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I Will Google Pokemon Pick-Up Lines and That’s a Threat

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There are a lot of things that Stiles has learned since getting promoted from best friend of one werewolf to pseudo-parental figure of - quick count - five and a half werewolves, one hunter, and Lydia. If you outright ask him, Stiles is only pseudo-parental figure to five werewolves and a hunter, because A - Lydia's more often the rich, worldly aunt of their little found family, if he's going to be assigning roles, and B - Peter only counts for, like, half an adopted werewolf child because he's kind of like a feral cat, in that he can fend for himself but he's an invasive species that damages the local ecosystem, so you have to get him neutered and house-trained, and Stiles is usually against declawing but he thinks he might be swayed in this particular case.

That metaphor got away from him a little.

Anyway, back to the lessons that Stiles has learned while parenting a dysfunctional found werewolf family. The main one that Stiles has learned and started applying is one that he found on an Internet dive where he ended up in a parenting forum a few years ago: "Don't let them get bored."

"There's a Ditto somewhere around here," Scott says, looking around the park like it's going to jump out from the bushes or something.

Listen, Stiles has helped talk werewolves down from the tops of telephone poles, he's avoided getting banned from the local grocery store by the skin of his teeth, he's helped dye Erica's hair back to blonde from green twice now. He understands what happens when werewolves with a lot of excess energy get bored, probably better than anyone else. It's like they're also ADHD, but almost worse.

"What PokeStop?" Erica demands. "It's not coming up on my Tracker."

Which brings him to this - their forced dysfunctional found werewolf family outing two days before the full moon. Because bored werewolves equal trouble, and bored werewolves feeling the effects of the upcoming full moon equal worse trouble, like the kind of trouble you have to have bail money and/or a very quick-talking pseudo-parental figure who is familiar with the law and police procedure.

"I don't think they've fixed it," Allison says, lifting her phone much in the way that one does when they're hunting for service, like it's going to make a difference. "They keep saying they have, but I never have the rare Pokemon show up on my Tracker."

(Stiles and Derek haven't needed the bail fund yet, by some miracle, and they would like it to stay that way.)

"It's by the fountain," Scott says after a moment. "Who has a Lure?"

"I do." Isaac pokes at his screen. "Hold on, this Duskull keeps dodging."

They start ambling toward the fountain, Scott and Allison clustering around Isaac. Erica darts forward, jumping off into the long shadows of the park in the evening, and a moment later, Stiles hears a surprised shout that can only mean she's landed on someone. Probably Jackson - Boyd has magical Erica-senses and always knows when she's about to pounce, and Lydia's already sitting on the edge of the fountain. 

An arm comes around Stiles' waist, tugging him in, and Stiles grins as he shamelessly snuggles back against Derek. That's one thing he really likes about being nearly on top of the full moon - Derek's a little more touchy-feely in public, and Stiles is just naturally a tactile person. "You going after the Ditto?" Derek asks, hooking his chin over Stiles' shoulder to look down at his phone.

"You know what a Ditto is?" Stiles teases. "Video games are pretty newfangled for you, aren't they?"

"I had a Game Boy and Pokemon Yellow," Derek replies, and pokes at Stiles' phone to try and catch the Eevee that had just popped up. Stiles relinquishes it, pretends to be annoyed that Derek is playing on his phone while leaning over his shoulder. He can't even manage pretend annoyance, though.

"You should just download the game," Stiles says. "Then you can play all you want."

"If I want to hunt, I'll go catch a squirrel." 

He's pretty absent when he says it, though, and it's a stock response, so Stiles knows the truth - Derek won't download it because then he'll never get anything done. He's already sucked into Stiles' phone, just like he always is when they all get together to play Pokemon Go.

"How about you go catch my Ditto?" Stiles offers after a moment. "There's also a gym over by the statue. It's Team Instinct right now."

He turns, presses a kiss to the parts of Derek's face he can reach, and feels the smile that Derek gives against his neck. "Will you distract Scott long enough for Boyd and I to get it?"

"Sure," Stiles offers, and there goes his phone and his boyfriend, off to defend Team Valor honor. Derek doesn't quite bound over to the statue, but there's a definite spring to his step. When Stiles looks over, Lydia's watching Derek go, which really just means that she'll probably text Peter and Jackson, and they'll go try for the Gym as Team Mystic.

"Oh, hell no!" he hears Scott shout from the fountain, and then there's growling and he's pretty sure there will soon be blood.

Another lesson about parenting a dysfunctional found werewolf family: don't let them get bored, but also avoid letting them get competitive.