Your penchant for bad luck was, in many ways, extraordinary. It was something of a running joke throughout the whole of Konohagakure and your reputation of being a certifiable disaster more often than not preceded you. The village elders had watched over your clumsy, accident-prone disposition for a long time and they apparently talked about it with some frequency because there were now children who were much younger than you and still in the academy who seemed fully capable of recognizing you on sight. You always found this particular strain of notoriety exceedingly odd, but they tended to either give you a wide breadth of space or take precautionary measures to keep you (and everything in the immediate vicinity) in one piece. While an incredibly sweet gesture, you couldn’t help thinking it was all rather unnecessary.
Until tonight, that is.
Somehow or another you’d managed to outdo yourself in the blundering nincompoop department and, in all honesty, you weren’t even entirely sure how you’d accomplished it. All you’d wanted to do was take a nice, relaxing bubble bath after a particularly taxing day at the hospital. It hadn’t seemed like a tall order at the time and everything miraculously went off without a hitch up until a certain point. You couldn’t identify the exact moment where things took a turn for the worse no matter how many times you went over it in your mind though. It had all just happened too fast for you to make much sense of it in retrospect but the undeniable proof of your klutzy bumbling was now laid out for the whole world to see in the form of a partially wrecked bathroom.
You’d slipped as you were climbing out of the tub. That much you remembered with near startling clarity. The deafening squeak of your foot losing traction on the smooth porcelain surface still echoed in your ears even after the fact, and you must have reached out in a blind attempt to catch yourself because you’d slammed your fist into the tub spout hard enough to break it clean off. Your head smacked into the wall at the exact same moment, leaving you stunned and disoriented, so you hadn’t immediately realized just how dire the situation really was. You thought you’d only damn near given yourself a concussion, which was bad enough, but then the water had started gushing out at an alarming rate. With nothing to stopper it, the pressure in the pipes was freely blasting its chilly contents all over your splayed out body and you’d jumped up faster than you would’ve thought possible. The only problem was that you were still very wet and squeaky clean after your indulgent bath so your foot slipped right out from under you almost as soon as you stepped down on the tile floor. You went careening into the vanity you’d spent a small fortune on the previous summer and the resulting crash, complete with cracking and splintering wood for added effect, told you in no uncertain terms that you’d fucked up. Bad.
Struggling to find your feet, you took one look at the damage and promptly ran out into the hallway. You called Kakashi, crying incoherently into the receiver about your bathroom and how you were pretty sure you’d broken your wrist on the second fall but, if nothing else, it was at least badly sprained. It was a small blessing that he’d understood anything you were even trying to say to him. He showed up at your apartment not a whole five minutes later.
“Well,” He said, straightening from his hunched position over the tub as he shook stray water droplets from his hands. “I think that’s about the extent of what I can do for right now. You’ll have to talk to your landlord in the morning about getting it properly fixed. This is, ah, a little outside my realm of expertise, you know.”
You nodded miserably and hugged your fluffy robe closer to your shivering body. The spray from the broken spout had been ice cold but you hadn’t yet had the presence of mind to get dressed and you were freezing.
“I’m never gonna’ get my security deposit back.” It wasn’t a question. You knew the truth of the matter deep down in your heart of hearts.
“Probably not.” Kakashi nodded in agreement. “But this certainly makes for quite the story. I don’t think anyone could have ever predicted you’d demolish your own bathroom like this.” He shot a quick, surreptitious glance at the ruined vanity and you felt your throat cinch shut. “I have to say though, I am rather impressed. You’re nothing if not thorough.”
“Oh my god!” You wailed, bringing your hands up to cover your face. It was taking everything you had not to start bawling again. “I can’t believe it! How could something like that even happen? What did I do to deserve this sort of suffering? I just don’t understand!”
Crossing the short distance to the doorway where you’d been anxiously hovering, Kakashi gently folded you up in his arms and hugged you tight to the front of his body. “You didn’t do anything, princess.” He told you reassuringly as you all but melted into the comforting heat coming off him. “It’s just who you are and I for one love that clumsy streak of yours. It’s cute.”
“It is not!” You insisted, the sound of your voice muffled by the broad expanse of his chest.
“There, there,” He offered the top of your head a sympathetic pat only to tense at the pained hiss you issued in response. “Really, I’m much more concerned about you right now. Are you sure you’re alright? I can take you to the hospital to have that nice little goose egg you’re sporting checked out.”
“No, I’m okay. Just a little banged up is all.” You said, though not without a noted hint of melancholy tinging your voice for effect. “Sorry if I scared you on the phone, Kashi’. I was still in shock and panicking. Big time.”
“I did notice that.” He said dully. “And your wrist?”
Leaning back in his arms so you could look up at him, you smiled. “Not broken. I checked while you were taking care of the pipe.”
Kakashi hummed doubtfully and narrowed his one visible eye at you. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was genuinely disappointed in you and your self-evaluation, but the faint gleam of mischief twinkling in his dark iris gave him away.
“I think I’ll be the judge of that, little one.”
That was all the warning you got before he grabbed you around the waist and effortlessly lifted you off your feet. You yelped in surprise at suddenly finding yourself in the air instead of on the ground and you quickly devolved into a fit of giggles as Kakashi ever so carefully hauled you into the bedroom. His grip on your middle was sure and steady, just as it always was, and you leaned into him so you could wrap your arms around his neck. It didn’t exactly fix your bathroom (or get you your security deposit back) but the simple intimacy you two shared even in the worst possible situations did serve to cheer you up just a bit.
A great deal, actually, if you were being totally honest.
“I don’t deserve you.”
“Funny,” He murmured. “I was just thinking the same thing.”
You fixed him with a pointedly playful look as he gently deposited you onto the edge of the bed before dropping to one knee in front of you. The sight made your heart skip a beat - and not entirely due to innocent, ring themed reasons. When he held his hand up expectantly, you reached out and obediently placed your wrist in the upturned palm. Kakashi loosely closed his fingers around you, not quite touching the slightly swollen flesh yet but tentatively planning to. You braced yourself for the inevitable.
“How would you rate it?”
“The fall?” You immediately quipped, unable to stop yourself or your smart mouth. “I have to give it points for being such a spectacular disaster but overall I wouldn’t recommend it. Two out of ten.”
“Hmm. You must not be in too much pain if you can still crack jokes.” He said thoughtfully, glancing down at your curled hand resting in his. He gave it the softest squeeze with just the rough pads of his fingertips and you went ramrod stiff, biting back a sharp gasp. “I trust you’ll let me know if this hurts.”
You quickly nodded, suddenly tight-lipped and noticeably a shade paler than when you’d started. “Mhm.”
Kakashi stole a quick glance at your face, looking hardly convinced, but he did turn his attention back to the task at hand without pushing the issue. He knew you better than anybody else and he’d become something of an expert when it came to dealing with your hardheaded, stubborn streak over the course of this relationship and for that alone you loved him more then you could ever put into words. That didn’t necessarily mean you were going to make this any easier on him though and you whimpered plaintively when he started testing the flexibility and tenderness of your limb.
“A little.” You said. It actually hurt quite a bit. You weren’t ready to admit that just yet though.
With a deliberate amount of care, he slowly bent your hand down towards the floor. “What about that?”
“You’re right. It’s not broken.” Kakashi declared after a prolonged moment of consideration. “But certainly sprained. We should put some ice on it and tuck you into bed before you freeze your butt off.”
Giggling, you pulled your hand back to your lap when he let up his hold on you, protectively cradling it in the plush fabric of your robe. “You’re a good man, Kashi’,” You told him sweetly. “And a good daddy.”
A sharp expression flitted across his face (what you could see of it anyway) and solidified into a look of concentrated, primal lust in the time it took you to blink. It was one you were all too familiar with and you didn’t exactly have a word for it yet, but you’d anticipated it all the same. Your choice of wording was nothing if not deliberate and you grinned as he slowly stood up to tower over you from your spot on the bed. Kakashi had an innate ability to make himself look smaller than he really was, unintimidating and benign. But in moments like this when he seemed to forget his closely guarded mask of placidity you suddenly realized just how big he could actually seem.
You weren’t even the least bit surprised when he reached out and braced his hand on your shoulder, guiding you back to lie on the mattress. Acquiescing, you looked up at him with undisguised adoration and arched your back slightly when he then set his sights on the sash around your waist. Pain immediately shot up your spine, throbbing all along the way, and you promptly stopped trying to show off.
He pinned you with a bemused look that made the skin at the corner of his eye crinkle slightly and made short work of the loosely tied knot with a simple flick of his wrist. Leaning over your prone body, Kakashi reverently parted your robe to expose your already cool skin to the chilly night air. Your nipples, still stiff after that unceremonious ice shower you’d received, puckered to an almost uncomfortable degree out in the open without the fluffy material to protect them. It made your breath hitch, molten lava sparking in your gut as you squirmed at the sensation. Nothing got you quite so hot and bothered as being laid bare for his leisurely perusal and you attentively watched his next move with a great deal of interest.
“Looks like someone’s still too wound up for bed,” Kakashi murmured, more to himself than anything else, his dark gaze regarding the tight peaks of your nipples in due consideration. “Personally, I’d have thought you’d be exhausted after falling not once but twice and destroying half your bathroom in the process.”
“Daddyyyy,” Whining, you fixed him with an imploring pout and drew your legs up onto the bed, splaying them wide in open invitation. “Don’t be mean to me.”
“But you make it so easy sometimes, princess.” He said affectionately as he reached out to palm one of your tits in his big, calloused hand. You struggled not to arch in delight. “Who else other than you could accomplish such a feat and in such a short amount of time at that? Most people would have to actually put in an effort if they wanted to remodel.”
Laughter bubbled within your chest at his playful teasing but it was quickly smothered by something much more carnal. Prettily batting your lashes at him, you brought your uninjured hand up to your face and gave your knuckle a coquettish bite. All for his viewing pleasure. “You said it was cute ...”
“It is. In the most improbable, frustrating way, your klutzy tendencies are adorable. But do you know what's even cuter?”
“What?” You asked, playing along.
“This.” He said as he grabbed at your hip and half rolled you over so your ass was poking up in the air. The open palm of his hand connected with your right cheek, not hard enough to hurt but with just enough sudden force to catch you off guard and make the plump swell of flesh jiggle. You squawked in surprise but he was already pulling you back around so that you were lying flat again and you laughed before you could catch it.
“You really did a number on yourself though,” Kakashi cut across your tittering, abruptly serious. “You’re covered in bruises.”
“Kiss it and make it better.”
Issuing a terse sigh, he leaned down and braced his hands on the bed, effectively caging you in between his arms. You smiled up at him as you reached out to slip a finger into the skintight material covering the lower half of his face which you tugged down over his chin. His kissably plump lips were drawn in a thin, no-nonsense line and you hesitated at the unusually severe expression, wondering idly if he was actually upset with you.
“If I give you lots of kisses,” Kakashi intoned. “Will you promise you’ll at least try to be a little more careful?”
You nodded slowly, speaking in a small and fragile voice.”Are you mad at me, daddy?”
He softened instantly and the slightest hitch of his mouth drew your attention to the equally kissable beauty mark just under his lip. “No. I’m not mad at you, princess. Just worried. You could’ve really hurt yourself today. You could have even broken your neck if you were just a little less lucky.”
“I don’t see how my luck can get any worse than this.” You rolled your eyes huffily, fighting down the urge to cross your arms too.
“It really could’ve been worse though. At least all you’ve got to show for it are some bruises and a sprained wrist.”
“And a demolished bathroom!” You bitterly reminded him.
“Don’t argue with me, baby. You know I’m right.” Kakashi soothed, tenderly cupping your cheek in his hand and drawing your attention back around towards him when you tried to pout and turn away. “Promise me you’ll be more careful. Please?”
It was impossible to maintain your resolve when he looked into your eyes like that, when he touched your face like this and especially when he spoke to you in that soft, imploring tone like he was. You would’ve liked to keep up the act for just a little bit longer but couldn’t seem to find the strength of mind to do so. He had you absolutely wrapped around his little finger.
“I promise. I’ll be more careful.”
“Good girl.” Leaning close, he gave the tip of your nose a quick peck. “We’ll go buy you a bath mat tomorrow, how’s that sound?”
You couldn’t seem to get control of the smile on your face as you reached up, unhindered, to pull his Hitai-ate loose from around his head. “It sounds like a plan. But first, you have to get me ready for bed.”
“Of course. How could I ever forget?” Kakashi chuckled, letting you pull the steel-plated headband off, exposing the long vertical scar bisecting his left eye. His crimson red, copy wheel eye. You’d always found it beautifully fascinating and you admired it now with no shortage of interest as you tossed the Hitai-ate onto the sheets without so much as a second thought.
It was always such a thrill to see his face bare and exposed, a privilege very few others were afforded, and when he leaned down again you tilted your head back to accept the kiss he pressed to your mouth. Slow and savory, he took his time just tasting you and enjoying the velvety plush press of your lips on his. Altogether a fantastic kiss that left you feeling a little flustered and lightheaded when he finally pulled away but, in the end, it was just one kiss.
“I need more than that.” You told him with lilting mischief.
Kakashi smirked. “Quiet, little girl. You’re going to get all that you need and then some.”
Your pulse started to pick up, excitement quickly mounting within your body and effectively staving off the lingering chill. Speaking any of the thoughts running a mile a minute through your punch drunk mind suddenly became a great challenge and all you could do was draw a slow breath as he kissed your chin, your forehead, your eyelids. There wasn’t an inch of your face that he didn’t kiss, peppering you in the single-mindedly amorous and sentimental attention only Kakashi was capable of giving someone. It was intrinsically poignant but warmhearted all the same. Deep felt emotion swelled up within your chest, threatening to overwhelm and suffocate you if you weren’t careful.
“Shh. Just relax. Let daddy take care of you, princess.”
Kakashi’s breath was almost unbearably hot against your skin and it made your own breathing come quicker. Faster. You tried to press up into him as he started to work his way down the column of your neck, wanting so badly to expose the vulnerable line of your throat to his seeking mouth, but a sharp pain in your back halted you almost immediately. He was right. You really were covered in aches and pains from the tips of your toes straight up to the top of your head. Especially your head. There was no doubt you’d wake up in the morning with a killer migraine pounding away inside your skull but for the moment at least you contented yourself with merely drawing a deliberately slow inhale.
One kiss after another, Kakashi trailed his plump lips over the line of your collarbone, dotted your shoulders in quick, fleeting pecks and gradually made his way down the center of your rapidly rising and falling chest. He paused just long enough to shower your breasts in his special brand of affection; nipping at the skin here, taking a long wet swipe with his tongue there. At a frustratingly sedate pace, he worked his way inward towards your nipple which he brushed his lips over, ghosting a kiss to the very tip of it. You gasped and shuddered at the brief contact.
“Ooh ... don’t tease me, daddy.”
Cocking an expectant brow, Kakashi graced you with one of his trademark lazy grins. “What’s the magic word, baby girl?” He prompted then teasingly blew on your tightly coiled nipple.
You moaned, softly. Your lashes fluttered and you squirmed underneath him. “Please?”
He hummed in approval and pressed his lips to the rosy bud, more firmly than before. You concentrated on the sensation of it as he kissed your nipple the same way he had your mouth, working it with tender but no less skilled precision. It was intoxicating and you whimpered at the loss when he deemed that one adequately well-loved and moved to repeat the process on the other side. You were flushed hot with need by now, the cold that seemed to have permeated your bones long forgotten in the heat of Kakashi’s passion. Everything about the moment was so incredibly divine you actually almost managed to forget about the disaster zone in your bathroom. You wanted to stay like this, here with him, forever.
Lifting up off you, he fixed you with a playful look of warning. “What was that?” His hand swung and lightly smacked across the meat of your breast. More of a degrading reprimand than an earnest punishment for speaking out of line but you still squealed in surprise as much as joy.
“Mmm. That’s what I thought.”
A pleased smile pulled at his mouth as he craned his head down again, picking up right where he’d left off and lightly worrying your nipple between his lips. You grabbed at the sheets underneath you, whining even as you squeezed your thighs together in a desperate bid for some much-needed friction. Nothing ever slipped under Kakashi’s radar though and he shimmied his way further down the length of your body, trailing kisses over your fluttering stomach with a noted increase in urgency. He was generally very good about not keeping you waiting for too long and as he littered your hips in butterfly kisses you shifted on the bed so you could spread your legs again and make room for him.
Kakashi stopped just short of the finish line though and nuzzled into your soft belly, drawing a deep breath to taste your scent. His wild, haphazard hair tickled your navel as he did it and you had to bite down on your lip to stop yourself from giggling. You couldn’t wait much longer, the need building up inside your loins and rapidly reaching critical mass, but you didn’t want to take the chance of reminding him that you were ticklish right at this particular moment. He wasn’t above flipping the switch without warning and turning a heated scene into a tickle fight so you valiantly kept your composure and the effort paid off.
With a final nip to the pliable flesh of your tummy, he slid down to kneel on the floor, depriving you of his body heat in the short time it took him to get comfortable and grab onto your thighs. Kakashi yanked you right to the edge of the bed until your ass was dangerously close to slipping off and you had to suppress an excited groan of anticipation. He took his time gathering your legs in his strong hands, helping you hook them over the broad line of his shoulders so he could get as close to you as was physically possible and then he finally - mercifully! - lowered his face over the apex of your mound.
You held your breath, watching in wide-eyed fascination as he pressed a lingering kiss to the top of your slit. The warmth of his skin coupled with the juicy give of those full lips just over your clit made your pussy clench around nothing. You were already so wet, you could feel it soaking your inner labia, and you eagerly jutted your hips up towards his face. Kakashi murmured something incoherent against your pussy but it sounded an awful lot like disapproval. Your suspicions were confirmed when he readjusted the way he was gripping your hips and pinned your lower half to the bed, holding you in place. A quiet mewl of wanting rolled off your tongue but you still complied with his wishes, forcing yourself to be patient even though that was the very last thing on your mind.
Satisfied that you weren’t going to put up a fight about it, Kakashi nuzzled into the meat of your cunt and slowly spread the fleshy lips apart one excruciating inch at a time. It was maddening and you were helpless to do anything about it. His tongue flicked out, gently probing its way through your slick folds until he found the erogenous, nubby button through touch alone and you stiffened against him. Moaning when the first taste of you spread across his tastebuds, he swirled his tongue around your clit in increasingly tighter circles until it was grinding flat into your sensitive core and you were shaking uncontrollably. You gasped and groaned, twisting your hands in the sheets and digging the balls of your feet into his shoulder blades in a poor attempt at grounding yourself. It wasn’t nearly enough to bother him though and he dutifully lapped at your pussy, unperturbed, working you over with deftly quick swipes that made your toes curl.
“Aah ... god! Daddy ...!”
Coming up for a quick breath of air, Kakashi licked his slick mouth and regarded your flushed, needy cunt with nothing short of adoration. “That’s it, baby girl. Let me hear you.” He murmured, giving the tender back of your thigh a quick swat so you’d cry out again.
You threw your head back against the bed, keening up at the ceiling, and he dove back in to attack your pussy with renewed fervor. Setting his sights on that delicate, pink pearl again, Kakashi relentlessly played with it - licking, sucking, worrying, the lightest, teasing nibbles to drive you absolutely wild underneath him - until he could tell you were balancing precariously on the edge of oblivion. The way your muscles locked up, your legs straining against the building pressure boring down on your nerves, and the clipped, shallow breaths you were taking between wanton moans told him everything he needed to know. Your tells were as much his own, so intimately familiar it bordered on obscene, and he quickly ducked his head further down, abandoning your clit in favor of your sopping wet entrance.
He swirled the rim once, collecting as much of your sticky discharge as he could before slipping his tongue inside the tight warmth of your body. A very nearly hysterical groan burst out of your mouth before you even realized what was happening and every hair on your body abruptly stood on end. You arched so hard that you came up off the bed for a split second as if pulled by some invisible, unseen force. Aches and pains be damned. It felt good, mind-numbingly so, and you could feel your consciousness starting to slip as you shattered around the wet, gummy intrusion.
Kakashi only pushed his nose even tighter to your spasming cunt, tongue fucking you through the throes of your release and letting you ride his face to completion. You wailed, breathlessly crying out for him, immensely grateful that he’d given your pussy something to squeeze down on even as you shuddered and twitched. It didn’t feel half as gratifying as his cock would have, thick and girthy as it was, but this wasn’t a bad substitute either. His tongue did a good job of milking your orgasm right to the edge of discomfort and it was only when you started to whimper that he finally pulled back, giving you a much-needed reprieve.
“God ...” You hissed, drawing your knees up towards your chest as the last lingering tremors rolled through your body. It was hard to even think straight after that. You were drenched between the thighs and thoroughly drained, soaring on cloud nine but feeling incredibly raw in the aftermath. Still a little breathless. Satiated. “You’re far too good at oral for someone who always keeps his mouth hidden away, you know. Just doesn’t seem fair.”
“I always repay in kind.” Kakashi shot back lightly, teasingly, and he gave your thigh a quick pinch before finding his feet again. Leaning over the bed, he braced his hands on either side of your head so he could peer down at you with a little half-smile. That his whole face seemed to glisten with the evidence of your arousal did not escape your notice and you squeaked, delighted, as you coyly brought your hands up to your face. “What’s all this?” He asked, seemingly at a genuine loss.
“Nothing.” You cooed back. “Just happy because it’s your turn now ...”
“Oh, no. Not tonight, princess. The whole point of that was to get you ready for bed, not wind you up again.” He said in that tone of voice he reserved specifically for those rare moments where he felt the need to put his foot down. “Besides, we still need to put some ice on that wrist. It’s going to swell up like a balloon at this rate.”
Turning slightly, you peered down between the two of you to shoot a knowing glance at the very obvious tent in his pants. He so wasn’t fooling anyone. “That’s not fair to you though. Please, daddy.” You whined, pouting. “Please let me take care of you too.”
“I said no, baby girl. Maybe tomorrow night. If you’re good.” Kakashi paused, offering you a sly smirk that seemed to suggest nothing but trouble for your immediate future. Angry landlords notwithstanding. “Unlike someone in this room, I have patience and I know that the payoff will be worth the wait. Just let me wash my face and then I’ll be right back with an icepack, okay?”
He was already standing up to go and you didn’t have much choice in the matter so you flopped over onto your side. You caught the faint sound of Kakashi’s quiet chuckle on the way out the door and in the ensuing silence, you realized that you were actually pretty damn tired. Not to mention sore. So very, very sore in a way you hadn’t been since graduating from the academy all those many years ago.
Honestly, the more you laid there and thought about it, the more it felt like you’d been trampled by a herd of incensed Nara deer and you decided, with a yawn, that he was probably right. Now was the time for rest. Tomorrow would test your penchant for bad luck in any number of ways and it seemed very likely that you’d need Kakashi’s cock stretching you out then more than you did now. That line of reasoning was perfectly solid, you told yourself.
You were fast asleep by the time he returned with the ice.