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get out of your imagination, it's not good in there

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There were certain things Jeongguk was very particular about, things like his workout routine and the people he trusted. He figured that was pretty universal. There was one thing though, as trivial as it may seem, that Jeongguk was especially particular about - the notification sounds on his phone. The ravennette needed to have a specific type of audible alert for different applications and different people. 

For Twitter he had a bird singing, he thought it’d be cute.

His private Instagram had the shutter sound of a camera (specifically, the shutter sounds of Taehyung’s camera).

Naver was on silent since he realised his tattoos really seemed to piss off some people for reasons he did not understand.

In his messaging app he made the 97 liner’s chat notification the intro to The Shower by IU because they were all men of taste. A recording of the maknae line chanting 'thighs' was Namjoon’s notification sound. Hoseok’s ‘pa pa pa pa pa’s’ that had become ingrained as part of the dance practice experience as Hobi’s sound. Jimin got Randy Newman singing the line 'short people' from his song, Short People , he thought it was inspired choice. Jimin? Not so much. Yoongi got the (quite apt in Jeongguk’s opinion) ASMR sounds of someone pouring whiskey into a glass because friendship was Irish Bomb. Seokjin’s was of a compilation he found of the elder’s laugh. Last was Taehyung, Taehyung had the standard notification sound.

He was extremely offended by this. Jeongguk tells him it’s because he just can’t find something that fits. And it’s true. Sort of.

The whole truth is that he’s found some high caliber options, at least according to himself, but they’re just so obvious. One of them was a segment of Taehyung’s cover for A Daily Song , he remembers the first time they sung it together and being in awe of the way Taehyung’s voice suited the song. Another option was the sound of his laughter, one of his favourite sounds in the whole world, but for some reason it felt different from the one he had for Jin, too personal. Last was the recording he made once while he was filming Taehyung in his art studio, the whole thing was roughly three hours long but he knew which part he wanted. It was Taehyung getting really into the drawing he was busy with - charcoals were his medium of choice - it took the younger a while to figure out where he was going with it until he took a step back. It was their view from the stage, their view of ARMYs and their lightsticks shining like stars, and the camera captured the sound of every stroke and brush of his hands and the black square against the paper.

Jimin suggested he use Major Lazer’s Bubble Butt , and he thought it was a great idea. Taehyung’s ass was magnificent. But then he kept thinking about said ass to the point where his jeans weren’t as comfortable and thus went back to the original chime

Weverse had Jin shouting, “ARMY!”. It just seemed fitting.

The fans didn’t know but they also got notifications when the other member’s posted - he couldn’t customize it, he asked - and most of the time his notifications for the app were turned off.

But recently some of the members (read: Taehyung) had been more active on it and he figured there was no harm in putting the notification sound back on. 

It’s late when he gets the notifications (Seokjin screeching in his ear next to his pillow), he knows this because he hadn’t been able to fall asleep and had been tossing and turning for the better part of two hours.

It’s Taehyung, he’s on Weverse.

He complained that he couldn’t sleep. 

Well, Jeongguk thought, if they slept together it would be killing two birds with one stone. Jeongguk always slept better cuddled up next to Taehyung and the elder always slept better when he could wrap his limbs around a warm body. Jeongguk sometimes let himself believe that he slept best with the maknae specifically but only sometimes. Most of the time he doesn’t let his thoughts runaway with his heart.

Yet, he still finds himself lifting his body off of his bed and throwing on a sleep shirt. He still checks his face in the mirror and then leaves his room pillow in hand. Maybe he’s a masochist.

He’s in front of the elder’s room when he gets the second notification, ‘Get out of your imagination, it’s not a good place to be,’ he had said to a fan.

Jeongguk wondered what type of post would garner such a response, Taehyung was known to be the one in their group to put their fans in their place sometimes so it wasn’t really surprising but he was still curious as to why Taehyung would say that.

So he clicks on the post, but it’s gone. It’s gone and he can’t even see Taehyung’s reply. There’s only one place he is absolutely certain he could check to find out what happened : Twitter. He opens the app and logs in with his private account (he always did to avoid the risk of liking or retweeting something on their official account) but before he even found the post, he saw what was trending : Taehyung and the hashtag taekookisdead.

He was utterly confused. Just what did his hyung do.

It took him countless tweets of people saying things like ‘I knew it,  knew they weren't close anymore!’, ‘Taehyung doesn’t like Jungkook we been knew’ & ‘taekookers can finally shut up about their ship being real’ before he found a screenshot of the post.

It was, as expected by an ARMY, who had told the elder she looked at pictures of Jeongguk, who Taehyung loved very much and suggested that he do the same to help him fall asleep. And Taehyung had responded and effectively ‘killed’ them.

And inadvertently rejected Jeongguk and his feelings.

He’s so caught up in his phone and the tweets about the incident, he doesn’t hear Taehyung emerging from his room.

“Oh hey Gukkie, did you want to play a game of Fortnite?” The elder asks, blessing him with that sleepy smile he loved.

“Oh no I couldn’t sleep-”

“Did you want to cuddle, my pillows aren’t cutting it either.”

And maybe he has some sense of self preservation, maybe he is not that masochistic because he says no.

It’s not completely left field, just very rare - because he doesn’t like saying no to Taehyung. He doesn’t like when his lips gets all pouty and his eyes get all big and pretty, mostly because he hates seeing Taehyung upset but also because the urge to kiss him is so strong then.

It’s clear from the way his eyebrows raised and eyes widen that he’s just as surprised by Jeongguk’s answer as the younger is.

“I was actually on my way to Jin-hyung’s room,” he lies, holding his pillow up as some sort of ‘evidence’.

“Oh.”

He’s pretty sure he sees Taehyung’s face fall for a second before he recovers and plasters on a smile, but it’s like he can hear Taehyung’s Weverse comment ringing through his thoughts so he brushes it off.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Gukkie, sleep well.”

He doesn’t sleep well, he barely sleeps at all.

The thing about Taehyung, the absolutely devastating thing about Kim Taehyung is that he is just so easy to love. Because Taehyung is beautiful, he’s the prettiest person Jeongguk’s ever seen and that’s just him being objective.

He remembers seeing him enter the dorm for the first time, his hair reminded the younger of a tiger and he had instantly taken a liking to him, His ears were too big for his face, Jeongguk found it cute but also familiar (he’s mom told him he’d grow into his nose). He was scrawny with a mischievous smile and even then despite and because of all of it Jeongguk remembers thinking, ‘ Pretty.

He thinks fifteen year old Jeongguk’s heart would drop out of his ass if he saw the man Taehyung had blossomed into. If he saw how he grew into his features, just like Jeongguk did, but the younger opines that Taehyung did it better. Taehyung does everything better. He thinks younger Jeongguk would fall over his feet if he saw the older with the curls that are ever-present since he got his hair permed - his hair is just so fluffy and Jeongguk needs to physically restrain himself from running his fingers through them in public. His shoulders have also gotten broader, chest more defined and his ass - well Jeongguk could, would and has waxed poetic about it. 

He thinks about how Taehyung has grown as a performer and srtist too and presumes that debut Jeongguk would die if he had to encounter present Taehyung - with his confident stare, his lethal smirks and the aura that he carries around him. Yep, that would definitely give him a premature heart attack.

And that was just the physical aspect, Jeongguk could write sonnets about Taehyung's captivating personality. He could write novels about how talented and smart he was. He could do a whole series on how great of a person and friend he was and how his heart was made of pure gold.

But then he remembers why he’s in Seokjin’s bed and he just wants to stop thinking.

“Jeongguk?” Jin stirs, “What’re you doing here?”

He doesn’t think he’s ready to talk about it. Doesn’t think he ever will be ready.

“I thought you were sleeping,” he says instead and it’s true, when he’d climbed into his hyung’s bed he could hear his soft snores.

“I was but your thoughts are so loud they woke me up,” he smiles, still wiping sleep from his eyes.

Jeongguk sighs, “Hyung, have you ever been in love?”

Suddenly, Seokjin is wide awake.

“Jeongguk is this really a conversation you want to be having at,” he pauses to lift his phone, squinting when his eyes have trouble adjusting to the light, “2:43 AM?”

He shrugs, “It’s just a question.”

“Jeongguk nobody ‘just’ asks questions like that, especially at ungodly hours like this.”

The thing is he wants to talk about it, he wants someone else to understand where he is coming from but he doesn’t even know what to say. That he’s been in love with Taehyung since he was sixteen - even though it feels like he’s fallen for him an eternity ago? Does he say he never ever in a million years expected his feelings to be reciprocated but had a little bit of hope buried deep deep down that Taehyung squashed like dirt under his shoes? He doesn’t know what to say or how to say it, doesn’t even know where to start.

“Jeongguk are you in love?”

It’s clear to him that if he lies it won’t do him much because his hyung is using, what they’ve dubbed, his serious voice. It’s rare - mostly because he doesn’t want to be one of those people that forces his seniority onto others. But when he does, it’s usually about things important to him, things that he cares about too much for it to be a lighthearted conversation.

This reaffirmation of the fact that his hyung loves him and will have his back no matter what makes it easier to tell the truth.

“Yes.”

Besides it’s not like he’d have any clue as to who he was in love with.

“Is it someone in Bangtan?” he asks, voice apprehensive.

Jeongguk blinks. Once. Twice.

Seokjin’s eyebrows crease as he frowns, “You are gay right?” 

He remembers then that they’ve never had this conversation, he just assumed everyone was not straight after the night Taehyung had come out. He gathered them all around a few months after they all moved into the dorms, he’d never seen him look so scared. Jeongguk remembers the fear pumping through his veins as thoughts of Taehyung announcing that he would be leaving the group attacked his mind like a plague.

He remembers it well, the way he had to forcefully stop his leg from the way it was shaking because he just didn’t want him to leave at all. Taehyung came into his life like a whirlwind, boxy smile lighting it up and warm hands never straying too far from his own. Everything with him was so easy, and that’s exactly what he needed - an easy friend, an easy smile and easy conversation in the midst of one of the most difficult times of his life.

No way in hell could he leave.

But he was off, way off because Taehyung wanted to tell them something else entirely - he was bisexual.

The moment he said it, the anxiety that washed over him was visible - Jeongguk wanted nothing more than to hug him, but he was paralysed. Taehyung was bisexual, that meant that Taehyung liked boys, that meant that Taehyung would date boys.

It’s also the first time he questions his own sexuality, because he doesn’t like the thought of Taehyung dating other boys. There’s a second where he panics - scared that he was a bigoted homophobe and he wants to cry because absolutely not. But then he realises he wouldn’t mind Taehyung dating a boy so much, if that boy was him.

Before he gets the opportunity to ask or say anything Yoongi speaks up.

"While I'm proud of Taehyungie," he says, rifling the younger's hair, "I also want everyone to know that you don't need to come out, no one is expecting heterosexuality from each other and we shouldn't. So if you do feel a certain way about something or someone and want to talk about it, you can, we're always there to listen but you're under no obligation to announce it either."

Since then no one else has 'came out' but he's pretty sure at least five of them are not straight. There have been too many incidents where there was just absolutely no heterosexual explanation even for super mega best bros.

"I don't know I think I could be bisexual," he tells his hyung.

It's true sometimes he sees a boy and thinks he's pretty and sometimes he sees a girl and he thinks she's pretty, sometimes he thinks about doing things with them that will make even Seokjin blush.

Other times, most times he considers himself to be strictly Taesexual - because nothing he has ever felt for others (no smidgen of attraction, no shyness to catch their eye) has come even close to the way his heart becomes an olympic gymnast in his chest when Taehyung so much as smiles at him.

"Is it," he pauses, searching the maknae's face, "one of us?"

Yes.

"No."

"Jeon Jeongguk you are such a bad liar," Jin scolds, amused.

He can feel the tips of his ears reddening, the flush of embarrassment crawling up his neck.

"Well I'm out, you're not brave enough to talk to the person you like about things like this."

Jeongguk gives him a weak punch, "I am plenty brave!"

And truth be told he has spoken to Taehyung about this. It was one of many nights of them cuddled up on Taehyung's bed, the older's limbs wrapped around Jeongguk's who let himself get a little caught up in it sometimes. Imagined that they were boyfriends and that this was both of their favourite places in the world, not just Jeongguk's. He craned his neck to look at the then-silver haired boy, "Taehyung don't you find it weird that we sing about love when none of us actually have experienced it, the romantic kind I mean?"

"You've never felt romantic feelings for anyone Gukkie?"

And Gukkie definitely was not going to say, 'only for you my love' because he's not corny or English. So he goes with a half truth, "I joined Bangtan when I was thirteen and you know how people are about k-pop idols and dating."

"That's stupid," Taehyung starts but quickly corrects himself when he sees the beginning of a pout forming, "Not you! It's totally normal to not experience it in this industry I just think it's really stupid that that's the norm in this industry."

"So, did you like anyone pre-debut hyung?"

"There was this one boy in my high school, I think he was straight though. But he was kind and funny and so cute I think I could've loved him, or at least I would have felt what I thought love was back then."

It doesn't take much for Jeongguk to realise that the discomfort he feels is jealousy. The thought of Taehyung’s heart even possibly running amuck for someone else makes him sad and he knows it’s more to do with Taehyung then anything else because he knows sometimes (a lot of the time) he’ll get sulky when Taehyung’s attention is on the other members and not him.

He’s working on it but it’s hard - Taehyung’s attention is a wanted entity, in literally every context, wherever they are, whenever.

Taehyung says he could say the same for Jeongguk but he doesn’t think so, or at least he doesn’t notice it.

My eyes are always on you, I love you .

But Taehyung, he doesn’t seem to catch the stares.

“Well,” Seokjin starts, pulling him out of his thoughts, “It’s not Namjoon - you’re not bold enough to be as obvious as you are with your admiration for him if it came from a romantic place.”

He remembers when everyone, including himself, was convinced that Jeongguk was harboring feelings for their leader. But eventually they realised Jeongguk’s adoration for Namjoon stemmed from admiration and not desire or anything of the like. He didn’t want Namjoon he wanted to be Namjoon.

Taehyung always reminds him that the world needs one Namjoon and one Jeongguk, says it’ll start spinning out of orbit if there were two Namjoons and (according to Tae) even more disastrous : No Jeongguks.

“Why don’t you save me the trouble of going down the list like I’m doing our fan chant and be a man and tell me you’re in love with-”

“I’m in love with Taehyung,” Jeongguk breathes out.

“-Taehyung,” Seokjin finishes.

“YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH TAEHYUNG?!?”

“YOU KNEW?!?”

Their screams are simultaneous and they both know they need to turn it down before Yoongi barges in and threatens that he’ll never put them on AgustD II. 

“Wait why are you asking if you already knew?” Jeongguk questions.

Seokjin merely flicks his wrist, “A calculated guess but also your heart eyes are pretty fucking obvious, I think everyone knows.”

Oh no oh no oh no no no no no no

“Not Taehyung, stop hyperventilating.” He grabs Jeongguk by the shoulders and pinches his cheek, “Taehyung doesn’t know, he’s really fucking dense when it comes to these things it seems.”

“But his eyes aren’t big for no reason!” he retaliates.

“You did not just quote him,” Seokjin mumbles, more to himself than anything as he massages his temples.

“Listen bunny boy, he doesn’t know.”

“Well,” Jeongguk starts, fiddling with the blanket, “how did you guys find out?”

Seokjin softens, “Your eyes are very telling Jeongguk, the way you look at him is the same as the look on your face when you’re performing on stage, when a song you’ve been working hard for comes together and when you’re on the phone with your family. You look at him like he’s your home Jeongguk.”

“Oh.”

He doesn’t even know what to say, what can he now that everyone knew he was hopelessly in love with his best friend that didn’t feel the same?

“Did you see what he said on Weverse hyung?”

“Yes, I check my phone while I’m asleep,” he deadpans.

Jeongguk makes a face at him, “Well it would explain your Weverse excellent attendance award!”

“I’ll have you know I earned that award!” he bites back.

Jeongguk lets out a small laugh - he needed that.

“So what did my favourite dongsaeng say on Weverse?” he prompts gesturing to Jeongguk’s phone.

“I thought I was your favourite?!?” 

“No you’re Namjoon’s favourite.”

Jeongguk preens.

They’re discussing the dynamics of who is whose favourite -

(“Wait then who has Jimin-hyung as their favourite?”

“Hoseok of course!”

“What about Yoongi-hyung?”

“Taehyung is his favourite!”

“That’s not fair I’m the youngest,” he whines.

But he totally gets it Taehyung is his favourite too, and he can’t even be Taehyung’s hyung.

“I lied I hate all three of you equally.")

-  when he remembers he needs to show Seokjin the post and Taehyung’s response.

He opens his gallery and shows him the screenshots he saved from Twitter.

“Oh Jeongguk-”

And apparently that’s all it takes for the flood gates to open up as he full on sobs - and the thing is he knows how he is. He knows his emotions get the best of him a lot of the time and that he’s so easily moved to tears. He just really didn’t want to cry about this and that makes him cry even harder. 

"Hyung I love him so much," he sniffles, crying into Seokjin's shoulders.

"It's gonna be okay Jeongguk-ah," Jin says, rubbing circles on his back.

The thing is, he knows. He knows eventually it's going to be okay. It's not going to kill him because at least he still has Taehyung in his life, at least he still has his best friend.

But it just fucking hurts.

His heart actually physically aches, his head feels like the universe is beating at it and he's just so tired. The type of tired where he doesn't want to sleep, just wants to cry until he passes out.


"Jeongguk did you sleep okay?" Namjoon asks over breakfast the following morning.

"Yeah you look a bit worse for wear," Hoseok adds, ruffling his hair affectionately.

He is very much aware of this, almost flinching when he saw what he looked like in the mirror that morning. Puffy eyes from the crying, dark circles as a result of the lack of sleep and all in all he looked like someone had sucked his soul out of his body.

Heartbreak is a weirdly corporeal thing, he realises. He figures it works in the same way that stress does - because when you're stressed you get headaches and tense muscles and nausea. Heartbreak, he's concluded, is accompanied with his heart attempting to claw it's way out of his chest, with insomnia and with no apatite (which he figured out after five minutes of picking up and then dropping the bulgogi in his bowl).

He doesn't realise he hasn't responded until he feels a familiar pair of arms wrap around his waist, "You okay Jeongukkie?"

His heart finally stops, puts it's claws away and settles. Taehyung.

But all of that goes to shit when he turns and looks at him, sees that beautiful boxy smile that's gotten him through so many terrible days and eyes that hold so much love. Because Taehyung loves him, he loves Jeongguk so much. But not like Jeongguk does and he feels guilty for being sad about it, like he's fucked up for not appreciating that he so much as has Taehyung in his life. There is a small voice that tells him it's okay, that he's allowed to be sad about it - but one small voice doesn't stand a chance against the hundred others telling him to 'man up' and 'get over it'.

It's overwhelming.

He doesn't know how to contain what he's feeling so he doesn't. He lets himself cry.

"Jeongguk, what's wrong?" He sounds worried, scared.

The younger wants to tell him not to worry, that he's fine - but the more he tries to talk the less fine he actually sounds.

He's so caught up in Taehyung trying to calm him down that he doesn't hear Jimin telling the others that they should leave and give him some space or them shuffling out of the room.

"Gukkie, do you want to move to the couch?" His voice is gentle, like he's trying his best not to upset him even further and it's exactly that thoughtfulness that upsets him further.

Taehyung attempts to lift Jeongguk, slouched against him like dead weight, thrice before he says, "I know I've been working out lately but you're still 95% muscles and 5% cheeks so I'm going to need some help to get us to the couch."

Jeongguk manages a small smile and moves over to the couch, Taehyung in tow.

They spend the next couple of minutes cuddled on the couch, Jeongguk trying to regulate his breathing and Taehyung running his fingers through the younger's hair.

"You wanna tell me what's wrong?" Taehyung asks once the younger's breathing finally evens out.

"Later, 'm sleepy."

He dozes off, wonders how he's going to tell Taehyung I'm in love you, that's what's wrong .


 

He’s confused when he wakes up on his bed since he has no recollection of himself -or Taehyung for that matter- leaving their couch.

He's aimlessly scrolling on SNS, mostly to procrastinate facing everyone at lunch, when he hears someone knocking on his door.

It's soft and to the beat of Boy with Luv so it's not difficult to guess who it is.

"How are you feeling?" Jimin asks as he makes himself comfortable on the younger's bed.

"I'm okay."

It doesn't feel like a lie, but it doesn't exactly feel true either.

"That's good," Jimin starts, offers him a reassuring smile, "Do you want to talk about it."

"You probably know."

"Is this about Taehyung?"

Jeongguk almost laughs at the way Jimin still asks despite him knowing, Seokjin had told him that all of them knew, but he knows that's just how the older is. He won't push and he won't assume, he gives you time to decide what you want and need to do. The younger appreciates it.

He could still lie, he knows his hyung would let him, but what was the point?

"Yes."

"So what's got you so upset, I don't think having feelings for someone could make you react like this unless there's something else?"

Jeongguk knows if he tries to explain, it'll just upset him all over again and his throat is in actual pain from the amount of crying he's done so he opts to show him instead. When the pink-haired boy takes the phone he covers himself with a blanket again - another nap wouldn't hurt.

A moment or two passes as he reads the post and Tae’s reply, Jeongguk hears a sharp intake of breath followed by a sad sigh, “I’m sorry Jeongguk, I’m really sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about.”

It’s not like Jimin could change the fact that the person he wanted to be with didn’t feel the same.

“Have you spoken to Taehyung about this?”

“Why the fuck would I do that? So that I can rejected directly too? Yeah no thanks,” he scoffs. Jimin must be out of his goddamn mind.

“Look I just think-”

There’s a knock on the door that interrupts him, “Seokjin wanted me to tell you that lunch is ready.”

When he doesn’t get a response, Yoongi sighs, “And if you guys aren’t down in five, he’s dragging you to the table.”

Jeongguk groans, couldn’t he be allowed to wallow?

He follows Jimin down anyway, sans for Yoongi and Namjoon talking about compositions the table is quiet. But the stares are loud, and he can feel it every time his hyungs send him a look of sympathy and he appreciates them and how much they care, really, but this was too much.

He does notice that Taehyung is absent, but no one else has commented on it so he assumes that they probably know where he was off to. He certainly wasn’t going to ask.


It’s around ten when he starts to worry, Taehyung never leaves that long without at least sending him a message.

Jimin must be a mind reader, “Where did Taehyung go again?”

“He didn’t say, I came into the living room and saw him pull on his shoes and then bolt out the door,” Seokjin replies.

“You didn’t ask him where he was going?”

“I did, he just said he’ll be back later,” Jin tells Namjoon.

Jeongguk reasons that all of them were somehow connected because not a moment later and Taehyung was barreling into the front door.

“Damn Taehyung did you just run a marathon?” Hoseok asks, referring to how out of breath he was.

Taehyung doesn’t answer, doesn’t pay anyone any mind as he makes his way over to the TV. All of them watch as he pulls out his HDMI cable to connect his phone to it.

“Jeongguk, please watch this,” is all he says before moving to the side.

The rest of the group seems to understand that this is private so they say goodnight and go to bed, leaving the two of them alone in the living room.

Jeongguk knows the song as soon as the instrumental starts, it’s Can’t Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. Except that is not Elvis’ voice, it’s a voice he knows and loves - one that rivals Elvis’ in his humble opinion.

It’s Taehyung.

But he doesn’t get to reflect on it because the video starts, it’s edited like one of those old timey movies and it’s in black and white. 

At first he thinks it’s a Bangtan video, or a video showcasing how far they come because the footage in the beginning is of him when he was much younger. 

He sees thirteen year old Jeongguk smile and laugh and cry.

Suddenly though, present day Taehyung appears on screen, “Hi Jeonggukie, you’re probably a little confused but just keep watching, I think you’ll get it. God I remember these times, sometimes I miss the old times, a lot. You were so cute, eyes big and curious - that beautiful beautiful nose that you didn’t like so much at the time. You were so cute and I just wanted to protect you from everything.”

The video then transitions to debut Jeongguk, him being comfortable with the members, becoming more comfortable with himself. And though the videos show him in different places with different people - one thing is constant, Taehyung is always close.

“I remember after one of our first concerts, you were so happy because you really felt like you performed well. I was so happy, I wanted to cry, after seeing you so hard on yourself for so long - hearing you say that, seeing the pride in your eyes? I felt like my entire life was complete, that should’ve been my first hint,” his lips pull up into a smile as he stares at Jeongguk through the screen.

First hint at what? Jeongguk wonders.

Next is more footage of the two of them doing everything from duets to playing videos, Jeongguk recognizes some of the footage from 2016 and suddenly there’s a burst of colour accompanying the scenes. Everything seems more hyper focused on the two of them. It’s just so beautiful.

“This is when realisation struck and I realised that I was, for lack of a better word, fucked,” he seems shy when he says it.

Realisation of what? Jeongguk wants to ask.

But the video continues before he can. This part feels much more intimate, focusing on the way they touch one another (even in the simplest of ways), the way they always turn towards each other when they’re laughing. There’s compilations of Taehyung just staring at Jeongguk with a look in his eye that the younger just can’t place. There’s videos of them cuddled up together and them practicing together. There’s just so much content of the two of them that Jeongguk has to physically stop himself from asking how?

“During this time I was just enjoying us being us, Taehyung and Jeongguk, Jeongguk and Taehyung. Soultwins y’know. But I also couldn’t ignore what was becoming more glaringly obvious with each day.”

What was becoming obvious? Jeongguk is so lost.

There’s more videos following that, much more recent ones too - some of them from their concert stages and Jeongguk knows he probably had to get those from the company. There’s also pictures scattered here and there, selcas that’ll never be seen on SNS and pictures they’ve taken of each other (mostly of Jeongguk). There’s also videos of Jeongguk singing as Taehyung paints in his studio, of Taehyung giving him pigtails as he records melodies, videos of Taehyung talking about how cool he thinks Jeongguk’s tattoos are and so much more.

“Take my hand, my whole life too. For I can’t help falling in love with you, for I can’t help falling in love with you,” Taehyung sings into the camera as the video comes to an end.

“Jeon Jeongguk I’m in love with you, I’ve been in love with you since before I even truly knew what it was.”

Oh.

Oh.

Taehyung was in love with him? No not a question. A fact. Taehyung was in love with him.

Jeongguk is stunned. Shocked. Astounded. Floored.

But he’s also confused, “What about the Weverse post?”

Taehyung shuffles closer, “Is that why you were upset?”

He doesn’t meet his eyes as he nods.

“Look,” he starts, cupping the younger’s cheeks, “I said that because I didn’t know how you felt, and I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable by it. I also think it’s important for us to establish boundaries with the fans but that’s just in general.”

Jeongguk nods, “You did all of this today?”

“Not exactly. I have been working on this for a while, when I realised I wanted to tell you how I felt but then when I heard you say you were in love with me just before you fell asleep I knew I wanted to finish it today.”

He said that, outloud?!?

“It’s a GCF sort of,” Taehyung continues, “The same way you document a certain part of our lives to show that moment, I wanted to show our moment. This little piece of forever we forged into a universe that is timeless. I also did a lot of the editing in your studio, I did this for you but I also wanted to make you a part of it - if that makes sense.”

And then he starts rambling nervously, “I know it’s not as good as any of your videos and that it could’ve been-”

He’s cut off by the soft press of Jeongguk’s lips against his.

Jeongguk thinks about all the dreams he’s had about kissing Taehyung, absolutely none of them come close to the real thing.

His lips are soft and for some reason taste like banana milk and when Jeongguk sucks on his bottom lip he lets out a groan that is just maddening.

“I love you so much,” Jeongguk whispers into his mouth.

“We have a lot to talk about,”  Taehyung says.

“Later, right now let’s not stop doing this,” he tells him, going in for another kiss.


It’s two weeks later when Taehyung asks him to be his boyfriend, officially.

Jeongguk, a little peeved that he beat him to punch smirks devilishly as he responds.

“Get out of your imagination, it’s not good there.”

But then Taehyung pouts and Jeongguk really, really can’t have that.

He pulls him in for a quick peck, “I’d love to be your boyfriend.”