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This new Trashmouth tour is about as fresh as your mother on one of her good days. No, but really: why do people still go to see this guy, again?

Readers, you must really hate me, because when Richie Tozier announced his “Guilty Pleasure” tour a couple months ago, you were all very insistent that I see it, despite me being pretty clear on my opinions of the guy.

“But Chris, if you DON’T see it, how am I supposed to form my own opinion on it?” comments user IsabellaE. Well, Isabella, while I’m sure this was meant as a joke, if you want to follow my lead, go into any of Tozier’s shows with low expectations and form your opinion from there.

And, okay, despite what it might seem, I don’t hate the guy. His comedy has changed very little since his rise to prominence in 2002, and comes in the form of mostly vulgar sex jokes, which is just not my cup of tea and is, in my opinion, painfully uncreative. After watching and reviewing two of his sets, I was happy to continue with my career, and let Tozier continue with his, but you readers (and my editor) had other plans, and thus here we are.

“Guilty Pleasure” mostly tells of the man’s struggle of adjusting to life in his 30’s which, according to him, is when all women “just collectively decide you’re not bangable anymore. Like, what in the everloving f- - - -’s up with that?” It also briefly delves into awkward encounters in the grocery store which somehow still connect to sex. My personal favorite is when he takes a poor man in the same aisle as him leaning down to get granola as a message that’s he wants to jump Tozier’s bones. “Look man, if you’re watching this, I don’t know how to tell you, but I’m not…you know. You know?” Believe me, he knows. If that man is gay, Richard, he probably has better standards than to try to flirt with you.

In the end, Tozier delivers a standard performance with the same stale jokes as always, that never really feel like himself. Perhaps I would be more lenient if he was just starting out , but the man has been doing this for years, and he still hasn’t found an act that makes an audience feel like they’re watching something genuine. I probably won’t be seeing it again, and it wasn’t anything special, so overall I wouldn’t recommend it.
Rating: ⭑⭑☆☆☆

(Peeler, Christopher. “Richie Tozier Still Has No Idea What He’s Going For”, The New Yorker, 2007. Web.) 

How long, would you say, for-that it takes for you to sort of flesh out an idea you have?
Well, it kinda depends, you know? Sometimes, I only have to take a second before I can write a whole joke down, but other times it takes a bit. I have to bounce back with a friend, sit for a while and develop the bit.

A lot of your, uh, critics lately have accused you of not writing your bits. What’s your personal opinion on critics?
Honestly? I don’t think they’ve ever gotten me. It’s like they expect me dealing “your mom” jokes for half an hour to some big artsy, well-thought out autobiography, or whatever the f- - -. People just want to laugh at dumb s- - -, I don’t think anyone but the critics are really expecting high art.

You talk a lot about your girlfriend in this special. Care to share how you two met?
Oh. We met at…the doctor. Yeah, the doctor’s office.

Oh, is she a doctor?
Yeah. Listen, no offense, but can we move on? It’s - she’s just a little private, is all.

(Lin, Katie. “A Touch of Trash”, Entertainment Weekly, 13 Feb. 2011. Print.)

“Wait, it’s Throwback Thursday! Ugh, I just got that!”

“Yeah, as it’s Throwback Thursday, I ‘throw back’ my jacket.”

“Come on, Chad, it’s not that funny.”

“Eh, it’s kinda funny. Anyways, speaking of funny: last night, famous comedian Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier reportedly threw up on stage at very beginning of his show in L.A.

[loud exclamations of shock and amusement from Jake and Danielle]

His “Just Kidding (But Not Really)” tour has gone on a temporary hiatus, and both Tozier and his manager were unavailable for comment.”

“Now that’s something.”

“I never liked him.”

“What? Come on, you did.”

“No, I didn’t! His humor was always, a bit you know. Like, all he talks about is having sex.”

[exaggerated gasp from Jake]

“Danielle?! Are you saying sex isn’t funny?

“Hey, she never said that. Anyways, our thoughts and prayers go out to you and your career, Richie. Coming up next is “The Greatest” by everyone’s favorite Auzzie, Sia! In the mean time @ us on Twitter or FaceBook to get a box of a buncha goodies just for you…”

(Morning Mash-Up. Hits 1. Radio. )

TMZ ✔ @TMZ
Comedian Richie Tozier vomits on L.A. audience

Vox ✔ @voxdotcom
Richie Tozier reportedly “taking a break” from comedy after mental break down on stage

Zoe Davis @zoo
replying to @voxdotcom
LMAO

dwayne @ineedfood
retweeting @voxdotcom
Me, realizing I bought tickets for this tour months ago, and wondering if I’m going to have to call to get a refund: [thisisfine.jpg]

                                                                                                 Derry Police Department

                            Somerset County Medical Examiner                                                                                       Case Number: 13-01335

                            10 Forest Avenue                                                                                                                  Investigator: Ronan Fahey

                            Augusta, ME 04944                                                                                                               Date of Death: 08/16/2016

                            207-233-7409                                                                                                                     Date Today: 10/28/2016

Investigation Form

Decedent: Henry Robertson Bowers 13-01335


——————————————————————————————————————-

Synopsis

The decedent is a 43 year old male with a history of mental illness who was found deceased in the Derry Public Library by librarian Michael Hanlon.

Description of Incident 13-01335

On 08/17/16 at 0948 hours, the undersigned received a call from DPD District 3 Officer Whiteley. Officer Whiteley was calling to report the death of Henry R. Bowers, (DOB: 10/28/1973) at the Derry Public Library, 144 Barberry Street. Per Officer Whiteley, the Derry librarian Michael Hanlon (DOB: 07/3/1976) unlocked the library at 0915 hours on 08/17/2016 to discover the decedent. He was observed to be deceased due to a head injury. Officer Whiteley stated the decedent had a history of mental illness, and had only escaped from Juniper Hill Asylum the day previous. He could not confirm if there was evidence of suicide. The decedents next-of-kin and medical history was unknown at the time of the initial call. The undersigned informed Officer Whiteley that an investigator would be responding to the scene and the decedent would be transported to SCMEO for autopsy. (Ronan Fahey)

(Flomenbaum, Mark. “Autopsy 13-01335.” Official Derry Police Department Document. Print + Digital.)

-

Eddie >> Ayush aka Best Lawyer Ever

[28 Sept. 2016 @ 9:19 pm]

Eddie: Are you free tonight?

AyushakaBestLawyerEver: maybe, why

Eddie: Just wanted to talk.

AyushakaBestLawyerEver: about?

Eddie: Things.

Eddie: Would your firm have time for a divorce case at the moment?

Eddie: Asking for a friend.

CelebsNow ✔ @celebsnow
Comedian Richard Tozier spotted getting cosy with unknown man while Black Friday shopping
ift.tt/4C51Hh0

Consequence of Sound ✔ @consequence
Bill Denbrough announces next book, “IT” due out in September 2017


Heard on Fresh Air, 34 Minute Listen

After 14 years of doing standup comedy, comic Richie Tozier thought he had the art down.

“I was like that lobby boy from The Grand Budapest Hotel.” Tozier says of his tenure. “I was like, I know all the trade secrets of this joint, I know all the ins and outs, and I know who Ralph Fiennes is fucking on any given day.”

But, if you’re reading this you probably already know that Tozier didn’t seem to know anything about standup the day he bombed his L.A set at the beginning of his "Just Kidding" tour. And it’s only now that he chose to reveal why. The answer is…unsettling, to say the least.

“When I was a snot-nosed little middle schooler, me and my friends had a couple run-ins with…a serial killer. Yeah, I’m not kidding, my town was fucking wild. And right before I went on for that show, I got a call from one of my childhood friends, Mike, who said this guy had just escaped from prison, and was going after me. Well, all of us, but naturally that freaked me the fuck out.”

The town in which Tozier grew up in, Derry, Maine, does have a remarkable death rate for such an unknown place. The man himself says he spent the last few months “dealing with that shitshow. I talk about it more in depth in my next special.”

Which is the other big news: after a 7 month long hiatus, Tozier signed a deal with Netflix this month and has announced his return to comedy. “Even though, I’m still in the writing process I think it’s some of the best material I’ve had in years,” Tozier stated. “But, I don’t want to give too much away yet.”

(Macioce, Michael. “Richie Tozier on Return to Comedy, Writing Material for the First Time.” National Public Radio, 10 Mar. 2017. Washington, D.C. Web.)

Us Weekly ✔ @usweekly
Wealthy architect Ben Hanscom and Beverly Marsh of fashion line Fuoco Invernale announce engagement…show us a more dynamic duo 🙌

William Denbrough ✔ @BillDenbrough
I’d just like to deal out my congrats to the marvelous couple @beverlymarsh and @Hanscom

Richie Tozier ✔ @trashyy
retweeting @BillDenbrough
That’s rich coming from you Billiam, considering you STOLE Bevy’s first kiss. @Hanscom better watch out

William Denbrough ✔ @BillDenbrough
replying to @trashyy
…I’m married?

Ben Hanscom ✔ @Hanscom
replying to @BillDenbrough
I’m surprised you’re even replying to him at this point, Bill.

Elliot Burns @neongenesis
retweeting @trashyy@BillDenbrough@Hanscom
what the fuck is going on?

June 2017
Google
“richie tozier gay”
About 1,440,000 results (0.57 seconds) 
In the news:
Richie Tozier Comes Out Via Twitter
Variety- 20 minutes ago
Richie Tozier Comes Out as Gay…
E! News- 54 minutes ago
Controversial comic Richie Tozier reveals he identifies as gay
CNN- 1 hour ago
Richie Tozier “scared shitless but feeling super free right now” and asks fans to be kind
The Guardian- 1 hour ago

#when will bill’s endings get better

[3 Jun. 2017 @ 4:38 pm]

cherrybomb: !!!

cherrybomb: richie! why didn’t you tell us what you were planning you sneaky bastard

Eddieismyname: He wanted it to be a surprise

annoyingorangeincarnate: sorry??

Myke: Don’t apologize! we’re all really proud of you, rich.

annoyingorangeincarnate: awww thanks mikey you really know how to make a guy feel special <3 hmu if you have time

Eddieismyname: I’m RIGHT here. Also I’m fairly certain Mike is straight??

annoyingorangeincarnate: didn’t your mother ever teach you never to assume, Eds? she certainly taught me many things if you know what I mean ;)

Eddieismyname: I hope you get murdered in your sleep

ManieltheCockerStaniel: I second that.

ManieltheCockerStaniel: But in all honesty, I haven’t felt this impressed by you since you finally asked Eddie out, so good job.

annoyingorangeincarnate: screenshotted

annoyingorangeincarnate: anyhoo, what do you guys think I should get up to now that that the metaphorical closet door has been closed? pick up hot guys at bars? hit on the paparazzi? move in with a certain someone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Eddieismyname: What in the name of fuck is that face

everyone’smiddleschoolcrush: I leave my phone for 10 seconds

 

The New York Times Best Seller List
September 10, 2017
Fiction

 
This Week
       1. IT, by William Denbrough. (Viking, $5.95.) Seven adults return to their hometown to confront a nightmare they had first stumbled on as teenagers…an evil without a name.      

2.“Y” Is for Yesterday, by Sue Grafton. (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, $9.95.) Private investigator Kinsey Millhone confronts her darkest and most disturbing case.

 

 

overprepared-bear: 

richie tozier: *turns on light in car while driving at night because he dropped his phone*

his boyfriend: [kindafeellikei'mgonnadie.jpg]

perishplease: 

what timeline are we even in

#good timeline#richie tozier#trashmouth#Anal Intercourse Is for Assholes#followtheblogirebloggedthisfrom
507 notes

Eddie Kaspbrak @dr.k
vote:
zuko (correct answer) : 67%
toph (incorrect answer): 33%

Ben Hanscom ✔ @Hanscom
retweeted @dr.k
I’ll have to go with Zuko :)

Beverly Marsh-Hanscom ✔ @beverlymh
retweeted @dr.k@Hanscom
Is this even a question, Eddie? #zukoalltheway

Eddie Kaspbrak @dr.k
retweeted @beverlymh@Hanscom
It shouldn’t be, but ask @trashyy. God, I hate his @. Can’t you change it?

Richie Tozier ✔ @trashyy
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@Hanscom
a) my @ is more beautiful than the sun
b) i understand how eds prefers zuko because they’re both little balls of anger
c) but bev and ben.. how can you watch ATLA and fall for zuko instead of toph???

Beverly Marsh-Hanscom ✔ @beverlymh
retweeted @dr.k@Hanscom@trashyy
Uhh, because he has one of the most beautiful character arcs in history?

Mike Hanlon @m_hanlon
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@Hanscom@trashyy
As much as I hate to agree with Richie here, I watched ATLA recently and Toph is definitively better than Zuko in every way.

Eddie Kaspbrak @dr.k
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@trashyy@Hanscom@m_hanlon
MIKE HOW COULD YOU BETRAY ME NOW RICHIE’S SAYING WE HAVE TO WATCH THE BLIND BANDIT NEXT BECAUSE “HE WAS RIGHT”

Richie Tozier ✔ @trashyy
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@Hanscom@m_hanlon
WELL I AM

Stan Uris @stantheman
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@Hanscom@trashyy@m_hanlon
What’s ATLA?

William Denbrough ✔ @BillDenbrough
retweeted @dr.k@beverlymh@Hanscom@trashyy@m_hanlon@stantheman
Stan…

Sorry again for the delay, guys. My Shape of Water review should be up sometime this month, I pinky promise. But thanks as always to you readers for your support during my hiatus! And now I’m back, analyzing someone I thought I’d never cover again. That’s right folks: 2006 me has showed his ugly face to review Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier’s newest, original special.

“Anal Intercourse Is for Assholes” premiered on Netflix in December, a year and four months after his original hiatus following a bombed show. I’m ashamed to say that I am amongst those who laughed for too long after watching the infamous video of Trashmouth hurling his guts out onto the L.A audience. But it’s needless to say he’s come a long way since then.

I went into this special with what you could call a cautiously optimistic attitude. I had heard good reviews thus far, and had seen some of the interviews with Tozier leading up to it, where he talks about his different approach to the development of the routine. Needless to say I wasn’t disappointed. He approaches the material discussed with the usual levity and vulgar attitude, but also with a subtle softness I haven’t seen from him before.

Obviously the main theme of the special is Tozier’s sexuality and coming out. He talks about his assimilation into the LGBTQ+ community, stereotypes, and advocacy. Yet, it is still hilarious. Personally, I enjoyed the parts where Tozier talks about his recently reunited friend group, the “Losers Club” (which oddly includes award winning horror novelist William Debrough and my favorite nature photographer, Stanley Uris), especially his childhood best friend, and now boyfriend, who is now known to be named Eddie Kaspbrak. The bits where Tozier discusses Kaspbrak are some of the best of his career, and you get to see a side of the comic (lovesick idiot) that you’ve never seen before.

It’s overall a thought provoking and endearing piece of entertainment, and I wouldn’t be surprised to find myself watching it again soon. I think no matter who you are, you’ll get something good out of this newest special from Trashmouth; it’s fresh, it’s creative, and it’s funny as hell.
Rating: ⭑⭑⭑⭑⭑
P.S “Nice dawg. Nice dawg, I like your dawg, I like your style kid. NICE DAAAWG.”
That’s all.

(Peeler, Christopher. “A Triumphant, Profane, and Brilliant Return from Trashmouth Tozier,” The New Yorker, 2018. Web.)

“I tried being straight once. Needless to say it didn’t work out.”

(Laughter)

“Yeah, I got set up with this a girl in like 2005? And get this, guys: her name was Karen. Karen. That’s the name of a woman who yells at employees in the aisles of Sears. The name of a woman who shows up to the reunion of her family that’s otherwise fine, but then you have to explain to her that no one wants you here Karen, and why did you bring fucking sweet potatoe pie, Karen, no one wants to eat that shit.”

“We go to this Italian place, and it’s fine. The food, I mean. She was terrible. Literally, makes it into the top ten of the worst people I’ve ever met. And given that I grew up in the middle of Racism Township and Homophobiaville, that’s saying something. Like, I knew a kid from middle school who murdered his dad.

(Gasps)

Straight up, he was a psychopath! But I digress. Turns out my theory about yelling at employees was correct, because when asking the poor waiter for the check, she quite literally told him she was going to ‘talk to his manager.’ And I think that was when I passed on, from this life.”

(Laughter)

“And then apparently she said, ‘on our next date, we should watch that Notebook movie because I wanna see if Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling have had sex. In real life.' I wouldn’t know because I had already crawled in a hole and died by that point.’”

(mulaneeeeyy. “richie tozier, ‘karen’ bit from Comedy Central” Youtube. 7 July 2018. Web.)

1. Writers Block- In an interview with us, Tozier revealed how his new boyfriend supported and encouraged him to write his own material.

(Imbedded clip from “Richie Tozier Plays With Puppies While Answering Fan Questions.” Richie is cradling a jack russel puppy while others play around him; he is holding a slip of paper. “Because, you know my boyfriend has always been my harshest critic. He told me that he used to watch my shows and just know that what I was writing wasn’t genuine, it uh…wasn’t me. So whenever I hit a block, he’d help me through it, I’d bounce ideas off him, and when he actually straight up laughed, I knew I’d hit gold.)

2. Vacation in the Catskills- Last summer, Tozier and Kaspbrak went on a vacation with friends, including fellow “Losers Club” members William Denbrough, Ben Hanscom, and his wife Beverly Marsh-Hanscom, to a resort in the Catskills. Beverly posted a video of the couple to Instagram during August, and it’s both frustrating and adorable to see them argue over, of all things, who should row a canoe.

(An imbedded Instagram post from Beverly’s account, with the caption “These stubborn idiots had to have Mike come and pull them back into shore.” . A video filmed from a dock shows Richie and Eddie floating in a canoe, with Richie in the back and Eddie wearing a floppy hat and copious amounts of sunscreen. Bits of their conversation can be heard.

“Eds, you’re literally in the back, that’s whose supposed to-”

*unintelligible*

“Pick up that paddle!”

“-the one who wanted to go out here, I think it’s only fair for you to row.”

“-at a mexican stalemate.”

“Just a regular stalemate actually.” Eddie pulls out a book.

Richie’s eyes narrow “What-” *unintelligible*

“Bill's book, dumbass. It’s quite good, except for this annoying comic relief character.”)

3. “A Review of a Trashmouth Special,” by Edward Kaspbrak- Richie has always insisted that his boyfriend was his harshest critic, but that doesn’t mean any of us Trashmouth fans were prepared for this tweet from Eddie shortly after Richie’s Netflix special was released!

(An imbedded tweet from @dr.k, posted on December 22nd, 2017 at 5:57pm. It’s captioned, “‘A Review of a Trashmouth Special,’ by Edward Kaspbrak,” followed by two screenshots of the review written on the notes app:

So this motherfucker who calls himself a comedian somehow got a Netflix special, and it was released yesterday. I watched it so you don’t have to! Here’s a summary: I’m gay now, dick joke, blablabla, I also have a boyfriend who is so boring and cute, dick joke, malls are the worst, have I mentioned I’m gay? I’ve seen the things so many times now, so you little shits better be grateful for this.

Can I just say, why did Trashmouth have to be given a special? It’s bad enough that they have to go on tours that last for months and torture the people in the audience, one of the shows has to be recorded and put on the internet for the entire world to see? And anyone can just listen to a five minute long impression of a rant of the very serious, very real risks of alcohol poisoning?

My advice: just watch John Mulaney instead. He gushes less about his partner, and his impressions are so much better, in my opinion. Not to mention John Mulaney rarely insults his wife, never mind go on a rant about her color coordinated tea cabinet. And John Mulaney doesn’t look like a stick with hair that got hit by a bus and also wears Hawaiian shirts in his professional Netflix special.)

4. The SNL Cameo- In September, Richie returned to host SNL after briefly being a cast member from 2009-2011. His most popular role during his brief stint on the show was that of Stefon, a gay man who frequently appeared on Weekend Update (he’s since commented on the irony of a gay man pretending to be straight pretending to act like a gay man). During one of the last skits of the evening, Tozier returned to play the character once again. However, a third host of Weekend Update joined Colin Jost and Michael Je for the evening: none other than Eddie Kaspbrak. Tozier was reportedly informed of this right before he went on, and needless to say it shows throughout the skit.

(A link is posted to the skit, titled “Weekend Update: Stefon on Saint Patrick’s Day”)

5. *SCREAMS*- As we all know, Richie has always hinted about wanting to get married since dating Eddie. “I would really like to just call him my husband, ‘cause it just sounds better, you know?” Richie said once on Late Night with Seth Myers. And well…I’ll just let you read the post.

(An imbedded Instagram post from @eddiefuckingkaspbrak. A picture of the two on top of each other on a couch. Richie is curled against Eddie, looking up at him, while Eddie is grinning at the camera, holding up his left hand where a gold band is now on his ring finer. Caption: Richie, my love, light of my life: thank you. Thank you for being there for me on all my bad days, and good days. Thank you for showing me what love can, and should be, and thank you for loving me right. This is pretty out of character for me right now, just being really fucking sappy, but I’m so happy right now I don’t give a fuck. Thank you for having the courage to ask me to be your husband, even though I WAS LITERALLY PLANNING ON DOING THE SAME THING AND I HAD ALREADY MADE THE DINNER RESERVATIONS IF YOU HAD JUST WAITED.)

(Warren, Hailey. “On Behalf of the Gays, I’d Like to Present 5 “Reddie” Moments That Will Make You Smile.” Buzzfeed. New York, New York, 2018. Web.)