The first time Nick pushes into Alan, Alan is overwhelmed. It's after Nick has been released and Mae and Jamie have gone their own way. Nick high on the energy of being a demon, being free, and both keenly aware of the sacrifices that have been made, they fall on each other, a fitting continuation of their already singular relationship.
It feels right, Alan thinks, to be pressed to Nick like this, wrapped around and tangled up in each other. It feels like something has changed: maybe now they'll finally be alright. God, that's what he's wanted for so long. He comes, staring into his adopted brothers eyes, clinging to him, feeling closer than he's ever been to anyone. "I love you, you know" he breathes into Nick's shoulder. And why shouldn't he? For most of his life, Nick has been his driving focus.
Nick pulls back and looks puzzled. "Yes," he says, matter-of-factly. Yes, he does know. He kisses Alan again before getting up to shower. He even makes them some food when he's done.
He's a demon, Alan knows. Now more than ever. He will never understand human emotions, but he cares about Alan. He didn't destroy the whole damn world, just because of Alan. And that should be enough, Alan thinks. That's enough, he repeats fervently in his head. But for all his talent with others, Alan has never been able to lie to himself.