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You got me questioning

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In his sleep, Zenitsu can actually feel each piece of grass blade touching his bare feet, and the tip of his ears tingle with a pristine voice singing somewhere ahead. This is a dream, he knows, but it seems as if this voice, this song, it’s calling for me. He takes a step, moving a curtain of vines out of the way and in the middle of the most beautiful clearing he’s ever seen, a glimpse of magical blue flames, and a nude man playing his flute.

Funny, he thinks. I thought it was a voice, not a melody.

Taking another step, the sound of flute seems to become dualized, as if there’s someone else playing with the lone man, and yet it’s only him, his flute and Zenitsu’s cautious steps, until all sounds stop, and the man shows his face.

Zenitsu wakes with a start and the image of green eyes piercing his soul as a flight attendant announces the start of the landing process. In the haze of sleep, short term memory comes back and he’s reminded ’oh, that’s right, I’m on vacation. Hawaii bound, leaving all stress and work behind in Japan; goodbye stern businessmen and hello beautiful ladies in hay skirts!’

Agatsuma Zenitsu. 25 years old, lanky body leaning on the shorter side (sigh, japanese genetics), working in the office of a high-tech selling company almost 24/7, surviving on energy drinks and pushing suicidal thoughts away; that is, until his best friend and guardian angel Tanjirou stepped his foot down, practically demanding him to take his vacation days or else.

That’s how he got here, in Hawaii, checking his belongings before trailing to catch a cab alongside other (obvious) tourists with their cameras hanging ready around their necks and ’seriously, why the bucket hats, we’re not even out in the sun yet! And sandals?? Dear God, don’t these people have any sense of fashion?’

His plans are quite simple: spend almost all of his savings to stay in a paradisiac beach hotel and Not. Move. An. Inch. From the luxurious-looking chairs at the seaside,15th pina colada in hand. He came here to relax and chase after hawaiian girls, not go around like those penguin tourists!

Not losing a second of his time, as soons as he checks into the hotel (thanks grampa for all those english lessons!), Zenitsu runs up to his room, a cute suite with a small balcony outside, puts his yellow swimming trunks on, slathers suncreen all over, picks a cool pair of sunglasses and heads out immediately to catch the best spot possible for beach babes watching.

“Cue in hawaiian guitar, folks” a deep sigh leaves Zenitsu’s mouth as he sinks down further into the chair under a parasol, just as he imagined. “This is short of perfect! Now I need to find good company and have the best fourteen days of my life!”

There are many people milling around, walking, bathing in the ocean, minding their business; people just like Zenitsu, tourists from all over the world that meant infinite possibilities for flirting!

Boldened by that thought, he decides to take a bath and maybe flirt with a few girls in the water; that proves to be a wrong decision, because the girls he chooses know how to swim better than he does and always go further and further away into the sea. Zenitsu isn’t a quitter, so of course he follows!

Why, though. Bad, bad decision.

“Watch out!”

Why do people only say watch out when it’s too late? Is what the poor blond would’ve thought, that is, if he was still conscious. Someone’s volleyball hit Zenitsu straight in the face, knocking him out enough time to make him sink.

“That flute... again?”

He’s back into the dream, a muddled version of it. He can’t see the man anymore, only hear his melody. Zenitsu has the impression that he should be panicked, because with the flute, strong drums start slowly rising in tune, transforming the beautiful calm song into a war hymn fast enough to give him whiplash. They keep on growing louder and louder till his ears can’t take it anymore, he tries to cover them, it doesn’t work, all he wants to do is SCREAM

But instead of screaming, he coughs out water, coming back into the living world.

He’s laying on the sand, a circle of people around looking down at him with worried eyes. He registers two children crying, probably the ones who hit him with the volleyball, and then the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen in his life comes into focus, so close to his face he might pass out again.

Blue hair dripping with salty water, soft cheeks, pink and plump lips semi open, huffing from extertion, and the greenest eyes under furrowed eyebrows. ’Wait, did this girl just save me?? Did we touch mouths while I was out??’

Still bewildered, Zenitsu asks:

“Did I die and go to heaven? You must be an angel!”

Her beautiful face contorts even more and a girl this pretty shouldn’t be allowed to look so enraged, Zenitsu’s poor heart can’t handle it!

But the spell is broken as soon as the beauty opens her mouth:

“Haa? What did you just say, haole??”

Wait a second. A gruff, MANLY voice!? That girl is actually a MAN!!?

And for sure, as soon as the blond lowers his already wide eyes, instead of bossoms, he sees muscly shoulders, toned arms and pecs, abs to die for, the v shape of a very masculine navel ending at the edge of a super tight red boxer speedo.

He keeps looking at the man from head to toe for a long time, mouth gaping like a fish, and it worsens as said attractive male gets up and Zenitsu realizes that all this time he had a hand on his chest, and he momentarily misses the warmth and grounding weight.

“Tsk, did you get too much water in your stupid brain or were you always like that?” The man snickers, making Zenitsu spur awake and back on his feet.

“I-I’m not stupid! I just got the memo that I kissed a MAN! How dare you, huh?? Don’t you have female baywatchers for that?!”

“Listen up you blond bitch, I just saved your life” It’s unfair how this sun-kissed Apollo towers over Zenitsu menacingly, his threat low enough that other people don’t hear it. “If you got a problem with that, meet me after my shift so I can undo what I just did by drowning your sorry ass myself!!!” There’s real aggression in his face, like a feral animal, and that’s what makes Zenitsu back down, biting fearful tears.

To add insult to injury, the misterious guy spits on the ground, turns and saunters off, leaving Zenitsu to reel in all that happened. First he almost dies on his first day in hawaii, the prettiest girl ever saves him and then becomes a man! A very hot man, to boot! I mean, look at that ass, walking away, what a privileged vision— What. The. Fuck.

“DO I LIKE MEN??!!!”