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Amazing Detective/Genius

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Tony sighed, glancing over to the picture frame on his desk which contained an old photograph of himself and his wife and daughter, Pepper and Morgan. Loosening his tie and gathering his belongings together before taking off for the weekend, he came to a stop, noticing he had just received an email from Captain Morita from the Two-Seven in Queens.

"What do you got for me this time, Jim?" Tony asked aloud, a hint of frustration in his voice.

'Dear Captain Stark,' it began, appearing to follow the usual copy and paste format the NYPD officers used. 'What I am about to tell you brings me a great amount of relief. There is a rather eager young officer under my command, called Peter Parker, and he has just been promoted to the rank of detective. I have been informed by Chief Fury that he will be assigned to your squad down at the Nine-Nine in Brooklyn. Attached with this message, I have provided his file, including his arrest records. To put your mind at ease, I have provided my personal phone number should you require any advice on how to control his behavior. I hope that he will succeed in the future, and will fit in well with the other detectives. Sincerely, Captain Jim Morita. P.S. If you wish to demote him back down to his previous rank, that is perfectly reasonable. I beg you however that he is NOT reassigned to the Two-Seven.'

Tony squinted at the screen, adjusting his glasses to make sure he had read the entire thing correctly, which he had in fact. Five times to be exact. Choosing to read over the file back home, slight concern and curiosity looming in the back of his mind, he stood up from his desk chair, turning out the lights in his office and stepping out into the middle of the room.

“If I may have your attention," Tony announced, grabbing the attention of all the detectives who looked up from their desks, turning to face him. "I just have a little bit of news to share with you before you all head home for the weekend.”

“Good news, or bad news?” His second-in-command, and best friend, Sergeant Bruce Banner asked.

"I'm... not entirely sure. But we've got a new guy coming on Monday. I know we haven't had any of those for a while, but you all remember your first day here, so I want you to make him feel welcome."

“A new guy?” Natasha asked while leaning back in her chair, sharpening a small knife with a look of complete disgust spread across her face. “I hate new people.”

“You hate all people.” Ned responded; brows furrowed as he gazed back at the older woman who he shared a desk clump with.

“True.” She shrugged. “Who are they?”

Tony, practically remembering the email word for word due to the amount of times he had read it over and the fact he had a photographic memory, responded to Natasha's question immediately.

“Peter Parker. His old commanding officer told me that he was... eager."

He could have told them about the rest of the email, but that only raised questions that he didn't have the answer to. And quite frankly, Tony wasn't entirely sure that he wanted some of those answers. Also, he may have been advanced in his age, but that didn't make him a robot like the rest of the other captains. It was the weekend, and he missed his family.

“What else do we know about him?” Natasha kept on prying.

"Nothing else." He fibbed, making his way towards the elevator while calling back to the detectives. "I'll see you all on Monday."

The moment the elevator door closed on Tony, Natasha stood to her feet, motioning for everyone else to join her in the middle of the room. As the detectives convened in the middle of the room, they glanced over to the now empty desk across from MJ, which used to be occupied by Detective Wilson.

“Let's cut to the chase. This guy’s definitely going to be a jackass.” Nat said angrily, crossing her arms. “People who make detective get so full of themselves.”

“What makes you think that?” Steve asked.

“I was. Still am. I’m better than all of you.”

“You heard what Tony said." Bruce interjected, voice booming over everyone else, looking down upon them as if he was talking to kindergarteners. "If you won’t listen to him, then you should listen to me.”

The detectives that occupied the fourth floor of the Nine-Nine weren't exactly... mature. Thor and Ned were still rather young, and had a few things to learn about the real world, but took their work seriously. MJ on the other hand? She mocked the criminals so much that they were often reduced to tears. Clint and Natasha of course, encouraged this behavior. All in all, the only 'adult' members of the squad were Steve and Bruce, and even then, the detectives rarely listened to them.

“I don’t know what the big deal is." Ned shrugged. "Who knows? He might actually be nice.”

“You’re too optimistic, Leeds.” MJ said, rolling her eyes.


Tony let out a yawn, taking a sip of coffee from his mug as he marched into the Nine-Nine, making his way towards his office. Carrying the files for the morning briefing under his arm, he tossed one onto each of the detectives’ desks. As usual, Tony was the first member of the squad there.

Or so he expected.

Standing in front of his office was an incredibly pale young boy who still had severe acne on his face. From a distance, Tony would have pegged him as a teenager, as he was wearing a flannel shirt, jeans, a leather jacket, and sneakers. But there was still something about him that seemed 'older', although he couldn't exactly place his finger on it.

“Excuse me, kid?" Tony asked. "Do you need any help? Do you... have any parents around here, or were you arrested?"

The boy smiled brightly, appearing to be laughing at what Tony had just said.

“You’re Captain Stark, right?”

“That's what they call me.” He responded, waiting in silence for a few moments. "Now this is the part where you tell me who you are and how you know my name."

“Oh, right!” The boy smacked himself, turning a very light shade of red out of embarrassment. "I'm Peter, Peter Parker."

Tony brushed past him, unlocking his office and pushing the door open. Motioning for Peter to follow him, he sat down at his desk while staring across at Peter, who was bouncing up and down nervously, eyes darting in all directions. Tony found himself smiling slightly, noticing a few similarities between the two of them. At least back when he was starting out as a detective.

“You were quite early today. I actually wasn't expecting that. Captain Morita made sure to emphasize your punctuality issues.”

“Sorry, I'm sorry about that stuff. I uh, have a few things going on right now. B- but I didn’t want to be late on my first day, and I promise I'll try to get here on time.”

“No need to apologize. I must admit I’m impressed.” Tony smirked, pulling the printed-out file from his briefcase. “More so, now that I’ve read your file. Your arrest numbers are excellent. One of the best I've ever seen.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“I also decided to give your old CO a call over the weekend. He had quite a bit to say about your behavior in the workplace.”

He began to show signs of pride taking over his once incredibly embarrassed, jittery manner, sitting up in his seat, coming off more confident just by the slightest compliment.

“Just as impressive?”


Peter's pride immediately turned back to embarrassment, sinking down in his seat, refusing to make any more eye contact with Tony.

“Peter Parker has shown time and again that he is an unmanageable officer. He rarely listens to orders and instead does what he believes he should. Regardless of the results they yield, it is unacceptable. If it wasn’t for the arrests he makes regularly, he wouldn’t have been promoted to the rank of detective.” Tony stared back at the boy. “He also had a side note: He is a young man in his mid twenties, who looks like he’s in his mid teens, and acts like he’s twelve. We talked on the phone for an entire hour about you, after which he decided to go book a daily therapy session.”

"Oh, crap." He muttered under his breath.

"I’m going to make one thing clear, kid. You’re in my precinct now." Tony said, sliding over a badge and a gun towards him across the desk. "I won't be allowing any more of your reckless behavior. At the Nine-Nine, we do things by the book. You're going to be watched like you're under a microscope, and there will be no negotiating. Do I make myself clear?”

Peter nodded along quickly, placing the gun in his holster that was partially concealed by his leather jacket and then attaching the badge around a chain that was wrapped around his neck.

"I understand, sir. Believe me, I won't screw this up."

“Good man. Now then, let me introduce you to your squad.”

The two stood up from the desk chairs and walked over to the glass window, overlooking the entire floor that was now occupied by other uniformed officers along with the members of the detective squad.

“I thought we were going to say ‘hi’?”

“Well, yeah. But that part comes later. I’m going to need to tell you about them first.”

Tony first looked over towards a rather large, muscular man who was sitting down at a desk, pressing the buttons on his computer carefully to make sure he wouldn't break them. By the look of things, one of his fingers was the size of Peter's hand, their almost green like colour matching his tie perfectly.

“That's my second in command, Sergeant Bruce Banner. He's been with us for over fifteen years, and the man's a fucking genius. He's got over seven PhD's.”

“He’s tall.” Peter gulped.

“He can crush you with one hand and not break a sweat.”

He then let out a nervous squeak, turning as white as a sheet, making his pale complexion look like it was a severe tan.

“Good to know.”

To his left was a red headed woman wearing dark clothes, laying out a series of weapons out onto her desk which included knives, over half a dozen guns, and somehow a machete, all of which were previously on her person. Peter wasn't even going to try and figure out how any of this was possible, let alone how she was even allowed to bring all of those weapons into a precinct.

“Natasha Romanov. Everyone is terrified of her, and for good reason. Never, and I mean never, ask a question about her. I'd tell you more about her, but that's all I know. I'm not even sure if her name's actually Natasha.”


“That’s a question. You’re already failing.”


Across from her desk was a Filipino man whose desk was covered with a series of action figures and plenty of other expensive collectibles. Peter glanced down at his own clothes, realizing that they both were wearing Star Wars shirts.

“Ned Leeds. Very dedicated to his work, and is brilliant with computers. Needless to say, your personalities are a little... different. But I'm pretty sure that you two will get along well. If you have any questions around here, you should probably ask him. He'd be happy to help.”


“That other guy is Clint Barton. Best shot on the force, and he never misses a target. Also, a bit of a prankster, and the only one Romanov gets along with. I'm going to be honest with you, he's a little bit sketchy. His mother-in-law comes in about once a month to scold him. Said something about running off with her daughter to join the circus or whatever. It was a whole mess, but I think its kind of hilarious. His desk mate is Steve Rogers. I swear, sometimes I think that guy should have been born in the nineteen-twenties.”

Tony's first encounter with Steve wasn't entirely successful. They got out of the academy at around the same time and were assigned to the same precinct. This was back when Tony was a little too childish, far off from what he was today. If someone were to ask him, Steve had a gigantic stick up his ass back then. While his memory was starting to fade, he knew that they kept arguing over something, but it seemed insignificant now. They became friends, and that was all that mattered.

“Who’s the guy with long hair?”

“Thor Odinson. He may look like a tough person, but he’s the nicest man you will ever meet. Literally everyone here loves him. But whatever you do, don't take any of his pop tarts. It's never come to this before, but he would murder the person who ate them without his permission.”

Peter smiled to himself, bouncing up and down on his heels, clearly eager to meet these people.

“And finally, Michelle Jones. She has the best numbers in the precinct. In fact, they’re on par with yours.”

He looked her up and down, seeing that she had a bored expression on her face. At least that was what he could make out. Her curly dark hair was covering up a portion of her face, and she was looking down at her combat boots, keeping her body language closed off and defensive.

“So, we have a similar way of working?”

“You could not be more wrong. She loves doing paperwork, and want to impress her superior officers. Raised in a family of cops, and is constantly trying to prove that she's the best. But Michelle's got this..." He trailed off, trying to find the right words. "... obsession, to get things right. Poor girl drives herself crazy when she can't solve a case in time, at least on the rare occasion it happens. She also likes to read.”

“What makes you think I don’t like to read?”

Tony shot up an eyebrow.

“Do you?”

“No.” Peter sighed. "Well, except Harry Potter, but everyone loves those books."

“And that’s everyone.”

As the detectives began making their way over to the briefing room, Tony and Peter stepped out of his office, following them closely. The Captain took his usual place up at the front, while Peter sat down next to Ned, noticing that everyone’s eyes were glued to him.

“Hey." Peter whispered, leaning over slightly. "You’re Ned, right?”

“That’s me.” He said, extending a hand. "You're the new guy, aren't you?

“Yep. Peter Parker.” He responded, shaking his hand. “Nice to meet you, dude.”

“Likewise.” Ned smiled, gesturing to his shirt. “Are you a Star Wars fan?”

“Isn’t everyone?” Peter laughed.

“Smart people are.”

Tony stood at the front of the room with his hands behind his back, glasses placed on his head while opening his file.

“I know what you’re thinking." He began. "Who the hell is this child sitting with us?”

“I’m not a child.”

“You look like one.” Natasha said in a monotone voice.

“This is the newest member of your squad. Peter Parker.”

“Hi.” He said nervously.

“He’s quite the officer, and his arrest numbers speak for themselves. He’s actually as good as you, Michelle.”

MJ’s head shot up, eyes darkening as she fixed her gaze on Peter, clenching her fists. Her nostrils flared as she began to breath heavily, the obsession on full display.

“Take a moment to get to know each other, and then we’ll be continuing to the briefing.”

Tony walked out of the room quickly, leaving the detectives alone, as well as the uniformed officers who were watching Peter and MJ closely, a mixture of anticipation and fear brewing within the room.

“Look out, MJ.” Clint chuckled. “This kid’s coming for your throne.”

“I uh, I’m not coming for anyone’s ‘throne’." Peter responded. "But it’s nice to meet you all, and I hope we can all just get along. Not trying to step on anyone's toes or anything like that.”

MJ scoffed, standing up from the desk and walking towards him slowly, pushing her hair behind her ear in order to get a better look at him.

“I don't even need to worry about you. Tony may think you're good, but I'm the real deal. I'm the best there is in this precinct, and I’m miles better than you.”

Ned backed away slightly in his chair, motioning for Peter to follow his actions, but he simply remained where he was, not even flinching as MJ towered over him. He then, stood to meet her, smirking.

"You know I was a beat cop before this, right? And my numbers are just as good as yours. Imagine the kind of arrests I could make in my first year as a detective. Now, I don't sound arrogant here or anything, but by this time next year, I will have destroyed you."

Whispers between the detectives and the officers began circulating throughout the room. Even people as mature as Bruce and Steve were on the edges of their seats, leaning forward in order to hear every word that was being said between the two young police detectives.

"You're cute." MJ said in a teasing voice. "I could guarantee that by this time next year, I'll have made more arrests than you have. And I could do it without even breaking a sweat."

Peter inched closer to her, ignoring the massive height difference between the two of them as he kept gaining more confidence (or arrogance) with every passing second.

“So why don’t you?”

“You don’t want to face me, Peralta.”

“It’s actually Parker. And I would bet anything you’re wrong.”

He was a bit taken aback by her words, but sensed an opportunity arising.



“This is getting interesting.” Natasha smirked, interrupting the conversation. “What matters most to you in the world, kid? And don’t say crap like helping others. It has to be a material possession. Or something you can be embarrassed with. I'm flexible.”

Peter paused for a moment before answering, reaching into the pocket of his leather jacket and tossing a set of old keys onto the table.

“My uncle's old car. It’s a 1970s Mustang, brand new V8 engine, fresh paint job, it's probably worth a fortune. I'm willing to bet my car that I can make more arrests than you in one year. What do you have to offer, Michelle?”

MJ looked around the room, seeing all the eyes locked on the two of them. She was just as arrogant as Peter was, completely convinced that she would win with ease. Her eyebrows raised suddenly, appearing to have come up with an offer.

“If you win, you can take me on the worst date ever. You can have full control of what I wear, eat and do.”

“I’ll have the power to make you suffer.” He said greedily. "Are you sure you won't have a problem with that?"

“I’ll win, so it’s not a problem. Do we have a deal, Loser?”


The two firmly shook hands, both keeping an incredibly firm grip without breaking eye contact, knuckles turning white as time kept on passing, neither showing sign of letting go.

Bruce made his way over to the whiteboard, writing the number ‘365’ up in the corner, along with two columns. The first being ‘Peter’, written in red. The second being ‘MJ’, written in a dark purple.

“So, it’s settled." He announced. "If MJ wins, Peter has to give her his car. If Peter wins, MJ has to go on the worst date in history with Peter, probably in said car. May the best detective win.”