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Jinhyun's Yearning

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How long has it been since that night?

Kim Jinhyun still couldn’t forget what happened between him and Lee Sangmin during that hot summer time. To be exact, he not only had vivid dreams of that event but also had other similar iterations playing in his sleep that continuously plague him.

How many times have it been since he woke up feeling frustrated and aching? His entrance throbbing so badly that he felt so empty and restless. Only when he would touch his insides would his desire and lust be quenched.

Beginning from that summer time before their 12th senior grade, Kim Jinhyun has come to know the pleasures of being touched by a man and playing with his own chrysanthemum. His own proficiency of bringing himself satisfaction via anal play was quite rather enough that he doesn’t even need to touch his own cock to get the release he so badly needs.

And here he was now.

Laying on his back, completely naked on the bed of his own apartment. His legs were spread wide while an assortment of toys was just an arm’s reach away from him. Picking up a fairly large sized realistic dildo, Kim Jinhyun moaned as he imagined it to be Sangmin’s cock.

He had another dream again and this time it was triggered by the fact Lee Sangmin was the one to help him on knowing about the dastardly plan of the stupid good for nothing ambitious fat fuck that wanted to ruin his grades and exams.

The blond’s current matured look that always gave out the air of indifference; during that moment of being warned, Sangmin’s appearance seemed to turn back as it were when they were in high school. The sincere concern and cold anger that was displayed at that moment evoked a longing part of Jinhyun to react.

This then ultimately led him here in his current situation.

Haunted by Lee Sangmin in both his sleep and waking moments; needily yearning for the other’s touch.

Touching the synthetic fleshy phallus, the aroused red head spread the cum-like substance that dripped from the toy’s tip and placed it within his mouth. It was so warm and throbbed a good deal that the ruby eyed male silently sent cheers to the creative and ingenious sex industry inventors of America.

That even though it was definitely expensive and having it shipped from overseas was thoroughly embarrassing; buying this new toy of his appeared to be a good decision. After all, even though it was no more but a faux organ, it still was cock that squirted and had a number of functions that were quite rather similar to the real thing. Enough that it aided him in easing his needs.

Moaning at the nondescript taste, Kim Jinhyun eagerly serviced the toy as though the phallic organ belonged to Sangmin himself. Whimpering, keening and moaning around it, shimmering tears began to appear in the red-head’s eyes.

If only the cock he was sucking belonged to Sangmin…

Shaking his head, the teary-eyed male stopped fellating the toy and placed it teasingly at his own throbbing entrance.

It was so warm and Kim Jinhyun could feel himself greedily trying to suck the faux cock in. Pushing said phallus in, the initial burn of entry came and yet the red-head couldn’t stop himself from moaning at the pleasure it brought in.

Fuck, thought Jinhyun as he felt wonderfully full with the toy now within him. It was gloriously big. But unfortunately, it wasn’t as big as how he remembered Sangmin was. The tall blonde male was definitely larger than this thing.

The ruby eyed male then shoved aside his meaningless woes and repeatedly pulled back and thrusted inside. Doing himself continuously, Kim Jinhyun couldn’t stop himself from closing his eyes and imagining…




“You look so good like this,” huskily commented a scarlet eyed blonde male.

Jinhyun then moaned at the compliment and needily begged, “Sangmin,..ah..Please fuck me.”

“Fuck you? You look like you’re having a good time just by yourself,” the other leered before turning away.

“No…! Sangmin, please~~ I beg you. I need you,” the red-head called out in urgency.


“Sangmin~~~,” Jinhyun whined as he turned on to his stomach and raised up as his ass.

“To think that you would so prettily beg for me like this. It would really tempt me to ravish you, Jinhyun.” The taller male responded as he came closer and pulled out his cock.

The ruby eyed man then took out the toy inside of him out of his own initiative and spread his legs while holding his ass cheeks.  In that way, he readily offered his throbbing entrance and whined desperately as he swayed his hips as an invitation. “I’m… ah...all yours, Sa—Sangmin. So ple~~ease…Mess me..ha.. up and ruin me.”

At such a display, the blonde couldn’t stop himself from grinning and running his hands over the red head’s body. The pale skin that Jinhyun had was now flushed red and his body was undeniably quivering in need.  Which was why, at the sight of the ginger’s winking entrance Sangmin rubbed his own throbbing cock against it for a few moments before thrusting in.

Jinhyun then moaned at the sudden sensation of being filled and unconsciously pushed back. The person that he was yearning for years was finally inside of him.

Sangmin was inside of him.

That was why, as the blonde began fucking him rigorously, Jinhyun eagerly met the thrusts that the other gave and allowed his own voice to come out.

Keens, moans and mewls; Jinhyun wasn’t afraid to voice out his happiness and satisfaction as the man he had longed for fucked him. After all, in his mind, that was what would Sangmin would have wanted. Him being clear about his desire and feelings for the blonde.

As their momentum only got faster and the ginger got more caught up by the pleasure he was receiving; Jinhyun wished for things to not end. The other was now beside him. Hence, he tried to push back his own peak and prolong the wonderful experience that he was having.

However, hearing a sudden declaration from Sangmin caught the ruby eyed male off guard and made him cum without his front being touched.

 “I love you, Jinhyun.

I have always loved since that very night.”

Trembling harshly after cumming, Jinhyun softly called out Sangmin’s name before everything in his sight went black.




It was terrible.

Jinhyun found himself waking up after his little masturbation session and hated himself for even imagining what he had happened earlier.

The pleasure that he got from the new toy that he got was quite great. That said, the guilt and disgust that he could feel for even further corrupting his friend’s image made Jinhyun want to cry.


Why has it become like this?

I never wanted Lee-Sangmin before in my first life. And now…

Now, I can’t stop myself from thinking about him.

I was the one to push him away when we were in high school even if he looked like he wanted us to be more. I was the one to tell him that everything that night was a mistake.

But why?

Why can’t I forget about him when even though I know that what I am yearning for is wrong?

Lee Sangmin has a bright future ahead of him.

Heck, from what I could even remember in my first life, he had a wife. A family with two children. He was blessed to have a good life.

I can’t try and take that away from him.

I—I don’t want him to make a mistake and regret of what could have been because of me.

I don’t deserve him.

Sangmin deserves so much more.

He deserves someone who has a similar status as him and would look good by his side.

I—I will be nothing more but a burden for him if I even tried for what I wanted.”

With such thoughts running in his mind, Jinhyun cried himself back to sleep and hoped that his unneeded yearning would soon fade away.

He hoped that once he woke up, these feelings of his would go away. Leaving him alone to live his life and look for a better start.