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this is not going 2 end well

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Sunday

14:24

NerdPower has created a chat

NerdPower has added Drama Queen, DoItMyWay, Seductress, Pantastic, LeaveMeAlone, Sci-Fi Freak and TemperOfAWolf to the chat

NerdPower has renamed the chat ‘im bored’

Drama Queen: rly mg?

Pantastic: y just y

LeaveMeAlone: i get making a gc but y add me?

NerdPower: cuz ur part of the group

LeaveMeAlone: who decided that?

DoItMyWay: u know u dont get a choice in the matter rite?

TemperOfAWolf: did u rly make a gc cuz ur bored?

NerdPower: kinda ya

Seductress: with these losers? i thought u had better taste

Sci-Fi Freak: hey!

Drama Queen: like i want 2 be stuck with u

Pantastic: how bout u 2 jst calm down

LeaveMeAlone: this is already a nightmare

Sci-Fi Freak: what do we do here anyway?

NerdPower: idk

NerdPower: nerd out talk abt how life sucks

NerdPower: u know normal teenage stuff

TemperOfAWolf: thats it?

Drama Queen: how do i leave?

Seductress: please do

Drama Queen: or maybe ill stay jst 2 annoy u

DoItMyWay: chick fite!

Pantastic: those 2 r always fighting

TemperOfAWolf: this is not going 2 end well

LeaveMeAlone: u can say that again

 

18:52

NerdPower: guuuys

NerdPower: we have 2 go 2 school tmw

Pantastic: i thought u liked school?

NerdPower: i do but the kids r mean

Sci-Fi Freak: amen!

LeaveMeAlone: i just ignore them

DoItMyWay: who cares what they think

Seductress: ive never had that problm but ily mg so i can sympathise

Drama Queen: ikr sometimes it feels like the hole worlds out 2 get me

Sci-Fi Freak: can relate

DoItMyWay: overdramatic much?

LeaveMeAlone: the world is pretty harsh

Seductress: whats this? Hope mikaelson relating 2 the rest of us? *sarcastic gasp*

LeaveMeAlone: oh shut up


19:11

TemperOfAWolf: wait! dont we have a test tmw?

DoItMyWay: oh shit!!

Sci-Fi Freak: fuuuuck

TemperOfAWolf: were doomed!

Pantastic: did u 3 forget?

Drama Queen: again? lmao

Seductress: sucks 2 b u

TemperOfAWolf: fuck! fuck! fuck!

LeaveMeAlone: u guys better go study asap

Sci-Fi Freak: yep we shoulf!

Sci-Fi Freak: bye!

DoItMyWay: peace out

TemperOfAWolf: later

Drama Queen: boys smh

Pantastic: there so irresponsible

LeaveMeAlone: u got that rite

Seductress: wait… isnt the test next week??

NerdPower:

Pantastic: jfc

Drama Queen: oops

LeaveMeAlone: should we tell them?

Drama Queen: no way! thisll be hilarious! 

Seductress: for once i agree with saltzman

Seductress: itll be funny!

Pantastic: u 2 r horrible people

LeaveMeAlone: well theres nothing we can do about it now

 

21:37

Sci-Fi Freak: ok! im done!

 

22:13

TemperOfAWolf: that was harsh

Sci-Fi Freak: ikr its like the teachers r trying 2 kill us

 

Monday

01:04

DoItMyWay: i hate math

 

01:18

Pantastic: dont we all?

Drama Queen: sleep now!

Pantastic: yea yea

 

05:45

LeaveMeAlone: what were u guys doing up a 1 in the morning?

DoItMyWay: finishing hm

NerdPower: that took u awhile

DoItMyWay: look man math is not my strong suit

LeaveMeAlone: is maths any1s strong suit?

Pantastic: if it is i want there number

DoItMyWay: saame

LeaveMeAlone: imma hop in the shower c u at school

NerdPower: cya

 

05:58

Drama Queen: y must the school make us get up at such an ungodly hour?

DoItMyWay: cuz there sadists who like 2 watch us suffer

Pantastic: honestly yea

 

07:26

Seductress: im getting coffee at the grill u guys want anything?

Drama Queen: cinnamon-spiced latte

LeaveMeAlone: black coffee

Pantastic: peppermint tea please

LeaveMeAlone: the boys say they dont want anything

LeaveMeAlone: there just 2 lazy 2 pick up there phones

Seductress: lol k b there soon

 

10:31

Sci-Fi Freak: wtf!! theres no maths test!!

 

10:47

TemperOfAWolf: WHAT!!!

 

11:26

Drama Queen: lmao!!

Drama Queen: told u guys itd be hilarious!

Sci-Fi Freak: U KNEW

LeaveMeAlone: yea we figured out the test wasnt til next week

TemperOfAWolf: i hate all of u

DoItMyWay: u mean I stayed up late studying for nothin?

Pantastic: at least ull be ready for next week??

 

12:14

Seductress: damn it! i missed the show!!

 

14:09

Sci-Fi Freak: i hate my life

Chapter Text

Wednesday

13:16

group chat ‘im bored’

NerdPower: guys

 

13:18

NerdPower: guuuuys

 

13:21

Seductress: y r u texting in class?

Seductress: dont u have a moral code or some shit

NerdPower: yea but the teacher is just rambling cuz some kid came in late so im bored!!!

Seductress: ur always bored

NerdPower: tru

Drama queen has renamed the chat ‘SHUT UP’

Seductress: really?

Drama Queen: some of us r trying 2 pay attenton

NerdPower: sry liz

Seductress: im not

Drama Queen: if ur gonna b annoying dont do it in the gc

Seductress: whatever

 

13:27

NerdPower: this woman is still yappin

 


16:04

DoItMyWay: yooooo

LeaveMeAlone: what?

DoItMyWay: YOOOOO

Sci-Fi Freak: u make no sense 

DoItMyWay: im not supposed 2

Pantastic: moving on

Pantastic: i think lizzies having an episode…

LeaveMeAlone: is she ok?

Pantastic: if u call pacing the room while planning ways 2 kill a person out loud ok…

Pantastic: then yea shes fine

DoItMyWay: im sorry wat

Pantastic: her and penny had another fite when she cam over for hm

Sci-Fi Freak: well in that case id be concerned if she wasnt pacing and shit

LeaveMeAlone: honestly ur rite

DoItMyWay: wait! Penelope was over at ur place ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Pantastic: shut up! Were just friends!

DoItMyWay: aha

DoItMyWay: and hope and lizzie arent sleeping together

LeaveMeAlone: wait! People think we’re having sex!!

Sci-Fi Freak: u arent??

LeaveMeAlone: NO

Sci-Fi Freak:

Pantastic:

DoItMyWay: awkward

LeaveMeAlone: i hate u guys 

 

19:09

TemperOfAWolf: lan u left ur bag at my place

 

19:14

Sci-Fi Freak: could u bring it 2 school tmw

TemperOfAWolf: np

Drama Queen: u kno private messaging is a thing

TemperOfAWolf: then i wouldnt get 2 annoy u liz

Drama Queen: urg

Drama Queen: y did i ever like u

TemperOfAWolf: cuz im so likeable

Sci-Fi Freak: ur really not

TemperOfAWolf: i thought u were on my side bro!

Sci-Fi Freak: I am but ur still annoying as fuck

Drama Queen: even the thrift store hobbit thinks ur annoying

DoItMyWay: would yall shut up

DoItMyWay: im with my family and they keep complaining bout my phone blowin up

Drama Queen: whatever i have better things 2 do

Sci-Fi Freak: sry

TemperOfAWolf: just turn ur phone off

DoItMyWay: or u could shut up 

DoItMyWay: then i wouldnt need 2

TemperOfAWolf: ok im going

 

Thursday

02:32

Seductress: any1 up?

 

02:41

Seductress: mg

 

02:43

Seductress: jojo?

Drama Queen: would u go 2 sleep?

Seductress: oh its just u

Drama Queen: look satan if u just shut up and go 2 sleep i wouldnt need 2 talk 2 u

Seductress: the fact that ur talking 2 me means ur up 2 so…

Drama Queen: im up bc u blew up my phone so its ur fault im up

Pantastic has changed the chat name to ‘Go. To. Sleep!’

Drama Queen: and now uve woken josie up

Pantastic: u both did actually

Drama Queen: im only up 2 tell the she devil 2 go 2 sleep

Seductress: and in the process woke jojo up

Drama Queen: jojo? rly?

Pantastic: both of u shut up! we have school tmw so get some sleep

Drama Queen: u heard her

Pantastic: u 2 lizzie

Drama Queen: fiiine!

Seductress: only cuz ur asking cutie

Pantastic: what does that even mean?

 

07:49

DoItMyWay: imma skip tdy who wants in?

Drama Queen: u r so irresponsible

Pantastic: u rly shouldnt skip kaleb

Seductress: well im in

LeaveMeAlne: u guys r gonna get in trouble

DoItMyWay: mg u in?

NerdPower: we rly shouldnt…

Seductress: cmon its just 1 day!

NerdPower: … fine

DoItMyWay: sweet

Drama Queen: u guys r so busted

Seductress: r u gonna tell?

DoItMyWay: snitches get stitches

Drama Queen: o i wont tell doesnt mean u wont get busted

LeaveMeAlone: just forget it lizzie

LeaveMeAlone: itll come back 2 bite them sooner or later

 

11:26

NerdPower: so… we got caught

 

13:08

LeaveMeAlone: told u

Chapter Text

Saturday

11:21

group chat ‘Go. To. Sleep!’

Seductress: if u were a supernatural being which would u b?

LeaveMeAlone: wat brought this on?

Seductress: idk im bored

NerdPower: srsly peez theres 2 many 2 choose from

Seductress: fine

Seductress: a witch werewolf or vampire choose out of those 3

TemperOfAWolf: werewolf

Drama Queen: i bet no1 saw that coming

Seductress has changed TemperOfAWolf’s name to ‘ObviousWolf’

DoItMyWay: vamp for me

Seductress has changed DoItMyWay’s name to ‘VampsBeforeTramps’

VampsBeforeTramps: yo u good at this

Seductress: ik

NerdPower: what about u peez?

Seductress: still deciding

Seductress: alrite queen of mean ur up

Drama Queen: and y should i play along with u?

Seductress: cuz i kno ur secret

NerdPower: wat secret

Drama Queen: urg fine!

Drama Queen: a witch 

Seductress has changed Drama Queen’s name to ‘Bitchy witch’

Bitchy witch: i hate u so much

Seductress: next!

NerdPower: another vamp here

VampsBeforeTramps: good choice man

Seductress has changed NerdPower’s name to ‘Baby Vamp’

Baby Vamp: y am i a baby vamp?

Seductress: cuz i feel like ud be 1

Sci-Fi Freak: id b a phoenix!

Bitchy Witch: that wasnt an option garden gnome

Sci-Fi Freak: but I wanna b a phoenix…

Seductress has changed Sci-Fi Freak’s name to ‘risefromtheashes’

Pantastic: i guess ill b a witch…

Seductress has changed Pantastic’s name to ‘The Enchantress’

Bitchy witch: how come I get “bitchy witch” and she gets “enchantress”

Seductress: just cuz

Seductress: hope its ur turn

LeaveMeAlone: do i have 2?

The Enchantress: i feel like hope is a mix of all 3…

Seductress: ik wat u mean

Bitchy witch: shes 2 unique 2 put in2 words…

ObviousWolf: shes a…

risefromtheashes: unicorn!

VampsBeforeTramps: say wat now

risefromtheashes: the only 1 of her kind… like a unicorn

LeaveMeAlone: i feel like u guys r making fun of me

Baby Vamp: no ur just 2 awesome for 1 label 

The Enchantress: shes a mix of all 3 like some kind of hybrid

Bitchy witch: shes a…

Seductress: tribrid!!

VampsBeforeTramps: tribrid

The Enchantress: tribrid!

ObviousWolf: tribrid

LeaveMeAlone: um do i get a choice in this?

Seductress has changed LeaveMeAlone’s name to ‘Mythical Tribrid’

Bitchy witch: fcking perfect

Bitchy witch:

Bitchy witch: I mean the species name thingy…

risefromtheashes: rite…

Baby Vamp: ur turn peez

Seductress: hmm

Seductress has changed their name to ‘MysteriousMagic’

VampsBeforeTramps: so… which creature r u?

MysteriousMagic: a witch obvious

Mythical Tribrid: im sorry wat was the point of this?

MysteriousMagic: no point 

MysteriousMagic: i was just curious

The Enchantress: ofc u were

 

Sunday

04:42

risefromtheashes: wat if humans were just a reality show for aliens?

 

09:37

The Enchantress: wat were u doing up at 4 in the morning thinking about that kinda shit

risefromtheashes: o i didnt sleep

The Enchantress: y not?

Risefromtheashes: idk

The Enchantress: u should rly get some sleep

risefromtheashes: nah im fine

The Enchantress: if u say so

 

12:13

ObviousWolf: seriously lan? u didnt sleep AGAIN!?

 

13:02

Baby Vamp: i went over 2 his house but hed already crashed

ObviousWolf: hes gonna make himself sick

 

13:26

Mythical Tribrid: honestly i cant judge cuz i sleep like 2 hours and run on 6 cups of coffee

Bitchy witch: u srsly need 2 take better care of urself!

Mythical Tribrid: y do u care

Bitchy witch: w-who said i did

Mythical Tribrid: ooook

 

Monday

09:34

VampsBeforeTramps: this chick if yappin on bout who knows wat and im bored as fuck

 

09:40

Bitchy witch: maybe u should try listening instead of texting

VampsBeforeTramps: nah im good

Bitchy witch: y do i even bother

 

11:02

The Entchantress: mg y did I just c u and kaleb sneaking into the science lab?

 

11:13

Baby Vamp: cuz kaleb was caught with his phone in class so now were gonna steal it back

 

11:15

Bitchy witch: he shouldve listend 2 me

Chapter Text

Tuesday

13:11

group chat ‘Go. To. Sleep!' 

risefromtheashes: heeeeelp meeeee!!!

risefromtheashes has renamed the chat ‘GAY PANIC’

MysteriousMagic: i didnt care about ur problem til i saw gay panic but now im hooked

Bitchy witch: ooo i love me a good gay panic

Baby Vamp: dont we all?

Mythical Tribrid: question? r we all queer?

The Enchantress: uhh yes…

Bitchy witch: every1 state ur sexuality! bisexual!

MysteriousMagic: bi

The Enchantress: pan but every1 knows that already

Baby Vamp: gay

VampsBeforeTramps: trans and queer reporting for duty

Mythical Tribrid: no label but probably bi or pan

ObviousWolf: im straight but asexual

Baby Vamp: didnt u have sex with lizzie tho?

ObviousWolf: yea and thats how i realized i was ace

Bitchy witch: ah rude!

risefromtheashes: GUYS!!

Mythical Tribrid: rite whats the problem?

risefromtheashes: JED AKSED ME OIT!!!!!!!!!!!

ObviousWolf: WHHHAAATTT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

VampsBeforeTramps: they grow up so fast

Bitchy witch: the hobbit managed 2 get a date? im impressed

Mystical Tribrid: isnt jed the guys that use 2 bully u?

risefromtheashes: yae byt he iasd srory!!!!

MysteriousMagic: what?

The Enchantress: calm down before u talk

ObviousWolf: i still dont trust that guy

VampsBeforeTramps: yo whatever man hes cool

Baby Vamp: hes rly not that bad once u get 2 kno him

risefromtheashes: hes really not!! hes amazing!!

Bitchy witch: in love much

risefromthashes: but guys i need help!! what do i wear?

risefromtheashes: how do i act?

risefromtheashes: what even happens on a date!?

MysteriousMagic: calm down dude! i got this

MysteriousMagic: whens the date?

risefromtheashes: friday

MysteriousMagic: plenty of time

MysteriousMagic: ok me kaleb and hope will come shopping with u on thursday and we’ll prep u

VampsBeforeTramps: yo y us?

MysteriousMagic: me cuz I have great taste in clothes u bc ur the gay expert

VampsBeforeTramps: tru

MysteriousMagic: and hope cuz she knows how 2 act cool when people r in love with her

Mythical Tribrid: wait what?

MysteriousMagic: ur the only 1 who knows how 2 act chill even when every1s madly in love with u

Mythical Tribrid: what no i dont! no1s in love with me

The Enchantress: ur rly dense hope…

VampsBeforeTramps: even my gay ass has had a crush on u

VampsBeforeTramps: it was for like a day but still

Mytical Tribrid: I uh…. Huh?

Bitchy witch: i think we broke her…

MysteriousMagic: she’ll be fine

MysteriousMagic: so 4pm thursday dont b late u guys

VampsBeforeTramps: dope

risefromtheashes: tysm

 

17:36

Mystical Tribrid: have u all rly had a crush on me at some point?

Bitchy witch: fuckin-

Bitchy witch has changed Mystical Tribrid’s name to ‘Definition Of Oblivious’

Definition Of Oblivious: so thats a yes…

Bitchy witch: jfc YES

Definition Of Oblivious: even u?

Bitchy witch: are you really so dense that you don’t realize I’m fucking in love with you!!!!!

Definition Of Oblivious: wait what?

Bitchy witch: ,,,

Bitchy witch has left the chat

Definition Of Oblivious: LIZZIE!?!?

Definition Of Oblivious: fuck how do i add some1 2 the chat!?

MysteriousMagic has added Bitchy witch to the chat

Bitchy witch: u fucking bitch!!

MysteriousMagic: TALK. TO. HER!!!

Bitchy witch: like im saying anything knowing all u assholes r watching!!!

Definition Of Oblivious: can we private chat??

Bitchy witch:

Definition Of Oblivious: please?

Bitchy witch: urg fine!!

 

17:42

private chat between Bitchy witch and Definition Of Oblivious

Definition Of Oblivious: ur in love with me

Bitchy witch: … I did say that every1 has had a crush on u at some point so…

Definition Of Oblivious: having a crush on some1 and being in love with some1 r 2 different things i may be oblivious but i kno that much

Bitchy witch: yea well…

Definition Of Oblivious: also im pretty sure every1 is over there crush by now but u made it seem like ur in love with me now…

Bitchy witch: w-well

Definition Of Oblivious: am i wrong?

Bitchy witch: no… not exactly

Definition Of Oblivious: can i come over?

Bitchy witch: no way! Josie keeps looking at me from across the room and u being here will only make things worse!

Definition Of Oblivious: then come over here! My aunts r out tonite and my cousins already asleep so itll just be us!

Bitchy witch: but…

Definition Of Oblivious: dont even try 2 come up with an excuse!

Definition Of Oblivious: cmon please?

Bitchy witch: urg fine!

Definition Of Oblivious: ty!

 


18:04

group chat ‘GAY PANIC’

Baby Vamp: yo what happened?

VampBeforeTramps: dk they just went radio silent

MysteriousMagic: jojo do u know?

The Enchantress: well… she left the room about 20 minutes ago and when I asked where she was going all she said was “either 2 meet my doom or die of happiness” so…

risefromtheashes: so she probably went 2 hopes

MysteriousMagic: dont tell me we have 2 wait til tmw!!

The Enchantress: there prolly still working things out

MysteriousMagic: I KEPT HER SECRET AND WHEN IT COMES 2 LITE IM NOT THE 1ST 2 KNO WHAT HAPPENS!?!?!?

Baby Vamp: calm down peez

MysteriousMagic: this is the worst!

VampsBeforeTramps: relax girl nothin stays secret 4 long

MysteriousMagic: I h8 this so much

 

Wednesday

02:47

Bitchy witch has change their name to ‘taken’

Definition Of Oblivious: rly lizzie?

 

07:41

MysteriousMagic: FUCKING FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

Thursday

16:11

group chat ‘GAY PANIC’

MysteriousMagic: yo lanlan hurry up would ya

risefromtheashes: lanlan?

Baby Vamp: lol

Baby Vamp has changed risefromtheashes’s name to ‘LanLan’

VampsBeforeTramps: could u hurry up the girls r getting all emotional

Definition Of Oblivious: we r not

VampsBeforeTramps: rly? 

VampsBeforeTramps: *clears throat* Wait so u actually like me? I thought u hated every1 – hope 

VampsBeforeTramps: yea well as far as peeps go ur not that bad – penny

MysteriousMagic: if u call that emotional u do not want 2 come 2 girls nite

The Enchantress: we dont have girls nite??

MysteriousMagic: we should

VampsBeforeTramps: back 2 the topic at hand hurry up bro i have other things 2 do tdy

LanLan: im omw mom needed help with shit

VampsBeforeTramps: HURRY UP THERE HUGGING!!!!

MysteriousMagic: if u dont stop complaining ill kiss her next time

taken: u keep ur grubby hands off her!

 

16:18

Private chat between taken and The Enchantress

The Enchantress: u dont think pen actually likes hope do u

taken: y r u texting me? ur literally just downstairs

The Enchantress: cuz i dont wanna move

taken: fair

The Enchantress: so do u?

taken: penelope park likes anything that moves besides hopes mine so she better stay away

The Enchantress: yea but…

taken: OMG U LIKE HER

The Enchantress: what!?

taken: U LIKE PENELOPE FUCKING PARK

The Enchantress: i do not!

taken: im coming down there!

The Enchantress: lizzie no!

taken: lizzie yes!

 

Friday

18:31

group chat ‘GAY PANIC’

LanLan: aahhhh hes hrer

VampsBeforeTramps: then stop texin us and go get em!

The Enchantress: u got this!

Baby Vamp: going out with guys is a lot easier then girls just an fyi

taken: i feel i should be offended but hes rite

ObviousWolf: i still dont trust him but ily lan so ill try

LanLan: thanks u guys

LanLan: im going!

MysteriousMagic: the love master taught u so ull do fine!

VampsBeforeTramps: as well as the gay master

Definition Of Oblivious: i dont think i rly did anything but good luck

 

18:43

ObviousWolf: do u think its going alrite?

The Enchantress: they just left like 10 mins ago calm down ralf

ObviousWolf: im just worried

ObviousWolf: jed was horrible 2 him when they 1st met and…

Baby Vamp: relax jed rly has turned over a new leaf trust me!

The Enchantress: hes rite jeds changed

ObviousWolf: ik ik im being over protective im sry

Baby Vamp: dont be bro jed was a jerk u have every rite 2 be suspicious

The Enchantress: and we’ll keep a close eye on him we wont let him hurt landon

ObviousWolf: thanks u guys

 

22:14

LanLan: i think im in love

Definition Of Oblivious: so i take it the d8 went well?

LanLan: it went AMAZING

VampsBeforeTramps: told ya there was nothin 2 worry bout

Baby Vamp: so whered u go?

LanLan: we went bowling then we went back 2 hes place

taken: for a 1st d8 thats the best he could do?

The Enchantress: lizzie

LanLan: u dont get it! The 1st time we ever rly talked was at the bowling ally we ran in2 each other and he apologized and it was rly sweet!

The Enchantress: that is so romantic!

taken: fine i gues thats kinda cute…

VampsBeforeTramps: home boy took u 2 his house on the 1st d8 thats brave

LanLan: it wasnt like that!

Definition Of Oblivious: guys landons demisexual so it mite be a bit soon for that

Baby Vamp: woah rly

The Enchantress: how did u kno that?

Definition Of Oblivious: we used 2 go out remember?

LanLan: anyway we just watched a movie and we may have made out a little…

VampsBeforeTramps: good for u bro

 

Saturday

00:49

MysteriousMagic: c! u cant fail when the love master is on ur side!

Chapter Text

Saturday

18:32

group chat ‘GAY PANIC’

MysteriousMagic: I'm doin' this tonight

LanLan: what?

VampsBeforeTramps: You're probably gonna start a fight

Definition Of Oblivious: srsly u guys?

MysteriousMagic: I know this can't be right

Baby Vamp: Hey baby, come on

LanLan: what r u guys going on about

taken: I am personally offended that u dont kno

VampsBeforeTramps: I loved you endlessly

The Enchantress: When you weren't there for me

Definition Of Oblivious: u 2 josie?

MysteriousMagic: So now it's time to leave and make it alone

LanLan: is this a song?

Definition Of Oblivious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eo-KmOd3i7s

Baby Vamp: I know that I can't take no more

VampsBeforeTramps: It ain't no lie 

Definition Of Oblivious: get ready

taken: I want to see you out that door

Definition Of Oblivious: rly?

LanLan: 4 wat

Definition Of Oblivious: wait 4 it

MysteriousMagic: Baby, bi, bi, bi!!!!!

VampsBeforeTramps: Baby, bi, bi, bi!

Baby Vamp: Baby, bi, bi, bi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Enchantress: Baby, bi, bi, bi!!

taken: Baby, bi, bi, bi!!!!!

Definition Of Oblivious: u done?

MysteriousMagic: yep

taken: I would just like 2 say in very frustrated that the hobbit didnt kno the song

LanLan: sry

Baby Vamp: not that i dont luv a good sing a long but wat brought that on peez?

MysteriousMagic: it was stuck in my head so i thought id get in stuck of all ur heads 2

The Enchantress: we should do a karaoke nite!

Definition Of Oblivious: we should not

MysteriousMagic: cmon ur a great singer!

VampsBeforeTramps: uve heard her sing

Definition Of Oblivious: penenlope!

MysteriousMagic: well we were drunk but yes

taken: y do i not kno about this?

Definition Of Oblivious: bc it was like a year ago! Also like u said we were drunk so how could i be good?

MysteriousMagic: idk hope ur singing voice was wat got me in2 ur bed that nite

Definition Of Oblivious: OMG PENELOPE!!

taken: im sorry what?

The Enchantress: WHAT!?!?

Definition Of Oblivious: WE WERE DRUNK!!!

VampsBeforeTramps: daaaamn

MyteriousMagic: best nite of my life

Baby Vamp: um peez what r u tryin 2 do here?

Taken: start drama obviously!

VampsBeforeTramps renamed the chat ‘Girl Drama’

LanLan: ur only making things worse

 

19:04

VampsBeforeTramps: yo whered every1 go?

The Enchantress: um hope came over 2 our house and her and lizzie went 4 a walk

Baby Vamp: and how r u jo?

The Enchantress: what do u mean? im fine this has nothing 2 do with me…

Baby Vamp:

 

19:06

private chat between Baby Vamp and The Enchantress


Baby Vamp: r u sure ur ok? i kno how u feel about penelope

The Enchantress: whatever I know what shes like she doesnt do romance she does flings

Baby Vamp: still hurts tho rite?

The Enchantress: ofc it does

 

19:19

private chat between Definition Of Oblivious and MysteriousMagic

Definition Of Oblivious: u shouldnt have done that pen

MysteriousMagic: ik…

MysteriousMagic: i really wasnt trying 2 mess with u and lizzie i was trying 2… u kno

Definition Of Oblivious: convince josie that ur no good 4 her so she’d move on bc ur 2 afraid 2 let her in

Definition Of Oblivious: believe me I get 

Definition Of Oblivious: after my parents died i didnt want 2 let any1 in cuz i was afraid of getting hurt

Definition Of Oblivious: but u practically forced ur way in2 my life u didnt give me a choice

Definition Of Oblivious: u let urself in… but josie wont do that penny u have 2 b the 1 2 open up

MysteriousMagic: what if i hurt her?

Definition Of Oblivious: u have 2 take that risk P

MysteriousMagic:

MysteriousMagic: ill think about it

MysteriousMagic: thanks hope

Definition Of Oblivious: youd do the same 4 me

 

Monday

07:23

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

ObviousWolf: i leave for the weekend 2 visit my grandparents and decide 2 unplug thinking everything will be fine!

ObviousWolf: then i come back 2 this?

ObviousWolf: wtf guys!?

 

07:37

LanLan: its ur falut 4 having so much faith in us

 

07:41

VampsBeforeTramps: yo i was just watchin the show

Chapter Text

Monday

23:57

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

taken: 

taken: I would just like 2 say how utterly infuriating it is that she can look so perfect without even trying!

Definition Of Oblivious: lizzie! u promised u wouldnt send that!

MysteriousMagic: damn hope!

The Enchantress: how does she do that?

Definition Of Oblivious: I literally just woke up!

VampsBeforeTramps: its like almost midnite also u r fiiine girl!

Definition Of Oblivious: omg guys stop!

taken: she hasnt slept in like 2 days so i came over 2 force her 2 sleep

taken: it only lasted about 3 hours but ill take what i can get

The Enchantress: ur as bad as landon

Definition Of Oblivious: im still mad about u posting that pic lizzie!

taken: i wanted 2 show every1 how utterly perfect u r and how much i h8 it!

MysteriousMagic has changed Definition Of Oblivious’s name to ‘Utterly Perfect’

Utterly Perfect: i h8 u

MysteriousMagic: luv u 2

Utterly Perfect: im leaving

taken: she just walked out of the room

The Enchantress: ur still with her?

taken: i was but she just left

taken: pretty sure she just locked herself in the bathroom

VampsBeforeTramps: for real tho id do her

The Enchantress: arent u gay?

VampsBeforeTramps: im 96% gay the other 4% of me is all girl power

MysteriousMagic: would just like 2 say she is really good in bed and I would pay a million $ 2 do it again

taken: stop talking about my girlfriend!

VampsBeforeTramps has changed taken’s name to ‘Jealous’

Jealous: i am not!

VampsBeforeTramps: uhuh and im white

Jealous: im going 2 find hope!

MysteriousMagic: baaii

The Enchantress: i think u guys upset her…

 

Tuesday

00:09

private chat between Jealous and Utterly Perfect

Jealous: ur not responding 2 me banging on the door so will u respond 2 my texts?

 

00:14

Jealous: y do i hear crying?

 

00:17

Jealous: i will bust this door down if i have to hope!

 

00:34

Jealous: ur aunts came back and told me 2 leave?? I hope ur ok

Jealous: just call if u need anything… I love you

 

01:03

Utterly Perfect: I’m really sorry I flaked Lizzie you didn’t do anything wrong I swear

Utterly Perfect: I get like this sometimes I’m really sorry

Jealous: ur using proper grammar and shit so it must be pretty serious

Utterly Perfect: your still up?

Jealous: i was 2 worried about u 2 sleep

Jealous: and should i use proper grammar 2 cuz i feel rly out of place here?

Utterly Perfect: lol no ur fine

Jealous: what happened back there hope?

Utterly Perfect: um… could we call? This isn’t something I feel like explaining over text…

Jealous: of course!

 

01:05


a call between Jealous and Utterly Perfect started

 

02:19

a call between Jealous and Utterly Perfect ended

 

group chat 'Girl Drama'

10:04

The Enchantress: has any1 seen hope tdy

Jealous: shes not coming

LanLan: y did something happen?

Baby Vamp: its not like hope 2 miss school

Jealous: no idea she just said she wasnt coming

 

10:09

private chat between Jealous and Utterly Perfect

Utterly Perfect: thanks for covering 4 me

Jealous: dont worry about it and if u ever need anything im here

Utterly Perfect: thank you lizzie

 

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

11:21

VampsBeforeTramps: somebody save me from Mr whatshisfaces lecture!!

LanLan: maybe try listening for a change?

VampsBeforeTramps: fuck this shit im out

Baby Vamp: did ya do that on purpose?

VampsBeforeTramps: … i rly dont kno

ObviousWolf has changed VampsBeforeTramps’s name to ‘FuckThisShitImOut’

LanLan: lmao

FuckThisShitImOut: for real tho im leavin mg u in

Baby Vamp: last time i skipped with u we got caught so no thanks

FuckThisShitImOut: whatever man peace out

ObviousWolf: who wants 2 bet hes gonna get caught?

 

16:22

MysteriousMagic: who wants 2 come down 2 the grill with me?

The Enchantress: ill come

Baby Vamp: sure

ObviousWolf: sounds like fun

LanLan: i rly want a milkshake so im in

Jealous: pass

FuckThisShitImOut: I got giving detention so im out

ObviousWolf: u got caught hah?

FuckThisShitImOut: fuck u

MysteriousMagic: is hope still radio silent?

Jealous: not every1 can be on there phone 24:7

MysteriousMagic: u talking about urself again lizzie?

Jealous: u guys have fun at ur little hang out sess

MysteriousMagic: we will now that ur not coming

 

18:01

The Enchantress: never again

LanLan: that was the worst thing thats ever happened 2 me

Baby Vamp: y god y!

 

18:04

FuckThisShitImOut: damn what the fuck happened 2 u guys?

 

18:26

Jealous: whatever happened im glad i wasnt apart of it

Jealous: i knew it was a good idea not 2 go

Chapter Text

Wednesday

07:23

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

FuckThisShitImOut: so we dont go 2 school with awkward tension in the air would some1 mind tellin me what in the name of god happened ysa

Jealous: josie already told me the very… interesting story of what happened

FuckThisShitImOut: well some1 tell me!

Baby Vamp: penelope drugged us

FuckThisShitImOut: say wat now?

MysteriousMagic: ok I did not “drug u” I simply didnt tell u I put alcohol in ur drinks

TheEnchantress: i will never forgive u! 

MysteriousMagic: cmon jojo u were adorable!

FuckThisShitImOut: what happened exactly?

Baby Vamp: apparently when josie gets drunk she gets clingy

LanLan: and possessive. she was following penelope around everywhere

Baby Vamp: and when she tried 2 talk 2 the barista (who was like a 40 year old white dude) she got really possessive and told him to and I quote “fuck the fuck off bc that pussy is mine!”

Jealous: and u guys call me jealous

FuckThisShitImOut: little josie swore that much in 1 sentence! im impressed

ObviousWolf: meanwhile lan was trying 2 pretend he didnt kno us so he full on went 2 some random girls table and sat down and started a convo with her

ObviousWolf: she was about 2 call the cops but mg saved him just in time

MysteriousMagic: u guys r horrible drunks

LanLan: IT WAS UR FAULT!!!!

The Enchantress: also apparently ralf isnt affected by alcohol??

ObviousWolf: I just have a high tolerance

FuckThisShitImOut: wat about u mg? any crazy shit happen?

Baby Vamp:

LanLan: u kno how ralf said he saved me? He didnt. He sat down with us and told the woman “dont worry girl landons gay ass has a bf so he aint gonna try raping u or nothing”

Baby Vamp: now were banned from the grill for a month and we charged with community service for 2 weeks

FuckThisShitImOut: damn

MysteriousMagic: now there all blaming me can u believe it

Jealous: yes bc its ur fault!!

MysteriousMagic: whatever

 

07:53

Utterly Perfect: i just cant leave u guys alone can i?

MysteriousMagic: well look whos back from the dead!

FuckThisShitImOut: i didnt think we were gonna cya again mikaelson

LanLan: u coming 2 school today?

Baby Vamp: I missed the sound of ur voice

Utterly Perfect: ok so… i was never dead, i was only gone for a day, yes but ill be a bit late and u cant here my voice over text
 
MysteriousMagic: fuck i missed u…

Utterly Perfect: again was only gone for a day pen

FuckThisShitImOut: yea but i dont think uve ever missed school so even missin 1 day is weird for u

Baby Vamp: hurry up and get 2 school so I can here ur beautiful voice 

Utterly Perfect: ur so weird

Utterly Perfect: my aunts calling me but ill c u guys soon

Baby Vamp: bye!

LanLan: cya

 

20:05

The Enchantress: leave me alone!

LanLan: ooook

ObviousWolf: did we do something?

The Enchantress: o sry wrong guys wrong chat!

Jealous: is some1 bothering u cuz i will kill them

The Enchantress: just this guy who cant take a hint its nothing serious

MysteriousMagic: what!? Give me his number!

The Enchantress: no pen its fine rly

 

20:07

private chat between Jealous and MysteriousMagic

MysteriousMagic: i need ur help

Jealous: um y r u texting me satan?

MysteriousMagic: bc josie mite not think its a big deal but this guy could be trouble

MysteriousMagic: and as much as i hate u i kno u love josie so help me get his number

Jealous: dont u think ur being over dramatic it could be just some guy who has a creepy ass crush on her

MysteriousMagic: im not willing 2 take that chance r u?

Jealous:

Jealous: fine ill look in2 it but no promises evil 1!

MysteriousMagic: good enough

Jealous: i still hate u tho btw

MysteriousMagic: well duh

Chapter Text

Thursday

19:24

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

Baby Vamp: kaleb josie landon! Have i got some new for u!

FuckThisShitImOut: what up

Baby Vamp: u kno the talent show

LanLan: uh the 1 that happened like 4 months ago?

Baby Vamp: yea! They uploaded ur performance 2 youtube

The Enchantress: they did what?

FuckThisShitImOut: whos they?

Baby Vamp: the local tv studio

Jealous: I was in the performance 2! which means im gonna be famous!

Utterly Perfect: no offence babe but i dont think this is about u

Jealous: urg fine! Congrats jo!

ObviousWolf: but lan wasnt even in the talent show???

Baby Vamp: they said he gave them footage of him singing i think?

LanLan: omg i completely forgot about that!

FuckThisShitImOut: was footage?

Baby Vamp: hang on ill show u all 3 of them

 

19:31

Baby Vamp: josie- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARRWML8utAE

Baby Vamp: kaleb- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDNUa7Y4T4A

Baby Vamp: landon- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6PhkIq3Cbk&t=4s

 

19:37

MysteriousMagic: way 2 go jojo

Baby Vamp: any1 else c the split second liz and pen smiled at each other! ground breaking discovery

Jealous: y is landon singing 2 hope?

LanLan: uh cuz this was when we were together

Jealous: ur not a very good singer hobbit

LanLan: gee thanks

Baby Vamp: rlly im digging it

MysteriousMagic: dont hate just cuz ur jealous

Jealous: I. Am not. Jealous!

MysteriousMagic: if u say so

FuckThisShitImOut: how come no1s talking about how fucking talented I am?

 

Friday

03:59

LanLan: is any1 else up

Utterly Perfect: im pretty much always up

LanLan: what im getting is we both have horrible sleeping patterns

Utterly Perfect: we did always use 2 stay up talking all nite

Utterly Perfect: but we probably shouldnt talk in the gc bc if we wake lizzie up she will kill us both

 

04:01

private chat between LanLan and Utterly Perfect

LanLan: im guessing u werent at school yda bc it happened again?

Utterly Perfect: yep

Utterly Perfect: i also told lizzie

LanLan: does that mean i dont have 2 come 2 ur rescue everytime ur aunts arent available 

Utterly Perfect: shut up ur the 1 that told me 2 call u!

LanLan: ik im just joking u can call me anytime

LanLan: tho i dont think lizzie would like that

Utterly Perfect: shes just insecure

Utterly Perfect: but im not gonna let her control my life

Utterly Perfect: ur my friend past relationship aside i dont want 2 lose u

LanLan: and u wont

LanLan: just cuz were not together doesnt mean i dont care about u

Utterly Perfect: hey ur the 1 that broke up with me

LanLan: yes bc im 2 gay 4 u

Utterly Perfect: lol I thought u were pan

LanLan: I am but more gay then straight and u r way 2 female 

Utterly Perfect: that doesnt even make any sense!

Utterly Perfect: doesnt breaking up w/ some1 cuz of there gender kinda defeat the purpose of being pan??

LanLan: well yea but im not supposed 2 make sense

Utterly Perfect: ok im leaving

LanLan: I LOVE U

Utterly Perfect: uhuh sure

LanLan: HOPE TELL ME U LOVE ME!!!!

Utterly Perfect: bye!

LanLan: but hope my love…

 

06:52

group chat 'Girl Drama’

ObviousWolf: do u 2 ever sleep

LanLan: nope

Utterly Perfect: i run purely on caffeine

ObviousWolf: im actually starting 2 worry bout u 2

LanLan: more importantly HOPE WONT TELL ME SHE LOVES ME!!!!!!!!!!

The Enchantress: lmao what

Utterly Perfect: he told me I was “2 female” whatever that means and then told me he loved me and tried 2 force me 2 say it back

Baby Vamp: yo when was this?

LanLan: at like 4 in the morning

LanLan: it was late nite bonding

Utterly Perfect: it was him annoying the crap out of me

LanLan: y dont u love me?

The Enchantress: u guys have a rly weird relationship

ObviousWolf: ikr

 

06:56

private chat between Jealous and The Enchantress

The Enchantress: lizzie r u ok u just stormed out of the room?

The Enchantress: there just joking around u kno

 

07:17

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

MysteriousMagic: urg i want coffee!

FuckThisShitImOut: then make coffee

MysteriousMagic: i want coffee from the grill!!

Utterly Perfect: u should of thought about that before u got urself banned

MysteriousMagic: hope get me coffee!!

Utterly Perfect: no way!

 

09:07

Baby Vamp: peez wanted me 2 tell u that she rly wanted coffee from the grill so she disguised herself but the disguise fell of and they recognised her so now shes done at the police station

 

11:18

The Enchantress: i- 

The Enchantress: hu-

The Enchantress: what? 

Chapter Text

Friday

15:33

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

Utterly Perfect: any1 else notice that lizzie was ignoring me all day?

MysteriousMagic: sounds like a win in my book

Baby Vamp: u do kno shes in the chat rite?

Utterly Perfect: was kinda hoping she would yell at me for not realizing her presence or whatever

Utterly Perfect: at least she’d talk 2 me then

ObviousWolf: whatd u do?

Utterly Perfect: idk! Apperently I am fucking oblivious so some1 tell me please!

Baby Vamp: josie

Baby Vamp: lizzie tells josie everything

Baby Vamp: ask josie

MysteriousMagic: she 2 is in the chat u dweeb

Baby Vamp: yea but shes not gonna talk with us (and lizzie) around

 

15:37

private chat between The Enchantress and Utterly Perfect

Utterly Perfect: do u kno?

The Enchantress: idk wat ur talking about

Utterly Perfect: u kno we can tell when ur reading the gc rite?

The Enchantress: ok doesnt mean im going 2 tell u

Utterly Perfect: how am i supposed 2 fix something if u wont tell me whats wrong

The Enchantress: its not ur problem 2 fix!

Utterly Perfect: whos is it? urs? bc it seems 2 always be urs

The Enchantress: im her twin! im the 1 that loves her most

Utterly Perfect: im not doubting that jo but not every problem she has is urs 2 fix

The Enchantress:

The Enchantress: she doesnt think ur taking her serious

Utterly Perfect: what y?

The Enchantress: bc of penelope and landon

Utterly Perfect: r u serious? 

The Enchantress: u should come over… talk it out in personal

Utterly Perfect: what changed ur mind?

The Enchantress: ur rite this isnt my problem 2 fix

 

15:42

Group chat 'Girl Drama'

The Enchantress has kicked Jealous out of the group

MysteriousMagic: yes finally!

FuckThisShitImOut: is there more… girl drama!

LanLan: ur not done with that?

Baby Vamp: this is kaleb were talking bout here

ObviousWolf: truuuu

The Enchantress: guys shut up! lizzies asking y i kicked her out we have 2 be quick

MysteriousMagic: or we could just kick her out for good?

The Enchantress: hope is on her way over but I didnt tell lizzie so just play it cool!

LanLan: im sorry whats going on exactly?

The Enchantress: lizzies jealous hope is oblivious u kno the usual! i just wanted 2 let u kno

The Enchantress: when lizzie comes back shes either gonna be rly happy or really heartbroken so beware!

ObviousWolf: got it

FuckThisShitImOut: either way itll be a good show

The Enchantress has deleted 13 messages from the chat 

The Enchantress has added Jealous to the chat

Jealous: just what on earth were u bitches talking about that u dont want me 2 kno about!!

MysteriousMagic: we were plotting ways 2 kill u. we missed our weekly meeting so we had 2 have it now

Jealous: I h8 every single 1 of u!

 

16:02

private chat between Jealous and The Enchantress

Jealous: I am going 2 kill u

The Enchantress: the is for ur own good liz

Jealous: I hate u!

The Enchantress: luv u 2

 

16:57

group chat ‘Girl Drama’

Jealous has renamed themselves ‘heartbroken’

Baby Vamp: o no did it not go well

MysteriousMagic: did hope inevitably break ur heart?

heartbroken: uh no she wont get me food

Utterly Perfect: i dont wanna get up anymore then u do

heartbroken: wait how did u guys kno about that?

LanLan:

ObviousWolf:

FuckThisShitImOut: well…

heartbroken: JOSETTE 

The Enchantress: sorry…

Utterly Perfect has changed The Enchantress’s name to ‘Matchmaker’

heartbroken: HOPE ANDREA MIKAELSON

Utterly Perfect: what shes good at what she does

MysteriousMagic: so jojo who u gonna matchmake next… us perhaps

Matchmaker: im good thanks

 

Saturday

09:05

FuckThisShitImOut has changed the chat name to ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

ObviousWolf: gettin in 2 the holiday spirit i c

LanLan: fuck yes!

MysteriousMagic: christmas sing along!

Utterly Perfect: noooo

MysteriousMagic: yeeeees

FuckThisShitImOut: I don't want a lot for Christmas

Utterly Perfect: nope nope nope

Matchmaker: There is just one thing I need

LanLan: I don't care about the presents

heartbroken: at least he knows this 1

MysteriousMagic: Underneath the Christmas tree

Baby Vamp: I don't need to hang my stocking

heartbroken: There upon the fireplace

Utterly Perfect: y do u guys like 2 make me suffer?

ObviousWolf: Santa Claus won't make me happy

MysteriousMagic: ur turn hopey

Utterly Perfect: im good thanks

FuckThisShitImOut: do it

Baby Vamp: do it

heartbroken: do it

LanLan: do it

Utterly Perfect: i h8 all of u

Matchmaker: pleeeaaase

Utterly Perfect:

Utterly Perfect: With a toy on Christmas Day

Baby Vamp: eeeehhhh

MysteriousMagic: thats my girl!

Utterly Perfect: just keep going

FuckThisShitImOut: I just want you for my own

Matchmaker: More than you could ever know

LanLan: Make my wish come true

MysteriousMagic: All I want for Christmas iiiissss…

Baby Vamp: YOUUUU

heartbroken: yooouuuu

ObviousWolf: youuu

Utterly Perfect: i did 1 line im not doing another

MysteriousMagic: we r having an irl christmas sing-a-long and u r participating and then u and the queen of mean will bang bc no1 can resist u after hearing u sing

Utterly Perfect: PENELOPE

Chapter Text

Sunday

12:16

private chat between heartbroken and MysteriousMagic

heartbroken: update: josie wouldnt spill anything so I stole her phone when she was helping mom with dinner and that guy is a total creep!

MysteriousMagic: u take pics?

heartbroken: ah ofc

heartbroken: [creepyassdick.jpg]

heartbroken: there r a lot more but u get the point

MysteriousMagic: y doesnt she just leave

heartbroken: dont ask me she probably thinks she’ll b the mean 1 if she does u kno how josie can b

MysteriousMagic: damn it jojo

MysteriousMagic: how am i supposed 2 protect her when she wont protect herself

heartbroken: we can talk about ur completely obvious and very disturbing feelings about my sister later

heartbroken: rite now we need 2 protect her from mr creepy

MysteriousMagic: ok yea fine

MysteriousMagic: but later rite now i have a study d8

heartbroken: uh with who?

MysteriousMagic: with ur sister obviously! she told me not 2 call it a d8 but it totally is

heartbroken: uh gross!

MysteriousMagic: later!

 

15:41

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

FuckThisShitImOut: guess who has a d8

Baby Vamp: rly who?

FuckThisShitImOut: roman

ObviousWolf: hopes ex?

LanLan: never liked that guy

MysteriousMagic: hope? Any feelings getting stirred up?

Utterly Perfect: y would i have feelings getting stirred up p? Roman and i d8ed like 3 years ago

MysteriousMagic: ik i was hoping 2 make lizzie jealous

heartbroken: wouldnt work. Honestly i would leave her 4 roman so i wouldnt blame her if feelings go “stirred up”

Utterly Perfect: gee thanks

Baby Vamp: honestly that guy is fucking amazing!

ObviousWolf: hes hot thats 4 sure. im straight and even i can c that

LanLan: still dont like him

Matchmaker: hes rly sweet tho y dont u like him landon?

Utterly Perfect: bc hes an insecure lil bean who thought i was going 2 leave him 4 roman

Utterly Perfect: and hes feelings have just followed him throughout time

Baby Vamp: that was very… observant of u hope

Baby Vamp: but damn every1s getting laid but me

ObviousWolf: im not

Matchmaker: neither am i

Utterly Perfect: add me 2 the club bc lizzie wants 2 wait

Utterly Perfect: i mean its not that big of a deal but still im in the club

heartbroken: I have learnt that when u rush in2 sex people do crazy things lie dump u on ur birthday! so…

ObviousWolf: i said i was sorry!

Utterly Perfect: like i said unlike these sex driven creatures its not that big of a deal

Utterly Perfect: ofc I want 2 but im not ready until ur ready

MysteriousMagic: be sappy in private would ya

 

18:28

LanLan: What’s this? Some kind of… group chat?

FuckThisShitImOut: u on drugs or something bro

ObviousWolf: u feelin ok lan?

LanLan: I’m feeling fine. Just thought I’d see who my little brother spends his time with

Matchmaker: brother?

Utterly Perfect: o no

Utterly Perfect: no nope nope NO

Utterly Perfect: i am not dealing with this

Utterly Perfect has left the chat

FuckThisShitImOut: um ok what?

LanLan: I’m guessing that was Hope

heartbroken has added Utterly Perfect to the chat

heartbroken: u better tell us what the hell is going on rite now hope mikaelson!

Utterly Perfect: if i were u i would leave while u still can

Matchmaker: ok now im rly confused…

LanLan: My name is Clarke, I’m Landon’s older, and better looking, brother and Hope and I have a bit of a bumpy history

ObviousWolf: dont tell me u fell for her?

Matchmaker: we’ve all been there

heartbroken: let me guess? she left u for the hobbit and now u h8 ur brother and hope

LanLan: Listen I don’t know what you high schoolers are going on about but Hope and I have never banged

Utterly Perfect: thank god

FuckThisShitImOut: then what happened 2 make her h8 u so much

FuckThisShitImOut: i mean its pretty easy but still

LanLan: Hope here, left me to die

Utterly Perfect: he’s being overdramatic i simply left him across the country with no money and no way to get home 

ObviousWolf: wait what

Utterly Perfect: only bc! he literally tried 2 kill me

LanLan: Now who’s being overdramatic

LanLan: I just tricked you into going down an alleyway

Utterly Perfect: THEY HAD GUNS U PSYCHOPATH

FuckThisShitImOut: wow did hope just yell?

Matchmaker: thats a 1st

heartbroken: wait…

heartbroken: omg

ObviousWolf: what?

heartbroken: Whoever you are you better stay the hell away from my girlfriend or you’ll have to deal with me and I can be very scary when I want to be!

FuckThisShitImOut: daamn white girl

Matchmaker: she used proper grammar... this cant be good

 

18:44

private chat between heartbroken and Utterly Perfect

heartbroken: stay where u r im coming over!

Utterly Perfect: no lizzie im fine

heartbroken: this is none negotiable hope! 

Utterly Perfect: ur gonna come no matter what i say arent u?

heartbroken: yes

Utterly Perfect: thanks lizzie

 

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

19:06

LanLan: he didnt

ObviousWolf: yo lan is that rly u this time?

LanLan: wheres hope

Matchmaker: um well lizzie went over 2 her house so im guessing at home??

LanLan: lizzies with her? ok thats good

FuckThisShitImOut: mind tellin us whats going on?

LanLan: its not my place 2 say

Matchmaker: hopes ok tho rite?

LanLan: lizzies with her so she should be fine

 

22:52

Baby Vamp: yo what the hell happened?

MysteriousMagic: u turn ur phone of for 1 evening 2 get some studying done (mgs idea not mine) and return 2 find out world war 3 started wtf u guys!

Chapter Text

Monday

15:42

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

ObviousWolf: any1 else rly confused?

FuckThisShitImOut: u mean about that science test we did today or the fact that hope landon and lizzie r acting hella weird

LanLan: funny thing about a gc

LanLan: when ur talking about other people in the gc they can also read it!

Baby Vamp: then tell us wats goin on

LanLan: i already told u! its not my place 2 say

Matchmaker: guys maybe u should just leave it?

FuckThisShitImOut: do u kno wats goin on? lizzie does tell u everything

Matchmaker: no she didnt tell me and I didnt ask bc its none of our business

Baby Vamp: maybe shes rite guys

Baby Vamp: if it was that important hope wouldve told us by now

ObviousWolf: or maybe she doesnt want us 2 worry! u kno how hope can b 

FuckThisShitImOut: well whatever when yall decide what we’re gonna do call me

Matchmaker: just leave it alone guys

 

17:24

heartbroken: u guys suck at secret convos

Matchmaker: srry lizzie

heartbroken: ur the only 1 im not mad at jo

heartbroken: the rest of u r in for it!

Baby Vamp: please god! save me!!

LanLan: what did i do?

heartbroken: ur the reason they kno somethings up in the 1st place!

LanLan: how

heartbroken: u said and i quote “its not my place 2 say” meaning! that there is indeed something 2 say

LanLan: What!?

Utterly Perfect: lizzie its fine

heartbroken: u sure?

Utterly Perfect: no but they deserve 2 kno

Baby Vamp: deserve 2 kno what?

Utterly Perfect: meet me in the town square at 8?

Utterly Perfect: and make sure the others r there. this isnt something i want 2 explain twice

Matchmaker: ok if ur sure… we’ll be there

 

17:28

private chat between heartbroken and Utterly Perfect

heartbroken: r u 100% sure about this??

Utterly Perfect: yes! they deserve 2 kno

heartbroken: if ur sure then

Utterly Perfect: i am

 

17:29

private chat between LanLan and Utterly Perfect

LanLan: u sure about this

Utterly Perfect: geez the 2 of u need 2 calm down

LanLan: were just worried

Utterly Perfect: i kno but u dont need 2 be im fine promise

LanLan: ok ok

 

19:09

private chat between MysteriousMagic and Utterly Perfect

MysteriousMagic: karaoke nite. friday. u in?

Utterly Perfect: no

MysteriousMagic: karaoke nite will make u feel better!

Utterly Perfect: no it will not

Utterly Perfect: in fact itll make me feel 10 times worse

MysteriousMagic: cmon i even have song choices for u!

Utterly Perfect: u mean i dont even get 2 choose the song?

MysteriousMagic: well ull get 2 choose out of 3…

Utterly Perfect: no way in hell

MysteriousMagic: cmon! I’ll owe u!

Utterly Perfect: … ok i’ll do it. on 1 condition 

MysteriousMagic: hit me

Utterly Perfect: at this karaoke nite ur so excited for u have 2 sing a love song 2 josie

MysteriousMagic:

MysteriousMagic: u kno wat i changed my mind! who needs karaoke anyway?

Utterly Perfect: oh no! we’re doing it! 

Utterly Perfect: and u have 2 make it very clear ur singing 2 her and only her.

MysteriousMagic: ur enjoying this

Utterly Perfect: paybacks a bitch

MysteriousMagic: FINE

Utterly Perfect: c u friday

 

19:17

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

MysteriousMagic: listen up gang!

MysteriousMagic: i have convinced the hope mikaelson! 2 do karaoke w/ us

MysteriousMagic: it was at a cost… but ive done it!

FuckThisShitImOut: woop woop!

LanLan: i have 2 go pick out a song!

Baby Vamp: i- i didnt think this day would ever come!

ObviousWolf: wats the cost?

Utterly Perfect: oh ull c

Matchmaker: this is gonna be fun… and chaotic 

heartbroken: it usually is with these idiots

MysteriousMagic: get ready 2 orgasm lizzie!

Utterly Perfect: PENELOPE!!

 

Tuesday

06:32

heartbroken has changed their name to ‘CandyCaneHigh’

Baby Vamp: lmao wat?

Matchmaker: she found a bunch of candy canes when she got up at 4 in the morning 2 get a drink and now shes got a candy cane high

Utterly Perfect: dont come 2 school high

CandyCaneHigh: but there so good

Matchmaker: she literally ate the whole packet

Baby Vamp: b safe liz

Utterly Perfect: yea 

Utterly perfect: candy canes r serious stuff

 

06:16

MysteriousMagic: ok so… i want 2 make fun of u lizzie but honestly who doesnt love a good candy cane high?

Chapter Text

Tuesday

16:49

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

LanLan: u kno what i h8? homophobes 

Baby Vamp: ikr! there the worst!

MysteriousMagic: how bout we gather all the queers in the world and lock all the homophobes up!

Utterly Perfect: does that make us any better then them?

Matchmaker: hopes rite. anyway did something happen landon

LanLan: I was out with jed and these guys from school saw us and jeds not out yet so…

FuckThisShitImOut: there gonna out him arent they?

Utterly Perfect: changed my mind but instead of locking them up lets kill them

MysteriousMagic: fuck yea!

CandyCaneHigh: people call me crazy. people r rite

CandyCaneHigh: lets do it

Baby Vamp: im a pacifist but im rlly mad rite now so im in

Matchmaker: srsly u guys?

FuckThisShitImOut: or we could come up with another way?

ObviousWolf: is it just me or did kaleb sound kinda reasonable there

 FuckThisShitImOut: 1st of all fuck u

FuckThisShitImOut: and 2nd i never said we were gonna let them off the hook

Mysteriousmagic:

CandyCaneHigh: go on…

FuckThisShitImOut: well were gonna need some dirt on these guys

Utterly Perfect: u kno blackmail is illegal rite?

Obvious Wolf: they hurt landon so i dont rlly care if its illegal do u?

Matchmaker: i guess its better then killing them…

Baby Vamp: so who was it exactly?

LanLan: who do u think? connor and his puppets

Obvious Wolf: of fucking course!

FuckThisShitImOut: ok then we’ll split in2 teams

FuckThisShitImOut: me mg and rafael will go after connor himself

FuckThisShitImOut: lizzie hope penelope and josie u go after dana cuz lets face it shes almost worse then he is

LanLan: what about me? there going after my boyfriend u kno

FuckThisShitImOut: meaning theyll be suspicious of u

LanLan: theyll be suspicious of all of us!

FuckThisShitImOut: dana wont be suspicious of penelope she’ll distract her while the other girls find dirt

FuckThisShitImOut: us boys r on the football team w/ connor he’ll be suspicious of rafael since hes so close w/ landon mg cant lie 2 save his life i on the other hand am great at it so ill be the distraction and the snoop

Utterly perfect: woah

MysteriousMagic: jesus that was amazing

Matchmaker: uve actually thought this through

FuckThisShitImOut: listen hoes im rly fucking good at schemes

CandyCaneHigh: ok then… 

ObviousWolf: so when do we start?

FuckThisShitImOut: tmw at morning break

Baby Vamp: u want us 2 do this in 20 mins!?

FuckThisShitImOut: well they will get suspicious if we talk 2 them 2 long

CandyCaneHigh: question y dont we wait til there at practice? We wouldnt even have 2 distract them

Obvious Wolf: our team has practice as well

Utterly Perfect: and jo and I have student council on wednesdays

FuckThisShitImOut: leaving only u and penelope left

CandyCaneHigh: urg fine! we’ll do it during break

LanLan: ty guys 

 

18:23

private chat between MysteriousMagic and Utterly Perfect

MysteriousMagic: ok so i have 3 songs for u 2 choose out of for friday

MysteriousMagic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBDHnPg1qh4

MysteriousMagic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uk6RS7KWF2U

MysteriousMagic: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0vH9FjGZ_Oc

MysteriousMagic: listen and choose 1 my darling

 

18:34

Utterly Perfect: penelope y r these all rly sad and depressing songs?

MysteriousMagic: uh cuz i want u 2 have a mental breakdown duh

Utterly Perfect: jfc my best friend is a sadist

MysteriousMagic: no i just… want u 2 stop pretending ur ok all the time

Utterly Perfect: what r u talking about

MysteriousMagic: the other day u let us in for the 1st time ever and u admitted u werent ok

MysteriousMagic: u should admit it more often

Utterly perfect: so y did u choose the songs out for me? doesnt that kinda defeat the purpose?

MysteriousMagic: i chose songs that i think represent u

MysteriousMagic: also! i spent hours on yt 2 find these songs so be grateful bitch

Utterly Perfect: ok fine! ill choose 1

MysteriousMagic: yeees

Utterly perfect: but u should start looking for ur own song 2 sing 2 a certain brunette

MysteriousMagic: urg dont remind me!

Utterly perfect: thanks P ily… even if u r a asshole

MysteriousMagic: ily2… even if u r a bitch who doesnt kno how feelings work

 

22:16

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

LanLan: so um…

LanLan has added Jed to the chat

CandyCaneHigh: u didnt just…

Matchmaker: he did

MysteriousMagic: u do kno ur supposed 2 ask the rest of us rite?

Baby Vamp: rule 1! dont add peeps 2 the chat without asking the rest of us! everybody knows this

Utterly Perfect: luckily raf goes 2 sleep at 10

CandyCaneHigh: that was only 18 mins ago

MysteriousMagic: we sure hes asleep?

Baby Vamp: i sure hope so...

Jed: im rly sry for dropping in like this its just landon told me wat u doing for me and i just wanted 2 say thank u

FuckThisShitImOut: hold up is he usin that sorta language thinkin were friends

Matchmaker: we arent doing it for u

Utterly Perfect: dont think we’ve forgotten about last year

CandyCaneHigh: landon may be a sock puppet but hes 1 of us and as the saying goes u mess with 1 of us u mess with all of us

MysteriousMagic: yes u may be hot 

MysteriousMagic: yes i helped landon get ready for ur 1st d8

MysteriousMagic: and YES u may smell amazing!

Baby Vamp: ok peez getting off topic

LanLan: guys could u lay off!

Jed: no its ok i deserve it

Jed: listen im rly srry with the way I treated landon last year. I dont deserve ur forgiveness but at least believe me when i say i truly care about landon

FuckThisShitImOut: hope rafael isnt here so u kno landon best its ur call

Utterly Perfect: there r some rules

Jed: anything

Utterly Perfect: number 1 u have 2 make sure its ok with rafael 1st if not u leave

Jed: understood

Utterly Perfect: number 2 if u hurt landon in any way we will all make u suffer in ways uve never imagined 

Jed: got it

Utterly Perfect: and number 3 u do not under any circumstances judge any of us in any way

Utterly perfect: we r all crazy and messed up in 1 way or another but this gc chaotic and stupid as it may be is a safe place if u ruin that safe place in any way u will never be forgiven

Jed: yes ma’am

Utterly Perfect: thats it

MysteriousMagic: wait! 1 more from me! 

Jed: ok…

MysteriousMagic: that boring ass name… has got 2 go

Chapter Text

Wednesday

06:48

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

ObviousWolf: ur kidding rite?

 

07:17

Baby Vamp: knew he’d say something like that

 

07:29

Utterly Perfect: just give him a chance ralf

ObviousWolf: u saying u trust him?

Utterly Perfect: im saying that every1 deserves a 2nd chance

Utterly Perfect: and if thats not good enough for u then try for landon

ObviousWolf: 1 wrong move and hes out

Utterly Perfect: already made that perfectly clear

ObviousWolf: 1 chance he gets 1. more. chance

 

07:34

Jed: I rly appreciate it rafael

ObviousWolf: im not doing it for u

Jed: ik

 

07:37

MysteriousMagic: now that thats cleared up we need a name… a catchy name

CandyCaneHigh: how bout ‘loverofmayonnaise’

LanLan: am i the mayonnaise? 

CandyCaneHigh: well duh

Baby Vamp: o what about ‘ATotalTop’

LanLan: um rude!

Jed: w-what?

Utterly Perfect: oh dont worry a weird name is a compliment

Jed: ok…

FuckThisShitImOut: i personally like ‘100% would do’

CandyCaneHigh: u man whore

MysteriousMagic: im gonna go w/...

MysteriousMagic has changed Jed's name to 'TopDog'

Baby Vamp: ehh!

Utterly Perfect: well now that that's sorted imma head 2 school cya

CandyCaneHigh: walk by my house im almost ready

Utterly Perfect: last time u said that I was waiting half an hour

CandyCaneHigh: yea well this time i mean it

Utterly Perfect: ur lucky ur cute

CandyCaneHigh: i am arent i

TopDog: there together arent they?

MysteriousMagic: wanna help me break them up?

TopDog: wait y?

MysteriousMagic: cuz lizzie would be crushed

TopDog: isnt she ur friend??

Matchmaker: ignore her

MysteriousMagic: ur words wound me jojo

Matchmaker: whatever p ur fine

MysteriousMagic: well only cuz ur talking 2 me

TopDog: so u 2 r together as well?

Matchmaker: what! no!

FuckThisShitImOut: theyve been in love for 2 years but josie denies it and penelope plays it off as a joke cuz there both 2 scared

Matchmaker: i am not! there is nothing between us!

MysteriousMagic: ofc there is jojo! dont lie 2 urself! no1 can resist me after all

Baby Vamp: yea kinda like that…

FuckThisShitImOut: thank u both for proving my point

 

09:45

Baby Vamp has changed FuckThisShitImOut’s name to ‘GodOfSchemes’

GodOfSchemes: u werent 2 bad urself man

Baby Vamp has changed their name to ‘SlyFox’

GodOfSchemes: u were pretty sly

SlyFox: thanks dude

ObviousWolf: i helped 2 just an fyi 

 

09:51

CandyCaneHigh: hope im leaving u 4 ur ex

Utterly Perfect: srsly?

CandyCaneHigh: im sry but… romans my soulmate

Matchmaker: roman is every1s soulmate liz

MysteriousMagic: the way he saved us back there… uh

MysteriousMagic: maybe I can convince him 2 leave kaleb and have some fun w/ me ;)

Utterly Perfect: stop

GodOfSchemes: hes all urs sister it was a 1 time thing but damn… he is soo good like fuck man

Utterly Perfect: nope dont wanna hear this

TopDog: wat is happening

LanLan: hope and roman use 2 d8 but now she sees him as only a friend now but he took her virginity so…

MysteriousMagic: he was ur 1st? lucky!!

Utterly Perfect: im going 2 class

CandyCaneHigh: how bout we set up a threesome??

Utterly Perfect: im never talking 2 u again!

CandyCaneHigh: just think about it k??

 

12:03

ObviousWolf: i think lizzie is actually gonna leave hope for roman…

Utterly Perfect: yea so do i

LanLan: whats she doing?

Utterly Perfect: flirting… with him not me

MysteriousMagic: that bitch! i called dibs!

ObviousWolf: ok so… hope and i r the only 1s who dont wanna get in 2 bed with this guy is wat im getting…

Utterly Perfect: we broke up cuz hes like a brother 2 me so…

MysteriousMagic: im starting 2 c a trend with the people u d8

LanLan: omg yes!

ObviousWolf: She d8s peeps then they turn in2 her siblings!!

MysteriousMagic: so guess this means lizzies gonna be ur sister

Utterly Perfect: no nope i cant deal w/ this

Utterly Perfect: im leaving 

Utterly Perfect: u guys r just 2 much 4 me!

Utterly Perfect has left the chat

MysteriousMagic: that was overdramatic

LanLan: lol i wish the others were here 2 c this

ObviousWolf has added Utterly Perfect to the chat

Utterly Perfect: kill me now


15:14

CandyCaneHigh: fine i promise i wont bang roman unless its in a threesome!

Chapter Text

Thursday

18:07

group chat ‘Oh Christmas Tree Oh Christmas Tree’

SlyFox: i cant take it anymore!

SlyFox has removed GodOfSchemes from the chat

MysteriousMagic: intriguing

ObviousWolf: y do we keep removing peeps?

SlyFox: bc we have a serious problem!!

CandyCaneHigh: u have a crush on kaleb!!!

SlyFox: lizzie!!

Utterly Perfect: sry she stole her phone back

LanLan: this is perfect! now all we have 2 do is get rafael with some1 and we can go on group d8s!

Utterly Perfect: I am never going on a group d8

CandyCaneHigh: same. And not just bc i cant if hope doesnt but bc this group is 2 chaotic 

MysteriousMagic: now that u mention it… when was the last time we all hung out outside this chat

ObviousWolf: idk but were all gonna hang out tmw

TopDog: whats tmw?

LanLan: karaoke! u wanna come?

The Enchantress: wait… I dont have a so so y is ralf the only 1 that has 2 find some1?

Utterly Perfect: nothing! he just u kno forgot that u dont have any1 and stuff for reasons…

MysteriousMagic: hope! How many people did u tell!?

The Enchantress: tell what?

SlyFox: guys! gay panicking over here!!

CandyCaneHigh has renamed the chat ‘Gay Panic #2’

LanLan: throwback thursday!

TopDog: and it actually is thursday good job babe

SlyFox: GGGGUUUYYYYSSSS!!!!!!

Utterly Perfect: sing him a song tmw

MysteriousMagic: dont force the poor man

SlyFox: sing him a song?? nah thats way 2 emotional

CandyCaneHigh: urg boys

Utterly Perfect: says the girl who 1st told me she loves over a text

ObviousWolf: i remember that

SlyFox: stop getting distracted!!!

LanLan: ok ok so wat can we do

Matchmaker: just tell him how u feel 

SlyFox: wat if he doesnt like me back!!!

Utterly Perfect: sometimes u have 2 take a risk for love

MysteriousMagic: that was very poetic

SlyFox: o fuck have 2 add kaleb back

SlyFox has deleted 34 messages from the chat

SlyFox has added GodOfSchemes to the chat

GodOfSchemes: wtf man!?

GodOfSchemes: wat happened to the chat name?

GodOfSchemes: yd u remove me??

GodOfSchemes: wat were u hoes even talkin bout!?!?

Utterly Perfect: uhh...

CandyCaneHigh: boys

MysteriousMagic: girls

LanLan: straights

ObviousWolf: gays

TopDog: um…

Matchmaker: jfc

GodOfSchemes: … 

GodOfSchemes: whatever ive gtg

SlyFox: hehe bye!

 

20:31

MysteriousMagic has created a chat

MysteriousMagic has added Matchmaker, CandyCaneHigh, SlyFox, GodOfSchemes and LanLan to the chat

MysteriousMagic has renamed the chat ‘Shipping Crew’

GodOfSchemes: another 1

SlyFox: y peez??

MysteriousMagic: i have chosen this small group of people as the shipper crew

MysteriousMagic: these r the people who will 

MysteriousMagic: 1. help match make our friends

MysteriousMagic: 2. help out our friends if theyre having relationship problems

MysteriousMagic: and 3. make sure our friends in relationships r happy

CandyCaneHigh: u h8 me tho??

MysteriousMagic: that may b so but u r noisy u can keep us updated

CandyCaneHigh:

CandyCaneHigh: fair

LanLan: y only us?

MysteriousMagic: I have studied ur actions and reactions when it comes 2 relationships and u r the best people 4 the job

Matchmaker: im the only always telling u guys 2 leave them alone??

MysteriousMagic: u shall keeps us in line

LanLan: sry when have I ever cared abt others relationships?

MysteriousMagic: maybe u havent but u can lurk and still care abt it

GodOfSchemes: im sry wat

MysteriousMagic: idk 

SlyFox: wat if 1 of us is having relationship trouble?

MysteriousMagic: then we kick them out of the group til its resolved

MysteriousMagic: so

MysteriousMagic has removed SlyFox and GodOfSchemes from the chat

CandyCaneHigh: o hell yea

Matchmaker: makes sense

MysteriousMagic: let us begin

 

21:55

private chat between CandyCaneHigh and MysteriousMagic

CandyCaneHigh: its been a while but ive got an update

MysteriousMagic: finally

CandyCaneHigh: ok so josie wont talk much abt it but she did say that the creep was still bothering her

CandyCaneHigh: she only replies every once and a while 2 tell them 2 stop

CandyCaneHigh: when i asked y she hadnt blocked him she said she couldnt she tried but it wouldnt work

MysteriousMagic: so hes some kind of hacker??

CandyCaneHigh: and if he could stop josie from blocking him…

MysteriousMagic: he could prolly find out where she lives… fuck!

MysteriousMagic: im coming over!

CandyCaneHigh: its 10pm

MysteriousMagic: if josies in danger im not just going 2 sit around!

CandyCaneHigh: shes not in danger mom and dad r rite across the hall and we share a room

MysteriousMagic:

CandyCaneHigh: I promise 2 call u if anything happens ok satan

MysteriousMagic: ok fine! just make sure nothing happens 2 her

CandyCaneHigh: urg just tell her how u feel already this is getting old

MysteriousMagic: yea yea im working on it

 

Friday

07:09

group chat ‘Gay Panic #2’

GodOfSchemes: karaoke day baby!!

Matchmaker: idk wat but something is going 2 go wrong tdy

Utterly Perfect: something always does

Chapter Text

15:29

group chat ‘Gay Panic #2’

MysteriousMagic: i expect every1 at my house by 6

GodOfSchemes: eXpeCT

SlyFox: “expect” lol

CandyCaneHigh: will u not let us in past 6 or something satan?

MysteriousMagic: well i wont b letting u in at all

Matchmaker: could u 2 go 1 day without arguing

Utterly Perfect: they cant ur sister literally texted me in the middle of a test ysd 2 tell me how annoying penelope was bc she sat in front of her???

Utterly Perfect: [lizziesrant.jpg]

CandyCaneHigh: im leaving u!

LanLan: uh can u even go a day without seeing each other???

SlyFox: nope they cant

Utterly Perfect: i h8 all of u

LanLan: nah u luv us

ObviousWolf: yea u love us 2 much 2 h8 us!!!

MysteriousMagic: u wanna fuck all of us!

Matchmaker: ANYWAY

TopDog: wat is happening??

CandyCaneHigh: welcome 2 hell

MysteriousMagic: so my house. karaoke. dont b late 

GodOfSchemes: cant wait!

MysteriousMagic: prepare urself lizzie!! ur gonna get wet hearin ur gurl siiiing

Utterly Perfect: do u ever shut up!

 

18:38

CandyCaneHigh: hobbit. bf of hobbit. wolf boi. where da fuck r yaa

SlyFox: dont mind her shes a lil drunkie

GodOfSchemes: so r u mg

Matchmaker: srsly tho guys where r u?

LanLan: sry we got a little hold up

ObviousWolf: wat he means is i found him and jed making out IN MY MOMS BED

SlyFox: dvnfvnmcvnrfjncv HAHAHA

LanLan: we said we were sorry!

CandyCaneHigh: we bout 2 statr singin beaches so hury p

GodOfSchemes: beaches????

Matchmaker: “beaches”

LanLan: “beaches” lmao

SlyFox: get ur cute asses ovr hear!!!

GodOfSchemes: hurry up

TopDog: sry guys we’re almost there

 

18:53

Matchmaker: fuck hope rly is a good singer…

GodOfSchemes: good? shes fuckin amazing! im getting hard

MysteriousMagic: told yall

SlyFox: yall lol

LanLan: do u c the look on lizzies face? Looks like she could orgasm just from hearing her voice…

MysteriousMagic: do u guys not take me seriously?

TopDog: her voice is gorgeous tbh

TopDog: and im saying this as a gay man

ObviousWolf: her voice is making me think i mite not b ace…

Matchmaker: rite!

GodOfSchemes: is she… crying?

MysteriousMagic: well duh i picked out the song!

Lanlan: it is very emotional…

 

18:56

SlyFox: LMFAO!!!!!!

LanLan: THEY FUCKING LEFT!!!!!!!!

MysteriousMagic: I WASNT BEING SERIOUS WEN I SAID SHED WANNA FUCK HER!!!

MysteriousMagic: OK SO I WAS BUT STILL!

Matchmaker: guys! Stop yelling!

TopDog: I cant believe lizzie actually dragged her off tho… wasnt expecting that

ObviousWolf: y r u guys texting? We r literally rite next 2 each other???

GodOfSchemes: yea hoes! its my turn so ya better listen!

 

19:37

SlyFox: so uh…

TopDog: that was…

LanLan: yea…

GodOfSchemes: yd josie run away tho?

ObviousWolf: she finally had the girl of her dreams singin 2 her and she just… left?

Utterly Perfect: wait josie left??

CandyCaneHigh: if that she devil made my sister cry ill kill her!

LanLan: we dont kno wat happened

SlyFox: peez was singing this super romantic song 2 josie

GodOfSchemes: which like finally!

SlyFox: then josie jst… ran out??

LanLan: then penelope followed her and here we r

Utterly Perfect: shit…

CandyCaneHigh: she just ran out of the room…

GodOfSchemes: sry did we interrupt ur fucking?

CandyCaneHigh: we werent doing anything u pervs!

CandyCaneHigh: 1st of were still here just upstairs

CandyCaneHigh: and we were literally just talking!!

TopDog: about…

CandyCaneHigh: NONE OF UR BUSINESS

SlyFox: ok jeez gurl

LanLan: this has been 1 hell of a nite

 

19:41

private chat between MysteriousMagic and Utterly Perfect

Utterly Perfect: peny u ok?

Utterly Perfect: ur prolly w/ josie and cant talk but text me when u can

Utterly Perfect: im worried

 

20:04

MysteriousMagic: um have u uh already left?

Utterly Perfect: no

Utterly Perfect: every1 else already went home but im still here

MysteriousMagic: can u stay where u r? im coming home now

Utterly Perfect: ofc b wat happened P

MysteriousMagic: well the love of my life just told me she never wants to see my face again

Utterly Perfect: penny…

 

21:50

private chat between CandyCaneHigh and Utterly Perfect

Utterly perfect: I love you

CandyCaneHigh: wait what!?

Utterly Perfect: I’m sorry I didn’t say it before

CandyCaneHigh: is this like payback 4 1st saying ily over text bc i apologized like 10 times

Utterly Perfect: lol no! But i cant leave penelope and i needed u 2 kno that ilysm

CandyCaneHigh: josie told me wat happened…

Utterly Perfect: ik u h8 penelope liz…

CandyCaneHigh: I do

CandyCaneHigh: but i also know she loves my sister. she sucks at showing it. but she does love her…

Utterly Perfect: so what r we going 2 do?

CandyCaneHigh: we handle this 1 on our own bc i can not deal with those annoyances getting in the way

Utterly Perfect: ok yea… but whats our plan?

CandyCaneHigh:

CandyCaneHigh: meet u in the park tmw at noon? we can plan then

Utterly Perfect: ok sure

CandyCaneHigh: and hope…

Utterly Perfect: yea?

CandyCaneHigh: ily 2. always have

Utterly Perfect: night lizzie

CandyCaneHigh: night

Chapter Text

Sunday

11:12

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

GodOfSchemes: so... we ever gonna talk about wat went down on friday??

ObviousWolf: u wanna b the 1 2 confront penelope?

SlyFox: ya hes gotta point

CandyCaneHigh: what do u idiots not understand abt a gc

TopDog: maybe there not online???

LanLan: hopeful thinking babe

GodOfSchemes: well do u kno wats happening

CandyCaneHigh: none of Ur business

SlyFox: so u do kno

Utterly Perfect: guys shut up. trying 2 focus here

LanLan: on wat?

Utterly Perfect: painting and my muse keeps moving!!

CandyCaneHigh: ok ok jeez

CandyCaneHigh: shut up guys im getting painted

TopDog: so they totally kno something

SlyFox: yep thats wat we got from that

GodOfSchemes: welp we gonna try and find out or wat?

LanLan: is that a good idea

SlyFox: is anything we do a good idea?

LanLan: fair point

ObviousWolf: yea thats tru

Matchmaker: if u guys r going 2 snoop do u have 2 suck at it?

MysteriousMagic: smh i expected better from u guys

GodOfSchemes: eh look whos back

Matchmaker: we never left

CandyCaneHigh: ty 4 finally talking! i was fucking dying over here!

Utterly Perfect: LIZZIE!!

CandyCaneHigh: jc hope

CandyCaneHigh: fbfnkrkxnrj

SlyFox: uhh

Utterly Perfect: sry i took her phone continue without us

ObviousWolf: lmao

GodOfSchemes: ok now tell us wats goin on

MyteriousMagic: after many hour of aruging

Matchmaker: 1 argument that lasted like 10 mins she means

MysteriousMagic: and some scheming bitches w/ guts who tricked us

Matchmaker: Lizzie and hope btw

LanLan: yep sounds about rite

MysteriousMagic: we have joined together as 1

Matchmaker: ffs penny! were together! she means were together!

GodOfSchemes: FUCKING FINALLY!!!!!!

LanLan: TIME TO PARTY BTICHES

SlyFox: my children!! ive been waiting for this day 4ever!!!

ObviousWolf: gotta say its about time

TopDog: um congrats u guys

Utterly Perfect: hope went 2 the bathroom so i stole her phone - lizzie

Utterly Perfect: anyway tell them our genius plan

MysteriousMagic: u trapped us in the park

Utterly Perfect: u coulda left

Matchmaker: no we couldnt! u 2 wouldnt let us!

Utterly Perfect: thats obviously a lie

SlyFox: lol

GodOfSchemes: "obviously"

MysteriousMagic: anyways we talked it out and here we r

Utterly Perfect: ur welcome

TopDog: u guys r rly something

LanLan: arent we tho

 

11:27

Utterly Perfect: im changing my passcode

 

19:44

group chat 'Shipping Crew'

CandyCaneHigh: so since my amazing plan of getting the 2 morons 2gether worked... y dont we just do it for the other pair of morons??

Matchmaker: 1st of all rude

Matchmaker: and 2nd of all the same plan never works twice

LanLan: shes got a point and if we take them 2 the park theyll be suspicious

MysteriousMagic: nice try tho elizabeth

CandyCaneHigh: fine then! any1 else have an idea??

LanLan: how bout we add mg back? he probably already knows wat were up 2 and it is him were trying 2 help??

Matchmaker: yea that could work

MysteriousMagic has added SlyFox to the chat

SlyFox: have u figured something out??

CandyCaneHigh: nope but ur gonna help us

SlyFox: im gonna help myself u mean

MysteriousMagic: potato potahto

CandyCaneHigh: either way u get a hot bf

SlyFox: jeez

 

20:31

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

CandyCaneHigh has changed Utterly Perfect's name to 'DivineArt'

CandyCaneHigh: 

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/the-vampire-diaries-and-the-originals/images/3/3b/Legacies-S1-Lizzie.png/revision/latest?cb=20181103210324

DivineArt: y do u do this

CandyCaneHigh: cuz i wanna show evey1 how talented my gf is duh 

CandyCaneHigh: also i had 2 stand in the woods 4 the whole day so...

MysteriousMagic: u dont look half bad here dude hope rly is a miracal worker

TopDog: did that take all day??

DivineArt: yep just finished up

LanLan: #proud

ObviousWolf: howd u learn 2 paint like that hope?

DivineArt: well my dad was a painter and he started teaching me b4 i could talk

MysteriousMagic: im proud 2 call u my ex fuck buddy

DivineArt: u kno u could just say best friend

TopDog: wait wat??

LanLan: dont get her started

MysteriousMagic: relax losers im in a happy relationship w/ the love of meh life

CandyCaneHigh: uve been d8ing 4 like 5 mins

ObviousWolf: were is Josie anyway?

CandyCaneHigh: idk im not home remember

TopDog: i saw her w/ mg abt 20 mins ago

DivineArt: where?

TopDog: they walked past the grill while i was working

MysteriousMagic: U WERE AT THE GRILL

LanLan: FUCKING LUCKY!!!

TopDog: am i missing something here?

CandyCaneHigh: these idiots got themselves banned 4 a month

DivineArt: that was abt 2 weeks ago i think

ObviousWolf: 12 days actually

CandyCaneHigh: lol u counted the days!

ObviousWolf: shut up!

 

20:55

SlyFox: so… we have news…

Matchmaker: very unexpected news…

MysteriousMagic: oo sounds juicy! do tell

Chapter Text

Monday

16:06

group chat ‘Gay Panic #2’

MysteriousMagic: its been a day and i still cant believe it

Matchmaker: can we not talk about this

CandyCaneHigh: i agree

LanLan: u mean not talk about the fact that ur dad is banging the sheriff

DivineArt: u definitely did that on purpose

CandyCaneHigh: I AM GOING TO FUCKING MURDER U MOPHEAD!!!!!

Matchmaker: im mortified

ObviousWolf: u tryin 2 get urself killed bro

TopDog: that was not a smart move babe

LanLan: gtg in2 hiding bai!

MysteriousMagic: lmfao

DivineArt: she actually is

DivineArt: [pennysbreakdown.mp4]

MysteriousMagic: HOW DARE U MIKAELSON

GodOfSchemes: yo is she ok?

Matchmaker: awe u look so cute P

DivineArt: now shes smiling like an idiot

DivineArt: [smilefest.jpg]

SlyFox: wat r u 2 doing anyway??

MysteriousMagic: rewatching season 4 of lucifer

DiveineArt: bc we like 2 make ourselves sad apparently

GodOfSchemes: season 4 is hella sad

TopDog: i havent had a chance 2 watch the last season yet… 

Matchmaker: dont!

CandyCaneHigh: srsly! DO. NOT. WATCH. IT!!

TopDog: ok…

LanLan: there being over dramatic

MysteriousMagic: OVERDRAMATIC!!!

CandyCaneHigh: HOW FUCKING DARE U!!!

DivineArt: wat have u done

GodOfSchemes: ur making a lot of mistakes 2da man

SlyFox: U MEAN 2 TELL ME U WERENT FUCKNG HEARTROKEN WHEN LUCIFER HAD 2 RETURN 2 HELL WHEN HE’D SPENT THE ENTIRE SERIES NOT WANTING 2 GO BACK

MysteriousMagic: AND RITE AFTER HE AND CHLOE CONFESSED THERE LOVE 2!!!

ObviousWolf: hope ur in a good hiding spot lan

CandyCaneHigh: AND U WERE TORN APART BY THE FACT THAT MAZE AND EVE DIDNT END UP TOGETHER!?!? THAT POOR POOR MAZE LOST THE LOVE OF HER LIFE

LanLan: did any1 actually get a happy ending tho…?

DivineArt: uhh…

MysteriousMagic: wait did they??

TopDog: GUYS SHUT UP WAT PART OF HAVENT SEEN IT YET DO U NOT UNDERSTAND

Matchmaker: lol

GodOfSchemes: well linda and amenadiel got charlie back and arent taking him to heaven so… thats 1 thing

CandyCaneHigh: and ella put her necklace back on 

CandyCaneHigh: i mean god seems like a dick but like… she has her faith back?

SlyFox: and dan is starting 2 not be a douche anymore

ObviousWolf: well… not as much of a douche

DivineArt: wait… did maze return 2 hell 2??

MysteriousMagic: OMG UR RITE

GodOfSchemes: it was never answered

LanLan: she didnt rly have anywhere else 2 go since eve went off 2 find her self or whatever

SlyFox: also… wat abt the peeps who didnt kno abt lucifer?? he left and they didnt kno?? 

CandyCaneHigh: they kinda left out a lot of things didnt they?

MysteriousMagic: Y CANT SEASON 5 GET HERE ALREADY!!!!

GodOfSchemes: hurry up and watch it jed

TopDog: well u guys kinda just spoiled the whole think 4 me so i dont rly have 2 do i??

ObviousWolf: tru

Matchmaker: sorry…

 

19:25

group chat ‘Shipping Crew’

MysteriousMagic: i need a distraction

LanLan: lol u finish season 4?

MysteriousMagic: stfu!

SlyFox: lets get back to getting me laid!

CandyCaneHigh: urg now im picturing in my head

Matchmaker: thanks lizzie! now we all r

MysteriousMagic: ill give u something else 2 think abt jojo ;)

CandyCaneHigh: pls no

SlyFox: can we get back on topic

LanLan: i got an idea

MysteriousMagic: shoot

LanLan: mg just… asks kaleb out!

SlyFox: wtf dude??

Matchmaker: ur rly trying 2 piss every1 off 2da arent u?

LanLan: i dont mean out on a d8. just hang out like u always do and subtly hint at wanting 2 bone him

CandyCaneHigh: do u rly think that would work hobbit?

MysteriousMagic: its not actually that bad of an idea

SlyFox: rly peez?

MysteriousMagic: u go out on a “not d8” and by the end of the nite ull b making out

SlyFox: we hang out all the time tho whatll b different abt this time?

MysteriousMagic: the difference is this time we’ll b there 2 back u up

Matchmaker: i had a feeling u were gonna say that

LanLan: so were gonna follow them around all nite?

MysteriousMagic: yep and help things along

CandyCaneHigh: i can get behind this

SlyFox: thanks… i think

Matchmaker: o boy

 

Tuesday

02:53

private chat between CandyCaneHigh and MysteriousMagic

CandyCaneHigh: wake up evil 1!

MysteriousMagic: im not asleep

CandyCaneHigh: well good bc ive got news

MysteriousMagic: spill

CandyCaneHigh: so i went downstairs 2 get a drink. josie must have forgot 2 bring her phone 2 bed w/ her cuz i found it on the kitchen counter

CandyCaneHigh: it was blowing up w/ messages so i checked it and it was the creep again

MysteriousMagic: what did the creep say

CandyCaneHigh: more like wat did i say back

CandyCaneHigh: [myresponse.jpg]

MysteriousMagic: woah… not bad

MysteriousMagic: ur bitchiness came in handy 4 once

CandyCaneHigh: dont go getting soft on me park

MysteriousMagic: wouldnt dream of it

CandyCaneHigh: anyway he didnt answer so i think i scared him off

CandyCaneHigh: 4 now anyways

MysteriousMagic: cool text me if it starts up again but our work might b done here

CandyCaneHigh: yep thank god

MysteriousMagic: gn drama queen

CandyCaneHigh: nite satan

MysteriousMagic: lucifer*

Chapter Text

Tuesday

18:32

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

GodOfSchemes: yo this chat has been dead 4 like 2 weeks

CandyCaneHigh: uh yea cuz we have lives outside our phones

LanLan: mm sounds fake

MysteriousMagic: ive just been annoying hope

DivineArt: 2. weeks. straight u guys

SlyFox: u mean 2 weeks gay

ObviousWolf: u 2 r flying back 2da rite?

MysteriousMagic: yep hopes family is all like "u cant miss 2 much school girls"

Matchmaker: y were u staying w/ hope 4 the holidays again??

DivineArt: bc her mom had 2 work

TopDog: on christmas? thats harsh

GodOfSchemes: anyways. im bored gimme something 2 do u guys

SlyFox: u can come over 2 my place and play video games

GodOfSchemes: dope b rite over

 

18:38

group chat 'Shipping Crew'

LanLan: go mg!

SlyFox: shut up nothings going 2 happen 2nite

MysteriousMagic: thats wat they all say

 

18:39

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

LanLan: guys! our month ban at the grill ends tmw

Matchmaker: finally

GodOfSchemes: i was never banned so...

CandyCaneHigh: dont kno wat all the fuss is abt

ObviousWolf: u dont have 2 rub it in

TopDog: still cant believe u got urselves banned tho

SlyFox: it was all peez fault

MysteriousMagic: excuse you!?! it was not

Matchmaker: baby... u put alcohol in our drinks without telling us

DivineArt: definitely something penelope would do

MysteriousMagic: whatever!

LanLan: lmao

 

Wednesday

02:44

CandyCaneHigh: my brain officially hates me!

Matchmaker: she cant sleep so she woke me up now shes seeing if any of u guys r up

DivineArt: we just landed so

MysteriousMagic: guys! hope has her own private jet

DivineArt: 4 the last time its my aunt rebekahs not mine

LanLan: its so cool isnt it!

CandyCaneHigh: back 2 more important things. namely... me

MysteriousMagic: no... i dont think so

CandyCaneHigh: no1 cares wat u think evil 1!

MysteriousMagic: on the contrary. every1 cares

Matchmaker: i swear 2 god

DivineArt: y. just y

LanLan: i feel sry 4 u guys

Lanlan: ur always in the middle of there fighting lol

Matchmaker: ikr

DivineArt: tell me abt it

MysteriousMagic: she started it

CandyCaneHigh: she started it

MysteriousMagic: ha i typed it quicker then u

CandyCaneHigh: quality over quantity satan

DivineArt: 4 the love of... 

Matchmaker: srsly u guys? cut it out

LanLan: this is hilarious

CandyCaneHigh: o shut it hobbit

GodOfSchemes: WOULD YALL SHUT UP IM TRYING 2 SLEEP!!!!!

Matchmaker: ...

CandyCaneHigh: ...

MysteriousMagic: ...

LanLan: ...

DivineArt: so... nite u guys

MysteriousMagic: aha

CandyCaneHigh: yep

LanLan: gn

Matchmaker: cya at school

GodOfschemes: ty!

 

05:20

group chat 'Shipping Crew'

MysteriousMagic: now that im back we're gonna put our plan in2 action this afternoon

SlyFox: so soon?

CandyCaneHigh: do u want a bf or not?

SlyFox: i just thought id have a while 2 u kno… prepare

LanLan: we came up w/ this plan weeks ago mg...

Matchmaker: sometimes you've got to take a leap of faith

MysteriousMagic: c full words and everything

SlyFox: ...

SlyFox: ok fine! so how r u guys going 2 help exactly

MysteriousMagic: y i never thought ud ask

MysteriousMagic: u'll ask kaleb 2 hang out after school but wat he doesnt kno is that we'll b tailing u

MysteriousMagic: just do the things u normally do when u hang out and we'll b there 2 put a romantic spin on the whole thing

SlyFox: how?

MysteriousMagic: dont u worry abt that

CandyCaneHigh: and if all goes according 2 plan by the end of the nite ull have a bf

LanLan: and have a little fun along the way

Matchmaker: u dont have 2 worry abt anything apart from having fun mg

SlyFox: thanks. u guys r the best

CandyCaneHigh: we know

MysteriousMagic: we kno

LanLan: o i know

SlyFox: ...

Matchmaker: so modest smh

Chapter Text

Thursday

15:46

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

CandyCaneHigh has changed their name to 'BiMess'

BiMess: since its no longer christmas i thought i should change my username

LanLan: i just realized that rafael and penelope have only changed their usernames once

LanLan: and jed 2 but he hasnt been here as long

MysteriousMagic has changed their name to 'hot&feisty'

hot&feisty: now i have

GodOfSchemes has change ObviousWolf's name to 'AceHeart'

GodOfschemes: now ralf has 2

AceHeart: not bad tbh

LanLan has changed their name to 'DragonMaster'

DragonMaster: i felt like joining the fun

SlyFox: dragon master???

DragonMaster: uhuh. i had a dream once and i slayed a dragon!

DragonMaster: ...well ok hope slayed the dragon but... im keeping the name!

DragonMaster: also... lizzie and josies dad was there for some reason... ralf 2

Matchmaker: u have some rly weird dreams

DivineArt: y did i slay the dragon??

hot&feisty: i can c it

TopDog: so... should i change my name or...?

AceHeart: idefk anymore

BiMess: hope says ur all insane

DivineArt: LIZZIE

SlyFox: lol #calledout

GodOfSchemes: i thought u appreciated us hope

DragonMaster: just rip out our heart y dont ya

hot&feisty: i dont think ill ever recover from that blow

Matchmaker: drama queens

TopDog: y r u guys like this?

DivineArt: im never talking 2 any of u again

Bimess: u can try lmao

DivineArt: i hate u

BiMess: i love u

GodOfSchemes: i hate that i love u!!

AceHeart: o no

TopDog: wat??

hot&feisty: Don't want to, but I can't put

SlyFox: Nobody else above you

DivineArt: ftlg no!!

TopDog: wat is happening??

DragonMaster: its a mf sing-a-long!!!

Matchmaker: I hate you I love you

BiMess: hope h8s it

BiMess:  I hate that I want you

DivineArt: so u do it 2 annoy me

hot&feisty: pretty much yea

AceHeart: o well cant do anything abt it now

GodOfSchemes: u joined in last time dude

AceHeart: tru

AceHeart:  You want her, you need her

TopDog:  And I'll never be her

SlyFox: ehhh

DragonMaster: just when i thought i couldnt love u more

TopDog: dsngvienvopdfnf

BiMess: omfg

Matchmaker: was that...

hot&feisty: bloody hell

 

16:00

private chat between DivineArt and DragonMaster

DragonMaster: AHHHHGGHGHGHGHHHHHHHHHHHJHHJHG

DivineArt: dude did u srsly just tell jed u love him 4 the 1st time over text???

DragonMaster: SHUT IP U SAID THATS HWO IT HAPENED W/ U AND LIZIE!!!!!!!!

DivineArt: tru... but at least it wasnt an accident

DragonMaster: BITCH HELP MEEEEEE

DragonMaster: FUCK HES TETING MEEEE

DivineArt: then answer him!

DragonMaster: ew hope thats a terrible idea!!!

DivineArt: at least ur not texting in all caps anymore

DragonMaster: srsly hope WTF DO I DO

DivineArt: ANSWER. HIM.

DragonMaster: but hooope

DivineArt: ffs landon answer him or i swear-

DragonMaster: alrite! alrite!

 

16:04

private chat between DragonMaster and TopDog

TopDog: um so... did u mean wat u said??

TopDog: bc i wanna answer but um... i want 2 make sure u meant it 1st

DragonMaster: uh yea i uh... yea i meant it

TopDog: well in that case I love you to Landon

DragonMaster: wait really?!?!

TopDog: I know it hasn't been all that long but yeah, I love you. I think I have for a while now

DragonMaster: full sentences and everything.

DragonMaster: oh hang on 1 second hopes being a noisy little shit

 

16:06

private chat between DivineArt and DragonMaster

DivineArt: so? what happened??

DragonMaster: u just interrupted a moment hope

DivineArt: sorry not sorry

DivineArt: now spill!

DragonMaster: im rolling my eyes right now btw

DragonMaster: [whatyouinterrupted.jpg]

DivineArt: says the pot 2 the kettle

DivineArt: ur always asking abt lizzie asshole

DivineArt: but also im happy 4 u

DragonMaster: thx and as much as ily can i get back 2 my bf now???

DivineArt: sure but call me later

DragonMaster: will do

 

16:09

private chat between DragonMaster and TopDog

DragonMaster: sorry

TopDog: its fine xd

TopDog: do u wanna come over talk more in person

DragonMaster: yea yea id love 2

DragonMaster: im on my way over now

DragonMaster: and im turning my phone off

TopDog: good call i will 2 cya in a bit


16:27

group chat 'Gay Panic #2'

SlyFox has changed the chat name to ' Rule No.2. Answer Your Fucking Phone'

SlyFox: srsly ive called them both abt 10 times

DivineArt: Give them there space

BiMess: says u

DivineArt: Stop reading over my should-Hope you're going to get us killed!

Matchmaker: ???

DivineArt: Sorry I have voice-text on, I'm taking Lizzie home

BiMess: shes a horrible drive

DivineArt: Fuck you

DivineArt: Again? Who knew you had so much stamina

DivineArt: Shut up!

GodOfSchemes: tmi!!

BiMess: she turned it off

Matchmaker: i-i uh fuck

hot&feisty: poor baby

AceHeart: u alrite jo?

GodOfSchemes: yo josie!?

BiMess: fuck i broke my sister!!

SlyFox: josie.exe has stopped responding

 

Chapter Text

Friday

10:24

group chat ' Rule No.2. Answer Your Fucking Phone'

SlyFox: in just realized we have yet 2 plan how we take connor down!

 

10:27

Matchmaker: and u realized this in the middle of geo how exactly??

SlyFox: connors sitting in front of me being annoying and i thought "cant wait 2 take this guy down"

SlyFox: then it hit me that we havent planned his demise yet...

AceHeart: maybe we could i dont kno… plan this after class!

 

10:42

GodOfSchemes: u lot may not have but i certainly have

GodOfSchemes: u c while u hoes were playin around and shit

GodOfSchemes: I came up w/ the perfect plan 2 take connor (and dana as well) down

 

10:56

DragonMaster: explain quickly b4 the next bell

GodOfSchemes: ok so our raid last month was extremely helpful

GodOfSchemes: its simple rly: if connor steps out of line we threaten 2 tell the school all his dirt little secrets

SlyFox: thats it??

GodOfSchemes: well yea u uh... u dont like it??

SlyFox: no i do! ur plans r just usually a bit more complicated than that thats all

GodOfSchemes: well unlike u these idiots wouldnt b able 2 keep up w/ my brilliance

TopDog: u kno were rite here!?

DragonMaster: yea stop flirting and get 2 class

SlyFox: were not flirting and im already here!

GodOfSchemes: we were kinda flirting and i have a free period

SlyFox: fndkgjnxxlxfngm

TopDog: i think u broke him...

DragonMaster: u definitely broke him and get 2 study hall

GodOfSchemes: since when r u captain responsible??

DragonMaster: i dont want u 2 get detention 2da

GodOfSchemes: y???

DragonMaster: ...no reason

 

13:07

group chat 'Shipping Crew'

BiMess: wtaf hobbit!?!?

BiMess: u couldve blown the whole operation

hot&feisty: "we were kinda flirting"!!!!!

Matchmaker: maybe u dont need our help after all

SlyFox: kaleb flirts w/ everything that moves it means nothing!

hot&feisty: i used 2 b like that

hot&feisty: but then i met jojo and she became the only 1 that mattered

BiMess: u should c how hard shes blushing

BiMess: [blushingbrunette.jpg]

BiMess: excuse me while i go baff

DragonMaster: well i think its adorable!

DragonMaster: and i also think that 2nite is going 2 go great

DragonMaster: also hope just sat down w/ the twins and i and was like "josie y r u blushing so hard??"

Matchmaker: shut up landon! 

Matchmaker: shes also wonder y were all on our phones can we focus on that please!?

hot&feisty: awe jojo ur so adorable! where r u I wanna come kiss u 4 being the most adorable thing in the universe

BiMess: no u will stay as far away from us as possible! i already feel the need 2 throw up!

SlyFox: guuuuyss! stop getting distracted!

DragonMaster: rite sry

hot&feisty: 1st things 1st have u asked kaleb 2 hang out 2nite?

SlyFox: ...

Matchmaker: well u should probably do that now then

 

13:14

private chat between GodOfSchemes and SlyFox

SlyFox: hey kaleb if ur not busy 2nite u wanna hang out?

GodOfSchemes: yea sure when and where?

SlyFox: how abt 4:30 we could meet at the park and decide wat 2 do from there

GodOfSchemes: dope cya there

 

group chat 'Shipping Crew'

SlyFox: ok its done

BiMess: proof?

SlyFox: bloody hell

SlyFox: [youhappy.jpg]

hot&feisty: ok then will meet at my house at 4 and will help u get ready

DragonMaster: operation: get MG a hot boyfriend is about to start! Get ready folks

Matchmaker: r u talking 2 us??

DragonMaster: no im talking 2 the readers

SlyFox: ???

BiMess: hes finally snapped... well I'll call the psych ward

DragonMaster: fuck off

 

15:47

group chat 'Rule No.2. Answer Your Fucking Phone'

DivineArt: um so... 1 of my friends rly wants me 2 add them 2 the gc...

GodOfSchemes: it depends... r they hot??

AceHeart: srsly smh

BiMess: r they annoying? bc i dont want 2 b stuck w/ more annoying bitches

DragonHeart: yea r they good company? do we kno them

DivineArt: yes... and I think ull all b very happy actually

DivineArt has added Roman Empire to the chat

hot&feisty: omg!

SlyFox: this is

BiMess: the best day. EVER!

Roman Empire: sorry for intruding, Hope has been smiling at her phone for awhile now and she never smiles so... wanted to see what the fuss was about.

GodOfSchemes: u hear that guys

hot&feisty: hope smiles!!

DragonMaster: awe I knew u loved us!

DivineArt: jeez u don't have 2 sell me out like that!

TopDog: srry im lost... who r u?

Roman Empire: I'm Roman, I used to go to your school but I transferred

Matchmaker: hope still talks 2 him bc he transferred 2 some private school her family runs

TopDog: if ur family runs a private school y dont u go there hope??

DivineArt: bc the kids there r fake and r shitty people in general

Roman Empire: well I feel hurt

DivineArt: not u of course

Roman Empire: I know, you've made it perfectly clear I'm the only non-shitty person there

Roman Empire: And I honestly agree with you. And if you weren't here to keep me sane, even if just on the weekends, I think I'd lose my mind

BiMess: so roman... would u prefer a winter or summer wedding?

Matchmaker: ignore her

hot&feisty: hey i called dips!

BiMess: fuck u satan i dont care abt ur "dips"

AceHeart: u do remember ur both in relationships rite

Roman Empire: This is going to be... interesting

DivineArt: u have no idea

Chapter Text

Saturday

09:39

Group chat 'Shipping Crew'

DragonMaster: mg get the fuck out here and tell us wat happened!

BiMess: Yea we lost site of u

hot&feisty: spill the fucking tea bitch!

Matchmaker: What they mean to say is: did everything work out??

BiMess: no u mean that

DragonMaster: we mean: MG STOP IGNORING US

SlyFox: jeez woud y'all calm shut up im tryin' 2 sleep

hot&feisty: had a last nite did we ;)

SlyFox: We didn't fuck if thats wat u think

hot&feisty: damn it

Matchmaker: Are you together now??

SlyFox: no...

SlyFox: not really...

DragonMaster:not really?

SlyFox: well i told him i like him

SlyFox: and he told me he wasnt sure how he felt and wanted to figure some stuff out

SlyFox: so we might get together 1 say but we're gonna just be friends for rite now

BiMess: question: did we help at all!?

SlyFox: no u kinda ruined the whole evening tbh

BiMess: yeah thats wat i thought

Matchmaker: do we add kaleb back now??

hot&feisty: i suppose so...

DragonMaster has added godOfSchemes to the chat

GodOfSchemes: so uve finally come 2 ur senses and realize that im also the god of love!

DragonMaster:yeah sure lets go w/ that

 

11:08

group chat 'Rule No.2. Answer Your Fucking Phone'

hot&feisty: yo ralf we found u a strace buddy

AceHeart: a wat???

hot&feisty: a strace

BiMess: wtf u going on abt evil 1

DivineArt: by "strace" she means "straight asexual"

Roman Empire: Oh, I get it

hot&feisty: thank u!

GodOfSchemes: also u dont have 2 talk so proper dude

AceHeart: ok so who is it??

hot&feisty: its maya's brother ethan

hot&feisty: also he's hot

BiMess: maya...

BiMess: oh! the girl that found hope crying in the bathroom!

DivineArt: i wasnt crying!

BiMess: ...whatever u say

hot&feisty: anyway we ran in2 them and got 2 talking

AceHeart: yeah ik him. he was the best qb ive ever seen but now he cant play

AceHeart: didnt kno he was ace tho thats cool

hot&feisty: also every1 whos bi needs 2 meet maya cuz she is a fucking bisexual icon

DivineArt: not gonna lie, she kinda is

GodOfSchemes: she sounds dope u should add her

BiMess: u have her number rite babe?

DivineArt: i feel like we should have a 1 person per week rule

Roman Empire: yea am i not enough for u guys??

GodOfSchemes: eyyy there we go!

BiMess: will u never let me have a 3some!?

DivineArt: girlfriend for sale anyone want her?

hot&feisty: i knew this day would come!

hot&feisty: just throw her out w/ the trash

Roman Empire: those 2 do not get along do they

GodOfSchemes: nope

Ace: not 1 bit

 

14:24

private chat between DragonMaster and TopDog

DragonMaster: i need 2 bleach my eyes

TopDog: wat happened??

DragonMaster: i just walked in on Mr. Williams and Emma!!! #_#

DragonMaster: rip my soul

TopDog: THAT IS SOME TERRIBLE LUCK!!!

DragonMaster: IKR!!!!

TopDog: ITS THE WEEKEND HOW IS IT POSSIBLE 2 WALK IN ON YOUR TEACHER AND SCHOOL COUNCILER ON THE WEEKEND!?!?!?

DragonMaster: THEY WERE FUCKING IN THE WOODS!!!!!

TopDog: WHAT WERE U DOING IN THE WOODS!?!?!?!?

DragonMaster: NOT TRYING TO SEE MY TEACHER AND COUNCILER GET IT ON THATS FOR SURE

TopDog: WHY R WE STILL YELLING!?!?

DragonMaster: ...good point

TopDog: u ok baby??

DragonMaster: no

DragonMaster: idk if ill ever be ok again... not after seeing that

TopDog: wanna come over? 

DragonMaster: please!

TopDog: ill make sure theres lots 2 do so u wont even have 2 think abt 

DragonMaster: u r the best and ilysm

TopDog: ily2 even if u do have horrible luck

 

18:13

private chat between BiMess and hot&feisty

BiMess: we have a serious problem

hot&feisty: did the creepy stalker come back

BiMess: but worse

BiMess: because this time he's targeting me

hot&feisty: oh... well good luck bai!

BiMess: hold it rite there satan! ur gonna help me whether u like it or not!

hot&feisty: y should I??

BiMess: bc i said so

BiMess: and bc i live w/ josie so if he comes after me she could b in danger 2

hot&feisty: ...

hot&feisty: fine! 1st of all how'd he get ur number??

BiMess: idk he's a creepy hacker remember!?

hot&feisty: show me wat he said

BiMess: [thisguyisfuckingcreepy.jpg]

hot&feisty: I kinda feel sry 4 u elizabeth

BiMess: as u should

hot&feisty: since this guy clearly cant take no 4 an answer maybe we should try something else

BiMess: like wat??

hot&feisty: isnt it obvious?

hot&feisty: we hack the hacker