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To Stay (In Your World)

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"I miss my friend... I want her back."

Amara's words echoed through her mind as she walked home clutching the necklace, her hand starting to weaken... slowly starting to let go... It plays in her head again, all those romantic moments they shared together, every kiss, every touch, it hurts. It hurts Maya so much that it weakens her and keeps her from holding on tight. She doesn't know if she could still hold on to their friendship knowing she could've had more.

Her mind rewinds way back...back before the dates, the love making, their first kiss. It brought her back to the day they met...

...

Her parents brought her to a new place and she was excited. It was a beautiful place filled with new people. She's excited to make some friends.

And then she saw her. The most beautiful person she'd ever seen. "Wow", she whispered. She just had to introduce herself.

As she was walking towards the other girl, she noticed the tear stains on her cheeks. It saddened her to see the pretty girl looking like she's in pain.

"Hi." She tried to say. She knew she said it loud enough for the girl to hear but she just ignored her. "That's a little bit rude.", She thought.

She saw that the girl was staring at the glass of water in front of her. She had an idea and she held back a chuckle. She cleared her throat.

"How do you ask a glass of water what it’s doing?"

That question made the girl look up but she only frowned at Maya and looked back at the glass she was staring at earlier.

"A glass of water is an inanimate object and is therefore incapable of having a thought process or understanding basic English." She said, sounding so irritated.

Maya didn't seem so bothered by it and cleared her throat again as she sat down in front of the girl and said, "Water you doing?"

The girl was forced to look at Maya who was grinning so big. It was so contagious, she couldn't help but smile back. Maya mentally high-fived herself.

"That was stupid." The girl said, still smiling.

"It made you smile, though." Maya said proudly and held out her hand. "I'm Maya by the way, I'm new here and I was hoping we could be friends."

Amara accepted the hand and shook it. "My name is Amara and as long as you don't keep making bad jokes like that, we'd be good friends."

Maya held her hands up. "No promises." Amara chuckled at that and stood up, offering Maya to give her a tour of the place.

...

 

Looking back at the memory, she realized how lonely Amara was, how lonely they both were before they met. They became each other's companion. Her mind brought her to more memories of them together - laughing together, crying together, complaining about life together. The special bond that they have... it's so beautiful and that realization gave her the strength to keep holding on. Maya knows Amara needs her just as much as she needs the other girl. It would be selfish to let go of their bond just because she couldn't get what she wanted... It would be painful... to look at her and know that she wouldn't be able to have her the way she wanted but she'd Have her at least. They'd have each other. It had to be enough. She'd have to endure it. For Amara. She realized since that day they met, she'll do anything for Amara. Even if it hurts her.

 

They talked the next day...

"I would need time and space so I can move on from you." Maya said, a single tear dropping from her left eye. Amara ran her thumb across her cheek to wipe it. She started crying herself.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you like this." It was Maya's turn to wipe her tears.

"Hey... It's not like you intentionally wanted to hurt me. These feelings...we can't control them. You can't help but feel the way you do, the same way I can't help but feel this pain right now... but I'm glad enough you told me how you felt. So you wouldn't keep hurting on your own." She said as she hugged her best friend.

"It's not your fault... It's just how we feel. And with time, we'll get through this, okay?" She tried to pull back but Amara only held her tighter.

"You're just so important to me and I just... I don't wanna lose you, Maya." Amara said, holding on to her dear friend.

"You're not going to lose me, Amara. You're stuck with me just as I am stuck with you, forever. It's gonna be a really annoying lifetime." Maya tried to joke to lighten up the mood.

Amara looked at her, their faces so close to each other and Maya tried to resist the urge to kiss her.

"But for now, I need time...and space." She said as she leaned away from Amara and diverted her gaze. "I wanna be able to look at you and not get hurt by the fact that I cant kiss you anymore." She looked back at Amara with a sad smile.

Amara started tearing up again. She rested her forehead against the side of Maya's temple and Maya closed her eyes. Amara kissed her cheek, so soft yet so firm, and it lasted for almost a minute.

Amara wanted to say it. "I love you. I wanna spend my whole life with you, too. That's why I'm doing this." But she said nothing and rested her head on Maya's shoulder.

"I understand if you don't want to see me for a while." She said as she took Maya's hand. "But please, come back to me when you're ready."

Maya chuckled at that. "Of course. Isn't that the point?"

They stood up, Amara still holding on to Maya's arms and held her close. Maya brushed the pieces of hair that were in Amara's face and leaned in to kiss her forehead. "We're gonna be okay", she whispered as she pulled away and gave a sad yet hopeful smile.

When Maya was gone, she fished the necklace underneath her shirt. Finding the piece of metal, she held on to it. She holds on to Maya, keeping her close to her chest, to her heart. She'll hold on to her forever.