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when we get closer

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Donghyuck loved Mark like this. 

He loved Mark dressed up, too, in pressed suits and styled hair, standing stark straight on a red carpet. He loved that Mark, with the subtle makeup that accentuated his features, with his practiced smile that he turned on whenever there were cameras around.

But he loved the Mark in his bed in another way entirely. That love ran deeper, baser. There was something about Mark, not made up, laying in Donghyuck’s bed in just a pair of joggers and t-shirt that stoked an insatiable need within him. He desired, simple as that. 

Donghyuck suspected that Mark knew it, too. That was the worst part. 

He toed off his sneakers and crawled into Donghyuck’s bed with him, throwing the covers aside and sliding up close. He didn’t care about leaving any modest amount of space between them, not when it was just them in the room, not when it was early evening and the rest of the members were busying themselves, secreting themselves away in their rooms or in discrete stores around Seoul.

Donghyuck tried not to shift when Mark was like this. He had his body pressed flush to Donghyuck’s, all hard lines and warmth. His thin cotton shirt and joggers did little to dull either of those sensations. Donghyuck breathed carefully, filling his lungs with the intoxicating scent of Mark’s soap, his laundry detergent. 

During an action scene in the movie that was playing on the laptop perched across their laps, Donghyuck stole a glance at Mark. He let his eyes slide to the side. 

Mark was focused entirely on the events on screen. Donghyuck didn’t let himself linger on his eyes the way he wanted to. After noting how wide they were behind his glasses, how flooded they were with the blue hues from the movie, he cut himself off. He forced himself to carry on quickly, always careful not to get caught. His gaze fell lower, tracing Mark’s profile. 

Unthinking, Donghyuck held his breath when his glance snagged on Mark’s lips. Late in the day, Mark’s shadow was already growing in. Donghyuck duly didn’t let himself wonder how it’d feel to kiss Mark, how the stubble might stick and burn. He didn’t let himself imagine that. 

Mark had sucked his lower lip in between his teeth. He was gnawing on it – Donghyuck figured something tense was happening onscreen, but he couldn’t be bothered to check. 

At once, his lungs protested against the breath he’d kept in. Donghyuck was forced to exhale, and that slight sound carried past the strained shouts of the actors in the movie. Mark’s eyes snapped to Donghyuck.

Donghyuck could have looked away. He desperately wanted to, for a moment. He felt caught by Mark’s gaze, pinned down. Mark had caught him looking. He should have looked away. Then things could have just continued as normal, and they could have glossed right over the moment and forgotten it, buried it like so many others like it.

As Donghyuck debated, though, he was struck by an observation. As moments passed, as the action onscreen shifted, Mark didn’t look smug. He didn’t look annoyed to have caught Donghyuck sneaking glances at him. Instead, there seemed to be a flush across his cheeks. It was faint, but Donghyuck had been sneaking glances for years. He knew what Mark looked like when he blushed. And Mark was blushing. 

Donghyuck blinked. He’d made Mark blush, and he’d done it just by looking at him. Donghyuck blinked and just as he did it, Mark released his lower lip from his teeth. Donghyuck’s gaze fell to it. 

This time, he didn’t bother hiding that he was looking. He took his time, tracing over the line of Mark’s lip, the indentation his teeth had left in it, the space between his lips, where they were slightly parted still. Donghyuck felt daring for it, for staring so brazenly. It could be stupid, doing what he was doing. His heart seemed to agree with him, traitorously thumping in his chest. He hoped Mark couldn’t hear it, hoped the sounds of conversation from the movie could cover for him. 

Donghyuck let his gaze linger, then he flicked his eyes up. 

He smiled, determined not to betray his nerves. It helped that Mark still looked the same as he had before Donghyuck looked to his lips. If anything, his cheeks had grown more saturated, more flushed. He looked half dazed. 

Donghyuck said nothing, though waiting was a torture in and of itself. He wanted to crack a joke, just to do something to alleviate the tension that had fell upon them. And all he’d done was looked at Mark. He forced himself to stop casting about for oneliners he could throw at Mark in an attempt to extricate them from this situation. He waited. 

Finally, after seconds that might as well have been hours, Mark spoke. 

It was almost indiscernible, a stuttered: “What – why – I don’t…”

Mark’s rambling put Donghyuck at ease in an instant. Even though Mark had caught him, even though he was blushing, he still wasn’t completely sure why Donghyuck had been looking. Donghyuck just needed that small space to work with, that was all. His smile grew wider in his relief.

“You know, you bite your lip when you’re focused on something, hyung,” Donghyuck said. Then, before he could think better of it, “It’s cute.” 

Mark’s mouth snapped closed. He looked at Donghyuck, just looked at him. Donghyuck returned the gaze for a second, before snorting and looking back to the laptop. 

He hadn’t said that with any expectations attached, he reminded himself. Mark hadn’t seemed to get angry or upset at it, and that was all he needed. He wasn’t looking for anything more but not ruining what they had – their friendship.

Almost half a minute of nearly intolerable silence passed before Mark replied.

“Oh,” he said, an odd note in his voice, “Uh. Thanks.”

Donghyuck didn’t look over at him. He didn’t want to know what sort of expression he had on his face. He hummed, and that was as far as he went acknowledging Mark. He stared at the screen as if it held the answers to life, the universe, why Mark was so inscrutable for someone who should have been the simplest person to decipher. It wasn’t as if he could focus on the actual movie though. If it had been hard to breathe with Mark at his side before, after that moment it was next to impossible. 

Donghyuck just hoped he wasn’t blushing too. 

He tried to lose himself in the movie. He couldn’t remember what it was about, or why the man in the suit was chasing the lady in the intricate dress. He couldn’t remember for the life of him how a snake had gotten involved. He ended up inventing his own backstory, and was in the process of revising it to align with new information about lady in the dress, when he became aware of eyes on him.

He felt Mark’s gaze on the side of his face, a prickling force. He knew he’d been fooling himself by believing his could actually recover after that mishap. He was still embarrassingly attuned to Mark, able to pick out when he was looking at him without actually seeing it. 

Curiosity outweighed potential embarrassment, always. Donghyuck flicked his eyes to the side once more. 

Like matching poles of magnets repelling each other, when Donghyuck’s eyes went to Mark, Mark’s gaze was chased from Donghyuck. Donghyuck could have sighed upon seeing Mark conspicuously boring his eyes into the laptop screen, when Donghyuck had felt him looking only moments before. He could’ve. He didn’t. He was stopped short. 

Mark had sucked his lower lip into his mouth again. He was biting it the same way he had before when Donghyuck had called attention to it. Donghyuck had to pause. As he gathered his thoughts, wondering if it was intentional, then deliberating if he was an idiot, because of course it was intentional – then deliberating over that, because Mark was even more oblivious than him, so it could be that he hadn’t even thought about it. As he debated internally, Mark’s glasses slipped down the bridge of his nose.

Mark let out a shocked, “Oh!,” then scrambled to push them back up. His cheeks were still a furious crimson, as he sneaked a glance out of the side of his eyes at Donghyuck, then back at the laptop. Donghyuck almost, nearly let that sequence of events go, but then he saw Mark do it again. Mark parted his lips, and bit gently down on his bottom lip, his teeth a flash of white against the pink of his lips.

Donghyuck might have been doubtful, but that did away with the last of his insecurities on this at least. Mark was trying to get Donghyuck’s attention. He was so ridiculous, Donghyuck thought, his heart surging, betraying even his own thoughts.

“Hyung,” Donghyuck spoke gently. 

He waited for Mark to look back at him before continuing. Mark’s eyes were wide behind his glasses, as if he was compelling Donghyuck to see he’d done nothing wrong. He was innocent, surely, of provoking him. His face was so close to Donghyuck’s.

“Did you like it when I called you cute?” 

If Mark were any redder, Donghyuck would be tempted to call one of the other members to check him out. His cheeks were candy apple red. 

He pressed his lips together.

“I…” he said. 

He shook his head, too late. His glasses, once more, slipped down the bridge of his nose. This time, though, he didn’t reach up and fix them.

Even though the lie was obvious, it still stung. Donghyuck still felt a rush of disappointment. He fought back the annoyance with how difficult Mark was being, how difficult Mark was in general. Having him there, just out of reach – nothing short of torture. 

Donghyuck smiled, crooked, all he could manage.


“I’m not –,” Mark began, his voice pitched high. He cut himself off. Cleared his throat, “I’m not lying,” he finished, his voice, though lower, still far from normal.

Donghyuck was stunned. Taken aback. God, he thought, had Mark always been this easy to fluster? Only a moment of thinking back confirmed that, yes, Mark had always been this easy. Donghyuck had just never tried to push it further than this. He wanted to. In that moment, the early evening, nothing on the line but everything, he desired nothing more than to see just how far he could take this.

Donghyuck shifted, leaning over though they were already flush against each other. He held his breath, and the sound in the movie managed to quiet at just the right moment for him to hear Mark’s breath hitch audibly. Donghyuck reached out, and traced the line of Mark’s cheek. His skin was soft and felt burning warm against the side of Donghyuck’s thumb.

“You’re blushing, Mark,” Donghyuck said. 

Mark shifted in a way Donghyuck was tempted to call squirming. He directed his eyes up from Mark’s cheek, pointedly making eye contact.

“Hyung,” he corrected himself, “Sorry.”

 Mark exhaled, low and long. His face was so close, Donghyuck thought. He could see all the details, all the imperfections. He could see everything he knew to be there and, if he looked long enough, he was sure he could find something new. He felt strange, though. The heated curl in his stomach had gone twisted, sour, the longer he waited for Mark to act. Mark wasn’t acting though. He wasn’t reacting at all.

Donghyuck drew his hand from Mark’s cheek.

“Sorry,” he repeated, suddenly meaning it all the more. 

He looked down at his hand, wondering what had come over him. Even if Mark liked being complimented by him, even if Mark liked him, that was no guarantee he wanted to do anything about it. Donghyuck’s stomach twisted. He felt like he was going to be sick. He knew he’d lay awake at night in this same bed, thinking about it, concluding that he’d spoiled everything.

Donghyuck barely registered the soft, subtle sound escape Mark’s lips before he felt Mark moving. He glanced up and – Mark was kissing him. It was over just as soon as it’d begun, and was nothing more than Mark’s lips brushing against the corner of his own, but it was a kiss

Donghyuck’s eyes widened as Mark pulled back from him. His hand flew to his lips, the tips of his fingers brushing against the spot where Mark’s lips (Mark’s lips! Donghyuck’s mind trilled repeatedly) had made contact with his own. 

Mark’s lips were parted. His eyes were wide as saucers, as though he was just as shocked as Donghyuck by his actions. His glasses had gone crooked, one side slipping down from his sudden movement. 

“I, uh –” Mark began. His tongue flicked out, moistening his lips (the lips Donghyuck had just kissed only seconds before, Donghyuck’s mind insisted on repeating). 

“Um,” Mark repeated. He raised his arm to push his hand through his hair, pulling even further from Donghyuck as he did. His expression was shifting from shock to horror, and Donghyuck realized with a jolt that his lack of reaction was probably the cause of it. He was frozen, though. Mark had kissed him. What better reason to be frozen, what more justifiable cause. 

“That was…” Mark winced, sighed, “I’m not sure, really.”

Still in disbelief, Donghyuck felt the corners of his lips start to climb up. He glanced down at the space between them, the few centimeters that had opened up as Mark had drawn back. He glanced back up. 

“You kissed me,” Donghyuck said, as mildly as he could manage. A hint of smugness may have snuck in. 

Mark looked pained. His flush was climbing up his neck too, disappearing down his shirt. 

“Can we just forget the past fifteen minutes ever happened?” Mark asked.

Donghyuck didn’t even think about it. 

“Not a chance,” he said, before reaching down and unceremoniously shoving the laptop to the side. 

It hit the wall by his bed with a thump. It was safe, possibly, Donghyuck didn’t care to glance though. He turned, reaching out to clutch the front of Mark’s shirt to pull himself closer. With everything obstructing him gone, Donghyuck finally chanced another look at Mark. 

Mark’s eyes had fallen low. As Donghyuck watched, telling himself he needed a chance to breathe, knowing he was just gathering his courage, Mark’s eyes rose up from Donghyuck’s hand in his shirt.

There was confusion in his gaze, but something else too. Uncertainty reflecting Donghyuck’s own. Without waiting another moment, Donghyuck swept forward. He let his eyes fall closed, and slid his leg through Mark’s as he closed the space between them, pulling their bodies flush together once more.

Mark’s body burned hot, searing Donghyuck’s front as he pressed their lips together. 

Donghyuck put everything he could into the kiss. He didn’t want Mark leaving with just the memory of the glancing contact of their lips together. He wanted Mark to know how Donghyuck could kiss when he meant it.

Donghyuck’s eyes were closed and he fell into his remaining senses. The smell of Mark’s soap filled his nostrils, the feel of him, the sound of their breathing, irregular, catching. Overwhelmingly, the feel of Mark’s lips, soft against his. Donghyuck shifted, parting his lips in hopes of coaxing Mark into the kiss. It worked like a charm. It was all he had to do, and Mark’s lips were parting in kind.

They moved together, closer. Donghyuck’s breath hitched as Mark’s hand found purchase on Donghyuck’s waist. He extricated his hand from between them. Donghyuck had to draw back, just for a moment, but it was painful. He hadn’t given it his all yet, he thought. 

Quickly, carefully, he plucked Mark’s glasses off his face. He didn’t toss them aside, not like the laptop. He placed them as far away on the sheets as his hand could reach, and hoped that would do. 

Mark didn’t seem to mind, much less notice. His eyes were open, but only just. His gaze was heavy lidded, eyes low. They tracked Donghyuck as he drew back close, following him, pinning his lips down. The force of his gaze almost made Donghyuck breathless.

He dragged in a lungful of air that filled him, the feeling of it different, heated and thick. Then he pressed his lips back to Mark’s, set to finish what he’d started. A small voice in the back of Donghyuck’s mind informed him that this might be his one chance, and he ought to give it his all. 

Donghyuck couldn’t help the whimper that escaped him, filtering through his lips to Mark’s own, as Mark’s hand slid up his side. His touch was so gentle. It almost threw Donghyuck off as he tried to focus on Mark’s mouth. 

Donghyuck didn’t arch into Mark’s touch, but it was a near thing. He wished he could mirror the gentleness Mark used with him but he couldn’t. He sucked Mark’s lip into his mouth. He worried Mark’s lip with his teeth, as he’d been watching Mark do out of the corner of his eye that night, and so many others. 

Donghyuck finally worked his hands around, placing one on the juncture between Mark’s neck and shoulder, sliding the other through the hair at the nape of Mark’s neck. Mark gasped, either in pleasure or pain, Donghyuck couldn’t be sure. Donghyuck released his lip and pressed a tender kiss to it in apology, just in case.

He pulled back, his lungs reminding him that it was necessary to breathe sometimes. He gasped in a breath of air, cracking his eyes open. Mark’s eyes had opened too. He had a dumbstruck expression on his face. 

As Donghyuck desperately tried to quell his heart, out of fear Mark would be able to detect its breakneck pace with their chests pressed together, he saw something that made its rhythm stutter. Mark’s lips, slowly curling up into a smile.

“Wow,” was all he said. It was all he had to say, to put Donghyuck at ease.

“I can’t believe we just… wow.”

“I can’t believe you lied to me,” Donghyuck complained, not above that at least. 

He felt his mouth pull into a smile mirroring Mark’s own. He was coming to realize that catching his breath wasn’t in the cards, not with Mark smiling at him like that, wide and dazed and dumbstruck, only centimeters away.

Donghyuck drew closer, close enough that he could feel Mark’s intermittent exhalations across his lips. He looked down, letting his gaze skate across Mark’s face, taking in the flush.

“Cutie,” he murmured, low.

Mark made a choked off sound.

“You can’t talk to me like that,” Mark spoke, his voice high, nearly a whine.

Donghyuck was tempted to laugh – even after kissing, Mark was acting like this. He wondered if it was some feeble grab at maintaining even a trace of what they had before. Donghyuck was feeling emboldened, though. Kissing Mark had that kind of effect on him.

He turned even closer towards Mark, crooking his leg, pushing his knee through Mark’s legs. His leg slid through Mark’s thighs, and he heard the sound of a strangled gasp from Mark as it crept up. Donghyuck only stopped when the top of his thigh met the juncture of Mark’s thighs. 

A not exactly hard, but hardening length pressed insistent against the top of Donghyuck’s leg, and Donghyuck stopped short. He’d been expecting it but – all the same, it was different expecting and actually feeling Mark’s dick pressed against him, separated by only the thin cotton of Mark’s joggers.

Mark’s next exhalation was high.

“I’m sorry – ” he began.

“Stop,” Donghyuck said, without thinking. He felt heat roiling within him, curling in his stomach. His dick was taking note of Mark being turned on from just that one kiss. That was nothing – and yet, Mark was already turned on.

Donghyuck looked up, catching Mark’s eye. His expression looked pained, the smile wiped from his face, and Donghyuck felt the loss of it. He let his grin spread wider across his face.

“Don’t do that.” 

Donghyuck shifted carefully, with intent. He leaned in, letting his leg run with the lightest contact along Mark’s dick. Donghyuck could hardly control himself and keep his movements gentle, but he tried. He issued a hitching gasp of his own when his teasing brought his dick in contact with Mark, brushing against his hipbone. Donghyuck let himself have a moment to regain his composure, feeling Mark’s uneven breaths gust across his cheeks. Then, he looked up. 

“This is okay. What we’re doing… it’s okay.”

Mark was searching Donghyuck’s expression as if searching for answers, for a direction. Donghyuck was happy to provide. He arched his back, curling up even closer to Mark. He could detect the moment Mark realized that Donghyuck was turned on too. His eyes widened. His gaze dropped, only to gravitate right back up. His Adam’s Apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. Donghyuck let out a breathless, nervous laugh.

“Right?” he asked.

Mark returned a jerky nod.

“Right,” he replied, before darting out his tongue to wet his lips. He left a spot behind, a shining spot right where Donghyuck had been sucking on only moments before.

“Good,” Donghyuck tried to reclaim that bold feeling from before. It was harder with Mark’s dick pressed up against him. He could hardly think

Good thing he didn’t have to. Donghyuck inhaled a strengthening lungful of air, then pressed back in.

He gasped, hitching, as their lips met. The movement had also brought them in even closer contact at every point, and Donghyuck felt spikes of pleasure, too short and too shallow, as he shifted against Mark’s hips. To distract himself from the temptation to rut against Mark, Donghyuck threw himself into the kiss. He attacked Mark’s lips with renewed vigor. 

When Mark’s lips parted to let out a sigh, Donghyuck licked past them. He lathed into Mark’s mouth, tasting him fully. He tasted of peppermint toothpaste, of the blue mouthwash Donghyuck knew he used nightly. He tasted sweet and sharp and Donghyuck couldn’t get enough. He swirled his tongue around Mark’s, eliciting a sumptuous exhalation that ghosted across Donghyuck’s lips, his heated cheeks.

“Mark,” he exhaled himself, drawing back, before angling in, lower, aiming for Mark’s jaw.

“Yes,” Mark uttered, his voice wracked and breathless and invigorating. Donghyuck’s hips shifted of their own accord, bringing their hips more aligned, square. His breath hitched as he laid an open mouthed kiss on Mark’s jaw.

“Yes,” Mark repeated, nonsensical, as Donghyuck repeated the kiss. The second was lasting. With his eyes closed, he focused solely on sensation, on the feel of Mark’s skin on his tingling lips, on the way Mark’s body burned pressed to him. Donghyuck added light suction to his kisses, sucking gently on the tender skin stretched over Mark’s jawbone as he ground his hips up against Mark, chasing friction. 

Donghyuck was sucking lightly, reveling in the salty, sweet taste to Mark’s skin when Mark choked out a – 

“Wait. Fuck, Donghyuck, stop.”

Donghyuck hummed, not registering at first, lifting up his lips and grazing over Mark’s skin before pressing back in again, lower on the side of his neck.

“Donghyuck, y-you can’t. Cameras. The cameras will pick it up if you – “

That brought Donghyuck to a halt. As if surfacing from a daze, he blinked. He pulled off of Mark’s neck, raising his eyes just enough to look up at him through his lashes. Mark didn’t look mad. He looked frustrated, if anything. Donghyuck made a small sound in the back of his throat, feeling Mark’s frustration. 

“Take off your shirt,” he said, after a moment’s thought, “The cameras can’t pick up everything.”

Mark’s expression shifted from frustration to confusion to understanding. A disbelieving grin took over his face as he pulled back from Donghyuck. The movement brought his hips out of contact with Donghyuck’s too and Donghyuck hissed, missing the contact, the promise of friction. His dick was more than half-hard, and his patience was wearing thin.

And yet, he was still frozen when Mark took off his shirt. He did it in one swift motion, graceless, utilitarian. Donghyuck had seen Mark shirtless more times than he could count. Sharing a practice room and a dressing room and a dorm meant it was impossible to avoid seeing all of the members in the buff.

But it was different this time. Donghyuck was allowed to look. He was allowed to touch. 

Donghyuck’s breath caught in his throat as he reached out after Mark had settled back down. He took advantage of the space between them, and just – touched. He touched Mark’s chest in a light contact, his fingertips alone. Mark wasn’t ripped. He wasn’t bulging with muscles. He was wiry, the hard muscles under Donghyuck’s hand only present from the sheer amount of effort and time spent practicing, not any sort of gym routine. 

Donghyuck realized the rapid beat he was feeling wasn’t his own. Or, at least, it wasn’t just his own. He blinked. He could feel Mark’s heartbeat hammering against his fingertips. Donghyuck looked up, a smile on his face. 

Mark had his lip between his teeth again, his nerves written clear across the tense lines of his face. Donghyuck scrunched up his nose, feeling desperately fond and trying not to make it too obvious with his expression.

“Still cute,” Donghyuck said, softly. He trailed his fingers down to Mark’s abdomen, “Even with these.”

Mark sighed, and his features relaxed.

“And you’re still out of line,” he muttered. 

Before Donghyuck could feign hurt, Mark reached out and grabbed Donghyuck’s ass. Hard. Donghyuck’s eyes widened, as Mark’s hand slid down the back of his thigh, over the thin fabric of his athletic shorts. Mark’s hand stopped midway down Donghyuck’s thigh and Donghyuck did nothing as Mark tugged him forward, colliding their hips together again.

He did nothing, but his smile spread wider.

Mark’s eyes widened. It was the same expression he had when he’d kissed Donghyuck that first time, the first glancing kiss. He froze against Donghyuck.

“If you try and fucking apologize for that– “ Donghyuck began, before trailing off, leaving the threat open ended. He ground up with his hips, sliding his hand up from Mark’s chest to his neck.

He watched, a thrill coursing through him, as Mark’s eyelids fluttered in pleasure. Donghyuck felt it too, the wave of pleasure that had started out slow and languid, as they’d just barely shifted against each other. It had grown, was still building. Donghyuck moved his hips again, in a circular motion. Through two layers of fabric, Donghyuck’s shorts and Mark’s joggers, their dicks aligned.

Donghyuck let out a gasp. Mark’s dick was hard. Donghyuck had seen it before too – just glimpses, not full on glances. He wasn’t that much of a creep. But he’d be lying if he claimed he hadn’t had dreams of it, dreams of something not unlike this. Donghyuck’s eyes fell closed. He angled in and buried his head in Mark’s neck as he repeated the circular motion, grinding.

Mark let out a choked off sound, his hand spasming on Donghyuck’s thigh. Donghyuck couldn’t do more than lay sloppy, ever sloppier kisses on Mark’s neck, across his collar bones.

“Ngh,” Mark groaned. Donghyuck did it again. It was so, so hard to keep the motions slow. He forwent circular. That was too complicated. He just chased whatever friction he could, grinding up, pushing their hard dicks together, curling in on Mark, pressing open mouthed kisses again and again to his skin to keep himself from moaning. 

“Fuck, Donghyuck,” Mark muttered. Donghyuck shuddered as he shifted. Mark had started to grind with him, the movement of his hips even more erratic than Donghyuck’s.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Mark issued, a string.

“Donghyuck,” Mark’s voice changed. 

Donghyuck, so attuned to him, slowed. He felt a tender touch, so jarring it confused him at first. Mark’s fingers slid along his jaw, guiding him up, coaxing him out of where he’d buried himself in Mark’s chest.

He looked up, and Mark was all he saw. Mark was all he felt. Mark leaned in and Donghyuck’s eyes fell closed, anticipating. What he got instead of a kiss was Mark’s lips, brushing against his cheek. Mark withdrew, then came back, kissing each of Donghyuck’s eyelids in turn. It was so jarring, so much more intimate than even what they were currently doing. Donghyuck couldn’t cope. 

A thick feeling rose in his chest, burbling and sweet and almost sticky, like honey. It swelled up to his throat, making it difficult to breath. Donghyuck’s hips stilled as Mark laid chaste kisses over the surface of his face.

Donghyuck cracked his eyes open. He caught Mark’s eye and Mark paused. His lips were parted and Donghyuck could hear the heaving breaths he was taking, could feel them as Mark’s chest rose and fell. Donghyuck swallowed thickly, brimming with things he wanted to say, questions resting on the tip of his tongue.

Speaking was scary, though. With it, came the prospect of revealing too much, the risk of ruining what had only just begun. Donghyuck let out a guttural sound of annoyance at himself, his inability to speak. He swept forward, intending to show Mark, even if he couldn’t tell him. 

Donghyuck captured Mark’s lips square on, rolling his hips forward as he did. He swallowed Mark’s breathless moans, sure that nothing could taste sweeter. Donghyuck kept finding new ways to love Mark, kept searching for ways to show him. 

He snaked his hand down, after a moment’s thought. He had to shift back and slide his thigh down to reach, and Mark whined against his lips.

“Shh,” Donghyuck hushed him, a smile crawling across his face, “Patience.”

He opened his eyes to look down, to watch as he reached his destination. Donghyuck was done teasing, waiting. He cupped Mark’s dick, firmly. Mark gasped as Donghyuck palmed the hard length through his joggers.

Donghyuck looked back up, gaze searching, lids low. Just touching Mark, imagining how that friction felt, how good it felt, stoked the heat in his stomach.

“Can I...?” he asked, low.

Mark didn’t reply, not at first. His eyes had fallen closed, his head angled back, exposing his neck. Donghyuck swallowed. He wanted to call him love, or sweet, or darling.

“Mark,” he settled for, instead, “Is this okay?”

Donghyuck curled his hand around Mark’s dick. He was hard, achingly so. Donghyuck knew how torturous his hand had to feel, as he slid it slowly along its length.

Mark sucked his lip in, biting it, before nodding.

“Y-yeah,” he answered, filling Donghyuck with immeasurable relief. 

He smiled, unsure if it came off as nervous as he felt, then angled back in. He pressed a glancing kiss to the corner of Mark’s mouth, focused more on what his hand was doing, how he was applying pressure, what angle, what rhythm. Mark’s exhalations, hot and damp, hit Donghyuck’s cheek as he palmed his dick, rubbing along its length.

Donghyuck thought about how often he’d seen Mark wear these joggers, how many times they’d been laundered, worn thin. He shifted the angle of his hand, pressing his thumb where he guessed the head of Mark’s dick was. Mark hissed in his ear, and Donghyuck’s grin widened. He could feel the head of Mark’s dick, even through the pants. There was a small damp spot right where Donghyuck rubbed his thumb, soaked through with precum. 

Mark was so turned on, Donghyuck’s mind kept repeating. And he’d done that. Him. 

Donghyuck was drawn from his thoughts as Mark’s hips jutted forward. Mark ground into Donghyuck’s palm, and Donghyuck himself was having trouble keeping his breathing even.

“Please,” Mark issued, strained. His hand skated over Donghyuck’s front, over and up. Donghyuck realized he was shaking, trembling, as his hand landed on the side of Donghyuck’s neck.

“Please, more.”

Donghyuck didn’t need to be asked twice. His mind blanked at the thought of Mark begging him for more. 

“Yeah,” he replied, dumb, obligingly, “‘Course. Yeah.”

Then his brain kicked in. Donghyuck moved swiftly. He moved his hand from Mark’s crotch and Mark groaned but, within a moment, Donghyuck had his hand shoved down the waistband of Mark’s joggers.

And that’s why he could feel everything through them, he thought, his brain fizzling again, his cock twitching. No underwear. Donghyuck snuck a glance at Mark, only to find Mark’s eyes cracked open, his gaze heavy lidded and heavy on Donghyuck.

Donghyuck felt impossibly shy suddenly, though he had no right to be. The thought of Mark laying by him, watching the movie right by him, just wearing the pants and nothing beneath them was mindbending. He looked back down, and focused on getting the right angle again. 

He ran his thumb along the waistband of the joggers, before shoving the front of them down. Unrestrained, Mark’s dick sprung out, falling against his hip bone. Donghyuck stopped breathing. He allowed himself a moment to look, to really look.

Mark’s dick was achingly hard, all smooth, creamy pale until its head, where it was flushed a brutal, deep pink. A bead of clear precum was on its slit, inviting. It was longer than Donghyuck had thought to imagine, even when he allowed himself, and not too thick. An annoying part of Donghyuck’s brain pointed out that he was probably bigger than Donghyuck. 

Mark moved. He shifted, his leg sliding forward. Donghyuck was confused at first, then he realized that Mark was attempted to shield himself. To hide himself. From Donghyuck. Donghyuck flicked his eyes up. 

Mark’s eyes were on Donghyuck but, even as he looked up, Mark’s gaze shied away. His eyes went up, to some point over Donghyuck’s head, looking out at nothing, his cheeks as red and flushed as ever.

Slowly, carefully, Donghyuck reached forward and took Mark’s cock into his hand. Mark’s features shifted. His eyes flicked down at Donghyuck, only to go right back up.

Donghyuck got it. He understood, he thought. He was adjusting to the weight of Mark’s dick, filling his hand up, the skin velvety soft. He gave it an experimental tug.

Mark’s thumb jerked against the side of Donghyuck’s neck. Donghyuck exhaled, low. He repeated the motion, surer. A long slow tug down the length of the dick, adding in a small twist up at the last moment, a move he sometimes used when he was jerking himself off. 

Mark inhaled this small, hitching, choking inhale. He jerked Mark again, lightly sliding his fist down. He had to be gentle, careful. Dry skin on dry skin. Mark’s eyelids fluttered, and Donghyuck tried and failed to think of the last time he’d even imagined anything this hot.

Donghyuck paused. He used a moment to glance down, to slide his hand up the length of Mark’s cock. He thumbed at the head again, the precum leaking, making it shine. He smeared it, spread it down the length of the shaft, just to get that little slip he needed.

Donghyuck’s gaze gravitated back to Mark. He pumped his fist over Mark’s length, increasing the speed, tightening his grasp. Mark’s breathing shifted, shallowed, became interspersed with gentle moans. Donghyuck’s heartbeat increased in kind, his breathing picking up. 

He’d never seen anything hotter, he was sure of it. He drank in the sight of Mark, of his skin, starting to grow shiny with sweat. The planes of his face, his neck, the late evening sun making the hard lines and angles of him even starker in contrast. All the while, Mark’s uneven breathing and his own had filled the humid, heated air in the room. 

Donghyuck loved Mark like this, he thought. He loved this Mark perhaps the most of all, this side of Mark that he was sure no one had ever seen but him, unraveled and messy and moaning, coming apart at the seams. 

Only one thing would make it better. Courage gathered, Donghyuck took a breath. 

“Mark,” Donghyuck uttered, above Mark’s breathy exhalations.

“Mark,” he repeated, more insistent, firmer, taking a stronger grip on Mark’s cock.

Mark’s eyes opened up, languid, slow, as if surfacing from a dream. He angled his head forward, and locked eyes with Donghyuck, and Donghyuck had never felt so electric. 

His wrist was starting to ache but he hardly noticed, not as Mark held his eye and let out a high breath, so close to a whine.

“You getting close?” Donghyuck asked, just to keep Mark’s eyes open, on him.

A beat. Mark nodded, his lips twisting.

Donghyuck kept pumping his fist up and down. Mark’s cock was slick with precum, so hot and heavy in his hand. 

“How close?” Donghyuck asked, his tongue darting out to wet his lips, “‘re you going to come for me, Mark?” 

Mark’s face was red, Donghyuck’s eyes roved over it, over his lips, flushed pink and swollen. Mark let out a guttural noise, as his hips bucked up. He fucked into Donghyuck’s fist, and Donghyuck’s smile rose again to his lips. Wide, and widening, as Mark had less and less control, as Mark bit down on his lip.

“Donghyuck,” Mark exhaled. 

Donghyuck’s cock twitched. He wouldn’t ever be able to forget Mark’s voice sounding like that, saying his name like that. The memory of it would weave in and out of all of his wet dreams, he knew, without a doubt.

Fuck. Donghyuck,” Mark released his lip, his lips parting, forming a small ‘o’. Donghyuck kept jacking him off, faster, quicker, more pressure. His hand slipped over Mark’s cock, his fingers twisted around its swollen head.

“Fuck,” Mark moaned, his head falling back, his eyes falling closed, “I’m about to – I’m going to –.”

 “Yes,” Donghyuck said, encouraging, breathless, “Come on, Mark. Come –.”

And he did. 

Before Donghyuck could get a sentence out, Mark’s hips were stuttering. Thick liquid, hot and viscous, spilled over Donghyuck’s fist. He didn’t dare glance down though. He didn’t want to miss a single minute detail of Mark’s face, not as he came, not as ecstacy etched itself over is features. 

Donghyuck kept pumping his fist, slower, gentler, jerking him through his orgasm. His face – Donghyuck couldn’t stop staring if he wanted to. Mark’s face was slack, relaxed as he’d ever seen it. It was beautiful. He was beautiful. Donghyuck loved Mark as he was, then, always. 

Donghyuck only drew his hand away when Mark’s moans turned to whimpers, when his hips shifted. 

He glanced down and saw that Mark had spilled everywhere, all over Donghyuck’s hand, over his stomach, his abs. Even his joggers weren’t spared – the gray fabric was splattered over with milky white cum. 

Donghyuck clicked his tongue, as though the sight of that wasn’t sending his heart reeling and wasn’t reminding him of how throbbing hard he was. He looked up at Mark, feeling as winded as if he’d just ended an hours-long practice. Mark had curled back in, his eyes still closed, his lashes gracing his cheeks, fanned out and casting shadows. His lips were parted, dragging in deep breaths. Beautiful, Donghyuck’s mind supplied. 

“You made such a mess,” he said, when the silence threatened to stretch long. 

The corners of Mark’s lips quirked up.  

“I do tend to do that,” he replied, his voice deep and wrecked and devastating. 

Donghyuck swallowed, hard. He didn’t understand that, not exactly. But he felt Mark’s voice reverberate through him. He looked down at his hand, sticky with drying cum. Donghyuck exhaled and wiped his palm off on his shorts. He could have used Mark’s joggers, they were already dirtied but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed. 

Before he could think better of it, Donghyuck reached forward and pulled the joggers up, tucking Mark in. His mind screeched to a halt – too intimate, it blared. Don’t take such care with him. 

Donghyuck hissed out a breath that was to be cut short. Mark raised his hand from Donghyuck’s neck, gently taking hold of Donghyuck’s chin between his thumb and pointer finger. Donghyuck glanced up, just as Mark angled in.

A hot gust of breath that smelled of peppermint ghosted across his face, and then Mark’s lips were on his.

The sweetness of his lips, the feel of them – soft and plush as they shifted in small increments, slotting into place – melted away the worst of Donghyuck’s doubts. It reminded him how unbelievable it was, just how far they’d come, just how much they’d done. Donghyuck’s stomach was heated, twisted. Mark’s tongue dipped out and traced the seam of Donghyuck’s lips and his hips bucked forward, searching for friction, pressure.

Donghyuck could feel Mark’s smile grow against his lips.

Mark pulled back through. He withdrew at just the moment Donghyuck thought it safe to moan, leaving the sound to escape from him clear and unmuffled as Mark moved away.

“Your turn,” Mark spoke.

Donghyuck’s heart thumped with the promise of that. He attempted to grin back.

“Finally,” he said, and if he’d had a hard time responding to that, it was nothing compared with what was to come.

Mark’s eyes flicked down, then back up. Donghyuck got lost for a moment, with how utterly dark they looked. Completely, totally black. Just blown pupils, with a barely detectable chocolate rim around them.

“Can I blow you?”

Fuck, Donghyuck thought. 

It was only the thought that Mark was acting even dirtier than he allowed himself to imagine that reminded him that this wasn’t just a dream, some invention of his mind. 

“Uh. Yeah. Yes,” Donghyuck was speaking on auto pilot. His dick ached, straining against the fabric of his shorts, “If that’s – if you want to.”

In the repositioning that followed, Donghyuck managed to gather more of his wits, whatever last vestiges remained. As Donghyuck shoved his shorts and briefs down, unceremoniously, and Mark joined in to help drag them down, Donghyuck licked his lips.

“Y’know, getting each other off isn’t a competition. You don’t have to outdo me.”

Mark hummed. He still had that dazed, post-orgasm smile on his face. He looked far from the shy Mark from earlier that evening, as he hooked his finger onto the waistband of Donghyuck’s briefs and shorts, and slipped them off his feet. 

Donghyuck’s cheeks were burning. He was completely bare from the waist down, trying not to seek comfort and tug his shirt down just to hide – something. Some part of his dignity.

“But if it was a competition…” Mark began, darting a gaze to Donghyuck. He swung his leg over Donghyuck’s thigh, then the other. He shifted forward, forcing Donghyuck to spread his legs wider to allow him space to move. 

Donghyuck felt feverish. He lifted his gaze above Mark’s head, pointing it at the window on the far side of the room. He squinted at the slatted sunbeams lighting up motes of dust. He inhaled a breath of air, hot and thick and scented of the smells of sex: musky and sweaty. 

“I’d still be winning,” he said, directing his gaze back down. 

Mark, kneeling between his legs, opened his mouth. Then closed it, with a shake of his head. Donghyuck felt a smirk crawl back across his lips. He still felt nervous, exposed. But he could enjoy this, he thought, as he watched Mark lean down. He could really enjoy this.

Donghyuck lifted an arm to rest his head against as he leaned back. His dick, unrestrained, lay hard and leaking against his thigh. Mark seemed to be frozen, deliberating, so Donghyuck thought to help him. 

With his free hand, he reached out for his cock. Even with the lightest touch, shocks of pleasure went through him. Donghyuck pressed his lips together, holding back a moan, as he straightened his dick out for Mark’s ease.

Mark looked at Donghyuck’s dick, then back up at his face. He had his lip between his teeth again. Donghyuck wondered at once how he looked from Mark’s perspective, what on Earth was going through Mark’s mind at that moment. His dick wasn’t that bad looking, he thought. But maybe the angle Mark had – looking up at Donghyuck the way he was – maybe that wasn’t doing Donghyuck any favors. Why else would Mark have frozen, angled down and in between Donghyuck’s legs?

As if in slow motion, Mark moved. He didn’t take Donghyuck’s dick into his hand, or his mouth. Instead, he reached out and grasped Donghyuck’s leg, curling his hand around Donghyuck’s thigh, right by the crook of his knee.

Donghyuck froze, stilled, as Mark leaned in not towards his cock, but his thigh. Mark paused, briefly, for a moment, then pressed his lips to Donghyuck’s inner thigh, about mid-way down. Donghyuck took in a shaky breath of air, destabilized. He couldn’t figure out why Mark was treating him like this, why he was treating him so tenderly.

Mark drew back, only to press another kiss back in, further up Donghyuck’s inner thigh. Donghyuck’s breath caught. His hand trembled on his cock, and he had to pull back. 

“What are you – ?” he began, before cutting himself off so he couldn’t say another word in that affected, breathy voice.

Mark looked up at Donghyuck from under his lashes. 

“What?” he asked, and he’d drawn away from Donghyuck’s thigh but not far enough. His words ghosted onto Donghyuck’s skin. Donghyuck shivered, though Mark’s breath was hot.

“The cameras won’t pick it up,” Mark said, as if that was what could possibly be troubling Donghyuck, as if that made any sense.

Donghyuck got it, though, seconds later. Mark’s gaze fell back down, and he roved lower on Donghyuck’s thigh, ever closer. He pressed an open mouthed kiss, damp and hot. Then, he started to suck. Soft pressure, gentle, that still sent Donghyuck’s heart hammering, his breath hitching.

Donghyuck couldn’t do more than watch and try not to squirm, as Mark sucked bruises into the soft skin of his thighs, leaving behind trails of conspicuous purple-dotted spots that stood out against his tan skin. 

At some point Mark switched to Donghyuck’s other thigh, burying his head deeper still, ever closer to Donghyuck’s dick. His sucking grew sloppier, messier, his breathing laborious. It took all Donghyuck had not to beg him to touch his dick already. He was so hard it was almost painful, his vision seemed to be almost glazed over, his breathing ragged.

Donghyuck felt sweat beading on his brow. Finally, just when he thought he was going to have to break and ask Mark to stop teasing already, Mark pulled off his thigh. Donghyuck’s inner thighs felt sore. Mark had said cameras wouldn’t pick up the bruises, but Donghyuck could tell they’d be a sight anyways. There was no way the members would miss it, living with him.

He hardly thought of that though, not as Mark locked eyes with him before taking Donghyuck’s cock in hand. Donghyuck issued a low hiss. Mark’s hand was so incredibly soft, but even the slight pressure his loose grip imparted felt amplified. It was difficult to stay quiet.

The eye contact made it all the worse.

Mark held Donghyuck’s eye as he lowered his head down. 

“Have you ever done this before?” Donghyuck asked, just to lessen the building tension.

“No,” Mark’s lips quirked, “You know I haven’t.”

That’s what Donghyuck got for asking stupid questions, he thought. And then he couldn’t think, because Mark had taken the head of Donghyuck’s dick into his mouth.

“Oh,” Donghyuck exhaled. 

Mark’s eyes lowered from his. His mouth was hot and wet and his lips were tight around the most sensitive part of Donghyuck’s cock. He lowered, taking more of Donghyuck into his mouth, and it was everything Donghyuck could do not to come right then and there. He took a shallow inhale, and exhaled, even more strained. Mark went lower still, halfway down Donghyuck’s cock. 

Then, he started sucking. Donghyuck’s breath hitched as Mark pulled back off him, his cheeks hollowing out. The heat, the wetness, the pressure, the look on Mark’s face, determined and focused. Donghyuck felt wracked with pleasure. 

“Oh, God,” Donghyuck exhaled, higher. 

Mark bobbed up and down, never taking Donghyuck in too deep, never quite managing that. What he lacked in technique he made up for with brute enthusiasm. He sucked Donghyuck hard. Donghyuck could feel his tongue against the underside of his cock, thick and sinuous, and lathing over the length of him.

It was getting more and more difficult not to let go. Pressure mounted inside Donghyuck, a coil pulling tighter and tighter. He reached out and his fingers found purchase in Mark’s hair. Mark’s breathing, labored, intermingled with the wet sounds of sucking and Donghyuck’s hitching moans.

“So good,” Donghyuck encouraged him, voice weakened, “Feels so good.”

Mark’s eyes flicked up again, his sucking slowing as his gaze met Donghyuck’s. Donghyuck nearly choked. Mark’s eyes were wide and shining, almost wet. His cheekbones looked sharpened with his lips stretched around Donghyuck’s cock. 

Donghyuck loved Mark like this too, he thought, dazed. Swallowing Donghyuck down, bobbing up and down on his cock.

“You’re doing so good, Mark,” Donghyuck said, his grip tensing and untensing in Mark’s hair. He was speaking just to speak, saying whatever words came to mind.

Mark whimpered, Donghyuck noted, distantly. He pulled off from Donghyuck’s dick, spit or precum or both dripping from his lip, stretching down. He took in wracked breaths, holding Donghyuck’s eye, and Donghyuck was paralyzed, waiting with bated breath for Mark to move again.

Then, he realized he didn’t have to. He realized that maybe Mark too was waiting. Donghyuck bit his lip, then pushed Mark’s head forward once more. It was gentle, just a guiding touch coaxing Mark back down.

He knew he’d read the moment right when Mark went without complaint or resistance. His eyelids fluttered, his lashes fell low as he took Donghyuck in again. Donghyuck firmed up his hold in Mark’s hair but he didn’t dare push him down again. He wouldn’t have been able to if he tried. At that point, he felt reduced to a series of heated points, just sheer sensation, surging up and crashing in waves as Mark sucked and sucked. 

Donghyuck couldn’t even remember what he was saying at that point. It was likely nonsense, praise for Mark, expletives, wordless moans and exhalations. The heated coiled sensation grew tighter and tighter, mounting and mounting. 

Donghyuck couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Mark,” he breathed, a wrecked whisper, “I’m close.”

Donghyuck’s hips bucked up as he searched for more friction, more pressure, just that last bit to push him over the edge. He uttered a string of unintelligible apologies, out of his mind, before letting out another wracked moan. He didn’t know whether Mark would try and keep sucking through his orgasm – if he could. He threw his head back and came, with one last moan.

As he released, he realized he could still feel Mark around him. Donghyuck forced himself to look, his head lolling down. Mark was sucking him through it, cheeks hollowed. Donghyuck weakly stroked Mark’s head as Mark swallowed him down, swallowing his come. The continued pressure wreaked havoc on Donghyuck. His legs were shaking by the time Mark pulled off his cock, a wet sound following. 

Mark’s chest was heaving. He dropped his hand from Donghyuck’s thigh and pressed it against the bed to support himself. Donghyuck watched, dazed, eyes half lidded, still riding the throes of his orgasm, as Mark swiped his hand across the back of his mouth. He didn’t get it all. A smeared streak of cum now spread from the corner of his mouth out. 

Mark lowered his hand, and looked up at Donghyuck. He smiled, weak, almost nervous. Donghyuck felt limp with complete, utter satisfaction but, in that moment, he felt a surge of electric fondness for the boy in between his legs. He loved Mark like this too, he thought, rumpled and messy and with a gaze that burned into Donghyuck.

“So…?” Mark started, his voice hoarse.

“Really, really good,” Donghyuck groaned. A beat, “Best I ever had anyways.”

“Shut up,” Mark replied, his smile spreading wider, pushing his eyes up into crescent moons.

“Make me,” Donghyuck tried. 

Mark rolled his eyes at Donghyuck, but moments later he was leaning over him, placing his arm by Donghyuck’s head. As he loomed over Donghyuck, his eyes bright and his lips flushed from spending so long stretched around Donghyuck’s cock, Donghyuck couldn’t think of any other position he’d rather be in, of any better moment to live.

“Wait,” Donghyuck’s mind was still sluggish, attempting to catch up, “Just.. let me…”

He reached out and thumbed at the corner of Mark’s mouth, swiping to the side. He wiped his cum off on his shirt then, without waiting another moment, wound his fingers back through Mark’s hair. He tugged him down, letting his eyes fall closed, and captured his lips with his own.

Mark tasted different. He tasted of Donghyuck, Donghyuck supposed. Salty, bitter, not a touch of the sweetness from before. He’d swallowed it, Donghyuck kept thinking as they kissed, sloppy and lazy and languid. He’d sucked Donghyuck off and swallowed his cum.

Far too quickly, Mark pulled back.

“Ugh,” he groaned, “I need to shower before the guys get back.”

Donghyuck fell back onto the bed, his gaze still low, his body still relaxed and sated. His gaze roved over Mark, taking in the cum drying on the edge of his cheekbones, on his stomach, on his joggers. Donghyuck, in contrast, was completely clean aside from the sweat beaded on every plane of his body.

“You probably should,” he said, wondering if it would be gross if he fell asleep right there, in that position, stark naked aside from his shirt. 

Donghyuck would blame his post-orgasm haze on the nerve he had to reach forward and splay his hand across Mark’s abdomen one more time. He opened his mouth to say something, possibly about how hot Mark looked then, how grateful he was that they could share that moment, at least once, then closed it. With a laugh, he fell back down.

“‘m tired,” he confessed, letting his eyes fall closed.

He heard Mark’s laughter, low and withheld, reverberating through him all the same.

“But I did all the work.”

“Liar. I made you come,” Donghyuck flapped his hand out. He rolled over onto his side, attempting to find a comfortable position. 

Mark hummed, and a moment later, Donghyuck felt his hand on his hair. It was a brief touch that stilled Donghyuck, rousing him, pulling him forcibly from his contented state. Mark brushed through Donghyuck’s hair. It couldn’t have lasted more than a moment, then it was gone.

He felt the bed shift and heard it creak as Mark rose from it. Donghyuck cracked his eyes open. He watched Mark’s sluggish attempts to leave. His heartbeat, lulled, picked up once more as Mark reached over him to pluck his glasses from where they were resting.

Mark was leaving. He had to, of course. But when he left, Donghyuck knew uncertainty would creep in.

He watched Mark pick his shirt up off from the ground, his efforts to untangle it. Donghyuck cast about for something to say as Mark turned away, to the door. He was in the midst of pulling on his shirt, all the way across the room, when Donghyuck thought something up.

“We should do this again,” he said, light and casual, as if the idea had just struck him, “Could be fun.”

Mark chuckled. Donghyuck’s heart lurched at the sound of it.

Mark pulled on his shirt, and looked over his shoulder at Donghyuck. Even in the darkened room, Donghyuck could see that his cheeks were still flushed a bright, light pink.

“I’m down,” Mark’s eyes flitted from Donghyuck, back to the side. An uncertain smile took over his face, “Maybe next time… I dunno,” he lifted his arm, scratched the back of his neck. Donghyuck watched him struggle for words holding his breath, anticipating what Mark could possibly have to say.

“What?” he asked, impatient. 

Mark’s eyes snapped to him.

“You could fuck me?” he said, lilted up at the end, like a question. 

Donghyuck’s breath caught as a deluge of images filled his mind, prompted by Mark’s words.

“Sure,” he squeaked, before clearing his throat, “Fucking you… yeah, I’d love to.”

A heartstopping grin broke out across Mark’s face before he ducked his head and looked back up.

“Oh. Cool,” he said.

“Cool,” Mark repeated. Then, “I’ll uh… text you? Gotta shower,” he jerked his thumb toward the door.

 The moment would’ve felt helplessly awkward if it wasn’t so endearing, Donghyuck thought. Donghyuck smiled back, raising his hand to pillow his cheek on it. He gazed at Mark, unable to look away.

“You have fun with that, cutie.”

Mark let out a disbelieving sound, but he said nothing in reply. Donghyuck watched appreciatively as Mark pulled his shirt back on. He offered one last “I’ll text you, ‘kay? We can talk... next time,” before ducking out of the room.

Donghyuck couldn’t help but take those words to heart too. Next time, he knew, he’d keep finding new ways to love him. 

Donghyuck grimaced at his own thoughts. He forced himself upright to reach for his shorts and shimmy them on, then collapsed back onto the sheets.

His body still felt so relaxed that he could feel buzzing underneath his skin as he sunk into his bed. His lips tingled and he could taste Mark in his mouth and on his lips as he flicked his tongue out. Mark had said he could fuck him, his voice hoarse and timid, all in one. 

Donghyuck’s eyes fell closed. He didn’t even try to fight his heavy eyelids, knowing it was a lost cause. He’d let himself rest, he decided. A short nap, maybe just thirty minutes. Then he’d force himself to shower and look more presentable. 


Donghyuck woke an unknowable time later to the sound of shuffling, of a slight clicking. He rubbed his eyes as he attempted to shuck off sleep. Jaehyun was back, up to something on his side of the room. It was dark outside, and the clock by Jaehyun’s bedside read a quarter past midnight.

Donghyuck watched him warily, wondering if it was worth it to say hi or if he should just go back to sleep.

Donghyuck crinkled up his nose, as he saw a small orange light flicker, then grow and glow, and connected it with the clicking noise. Jaehyun was lighting candles. Scented candles. Donghyuck’s sleepiness vanished in an instant. He shifted, rising, just as Jaehyun turned around. 

Jaehyun caught his eye, and blinked, expression blank. Donghyuck’s gaze strayed to the candle glowing in his hand. Jaehyun didn’t always light candles… but if the room smelled musky and sweaty and, well, exactly how it would smell after Mark and Donghyuck spent as long as they had making out and getting each other off. Donghyuck could see Jaehyun borrowing some candles for that.

His cheeks burned, heat rushing to them.

“Uh,” Donghyuck broke the silence. 

Jaehyun grimaced. He looked away to place the candle by his bedside, then lifted up a hand, stemming any more words from Donghyuck.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s… only natural, you know. I get it, I mean.”

And, oh, God. Donghyuck wished his bed would open up and swallow him whole. He supposed Jaehyun assuming he’d just spent the whole time he was away jacking off was better than Jaehyun guessing the truth, but not by much. 

“...thanks,” Donghyuck managed, in a defeated voice. 

“Yeah. I’m gonna just – leave for a bit actually. Johnny had something he wanted to show me.” 

Jaehyun awkwardly jerked towards Donghyuck, in an aborted move. He then seemed to think better of it, which was fine by Donghyuck’s already unbearable levels of humiliation. He couldn’t even imagine Jaehyun coming closer and catching a glimpse of a cum stain on Donghyuck’s sheets or something. 

“Oh. Yeah. Cool,” Donghyuck cleared his throat. 

He averted his eyes from Jaehyun as Jaehyun made to leave, hoping Jaehyun would do the same. His cheeks were flaming hot. He knew he must be red. He watched the flame of the candle flicker. Its vanilla cashmere scent had already started to fill the room, alleviating the heady scent that had hung around so long Donghyuck had grown used to it. 

Donghyuck heard the door click closed behind Jaehyun. Cautiously, he reached for his phone. 

His heart lurched unbidden at the notification that he had new messages from Mark. He wondered, panicking briefly that Mark would be telling him that they’d made a mistake, that he had felt awkward, that Donghyuck had been bad, but he saw the latest message, a ‘:)‘, and his fears melted away. Donghyuck grinned as he unlocked his phone.


from: mark

you gave me a hickey on my neck?


i’m not mad but the stylists might be hahaha


wait but it’s not bad though! don’t worry 


it’s actually hard to notice if you aren’t looking too close


kind of a red spot under my jaw? 


oh my god why did i tell you all that. tmi


haha whatever too late now


anyways thanks for today donghyuck, really




Mark had spammed him, sending nine separate messages over the span of thirty minutes. He’d sent the latest an hour ago. Donghyuck sent a brief hope up to universe, willing him to still be awake, then started typing his reply. He felt his heart buoying up as he started typing back, fondness for Mark compounded with the content of his messages – the mental image of the hickey, and Mark’s rambling that showed that maybe he was panicking too. 


to: mark

i’m not worried about your hickey, hyung


and you’re welcome :) can’t wait to do it again


also jaehyun hyung definitely 

thinks i spent the afternoon jerking off


Donghyuck had barely set his phone down, ready to convince himself to go back to sleep rather than wait up for a reply, when his phone screen lit up again.


from: mark

dude that’s so funny hahaha 


doyoung hyung keeps asking me 

why i seem so relaxed 


he even called me quiet?


Donghyuck’s smile grew. He tucked back into bed, snuggling up with his pillow, his cheek smushed up against it as he read over Mark’s messages a second time. They’d be okay, he realized. They really would.


to: mark

wow you’re not going to tell him that 

talking’s tough when you’ve spent as long 

as you have with a dick in your mouth?


from: mark

jesus donghyuck


to: mark



too far?


from: mark



Donghyuck paused at the uncharacteristically short replies. He worried his lip between his teeth. After today, he was starting to wonder where, or who, he’d picked the habit up from. The typing bubble appeared and Donghyuck’s nerves rose with it.


from: mark

i really liked blowing you


your cock felt so good in my mouth


Donghyuck’s lip popped out from his teeth. He drew in a sharp breath, his eyes straying to the door, where Jaehyun could walk in at any moment. Mark wasn’t…


from: mark

but i can’t stop thinking about 

how it’s going to feel up my ass


Donghyuck choked. Mark was. With one last glance towards the door, Donghyuck turned away, facing towards the wall, burying his face in his phone. If Mark wanted to go down that path, Donghyuck was helpless but to follow. 

He settled in, ready to text for awhile yet. If only, he thought, he could keep his reactions to Mark’s texts limited to just the heat waking in his stomach. If only his heart would calm. He had a feeling that would be impossible, though, as the memory of Mark’s lips, of Mark’s tender kisses on his lips and cheeks and eyelids and thighs alike, surfaced. Those memories made it impossible to convince his heart to take a backseat. 

Donghyuck bit his lip and started to tap out a reply.