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Maybe Baby (New Year’s Day)

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Ain’t no rhyme or reason,

No complicated meaning,

Ain’t no need to overthink it,

Let go laughing.

Life don’t go quite like you planned it,

We try so hard to understand it,

The irrefutable, indisputable fact is...

Shhh... it happens.

 

 

December, 2019

Kelley’s single. She has been for awhile now, which she finds exceptionally annoying. Because she’s hot (hello ESPN Body cover!). And she’s smart (‘sup Stanford). And she’s funny (she can make the Queen of Funny herself, Emily Sonnett, crack up after all). And she’s fucking loyal. She always has been. Yet every one of her relationships has ended with the same fight: “You travel too much. You’re away for too long. I can’t do this anymore,” and Kelley trying to argue that she’s doing the absolute best she can with the time she has, and getting angry because angry is better than hurt.  Or at least easier.


And that might be what Kelley finds the most annoying, because what is she supposed to do? She’s a professional soccer player. The women she’s dated knew this going in; it’s not her fault. She has sponsorships and photoshoots, a company she’s trying to get off the ground, and so many goddamn appointments with specialists because her ankle seems permanently fucked up. All of that is in addition to training, games in different cities for club, and tournaments around the world for country. Oh and her family? Her family’s in another state on the opposite side of the US and she basically puts them last. So really? What is she supposed to do when she’s pulled a million different ways all the time. She’s always given her relationships everything she has, but everything she has is never enough for anyone it seems. And she’s done with it all, or at least she would be...

If she didn’t have needs. Not emotional ones. She’s seriously done with that. But physical ones.


And therein lies the problem. She refuses to put her face out there on Tinder or Bumble, and as much as she’d like to think she’s not (because she likes to act the same age as Sonnett and Rose and Mal), at this point in her life, she’s above meeting some random woman in a bar and taking her home. All of her friends are straight. All of her gay teammates are taken.

Except for Sonnett.

Except. For. Sonnett.

What the hell is she thinking? Emily Sonnett is her friend. Best friend, if she’s being honest, but she can never say that out loud because Alex will turn into a raging lunatic, moreso now with the pregnancy hormones, probably.

But the truth is, she likes being around Sonnett more than she likes being around anyone else.  That includes Alex. And the truth is also that she needs to get that thought out of her head.

But now that it’s in there, she’s having trouble getting it out. Because it’s the offseason, and Sonnett is home in Georgia and they are training together several times a week. And now that it’s closer to Christmas, Mal is back in Denver, so it’s just the two of them. That gives her more time to think about this as a real possibility. And it seems like it could actually work.

Just for awhile.

Just to get her needs met.  

Except that Emily would never go for a friends with benefits type of situation. Ever.

Probably.

Most likely.

At least Kelley doesn’t think she would.


Because Emily is good and pure and soft. And as much as she would like everyone to think she is a player, she is so not a player. Kelley’s gotten to know her well over the past couple of years and she knows that Emily has never slept with anyone she’s not in love with. Ever.

There are no one night stands hiding in her closet. No drunken mistakes. No flings on a road trip.

She’s honorable. And traditional. And she feels deeply, so Kelley will never hurt her. Ever.

But...

But this also means that Emily hasn’t had sex in literally a couple of years.  Since she realized she was in love with Lindsey. Even though Lindsey is straight. And even though Lindsey loves her - to death - but will never be in love with her.

Emily keeps telling Kelley that she’ll get over it, that she’ll move on...one day. But one day never comes, or at least it hasn’t yet. She’s still uselessly pining away over Horan.

Maybe she just needs a push in the right direction. Or a pull rather. Towards Kelley. Emily has to have needs too, right? Kelley would only be doing her a favor... until she is able to get over Lindsey and move on.  Maybe this would actually help Sonnett move on...

She just needs to figure out how to broach the subject first...