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"Join Starfleet, Explore the Universe" (or whatever)

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“But, but that's specieist!”

“Which I have argued, but Starfleet has assured me that they cleared it with the UFP Cabinet and that
it's going to be used only on recruitment posters on Earth in heavily Human populated schools and that
there will be a disclaimer at the bottom. Something along the lines of 'And BYOT.'”


“Bring Your Own Traditions.”

The look on Leonard's face told Jim that his brain had stuttered to a halt, wasn't able to absorb the
information he was given, discarded it, and returned to his original line of thought.

“Jim, this doesn't even represent all Human winter holidays, just the ones based on the Christian

“Technically, the symbolism used was adapted from Pagan customs, so it could be said we're
representing some of the oldest cultures on Earth.”

“Not all of them.”

“No, Bones, not all of them.”

Jim sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't know what was more exhausting... dealing
with Starfleet on this matter, or his husband. But Bones was going to have to get over it. He didn't win
against Starfleet so Bones wouldn't be able to win against him. Though, he mused, he might better be
careful HOW Bones lost, or he'd end up on the sofa.

“Hey, I don't want to do it, either, but sometimes we've gotta play ball with the big wigs. That said, we
won't technically be on duty.”

“Which means?”

“I might have spiked the eggnog.”

“Fine,” Bones sighed.

“Good! Now let's get these awful sleep outfits and slippers on and head up to the Bridge.”


Kirk had to admit that at least his and McCoy's Christmas jammies weren't too bad. They had both
been given the old fashioned button up sets, his in green and covered in cartoon reindeer and
ornaments, Bones' in red and decorated with stylized trees. Hikaru's and Pavel's pajamas were even
better, though. They were both in sleep pants with t shirts, Hikaru's with a snowman on the shirt and
little snowmen and snowflakes on the pants; Pavel's with a Star of David on the shirt and other Jewish
symbolism on his pants. Scotty was in what looked like old fashioned long underwear, striped red andwhite like a candy cane.

Jim sat down in the Captain's chair while the other four took positions around him, leaving a gap for
the two tardy commanding officers. Jim knew they had arrived when the turbolift door swished open
and Chekov started straining not to giggle out loud while poking Sulu and pointing for him to look.
Jim turned his head and watched as a very disgruntled Uhura hurried to take her spot while making sure
the t shirt style nightgown she was wearing stayed in place. Then Spock took his place and Jim
understood why Nyota looked pissed.

“Spock?” he asked slowly. “Did they say you have to do the poster?”

“They asked, since I am half Human and they would like to show a non Human taking part in one of
their holiday traditions. I agreed so long as I could choose my own pajamas.”

“Did they know you would pick that?”

“Yes, I cleared the choice with them.”

“It's not really like ours,” Bones pointed at, having a hard time not staring at the First Officer.

“On the contrary, Doctor. It is traditional to give a child a teddy bear as a gift on at least one

Jim nodded, amused, as he took in his XO wearing a fuzzy brown jumpsuit that was, indeed, supposed
to look like a teddy bear. He looked over at Uhura and gave her a questioning look.

“I have one just like it,” she burst out. “He could have negotiated that I wear mine, too, to give the
picture balance, but he didn't even think to ask me if I'd like him to.”

“You said you liked what they sent you.”

“To sleep in, but if I can walk through the corridors and onto the Bridge in my teddy bear jammies, I'd

“Nyota, I am truly sorry, which I can only say so many times before....”

“Oh no, you can say it as many times as I need you to, your tongue is clearly still working.”

“Oh, now, Ny,” Scotty said soothingly as he passed out festive mugs full of frothing eggnog. “I'm not
matching anyone either.”

“Yeah, but you look great,” she pouted. “I'd rather be a candy cane then in this short thing. Damn my
nice legs. That's what this is.”

“Well, we'll thwart that,” Jim announced. “Stand in Spock's position behind the chair, hiding your legs,
just stick out a foot so they can see the elf slippers. Spock, you take her position. Everyone else, get
into your usual positions, make sure the elf slippers are visible, hold up your mugs, and smile for the

“Should I put my hood up?” Spock asked.

“Absolutely,” Jim and Bones said together.

“How am I supposed to smile for this without it looking fake?” Uhura complained, still not happy.

“There's rum in the eggnog,” McCoy told her.

When the Captain crossed his legs, showing off his Santa slippers, and gave the signal for the yeoman
to snap the picture, Nyota's smile was the most brilliant of all.

The End