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seeing you again (makes my heart race)

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Yona is at work when she receives the invite on Facebook. She glances at the notification on her laptop’s screen, not bothering to check it. ‘It’s probably just Lily sending me a cat video again’ she thinks, deciding to check it later, so her boss won’t think she’s slacking. Besides this, it’s a regular Monday afternoon.

Yona groans as she stretches and her desk chair squeaks from the movement, looking at the clock on the wall again. Only five minutes have passed since then. She didn’t think that this was how adulthood would be like; she thought work would be fun, since she chose a career that she thought she would like. Turns out it’s just a lot of paperwork.

She wishes she could go back to high school again, where she at least had friends to look forward to meeting after a long boring day (like this one).

An hour later, she clocks out and rushes home, speed walking instead of taking the bus (since it would be late anyway due to rush hour). She walks so fast that she’s panting when she opens the door to her apartment complex. ‘I need to start working out’, she bemoans for the millionth time.

Later that evening Yona is pleasantly perplexed when she finally checks her notification that’s been sitting waiting on her Facebook page. A nervous yet excited feeling pools in her gut as she clicks the accept button.  


Yona spends over three hours getting ready. She tells herself that it’s normal to take this long getting ready (it’s not, not for her at least). Besides, she wants to look her best. Who doesn’t want to look their best when they’ll meet people that they haven’t met in roughly a decade? She keeps her makeup light, basic foundation and mascara, not daring to do her eyeliner in fear of messing it up and having to start all over again.

She doesn’t feel like doing anything special with her hair, not wanting to touch it so her curls stay intact and avoiding frizz. Anyway, it’s too short to do anything with besides some basic hair clips. She changes her mind though when she spots her favorite barrette, so she uses it to clip back some of her curls that want to keep falling into her eyes.

Looking into the mirror, she thinks that her makeup and hair look decent enough (not perfect, but it never is), so she has to take the bull by its horns and finally tackle what she has been procrastinating all day: deciding what to wear. Her closet is filled from top to bottom with clothes varying in colors, materials and brands. Shopping is like a coping mechanism for her, distracting her from her anxiety and loneliness. That being said, she has way too many clothes – and that just makes it even worse.

A large pile of discarded clothes later, she finally settles on a light pink blouse with embroidered detailing around the neckline, paired with a beige pleated shirt and some tights. Her earrings are (as always) her late mom’s tassel earrings, even if they don’t match her outfit. She grabs a pair of chunky, tan high heels that will hopefully make someone believe that she’s grown taller over the years, but that’s clearly not the case. Since the year is coming to an end, warm outerwear is a necessity. Her go-to coat is a form fitted, khaki coat with a waist belt so she won’t ‘lose her waist’. For extra warmth, she tops it all off with a cream colored fluffy scarf. Then she heads out into the cold weather, already longing for the warmth again.


The venue is larger than she expected. Yona feels her anxiety start clawing at her throat and wonders if ‘maybe this was a bad idea after all’. She feels a hand on her shoulder and her anxiety loosens its grip on her (just a little), as Lily asks her if she’s alright. She feels herself nod and follows Lily to hang off their coats.

Yona scans the crowd to see if she recognizes anyone, but gets interrupted by Lily grabbing her hand and dragging her off somewhere. “Lily, wait. Where are we going?” she tries to shout over the noise of the crowd, meanwhile trying to keep up and balance on her high heels. ‘Maybe heels was the wrong choice’.

After weaving through the crowd (for what seemed like forever, but in actuality was like, 30 seconds), they making it to a clearing where the crowd gets thinner and the noise lessens. Yona breathes out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

“You alright, Princess?” he whispers in her ear, leaning in from behind her. She jumps in surprise, turning to face him while exclaiming his name, “Hak!”

Hak chuckles as Yona’s face starts flushing red. ‘Oh, fuck. He’s hot.’ Yona’s traitorous brain thinks while she gapes like a fish, trying to think of what to say. He’s standing so close she thinks she can smell his aftershave – a musky scent that sends shivers down her spine. He’s wearing a dress shirt with the top couple of buttons left undone and the sleeves rolled up, exposing his forearms. ‘He looks so different now, but somehow he still looks the same’, she reflects, her brain supplying her with old memories of Hak in his spiked leather jacket and combat boots. He seems even more angular and sharp now; his cheekbones even more prominent and his nose appears taller. His hair is the same though: thick, black and shiny – with bangs cascading just below his eyes on the left side of his face. Yona just wants to run her fingers through it, feeling how soft it must be.

“I–I’m fine”, she stutters, while avoiding eye contact. She forgot just how sharp his eye are, how they could read her like an open book. When he doesn’t reply, she glances up at him (oh wow, he’s even taller now) to find him looking down at her, but he looks away just when they make eye contact.

“mm, if you say so, Princess” he mumbles, looking back at her. Yona feels trapped under his gaze and blurts, “you look really different now”. She slaps a hand over her mouth and squeaks out an apology as Hak chuckles, “you do too, Princess”.

 “It’s so short”, he murmurs. Yona blinks up at him as he touches the ends her hair. She cut it short after she and Soo-Won broke up, almost nine years ago. She’s never regretted it; she thinks it suits her and it’s easier to care for.

“Do you not like it?” she asks him. He pulls back and clears his throat, rubbing his neck, “Yeah, no I–I mean… it suits you”.

Yona is about to say something when Lily interrupts her, “hey, I found us a booth, let’s go sit down”. Yona nods an okay and turns back to face Hak.

“You want to come too?” she asks him, her heart beating a mile a minute. Her anxiety gets the best of her and words just start tumbling out of her mouth, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, I–I don’t mean to force you or anything, i-it’s just that we haven’t really had any time to catch up so–“

“Sure, I’ll come”, he interjects with a small smile on his (‘handsome’) face and consequently cuts off her rambling. Yona smiles back with a quiet “oh okay, that’s good”, hoping he can’t see the relief on her face. She can’t let him go now, not when she just met him again. The three of them walk over to a large booth with several familiar faces.

“Yona-chan”, Kija exclaims and pats the empty spot next to him, “come sit here!”

Yona giggles and is about to accept Kija’s invitation when Jae-Ha shout-whispers, “no Kija, she’ll want to sit next to Hak”. Yona doesn’t know if her face could be any redder than it already is; she wishes the ground could just swallow her up. No, she’s going to faint.

“–Princess? Hello, earth to Princess? Anyone home?” Hak teases. She freezes up even more as he gently touches her shoulder to lightly shake her. She feels like she’s under water, struggling to breathe. All she can sense is Hak’s proximity – his touch and scent and– it’s all overwhelming her.

“–uh, I think you broke her”, she hears someone deadpan (probably Yoon).

“Yona.exe stopped working”, she hears someone else giggle.

“–leave her to me”, she hears a feminine voice say, as she feels Hak move away.

“Hey, Yona”, Lily tries. “Look at me. Deep breaths.” Yona blinks several times as she takes several deep breaths. ‘Well, this is mortifying’, she begrudgingly thinks, as Lily guides her to the outermost spot, promptly covering her face with her hands and collapses with a groan on the table in front of her.

Hak mimics her position on the table, resting his head on his folded arms, turning his head to look at her.

“–’m not gonna ask you if you’re alright, ‘cause that would be mean”, Hak mutters, failing to hide his smirk behind his arm. Yona glares at him and huffs loudly, before hiding her face behind her arms again. ‘Ugh, he’s definitely still a bully’. She hears a loud thwack followed by an, “ouch!” causing her to look up again.

“Be nice, Thunder beast.” Yoon scolds Hak. “Yona isn’t feeling well, so now isn’t the time to bully her”.

“I wasn’t bullying her, just teasing” Hak huffs defensively. Yoon doesn’t look pleased. Yona can’t help but giggle at their antics, which evolves into uncontrollable laughter.

“What” Hak states (not questions), “what’s so funny”, which causes Yona to laugh even more. She laughs so hard her sides hurt and her eyes water, trying not to start sobbing as she’s already made a fool of herself.

“I-it’s like, we–we’re back in hi-high school”, she manages to get out, struggling to articulate herself, stifling her laughter and blinking back her tears. They don’t need to know how badly she misses them, nor how desperately she wishes she could go back. They would just think she’s even more pathetic than they already do. 

“Oh”, is all Hak says and everyone else goes quiet. ‘Shit, did they figure it out?’ She can feel the tears pricking at her eyes and the squeezing in her chest intensifying. She hears herself mutter an excuse, as she rushes to the restroom weaving back through the crowd.

“Fuck,” she whispers under her breath, trudging in her chunky heels, failing to keep her tears at bay before she reaches the restroom. When she finally reaches the restrooms, she finds that there are no vacant ones, causing more tears to fall, shorter breaths and–


“–that you? Yona?”

‘Fuck.’

She hesitantly looks up at Hak from her position on the floor (in a dark corner of an empty hallway – huh, when did she end up there?) and immediately looks away, franticly wiping her face.

“Shit, I–I’m– fuck”, Hak stutters, cautiously treading closer to her. He calls her name again, crouching in front of her, rubbing his hand in his face and through his hair before breathing out and trying again.

“Shit, Yona. I–… I–I’m really sorry. I–I wasn’t thinking straight, I never meant to hurt you.” when Yona doesn’t reply he whispers to himself, “Ah, fuck. What do I do?”

Yona sniffles, looking up at Hak, flabbergasted by the genuine look of distress on his face. “Oh, um, Hak– it’s not your fault”, she croaks, feeling guilty.

“Really?”

“um, yeah”

“mm, if you say so”, Hak replies hesitantly, moving to sit down next to her, bumping his shoulder with hers. They sit in silence for a moment (or two) before Hak asks, “is there anything I can do?”

“um–…” she starts, huffing when she doesn’t come up with anything, “… I don’t know”, she finishes meekly, shrugging her shoulders. Hak hums before opening his mouth again, “do you want a hug?” Yona feels her heart race again, but she can’t bring herself to verbally answer him, so she nods instead (avoiding eye contact as usual), hoping he’ll see it even though it’s dark.

Hak shifts, angling himself toward her; he gently tugs her shoulders toward his chest. Yona stiffens, but quickly melts into the embrace, resting her hands on his back then gently clutching his dress shirt and placing her face in the crook of his neck. He’s warm and his muscles are softer than she expected. She takes a deep breath and feels the anxiety start to dissipate (and it gets replaced with something else she can’t quite place), as she breathes in the scent of him. She feels one of his hands caressing her hair, gently rubbing the back of her head and neck – while she feels his other hand rubbing soothing circles on her lower back. Hak’s face is so close to hers, she can feel his breath ghosting over her ear, just like earlier this evening.

Fuck’ she thinks, for the millionth time this evening ‘I don’t want this moment to end’. Yona clutches harder, clinging to him as if he’s her only chance of survival, tugging herself as close as possible and dragging herself into his lap. Hak doesn’t say anything, but his grip on her tightens (just a smidge). Yona feels tears pricking in her eyes again and wonders if it’s possible to feel even more miserably inadequate than she already does.

“Hey now, Princess… shit” Hak says softly, struggling to figure out what to say, “–uh, Yona? Please talk to me… I–I can’t help you if I don’t know what’s wrong…” Yona sniffles, shaking her head and tries to stifle her sobs threatening to escape her throat.

“Please Yona, I–I won’t laugh or–or judge you or anything–“, he begs (again) softly. “Please just let me help you…” Hak whispers so gently it would make her cry if she wasn’t already doing just that.

“I–…” Yona tries, but she doesn’t know what to say, so she sobs instead. Should she tell Hak the truth? She can’t do that, that would be embarrassing… but then again she’s bawling in his lap… ‘What have I got to lose…? That’s right, I could lose him again’

Yona looks up at him to find him looking back at her, with those sharp, dark blue eyes that somehow look so tender and so warm. He moves his hand from her neck to her cheek, wiping at the tears that have streaked down her face.

“H–Hak…” Yona murmurs, scared that the moment would end– scared that he’ll leave her. She calls his name again, her voice hoarse from her tears. This time he hums, letting her know he heard her.

“I–… I don’t– um…” she swallows, feeling her face getting warmer and warmer, breaking eye contact. ‘This would be so much easier if he wasn’t so handsome…’

“You don’t what, Yona?” Hak whispers back, stroking her cheek with his thumb. ‘He can definitely feel how warm my face is… there’s no going back now, huh.’ she ponders, trying to gather all the courage she can muster. Yona lets go of where she’s clutching his back, hesitantly moving his bangs away from his face with her fingers, before timidly touching his cheek and cupping his face. She mimics the motion he made on her face, stroking his cheek with her thumb. The sensation of his stubble on the pad of her thumb makes the fuzzy feeling in her gut grow. She smiles softly at him, looking back into his eyes. He looks surprised, but not in a bad way.

“…Yona?” he says so quietly, she would’ve missed it– if it weren’t for the warmth of his breath hitting her face. She slides her hand from his jaw to the side of his neck, where she reaches her fingers to the back of his neck and tangles them in his hair. She can feel his pulse thumping rapidly under her thumb and palm, which gives her a smidge of hope that: ‘he could feel the same’. Yona looks at his lips and wonders how it would feel to have them on hers, absentmindedly catching her lower lip between her teeth.

“…Hak”, she whispers, lifting herself up (with her non-occupied arm) from where she was leaning on him – on his shoulder, bumping her nose with his while looking back and forth between his eyes and lips, hoping he would get the message.

Hak copies her, looking at her lips and then her eyes. He moves her hair away from her face, tucking it behind her ear before cupping the back of her head. He bumps his nose with hers, looking into her eyes one last time before closing the distance between them. Yona can’t help but sigh when her lips meet his. She presses closer, gently pulling on his hair not wanting it to end. All too soon, Hak pulls back, breaking the kiss, but he stays close, bumping his nose with hers again. He strokes the junction of where her neck meets her jaw with his thumb, looking into Yona’s eyes.

Yona tugs his face closer so she can press her lips to his again; chasing that rush – that high, she feels every time they touch. This time, Yona doesn’t hold back. She catches his lower lip with her mouth, sucking lightly on it, rewarding her with a lovely gasp from Hak. He tightens his grip on her waist, holding her close – as if she’d ever want to be anywhere else. She moves her arm from his shoulder to his chest, caressing him with her oh-so-soft touch.

Every little touch and sound from Hak, makes her crave him even more. She moves her hand to his jaw, so she can press her thumb right below his cheekbone – causing him to open his mouth. Yona wastes no time, licking into his mouth, reveling in the feeling when their tongues meet. She can’t help the moans she makes, as their kisses get more and more frantic. She can feel his chest heaving (just like hers) under the palm of her hand.

“…Yona– wait…” Hak pants, breaking the spell – pulling away from her, just so she can’t reach his face with hers. She can’t help but feel disappointed; maybe this was a mistake, maybe he doesn’t feel the same. Maybe he even has a partner –shit, she forgot to ask.

“Sorry”, Yona whispers, not daring to look Hak in the eyes.

“Huh? What for?” Hak replies, sounding caught off guard– as if that wasn’t what he was expecting her to say.

“Oh, um–“, Yona begins, not knowing what to say. Hak cuts her off by tipping her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eyes. She loses all train of thought when she looks into those deep blue eyes.

“Yona?” he prompts again. She pulls away, looking away from him. She mumbles something along the lines of, “I–I don’t know” and curls in on herself. She would get up and leave if she weren’t trapped in a corner, both literally and figuratively. Her heartbeat picks up speed again, this time due to anxiety coming flooding back.

“Hey, hey wait Yona… I didn’t mean it like that…” he tries, reaching out to touch her arm. ‘Then what do you mean?’, she thinks looking at him again to find the lightest bit of pink dusting his cheeks and nose, or so she thinks, she can’t really see that well in the dark. When he doesn’t say anything, Yona calls his name, “Hak?”

“–uh, yeah um... Sorry, um– I just thought that… –maybe we should get off the floor?”

“Oh, okay” Yona replies meekly.

Hak stands up and reaches a hand out to her. She grabs his hand and he hoists her up, but she loses her balance (jelly legs plus heels are not a good combo) and stumbles – destined to fall flat on her face on the floor. Despite her destiny, Hak easily catches her and holds her against his chest. Yona stutters out an apology, which he in turn just chuckles at. ‘Meanie’.

“Do you want to go back to the others?” he asks her as she finds her footing.

“Um, would it be mean of me to say no? I don’t really want to have to share you…” the last part comes out more of as a whisper then the rest; she didn’t mean to say that aloud, but it’s not like she can take it back. Hak makes some choking sound, causing her to look up and see his flustered expression. ‘Oh’ is all she can think.

“’m sorry, I’m a mess” she tries to laugh, but it comes out stiff. “Let’s go back, yeah?” She tries to pretend like she didn’t just say that and that he didn’t hear it (which he clearly did).

“Uh, I’m gonna go see if there are any restrooms empty now, you can head back before me. I’ll be right there”, her façade of confidence crumbling by the seconds that go by. She doesn’t wait for a response from Hak– before she’s walking away, trying to find the restrooms and make sense of ‘what just happened?’

Fortunately, there is a vacant restroom, which she quickly enters and locks the door behind her. She sits down on the toilet seat, resting her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees, taking deep breaths.

‘Why are there only singular restrooms at a large venue like this?’ she irritably thinks, ‘everything could’ve been avoided if I just had been able to escape into the lady’s room or something’. Her traitorous brain helpfully supplies her with recent memories of his lips on hers. She squeezes her eyes shut, but that only makes it worse. She gets up from her position on the toilet seat to stand in front of the sink, looking into the mirror at herself.

‘Wow, I really look like shit’, her eyes are red and puffy– and so are her lips. ‘Well, they’re more bruised and kiss bitten than red and puffy’, her thoughts betraying her. She washes off the mascara that has run down her face, ‘‘cause it ain’t a pretty look’.

“Ugh, he definitely wouldn’t have kissed me if it weren’t so dark” she mutters to herself. She realizes that she must’ve left her purse at the booth, with her makeup in it so she decides to just take it all off. It’s not as if they don’t know she’s been crying, and the leftover makeup was making it even more obvious; her tears streaked lines on her concealer and foundation and the clumpy mascara was just too clumpy with all the tears. Her lipstick has been all smudged and– shit.

Oh, fuck. Yona hopes he noticed before he went back to the booth, Lily would most certainly recognize Yona’s favorite lipstick. She splashes some cold water on her face to try to reduce the puffiness of her eyes and to clear her head a bit. She smooths her hair with a bit of water, trying to make it look less like she just made-out-with-her-childhood-best-friend or something. She readjusts her barrette, before clearing her throat, determined not to make a fool out of herself (‘again’) as she exits the restroom.

Part of her was expecting Hak to be waiting right outside for her, but of course, he wasn’t. She told him to go back before her, and he actually listened (‘for once’). She weaves through the crowd for the third time this evening, trying to strut with confidence back to the booth.

“Oh, you’re back Yona. Did you happen to see Hak?” Lily inquires when Yona approaches the table. Shaking her head as a reply, she sits down at the booth wondering where Hak took off.


She mingles with her friends for a while before she gets too antsy and decides to go looking for Hak.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Shin-Ah asks gently, when she declares her mission. Shin-Ah’s always being so kind and helpful, but this time she wants to go alone.

“No, it’s okay. Thank you anyway, Shin-Ah” she smiles at him. He nods understandingly and Yona leaves the booth before anyone else can jump to help her. She tries to think of where he could’ve gone, she doesn’t think he would just leave without saying anything. She weaves through the crowd, not knowing where she’s going (since she’s too short to see anything). She ends up by a bar where she spots Hak. He’s talking to someone, but she can’t see whom.

Yona tries to get a closer look, when someone stumbles into her, someone she doesn’t know. The guy mumbles an apology, but when he looks at her, he asks her to by her a drink, to make up for it. She tries to let him down gently, but the guy keeps insisting. ‘He’s probably had one too many…’ she thinks as she tries to distance herself. She backs away and bumps into someone else.

‘Oh god, I feel like this is going to be a long night’, she grumbles as she turns around to apologize to the next person, but the words die in her throat when she sees whom it is.

“–Yona?”

‘Oh, fuck. Of course, he’s here,’ she grumbles in her head yet again. He doesn’t look like he has aged a day since they broke up.

“–uh, yeah. Hi Soo-won” she says, trying to sound happy to see him, but really she isn’t. Well, at least he’s her ticket away from this drunk guy.

“Yeah, I thought it was you” he says way too cheerfully and genuinely for an ex-boyfriend. ‘ugh, I am too sober to deal with this. I need a drink’. Soo-won leans in to whisper, “do you know this guy? Is he bothering you?”

“I don’t know him and yes he’s bothering me,” Yona whispers back. Soo-won is undeniably too kind to be one of her exes. The drunk guy doesn’t seem too happy about Yona talking to another guy, but one of Soo-won’s charming smiles is all it takes for him to back off. Once she knows he’s out of earshot, she turns to Soo-won to thank him for helping her – that’s the least she could do.

“It’s no problem, really Yona”, he kindly waves off her apology with another of those annoying charming smiles, that don’t work on her anymore. Not since they broke up.

“I need a drink”, Yona sighs as she flags the bartender, sitting down by the bar. They might’ve ended on good terms, with Soo-won admitting that he’s aromantic and asexual, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t sting. Well to be frank, he broke her heart.

When her drink arrives, she remembers what she was doing in the first place. Soo-won is still standing next to her, confusion painted on his face as he watches her wiggle on the barstool as she tries to spot Hak again. He’s not where he was before, and she sighs defeated.

“You looking for someone?” Soo-won asks her, as she sips her drink.

“–um, yeah… Hak, have you seen him?” Yona feels bad using her ex to find her crush, but hey, she’s desperate. Soo-won doesn’t seem to mind and he probably hasn’t picked up on that Yona has a big fat crush on Hak. Which is good, but then again it’s not like he would tease her about it anyway; Soo-won’s not like that.

“Oh! Yeah, I was just talking to him before I spotted you”.

“Oh, yeah?” Yona murmurs, turning to face him as she continues to sips her drink.

“Yeah– yeah, he looks really different now, not so punk-y and more cleaned up. He also seems to be even more fit now than back in high school” Soo-won chuckles, “I didn’t even know it was possible, and it’s not as if he’s a professional athlete or anything–” Soo-won has that look on his face again, where he’s so intrigued by other people, as if they’re animals at a zoo. It kind of creeps her out.

“–I guess he just really must love martial arts, huh” he continues to muse. Yona chugs the rest of her drink, wanting to get away from Soo-won – away from that heartbreak. Even if she now doesn’t know what she ever saw in him, it still hurts. She mutters out an excuse and scans the crowd for Hak before getting off the barstool.

He’s rather easy to spot, when she actually can see above the crowd, since he’s so tall. He’s still near the bar, but in one of the booths. Yona walks toward Hak’s booth, but walking with those heels is difficult, especially with the crowded area and alcohol running through her veins. When she gets a little closer, she notices he’s not alone. There’s a woman practically draped on top of him, just where Yona had been a while ago. Yona feels frozen on the spot, as if thorns had grown through the floorboards, wrapping around her ankles and legs.

Hak notices her and gently pushes the woman off him, getting up and away from the booth, jogging towards Yona. Yona wishes she could move– but she can’t.

“Hey…” Hak starts, but trails off. He puts his hand on her shoulder startling her, like trying to break a curse that’s been put on her. He pulls back, as if he’s been burned and utters an apology.

“Shit– sorry, are you okay?” she doesn’t know what to reply, so she just shrugs her shoulders.

“Uh, okay. Right, um– you should probably sit down. Do you want me to get you some water?” he babbles, raking his hand through his hair in a nervous gesture. He guides her to sit down at an empty booth, while he waits for her answer. Yona shakes her head; she doesn’t want him going anywhere. She just found him again and doesn’t want to risk losing him again in the crowd, not when her heart is in such turmoil. Hak kneels in front of her where she’s looking down, holding her hands in his.

“Yona? What happened? Talk to me”, ‘he knows what just happened, I saw him with another woman,’ she doesn’t like the sneer that’s forming in her head, so she doesn’t say anything. Hak isn’t her boyfriend, so it’s not like she can tell him what he can and cannot do.

“I–I know its cliché and all, but it really wasn’t what it looked like. Please, let–let me explain”, he sounds genuine enough and one look at his face tells her the same, so she nods. He looks relieved, but he stands up looking over his shoulder.

Looking back at her, “Come with me, someplace quieter so we can talk”, he says gently as he reaches out his hand to her to help her off her seat. This time she doesn’t stumble, but he doesn’t let go of her hand– in fact, he places his other hand on her lower back as he guides her further inside the venue, where there are less people.

“Sorry, that was just an excuse” Yona looks up at him, speechless. “Well, I did want to go somewhere quieter so we could talk, but that’s not the entire truth”

“–yeah? Then, what is it?” Yona feels her traitorous heart pick up pace again. ‘Not now’, she thinks ‘he still has some explaining to do’

“Uh, that um– girl was coming our way”

“Oh.”

“Yeah…” an awkward pause passes before Hak speaks again. “She– um, I–I mean, ugh. I don’t know her and she had probably had too many drinks, ‘cause people don’t normally climb into strangers laps”.

Yona can’t help but giggle at that and Hak looks mortified.

“–’m sorry, I guess we’ve both had our share of drunks, huh”

“…yeah, I guess so. Wait, what happened to you?” He steps close, holding her shoulders. She can smell the faint smell of alcohol on his breath, but she doesn’t mind.

“It wasn’t a big deal, just some drunk guy insisting on buying me a drink, that’s all. Besides, I literally bumped into Soo-won who helped me”, she looks up to find a pensive look on his face. “He told me that you guys talked before I bumped into him, so I take it he told you? About, you know…” she trails off, not wanting to say the word breakup aloud.

“Uh, yeah. I’m sorry about that; I know you really liked him”, he says sounding genuinely sorry for her. ‘Stupid Hak’

“Yeah, but it’s almost a decade ago now anyway, so I’m long over him”, she says looking up into his eyes, batting her lashes at him.

“Oh, alright. So, you fancy anyone now?” the small smirk on his face tells her that he already knows the answer to that question. Fine, two can play this game, she decides with a smirk of her own.

“Yeah actually, I do”

“Yeah? Anyone I might know?”

“mm, I went to high school with him, he was really badass or – he thought he was”

“yeah? What’s he like now?” Hak’s smirk grows, and he pulls her closer.

“Now? Well, he’s still really handsome, but he’s kind of a dick” Yona giggles when Hak mocks offense. She wraps her arms around his neck and whispers, “sorry, I meant he’s a really good kisser”, bumping her nose with his before pressing her lips to his. Hak cups her face as he kisses her back, moaning lightly as she rakes her fingers through his hair. His hand on the small of her back grounds her, for without it she would lose herself in him.

Yona doesn’t hesitate this time. He gently bumps her into the wall behind her, placing both of his arms on either side of her, caging her in. His stubble scratches lightly on her face, as their lips meet. Yona struggles to reach him, so she kicks of her heels and hikes one of her legs on his hip, signaling to him to help her up. Hak doesn’t waste any time and slides his hand under her thigh, while she jumps up with her other leg for him to catch. He lifts her, as if she’s light as a feather, to place her on his hips and oh–.

“Um, excuse me”, someone blurts, interrupting their makeout sesh, both of them fluster for being caught, like two teenagers. Yona tucks her face into the crook of Hak’s neck, thankful that Hak didn’t drop her. Yona tunes out the conversation between and this mystery interrupter and Hak, feeling too embarrassed to look up.

When she feels Hak turn his face into the crook of her neck in return, she takes it as a sign as the other person is gone. She pulls back, looking into his eyes, seeing nothing but affection and warmth– how did she fail to see it before? It’s always been there when he looks at her. Now, she can’t see anything but.

“We should probably head back to the others, they were wondering where you went” she breathes out just loud enough so he could hear her. He nods, but doesn’t move to set her down.

“Hak?”

“Just a moment longer, please”, he laments, placing his head in the crook of her neck again. Yona smiles, hugging his head close, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

 

When they return to the booth hand in hand, Jae-Ha smirks knowingly at them.


Later that evening, when they’re getting ready to say goodbye, Yona doesn’t want to part ways with Hak, and she gets the feeling he doesn’t either. Once they’re the only ones left, Yona gathers her courage.

“Hak?” she tests.

“mm?”

“I don’t want to go home,” she admits, grabbing his hand.

“Yeah?” he looks down at her, his brows knit with contemplation. She nods in confirmation, looking into his eyes.

“Let me come with you?” she whispers, fearing that he might say no. However, unbeknownst to her, Hak could never say no to her, not when she’s looking at him like that, with her big violet eyes. 

“Okay”, he whispers back, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her lips. The smile he receives in return has his knees buckling. Hak flags a cab for the two of them, and in no time, they’re in front of his apartment complex. Yona slips her hand into his, lacing her fingers with his. They stumble into the elevator, standing in silence until they arrive at Hak’s apartment floor. Yona follows Hak and stands behind him as he unlocks the door.

“Please excuse the mess, I wasn’t exactly expecting any company”, he explains, turning around to face her, lowering his voice, “not that I’m complaining”. Her face feels warm as he looks at her with such… such fondness. Yona watches as he pushes open the front door and flicks on the lights, illuminating the hallway. She steps over the threshold, quietly closing the door behind her.

Hak toes off his shoes and takes off his coat, placing them in their designated spots. Yona just stands there, feeling unable to do anything but observe him, as if she’s afraid he’ll vanish right before her eyes. He seems to notice, though he doesn’t verbally say anything, conveying his communication with his body– by reaching out his arm and looking her in her eyes– to ask her for her coat. Yona’s brain is running on significantly less brain cells since its late and she’s had a bit to drink (never mind the fact that Hak makes her so flustered), so it takes her longer (than she’s willing to admit) to decode what Hak was putting forth. She peels off her coat, handing it to him not daring to look him in the eyes since it would only deepen her blush. She steps out of her heels, putting them neatly next to Hak’s loafers.

“Would you like something to drink?” he asks, walking down the hallway disappearing through a doorway. “–Oh, do you still like tea?” he calls to her from what she presumes is his kitchen. “I think I have some… lying around here, somewhere…”

Yona timidly follows the path he took running off to, finding him rummaging through the cabinets in his quaint kitchen. She peers in through the doorway, not quite daring to enter. Rubbing her arm, she leans against the doorframe.

“Um– sure, that would be nice”, Hak grabs two cups off the self and the esteemed tea, placing them on the counter.

“Great, please make yourself at home”, he replies, turning slightly to look at her before returning to making the tea. Yona carefully treads into the kitchen, still not quite sure what to do with herself as she waits for Hak.

She ends up looking around the kitchen, spotting pictures on his fridge. First picture she notices is one of Hak with his adoptive relatives, grandfather Mundok and little brother Tae-Yeon. She barely recognizes little Tae-Yeon, as he isn’t so little anymore, though he still has that endearing smile. Another picture grabs her attention; it’s an old picture of the trio, Soo-Won, Hak and her, from back in high school. Back when they were happy and living in the moment. Now… well, she doesn’t want to dwell on it. Yona is in the middle, leaning on Soo-won to get away from Hak, who was leaning heavily on her. She remembers the day they took that photo, it was the last week before graduation day– actually, it was from senior skip day. They had gone for ice cream at their favorite local ice cream parlor. Yona vividly remembers the feeling of pure bliss, hanging out with her two besties, without a care in the world.

“Ah, I see you found my collection”, Yona blinks up at him, feeling sheepish as if she had been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. She nods, dreading what might come out of her mouth, as she’d struggle to articulate herself. Hak hands her a steaming cup of tea (warning her that it’s hot) and walks over to the living room to sit down on the couch. Yona (yet again) follows him quietly, planting herself next to him on the couch, cautiously sipping her tea, trying not to scald herself.

They sit in quietude, sipping their tea, until Hak breaks the silence, “do you want to watch something?”

“Sure”, she replies, her answers stilted. They pick an old movie; one that they used to watch when they were younger. Yona finishes her tea, placing the cup on the coffee table. She looks at Hak, before leaning on his arm, placing her hand on his thigh. Hak moves his arm, placing it around her, pulling her closer by her waist. Yona feels warm and comfy, her eyelids getting heavier by the second. She feels him press a light kiss atop her head before drifting off to sleep.


She awakens not long after she fell asleep, seeing the credits roll on the screen. Hak turns it off, quietly mumbling, “maybe it’s time for the Princess to head to bed”. Yona whines in response, snuggling closer to Hak, earning a chuckle from him. Hak continues to try to wake Yona up, but to no avail. He sighs, muttering under his breath “you stubborn little Princess. I guess you leave me no choice then”, before lifting Yona up, her legs under one arm and her torso under the other. She squeaks, clutching on to Hak tightly.

“I told you, it’s your own fault”, glee leaking into his voice. He carries her into his bedroom, setting her down on the bed. Yona feels a lot more awake now, realizing that she can’t sleep in her fancy skirt and blouse.

“–Um, Hak? Can I borrow something to sleep in? I don’t want to ruin my blouse”, she blurts, feeling her face turn scarlet.

“Sure, will a t-shirt do?” Hak replies, way too casually, as he rummages through a drawer. Maybe this is normal for Hak though, maybe he has hookups all the time– not that this is a hookup. That would actually require something more than just some making out. Besides, he hasn’t even kissed her since they left the reunion. So, this is definitely not a hookup– well not yet, at least.

“yeah, thanks”. Hak throws a t-shirt at her, “bathroom’s down the hall”. Yeah, okay, definitely not a hookup. What guy would waste any chance of seeing a girl change her clothes? Well, certainly not a guy wanting to hookup.

Yona slips off the bed, scurrying her way to the bathroom. She looks in the mirror at herself and sees the large crimson blotches staining her cheeks. ‘Why does he have such an effect on me’ she wonders. She starts by peeling off her tights, carefully so she won’t snag them, ‘cause ladders ain’t cute and Yona can’t be bothered to buy yet another pair of tights. Then she unbuttons the top couple of buttons on her blouse so she can slip it over her shoulders. Standing there in the bathroom with nothing covering her chest besides her bra, she slips on the t-shirt to avoid the cold.

The t-shirt, that is more of a dress on her, hits her right in the middle of her thighs, precariously close to not covering her butt. She undoes the zip to her skirt and slips it off as well. She was planning on just keeping her bra on under the t-shirt, but she happens to be wearing that-one-bra-that-just-loves-to-stab-her-with-the-underwire, so she removes it as well. She removes her barrette, clipping it to her skirt so she won’t lose it. She tugs a little on the shirt, trying to make it just a tad longer to save her the embarrassment of flashing Hak– but her efforts are futile. She looks at herself in the mirror again, feeling a twinge in her chest from the intimacy of wearing Hak’s clothes. She guesses the shirt is an older (but well-loved) article of Hak’s wardrobe, due to the fraying hems and worn print. She gives the shirt one last tug before, finishing up in the bathroom and gathers her things, then scampers back to the bedroom.

She finds Hak sitting in bed (‘shirtless!’) scrolling aimlessly on his phone. She hangs her clothes over a desk chair, so that they won’t wrinkle that terribly. The desk chair squeaks, catching Hak’s attention, putting his phone away on the nightstand. He watches her hovering awkwardly, nervously tugging at the hem of the shirt again. He pats the empty side of the bed next him, signaling to her to get in. She climbs into bed, pulling the covers over her to warm herself up. Hak shifts, turning off the bedside lamp and thus filling the room with darkness. Yona can’t see anything, but she knows he’s right there– right at her fingertips, if she just reaches out. She hears him move, getting under the covers. The silence is killing her; she feels like she has to say something, but what? She doesn’t even know what she wants– except, well, she wants to get close to him. Trying not to let the nerves get to her head, she steels herself before softly uttering his name, “Hak?”

She gets a low hum in return, losing all of her confidence. Hak was probably expecting her to say something more, so when she doesn’t continue, he prompts in hushed tones, “Yona…?” When she (yet again) doesn’t reply, he reaches out, fingers nudging her shoulder before pulling her close. She goes rigid against him, but relaxes when she feels him stroking her hair. Tucking her head under his chin, she takes a deep breath. She breathes in the scent of Hak– trying to etch it in into her memory, never wanting to forget the comfort it gives her. After all, she doesn’t know how much more time she has, before she has to go back to her everyday life– without him.

Yona feels a wave of loneliness hit her, realizing just how much she has missed basic human connection. She’s been so isolated since she graduated college, quickly losing touch with her friends as she moved back to her hometown. When she moved back, she didn’t know how to try to reconnect with her old friends– with Hak. But deep down, she’s hoping that this is her chance, her chance to stay in touch. Yona may not seem like it on the outside, but on the inside, she is very much a socially awkward and shy person with copious amounts of anxiety. Okay, maybe that much is visible to the outside, but her struggles to reach out and maintain relationships have always been so vast that it paralyzes her. Before she went off to college, she didn’t realize just how much of her relationships were based on meeting every day at school, or them reaching out first. So, when everyone else got too busy at college to message her, they lost touch.

Even with Hak. Yona doesn’t want to admit just how much that hurts– but it also is sort of her own fault. If someone never bothered to reach out to you and ask you about your life, why would one want to keep in touch? Why would anyone want to continue any relationship that’s one way? Yona gets so lost in her thoughts that she doesn’t even hear Hak talking to her.

“…Yona? Are you okay?”

“yeah, sorry. What were you saying? I was just, uh– a little lost in thought, that’s all”

“–Ah, nothing of importance, anyway. What were you thinking about?”

“–uh, I–“, for the hundredth time this evening (night?), Yona doesn’t quite know what to say. Maybe derailing the subject is a good idea. Yeah, great thinking Yona, best idea you’ve had all day. “–i-it wasn’t anything special anyway… I-I don’t really remember, to be honest”. She tacks on a laugh at the end, trying to sound like ‘oops, I’m so quirky’, but her faux laughter comes out stilted. Maybe she should’ve learned from earlier this evening. Damn.

Hak doesn’t seem so convinced, but is about to drop the subject when he says, “Was it perhaps about why you went running off from the group at the reunion? –when you were laughing so hard?”

Shit.

She didn’t think he was so perceptive, but here he is, going against everything Yona thought she knew about him. Which, in turn just makes matters even worse.

Since he’s oh-so-perceptive now, he figures out that he hit the nail on the head based on her reaction (or lack of thereof). Goddamnit.

“I don’t really know what happened then, will you tell me?” Hak says, like he’s some goddamn therapist. Yona huffs, trying to keep her emotions at bay, not wanting to cry again.

“–it was nothing, really. It was stupid”, she mutters, trying to signal to him that she really doesn’t want to talk about it. Hak, roleplaying some therapist, ignores her very obvious disinterest to discuss the subject at hand.

“It must have been something important enough, –enough to make you cry” Yona huffs again, taken aback by his statement. Well, if Yona were on her period she could definitely cry at just about anything, so that debunks his argument. Though, Yona doesn’t feel like arguing when he’s just trying to help her. So, she just shrugs her shoulders return, slumping against him, opening the floodgates once more. She attempts to weep as quietly as she can, so Hak won’t notice, but then again she’s crying on his bare chest. He rubs her back, attempting to comfort her– but it only makes her sob harder.

“Oh, Yona…” Hak sighs soothingly in her ear, moving her hair from her face and securing it behind said ear. He gently wipes her tears as her sobs turn to sniffles.

“Hak, I-I–“

“Hey, it’s okay Yona. Just breathe, okay?” She nods, taking deep breaths, following Hak’s slow breathing pattern. After what feels like an eternity, she feels like she can breathe again, even if her nose is all runny.

“I’ll go get you some tissues, I’ll be right back”, Hak slips out of the bed, and leaves Yona alone in the room. Yona sits up in bed, wiping at her face trying to look a little more presentable for when Hak comes back and turns on the lights. Just a few seconds later, he’s back with a box of Kleenex tissues and he flicks on the lights again. Only then does Yona realize he’s only in his boxers. But then again, she’s only wearing a t-shirt (his t-shirt) and a pair of panties. A blush blooms on her already blotchy face, though warmth and excitement blooms too at the thought that ‘this is so intimate’.

Hak sits back down on his side of the bed, handing her the box of tissues, giving her a soft smile. She thanks him, grabbing a tissue and wiping her remaining tears before wiping her nose. Her nose still feels stuffed, so she endeavors blowing her nose but ultimately her efforts end in vain, blowing so hard her ears pop. She would try jabbing the tissue up her nose to attempt to ‘excavate her nasal cavities’, if it weren’t for the fact that Hak was sitting there watching her. She has a go breathing in through her nose, swallowing a lot of mucus, but can finally breathe through one of her nostrils.

Hak reaches over and takes her used tissues from her hands, ignoring Yona’s complains.

“It’s alright; I don’t mind a little mucus”

“But I do! –I mean, I’ll take them!” she wheezes, lunging at him so she can steal them back. Hak, being taller than her, has no problem keeping them out of her reach. She gives up rather easily, crossing her arms and huffing loudly. She feels ashamed (and spoiled) that Hak has to take care of her, like she’s a little toddler throwing a temper tantrum. She hangs her head, missing the glint of mischief in his eyes.

“…’m sorry, Hak. I didn’t mean for you to have to babysit me”, she speaks in a low voice, her remorse slipping into her speech, as Hak tosses the tissues into his wastebasket under the desk.

“Yona, I’m not babysitting you; I’m comforting you since clearly something’s bothering you and I want to help you”, Hak sits back down on the bed next her, putting his hand atop her head in a reassuring gesture.

“…why?” Yona looks up at Hak, searching his face for the answer, as if he wasn’t planning on telling her why– or, as if he would reply something nasty, so she could brace herself for the impending impact.

“Because I care about you, of course”, he furrows his brow, indicating his confusion as to why she even has to ask. Yona doesn’t reply; she only keeps looking at him like he didn’t give her a good enough answer.

Hak sighs, dragging his hand through his hair– trembling. Fuck, is he getting sick of her shit? Well, it would be about time. He has, after all, put up with her all evening. Yona squeezes her eyes shut, preparing for the worst.

“…you know, after we lost touch in college I…” he begins, and continues after taking a deep breath “–I-I really missed you, you know?” he searches her eyes and she feels like he can see in to her soul, seeing her heart racing in her chest.

“I’ve never met anyone like you, no one who is as funny… and–and smart and god– beautiful like you. You’re my best friend; no one gets me like you do. So please Yona, don’t apologize for making me comfort you. There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than right here with you, okay?”

Yona feels immensely overwhelmed by his declaration, but also she feels ecstatic, akin to walking on air. Hak looks so vulnerable, his eyes darting to and from hers, like he just bared his heart (his soul) to her –which he actually just did. She surges forth, wrapping her arms around his torso, hiding her face under his chin before mumbling, “you’re going to make me cry again, you big sap”. He chuckles softly, putting his arms around her in return and whispers into her hair with glee, “mm, ‘m sorry about that”.

“No, you’re not!” Yona pulls back, appalled.

“Oh shit, you caught me”, Hak laughs, ruffling her hair, messing it up. Yona squeaks, batting his hand away and jabbing him in the ribs for revenge. She notices the way his eyes widen and communicate: ‘this means war’. Yona has got just a couple milliseconds to prepare before he launches his attack. She is obviously unprepared and instantly gets tackled by Hak who tickles her sides, remembering her weak spot even after all these years. She struggles (and whines to make him have mercy on her), slapping his hands away from her sides and kicking her legs underneath him– but he’s placed his knees on either side of her hips, making her legs useless.

Her breath is coming in short and fast, so as her final trick: she tries tickling him back, by jabbing him in the ribs again. Hak noticeably takes damage from her attack, so he switches to defense by grabbing her wrists and pinning them by her head. Her head spins as they both gasp for air, gazing into each other’s eyes. Hak loosens his hold on her wrists, retreating from her. Yona panics, not wanting to lose the moment, reaching up and tucks his soft, silky hair behind his ear, letting her fingers linger while she whines his name “…Hak”.

He stops; his eyes widening, causing him to look like a deer caught in the headlights. Yona feels like her heart is going to jump out of her chest, but at least Hak will treasure her heart, right? She smiles as sweetly as she can at him, hoping that it will convince him to come back closer to her. Just in case he doesn’t get the memo, she bit by bit tugs him down by the neck, with her fingers entangled in his hair. Yona runs out of patience and feels the need– the urge, to press her lips to his.

So she does just that, by wrapping her arms around his neck to pull herself up. After just a quick kiss, she pulls back, biting her lip and playing faux innocence and looks up at Hak seductively. It doesn’t take long at all before his lips are back on hers. Yona mentally cheers, as her little, impulsive plan worked. She wraps her hands around the back of his neck once more; grazing her fingers on his scalp, eliciting a deep moan whose sound gets muffled by her mouth.

When they must part for air, Hak works his way down her neck, gently kissing and sucking on her face and neck before reaching and staying at her pulse point. The action makes her whole body tingle with pleasure, making her instinctively grasp Hak harder and pull him even closer to her. Her mouth falls open, letting the noises from deep within her escape as heavy breaths and light mewls. She whines, missing his lips on hers again, pushing him lightly with her hands on his chest.

He pulls back, just so that he can peer into her eyes. His eyes are usually a deep blue, but now they’re almost all black, his irises have been long since swallowed by his dilated pupils. A pretty pink blush paints his cheeks and tip of his nose, which she can clearly see now– due to the light illuminating his face. His lips are parted as he breathes raggedly; she feels his (warm) chest heave against the palms of her hands.

‘Damn, he’s even more attractive when he’s all worked up’ she reflects. Yona is in (with no doubt) the same condition; her blush spreading like wildfire across her face and neck, continuing under the neckline of the t-shirt to her chest. She plants her elbows on the bed, pulling herself a little higher up, so she can slip one of her legs out from underneath Hak. He looks a little puzzled, but comprehends why when she clamps her legs around his thigh.

“–Y-Yona”, Hak stutters, retreating a smidge, reducing physical contact. His blush has deepened and spreads to his chest and ears. Yona blinks innocently at him, not understanding why he’s being so hesitant all of a sudden. Then it hits her like a ton of bricks: ‘oh, that’s why’.

“Hak, I don’t mind, in fact I’d be worried if you weren’t…” Yona tries to reassure him, however she doesn’t have the confidence to outright address the elephant in the room. 

“You sure though? I–“

“Yes, Hak. I’m sure”, Yona touches his face with the pads of her fingertips, before pressing her palm to his cheek in a cupping motion, stroking said cheek with her thumb. She presses her knees into his butt, making him lean back over her again. At the same time, she moves her hand from his cheek to his nape, giving him no choice but to lean in. (Well, if he actually didn’t want to, he could effortlessly break out of her grasp, since she’s far weaker than him. But he doesn’t.)

When their lips meet again, every part of her body vibrates with desire, getting more and more aroused at every little touch. She doesn’t quite understand how it’s possible to want someone just as tremendously she craves Hak– and she wants him in every way fathomable. He’s like a drug and she’s the addict. Yona’s hips move instinctively, and she doesn’t even realizes she’s doing it until Hak starts moving his hips too.

“Oh, fuck–” she exhales the words, barely registering that ‘she said that’ through the fog in her head that her arousal has created. She attacks Hak’s lips, sucking, licking and biting them as she clings onto him. She angles her hips, just so that his thrusts align with her clit, causing her to moan into his mouth. Her hand wanders from his neck to his chest, down to his abs, fondling his muscles before wandering back up to his shoulder, going down the length of his arm, grabbing his hand and carefully placing it on one of her breasts. Hak breaks their kiss to look her in the eye, silently asking her for her consent, making sure that it hadn’t been a mistake. Yona places her hand on his again, but this time makes his hand gently caress her boob. He takes that as a clear sign and continues to oh-so-gently rub her, as if he were afraid he could break her. Well, he probably could, but not by fondling her boob.

She slides her arm under his and onto his back, so she can hold him close as Hak kisses her neck and collarbones. Yona doesn’t know if she’s ever been this turned on; he must be able to feel it though her underwear on his thigh. She’s squirming so much just so that she can keep rubbing herself on him.

“H–Hak”, her voice is all raspy, laden with arousal. He stops what he was doing to her neck to press a quick kiss to her lips before humming as a response.

“Um, do– do you, uh… do you have any… –any condoms?” Wow, Yona has never quite felt this unprepared for a hookup, but she hasn’t exactly had any spontaneous (or numerous) hookups. To be honest though, she’s never felt like this when hooking up with someone– she’s never felt like this with anyone, period.

It takes a short while for Hak to understand what she just said; he probably also has his head clouded with arousal, if his hardness is anything to base it off of.

“–yeah, uh… yeah, I should have some in my nightstand –if–if not I know I have some in the bathroom” Hak rambles as he sits up, nervously raking his hand through his hair, as per usual. Yona sits up alongside him and can’t help but giggle at both herself and Hak, as they’re both acting like inexperienced teenagers. Well, he could be a virgin, but Yona highly doubts that. Hak looks questioningly at her and she feels like she has to explain herself or she could completely ruin everything.

“I’m sorry– I’m not laughing at you. I just think it’s a little funny how when I’m with you, I feel like I’m 17 again… and I get the feeling that you, do too?” She phrases it like a question, not wanting to assume anything. Hak visibly relaxes at that, nodding, “yeah, –that’s actually a good way to describe it”.

“Yeah?” Yona can’t help but smile at him. God, is it too early to know if she loves him? Because this must be love, what else could it possibly be? Infatuation? Lust? She’s experienced those before, and it never felt anything close to this. When she’s with Hak, her heart is content– there’s no place she’d rather be. Just like how Hak told her he felt.

She impulsively kisses him on the cheek, because she just can’t control herself around him and she just wanted to. Somehow, that feels more intimate than what they were just doing. Hak’s shy smile and chuckle makes her want to his kiss cheek into eternity– if that’s the reaction she’ll always get.

He opens the drawer in his nightstand, rummaging through it, moving things like a phone charger and post-it notes out of the way before he finds a small, discreet box. He closes the drawer and opens the box, obviously containing what they were searching for. He picks one out, setting the box atop the nightstand. Yona’s nerves come creeping back and her anxiety gets to her head, making her dwell on things like: ‘I haven’t had sex for over two years, what if it hurts? –or worse, what if he doesn’t think it’s any good?’

“–Yona?” Hak has a concerned look on his face.

“–huh? I’m sorry, what did you say?”

“You know, we don’t have to, if you don’t want to. I wouldn’t judge you”

“No, no Hak I–I want to, I really do…–it-it’s just that… I guess I–I’m just scared?”

“What for? I mean, I guess I am too. Well, I guess more nervous than scared”, he says soothingly while rubbing her thigh.

“–I… I’m just scared that it’ll hurt, since it’s been so long since I last… or–or that’ll I… –I won’t be good enough…” she whispers, proud of herself for daring to admit it aloud to Hak, but she’s also terrified of how he’ll react.

“Oh, Yona…” he says so softly, enveloping her in a gentle embrace as he kisses the top of her head. “You promise me that you’ll tell me if it hurts, okay? The last thing I want to do is hurt you”. She nods, hoping that she’ll dare to speak up during– if it so happens to hurt. Yona feels so vulnerable, but she feels safe with him and– and she wants this. She really wants this, wants him and never wants this night to be over.

They decide on some safe-words, as it will make it less easily confused with incoherent blabbering and moans. Hak suggests the traffic light system, green for all good, yellow for wait and last but definitely not least, red for stop. ‘He’s so caring’, she thinks as she shyly looks up at him, placing her hand on his chest, feeling his steady heartbeat. She ever-so lightly kisses the side of his mouth and giving her a smile so endearing and genuine, she feels like she’ll melt into a puddle. He slips his hand into her hair, fingertips scraping her scalp and presses his forehead to hers, closing his eyes.

Yona turns her body so that she’s facing him, gently pushing on his chest, silently telling him what she means. Hak scoots back towards the middles of the bed, away from the edge they were sitting on. She follows him, crawling like a predator stalking its prey. He lies down under the covers, body still facing hers. She climbs in under the covers too, inching closer and closer to him– until their bodies touch, entangling their limbs together. ‘It’s the calm before the storm’, Yona guesses. But it’s a storm she’s dreamed of, a storm that’s not a calamity– but a controlled and fervent storm that rages, contained within her heart. She treasures this sweet, innocent moment of pure bliss before it turns steamy and lustful.

Yona can’t quite say who leans in first, but when they start kissing again– they don’t stop. Hak slips his tongue into her mouth as he moves to hover over her, sliding one of his legs between hers. She touches his face with one hand and holds the other on his chest, feeling his soft, warm skin under her palm. He travels from her mouth to her jaw and neck, leaving a trail of kisses on her skin. He leaves a morning rose on her pulse point, making her clutch at his back as it sends tingling sensations through her limbs.

Hak continues to his trail of kisses until the collar of the t-shirt blocks his way. He looks her in the eyes, touching the hem of the shirt, asking her if it’s okay to remove it, along with what color she feels. Yona feels her heart race but nods her consent, replying green as she lifts her shoulders to allow the shirt to slip off her torso. He admires the view, making Yona blush even harder and her blush visibly spreads down her chest. She tries to hide it with the back of her hand in front of her nose, as he gawks at her.

“–Hak…” she whines, feeling embarrassed.

“I’m sorry, you’re just so beautiful– I can’t help but stare”, Hak whispers, voice raspy as he leans in and removes her hand from her face pressing a gentle kiss to it before kissing her lips softly. His flattery makes her fluster even more, the sentiment making her feel all fuzzy inside. She is astonished and rendered speechless, as she doesn’t really know what to say in response. Yona herself feels like she’s nothing special and is rather average. To avoid having to articulate herself, she wraps her arms around his neck again, pulling his mouth to hers in a hard, passionate kiss.

Hak slides one of his arms under her, to pull her against him and uses the other to prop himself up (so he doesn’t crush her) and stroke her curls. The sensation of her supple breasts in direct contact with his skin thrills her, pleasure wracking through her body as her nipples graze his body. She can’t help the sounds that escape her, solely thinking of how wonderful everything feels.

Yona is selfish and insatiable, so she apprehensively traces her fingers down his chest and nudges them ever so slightly under his waistband, but not quite reaching in under. Hak breaks the kiss to look her the eyes, noticing her hesitancy. He places his hand on her trembling one, trying to tell her that it’s okay.

“Yona?”

“–yeah, sorry”

“Hey… you don’t need to apologize. Do you want me to guide you?” Yona nods; this isn’t her first rodeo, but everything’s so different when she’s with Hak. He makes her confidence falter and lose any sort of self-control she may have once had.

Hak takes her hand and slowly slips it past his waistband, into his underwear. Her hand gets positioned on his hard length, making her eyes widen slightly. He takes away his hand, relocating it by her face to move her hair behind her ear, leaving her hand alone inside his boxers. She tentatively wraps her fingers around the silky skin and ever so slightly tugs on said silky skin, earning a sharp exhale from Hak. Feeling a little courageous, she grasps him properly and slides her hand up and down his length.

The reaction is instantaneous; Hak tucks his head in the crook of her neck and bites his lip to silence his moans. She continues and uses her free hand to guide his hand back to her breast, which he doesn’t hesitate to caress. She finds his boxers to be in the way, so she slides them off of him so she has full access to his cock.

He doesn’t let her focus on his gratification for long before he whispers in her ear, “let me take care of you; it wouldn’t be fair if you don’t get to feel good too…” they make eye contact as he caresses her cheek; Yona takes away her hand and drapes her arms around his neck before nodding, “oh, –okay”. Hak brushes his lips against hers, and then traces his fingertips along her body from her neck down to the lace of her underwear. The touch tickles, but it vibrates anticipation for the ecstasy that’s to come.

“Color?”

“G-green…”

He hooks his fingers under the lace trim of her underwear, carefully slipping them down. Yona lifts her hips, allowing him to remove them completely. He kisses her softly as his fingers wander further south, making her gasp as he probes her vulva, quickly finding her clitoris.

“Fuck, you’re so wet” Hak muses to himself, astonished at how aroused she is. She would feel self-conscious if she could think straight– which she definitely can’t when his slick fingers are circling her clit.

She’s so lost in the euphoria that she can’t focus on kissing Hak back, so he leaves marks on her neck as she whimpers his name, “–Ah, Hak…!” Yona digs her fingers into his back, everything just feeling so good and right. All of her senses are consumed by him: she smells his scent– a masculine and poignant scent, her tongue still savoring the taste of his mouth on hers and her vision swimming with the view of his muscular physique. The sounds of his lips attacking and abusing her neck– along with her own breathlessness floods her ears; her sense of touch is overwhelmed with the intimacy and desire.

The need, the craving, the urge, the hunger– all of it, screams inside her for him. She yearns for him to be inside her.

“–Hak pl–oh, –please… H-Hak”, she whines, trying to sound coherent. She has to repeat herself for him to understand that she’s talking to him and not just lost in the pleasure. Hak stops what he’s doing to her neck, to try and interpret what she means by deciphering her words and facial expressions. Yona sees the moment he cracks the code, his eyes widening a bit and freezes up– like his brain just short circuited.

“Hak? You okay? What–what color do you… um–“

“–oh –yeah, I’m fine– no, I’m better than fine, uh… words escape me” he jokes self-deprecatingly.

“You sure? We don’t have to–“

“–Yona. I’ve never been more sure”

“–oh… well, then…” she smiles shyly at him before reaching over and grabbing the condom from where it had laid until now, forgotten. She hands it to Hak, who fails at trying to open it (‘because his fingers are all slippery from her ‘pussy juice’’). She takes it back from him, tearing it carefully open and removes it from the packaging. She hands it back to Hak, who thanks her with a quick peck on her forehead. He checks that it’s intact and what way it rolls, before pinching the top and unrolling it properly on his cock. Yona watches with fascination, appreciating how meticulous he is.

He leans back over her, lifting her leg (that was in between his), to the outside of his hips. Hak kisses her forehead, her cheeks, and corner of her mouth before kissing her lips as he nudges his cock to her entrance– not quite yet pushing in. Her heartbeat is beating a mile a minute as he asks her for the color once again. Yona has never quite felt this strongly about a color, especially green. But in that instant, she practically wails the color’s name into his mouth– feeling that everything has been building up to this moment. And when she finally feels him enter her, she can’t think about anything besides how culminating it feels.

“Ah– Hak…!” she breathes out, digging her nails into his back as he groans in the crook of her neck– fully sheathing himself inside her. It does ache just a tad; he lifts himself off her, gazing into her eyes as he murmurs, “color?”

“–ah, yellow– b-but very s-soon green” she stutters, trying to contain her excitement as Hak chuckles at her, clearly picking up on it. The mild ache diminishes by the seconds that pass, as her arousal-swollen muscle adjusts to the sheer size of Hak.

“um, it– it’s green now” she whispers, feeling shy. She receives a kiss as an affirmative before he carefully rolls his hips, making her gasp from the tingling sensations it sends throughout her body. Yona wraps her legs around his hips and lower back, trapping him in with her ankles by locking them together. He continues to gently rock into her, her cervix still a little sensitive, making her whimper. Hak stops and looks at her with wide eyes and concern, but Yona doesn’t want him to stop, so she pulls his face towards hers in a passionate kiss.

“…keep going…” she mumbles into his mouth. He nods, resuming to gently gyrate his hips, softly grunting and hiding his face under her jaw. Yona threads her fingers into his silky, thick, black hair, carefully gripping his nape, while planting a loving kiss to his temple. Hak is moving so slowly– too slowly. And too delicately, like he thinks she’s her late mom’s china that’s bound to break.

The discomfort is so mild now that she tells him, “Hak… faster, please”, trying not to make it sound like a whine, but it inevitably does. Hak doesn’t seem to notice, only sliding his arms under her, so he can hold her steady as he picks up speed. Yona sighs, snuggling closer to him as he rocks in and out of her, but he’s still being too gentle.

This time, Yona knows she’s whining when she breathes his name in his ear, “Haaak… please–, please fuck me”. She feels his hips stutter and she giggles, “mm~ Hak… you know, I won’t break, so please…”

She hears him growl, “your wish is my command, Princess” before he snaps his hips, just short of ramming into her. Yona thinks she can see stars, as the sensation blows her away; her mouth falls open, allowing her moans to escape, as she hangs on tight to Hak. He bites her neck, sucking hard and bruising her skin.

Yona can’t think any coherent thoughts anymore except ‘mine, he’s mine’. His moans and grunts sends shivers down her spine. The way he grinds his hips when he’s fully inside her, stimulates her clit, making her closer and closer to climax. She pulls his hair, lifting his face to hers so she can lick her way into his mouth, sending even more tingles throughout her body, causing her pelvic muscles to contract.

“Ah, fuck– Yona–“, Hak pants into her mouth, evidently affected by her contracting muscles. Yona bears down, squeezing him inside of her.

“Yona–”, he growls, “–if you keep doing that I won’t last much longer”.

She giggles and replies, “mm, I won’t either… –especially if you fuck me as hard as you can”. Hak is stunned and noticeably falters, before he smirks and whispers, “oh, is that a challenge?”

“mm, maybe so, what kind of challenge did you have in mind?” she smirks back, knowing exactly what challenge he’s thinking of.

“hmm, well, I don’t know, either who lasts the longest or who cums first wins”

“mm~ the latter sounds easier, so I think I’d prefer that”, Yona smiles sweetly up at Hak, with her eyes lidded, trying to convince him to choose her preferred challenge. And Hak is a sucker for her pretty smiles and gives in rather easily with an, “okay”, and he can’t resist pressing his lips to hers.

“You really sure though? That you want it rough, I mean”, he asks her, checking one last time before their challenge truly begins.

“yes– oh, fuck yes… please Hak”, she whines. She’s feels so spoiled by him, he’s always doing what she asks of him. He grips her hips and back tightly, holding her in place as he rams into her, with his face in buried in her neck, moaning her name loudly in her ear. It doesn’t take long at all before she’s cumming, feeling her muscles spasm and the rush of endorphins and hormones flood her brain. She feels Hak grunting, cumming as her muscles clamp hard down on his cock. Somewhere in the back of her head she’s doing some victory dance ‘cause she won the challenge, but that’s not what’s important right now.

They both lie there, wheezing as they try to catch their breaths. Yona tries to ignore the ‘post-nut clarity’ or whatever, and tries to keep the mood light by giggling, “oof, you’re suffocating me, Hak” and rubs his back, turning her face into his neck– wanting to keep him close. Hak chuckles in return, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Better?” He moves her hair out of her face; her cheeks are all blotchy and red while her eyes are shiny and soft. She closes her eyes, leaning her face into his hand while humming noncommittally.

“No?” Yona opens her eyes to look at Hak, who is smirking lightly at her. She closes her eyes again, sleepily replying, “mm, you were warm and snuggly” while rubbing her eye. He chuckles, leaning in to kiss her cheek before pulling his (now soft) cock out of her. Hak gets out of bed to dispose of the condom and when he returns, he finds Yona lying on her side with the covers not quite covering up her body, but just enough so that she doesn’t freeze. As soon as he gets in under the covers, she slides over to him, draping her body over his. He chuckles at her actions and she feels embarrassed, apologizing, “–sorry, I should’ve asked…” and pulls away from him.

“No, no no– Yona… I didn’t mean to laugh at you, it’s just–“, Hak catches her by the arm and stops mid-sentence. She feels compelled to ask him what he means, since she doesn’t understand why he would laugh at her.

“It’s just what, Hak?” she’s sure he can feel the way her heartbeat picks up pace, frightened of what he’ll say, that ‘what they just shared was nothing more than a mere hookup?’ and that ‘hookups don’t usually cuddle?’

Hak stutters, trying to hide his blush with the back of his hand, but fails as it has spread to the tips of his ears and upper chest.

“It–it’s just that, uh– fuck… it’s just that you were really cute, that’s all”.

“Oh”, is all she manages to choke out, as her face and chest turn crimson, like her hair. She leans forward, plants her hands on his chest, hiding her face there as well, and feels him rubbing soothing circles on her back, hiding his face in her hair.

He leans over to the side of the bed, turning off the light– letting darkness fill the room. A silence passes between them and Yona doesn’t know if he’s going to say anything so she panics and blurts his name.

“–Hak?”

He hums in response, waiting for her to continue.

“I– What– uh… –I don’t want this just to be a hookup”, she reveals, speaking her most inner emotions.

“–I-I don’t want to lose you again. I’ve missed you so…” she continues and hears him exhale sharply, waiting for him to reject her, hoping that he’ll at least let her down gently with something like ‘I’m sorry, I don’t do relationships’ and not something like ‘you’re too needy’.

“Really? You really mean that?” she can’t decipher what his feelings are, behind the words. If the lights were still on, she’d be able to gauge his facial expression for what his underlying thoughts are.

“–um, yeah… –I think… I think I’m in love with you, Hak”, she figures she might as well play her entire hand, since all her cards are already on the table. The darkness of the room makes it harder to guess what he’ll reply, but it is also a comfort, knowing that he can’t see her either– can’t see the raw emotions on her face. It takes him a while to process what she just said, which is understandable– she just confessed her true feelings to him. But it doesn’t ease her heart, the longer the silence passes on.

“–Hak? Please say something…” she tries not to let her voice waiver, raw with the emotions that are swimming through her.

“–I… I think –no, I’m sure that I’m in love with you, too. I have been since before high school– I don’t even remember when I first fell for you”, Yona feels like he just kicked the wind out of her, but in a good way. The tears that were brewing in her eyes, spill over– but unlike the rest of the evening (well, now night), they’re happy tears. She hugs him tightly, feeling all of her worries melt away.

Everything will work out in the end, as long as she has him by her side.