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Smosh mafia

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Ian had never really envisioned himself being apart of a business like this, and in all honesty when Defy had approached both him and Anthony all those years ago, he hadn’t thought he would be where he was now. 

Running a group of mafia agents, yeah...I mean at least you couldn’t say his job was boring? 

Today already sucked though.. 

Today was the Anniversary of when he lost the one person he thought he could always count on, and the thing was he couldn’t even be mad at the son of a bitch, because he understood. It wasn’t like he had betrayed Ian, or turned them in to the police, it wasn’t even a blindside.

 Ian had known it had been coming So he couldn’t quite figure out why it still hurt like hell 

Maybe it was because he knew as long as he was still apart of the company he would never see him again, because once you leave Defy, your basically considered dead. Maybe it was because the guy had been his partner, the one Ian could always look to when he wanted to talk, the one who Ian knew would always have his back, fight or not. Maybe because through all the bullshit, Ian knew his friend would always be there when Defy fucked them over. 

Today was the day Anthony had walked away from the company, and Ian’s life in the company changed, the day Ian had lost his best friend. So Ian had anticipated this day being hard, what he hadn’t anticipated was the shit show that was about to transpire. 

It started in the morning, he hadn’t even walked in the door a few feet when he was immediately approached by Sarah and her partner Matt, pinching the bridge of his nose as the two wanted him to mediate their most recent issue they were having with each other. Ian wasn’t even sure how the two hadn’t ripped out each other's throats at this point, why Defy had partnered them up in the first place was beyond him, but at the end of the day they managed to get the job done. 

Even if it meant screeching and threatening to shoot each other all the way there. 

Once that issue had been solved Ian had managed to pour himself a cup of coffee before the next problem arose. 

As he sat at his desk he wasn’t even two sips into his first cup when he saw the shoes of two people standing in front of him, looking up he was met with Noah and Keith, both of them looking at him with annoyed expressions. Ian raises an eyebrow at them as he drinks from his mug, they just stare back at him as if expecting him to tell them something. 

“Yes?” is all he can manage to ask, as he stares back at them with an aloof expression. 

Hey cut him some slack, it’s really fucking early. 

“Wow, okay I see how it is, see I told you he would be like this.” Keith says giving Ian a stink eye as he turns towards Noah, “You were the one who wanted to bother him man, don’t pull me into this.” Noah responds holding his hands up in defense. Ian sighs as Keith puts on a pouty face as Noah shakes his head slowly, rubbing his eyes Ian tries again. 

“Sorry..rough day ahead, what can I do for you?” Ian asks trying not to sound condescending. 

“Nah, it's all good, we took a job last night and didn’t finish til 6, we just kinda had a small issue..” Noah says cringing slightly as if he knows what’s about to be said will definitely piss Ian off, “There was a complication.” Keith explains more gesturing with a hand as he recalls the events. At the mention of a complication Ian can feel the beginnings of a migraine, pursing his lips he is already trying to prepare himself for the worst.

 “Complication? What kind of complication?..” He says as he attempts not to grit his teeth, Noah and Keith exchange glances as if having a silent fight over who was going to break the news.

 “We don’t uh...we don’t know if we ‘talked’ to the right person..” Noah says making quotation marks with his fingers, Ian stares at them, after a moment he blinks slowly.

 “You don’t know if you took care of the right target?...What if it was the wrong man..Are you two deadass right now?” Ian stares at them like they have two heads, “It’s Noah’s fault, I knew he should have let me pick up the information!” Keith smacks Noah on the arm.

 “Ow okay okay, I know it sounds bad but we can fix this okay? We have a plan.” Noah explains slowly as if trying to soothe Ian’s irritation. 

Ian frowns deeply at him, “You two aren’t rookie’s anymore, come on guys, fix it please!” Ian says waving his arms. 

“We’ll get it done. Just we were hoping you just wouldn’t tell the high ups yet. Give us some time?” Keith gives him a pleading look, Ian tries not to look, but he already knows he won’t be able to say no. “Alright alright...but I’m serious get it done ASAP, if they find out I lied you two won’t be the only two that are fucked.” Ian says shooing them off with his hands, “You got it man, thank you!” Noah yells as he and Keith start walking off. 

Ian sighs as he watches the two men walk off, Keith mouthing off about how the two guys looked too similar for them to know. Ian can only grumble and pray that they didn’t kill someone important, but considering who he’s talking about, they probably killed the president’s kid.

 Why the fuck did he agree for this position again?

Things progressively begin to get worse As Ian is working on some documents on his computer the sound of heels approaching causes his migraine to get worse, he’s about to look over to see who it is, when a huge pile of papers gets slammed on his desk. Looking up he’s met with the sarcastic expression of one Mari Takahashi, the long haired, suit wearing, agent stares him down fixing her hand on her hip. 

“What is this?” Ian asks as he flips fast through the stack of papers, looking at it with such a distasteful expression that it manages to make Mari chuckle.

 “Injury report from the job Courtney was running last night..” Mari says with a slight shrug, Ian looks up at her with concern, “Jesus, did any of them?..” Not even daring himself to finish that sentence. He cares a lot about his friends, he felt responsible for all of them, not only on an emotional level but it was his job to see to their well being, and he was the one that green-lighted the job. The idea that any of them, especially Courtney, not making it back made him sick to his stomach. 

“No no, their all in the infirmary, Wasn’t anyone’s fault, wrong information from informants and a botched hustle..Nothing life threatening. Courtney and Olivia were more lucky, Damien and Shayne took most of the abuse in an attempt to get them out of there, you know how they are. Court’s pretty shook up about it though, Olivia almost got stuck in a dangerous situation, guy tried to use her as a bargaining for money. Knife got pressed against her throat.” Mari leans against his desk as she speaks, Ian puts his face in his hands. “Fuck..” he mumbles, Ian already has a feeling Courtney is probably blaming herself for the whole ordeal.

 It was her idea in the first place to team up with Shayne and Damien for this job, Olivia who was her partner, already hadn’t been exactly crazy about it but Courtney had been sure it would be a quick in and out. Ian green-lighted it because he trusted Courtney was right, he just hoped she wouldn’t beat herself up too badly. Ian knows Shayne and Damien probably aren’t upset with her, Olivia was most likely irritated but he knew she would get over it eventually. Those two are inseparable so Ian’s sure Olivia won’t be able to stay angry with Courtney for too long. 

“They’ll be alright, Courtney and Olivia have a couple scratches and bruises nothing too intense, Shayne has some bruised ribs and a black eye, Damien same thing but with a busted lip. They’ve all seen worse days.” Mari pat's Ian on the shoulder, “I know..It just always sucks when any of us get hurt..” Ian says a bit grimly giving Mari an appreciative look for the attempted comfort. “Yeah I know...are you sure that’s what’s really bothering you today?” Mari asks raising an eyebrow.

 Ian frowns even more if that’s even possible, “What do you mean?..” he says in an attempt to divert the conversation. Unfortunately Mari knows him better than that, she gives him a knowing look and raises a slight eyebrow. 

“Ian..I know what day it is, don’t lie to me man.” He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair, “Let’s just not address it okay?” Ian looks up at her almost begging. Mari gives him almost what feels like the dissapointed look of a mother, but seems to respect his wishes, “Alright if you say so..Just try not to dwell on things too much okay? Oh and don’t be late to group meeting, I don’t want to host it for you again, Joven would not shut up last time and I don’t think I can put up with “Lasercorn’s” bitching.” she shakes her head slowly as she makes a move to leave. 

“Right..I’ll be there..” Ian blows out air in a exasperated way.

He had completely forgot about the meeting.



Ian walks into the meeting room holding a small stack of papers he had managed to put together so he would at least have something to go over. Rushing into the room, he sees Mari standing where he should be looking like she’s about to start improvising. He shoots her a apologetic look as he stumbles in, “Sorry I’m late.” he says setting the papers down as he let’s out a breath of relief. 

“I literally told you not even an hour ago to make sure you were on time.” Mari frowns at him in annoyance, “Time got away from me.” is all he replies back with as Mari takes her seat. 

Taking a quick headcount he spots Shayne and Damien not sitting too far away both of them look uncomfortable while Olivia sitting to the left of them has her arms crossed with a distant expression, Courtney on the right of Shayne keeps glancing over at her partner with nervous expressions. Obvious guilt on her features Ian tries to make some conversation, “Court Bort you guys gonna take a couple weeks off?” he asks using his nickname for her, she gives him a sad frown. 

“Uh yeah...sorry..” she says sheepishly as she looks away. 

“We’ve already told you Courtney it wasn’t your fault, it was going to be a fiasco from the beginning.” Damien says shooting her a sympathetic smile, “yeah I would have fucked it up anyways.” Shayne grins as he rubs his side gently. Olivia doesn’t make a comment but nods in agreement, Ian knows not to push it and that she’ll come around at some point. 

“Can we get this going now? I wanna go homeeee.” Lasercorn groans loudly earning a smack in the head from Mari who’s sitting near him. He yelps and rubs the side of his head sticking his tongue out at her while she rolls her eyes. 

“Where’s Wes?” Ian questions looking over at Mari, she shrugs, “I don’t know, he told me he had some business to take care of, he’s always late anyways. Just start without him I’m sure he’ll show up any minute.” Mari says with a nonchalant motion of her hand, her partner was always tardy 99% of the time so she didn’t seem too shocked. 

Ian sighs but picks up his papers to begin, as he’s about to start the sound of running down the hall makes him stop. They all turn towards the door to see a familiar shade of silver streak down the hall. 

Pausing for a moment Ian shoots a confused look at Mari who looks just as baffled as he does. 

The streak of silver reappears, then in all his glory, Wes comes busting through the door breathing heavily. Normally this wouldn’t be that concerning, but Wes looks roughed up, nose bleeding, bruises littering his form, as he looks at them with the most frantic and panicked expression they’ve ever seen from him. 

“Uhhhhh so...I think I uh...we have a problem..” Wes manages to choke out as he takes in as much air as possible still clutching the door knob with shaking hands.

You’ve got to be shitting me.

“What the f-”