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Through Different Eyes

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"I should not be this anxious," he says, pacing back and forth in the bathroom just off the bridge.

"I have no emotions," he reasons, clasping his hands tightly behind his back as he marches, "I am an android. I should have no deep investment in this situation."

"Even if we are in a relationship," he amends, bouncing on his heels as he goes to and fro. To and fro. To and- "that should not change anything. Or, at the very least, should change little. I am still myself. Geordi is aware of this, I am aware of this. I-"

"And even if my perception of myself is altering," he changes tack, coming to a slow and juddering halt in front of the calmly stretching bathroom mirror, "even if my responses are changing, expanding in a semi-natural way, they should not be doing so this fast. We have been in a relationship for a matter of weeks. I should be a touch concerned, yes, but not-"

He pauses, stares into his reflection in the mirror for a long few moments. Studies his face, the skin around his mouth, his eyes staring back at him.

"Not to this extent," he finishes, a touch thoughtfully, "it should not feel like my heart, if that is even the correct term for it, is trying to pound out of my chest. Like my throat is closing up, and I cannot breathe. Like... I am terrified out of my mind, even though it is not possible for me to be so."

He keeps staring. Quietly. Thoughtfully. Terrifiedly.

"I-" he starts, pauses again, clears his throat gently and tilts his head, "I hope that he will be okay."

He keeps staring.

"I... Wish for him to be okay."

He keeps staring.

"I want him to be okay," he whispers, and leans slowly forward until his forehead rests against the cool glass, "I- Please. Please, let him be okay."