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fear the teenagers & their shenanigans

Chapter Text

[pray for us]

 

kiribabe: uh guys just wondering

 

kiribabe: who gave kami the basket of avocados

 

acid queen: kiri come on

 

acid queen: it was obv me who else

 

kiribabe: y

 

acid queen: for science

 

kiribabe: ok well u know how my room’s beside bakugou’s

 

scotchtape: oh shit

 

acid queen: oh shit

 

acid queen: pls tell me he didn’t

 

kiribabe: oh no he did

 

kiribabe: i heard him bust bakubro’s door open and yell “free shavacados” and i think he threw them at him

 

acid queen: oh denki u poor fool

 

kiribabe: and now he’s running around on our floor like a chicken w/o a head while baku screams bloody murder

 

scotchtape: alright press f to pay respects to our fallen comrade

 

acid queen: f

 

kiribabe: f

 

scotchtape: @ all the lurkers u 2

 

to infinity & beyond: f

 

bad dye job: f

 

that punk kid in every friend group: f

 

broken bone boi: f

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: f

 

diabetes: f

 

prehensile tail: f

 

arms arms arms: f

 

always tired: f

 

sparkles: f

 

susan storm: f

 

a baby: f

 

grape stain: f

 

amphibia: f

 

precious peach: f

 

precious peach: oh no wait i was supposed to help kaminari-kun study for math class later today

 

scotchtape: it’s ok yaoyorozu it’s his own fault

 

scotchtape: his and mina’s

 

acid queen: lies and slander

 

boom boom bitch: mina

 

acid queen: fuck

 

scotchtape: well that’s two of the bakugou bodyguard brigade down for the count






 

 

[the favorites]

 

hitoshit: where is he

 

bakubitch: bound & gagged w sharpie drawings all over his face in the laundry room

 

hitoshit: k good

 

hitoshit: i’d hate to have to tell dad his class is suddenly one less

 

bakubitch: yea yea wtvr he’s lucky u like him 

 

hitoshit: don’t lie kat he was ur friend before he was my boyfriend

 

bakubitch: we don’t speak of it






 

 

[pray for us]



portable charger: ur all dead to me

 

portable charger: except for iida bc he wasn’t here and hitoshi bc he’s my savior in all things

 

portable charger: but the rest of u are traitors to the cause

 

scotchtape: what was the cause denki?

 

scotchtape: death by bakublast?

 

portable charger: do not engage w me heathen

 

kiribabe: kami u brought it on urself

 

portable charger: to quote my sister in suffering “lies and slander”

 

portable charger: i thought we were squad kiri

portable charger: turns out we were just fam

 

kiribabe: that’s not even how that goes

 

portable charger: so?

 

portable charger: it still makes sense

 

scotchtape: barely

 

portable charger: and yaoyorozu

 

portable charger: angel sent from above

 

portable charger: i thought i’d at least get some help from u

 

precious peach: my apologies kaminari-kun

 

precious peach: jirou-san needed some help from me suddenly

 

portable charger: “suddenly”

 

portable charger: @that punk kid in every friend group what did i ever do to u

 

that punk kid in every friend group: dropped my air pods in the toilet

 

that punk kid in every friend group: or did u forget

 

portable charger: u have like 8 pairs!!

 

that punk kid in every friend group: ur argument changes absolutely nothing

 

that punk kid in every friend group: i would sell u to satan for one corn chip

 

portable charger: and to think i had a crush on u

 

that punk kid in every friend group: three things

 

that punk kid in every friend group:1. u’ve always been a gay disaster kami wbk

 

that punk kid in every friend group: 2. so am i 

 

that punk kid in every friend group: 3. If that ever happened it would be incest

portable charger: oh shit u rite

 

to infinity & beyond: sry u guys know i love to lurk but what

 

to infinity & beyond: im lost since when are the two of u related

 

scotchtape: rules of the squad

 

acid queen: and by that he means bakusquad

 

acid queen: also ha i really am second fav baku let me out of the dryer after ten minutes

 

broken bone boi: wait what

 

to infinity & beyond: hold on izu wait one thing at a time

 

portable charger: as we were saying

 

that punk kid in every friend group: the rules of the bakusquad, tho unwritten they may be, all of us are family

 

portable charger: (u lowkey just busted a phat rhyme i've never been more proud)

 

that punk kid in every friend group: (thx)

 

that punk kid in every friend group: and since i was basically absorbed into the bakugou bodyguard brigade after the cultural festival

 

portable charger: that means i’m her brother and she’s my sister

 

that punk kid in every friend group: so yea incest

 

acid queen: can confirm

 

scotchtape: yea they swore a blood oath and everything

 

precious peach: that can’t be sanitary

 

to infinity & beyond: or safe

 

kiribabe: nevertheless it happened

 

scotchtape: we witnessed

 

boom boom bitch: it was disgusting & kyouka shouldn’t have let denki convince her to do it

 

that punk kid in every friend group: true but i mean it’s like the only dumb thing i’ve ever done so it’s eh

 

to infinity & beyond: wait but how does that make sense

 

kiribabe: which part

 

kiribabe: kami’s brain never makes sense

 

to infinity & beyond: u guys make it sound like only jirou & kami did it

 

acid queen: well yea cuz that’s what happened

 

to infinity & beyond: but wats the point if all of u didn’t participate

 

scotchtape: yea no none of us were gonna do it, it was dumb

 

portable charger: rude

 

that punk kid in every friend group: but very true

 

precious peach: but then why do it at all jirou-san

 

that punk kid if every friend group: *sighs* kami started pouting

 

always tired: understandable

 

to infinity & beyond: i mean ig i understand??

 

broken bone boi: great so now that that’s settled

 

to infinity & beyond: wow izu thx

 

broken bone boi: sry uraraka-chan it’s just been bothering me

 

to infinity & beyond: ok ok go ahead

 

broken bone boi: @acid queen 

 

acid queen: yes mido?

 

broken bone boi: u were in the dryer??

 

acid queen: oh yea kitkat gave me the option of getting tied up like kami & getting drawn on the face or crawling into the dryer of my own free will and staying there for no less than 5 minutes

 

prehensile tail: that can’t have been comfortable

 

acid queen: before i tried it i thot the same but it surprisingly was lol

 

acid queen: twas very cozy

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: was it dark as well

 

acid queen: oh yea u’d like it tokoyami

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: i shall have to try it out

 

broken bone boi: pls don’t tokoyami-kun

 

portable charger: wait mina

 

acid queen: yesss

 

portable charger: *insert screenshot*

 

portable charger: what do u mean ur second fav i thot i was second fave

 

acid queen: oh denki denki denki

 

scotchtape: how wrong u are

 

that punk kid in every friend group: blood brother pls

 

scotchtape: im second fav

 

that punk kid in every friend group: im second fav

 

acid queen: im obv second fav

 

acid queen: wait what

 

scotchtape: i disagree

 

that punk kid in every friend group: ditto

 

portable charger: ur all delusional

 

portable charger: @boom boom bitch speak the truth and teach my brothers and sisters a lesson

 

boom boom bitch: i can neither confirm nor deny any such allegations

 

acid queen: dammit

 

that punk kid in every friend group: dammit

 

that punk kid in every friend group: dammit

 

portable charger:^^

 

grape stain: wait but then who’s first favorite

 

that punk kid in every friend group: mineta how out of touch r u

 

to infinity & beyond: u shouldn’t even need to ask

 

precious peach: ^^

 

broken bone boi: ^^

 

scotchtape:^^

 

boom boom bitch: ^^

 

always tired:^^

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: ^^

 

acid queen: ^^

 

prehensile tail: ^^

 

kiribabe: its me :)

 

grape stain: makes sense






 

 

 

 

Iida Tenya: Everyone, I thought we agreed this group chat was only to be used in times of distress or for other more professional matters! Who has changed the group name?

 

bad dye job: u can’t tell me u actually expected to put all 21 of us in one gc and keep it professional iida

 

Iida Tenya: I had hope that would be the case, Todoroki-kun.

 

bad dye job: it was false hope

 

amphibia: i agree with todoroki-kun, this was never going to be that iida-kun

 

portable charger: also i changed the name

 

portable charger: bc lady luck hates us and we’re always getting caught up in villain shit

 

portable charger: but mostly bc mY GRADES

 

scotchtape: lol

 

portable charger: i did not deign to grant you speech judas

 

scotchtape: good thing i texted then

 

diabetes: bakugou may i borrow from your ingredient inventory

 

diabetes: @boom boom bitch i ran out of cinammon

 

boom boom bitch: yea just buy some more if you use all of it

 

diabetes: of course, thank you again

 

acid queen: wait satou r u baking rn

 

diabetes: i am ashido-san

 

portable charger: may we have some

 

acid queen: pls

 

diabetes: none of u are allergic to cinammon rolls yes?

portable charger: i mean i’m allergic to TRAITORS but other than that no

 

that punk kid in every friend group: oml kami calm ur shit already that was three hours ago

 

portable charger: NEVER

 

that punk kid in every friend group: in case u’ve forgotten satou left u for dead too yknow

 

portable charger: yes but he’s going to feed me so all is forgiven

 

that punk kid in every friend group: i regret that blood pact

 

portable charger: for the third time

 

portable charger: LIES AND SLANDER

 

boom boom bitch: jesus stfu already i’m trying to study

 

portable charger: but-

 

boom boom bitch: shut up and move on and i’ll make u dinner

 

portable charger: holy fuck all of u guys come here for a hug ilysm

 

portable charger: see jirou

 

portable charger: whereas u would sell me to satan for one corn chip, i would absolve all of u of ur sins for kat’s homecooking

 

portable charger: bc im NICE and a GIVER

 

boom boom bitch: denki wtf did i just say

 

portable charger: sry yes im shutting up now






 

[the favorites]



hitoshit: i-

 

bakubitch: calm ur tits ik i’ll make some for u too

 

hitoshit: have i ever mentioned how glad i am to be ur honorary bro

 

bakubitch: u mean how glad u are that dad told me to make sure ur ass eats three meals a day

 

hitoshit: that too






Chapter Text

[vice-prez]



boom boom bitch: momo take the fucking avocados

 

precious peach: ah but bakugou-kun, kaminari-kun gave those to u

 

boom boom bitch: the dumbass knows i didn’t want them then and i don’t want them now

 

boom boom bitch: got no fucking use for that shit

 

boom boom bitch: they’re high in lipids anyway so they’re perfect for u ponytail

 

precious peach: then i accept, thank u very much

 

boom boom bitch: wtvr

 

boom boom bitch: ur studying w pikachu again tonight right?

 

precious peach: yes i am

 

boom boom bitch: he got a bad score on the last history exam so try and go over that shit too

 

boom boom bitch: he gets depressed when he falls behind & it’s fucking exhausting

 

precious peach: i will make sure to do just that 

 

boom boom bitch: good



 

 

 

 

 

 

[the favorites]



bakubitch: did u use up all my moisturizer

 

hitoshit: probably y

 

bakubitch: refill that shit then dumbass

 

hitoshit: what but u don’t even use it anyway

 

hitoshit: i thought one of the perks of your quirk was perfect skin

 

hitoshit: isn’t glycerin moisturizing?

 

bakubitch: it’s not for me stupid

 

bakubitch: i keep it there to remind eijirou to use it

 

hitoshit: does he have really dry skin or smth?

 

bakubitch: his quirk is skin hardening fucktard

 

bakubitch: it dries him up like a desert

 

bakubitch: he goes through lotion like water so he’s always running out

 

bakubitch: besides with how much time he and the idiot squad spend in my room, sometimes he forgets and it’s uncomfortable asf for him

 

bakubitch: at least tell me if ur gonna use it too, i’ll just get more next time

 

hitoshit: shit i had no idea

 

hitoshit: sorry kat, i’ll go and buy a few bottles after classes end

 

bakubitch: hn






 

 

 

[the only one i trust with the aux cord]



god on the drums: hanta looked weird in aizawa’s today

 

main vocal: i think i overheard him say his arms were hurting when we finished with pe 

 

god on the drums: he’s usually better at not overworking himself, what’s going on

 

main vocal: it’s not that, he didn’t overuse his quirk or anything

 

main vocal: ‘m pretty sure it’s just buildup

 

main vocal: i don’t think he can massage them very well by himself

 

god on the drums: i’ve given him this lesson at least three times

 

main vocal: yea but i mean it’s still new, he’s never had to work his quirk this hard before ua

 

main vocal: he doesn’t have practice at taking care of it

 

god on the drums: fucking fine i'll deal w it







 

 

[trouble]



pink menace: hey so is all might like

 

handler: istg ashido if ur gonna talk about the percentage of dilf u think he is again

 

handler: i’m shoving u in that dryer and putting u on tumble

 

pink menace: omg no i’m still debating on that

 

pink menace: i haven’t decided on a definitive number yet

 

handler: jesus

 

pink menace: anyway

 

pink menace: do u think him & mido’s mom have smth going on or wtvr

 

handler: wtf no

 

handler: auntie would never

 

handler: he may be my childhood hero but i’d have to beat his ass

 

handler: deku hasn’t seen his dad in years but his parents r still going strong

 

handler: i’d need to report the man for homewrecking

 

handler: the fuck brought that on

 

pink menace: oh well

 

pink menace: i mean he favors mido so much ykno? and it’s like, i’m not bothered by it or anything cuz izu’s pretty sweet but 

 

pink menace: those two seem to talk a lot and i always wondered

 

handler: aint it just cuz their quirks are similar and deku’s fucking hopeless w his

 

pink menace: true mido is a hot mess abt it but still

 

pink menace: it’s incharresting

 

pink menace: also u kno i luv gossip so if there’s sum there then i wanna kno it

 

handler: deku’s literally walking scar tissue mina that’s it

 

pink menace: is it tho?

 

handler: mina i’m telling u it is

 

pink menace: idk…

 

handler: no ashido u don’t get it

 

handler: i’m TELLING u that’s what it is

 

handler: let it lie

 

pink menace: oH

 

pink menace: ok kat, i’ll stop digging

 

handler: good

 

handler: now come to the kitchen u lil shit i made extra okonomiyaki

 

pink menace: oo yes pls






 

 

 

 

[constant supervision required]



beyond the best: u and all might need to be more fucking subtle 

 

professional deku: wait what

 

professional deku: did smth happen kacchan

 

beyond the best: mina started noticing how much u guys talk

 

beyond the best: i nipped it in the bud but ffs from now on be more creative w ur excuses and stop being so obvious

 

professional deku: thanks again kacchan

 

professional deku: i’ll try







 

 

 

 

[pray for us]



Iida Tenya: Everyone! Don’t forget what Present Mic-san said about a test next week! I wanted to remind all of you just in case you want to get some studying in ahead of time like I am.

 

portable charger: thx class prez but i’m actually good to go on that front

 

susan storm: really kaminari-kun?

 

portable charger: ehh that’s mean hagakuuree

 

susan storm: oh i’m sorry, i wasn’t trying to be rude, i was just a bit surprised is all

 

scotchtape: don’t sweat it hagakure

 

scotchtape: kami’s just bizarrely good at english

 

amphibia: i sometimes forget kaminari-kun’s in the top five for that class

 

amphibia: so don’t sweat it, u aren’t the only one tooru-chan

 

susan storm: thanks asui-chan

 

kiribabe: tbh we're squad but even i forget

 

portable charger: thx kiri

 

kiribabe: luv u bro

 

arms arms arms: has anyone seen tokoyami

 

arms arms arms: also thank u for the reminder iida

 

portable charger: u mean @dark shadow’s alter ego

 

portable charger: y u lookin

 

arms arms arms: we usually go to the gym together around this time but i haven’t been able to find him

 

broken bone boi: sry abt that shoji-kun

 

broken bone boi: he’s w me, aoyama-kun, and todoroki in the basement

 

broken bone boi: he mentioned wanting to work on controlling dark shadow in the pitch dark and asked for help just in case smth goes wrong

 

broken bone boi: they’re finishing up rn, i’ll tell him ur looking for him

 

broken bone boi: we should be back in five minutes

 

arms arms arms: ah alright then, i’ll wait in the living room

 

portable charger: oh since ur coming over here, wanna play scrabble w me and mineta?

 

grape stain: i wouldn’t

 

grape stain: i agreed to play bc i also had forgotten how good he was at english

 

grape stain: he’s 200 points ahead

 

kiribabe: rip

 

portable charger: i’m amazing

 

always tired: u are and i’m glad u said it

 

to infinity & beyond: count on shinsou-kun to reply just to compliment his boyfriend

 

to infinity & beyond: i love love

 

grape stain: shinsou u made him blush

 

always tired: nice

 

grape stain: oh dude do it again, he’s too distracted to think straight

 

that punk kid in every friend group: well duh that’s cuz he gay

 

grape stain: u know what i mean

 

always tired: nah, i don’t wanna make him lose

 

always tired: i can always compliment him another time

 

boom boom bitch: hitoshit says that and it’s probably true but he’s also facedown and dead on his bed from pulling an allnighter training w aizawa-sensei again so who tf knows

 

always tired: y must u expose me like this

 

boom boom bitch: bc ur a little bitch

 

always tired: it’s not my fault the closest convenience store closed bc the store owner’s wife went into labor

 

always tired: i’ll buy the stuff tmrw scouts honor

 

boom boom bitch: u were never a boyscout u loser don’t even try

 

always tired: fine then on my honor as a brother

 

kiribabe: woo that’s a serious promise there shinbro u sure abt that

 

scotchtape: ^^

 

acid queen: ^^

 

that punk kid in every friend group: ^^

 

broken bone boi: sometimes i forget kacchan took one look at shinsou that first day he joined our class, called him hellspawn, and claimed him as fam

 

acid queen: no no mido, u’ve got it all wrong

 

acid queen: kitkat claimed him as soon as that fight with him & class b

 

scotchtape: baku was impressed

 

boom boom bitch: hanta refrain from complimenting the infidel for the moment

 

to infinity & beyond: u didn’t deny it bakugou-kun

 

boom boom bitch: uraraka 

 

to infinity & beyond: yes i understand i’ll shut up now

 

boom boom bitch: good

 

boom boom bitch: anyway hitoshit u better be taking this srsly

 

always tired: yea yea, tomorrow

 

always tired: just let me crash for tonight

 

portable charger: sweet dreams hitoshi

 

always tired: thx babe

 

portable charger: i-

 

grape stain: oh sweet i won!









 

[the favorites]



bakubitch: i left sum okonomiyaki in the fridge

 

bakubitch: make sure to eat when u wake up asshat

 

bakubitch: ur too fucking skinny

 

hitoshit: luv u too kat









 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[fuck the sports festival]



two-tone: hey bakugou

 

two-tone: let’s go on a date

 

 

 

 

 

one and only: pardon the fck

Chapter Text

[fuck the sports festival]

 

 

one and only: half n half 

 

one and only: are u in danger

 

one and only: is a villain making u say these things

 

one and only: who is this

 

one and only: istg if u don’t give icyhot his fucking phone

 

one and only: i will find u and i will sic endeavor on u

 

one and only: do u have any idea what burning flesh smells like

 

one and only: u will die sCREAMING

 

two-tone: bakugou i can assure u it is me texting

 

one and only: i dont believe that for one second u rat bastard who is this

 

two-tone : * todo_selfie.jpg*

 

one and only: don’t get all proud of urself now u sick bitch

 

one and only: that selfie could be from weeks ago

 

two-tone: bakugou do i really seem like the kind of person to keep pictures of myself on my phone, much less for prolonged periods of time

 

one and only: ok so maybe icyhot’s not a vain shitstick

 

one and only: it’s going to take more than that to convince me asshat

 

two-tone: u saw me leave with uraraka, midoriya, and iida earlier yes

 

one and only: yea so

 

two-tone : *dekusquad at a cafe_selfie.jpg*

 

one and only: icyhot’s such an awkward fuck who even puts up peace signs anymore

 

two-tone: rude

 

two-tone: also uraraka says she’s finally gonna beat ur deadlift record soon

 

one and only: round face wishes

 

one and only: but fucking fine, i’ll bite

 

one and only: say i believe u and u are shitty half n half

 

one and only: what the fuck

 

one and only: and i repeat wHAT THE FUCK

 

one and only: are u out of ur goddamn mind

 

one and only: in what realm of existence did u deem it a sound decision to ask me

 

one and only: bakugou katsuki

 

one and only: future lord explosion murder

 

one and only: on a date

 

two-tone: it’s my understanding that one typically asks such questions of those they seek intimacy from

 

one and only: oh my god i-

 

one and only: did deku put u up to this

 

one and only: did u eat smth funky

 

one and only: leave that cafe rn and tell endeavor to sue

 

one and only: u’ve been poisoned

 

one and only: we’re not even friends u fuckhead where did that come from

 

two-tone: but we are friends

 

one and only: NO WE’RE FUCKING NOT

 

two-tone: yes we are

 

one and only: N O

 

two-tone: i’m confused

 

one and only: not as much as me bitch

 

two-tone: u met my family tho??

 

one and only: I DIDNT WANT TO

 

two-tone: u asked for my sister’s mapo tofu recipe

 

one and only: HOW DOES THIS CORRELATE TO U SUDDENLY WANTING TO DATE ME THE FUCK

 

two-tone: i merely would like to get to know u more

 

two-tone: my sister has already stated that she thinks we would be a good match

 

one and only: IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD-

 

two-tone: will tmrw be acceptable

 

two-tone: i have already acquired two tickets to the movie theatre

 

one and only: i thought u and the loser squad were hanging out

 

one and only: how tf did u even find the time

 

two-tone: iida and midoriya have been debating the benefits of caffeine on a hero’s productivity for the past twenty minutes

 

two-tone: which, i never took midoriya for a coffee fanatic

 

one and only: the rest of u extras don’t wake up as early as the two of us do

 

one and only: shitty nerd lives on that stuff, istg those aren’t freckles, those are ground coffee beans and they’ve manifested on his skin

 

two-tone: i see

 

two-tone: also uraraka is steadily ordering everything on the menu while they’re distracted

 

two-tone: i had time to buy the tickets online while observing both these things happen

 

one and only: ok, that still doesn’t mean i’m saying yes

 

one and only: i could be fucking studying during that time y would i willingly spend more time with u than i have to

 

two-tone: i was under the assumption u were very excited to watch the new all might movie

 

one and only: wait I Am Here is what they’re playing at the theater?

 

two-tone: yes

 

one and only: ....

 

one and only: let me be absolutely fucking clear

 

one and only: i’m going to that movie and whether u follow me or not it’s up to u

 

one and only: it is, in no way shape or form, a date

 

one and only: got that icyhot?

 

two-tone: i’ll be waiting in the living room tmrw at noon

 

two-tone: shinsou also told me abt ur pet feline so i found a good cat cafe to visit after

 

one and only: bitch-







 

 

 

 

 

[the favorites]

 

bakubitch: it’s as if u want me to commit murder

 

hitoshit: what’d i do this time

 

bakubitch: u eXpOSed mE hEaTHeN

 

hitoshit: i dont remember telling anyone u have a height kink

bakubitch: so help me god i will end u

 

hitoshit: nice, anything to keep me from spar sessions w dad tonight

 

bakubitch: i hope he beats u into the ground

 

hitoshit: really feeling the love there kats thx

 

bakubitch: shitstick u told fucking half n half abt the cats

 

hitoshit: oh

 

hitoshit: oh yea

 

hitoshit: but in all fairness, sekhmet wandered her way from the teachers’ dorm while u were at the gym a couple days ago and i had to wrangle her out

 

hitoshit: except ur child is just as much of a brat as u and scratched me so many times i had to enlist help

 

hitoshit: endeavor’s offspring just happened to be in the kitchen when it went down

 

hitoshit: i don’t see y u need to pitch a bitchfit abt it tho

 

bakubitch: he asked me out on a date shin

 

hitoshit: oH  SHI T

 

hitoshit: i-

 

Hitoshit: he’s dumber than i expected

 

hitoshit: HOLY HELL

 

hitoshit: aw wait fuck dad’s gonna kill him

 

hitoshit: well i mean is his last night on earth gonna be worthwhile at least

 

bakubitch: it’s to an all might movie

 

hitoshit: literally anyone else and i would say he wasted his shot but ur such a fucking nerd so smart choice i guess?

 

bakubitch: and a fucking cat cafe after what is my life

 

hitoshit: oke so he’s tryna get in ur good graces first thing

 

hitoshit: ig he’s srs abt u giving him a chance kat

 

hitoshit: im guessing ur going??

 

bakubitch: fml

 

hitoshit: todoroki’s around 5’9 right? i’ll get his casket made

 

bakubitch: if u don’t keep this on the dl then we’re no longer brothers

 

hitoshit: duh

 

hitoshit: but also

 

hitoshit: u don’t actually think dad’s not gonna find out

 

bakubitch: for the sake of icyhot’s pro-hero career, he better pray he doesn’t

 

hitoshit: rip









 

 

 

[she doesn’t even go here]



hallucinogenic: babe y r my ‘suki senses going off

 

DIEnamite: fuck u camie

 

hallucinogenic: we both know u don’t bat for my team sweetheart

 

hallucinogenic: BUT OMG AMIRITE

 

hallucinogenic: WHAT HAPPENED BB

 

DIEnamite: nothing u will ever know about

 

hallucinogenic: it’s cute how u think that









 

 

 

 

 

[specialty: demolition]




energizer bunny: um where’s baku going at noon on a saturday

 

corrosive bodily fluids: idk y don’t we ask him 

 

corrosive bodily fluids: where u headed 2 kitkat @supreme leader

 

energizer bunny: sCRACTH THAT

 

energizer bunny: @supreme leader WHERE U HEADING AT NOON ON A SATURDAY

 

energizer bunny: WITH TODOROKI

 

corrosive bodily fluids: EXCUSE ME WHAT

 

corrosive bodily fluids: KAMI U NEED TO MENTION THAT SHIT BEFORE I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF TO SHOWER WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS INFO NOW

 

corrosive bodily fluids: IM TWO SECONDS FROM STREAKING OUT OF THE SHOWERS YOU IDIOT

 

insert bondage joke: mina pls don’t

 

rock hard: pls pls don’t

 

hard rock: do it mina

 

insert bondage joke: don’t encourage her jirou

 

hard rock: u have no power here gandalf stormcrow

 

rock hard: jirou don’t encourage her

 

hard rock: *sighs* if the first fav says then ig i have to obey

 

corrosive bodily fluids: I THREW ON A TOWEL IM HEADING DOWN

 

energizer bunny: IT’S TOO LATE THEY JUST LEFT

 

corrosive bodily fluids: WELL FUCK U TOO DENKI

 

energizer bunny: AKSLD WHAT DID I DO

 

corrosive bodily fluids: U COULDNT STALL THEM DUMBASS??

 

energizer bunny: kat came down the stairs glaring at me to try and say smth 

 

energizer bunny: i wouldve been ANNIHILATED

 

corrosive bodily fluids: pussy

 

energizer bunny: that is rude and unnecessary and i completely take offense

 

corrosive bodily fluids: wtvr im heading back to the showers

 

corrosive bodily fluids: at least tell us what kitkat was wearing

 

energizer bunny: no ur mean

 

corrosive bodily fluids: kiri he’s accusing me of grievous misdeeds again

 

rock hard: i see that

 

corrosive bodily fluids: ah and yet no defending of my virtues

 

corrosive bodily fluids: what ever happened to knight in shining armor, paragon of chivalry, kiri

 

corrosive bodily fluids: i miss him

 

rock hard: he’s on break rn, im too busy trying not to strangle midoriya

 

corrosive bodily fluids: *scandalized gasp* a sunshine boi? trying to strangle another sunshine boi?

 

corrosive bodily fluids: what has become of this world

 

hard rock: lol ever since aizawa-sensei partnered the two of them up for the latest project, kiri’s discovered just how much of an antichrist mido becomes over essays

 

insert bondage joke: it’s funny when it’s not u, i’m just glad it wasn’t me this time

 

rock hard: i’ve seen him drink three pots of coffee and it’s not even 1pm yet

 

rock hard: i don’t think he’s slept

 

rock hard: our documents 15 pages long

 

rock hard: 1 5 

 

rock hard: i wrote a paragraph yesterday before going to bed

 

rock hard: he’s literally just rambling for 15 pages someone kill me

 

corrosive bodily fluids: bite ur tongue eiji we’d never survive without u

 

corrosive bodily fluids: also this got hella sidetracked, @energizer bunny answer my question

 

energizer bunny: pay me

 

corrosive bodily fluids: i won’t tell kat u stole the muffin satou left for him in the fridge

 

energizer bunny: shit ok now delete that message

 

-corrosive bodily fluids has deleted 1 message-

 

corrosive bodily fluids: now speak

 

energizer bunny: tbh nothing to lose ur shit abt

 

energizer bunny: jeans, a hoodie, standard face mask

 

energizer bunny: kinda boring if ya ask me

 

corrosive bodily fluids: jeans which jeans

 

corrosive bodily fluids: the best jeanist jeans

 

insert bondage joke: lmao the one’s u tried to steal cuz they’re branded and therefore expensive

 

hard rock: the ones that wouldn’t fit her cuz apparently kat’s got the trimmest waist out of all of us?

 

corrosive bodily fluids: oh kyouka sweet kyouka

 

corrosive bodily fluids: that wasn’t the reason

 

corrosive bodily fluids: had they been high-waisted, perhaps

 

corrosive bodily fluids: but they were not and it’s completely cuz kittykat does more squats than i do

 

hard rock: ur right he is dummy thicc

 

insert bondage joke: i luv choking on my water at 12:25 in the afternoon

 

hard rock: we live to entertain

 

corrosive bodily fluids: ^^

 

corrosive bodily fluids: now kami stop ghosting

 

energizer bunny: sry me and hitoshi are in the teachers dorms petting his cats

 

corrosive bodily fluids: ur a lucky bastard but answer me

 

energizer bunny: no they weren’t the best jeanist jeans

 

corrosive bodily fluids: damn ok so no skinnies, just a hoodie, and the same old mask

 

corrosive bodily fluids: then it’s not a date laaame

 

insert bondage joke: what makes u think just cuz he didn’t dress up it’s not a date

 

corrosive bodily fluids: idk i always thought kat would be more of a thot if he was going on a date w someone

 

corrosive bodily fluids: especially someone who looks like todoroki

 

rock hard: u know ur not on private right

 

corrosive bodily fluids: meh he knows i talk smack abt him on the reg

 

hard rock: maybe todoroki likes the comfy look

 

corrosive bodily fluids: to each their own i suppose

 

corrosive bodily fluids: alright im finna shower, bye for now bitches

 

insert bondage joke: yuh

 

insert bondage joke: yo kami

 

energizer bunny: yessir

 

insert bondage joke: how r the cats

 

energizer bunny: :’) top tier fluffballs

 

insert bondage joke: nice :’)








 

[pink legion]



ochacutie: oH do i have the teA for u mina

 

minadorable: i knew i could count on u

Chapter Text

[specialty: demolition]



corrosive bodily fluids: how was ur date @supreme leader

 

supreme leader: i hope u choke on ur tongue & die

 

energizer bunny: FCK SO IT WAS A DATE HOLY

 

hard rock: damn baku get it

 

insert bondage joke: it’s like u guys r asking for an explosion to the face

 

corrosive bodily fluids: it’s worth it

 

supreme leader: mina i swear to fuck

 

corrosive bodily fluids: swear all u like kittykat i’m not dropping it

 

supreme leader: devil child

 

corrosive bodily fluids: u flattererΨ( ̄∀ ̄)Ψ

 

supreme leader: how tf did u even find out

 

corrosive bodily fluids: ocha and i keep no secrets from one another

 

corrosive bodily fluids: she read over todoroki’s shoulder at dekusquad’s outing yesterday

 

supreme leader: i’m gonna make her eat dirt for dinner that bitch

 

supreme leader: and it wasn’t a date jesus fuck

 

corrosive bodily fluids: he took u to a movie and a cat cafe

 

hard rock: yea todoroki always looked like a slick bastard

 

corrosive bodily fluids: an ALL MIGHT movie

 

energizer bunny: dAMN HE WAS SRS

 

insert bondage joke: is it too soon for a shovel talk

 

insert bondage joke @rock hard get in here we must discuss

 

supreme leader: FUCK OFF STUPID EXTRAS

 

corrosive bodily fluids: OH MY GOD

 

hard rock: what happened now

 

corrosive bodily fluids : * baku wearing fluffy black cat ears_jpg *

 

corrosive bodily fluids: JESUS KAT R U TRYING TO KILL US W THE CUTE

 

insert bondage joke: oh so when u said cat cafe u meant Meow Town in the mall

 

insert bondage joke: yea i’ve been there before w my sister they have a policy of making customers wear cat ears when they come in

 

supreme leader: FUCK U HORNS HOW DID U EVEN GET THAT PICTURE U SHITTY STALKER WHAT THE HELL

 

corrosive bodily fluids: luv todoroki snuck it when u werent looking and then sent it off to ocha cuz she insisted on updates

 

supreme leader: HALF N HALF’S DEAD I’M GONNA KILL HIM

 

energizer bunny: idk bakubro aizawa-sensei might get a lil peeved abt suddenly losing a student at the start of the new sem

 

rock hard: yeah i doubt it

 

insert bondage joke: !!there u are dude! where were u

 

rock hard: editing mine and midoriya’s paper, sry

 

rock hard: (update, we got it down to 5 pages now)

 

insert bondage joke: (proud of u)

 

rock hard: (thanks)

 

rock hard: as for sensei, if he didn't already know baku went on a date

 

rock hard: well when he finds out...

 

hard rock: lol shit i totally forgot

 

energizer bunny: forgot what?

 

hard rock: kami it’s not just ur boyfriend aizawa took under his wing

 

hard rock: havent u noticed him paying more attention to kat lately

 

hard rock: he’s totally been adopted

 

energizer bunny: oh damn

 

insert bondage joke: dadzawa abt to go oFF

 

insert bondage joke: anyone wanna place bets on when it’ll go down

 

corrosive bodily fluids: pls hanta do u know who ur talking to

 

corrosive bodily fluids: ive got dibs on tuesday

 

hard rock: u think he’ll last that long? put it in writing, i’m calling monday tops

 

energizer bunny: idk guys, with aizawa’s detective skills and freaky scary ability to smell our bs? i feel like todoroki has maybe till sunday night at best

 

insert bondage joke: i’m with mina for tuesday, todoroki’s pretty good at keeping a secret when he wants to

 

corrosive bodily fluids: nice, wbu kiri?

 

rock hard: doesn’t sekhmet usually get especially prickly when she feels smth diff with baku? i feel like dadzawa might already know tbh

 

energizer bunny: oh holy shit bro ur right

 

energizer bunny: usually she at least lets me get close to her since kat’s basically claimed all of us

 

energizer bunny: but earlier at the teachers’ dorms she just hissed at me and hitoshi

 

energizer bunny: fuck no wonder he looked like he was gonna be sick

 

corrosive bodily fluids: damn it kiri

 

insert bondage joke: we really should know by now that he has a sense for this shit

 

hard rock: glad we nvr gave an actual amnt in cash 

 

hard rock: also is it just me or has bakugou not been texting for a while

 

energizer bunny: is there?? going to be a murder???

 

corrosive bodily fluids: i hope so i was starting to get bored just scrolling through my feed

 

rock hard: mina he’s gonna go after uraraka first u kno that right

 

corrosive bodily fluids: she can take him

 

corrosive bodily fluids: worst comes to worse they both get black eyes

 

hard rock: ashido i really respect ur dedication to the brand of chaotic evil

 

corrosive bodily fluids: thx kyouka ( ˘ ³˘)♥








 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[maybe i respect u maybe i don’t]



explosive edgelord: meet me in the fucking pit shitstick

 

gravity bitch: if ur feeling up to it headass









 

 

 

 

[pray for us]



broken bone boi: can someone pls tell me y uraraka and kacchan stepped out of the dorms for a bit and came back with split lips and bruised knuckles

 

broken bone boi: who started it this time

 

boom boom bitch: fucking round face did, shitty deku

 

to infinity & beyond: *supposedly* i did

 

boom boom bitch: u did u bitch own up to it

 

boom boom bitch: and come to the fucking kitchen already so i can ice ur face

 

to infinity & beyond: one sec, i kno i stored sum extra bandages in the living room

 

portable charger: srsly u two r so weird

 

portable charger: ur beating each other into the ground one second and then patching each other up the next

 

acid queen: they’re brawlers kami, it’s how they communicate

 

broken bone boi: i wish they’d be more careful at least, the two of them always go all out

 

amphibia: i don’t think u can talk midoriya-kun, given ur relationship w bakugou is very similar

 

broken bone boi: tsuyu-chan i-

 

scotchtape: lmao she roasted u good midoriya

 

portable charger: big oof

 

acid queen: a wholeass savage

 

Iida Tenya: Bakugou-kun! Uraraka-san! Please refrain from fighting each other outside of training! It is detrimental to your education and overall class relations!

 

to infinity & beyond: it’s fine iida-kun, we both know there’s no hard feelings

 

Iida Tenya: Still! I must insist!

 

boom boom bitch: yo glasses, don’t u have homework to be doing?

 

Iida Tenya: I’m afraid I cannot leave to work on that until I am assured you both understand, Bakugou-kun! No more fighting!

 

boom boom bitch: yea yea wtvr

 

Iida Tenya: Uraraka-san?

 

to infinity & beyond: yes i understand iida-kun

 

Iida Tenya: Then good afternoon to you all, I shall be taking my leave.

 

boom boom bitch: …

 

boom boom bitch: is he gone

 

to infinity & beyond: i think so 

 

boom boom bitch: thank fuck i can finally say sike

 

that punk kid in every friend group: lol knew it










 

 

 

 

 

[non-biological pains in the ass]



sleep-deprived burrito father: katsuki do i need to have a talk with todoroki

 

explosion son: fuck no u didn’t have a talk w denki when him and hitoshi started dating

 

sleep-deprived son: don’t drag me into this pls

 

explosion son: and me and icyhot aren’t even dating

 

sleep-deprived burrito father: but the two of you did go on a date yes?

 

explosion son: it wasn’t a date shit we just saw a movie together and went to pet some cats afterwards

 

sleep-deprived burrito father: i suppose the intricacies of your relationship can stay between you while you figure it out

 

sleep-deprived burrito father: but once you do, i’ll be needing an answer then

 

explosion son: fuck fine wtvr

 

explosion son: now go back to sleep u eldritch creature

 

sleep-deprived burrito father: hn











 

 

 

[fuck the sports festival]



two-tone: thank u for indulging me, i had fun

 

two-tone: would it be alright if we did it again next weekend?

 

one and only: stop sending updates to fucking round face and yea maybe

 

two-tone: that’s doable

 

two-tone: do u have any specific place or activity in mind?

 

one and only: yea actually i do half n half

 

one and only: any chance you’ve ever ice-skated to go with that quirk of yours?

 

two-tone: i can’t say i have

 

one and only: then next saturday, same time

 

one and only: and dress nice

 

one and only: if u get to take pictures of me then u can fucking bet i’m gonna do the same to u

 

one and only: and i refuse to have tacky bitches in my camera roll

 

two-tone: of course 

 

Chapter Text

[pray for us]



susan storm: bow down heathens

 

susan storm: u all wish u were me

 

susan storm: i’ve won the lottery of life

 

susan storm: kneel peasants

 

prehensile tail: ??

 

acid queen: ^^ wat happened to tooru

 

broken bone boi: hagakure-san? did smth happen

 

to infinity & beyond: i fucking knew it

 

to infinity & beyond: tooru i’ll give u sum pocky from my special stash if u share

 

susan storm: i’m sry uraraka-chan i can’t

 

susan storm: it’s too good

 

susan storm: i can’t stop eating

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: i’m confused

 

arms arms arms: me as well

 

diabetes: hagakure’s sick

 

susan storm: yuh midnight sent me to the nurse before class started after i mentioned not feeling well

 

susan storm: then recov girl sent me to the dorms cuz apparently i had a 41° fever? she cured it but now i'm really tired so she said i need to rest and eat

 

susan storm: lol who knew

 

amphibia: pls take care of urself better tooru-chan

 

susan storm: i’ll try asui-chan

 

kiribabe: get some rest hagakure, i hope u feel better soon

 

susan storm: thx kiri

 

prehensile tail: i am so sorry

 

susan storm: ?? not ur fault ojiro no need to apologize

 

prehensile tail: no i’m sorry i didn’t even notice u were missing

 

susan storm: ah i see

 

acid queen: damn oji that was harsh

 

prehensile tail: i’m sorry! u know we sit very far from each other during midnight’s class, i didn’t even think to look

 

prehensile tail: i’m so sorry

 

susan storm: lol it’s ok i was just teasing

 

susan storm: i’m in too much of a good mood to be down rn

 

broken bone boi: ??

 

to infinity & beyond: tooru pls

 

to infinity & beyond: i’m willing to beg

 

to infinity & beyond: just save me a litttle pls

 

susan storm: too late ura-chan

 

susan storm: i just finished

 

portable charger: i’m so lost

 

scotchtape: nothing new there

 

that punk kid in every friend group: isn’t that the case all the time?

 

scotchtape: jirou turn around and low five me

 

that punk kid in every friend group: i gotchu

 

Iida Tenya: Everyone! I would remind you that we are still in class! You should not be on your phones just because Midnight-sensei has her back turned!

 

bad dye job: iida what does it say abt u that ur on ur phone as well

 

portable charger: ok todobro going iN

 

portable charger: also i hope u choke @that punk kid in every friend group @scotchtape

 

Iida Tenya: I merely used it to issue a warning to all of you!

 

bad dye job: if ur sure 

 

broken bone boi: wait hold on

 

broken bone boi: where’s kacchan?

 

bad dye job: yes i noticed he was missing as well

 

to infinity & beyond: HAGAKURE PLS

 

to infinity & beyond: I HAVEN’T HAD A PROPER MEAL IN WEEKS

 

susan storm: i’m sorryyyy, it was gone before i even noticed

 

diabetes: @broken bone boi i got there pretty early cuz i had to talk to her abt a worksheet and i saw bakugou come into class around the same time as hagakure so midnight told him to make sure she made it to recovery girl okay

 

diabetes: i’m assuming recovery girl tasked him with taking care of her in light of her fatigue

 

acid queen: W AIT

 

portable charger: hOLD UP

 

acid queen: TOORU U LUCKY BITCH

 

portable charger: BLASTY COOKED FOR U DIDN’T HE

 

susan storm: yes omg it was so good

 

scotchtape: happy for u fam

 

scotchtape: rip denki and mina

 

that punk kid in every friend group: looool

 

acid queen: sero, jirou i swear to fuck

 

portable charger: don’t gloat it’s not nice :(

 

kiribabe: its u guys’ own faults for making bakugou mad

 

broken bone boi: ok so kacchan’s gone bc he’s taking care of hagakure-san 

 

broken bone boi: but what’s up with ashido-san and kaminari-kun

 

kiribabe: bakugou took their squad rights to his cooking after kami did some dumb shit again

 

that punk kid in every friend group: and by dumb shit kiri means he accidentally sat on kat’s homework a couple nights ago

 

broken bone boi: and ashido-san?

 

acid queen: confidential info sry mido

 

broken bone boi: i understand

 

boom boom bitch: fucking hell i leave to go to the bathroom while invisibitch is eating and u shitty extras blow up my phone

 

boom boom bitch: headasses pay attention in class 

 

boom boom bitch: kyouka kami mina hanta u better be able to come back to the dorms and explain what u learned

 

scotchtape: aight i’m out

 

that punk kid in every friend group: goodbye all

 

acid queen: peace fambam

 

portable charger: that's no fair, call out kiri too

 

portable charger: he was on his phone as well

 

boom boom bitch: except unlike the four of u ik for a fact shitty hair’s paying attention

 

boom boom bitch: cuz i’m the one responsible for tutoring his ass and he knows better than to slack off

 

portable charger: fiiiine

 

to infinity & beyond: k so yes ur squad’s cute and all we know that already but can i pls have sum food

 

to infinity & beyond: i’m pretty sure i’ve eaten enough ramen the past couple weeks that my heart is pumping broth at this point

 

boom boom bitch: round face u fucking kno what u did

 

boom boom bitch: y would i reward u

 

to infinity & beyond: ughhh but we settled that on saturdayyy

 

to infinity & beyond: i’m desperate here

 

boom boom bitch: fucking fine but u OWE me

 

to infinity & beyond: i’ll keep an eye on ur idiots and buy u the ingredients??

 

boom boom bitch: that’s the least of it trust me

 

to infinity & beyond: i'll take what i can get








 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[constant supervision required]



beyond the best: pay attention u dense fuck

 

beyond the best: u say u want to beat me wtf r u doing slacking

 

beyond the best: u think ur good enough to do that hah? think just cuz i’m not there i’ve fallen behind or sum shit?

 

professional deku: sorry kacchan, of course not

 

professional deku: i’d never disrespect u like that

 

beyond the best: i fucking thought so

 

beyond the best: now get ur ass in gear and put the phone down shitty deku

 

professional deku: alright, see u later kacchan

 

professional deku: wait do u want my notes on midnight’s lecture later?

 

beyond the best: no idiot u write too much, i don’t need to know every single thing she said plus ur personal gauges on the seriousness of her expression in relation to the discussed topic

 

beyond the best: i already texted yaoyorozu for her notes earlier, her’s are more concise

 

professional deku: oh

 

professional deku: okay

 

beyond the best: …

 

beyond the best: but u can grab me extras of any papers she hands out

 

beyond the best: i didn’t get the chance to ask her for them earlier

 

professional deku: i’ll definitely do that!

 

professional deku: talk to u after class kacchan!

 

beyond the best: yea yea now pay attention




 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[immovable, unshakeable]



unbeatable: nevermind abt grabbing midnight’s handouts for me, ei

 

unbeatable: i got it handled

 

unbreakable: u sure kat?

 

unbreakable: i totally don’t mind

 

unbeatable: yea i’m sure

 

unbreakable: alright if u say so (^-^)ゝ

 

 

Chapter Text

[she doesn’t even go here]

 

hallucinogenic: *blurry shot of todoroki slipping on the ice and bakugou cackling_jpg*

 

hallucinogenic: *pic of an ice wall on the side of the rink bc todoroki accidentally set off his quirk_jpg*

 

hallucinogenic: *bakugou turning red and hugging his middle he’s laughing so hard meanwhile todoroki bows apologetically to some employees_jpg*

 

hallucinogenic: *todoroki melting his ice wall while bakugou wipes tears out of his eyes_jpg*

 

hallucinogenic: now this

 

hallucinogenic: this is just too good

 

DIEnamite: fuck u i didn’t kno u worked there illusionbitch

 

hallucinogenic: i only started two weeks ago but man am i glad i never mentioned it

 

DIEnamite: if anyone

 

DIEnamite: I SWEAR TO THE FUCKING ANTICHRIST

 

DIEnamite: A N Y O N E

 

DIEnamite: ever sees those

 

DIEnamite: i will roast u over a fire and feed u to inasa

 

hallucinogenic: oh no im so afraid of the angry dandelion

 

hallucinogenic: im quaking in my gucci boots

 

DIEnamite: utsushimi camie

 

hallucinogenic: ah damn full names

 

hallucinogenic: ugh

 

hallucinogenic: fiiiine

 

hallucinogenic: but this one’s my new wallpaper

hallucinogenic : *bakugou skating backwards with a soft look on his face past todoroki where he grips the wall of the ice rink shakily_jpg*

 

DIEnamite: UR FUCKING DEAD-






[pray for us]

 

a baby: help

 

susan storm: !!

 

sparkles: oh dear

 

acid queen: who do i need to kill

 

to infinity & beyond: what mina said

 

prehensile tail: koji where r u

 

arms arms arms: i’m visiting my parents but i can come 

 

kiribabe: i’m at the gym but same

 

precious peach: what happened

 

diabetes: ^^

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: the darkness comes for us all eventually

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: but if need be, dark shadow and i are willing to move up any appointments

 

portable charger: dude who do u need me to go /w h e y/ on 

 

portable charger: cuz i’d short circuit my brain waves for in a sec if need be

 

scotchtape: i’ll wrap and dispose of the body

 

that punk kid in every friend group: assuming there’ll be anything left of it

 

Iida Tenya: As heroes-in-training, you all should know better than to consider murder as the viable reaction to an offence!

 

Iida Tenya: That said, I’m more than willing to report a misdemeanor to one of the teachers or the nearby authorities! What has occured, Koji-san?

 

always tired: im w dad rn what do u need

 

a baby: i was on my way to the dorms after visiting the park w my rabbit

 

a baby: and some of the second years were abusing a cat outside 

 

a baby: and when i tried to stop them, they took Yuki from me instead

 

a baby: they laughed and ran off with him and i have no idea where they went

 

always tired: feline abuse oh yeah dad’s gonna want in on this one

 

always tired: do u remember what they looked like? could u pick them out of a police lineup?

 

a baby: i think so

 

boom boom bitch: screw a police lineup 

 

boom boom bitch: they’ll be scraping the blood and guts from the fucking pavement

 

kiribabe: dude who even picks on cats bro that’s just messed up

 

susan storm: and the bunny!! i hope he’s ok

 

kiribabe: same

 

to infinity & beyond: where did u last see them koji

 

a baby: they disappeared near ground gamma i think? i’m still here

 

boom boom bitch: on my fucking way then

 

portable charger: ^^

 

prehensile tail: ^^

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: ^^

 

acid queen: ^^

 

kiribabe: ^^

 

to infinity & beyond: ^^

 

boom boom bitch: no, all u bitches go back to the dorms w koda

 

boom boom bitch: i’ve got this handled

 

scotchtape: alright i’ll head over and get him

 

acid queen: they deserve every bit of pain coming to them

 

amphibia: i’ve found koda-chan, we’re on our way to u sero-chan

 

scotchtape: oh i see u ok

 

always tired: kat at least leave enough dna so we can identify them after

 

always tired: dad said he’ll need it for the paperwork

 

boom boom bitch: i’ll bring back all the pulverized organs he needs

 

bad dye job: that’s going to be a problem bakugou

 

bad dye job: the conductor just said there’s a problem on the tracks and the train has to stop for ten minutes while they fix it

 

bad dye job: we won’t make it in time

 

boom boom bitch: shitty fucking public transit these bitchass maintenaince workers this is y u do ur job properly the first time fuck

 

acid queen: wait so r we going after all??

 

acid queen: just give us the go ahead baku

 

boom boom bitch: no i’ve got it

 

bad dye job: the train

 

boom boom bitch: shut up abt the fucking train half n half that’s not what i meant

 

boom boom bitch: @broken bone boi

 

broken bone boi: sry i’ve been with my mom all day, what did i miss

 

broken bone boi: did u need smth kacchan?

 

boom boom bitch: i’m invoking Terrible Toddler Protocol

 

boom boom bitch: we are a go

 

broken bone boi: request accepted, message received

 

broken bone boi: reading u loud and clear

 

broken bone boi: who am i killing and where can i find them

 

boom boom bitch: the fuckheads with koji’s bunny, ground gamma

 

broken bone boi: done and done

 

broken bone boi: going ghost, will re-establish communications after the mission is complete

 

boom boom bitch: they’re so fucking dead

 

scotchtape: holy fuck i just saw green lightning streak past us

 

scotchtape: was that midoriya i’ve never seen him move that fast

 

portable charger: i have no idea what just happened but i’m fucking terrified








 

broken bone boi: mission accomplished

 

portable charger: it’s only been three minutes what-

 

always tired: dude mido

 

always tired: remind me never to piss u off man

 

to infinity & beyond: wat happend

 

always tired: freckled disaster delivered them right to the teachers’ dorms with a metal pipe wrapped around them, black eyes and broken noses abound

 

scotchtape: damn midoriya

 

scotchtape: wait how did aizawa take it

 

always tired: midoriya told him they tripped down the stairs

 

always tired: he just nodded his head and dragged them away to nezu

 

portable charger: hardcore shit yo

 

Iida Tenya: May I remind you, Midoriya-kun, that unnecessary violence is not acceptable behavior from a hero student!!

 

broken bone boi: i know iida

 

broken bone boi: kacchan invoked protocol tho and we take that stuff srsly

 

Iida Tenya: Midoriya-kun!

 

broken bone boi: pls just drop it iida bc i don’t regret it and ur not going to make me feel bad for doing what i did

 

boom boom bitch: count ur fucking victories where they are glasses, ur lucky he didn’t actually murder them

 

boom boom bitch: cuz im sure it was a close thing

 

Iida Tenya: But!

 

boom boom bitch: no

 

boom boom bitch: deadass drop that shit now

 

boom boom bitch: protocol is protocol and deku’s a little shit he’s probably feeling really fucking conflicted rn bc i told him to kill them and he didn’t 

 

broken bone boi: i’m sorry abt that kacchan

 

boom boom bitch: it’s fucking wtvr shithead

 

boom boom bitch: it’ll be worth it to see nezu rip them a new one anyway

 

broken bone boi: i’ll make it up to u!

 

boom boom bitch: fuck outta here w that shit

 

broken bone boi: no kacchan i’m going to make up for it

 

boom boom bitch: ur not going to let this go r u u punk bitch

 

broken bone boi: nope!

 

boom boom bitch: then next time u visit auntie, bring back sum of her curry

 

boom boom bitch: that shit’s straight fucking fire

 

broken bone boi: i’ll bring back a tubfull

 

boom boom bitch: finally some good fucking food

 

portable charger: ok i’m gonna ask for all of us

 

acid queen: thx kami

 

portable charger: yea i got u

 

portable charger: anyway, what is ‘Terrible Toddler Protocol’?

 

portable charger: cuz like ik u guys made sum progress w ur relationship after ur big fight but like, i didn’t think u were already at the point where u’d do smth for each other no questions asked

 

broken bone boi: oh um, kacchan?

 

boom boom bitch: back when me and shitty deku were kids, we were close asf alright and we did shit like that all the time

 

boom boom bitch: and after we had our falling out and i was a little bitch, if there was ever a situation where we needed to forget our differences for a sec and help the other person, we used TTP

 

broken bone boi: kacchan u weren’t a little bitch

 

boom boom bitch: nah ur right, i was a big one

 

boom boom bitch: it happened deku don’t fucking make excuses for me

 

broken bone boi: okay kacchan

 

portable charger: DUDE BUT THATS LOWKEY COOL THO

 

portable charger: CAN WE GET ONE OF THOSE

 

scotchtape: i’m down

 

that punk kid in every friend group: ^^

 

bad dye job: the train’s up and moving again

 

bad dye job: can we have one as well?

 

boom boom bitch: fucking finally and do wtvr u want idgaf

 

to infinity & beyond: motion to have one of these kill-first-ask-questions-never protocols for our class? say aye

 

portable charger: AYE AYE CAPTAIN

 

kiribabe: that’s manly af bro aye

 

that punk kid in every friend group: it fits my vibe so aye

 

prehensile tail: i mean it’ll come in handy at some point i’m sure 

 

prehensile tail: aye

 

arms arms arms: aye

 

dark shadow’s alter ego: aye

 

amphibia: aye ochaco-chan

 

susan storm: aye!!

 

sparkles: why but of course aye

 

diabetes: couldn’t hurt ig aye

 

acid queen: A Y E

 

a baby: i would like that aye

 

scotchtape: u already kno aye

 

precious peach: it sounds like a great bonding experience, aye!

 

Iida Tenya: Nay!

 

to infinity & beyond: outvoted! motion passed!










 

 

portable charger: oh hey btw

 

portable charger: @boom boom bitch @bad dye job u guys were on a train together? what for?

 

acid queen: denki ur such a sad fucking soul god this is y ur never in charge of the braincell









[the favorites]



hitoshit: lol so dad says u shouldn’t encourage the problem child 

 

bakubitch: shitty deku makes his own choices

 

bakubitch: however fucking questionable they may be

 

hitoshit: does he tho?

 

hitoshit: i mean when it comes to u…

 

bakubitch: the hell does that mean

 

hitoshit: i luv u and ik ur a born genius but ur srsly oblivious sumtimes

 

bakubitch: OH SO U HAVE SMTH TO SAY DO U

 

hitoshit: shit don’t yell kat i have a headache

 

bakubitch: WE’RE FUCKING TEXTING AND UR NOT EVEN AT THE DORMS SHITSTAIN

 

hitoshit: yea but ur in capslock and whenever ur in capslock it’s like i can hear u screaming ur head off right in my ear

 

bakubitch: sounds like a u problem asshat

 

hitoshit: wtvr i’m gonna play w the cats 

 

bakubitch: that’s what i thought






 

 

[constant supervision required]

 

professional deku: it’s been a while since u last used protocol kacchan

 

beyond the best: yea so? what abt it shitty deku?

 

professional deku: nothing kacchan

 

professional deku: ik it was for koji but i’m glad u felt comfortable enough to do it anyway

 

professional deku: thank u for trusting me

 

-professional deku has deleted one message-

 

professional deku: sry i accidentally sent a pic

 

professional deku: i meant to say thank u for letting me do that for u

 

beyond the best: whatever it couldn’t be helped and it’s not like the extras need to be doing that shit anyways

 

professional deku: u call them extras kacchan but we both know they’re friends, u don’t watch out for extras the way u watch out for them

 

{Would you like to send this message?}   beyond the best: you too idiot, ur a fucking disaster by yourself and ofc i trust u

 

{Yes} Or {No}

 

{No}

 

beyond the best: u’ll never get me to admit it