn't always what's best for us."

Louis ran his hands through his hair for probably the hundredth time in the past couple days. "Don't break up with me."

Harry winced. "We're not together," he parroted the famous line Louis always used on his exes.

The last bit of pain left Louis' eyes and was replaced with coldness. He nodded resolutely and said, "I understand."

Louis walked past Harry brushing against his arm accidentally. It sent an electric shock straight to Harry's heart. He'd never feel Louis' skin again. Never feel that spark with anyone every again.

Chapter Text

Look at him. God, he's pretty. Oh his eyelids flutter in his sleep, that's cute. Louis had kicked the covers down to his waist and his chest was raising and falling evenly.

Harry lifted a hand and placed it slowly on Louis' torso. Louis mumbled something but didn't wake up, so Harry moved his hand over the soft planes of Louis' chest and stomach. The muscles tensed slightly when he touched them.

Harry kept playing with the dips and curves of Louis' body while he slept. He got to v cuts and noticed that Louis' briefs were sporting quite the tent. Louis had gotten hard from Harry's hands in his sleep.

Harry smiled, proud, and slipped his fingers under the waistband and felt the short hair right above his hard cock. Louis arched in Harry's hand and made a cute little whining sound in his sleep.

Harry leaned down and kiss his chest as he pushed Louis' pants down under the covers.

"Harry?" Louis mumbled, confused, half asleep.

Harry looked up to see Louis' eyes half open and a smirk on his face. "Good morning. Morning? I think," Harry greeted.

He moved down the bed, pushing the covers to the end, and sat on Louis' legs. Louis' cock laid flushed again this stomach and Harry took it in his hand.

"Harry," Louis groaned.

"Thank you for earlier," Harry whispered and moved his hand over Louis.

"If this is how you say thank you, then I will give you a blow job every time you take a shower."

Harry laughed and leaned down to kiss Louis' hot tip. "I want to return the favor."

Louis shifted his hips on the bed and made a needy sound. "You don't have to, Harry. That's not why I did it."

"I know. But I want to."

Louis nodded, giving Harry permission. Harry kissed one hip then the other, but sat up and gave Louis a worried look.

"What, love?"

"I don't know what to do," Harry said shyly.

Louis smiled adoringly at this innocent boy on top of him and reached down to run a hand up Harry's thigh.

"Just do what I did to you."

Harry rolled his eyes, "I was a bit distracted. I wasn't paying attention to your technique, Lou!"

Louis laughed and squeezed his knee. "Okay, okay. Just basically keep your lips and cheeks tight, watch your teeth, and use your tongue."

"Watch tongue, use lips, okay," Harry tried to repeat.

Louis just smiled again and said, "Why don't you just try it and I'll let you know as you go."

Harry liked that idea much better. He bent over and brought Louis' head to his lips. He gave it a sweet kiss before opening his mouth and putting his lips just under the head.

"Don't try and take too much at first. I don't want to hurt you." Harry nodded around Louis and his teeth scraped his tip. "Teeth. Watch the teeth."

Harry pulled off and whispered, "Sorry," in a deep voice. Louis' couldn't believe his voice could get deeper.

"It's fine, Harry. Keep going," he begged and bucked into Harry's hand.

Harry nodded and lowered down again. He put his lips around Louis again and kept them tight. He lowered down just a little and kept his breaths even.

Louis' fingered were still on Harry's knee, making comforting circles into his skin.

"Just move your head," Louis stopped to catch his breath, "up and down," Harry lowered down and came back up, "Yeah, like that. Shit, Haz, just like that."

Harry almost smiled around Louis but was afraid of the teeth thing. Instead he remembered Louis said to keep his cheeks tight, so he sucked the air out of his mouth and felt the inside of his cheeks against the smooth foreskin that was pulled back in his hand.

"Fuck, Harry," Louis groaned.

Harry's head moved up and down while he kept his mouth tight around Louis. Louis started leaking precome into Harry's mouth and he tasted it on his tongue.

He moved his tongue to try and get more of the bitter sweet liquid and swiped his tongue over the head to collect it.

"Harry! Yes, yes," Louis shouted then mumbled.

Harry moved his tongue over the head again and pushed into the slit hoping to get more of Louis' juices. He hummed when he got the taste he wanted and Louis bucked into Harry's mouth, making him gag.

"I'm sorry, so sorry. Sorry," Louis kept saying.

Harry didn't want to pull off to tell him it's okay so he showed him he wasn't put out by taking more of him in and making his cheeks tighter around him.

"God, Harry, yes."

Harry moved faster over Louis' cock and made sure to get any precome that Louis produced. Harry removed his hand and just his head move more freely up and down his length.

Louis hands moved to Harry's hair, not pushing but gripping. Harry felt Louis' legs tense under his and Louis whispered hoarsely, "Close, Haz. Pull off."

Harry hummed his disapproval of Louis' request and lowered further. Louis groaned one last time and came down Harry's throat. Harry moaned at Louis' taste and sucked all he could from the shivering boy.

He kept him in his mouth. Licking every last drop from him until he started getting soft. Harry sat up and wiped the cum from the corners on his mouth and then sucked it off his finger.

He leaned down and licked up the last little bit that was smeared over Louis' head. Louis whined, sensitive, but let Harry clean him off.

Harry smiled contentedly and swallowed the last of it. "You taste really good," he said as explanation.

Louis pushed his head into the pillows and groaned at Harry. "Amazing," he breathed in awe.

Harry laid down on top of Louis and tucked his head into Louis' neck. Louis twisted his fingers into Harry's sweaty hair.

"We should shower," Louis suggested.

"I like showers," Harry teased.

"Don't expect a blow job every time you shower, Harry," Louis laughed.

"Well, don't expect a blow job every time you give me a blow job," Harry teased back.

Louis rolled them over and got up. "Shower with me, please?" Louis asked sweetly and held a hand out. Harry took it and stood up. Louis wrapped him up in his arms and led them to the bathroom.

Chapter Text

The last few months of Capstone were excruciating. Louis and Harry never talked to each, barely looked at each, and thought about each other constantly.

They worked in the same group, and did their work like they knew they had to. There was no way that, after everything they'd been through to finish school, they'd fail now.

Liam and Zayn even kept a distance from each other when they were around the two because they didn't want to seem like they were rubbing their relationship in their faces.

Harry gravitated towards Niall to stay away from it as much as possible, but Louis gravitated towards Zayn and Liam because he prayed that their relationship would replace the one he used to have.

Harry found himself hating everything Louis did. Even the things he used to love. All of a sudden his crystal eyes were too blue, he hair was too soft, his ass too perfect. Like he was taunting Harry. Walking by him everyday, laughing with that perfect laugh when Niall said something stupid, flipping his fringe across his forehead.

He hated it all.

Louis didn't understand what he was doing wrong. It's like everything he did, in turn, made Harry more angry at him. He couldn't understand how someone could harbor such hatred towards someone without reason. Especially someone that said they once loved you.

Things got worse as the weeks went on. Soon Harry couldn't even stand to be in the same room as Louis. Louis would cough or sigh or sneeze, and Harry would huff and glare at him. Louis would give him a confused look and Harry would turn away.

Harry started turning in his work to one of the boys so he didn't have to go to the study sessions. He opted out of boys nights in case Louis came. The only time he saw him was in class, and he kept his eyes on the board or his laptop. He honestly was beginning to forget what Louis looked like.

Louis was so confused. He tried his best to stay out of Harry's way. He refused to let Harry affect the other areas of his life. He thrived in school, spending extra time on his work. He called his mom and sisters more. He got closer to the boys. He even started working out again.

That's how it went. No talking. No communication. And life went on. Painfully.


The senior dinner was tonight. Graduation was in a week. The dinner was a waste of time and energy. All the seniors were collected in the formal dining room.

They were divided by Capstone class, a group on each side, then sat alphabetically. So of course Louis and Harry were sat next to each other. This was the closest they'd been in months. And there were far too many people squeezed in a small table.

Harry's long legs didn't have anywhere to go, which meant he was pressed against Liam on his left and Louis on his right. He could feel Louis' thigh against his, strong but small.

He had his hands folded on the table in front of him, but if you looked close enough you could see his fingers clenched so tight that his knuckles were white.

Louis could feel Harry's leg. He was wearing those tight black jeans that he considered dress clothes because they didn't have any holes in them. The material was rough against Louis' soft black trousers.

Louis had his eyes closed in the dim light of the candles on the table. He hadn't feel any part of Harry in so long. He swore he could feel Harry's thigh muscles twitch. He didn't mean to but he pressed into Harry's leg to feel more.

Harry felt Louis shift just a little. Probably unnoticeable by anyone else, but Harry was hyper aware of every single breath Louis was taking right now. He pressed back without thinking, seeking that feeling he used to know.

Louis felt him press back. Was he telling Louis to shove off, or was he actually touching him? Louis didn't know what to do. He needed to feel more. So he lifted his leg up to stand of his toes and knocked his knee against Harry's.

Harry hand flew to Louis' knee. Louis stopped breathing and waited. "Stop, please," Harry asked. But he didn't sound mad or annoyed. He sounded needy. Like he meant the exact opposite of what he just said. So Louis took the risk and pressed into Harry's hand and his leg at the same time.

Harry made a whisper of a groan. Everyone was chatting and weren't paying even the slighted attention to them so no one heard it. But Louis did.

He put his hand gently on top on Harry's. Harry flinched like he was going to pull away, but didn't. Instead he squeezed Louis knee slowly but firmly.

Louis head lulled forward at the missed contact. He couldn't feel anything but Harry's hand and relief. Harry squeezed again and Louis' hand fell to his side in contentment.

With the new freedom Harry's hand slid a little higher on Louis' leg. Louis didn't dare move, afraid Harry would stop.

He didn't. He trailed his long fingers lightly up to Louis' upper thigh. Louis braced a hand on the edge of the table and kept his eyes closed, savoring the feeling he'd missed so much. Harry rubbed circles into Louis' pants with his thumb.

Harry messaged the muscles under his fingertips. He drew small patterns against the fabric. He tried to keep himself content with just this. A small touch. But it's wasn't enough. Wasn't nearly close enough to what he wanted.

So he moved his hand higher. Now the edge of his hand was lined up with Louis' crotch. He still made small circles with his thumb, but now it was in the crease between Louis thigh and hip.

Louis bit his lip but the small whine still escaped. Harry's head snapped to look at Louis, which turned out to be a bad idea, because Louis was leaning over the table, both hands had a firm grip on the edge, his eyes were held shut tight, eyebrows scrunched together, and he had his pink lip between his teeth.

Harry let out an almost silent growl and moved his hand to pressed down into Louis' half hard length through his pants.

Louis bit down harder on his lip and rocked slightly into Harry's hand. Harry couldn't help but to press down again. Louis' whine actually made a sound that time and he looked to Harry, scared he'd been too loud.

Louis almost came at what he saw. Harry's eyes were barely green anymore, dominated by black. His cheeks were flushed and his lips were moving like he wanted to say something but couldn't.

"Harry," Louis barely breathed.

"Hallway. Now," Harry ordered and abruptly got up from his seat and walked away.

Louis looked down at his lap in shock. Was he really supposed to follow? Is Harry even more pissed? And now Louis was hard in his pants and he just wanted them off.

He readjusted himself, quietly slid his chair back, and got up. Liam looked over at him and then to Harry's empty chair.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

Louis nodded dumbly and walked after Harry.

Chapter Text

Harry was seething. He couldn't control his breathing and his heart was pounding in his chest. He clasped his hands into fists to try and stop the shaking but he still felt the waves ripple through his fingers.

"Harry," Louis sounded so worried. Like he was scared for Harry.

Harry could imagine what he looked like right now. Raging, crazy, turned on, a mess. He was swallowing down every desire he had under a barely caged need to protect the smaller, older boy that just called his name.

"Harry? Are you-"

"Shut up!" Harry hated yelling, and yelling at Louis was something he'd never forgive himself for. He hated the way his voice sounded, the grating nature of it bouncing off the ornate walls. "I can't think around you," he said more reasonably.

Harry covered his face with his hands and scrubbed at his eyes like he might be able to clear his thoughts if he cleared his vision.

Louis walked closer but didn't get within arms length in case he couldn't resist and tried to touch Harry.

Harry shook his head and felt water press into the palms of his hands that he held to his face. "I hate myself," Harry whispered with a broken voice. "I hate everything I am. I hate what I've done. I hate this. Please, I hate this."

Louis watched as Harry leaned a hand on the wall and nearly fell forward into it with the confession. He hurt seeing Harry hurt, but he didn't know what to do since Harry hated himself so much because of Louis.

Harry legs felt weak. His knees almost gave out and leaned on the wall to keep himself up. "I've told so many lies in my life, but I've never hated myself more than when I lied to you."

Louis barely whispered, "What lie, Harry?" To be frank, of course Louis knew what lie. He wasn't trying to make Harry say it to hurt him. He just needed to hear it so he could finally sleep again. Selfish maybe, but he hadn't functioned correctly since Harry said...what he said, and if Louis could finally get some peace from Harry then he had to try.

Harry was shaking his head slowly back and forth before he placed his forehead against the wall. The room stilled, all the air evaporated, and the world stopped turning for a moment when Harry took a deep, deciding breath.

He balled his hand into a fist and hit the wall in conclusion. Harry turned on Louis and took a few determined steps to him. He held Louis' face in his hand and brought him into a kiss that stole what little breath Louis was holding in anticipation.

Harry pulled him in so close that Louis started breathing in sync with Harry's body. Louis was shocked and still against Harry's lips for a second before the damn broke and Louis pushed them back and Harry hit the wall with a groan.

Louis put on hand on the wall to still himself and the other around Harry's shaking form. Harry's hands gripped Louis' face, hair, neck, shoulders like he wasn't sure he was real.

Their mouths fought with the fire that had been burning for months, ever since that night when Harry broke him. Louis made sure Harry felt every move of his lips, every swipe of his tongue, every bite of teeth.

Harry brought a leg up to wrap around Louis' hips and pulled him harder against him. Tears were falling now, the salt of them mixing with the sweet, reverent taste of Louis' lips.

Louis grabbed Harry's other leg and pulled him up to straddle him while he pushed him further up the wall. Harry whined into Louis' mouth and squeezed his legs around him. He couldn't breathe or think, only feel.

And he felt so much. Felt Louis' breathe inside his lungs. Felt Louis' pulse against his skin. Felt Louis' heart beat fast inside his own chest. All he felt was Louis.

Louis held tight under Harry's legs and rocked him into the wallpaper. He savored the rough material of Harry's jeans in his fingers.

This can't be real. This feeling he'd missed so much. Stronger, harder than he'd ever felt it. The faint sound of applause was so far away in Louis' hazy mind.

"Excuse me? Mr. Styles?" a small voice tried to interrupt. Harry barely noticed the tiny intrusion and waved them away while he pushed into Louis. The voice came again, "Mr. Styles it's time for your speech."

That broke through the fog. Speech. Speech?

Harry broke away and spat, "Shit!" as he remember where he was and his duties tonight. His breathing was erratic and he couldn't calm his pulse enough to hear anything clearly. "Speech, shit!"

He scrambled and Louis dropped him to the floor but didn't back up. Louis' hair was no longer the smooth quiff it was when he arrived. His shirt was wrinkled and his face was pink. Harry loved it. He tried to memorize it for all of posterity.

He glanced to the small girl with wide, shocked eyes and swore again. "I have a speech. Fuck, I have to go," he breathed and smiled at Louis. Louis smiled back because this couldn't be happening.

Harry ran his fingers through his hair to try and get it back to some resemblance of styled. Louis tucked his shirt back in for him and ran his hands down the front to smooth it out.

But Harry's lips were still bright red, his eyes were glassy, and his wore a look that said please fuck me, Lou.

People would know.

Harry rose an eyebrow in question and Louis smiled in approval. Harry leaned in and ran his lips over Louis' ear. "I'm a fantastic liar. Never believe anything I say unless it's my relentless confessions of love for you."

Louis eyes fluttered closed and he turned into Harry's space, but Harry pulled away and smiled at the girl. "Sorry. I'm ready." He looked over his shoulder at Louis and smirked before following the girl back into the dining room.

Louis fell back against the wall and touched his fingers to his ear, then to his lips.

This can't be real.

Chapter Text

Louis gave himself a minute. He let the cool wood of the wall soothe his heated skin. His head fell back to rest against it and he sighed in disbelief.

He could still feel Harry's lips on his, his hands in his hair, his legs around his waist. He steeped in the memory of Harry's thigh against his hip as he pulled Louis in.

The words were playing over and over in Louis' head...relentless confessions of love for you. He loves me. He loves me! Helovesmehelovesmehelovesme!!

Louis could barely contain himself. He felt like a teenage girl meeting her celebrity crush. He was giddy and smiling like a loon he knew. If anyone were to see him right now they might ask if he was flying high.

He heard Harry talking in the other room and figured he should probably go in see what speech was so important that Louis doesn't have him wrapped around his body anymore.

He open the door quietly and stepped into the dim room. He didn't want to make his way through the tables to his during Harry's speech so he just leaned against the wall and listened.

"...but I'm honored that my fellow student thought highly enough of me that they wanted to hear what I had to say on such a special night," Harry paused and looked around at everyone. He looked to their table and then back to his notes. "I have so much to say," Harry looked back to the table and back to his notes.

"This school has done so much for me. Given me so many opportunities. They've given me a top notch education. Opportunities of a lifetime," he looked back to their table, but instead of going back his notes he looked around to other tables.

His face started to look more and more unsettled. Eventually he did look back at his notes. But then he shocked Louis by putting them face down on the podium and closing his eyes.

Harry took a quiet, serene breath and looked up. "This school has given me so much. Including a chance at a future. A future that I can be proud of." He looked around the room, more slowly this time, and said, "A chance to be with someone that I love."

Louis' mouth dropped.


Harry followed the girl up the side of the room to the front while Dean Winslow was introducing him. He slipped over a couple tables to grab his notes and then came back to wait his turn.

His lips were still tingling from moments before. He was smiling like a crazy person and didn't care.

"He has proved himself a scholar and a man of character in the time he's spent at our fine university. Ladies and gentlemen, your class elected speaker, Mr. Harry Styles!"

Harry walked on stage to a modest round of applause. He shook hands with the Dean, put on a fake smile for the man, and took his place at the microphone.

"Thank you," he greeted while everyone settled, "My name is Harry. Most of you probably know me as the senator's son," he put quotes around it, "or you're parents might work with my father, but I have made at least a few friends while I was here," he said jokingly.

"I don't know if you all even care about my parents, or who I am, but I'm honored that my fellow students thought highly enough of me that they wanted to hear what I had to say on such a special night," Harry looked around for Louis.

He wasn't at the table. Did he leave? Did Harry mess this up? And he didn't even get a chance to clear things up. He looked back to his notes. "I have so much to say."

Harry glanced at the table again but Louis still wasn't there. He continued, "This school has done so much for me. Given me so many opportunities. They've given me a top notch education. Opportunities of a lifetime," his voice sounded fake even to his own ears. He wrote the speech a long time ago, before everything, and now he realized just how ignorant he'd been.

Harry kept going back to their table hoping Louis would appear. He didn't. Maybe he sat somewhere else so he wouldn't have to try and get back to the front.

He looked to every table he could see in the dark room, but he didn't see the face he'd seen in his dreams so many nights.

He has to be here. He wouldn't leave me...would he? Maybe Harry finally pushed Louis too far. Louis must've left.

Harry let the realization hit him. He'd finally lost Louis for good. Even after he tried to make him understand. Now he'd never get the chance.

He finished checking each table and when he came up empty he looked down at his notes again. The words were hollow and deceiving.

Harry decided that if he couldn't be honest with Louis, he might as well be honest with himself. He turned his notes face down and took a breath in preparation for what he was about to do.

He looked up to his fellow students with something real to say. "This school has given me so much. Including a chance at a future. A future that I can be proud of," he looked to each attentive face in the audience and relished in the fact that their passive demeanors would soon turn upside down.

"A chance to be with someone that I love."

Chapter Text

"A chance to be with someone that I love."

Louis couldn't be hearing this right. Was Harry really saying what Louis thought he was saying? Louis stood up from the wall and took a shocked step forward.

"This school gave me so many good things. But it only gave me one really great thing. This school helped me find the love of my life. I've waited so long for someone that could possible see past all the stuff that's wrong in my life and see me for who I hope to be one day. A good man. A man that is able to love, truely, passionately, and forever."

Louis wasn't walking on his own accord. His body was propelling him towards those words he'd long to hear.

"I've never been able to accept who I really am. I've always had such strict rules and expectations for my life. But now, none of that matters. I chose to defy expectations in favor of the chance to love and be loved in return."

He walked closer, passing the last row of tables now.

"I chose to love someone that deserves so much better than me. Someone that is beautiful, and forgiving, and strong, and brave. All of the things I long to be."

Louis was still passing tables, about halway to the front now.

Harry's eyes were fogging with emotion and unshed tears as he looked out towards his fellow students, confusion covering their faces. He looked from right to left, taking in the calm before the storm. He stopped halfway, seeing the glowing blue eyes he'd learned to know so well.

Louis was here. Louis was walking towards him.

Harry grabbed the mic from the podium and walked down the front steps and stood on the floor in front of the stage.

"I just wish that I could show them how I feel."

"Show her, then!" someone shouted from the darkness.

Harry laughed into the mic. "I would, but I don't want to show her."

The silence were defeaning as Louis finally made it to the front and stood in front of Harry.

"I want to show him," Harry said and dropped the mic behind him on the stage without looking away and pulled Louis into a passionate, longing kiss.

The entire audience sounded a gasp at the same time.

Louis wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled him down to deepen the kiss. Harry went willingly and wrapped his arms around Louis' waist. They pushed and pulled, and fought against and with each other, until someone grabbed Louis by the shoulder and pulled them apart.

Louis turned around, dazed and swaying, to see the Dean, red-faced and breathing fire.

"Get out," he said low but with force.

"No," Harry said just a strong, but a little louder.

"You too, Harry. Both of you, leave my university. Now."

Everyone was watching but not saying a single word, mouths open and eyebrows shot up.

Harry was going to say something angry back, but Louis put a hand to his cheek and shook his head.

"Let's go," he whispered.

Harry opened his mouth to protest that they had just as much right to be here as anyone, but Louis' watery smile shut him up. Harry kissed Louis' forehead and allowed Louis to take his hand. They gave a last grazing look over the crowd before walking, hand in hand, down the middle of the room and out the large, wooden doors.

Chapter Text

As soon as the doors closed beind them, Harry was being pressed against them.

"I can't believe you just did that," Louis sputtered in awe as he kissed up and down the column of Harry's neck. "I can't believe you just fucking came out," Louis bit down on the sensitive skin under Harry's chin and Harry yelped.

Oh my God...I just came out. Shit that's not what it felt like. It didn't feel like coming out. Harry supposed that the need to make things right with Louis as a person overshadowed his gender. But he did it. He'd just come out. To friends and strangers alike. In front of the Dean. Shit.

Harry whined as Louis undid his top few buttons and mouthed at his collarbones. "Public, Lou," was all Harry could get out. Forming proper sentences proved to be too much at this moment.

Louis laughed, airy and distracted, but stopped. "Then let's go somewhere more private," he murmured into Harry's hair. He grabbed Harry's hand in his and pulled them towards the exit.

Harry stumbled after and couldn't help but smile. He crowded into Louis while the walked and said, "Your car. My place is closer."

Louis hummed in agreement and walked faster. Louis located his car quickly and pulled his keys out to unlock it from ten feet away. They got in and Louis put the car in reverse without even seat belting first.

Harry leaned over and unbutton Louis' trousers. He unzipped them and pulled both layers down to uncover Louis' soft cock.

"Fuck, Harry. What are-" Harry cut him off when he picked Louis up in is hand and closed his lips around Louis' head. "Shiiiit, Harry," Louis groaned and swerved just a little on the road. He gripped the wheel tighter and tried to focus on the dark cement.

Harry felt Louis get thicker, filling up in between his lips. Harry moaned at the feeling and lowered down on Louis. It'd been so long since he'd tasted Louis, got to feel him in his mouth, on his tongue. He savored it, licking back and forth over the curve of him. Harry could hear Louis measuring his breathing above him, taking extra long breaths in and out. Harry loved that he made Louis need to control himself, but he'd like it better if Louis lost control.

He hollowed his cheeks and added a twist on every bob down. Louis' hips left the seat and pushed into Harry's mouth. "Jesus fu-Harry," Louis groaned. Harry smiled internally and moved faster. He didn't even notice when the car stopped moving. Louis had to pull Harry off with a, "Here. Upstairs. Now."

Harry kissed Louis' cock one more time and sat up. Louis tucked himself back in his pants, zipped, but didn't button them. He grabbed the keys and they walked, almost ran, into Harry's building. Harry was flushed and must have looked a little crazed dragging a flustered Louis, with his pants undone, behind him. Still, he gave a polite waved to the manager, who gave a knowing smirk as they passed.

Once in the elevator Harry put his code in for the top floor and turned back to Louis. Louis' eyes weren't on Harry's face. Harry coughed playfully and Louis' eyes snapped up to see Harry smirking at him.

"See something you like?"

"No," Harry faultered but Louis just smiled, "See someone I love."

Harry would've laughed at how cheesy it was if Louis' face wasn't so serious. Instead he pulled Louis in with a hand on his hip and kissed the corner of his mouth. "You're too good for me."

Louis laughed loud just as the door opened and pushed Harry back into his apartment. "You're a liar. And liars should be punished, Harry," Louis quipped as he turned Harry around and gave him a light spanking to send him onwards down the hall to his room.

Harry squeaked and his mouth fell open in mock shock. He ran off down the hall and waited for Louis to catch up while he took his clothes off. Louis joined him when he was topless and working on his fly. Louis had already undone his zipper again and pulled his trousers down. Harry was eager to follow suit and soon they were both in just their tight black briefs.

It was Harry's turn to let his eyes roam. Louis had toned up since Harry last saw him shirtless. Now instead of faint lines to indicate what could be serious muscle, Louis had defined curves showing where each ab sat on his toned stomach. His v-cuts were pronounced and his arms were thicker, biceps round. If Louis was trying to make Harry regret his decision to let him go, even for a second, he was succeeding.

Harry closed the space with slow steps, devoring Louis with no shame. Louis, for his part, wasn't backing down. He kept a strong gaze on Harry's face as he stood under assessment. When Harry's chest came flush to Louis', Louis tilted his chin up and said, "So?"

"I'm an idiot."

Louis tried to keep his smile contained. "Why's that?"

"I can't believe I let you go. Gave someone else the chance to have you. I almost missed my chance."

"No you didn't."

"Louis you're amazing. Smart, funny, kind, and fucking fit. I'm so scared that one more minute and I would have been replaced."

"No. You wouldn't of. I got offers, Harry," Harry flinched uncomfortably, "But I didn't want anyone but you. I probably would've stayed celibate forever if you hadn't taken me back."

"I'm not taking you back," Harry walked backwards, taking Louis with him, and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled Louis down to staddle him. "I'm asking you to take me back. I was wrong in letting you go. Now it's completely up to you if I get to have you again."

Louis eyes went soft, but he scoffed. "I was always your, Haz. And I think I never really let you go. So you were always mine. Even when it hurt."

Harry'd hurt Louis. He knew he had, but hearing it made everything twice as bad. "I'm so sorry. I'll spend as long as it takes to make it up to you. But I promise I'll never," he kissed the first It of Louis' tattoo, "ever," then the last Is, "let you go again."

"Prove it," Louis demanded.

Harry nodded seriously and grabbed Louis under his legs. He stood up and flipped them so Louis was laying on the bed and Harry was hovering over him in one motion. He slipped his boxers off quickly and pulled Louis' down after. Louis eyebrows were knit together but his eyes were wide with anticipation.

Harry lowered down between Louis legs and kissed him. Kissed him hard. So he would know how sorry he was, how terrible he felt, how lucky he felt. Louis seems to get the idea when he wrapped his legs around Harry's waist and pulled him closer. Their hard cocks rubbed together between their stomachs, making them both moan.

Harry was suddenly still, biting his lip. Louis put his fingers to Harry's cheek and gave him a reassuring smile, "What's wrong?"

Harry was looking at Louis' lips, cheeks, chin, hair, but not his eyes. Louis moved his fingers to grip Harry's chin and made him look in his eyes. Harry sighed, "I don't know what I'm doing. I've never done this before."

Louis' smile was soft. He was so enamored with this boy that could go from sex god to shy child in seconds. "Let me," Louis said and rolled them over so he was staddling Harry again. He leaned over Harry and reached for the lube and condoms he kept in the bedside table. He returned with the supplies and a big grin, showing Harry his treasures. Harry laughed and nodded.

Louis dropped the condom beside them and opened the lube. He went to put the lube on his fingers but Harry hit his hand out of the way and held his own out. "Let me," he echoed Louis. Louis kissed the palm of Harry's offered hand and squeezed a generous amount onto Harry's fingers. Harry just held his fingers there and bit his lip nervously. Louis rubbed up and down his chest, calming him, and said, "Start with one. Be gentle. Go slow."

Harry nodded, taking in all the instructions. Harry reached a hand around Louis and felt where his cheek curved down to his hole. He trailed his finger across that curve and to where Louis' was on show. When he reached the sensitive skin Louis' hips twitched a little, back into Harry's hands.

Harry tried to keep his hand from shaking. He felt all around Louis' hole, felt him clench. Harry made a content sound. Louis kept his eyes open and on Harry, looking for any sign that he wasn't ready for this. But Harry seemed completely at peace. His hand was shaking, but he looked ready. "Go ahead," Louis whispered.

Harry swallowed and pushed one finger in slowly. Louis' eyes fell shut and let his head fall between his shoulders. Harry was amazed. This was really happening. He had a finger inside his boyfriend! Harry kept pushing it in slowly until it was in to the base. Louis took a long breath and opened his eyes to see Harry watching him intently.

Louis smiled. "Feels so good, baby."

Harry smiled and sighed at the nickname. He pulled his finger out and pushed it back in. Louis whined high in his throat and his legs spread a little wider over Harry. Harry pumped his finger into Louis faster until Louis was rocking back on it.

"Another," Louis breathed.

Harry obeyed and pushed the second finger in next to the first one. Louis laid down on Harry and delivered kiss after kiss to Harry's neck and jaw while Harry pumped both fingers into Louis in rhythm.

"Good, baby. You're doing so well."

Harry rolled up into Louis and felt his hard cock rub against the new texture of Louis' abs. He moaned and pushed his fingers harder into Louis.

"Fuck! Yes, Harry!" Harry's hand still, but Louis pushed back on his fingers desperately. "Don't, don't stop," he begged and shook his head in Harry's neck.

"What did I do wrong?"

Louis raised his head up and smiled adoringly at his boyfriend. "Nothing, you're perfect. You just hit my prostate. It's good. Like when I ate you out."

Harry moaned, remembering. "Good," he recalled dreamily.

"Keep going, please." Louis hands found Harry's shoulders and he dug his fingers into the flesh. Harry continue with his fingers, moving harder, and trying to aim for that same spot he hit earlier. He hit it a couple times, but mostly he was lost. Louis was pushing back on Harry's fingers with purpose and finally said, "Inside me. Now, please. I need-please."

Harry took his fingers out and reached for the condom while Louis sat back up. Louis took the package from Harry and opened it himself. He bent over and took the head of Harry's cock in his mouth, sucking hard.

"Shit, Lou," Harry hissed. Louis smirked around Harry then pulled off. He rolled the latex down Harry's length slowly, squeezing as he went. Harry's hand were gripping Louis' thighs with the effort of staying still.

When Louis finished with the condom he picked up the lube and slicked Harry up, twisting his fist a couple times before pulling his hand away. Harry's eyes were screwed shut and his head was pushed sideways into the pillow.

"Open your eyes, baby. You're gonna want to see this. Trust me."

Harry's eyes popped open and he looked to where Louis was lifting himself up and lining himself up with Harry's tip. Harry watched on, hands tight on Louis' thighs, while Louis lowered himself down inch by inch.

Harry wasn't sure what was better. The feeling on Louis' vice-like grip on his cock, or the sight of his cock disapprearing inside Louis above him. He couldn't believe it. Inch after inch went from naked to clothed in Louis' smooth walls. It was incredible. He couldn't focus on one thing. The warmth. The tightness. Louis' red cock, twitching between them. Louis' face, mouth open, cheeks pink. Louis' hot skin under his hands. It was all so much.

Louis sat still, Harry's cock buried deep inside him, for a few minutes. Harry watched every minute change in Louis' face. The way his mouth relaxed into a slightly slack state as he adjusted. His eyes, that were shut tight, now fluttering open and focusing on his hands on Harry's chest. Louis flicked out his tongue and ran it over his lips. His furrowed his brows and lifted up on his legs.

Harry felt the difference of going from Louis' warmth to the cold air for the first time and couldn't help when his nails made moon shapes in Louis' skin. Louis pulled up until just Harry's head was still tucked inside him. They both paused, Louis let out an even sigh, and fell back down to Harry's hips.

Louis groaned while Louis' name was ripped out of Harry's throat in a choked whisper. Louis smiled at Harry's response to him and started with small bounces. He was barely taking a couple inches in and out at first, staying deep and moving in circles while he moved up and down.

"God, Lou. You're amazing. This is-fuck," Louis sat down on Harry with extra force, "so amazing."

Louis was moving faster now, lifting higher and pushing down harder, riding Harry. Harry kept still as long as he could, but soon he was rocking his hips up, chasing Louis' warmth. He pushed up as Louis pushed down. They moved in sync with each other, the sounds of Harry's grunts and Louis' high-pitched ahs as the soundtrack to the greatest night of their lives.

They were moving together while the heat built and Louis let out a needy, "Harder, Harry." Harry pushed up harder, but couldn't get enough force so he turned them over and pounded into Louis with all his weight behind it. "Fuck! Yes, Harry," Louis moaned.

Harry loved the new depth he could reach inside Louis now and used it, pushing in deeper and harder. He was pretty sure he'd hit Louis' prostate because Louis arched up to Harry's body and screamed. Harry thrusted in at the same angle and Louis screamed again, but breathier this time.

He kept at it, hitting that one spot again and again. Louis was chanting swear words, mostly short fuckfuckfuck's, and before long he warned Harry, "Close."

Harry was reeling. He did this. Made Louis pant, and moan, and swear because of him. Harry could feel his whole body set on fire. The fire tore through him and he pushed in deep and filled the condom.

Louis felt the rush of Harry's cum inside him and came between them. He rocked his hips thought it. Trying to keep up with Harry's still relentless pounds as he rode out his high.

They slowed and breathed and Harry pulled out and fell next to Louis. Louis reached over and pull the filthy rubber off and tied it up before throwing it in the bin by the bed.

Harry was too dazed to register anything, besides bucking up involuntarily when Louis removed the soiled condom.

But then he felt Louis' arms scoop him up and wrap him tight. He went pliantly and snuggled into Louis' chest.

"Amazing, baby."

Harry couldn't agree more.

Chapter Text

Louis and Harry spent nearly a solid twenty-four hours in bed. It's not like they had school the next day. Or the next. Or ever. Louis was pretty sure that they'd just lost any chance they had at getting a degree, at having a higher education, at a future. No. They had a future. With each other. That's what mattered.

That and Harry, right now, asleep on Louis' chest. Louis kept running the entire night over in his mind. Enjoy his favorite parts, critizing where he think he did wrong. But mostly he was just so surprised at himself. He never bottomed. Ever. But Harry is new, and fresh, and virgin. Louis couldn't rightfully, in the mind set he was in last night, calm himself to make sure he was gentle enough with Harry. And he'd hate himself forever if he hurt his baby.

Baby. Yes, sir. He follows instructions so well.

All of the things that Louis wanted so badly to investigate, but didn't last night. All of the things that Harry doesn't even realize he's doing. Louis couldn't imagine what it would be like once Louis finally got to know what Harry felt like inside. His eyes fluttered shut at the thought.

He must've made a noise because Harry stirred on his chest. His nose twitched and he opened one eye at a time to the late afternoon sun. "Lou?"

"Hazza," Louis sighed and ran his hands over Harry's arm that was laid across his stomach.

Harry propped himself up to look at Louis and smiled so wide Louis thought his dimples might pop. "You're amazing."

Louis laughed. Was this kid for real? Louis' incredible? "You are rediculous. If anyone is amazing, it's you, Harry Styles."

Harry leaned down and kissed Louis quick and sweet. "I'm going to go shower and brush my teeth."

"Your toothbrush is in the cabinet."

Harry's face held a small bit of shock at the news. "You still have it? After I..."

"Yeah," Louis ducked his head down into Harry's neck. "I still have your Stones shirt. And your purple head scarf too. They're in the closet."

"Louis," Harry was dumbfounded. "You're way too good for me."

Louis hit his side gently. "I told you none of that."

Harry laughed. "Okay, okay." He slid out of bed and let the covers fall off him. Louis couldn't help it when his eyes trailed over Harry's smooth body. He must've dug his nails in while he was riding him because he had red cresent moons and tiny scratches that matched the spaces of his outstretched fingers.

Harry was smirking by the time Louis' eyes wandered back up to his face. Louis rolled his eyes. "Shower."

Harry nodded and skipped off to clean up. He left the bedroom and the bathroom door open. "Besides," he called from the other room while he turned on the water. "we have to clean up so we can go get my car from the school." Even before Louis could scoff, Harry interrupted, "I know. But we'll need to return our books and things anyway so we don't have to go back."

Louis couldn't believe Harry was talking about it like it was nothing. He lost his education. But Harry didn't sound remotely upset. "Harry?"

Louis heard light footsteps and then Harry leaned around the doorframe. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

Harry stepped in to stand on the threshold and gave a half smile. "I'm happy with my decision." Louis nodded without looking at Harry. "Shower with me?"

Louis gave a small laugh. "What is with the couple's showers?"

Harry shrugged and turned to walk off. "Saves water," he lilted.

Louis tried to keep his fond smile off his face but just bit his lip and let it happen. He got out of the warm bed and padded off to the bathroom where Harry was already under the spray. The door did little to blur Harry's figure and Louis gave a moment of appriciation before joining him.

Harry squeaked when Louis's cold fingers gripped his waist. He turned and ran his hands over Louis' shoulders to wrap loosely around his neck. He brought his nose to Louis' cheek and let Louis' scent seep into him. Louis whispered small nothings while they let the water wash away the outside world.

"I love you." "Amazing." "My baby." Harry pushed closer at that one and let his head fall on Louis' shoulder. "My baby? You like being my baby so much, don't you?"

Harry nodded against Louis' shoulder and sighed. "Yes, please."

Louis kept his growl from passing his lips and held Harry tighter. "I'll always choose you," he said instead.

"You choose me." It wasn't a question, more like Harry was letting the words sink in.

"I do."

Louis grabbed the shampoo and starting washing Harry's hair clean of sweat and a little cum that somehow made it all the way up there. They washed each other, hands never leaving for more than a second or two. Their shower consisted of more cuddles and kisses than anything, but a half hour later they were clean and giddy.

Chapter Text

The school was fairly busy, the last afternoon classes just got out. But they bypassed the classroom buildings and drove to the formal hall. Harry's car was one of only a couple still in the lot. Louis pulled up next to it and Harry got out and grabbed his bag from the backseat. He got back in Louis' car and started taking out the book he'd rented from the school.

"Let's get this over with," Louis sighed. "Grab mine from the back too."

Harry reached behind him and pulled out Louis' textbooks too. Together they drove over to the library and went to the bookstore. Before they got even ten feet into the building people were whispering and looking at them. Harry's steps were getting slower and more unsure, so Louis leaned up and kissed his cheek. Harry looked at him and Louis settled him with a smile and a nod.

They kept going to the desk with their books. Harry set his down first, making the student worker's head pop up. Her eyes went wide when she saw who it was. But she controlled herself quickly. Louis wrapped a hand around his waist anyway and Harry sank into him.

"I'd like to return these, please." Harry's voice was kind, but Louis could hear the nerves running through it.

"Of course," the girl said awkwardly. She took Harry's books and typed the serial numbers into the computer. She glanced up a couple times to watch them, but Louis ignored her and kept reassuring Harry quietly.

"Okay, you're okay. She can't help but look at you. I mean, look at you," he teased. Harry laughed and the girl's lips curved up for just a moment.

"Yours?" she said and held her hand out for Louis' books. Louis handed them over and continued running his fingers in small circles over Harry's hips. She did the same with Louis' books. During the last one she was getting more and more fidgety. Finally she finished and looked up at them with determined eyes.

She stood up and leaned over the counter so she could say quietly, "I think it's shit that they suspended you."

Suspended? Harry wasn't even sure what happened after they left, but apparently the Dean was quick with the paperwork.

"Thanks," Louis said for them and led Harry back towards the door. Someone got up and stood in front of them.

"Harry and Louis, right?" Harry nodded. "My name's Kat. That's my girlfriend, Lacie," she pointed to the petite blond sitting across from her seat. "We're really proud of you guys."

Harry face broke into a shy smile. "Thank you. You guys make a lovely couple," he said.

Kat nodded with bright eyes. "Thanks. You guys are cute too. The Dean's an ass. It's got to be illegal, right?"

"It is," Louis assured her. "Discrimination."

"That's bullshit," Lacie muttered frustrated.

Kat leaned over and kissed the top of her head before turning back to the boys. "She's right. There's got to be something we can do."

"Look. This is a great school. Despite the person who leads it. The professors and students deserve to go to a school with a proper reputation. Making this into something big will only be bad for everyone."

So Harry's thought about this. Louis didn't agree, but he could see where Harry was coming from.

"Just sucks," Kat relented.

Louis nodded and gave polite goodbyes while he ushered Harry out of the building. People were still staring, still having hushed conversations about them, as they walked back to Louis' car.

Louis' pants buzzed and pulled out his phone. Liam's name lit up the screen. He stopped and answered it, "Hey, Payno."

Are you and Harry at the school?

"Yeah. How'd you know?"

Word travels. Everyone's talking about you. The seniors started speading the news about what happened last night, and within hours everyone knew. Then when you guys didn't show up today people starting showing up at the Dean's office. Eventually he just told everyone that he suspended you guys for unceremonious conduct. Whatever that is.

"Shit. So we really are suspended. We figured something like that. Just came to return our books, but we're leaving now."

No! Come here. Zayn and I are in the art building. Niall's around somewhere. I'll call him.

"We can't stay, Liam, we're suspended from campus."

Trust me. We have to talk.

Louis sighed and told Liam they'd be there in a minute. "Liam wants to talk to us. He's in the art studio."

"Are you sure? We should probably go."

"That's what I said, but he really wants to talk to us."

They made their way to the others while people sent them furtive glances and tried not to let their hushed tones drift to far. Louis was already tired of the talk. He just wanted to yell at them that yes we're fucking gay!, then rip Harry's clothes off and fuck him in front of everyone just to prove it.

He had a firm grip on Harry's hand until they reached the small, brightly lit building. He loosened it with relief and pulled Harry along to the open studio. Liam had his arms loosely around Zayn's waist and his head on Zayn's shoulder, while Zayn swiped loose strokes across the canvas. Liam tilted his head and nipped at Zayn's earlobe, making Zayn giggle.

Louis smiled at the relaxed display of affection. "Hey guys."

Liam looked up and let go of Zayn. "Jesus. You guys are insane!" He came over and hugged Harry first, but didn't let go, instead he held him tight and pet his curls. Well gee, thanks, best friend. "Harry you're so brave. I can't believe you did that."

Louis coughed and Liam pulled back with a laugh. "I'm so proud of you too Tommo," Liam said and hugged Louis tight. Zayn gave them both hugs and, once he took in all of Louis, winked at him.

How does he always know?

Louis ignored it and turned to Liam, "What's so important?"

"Hold on. Let's wait for-"

"Holy fuck balls! I hate you guys!" Niall yelled through the open door.

"Hello to you too, Ni," Louis scoffed.

Niall threw himself at Louis and Harry and pulled them into a group hug. "I thought you guys were fighting, or not fighting, I don't know 'cause no one tells me a damn thing." He hit Louis on the back of the head.


"You never tell me anything."

"Harry didn't either!"

"I'd never hit Harry," Niall says like it's the most preposterous thing he's ever heard. Harry laughed while Louis rubbed his head and Niall closed the door. "Let get this meeting on the roll."

"Meeting?" Harry asked.

They went and sat down at a drawing table. "You won't believe what people are saying," Liam started. "They're pissed. Everyone loves Harry." Louis wanted to be offended, but really, he couldn't blame them. "And this new boyfriend of his is so cute," Liam air-quoted.

Zayn continued for him, "They've raised some hell already. Groups were crowding the Dean's office this morning. Someone even made a petition to get you guys back. It's roaming around the campus somewhere."


"Our Capstone is planning to talk to Lindon tomorrow in class about what we can do so you don't fail the class," Niall added.

"How the?"

"You guys did something crazy. Harry used his graduation dinnner speech to not only come out, but confess his love for you. It's bound to get some attention," Niall explained.

"Plus, Louis, you're well-known in half the circles around here, and Harry's known in the other half. You've got the whole student body on your side," Zayn added.

Harry took Louis' hand and squeezed it encouragingly. Louis only just realized his mouth was hanging open in shock.

"Look guys. We really appriciate the support. It means a lot, but we don't want any trouble," Harry admitted.

"Harry, this is big," Niall tried.

Harry stood firm, "It's big for us. This is just us."

Louis wanted to disagree, to tell him that this was their chance to shove it to the Dean and this school. But Harry was so adadmant. Louis knew this wasn't something he could convince Harry to change his mind about, like wanting Chinese instead of Mexican, or to watch Big Brother instead of Project Runway. This was something Harry knew his stance on.

"Guys," Louis sighed, "Thank you but no thank you. We'd just like to move on from here. Start something new, ya know." Louis knew he sounded defeated, even sad, but he just wanted to get out of here, away from this place, and people's prying eyes.

Chapter Text

"Harry, she's called twenty times," Louis tried to reason with him.

"I can't talk to her right now, Lou."

Louis groaned in frustration and took Harry's phone, still ringing, from his hands. He pressed the green answer button and put it to his ear. Harry reached for it but Louis turned away and said a quick, "Hello?"

Louis I presume.

"Yes ma'am."

Where's Harry at?

"He's, um, in the shower at the moment," as soon as Louis said it he knew it wasn't the right thing to say.

He showers with you there?

"Um, I'm not in the bathroom, ma'am. I promise." Louis couldn't believe he was actually trying to get this woman, this twisted, manipulative woman, to like him. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis to try and reach the phone, but I just tickled him and he laughed and squealed, "Harry!"

What? Is he alright?

Louis pushed Harry back and cleared his throat. "What can I help you with, Mrs. Twist?"

You? You can do nothing for me. I would like to speak to my son, not his puppet master.

Louis eyes narrowed at the comment. Not because she insulted him, but because she insinuated that Harry wasn't in control of his own decisions. Which he very much was. Louis was this close to telling her as much, but he took a deep breath and said instead, "I'm sorry, Mrs. Twist, right now he's busy. But I know Harry would like very much to see you. Talk things out."

Harry hit Louis on the shoulder and gave him the 'what the fuck??' look. Louis gave him the 'what??' look back and kept talking.

"He'd like to explain some things you might have heard. Maybe I can explain some things as well."

Look Louis, Anne cut him off, I'd love to see Harry and you at our house tomorrow night for dinner.



"We'd love to! We'll see you then," Louis agreed. He hung up and dropped Harry's phone on the couch. He turned around to a very annoyed looking Harry. "What?"

"So we're meeting my mom for, what, drinks? Brunch?"

"Dinner. At the house. Tomorrow night."

"Louis!" Harry threw his hands out.


"You know I don't want to see her. She'll have nothing to say that I need to hear."

"I don't know. She seemed very eager to see you Harry."

Harry was barely convinced. Whatever is was she wanted, Harry refused to give it to her. "You don't know her like I do."

Louis flinched at that. "I know. And that sucks. I want to. I want to get along with my boyfriends mom."

Harry broke and pulled Louis in to hug him. "I know. I'm sorry. I can't wait to go home with you on holiday and meet your mom."

"That's great. Meanwhile, your mom still hates me."

"She hates me too if it makes you feel better."

It didn't but Louis laughed softly anyway. "Give me a chance to change her mind. I can be very persuasive."

Harry ran a hand down to Louis' ass and gave it a squeeze, "Don't I know it."

Louis giggled and pushed into Harry. "Please?"

Harry sighed, loud and long, "Fine. Fine, but I don't want you to expect too much."

"I expect the world, Harold. That's why I always win," Louis said as he squeezed Harry in his arms.


Knock! Knock!

A minute later the large wooden door swept open in front of Harry's face. Louis peeked over Harry's shoulder to see.

"Harry, son." Robin reached out a hand and shook Harry's firmly.

"Robin. Thank you for having us over."

"Of course, Harry. This is your house too." Robin looked over Harry's shoulder and saw Louis straining to see without being seen. "Louis."

Harry rolled his eyes and pulled Louis next to him with an arm around his waist. "He's nervous."

Robin barked a laugh. "With your mother around, I don't blame him."

Harry squeezed around Louis and said, "Can we come in?"

Robin shook his head, "Of course, sorry." He opened the door wider and let them in.

Anne appeared from around the corner. "Harry, sweetheart," Anne gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and turned to Louis, "Louis." No kiss on the cheek. No hug. No handshake. One word. Well this was going swimmingly.

"Mrs. Twist. Nice to see you again."

Anne just hummed at that and walked back to the kitchen. Not sure why, Harry thought, she doesn't cook, she just stands in the doorway and orders the chef to do things her way.

Robin gave them an apologetic look and lead them to the family room. Harry sat down and pulled Louis to him. He locked their fingers together and knocked his knee against Louis'.

"How've you been Harry? Since the surgery I mean. Everything feel alright?"

The surgery. Wow, that seemed like a life time ago when really it was only a couple months. He should really still be reeling from major, life-saving surgery.

"Fine. Yeah, fine. How's work?"

"Going well. I'm working on closing a very big deal for a partnership with a rival company."

"Oh wow. Who is it?"

"I'm working closely with a very savvy business man named Cameron Reynolds," Louis nearly choked on air, "He's got everything from corner stores to major markets under his thumb."

Louis was taking short breaths and Harry turned to him, "Babe. Are you okay? Breathe." Harry put a hand on Louis' back and rubbed in big circles. Louis sputtered in and out, trying to control himself.

"Who did you say?" Louis coughed out.

Robin looked concerned but answered, "Cameron Reynolds. Why? You can't possibly know him. No offense, of course." Harry spared him a 'yeah, right' glance and checked to make sure Louis was inhaling properly.

"And you're going into business with him?" Louis asked a bit more composed.

"Yes. Well that's the plan. We're nearly decided. And once it's done, we'll be the two most powerful business men in the country."

Louis was nodding numbly, while Harry watched him closely. "Wow. That's...something," Louis feigned nonchalance, a little late.

"It should be," Robin agreed.

"Dinner is ready," Anne announced from the entry way. They all rose and made their way to the dining room while Harry shot Louis suspicious or concerned glances.

Chapter Text

"I've told them, multiple times, you can't allow a proposition like this to pass us by," Anne went on even though no one was listening. Well maybe Robin was, he always seemed to be raptured by Anne when she talked. Weird.

"You're right," he said. "They should vote it through."

"Thank you, dear," Anne was pleased he had one more vote on her side. She turned to Harry, who had been to distracted by Louis' nervous finger fiddling and leg bouncing to pay attention. "What do you think, Harry?"

Harry's head snapped back across the large table to his mom's wondering gaze. "That's great, Mom."

Anne sighed and said, "Ive taught you better manners than that, Harry. Listen when someone is speaking."

I listen when Louis is speaking... "Sorry, Mom."

They stared at each other for a long awkward minute before Robin coughed and said, "Well, I'm sure you've guessed, Harry and Louis, that we invited you to dinner for a reason."

They both looked to Robin. Louis reached for Harry's hand in his lap and Harry granted it without looking.

"We have a deal for you. We know that Dean Winslow suspended you both until after graduation. But we convinced him to wait on expulsion because your mother and I," Robin glanced to Anne, "think we can make some sense of what happened."

"You mean you think you can split us up," Harry countered.

Robin shook his head. "No Harry, I think we all know that ship has sailed. What you're mother and I are asking for is discretion."

"Discretion?" Louis repeated.

"Yes, Louis. Discretion is important in our lives. I assume you have no need for it," Anne spat with a sugar sweet tone.

Harry squeezed Louis' hand and glared at his mom while Robin put a hand on Anne's shoulder. Harry had never seen his mom so unhinged. She was still and polite, but Harry could tell she was vibrating with anger and nerves.

"What do you mean by discretion?" Harry continued.

Robin rubbed his palms together and tried to explain it gently. "We would like for you to take an extended holiday. For a little while."

"What?" Harry's voice shot up.

"Somewhere far. Still in the United States of course, but far enough away that we can separate from any issues," Robin tiptoed gently over his words.

"You want to ship is off so, what, our gayness doesn't effect you?"

"Your mother is up for another term next year and I'm in the biggest business deal of my life, Harry. We can't afford a scandal right now. You pick the place. Anywhere that's at least ten hours away. We'll provide the housing, cars, whatever you need."

"I can't believe you!"

"And you'll be able to graduate and I won't make you work for me Harry. I'll use my connections to get you any job you like," Robin added quickly.

Harry's next argument died in his throat.

"Harry," Louis mumbled.

Harry looked next to his where Louis was wide-eyed and squeezing his hand tight.

"We'll need a minute," Harry informed them.

"Of course," Robin agreed and led Anne out of the dining room.

It's like a dam broke inside Louis and he just started talking a million miles a minute. "This is it, Harry. Everything you've wanted. We can stay together. We can graduate. And you don't have to follow in your Dad's footsteps. He's letting you choose anything you want! This is what you want!"

Harry was shaking his head already, "I don't want to hide."

"But it's only for a little while. Plus I hate this fucking city anyway." Harry tried for a laugh but it came out as a weak grimace. "I don't get it, Harry. I thought this is what you wanted."

"I've been hiding my whole life. My parents have always kept me a secret. The real me. I hated myself because of them. Then I met you and I found a reason not to hide anymore. And I just came out two days ago," tears fell silently from Harry's tired eyes, "I finally did it. I don't want to hide again."

Louis let out a heavy breath and brought Harry to him. He wrapped small fingers in his hair and soothed him with whispers of "I get it, baby." "No more." "I love you. We won't hide."

Louis held him until his tears soaked his shoulder and his face was red. Harry pulled back with embarrassment. "Sorry."

"No," Louis said firmly and held Harry's face between his hands. "I'm sorry. I'll never ask you to hide again."

Harry nodded weakly in Louis' hands. "I love you," he croaked and pursed his lips for a kiss. Louis chuckled and met Harry's request.

No deal. No more hiding.

Chapter Text

After Harry broke the news that they had no intentions of moving away to hide, Anne decided that there was nothing left to talk about and showed them the door.

Louis held Harry close while they walked to their car, then held his hand while he drove, and held him tighter as they went back to Louis' place and fell asleep with their clothes on.


Louis woke up too early and couldn't go back to sleep. He tried to lay still with Harry half on top of him, but soon he got antsy and needed to stretch his legs.

His mind was racing. Cameron Reynolds. The one that never happened. A barely anything night. So long ago it should be forgotten. But that was the night that Harry called him for the first time. The first time he saw Harry cry. The first time Harry saw his tiny house. The first night Harry slept in his bed.

He'd never forget a single moment of that night. Including how kind Cameron had been when Louis just left him with he pants undone.

Now he was in works with a man that was ruining his life. There's no way Cameron knows what type of guy he's going into business with. Cameron's gay himself! There's no way.

Louis couldn't wrap his head around it. Had so many questions. But none of the answers where here in his living room.


"What should I make for lunch, babe?" Harry asked from the kitchen.

"Actually," Louis came into the room fully dressed in fresh clothes with wet hair and shifty eyes, "I have some errands to run. But just stay and chill and I'll be back soon."


"Just some errands. I'll go by the store if you want, since I know I never have food."

Harry evaluated him with his gaze but sighed and gave Louis a quick kiss. "Ok, love. See you later."

Louis nodded and grabbed his jacket off the dining chair. He walked to the door with Harry's quick, "Get tomatoes!"

"Okay!" he called and shut it behind him.


"I'm sorry, but if you don't have an appointment I can't let you in. Mr. Reynolds is a very busy man."

Louis hummed, "Very busy indeed. Now look. I only need ten minutes. It's very very important."

"It's not possible-"

"It is possible. Please, please," Louis broke but he steeled himself, "I need to see him. Just for a minute."

The secretary gave him a hard look but sighed, "I'll ask if he can see you. Wait here." She stood up. "Who should I say is asking?"

Louis bit his lip then said, "Um, Will I think."

"You think?" the woman gave him a look and walked around the corner to Cameron's office.

Obviously Louis followed. He kept quiet and stood a couple steps behind her while she knocked and then opened the large wooden door just wide enough to talk comfortably.

"Mr. Reynolds? I know you're in the middle of a contract review, but there is a kid here-"

"Not a kid!" Louis said and opened the door wider. "Excuse me," he said as he pushed past the secretary.

"Who? Will? What are you doing here?"

Louis gave the girl a look to which she scoffed and walked away. He closed the door and came to sit on Cameron's desk. "I need to talk to you."

"You can't just come here, Will. I work here."

"My name's Louis."

Cameron sighed, "Okay, Louis. We can not do this here."

"I'm not-please just let me explain."

"Can you please explain from the chair over there."

Louis looked back at the chair on the other side of the desk and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure." He took the seat and leaned over to rest his forearms on his desk anyway.

"So you know who I am then?" Cameron asked.

"I just recently found out."

"Are you here to spill my secret."

Louis shook his head, "I would never," he sighed. "I'll keep your secret as long as you need me to. That's not why I'm here."

"Then why are you here?"

"You're closing a deal with a man named Robin Twist."

"How do you know that? No one knows that."

"I'm sort of," Louis fumbled with his fingers, "dating his son."

"Wow. Oh, good for you, Louis."

"It is," Louis smiled easily, "It is good for me. But there's a problem."

"I don't do threesomes."

Louis barked a laugh, "That's funny-no I need your help with something else."

"Why don't you just tell me what you need."

Chapter Text

"Harry Edward Styles! What the hell did you do?"

Robin sounded furious. Harry had only heard his voice like this a few times in his life. "I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Don't play with me, Harry. This isn't a game!"

"I'm really confused." Robin showed up at Louis' place after he called and said he need to see Harry right away. He pulled up an hour and a half hour later. Louis had gotten back by then, with tomatoes, and they were making spaghetti for dinner. Harry was freaking out that Robin sounded weird on the phone, but Louis was all smiles. Now Robin was standing in Louis' livingroom, waving his hands around, yelling at Harry.

Louis came and put a hand on Harry's back. Harry sighed and leaned into it. "Mr. Twist, why don't you explain what's going on."

Louis obviously hadn't told Harry where he'd been all afternoon. He knew Harry wouldn't approve of basically blackmailing his father, or taking advantage of a kind business man in the process. But Louis did what he had to for Harry. He just hoped Harry would never know.

"Cameron Reynolds called me." Harry raised his eyebrows in question so Robin kept going. "He's not sure if he can go into business with a man who's son can't even finish school."

Harry fished-mouthed for a couple seconds before Louis interjected. "That's unfortunate."

Robin glared at the smaller boy. "Weird considering he didn't even know I had a son."

That hurt. Robin didn't even bother to mention that Harry existed to his business partners. "Well now he does!" Harry yelled at Robin's red face.

"Harry you can't go around messing with my business! This is none of your concern!"

Harry scoffed in offense. "But you have the right to mess with my education? And when it comes back to bite you in the ass, you blame me?"

"You purposefully interfered with the largest business deal I've ever come across."

Harry's hands were in fists now. Anger was coursing through him. His dad really thought he was the kind of person who would do that? He didn't even care enough to mention him, but he thought Harry would be cruel enough to mess with his livelihood?

"I didn't though," Harry seethed. "I've never even met that Cameron guy. And I wouldn't do that. I'm a better person than you."

Louis stepped between Harry and Robin when it looked like Robin might actually use force on Harry. "If Harry says he didn't do it, then he didn't do it. What happens between you and your business partners is your problem."

Robin took a small step back and rubbed his hand on the back of his neck in agitation. "I don't have any choice now. Cameron says he won't close the deal unless Harry gets his degree. But I refuse to let you get away with this," he spat and looked between the two of them. "You know, Harry, I actually thought I could get used to the idea that my son was sick. That I could at least tolerate your disobedience." He waved his hand at them. "I can't even look at you."

"Me!" Harry was dumbfounded by the amount of ignorance bottled into one man. "You can't look at me? I'm disgusted by you! You're a hypocrite and a heartless man!" Harry hated yelling. Always hated conflict. But he couldn't let himself by put down by someone that obviously didn't love him.

Robin looked defeated. He started to walk towards to the door. "You'll graduate on Saturday. You'll walk the stage, pick up your certificate. And then I want you out of your apartment by Monday. Leave your car in the driveway, keys on the table. Take enough clothes to last a while, but nothing else. I won't support your lifestyle."

Harry was shaking his head numbly, trying not to let the tears fall. "Fine."

Robin nodded facing the door and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Louis immediately wrapped his arms around Harry before he could fall to floor. "Baby, look at me. Harry." Harry picked his head up and looked Louis in the eye. His eyes were brimming with tears that Louis quickly swiped away with his thumb. "We'll be okay."

"I know we will," Harry sniffled. "I'm so happy with you. I knew I was going to loose my parents, no matter what, when I chose you."

"So what's the matter?"

"He doesn't even like me, much less love me. And I know my mom hates me."

Louis pulled Harry closer and pet his loose curls, still messy from air drying after his shower. "Well they're idiots. Anyone that doesn't love you is an idiot. You are the most perfect person in the world. Everyone should love you as much as I do."

Harry gave a weak laugh and wrapped his arms around Louis' middle. "I love you so much."

"I love you more."



Chapter Text

"I shouldn't be here," Harry whispered desperately into Louis' ear while they stood in the large auditorium waiting for their turn to get fitted with their gown.

"Are you kidding?" Louis fixed him with a stern look. "If anyone deserves to be here, it's you. You worked your ass off to complete a degree in two years. You gave up so much for this. You're doing it."

"Everyone is looking at us."

Louis gave the large room a once over. Harry was right. People were glancing nervously, or conspicuously, their way. He tried to glared at all of them at once before turning back to Harry. "Can you blame them? I do have the hottest boy in school on my arm." Harry scoffed but Louis put a hand behind Harry's neck and made him look at Louis. "I mean it. You have every right to be here."

Harry just looked at Louis for a long time. Louis let him. Finally Harry nodded and exhaled a relieved breath. "Yeah."

"Yeah," Louis agreed. They shifted forward in line.

"You'd think they'd get over it. I mean I'm not the only gay guy in this school."

"Hopefully not. Otherwise what I am doing?"

Harry laughed at him and landed a playful punch on his arm. Louis just leaned with the hit and laughed back.


Louis turned to the familiar voice and saw Stan running up to him with a smile. Everyone around seemed to be watching to see what would happen. Louis smiled back and let Stan give him a quick hug. "Hello, Stanley," Louis greeted with a teasing tone.

"I'm so glad you guys are here. When we heard you got suspended-"


"The guys. Everyone, actually." Louis accepted the information with a nod. "Anyway, when he heard we basically stormed Dean Winslow's office."

"You did that?"

"Well I wasn't the only one. But there's no way I was going to let that prick take this away from you because you like a little cock up your ass."

"Heeeeey," Harry whined, "Not little."

Stan barked a laughed and gave Harry's arm a pat. "I'm sure." Harry huffed, but Stan continued, "So we let him know that that shit was, well, shit."

Louis face was soft and fond when he gave Stan a real hug. "Thanks, mate."

Stan squeezed him tight. "Of course. You're my best friend."

Louis gave him one more pat on the back before pulling back. Harry didn't hesitate to reclaim his territory by pulling Louis' arm around his waist and kissing his temple. Louis just chuckled at his boyfriend and nodded to Stan.

"Good luck tomorrow," Stan added before walking away. "We're all routing for you."

Harry turned into Louis and said, "I can't believe everyone's being so cool right now."

Louis smiled, "Not everyone is like your parents, Harry." Harry flinched but Louis kept going, "I mean, I've heard a few negative things, but really I think this school is much more accepting than the power behind it."

"It's crazy."

Louis nuzzled into Harry's neck. "You don't understand how easy you are to love, do you?"

Harry moved his head down so he could kiss Louis, their lips brushing gently together. "I think you underestimate your compacity to love me unconditionally."

Someone coughed behind them and they looked around to realize there was a large gap in front of them in line. Harry waved his hand apologetically and Louis just giggled into Harry's shoulder. The people behind them just turned to each other and whispered things with smiles on their faces.


Like the dinner the graduation line was divded by Capstone, then group, then alphabetically. So Harry stood right in front of Louis. Louis kept reaching forward, giving Harry small, soothing touches whenever he saw Harry getting tense. Harry limbs went loose again every time and he relaxed back into Louis' hands.

He could do this. He's finally getting his degree. This is happening.

"Lindon will announce his Capstone class next," the Dean of Student Affairs directed. Lindon made his way on stage and took the mic. He started listing off the names until he got to their group.

"Niall Horan." There were a few disrupting applauses because everyone loved Niall, but Lindon gave everyone a glare and they settled down. "Zayn Malik." The defiant ones kept up the applause and Zayn bowed cheekily for them before getting off the other side of the stage. "Liam Payne."

A few girls screamed this time and Liam gave them a smirk while Zayn shouted, "Fuck off."

Lindon rolled his eyes and kept going. "Harry Styles."

The entire room went silent. Harry started walking towards the woman that was fake handing them they degrees while everyone sat perfectly still and kept their eyes trained on Harry. Louis couldn't take it anymore and yelled, "I love you, Haz!" from the stairs. Harry tried to keep the smile contained by ducking his head, but he heard a few girls awww and then a few others starting clapping and then everyone was clapping and standing and Harry froze with his hand outstrectched to fake accept his degree. He turned his wide eyes on the students filling the place and smiled brightly. He thanked the woman and finished his walk.

"Louis Tomlinson." The applause continued as Louis ascended to the stage and walked across. A few people whooped but all Louis could see was Harry waiting for him on the other side. Harry was grinning from ear to ear. Louis' face must've matched, if the feeling in his heart was anything to go by. Louis pratically jumped the last few steps to hug Harry tight. Harry held him and let his joy seep into Louis' skin.

"Alright, alright. None of that tomorrow," Lindon warned. "They're just like any other students. Everyone has worked hard to get here. Understand?"

The applause died quickly but Lindon gave the pair a small smile as they went to take their seats.

Chapter Text

The entire auditorium was full of friends, family, and faculty. Harry was outside in the hallway, in line, biting the skin over his knuckle.

"You look good," Louis leaned forward to say.

Harry's finger dropped from his mouth and he smiled over his shoulder. "You look really good, too."

Actually Louis' gown was a bit too long, and Harry's a bit too short. And Harry couldn't quite get his messy quiff to sit right under the cap. And Louis didn't sleep well, filled with anxiety, so he had bags under his eyes.

But here they were. They were graduating. In less than a half hour they'd have the piece of paper in their hands. Free of this place. Of the people that didn't understand, and didn't bother to care.

Niall looked back at them and smiled brightly. Zayn flicked his ear, but then kissed it. Liam laughed at them and pulled them both back into head locks.

Harry's heart was so full. He'd only met these guys nine months ago, but they were like family now. He couldn't imagine his life without each one of them.

Niall's heart was golden. He was a better person than any of them. Zayn was loyal to a tee. Harry knew, no matter what, Zayn would be there. Liam protected their little clique with everything he had. No one got to them without going through him.

And then Louis.

Harry's heart. His sunshine. His reason to wake up and reason to sleep. He dreamed of days filled with Louis' laugh. He wanted to cook with him, read with him, watch chick flicks with him. Then, when they were both tired, fall into their bed together and sleep wrapped up in each other's arms.

They'd been through more than most couples endure in a lifetime. And they'd come out the other side, stronger, and more in love than before. Harry loved Louis like air. Like the breath in his lungs, the blood in his veins. He needed him to live. To survive.

But Harry knew that with Louis he wouldn't just survive. He would thrive. Everyday would be better than the last, learning more about each other constantly.

One day he would find out what Louis' face looked like when offered an engagement band. He'd learn what the words I Do sounded like coming from his mouth underneath a wedding arch.

He'd learn what Louis looked like holding a baby, their baby. He'd learn what he sounded like when he was grumpy after staying up all night with said baby. Or babies. Children.

He'd learn what it was like to raise children with him. What it took to plan birthday parties and play dates and school trips. He'd learn what it meant to send his daughter off on her first date, all while Louis scowled at the young man and asked too many personal questions.

Harry would put a hand on Louis' shoulder and smile at the young man and say Don't mind him. He's naturally nosy. Have her back by ten. Drive safe.

He'd learn how to fight with him about important things like a mortgage or their children's college plan. Then he'd learn what make up sex was like after an important fight about the mortgage or a college plan.

He'd learn what Louis looked like at thirty, fifty, and eighty. He'd learn what it was like to have grandchildren and a family home with a porch swing that Louis liked to sit on, and watch the sun set on, while Harry read poetry to him.

He'd learn all these things one day. But today he was about to learn what if felt like to be free.

"Liam Payne," Harry heard Lindon announce through the open door.

Harry was drumming his fingers on his thigh to a beat in his head. Louis covered his hand with his own and clasped their fingers together.

He kissed Harry's shoulder and whispered, "Ready?"

Harry sighed, "So ready."

"Harry Styles."

He walked up the stairs and onto the stage to the sound of dead silence. He suddenly got incredibly nervous and tried not to cry. Lindon was smiling at him, urging him to keep walking.

He finally made it to the woman and took his degree with a shake of her hand. It felt heavy, but uplifting, in his grasp.

He went to walk the rest of the way, but felt a hand on his elbow. He turned and saw Lindon asking him to come stand by him.

He gave a confused look, but stood quietly next to his professor. "Louis Tomlinson," Lindon announced proudly.

Harry instinctively went to clap, but the entire room stayed silent. Louis walked out to a still room. When he saw Harry still there he gave a questioning glance. Harry shrugged, not knowing what to think.

Louis accepted his degree with a wide smile. He looked up to Harry and his face melted into something comfortable and happy.

Harry took Louis' face in his hand and leaned in for a soft, sweet kiss. Louis smiled against his lips and pushed towards him.

They heard shuffling all around them and pull apart to see what the noise was about, only to look out across an entire auditorium of people holding up small pieces of paper with red hearts on them. The graduating students down front held up signs with a parts of letters on each of them.

Louis and Harry read across them, grinning wide when they figure out what it said. It spelled out: We Love You No Matter What.

Louis looked to Harry to find him crying softly. Louis tucked his degree under his arm and took Harry's face between his hands. Harry wrapped his arms around Louis' waist and pulled his close.

Louis swiped his thumbs over the tears, clearing them away. "I love you," he whispered.

"No matter what," Harry whispered back and kissed Louis hard, filling him with the happiness Harry was exploding with.

They will always being learning, but they will never know everything. There are so many things they will never know. But one thing they do know: They will love each other today, and tomorrow, and forever.

Chapter Text

Harry had just put the last of his band tees into a suitcase when Louis came into the bedroom with his toiletries.

"I think I got everything," Louis told him.

Harry closed his eyes and didn't look up from the bag that sat at the end of his bed. No not his bed. Not anymore. Not even his bag, but his dad had been kind enough to let him take it with him. This wasn't his apartment anymore. Not his kitchen where he and Louis made homemade tortellini. Not his living room where Louis would yell at the screen during a footie match. Not his bed where he never got to make love with Louis.

Harry tried to breathe. He was happy, he really was. He was a college graduate. He'd found the love of his life. He was happy. But he was so scared. He had Louis and not much else. His brain was swirling, almost bursting, with what now? His breath came quicker and he felt himself getting lightheaded.

"Harry?" Louis sounded concerned behind him.

"Yeah," Harry's voice came out higher than he expected and he coughed in response. "I'm fine." He didn't sound fine. He could hear the mild hysteria bubbling up with just the few words he'd gotten out.

"Harry," Louis voice was more powerful now.

Harry turned and met Louis' eyes for an important moment before a tear fell down his cheek. "I'm so scared."

"Harry," Louis said again, but this time Harry thought he sounded demanding. He looked up and Louis had a serene, but serious look on his face. "I need you to trust me."

Harry didn't want to cry so he just nodded. He did trust Louis, of course he did. It was everything else that he wasn't so sure about.

"I need you to say it, Harry. Tell me you trust me." Louis' voice hadn't gotten any softer, if anything he sounded larger than Harry had ever heard before.

"I trust you," Harry agreed immediately.

He caught Louis' single nod before he said, "Take your clothes off."

Harry eyebrows furrowed, "What?"

"Do as I say, Harry. Now."

Harry paused for a second, staring at Louis, trying to see what he was getting at. But what he saw had his hands moving to the hem of his shirt. He pulled it off and quickly stripped down to just his boxers. Louis didn't smile, or make that cute appreciative sound he always did when Harry got even close to naked. He was still and quiet, like he was waiting for Harry to complete his request fully. Harry swallowed thickly and pulled his boxers down too.

Louis seemed pleased by that. "Lay down on the bed. Hands above your head. Legs out flat." Harry was moving before he even realized it. He felt his body scramble up the bed and into the postition Louis asked for. Louis hummed and cooed, "So pretty for me, baby."

Harry eyes fell closed with the praise. Louis went to his closet and pulled out a couple neckties that were hanging on a rack. He brought them back and dropped all but on the bed and crawled up to straddle Harry's hips.

"Hi," Harry whispered shyly.

Louis smiled calmly and bent down to kiss him. Harry took all he could. Louis pulled back immediately and grabbed a fistful of Harry's hair. Hair yelped and arched towards Louis' hand.

"Don't be greedy."

Harry nodded as best he could in Louis' grip. Louis released Harry and bent down to mouth at Harry's neck. Harry moaned, so Louis took the tie and stuffed it in Harry's mouth. "Be quiet." Harry's lips stretched around the bunched up silk, felt it on his tongue. He could breathe fine, but the idea that Louis was cutting off one source of air had Harry's eyes rolling back and a moan, muffled by the tie, slipping out.

Louis continued to mark up Harry's neck. He none too gently bit down on the skin under Harry's jaw, adding that soon to be purple mark to the few others he'd created. Harry's hands were still above his head, because he's a good boy, but they were twitching and he didn't know if he could keep them from touching Louis much longer.

"Hmm-ee," Harry tried.

Louis bit down harder and pulled back to look at Harry's flushed face. "What was that?" Harry tried again, but all he got out past the material was a whine. "That's what I thought," Louis quipped. Harry's hand went to move in desperation but Louis quickly caught him by the wrist. "That would be very bad of you, baby."

Harry instantly still and left his hands where they were. Louis turned and grabbed another scarf anyway. "Want to be a good boy, Haz?" Harry nodded eagerly. It was the response Louis wanted, because his eyes got a shade darker and he bent over and licked up the shell of Harry's ear, making him shiver. "I'll make you forget about everything, love. I promise."

Harry sighed at Louis' promise. Just what he needed. To forget anything and everything that wasn't Louis. Louis wrapped the tie around one wrist, then around the top rail of the headboard, then around the other wrist, and once more around the headboard, and tied it off. Harry instinctively pulled of the restraint, but didn't get more than an inch of reprieve. He felt the fabric rub against his skin and his heart rate got faster, but his mind went a little slower.

Louis moved down Harry's body to suck one of his hard nipples into his mouth. Harry arched into Louis mouth but Louis pushed him down with a hand on his chest. He used that hand to then take the other nipple between his finger and thumb and squeeze. Harry's high-pitched scream was faint because of the gag. Louis didn't relent on his grip or his mouth. He switched so his mouth was on the dry nipple and let his thumb rub over the now slick one. Harry's chest was heaving with short, needy breaths.

Louis felt drunk off the sounds Harry was making. He needed to know what every inch of his skin tasted like. He licked strips up Harry's chest and then down to Harry's stomach. He felt Harry's muscles clench and move under his tongue. He grazed kisses over every dip and curve. Harry legs were twitching, but he kept them out flat, spread so Louis could fit between them.

When Louis' mouth finally reached Harry's cock, he saw how hard he was, standing proudly against his stomach, precome dripping onto his skin. Louis groaned under his breath and skipped it completely. Instead he moved down between Harry's legs and pushed them out, knees bent, with his hands, opening him up so Louis could see his virgin hole clenched against the air.

Harry felt his eyes go blurry for a second when he felt the air moved over his heated skin, into his most private area. He wanted to whine, to buck for more, but he wanted to be a good boy even more. So he clenched his muscles and pointed his toes and kept still for Louis. Louis kissed right next to his balls, flicking his tongue out quickly to taste them. Then he nosed them up to kiss Harry's perineum, the skin soft under his lips.

Harry did whine then and Louis' mouth pulled back. Harry wanted to scream that he was sorry, that he'll be quiet he'd promised, but before he could Louis bent one leg back and spanked him. Harry yelped and then moaned, his eyes falling shut again.

"You just can't seem to follow instructions today, Haz." Harry pushed down towards Louis' hand and mumbled his apologizes around the tie. Louis' hand came down again. "Don't. Be. Greedy. I've told you." He spanked him again and then rubbed his hand over the red cheek. Harry felt so sensitive, like Louis was rubbing the burn further into his skin. Louis kept his leg bent and leaned down to kiss the bright pink skin he'd just hit.

Harry's voice was whisper-high, but Louis just pressed his lips harder into the skin. Harry's breathing felt erratic now. He couldn't form full thoughts. All he could contentrate on was Louis' touch. On his leg, on his ass. He couldn't feel anything beyond Louis.

And then Louis was gone. Cold air rushed around Harry and his eyes flew open and he lifted his heavy head up. Louis saw him and soothed, "Just getting supplies, love." Harry still whined, being more than a couple inches apart felt like miles. Louis rifled around in Harry's toiletry bag until he found the condoms and lube. When he looked back Harry was grinding back on the bed in tiny circles and his cock was twitching on his stomach. "You'll learn," was all Louis said as he climbed back on the bed and lifted Harry's other leg and spanked the other cheek. Harry preened, but didn't make a sound. "Very good." He landed another one, harder than any of the others. Harry's breathing was fast, his nostrils flaring, but he stayed silent. "That's my good boy," Louis rubbed his hand over Harry's cheek, "So good for me. So pretty with your bright red ass, my hand print all over it."

Harry's face scrunched up with the need to tell Louis how much he loved being good, but he bit down on the material in his mouth and clenched his fists. Louis let Harry's leg fall back to the bed with a thud and opened the tube to drizzle the gel over his fingers. Louis moved up and kissed Harry's cheek then whispered, "You're so perfect. I love you so much." Harry was so lost in Louis' words he almost missed when Louis pressed the tip of his finger to Harry's hole. But he definitely felt it when the tip slipped inside. Harry's breath, what little he was getting through his nose, whooshed out of him in a rush.

Louis kissed his cheek again and moved in just a tiny bit more. Harry's hands gripped at the tie between his wrists and the headboard. Louis pulled out as much as he could and pushed the little bit back in. Harry's legs spread wider without his own permission and Louis smirked down at him. "So pretty. And you're all mine." Harry sighed and leaned up to rub his cheek on Louis'. Louis lowered down so Harry didn't have to stretched and nuzzled into his neck while he pushed his finger deeper. Harry felt the stretch, the burn, but it was like a secondary sensation somwhere in the background compared to Louis' lips all over his skin.

He kissed over every one of Harry's tattoos, making sure to bite down on his favorites. By the time he reached Harry's might as well his finger was fully seated inside Harry's impossible tight hole. He swirled his finger inside Harry while he licked over the flushed tip of Harry's dick. It twitched against his lips and Louis couldn't help the smile that spread on his face.

He had Harry, spread out and needy, under him. There was no where he'd ever want to be. He pulled his finger back out and used more lube to get them really wet. Then he placed two back at Harry's hole. He paused to let Harry breathe, which he seemed to be having trouble with. Like he couldn't make his brain connect to his lungs. Or his lungs were rebelling on account of Louis making him feel things he'd never felt.

Louis pressed both back in just to the first knuckle and waited. "Relax for me, baby. I've got you." It's like a wave of ease fell over Harry then. His breathing slowed instantly and his whole body melted into the matress. Louis pushed both fingers in deeper and felt Harry's hole stretch around them. He kissed the inside of Harry's thigh comfortingly, mumuring tiny words of praise like babyso goodbeautiful. Harry toes tointed and then flexed everytime Louis said something, like he was hanging on Louis' every word.

He probably was. So Louis kept talking. "I love how you feel. Can't wait to be inside you, baby. So tight on my fingers. So warm. Your skin's so pretty. Your face. I love you so much." Harry was letting tiny whimpers slip, but Louis let them go because he sounded so good. He pushed his fingers in and out of Harry slowly, spreading them just a little, while Harry threw his head into the pillow and squeezed his eyes shut. Louis spread his fingers wider inside Harry and watched as his tight rim opened and then clenched with every movement.

He'd never fingered open a virgin hole before and couldn't help but be amazed out how tight Harry's was and how open it was now. "Amazing," he whispered. Harry's head raised up, his eyes heavy. "You're so amazing. God I can't get enough," Louis continued and moved up to kiss all over Harry's face. He felt Harry's smile spread around the material as Louis kissed his cheek, next to his mouth, his nose, forehead, chin. He couldn't find enough ways to show Harry how amazing he was.

Harry clenched tight around Louis' fingers and humph'd his impatience. Louis chuckled and said, "Alright, baby. You ready?" Louis pulled his fingers out and steeled Harry with a serious look. Harry breathed a long, calming breath and nodded, nothing but trust in his eyes. Louis smiled gently and reached over to grab the condom and the lube again. He quickly ripped it open and rolled it onto himself, groaning at the first contact he'd gotten all night. He squeezed lube onto his dirty hand and smoothed it over himself.

Harry watched every movement with lazy eyes. Louis saw his fingers stretched awkwardly towards Louis, but he just ignored them and instead praised, "You've done so well so far. Keeping still and quiet for me. You're such a good boy." Harry eyes just slipped closed and his mouth went slack around the gag. Louis ran his clean hand up and down Harry's thigh while he lined himself up.

"Can you reach the headboard with your fingers, babe?" Harry's eyes opened again but he didn't seem to comprehend Louis' question. God, he must be so deep already. "Can you reach the heardboard, love?" Harry slowly reached out his hands and let his fingers knock against the thick metal. "Good. If it's too much. Or something happens. Or you need me to stop for any reason," Louis gripped Harry's thigh to get his attention, "Any reason at all, just tap against the headboard and I'll stop, okay?"

Why would he ever want Louis to stop? He hoped he'd feel like this forever, but he nodded anyway. Or he hoped he nodded. He must've, because Louis said, "Thank you," and pushed Harry's legs up. They felt so heavy and Harry wondered just for a moment how Louis was moving them, but that thought quickly disappeared when he felt Louis' tip at his hole.

This was happening. He was finally going to have Louis inside him. He wanted to scream and shout with joy, but he could barely keep the fog back from his brain enough to register that it was happening at all. He swallowed and kept very still for Louis. Louis pushed in until just the head was wrapped in Harry's tight muscles. Harry let a breathy whimper go. His eyes were open just enough to see that Louis was watching him like a hawk, noticing every twitch and sound. Harry tried to convey that he'd never felt this good in his whole life just by eye contact. He thought Louis got it.

Louis slid in a little more, a couple more inches inside. He kept his breathing stable and his eyes on Harry for any signs of distress, but Harry looked so at peace that Louis almost cried with love for his boy. He pulled out just an inch or so and pushed back in deeper. Harry's legs tensed in Louis' hands. He pulled out a little more and pushed in a little deeper, until he was buried inside Harry.

Harry sighed when he felt Louis' hips against his ass. He did it. Louis was inside him. His boyfriend, the love of his life, was pressed inside him. Harry's mind was reeling with it, but his whole body felt so heavy that he could't move. But mind felt like he was going to fly away. He almost did when Louis' voice pulled him back with, "Gonna move now, baby. So tight. I can't believe how good you feel." Harry shifted his hips against Louis to let him know it was okay.

Louis pulled out to the tip and pushed smoothly back in. Harry arched up into the air, but instantly fell back to the bed. He pull out and pushed in again, quicker this time. Harry's legs were suddenly squirming, so Louis tightened his grip on them. It only served to make Harry squirm more, pushing down on Louis' cock. Louis couldn't believe him, so needy for it. He built a smooth rythym for them, lowering down more and more with each thrust until he let Harry's legs bend over his shoulders and he planted his hand on either side of Harry's shoulders.

Harry pushed back just a little with each thrust, spurring Louis on. Soon Louis was hitting Harry's hole with such force that Harry was getting pushed up the mattress with each thrust. Harry noises increased, small whines, then moans, the harder Louis went. Louis pulled back and rolled into Harry at a different angle and Harry screamed around the tie in his mouth. Louis smirked and moved in the same way. Harry's whole body was twitching under him, like Harry couldn't control his limbs.

Harry threw his head back as Louis assaulted his prostate with precision accuracy. His eyes clenched shut and he bit down on the fabric to keep from vocalizing sounds that were sure to scare Louis. His whole body was tightening up, feeling more and more wound, until his mind was racing so fast that it stopped. Suddenly he didn't think anything, could barely feel anything. Just the light breeze inside his mind, like he was floating. Suspended in mid-air, his only tie to the world the consistent touches and whispers from the golden boy on top of him.

He felt his body tense up and shoot ropes onto his stomach, but what he really felt was the soaring feeling that washed over him. Louis pushed in a few more times before he emptied into Harry's open hole, gripping the sheets between his fingers and gasping Harry's name. He rolled gently, riding out his high, before pulling out and letting Harry's legs fall gently back to the bed. He instantly ran his hands all over Harry's body with urgency.

"Haz? Harry, baby, talk to me." Harry let a small sound out. Louis swore quietly and pulled the tie out. Harry gasped in a breath and Louis quickly stole it was a kiss. "Talk to me. I love you. So perfect. Fucking perfect. God, so perfect," Louis said between frantic kisses.

"Lou," was all Harry's brain would allow.

"Yes, baby. I'm here. You did so well, baby. So good, but I need you back with me."

"Back with you," Harry repeated with a stupid grin on his face.

Louis grinned back down at him. "Yeah, baby. With me. Open your eyes, love."

Harry felt his eyelids flutter and he fought with them to lift. Finaly they opened and he was met with his sweaty, smiling boyfriend's face."Hi," Harry was loopy.

"Hey there." Louis wiped his hair out of his face then reached up and untied Harry's wrists. They fell to the bed and Harry just let them stay there. "I'm not going anywhere. Just going to clean you up, yeah?"

Harry nodded lazily and let his eyes close again. A minute or so later Louis returned and Harry felt a cold cloth on his stomach. Louis wiped over his skin delicately, but with purpose. He wiped Harry's face, and neck, and shoulders, cleaning off the sweat. Harry just smiled through the whole thing. Louis threw the washcloth on the floor and pulled Harry into him so his chest was pressed against Harry's back, and pulled the blanket up to cover them.

"Just so you know. We're not done. I want to paint every surface is this god damn apartment with your beautiful cum," Louis warned.

Harry whimpered and shuffled back further into Louis' arms. "Hate it here, anyway," he mumbled, "Like your bed better."

Louis hummed into Harry's hair. "Fuck them. All I need is you."

"Only you," Harry echoed before drifting off.

Chapter Text

Here's all the social media stuff I told you I'd give yall. I'll also put this in my other fics, and my one shots, and on my profile.

I just started a Twitter and Tumblr specifically for my AO3 and Wattpad accounts. So you guys can ask questions about the fics or me. You can send in requests on either one. I know Tumblr allows anonymity so that's nice!

I'd love to talk between posts, see what yall are thinking as I'm writing. Maybe even get some input on where my stories go!

The Twitter is: @purpleeyeslie

The Tumblr is: 1dand5sosobsessed (you know!)

They're nothing fancy I just wanna connect, ya feel me??

Add me and I'll follow back real quick! I'm excited to see where this goes!