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Classic Rock Crack Fic- Group Chat

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-Sid Vicious has added Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, and Dee Dee Ramone to the group chat! -

 

Sid Vicious: help math will kill me

 

Johnny Rotten: okay same here but why is dee dee here (no offense) 

 

Dee Dee Ramone: yeah why? This looks like it was supposed to be a band thingy (none taken)

 

Sid Vicious: bc he’s cool i like him 

 

Dee Dee Ramone: ty sid ty

 

Sid Vicious: :D

 

Steve Jones: sid stop being a smol

 

Sid Vicious: excuse you i am Long™

 

Steve Jones: yeah u are physically 

but spiritually 

U are smol

 

Johnny Rotten: okay but I have to do something 

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Steve Jones’ s nickname to jonesy !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Paul Cook ’s nickname to cookie !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Dee Dee Ramone’ s nickname to fuck if i know where to go with this one !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Sid Vicious ’s nickname to hamster bitch !-

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: HaMsTeR bItCh

 

hamster bitch: DAMNIT JOHN

IT WAS YOUR HAMSTER THAT BIT ME

 

cookie: hey we never heard that one

wait a sec

 

- cookie changed Johnny Rotten ’s nickname to filth !-

 

filth!: wow okay

ur lucky im trying not to get caught or i will change ur nickname

 

cookie: try it bitch boi

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: hey gays mind if i add joey he has the sad™ today and i feel bad

also johnny (our johnny not u johnny) has been giving him shit all day and it’s Yikes™

 

hamster bitch: yeah sure he’s cool to!!!

 

- fuck if i know where to go with this one added Joey Ramone to the group chat!-

 

Joey Ramone: hi why do i feel like something is happening and is it bad i can already figure out whos who except for hamster bitch

 

hamster bitch: it’s sid but apparently both johnnys are DICKBAGS

oh wait i’m not the tallest in the chat anymore :(

 

- filth! changed Joey Ramone ’s nickname to leggy boi !-

 

filth!: sorry but i need to do that

no proper names here

 

leggy boi: okay fair

also i just noticed dee dee said gays instead of guys before adding me

 

hamster bitch: yeah but idc

i’m like 

idk but it’s not straight

 

cookie: does oUR LIL SID HAVE A CRUSH????

 

hamster bitch: NO SHUT UP

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: HOLY SHIT HE DOES

 

filth: I’M IN CLASS W HIM RN AND HE’S BRIGHT RED-

SIDNEY WHO ARE YOU GAY FOR 

 

leggy boi: “johnny are you queer”? nope it’s “sidney are you queer” now

 

hamster bitch: IM NOT GAY FOR ANYONE

 

leggy boi: are you sure about that tho

 

leggy boi: honey everyone is gay to some point 

 

hamster bitch: yeah but i’m not gay for CERTAIN person

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: i thought that said creatin for a sec im-

 

leggy boi: that’s a bullshit lie

 

leggy boi: jesus you’re so weird doug

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: true true true

oH
GUYS

DID I TELL YOU I GOT CALLED A CREATIN EARLIER??? 

 

leggy boi: wait fr

 

leggy boi: thats probably because you ARE a creatin smh

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: weirdo creatin \./

Why did i think that looked like a peace sign 

 

leggy boi: douglas-

 

cookie: WAIT

DEE DEE

YOUR NAME

IS DOUGLAS?????

 

leggy boi: you didn’t know???

 

leggy boi: bitch even LOOKS like a douglas smh

 

cookie: EVERYONE CALLS HIM DEE DEE HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

DOUGLAS
D O U G L A S

 

leggy boi: bitch looks like a fuckin’ lego

 

leggy boi: cause he’s a lil lego bitch that prefers to be called dee dee :/

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: please stop-

I came to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked rn 

 

jonesy: hA he just got kicked out for laughing

 

hamster bitch: well this is wild

FREDDIE FUCKING MERCURY JUST CAME IN DANCING BALLET WHAT- 

 

filth: iconic 

 

hamster bitch: HE’S NOT EVEN IN THIS CLASS

Wait johnny where’d you go

 

- leggy boi changed fuck if i know where to go with this one ’s name to that one bICON !-

 

leggy boi: there that’s better :)

 

that one bICON: ty joey ily 

 

filth: lol sneaked out because the teacher is a dick

 

leggy boi: sorry had to hide my phone lol and no problem

 

leggy boi: johnny which class u in

 

filth: i was in math w sid but i just ditched 

now i am wandering the halls

 

that one bICON: hold on i’m joining you johnny (our johnny) is being a dick behind me 

 

leggy boi: i dont get why john is always such a fuckin prick tbh

 

that one bICON: bc he’s a bitch boi

LET’S ALL DITCH AND HANG ON THE ROOF

 

filth: already on the way

 

hamster bitch: HOLD ON IM OUTTA HERE

 

cookie: sid did you just naruto run down the hall 

 

leggy boi: i just saw him

he zoom

i’m going out to gimme a sec

tommy is coming

and he just dragged marky out 

this should be fun




that one bICON: YAS MARKY MY DUDE

CAN WE ADD HIM CAN WE ADD HIM CAN WE ADD HIM

 

hamster bitch: ADD THEM BOTH

 

cookie: fun fact sid stopped to type that before naruto running again

leggy boi: sid chill for fucks sake you almost knocked me over

 

- that one bICON added Tommy Ramone and Marky Ramone to the group chat!-

 

- leggy boi changed Marky Ramone ’s name to Plumber Boi !-

 

leggy boi: there that’s better lmfao

 

Plumber Boi: i really fucking hate you, i just want you to know that, okay?

 

leggy boi: haha love you too

 

- that one bICON changed the group name to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

filth: SID FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP NARUTO RUNNING

WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU

 

Tommy Ramone: why do i get the feeling i need to be the mature one

 

that one bICON: pls your the best mom friend 

 

filth: OH I GOT ONE

 

- filth changed Tommy Ramone ’s nickname to mom !-

 

hamster bitch: mother? 

 

mom: johnny i will give you 3 seconds

 

cookie: that sentence did not help your case

 

leggy boi: *sits back and casually eats popcorn* this is fun.

 

hamster bitch: I AM HERE

 

that one bICON: did you even breath.

 

hamster bitch: I did not have time 

 

jonesy: hey yeah almost there 

 

leggy boi: WE ARE ALSO HERE

 

cookie: SQUAD

ASSEMBLE 

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️

 

cookie: don’t gimme that emoji

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️

 

mom: good lord here we go again

 

cookie: bitch

 

mom: don’t give me that foul language

 

cookie: bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch- 

 

mom: fuckin slut bitch don’t mAKE mE come OVER there

 

leggy boi: yall fucked with the wrong person 

oh sweet jesus

y’all i speak from experience here:

tommy is scary when he’s angry

 

hamster bitch: REGRETS, I’VE HAD A FEW

 

filth!: STOP WITH THE FRANK SINATRA FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE CARES

 

leggy boi: SID SHUT UP SKJGHFGKJFG

 

hamster bitch: wow

Okay

 

that one bICON: am i the only one a lil worried over how quiet he just got or??? 

 

leggy boi: who? tommy? or sid??

If you’re talking about tommy then you better sprint

 

that one bICON: sid

ik about tommy 

 

leggy boi: sid are you alive??? 

 

hamster bitch: yeah i just shut up 

 

filthy: sid we didn’t mean it like that- 

pls stop being so quiet its freaky 

 

leggy boi: ngl it really truly is seeing you be quiet

 

hamster bitch: DO YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO SHUT UP OR NOT

 

leggy boi: woah okay c h i l l there mate

 

that one bICON: sid did you just angrly naruto run off the roof

 

leggy boi: excuse me wHAT

 

leggy boi: chECK IF HES OKAY YOU IDIOT

 

jonesy: he’s fine he just ran by me

but seriously he looks actually upset-

i have never seen him this sad it lowkey it almost hurts-

 

leggy boi: imma go find him

my son needs cuddles uwu

 

filth: do u regularly adopt people

 

leggy boi: isn’t that my job

i mean

im a severely mentally ill person

its kinda my job to casually adopt people 

so that way they feel like they have a place where they belong :3

 

jonesy: wow this got very wholesome very fast aww

can you adopt me too

 

leggy boi: try not being a fucking dick and maybe THEN i’ll adopt you 

 

that one bICON: pFFFT-

 

filth: that’s what you get for stealing my one not shitty water bottle 

 

leggy boi: dont make me find you and beat your ass harder than i did axl’s smfh

 

cookie: wait

WAIT THAT WAS YOU

 

leggy boi: uhhh-

 

leggy boi: sis needa catch up

 

cookie: THAT COBAIN KID IN THE YEAR BELOW US WAS TALKING ABOUT IT AT LUNCH

HE WAS ONE OF THE KIDS AXL WAS BEING SHITTY TO
HE SAID HE LOVED THE PERSON WHO DID IT LOL 

 

leggy boi: bro that cobain kid is sooooo nice-

him and sid are my newest chirren uwu

 

that one bICON: should we add him

 

- leggy boi added Kurt Cobain to the group chat!-

- leggy boi changed Kurt Cobain ’s name to babey punk !-

 

leggy boi: kurt my dear son welcome to hell

babey punk: hello idk what’s happening but i will not question it

also why is sid vicious naruto running down the hall 

oh the principal just caught him 

r i p

 

leggy boi: I JUST CHOKED ON MY WATER SDKJGHSFKGJ

 

filth: can i waterfall????? someone stole my water bottle >.>

 

leggy boi: i’ll buy you a new one @ the vending machine outside of whatshisfaces room lmao

 

filth: thank you but sTEVE STILL STOLE MY LAST DECENT WATER BOTTLE LIKE A DICK SHIT-

 

leggy boi: lol my check comes today so i can buy you a fancy one

 

filth: you don’t have to do that

I have another bottle at home but i’m still pissed at steve

 

jonesy: WHY ARE YOU MAD WHEN YOU HAVE ANOTHER

 

filth: BC I GAVE ALL THE GOOD ONES TO MY LIL SIBLINGS 

 

leggy boi: should i add my brother into this gc lmfao

 

filth: i don’t think anyone else will object 

 

- leggy boi added Mitchel Hyman to the group chat!-

- leggy boi changed Mitchel Hyman ’s name to smol bro !-

 

leggy boi: wassup lil bro

 

smol bro: damnit i was paying attention

 

jonesy: H Y M A N

 

hamster bitch: it’s like your last name is saying hi

 

leggy boi: well that’s us jews for ya

 

leggy boi: btw its pronounced “high-men”

and yes, it DOES trigger my OCD lmao

 

jonesy: my mind went to a much less innocent place than sid’s did 

 

filth: steve wtf

that is someones NAME 

you Do Not Do That

 

leggy boi: guys how do i escape johnny (our johnny)

he just threatened to beat me up for so fuckin reason

im gonna have a panic attack lol

 

that one bICON: fuck this i’m fighting him 

 

leggy boi: have fun getting your ass beat

where are you i need cuddles

like really bad ;-;

 

that one bICON: OMW

 

filth: can everyone stop naruto running pls

 

leggy boi: yay :3

 

leggy boi: nobody cares about naruto running anymore

it’s dead

just like i wanna be-

 

hamster bitch: dad no pls

 

leggy boi: tHERE’S MAI SON UWU

CMERE SO DAD CAN YOU CHU LE CUDDLES UWU

 

hamster bitch: i wanna 

but i am stuck in the principal office

not fun

babey punk: the big oof

 

leggy boi: jesus christ

here we go again~

 

hamster bitch: guess who has detention :D

 

leggy boi: that’s your punishment you idiot lmfao

dumbfuck bitch headass

 

hamster bitch: i knew that… 

can i not be sarcastic 

 

leggy boi: can you not be a dumbfuck all the fucking time?

 

hamster bitch: you know what? 

fine 

 

- hamster bitch has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

leggy boi: “tHAtS nOt vERY pUnk rOck oF yOu”

 

leggy boi: he *does* know im just fucking around

right 

 

cookie: uh, guys?

i just saw sid in the hall 

he legit looked like he was about to cry

 

filth: eh he’s been like that all day

over-sensitive 

it’s just that kinda day for him

 

that one bICON: yeah no i saw him too he looked actually upset

should i talk to him? 

 

leggy boi: probably

my lil son probably goin thru some shit

the poor bean

 

leggy boi: okay i officially feel bad and guilty now

 

plumber boi: full offense but you should feel bad 

 

that one bICON: ha nvm Mercury beat me to it 

hmmmmnnnn 

 

leggy boi: fuck it 

bye 

 

- leggy boi has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

jonesy: noooooooo the squad is collapsing 

tommy you were voted mom friend pls help 

 

mom: for fucks sake you guys this is all yall’s fault but mine

 

cookie: JUST BECAUSE IT WAS OUR FAULT DOESN’T MEAN WE KNOW HOW TO FIX IT

 

mom: y’all are the most untrustworthy most troublesome children that i have ever met in my entire fifteen years of being a casual friendly neighborhood jew.

 

filth: hey we’re trying our best

i mean it’s shit

But we’re TRYING

 

mom: y’all motherfuckers best be tryin harder smfh

y’all fuckin wear me o u t

 

jonesy: :(

 

mom: y’all can’t give me ONE DAY to relax, can you? 😩😩😩

y’all i’m too fuckin tired to deal with yalls bullshit anymore 😩😩😩

 

cookie: BUT FATHER IS GONE WE HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO

 

mom: maybe if y’all werent such s h i t h e a d s he’d still be here

 

cookie: we didn’t mean it tho

he knows we were just joking 

 

mom: :/

 

filth: what???? we were

 

mom: this is y’alls problem

byeeeee

 

- mom has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

cookie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WTF DO WE DO

WE HAVE NO RESPONSIBLE ONES

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 

that one bICON: sorry i got sidetracked 

what happened

nO tOMMY lEFt

oH nO

 

cookie: WE HAVE NO SUPERVISION 

wait sidetracked by what i thought you were with sid 

 

that one bICON: Mercury beat me to comforting sid and i was standing by to make sure nothing happened bc he seems great but idk him well enough and sid is a bit of a mess rn

Also i think side has a crush on him and if he hurts him more i will be forced to fight him

*sid

gotta protecc my Bassist Bud ™ 

 

babey punk: im just gonna pretend that im not here

 

that one bICON: noooooooo child :(

 

babey punk: heheheh

 

cookie: wait what do you mean you think sid has a crush on Mercury

 

babey punk: Freddie is in my choir class and he has the best voice tbh

 

that one bICON: ngl i wouldnt be surprised if he got every solo :/

 

filth: same tbh 

but what do you mean sid had a crush on him???

 

that one bICON: i mean he just broke down freely in front of him which usually dosen’t do unless he trusts them 

and they aren’t very close

soooo- 

 

babey punk: poor childer :(

now i just wanna hug this poor kid ;-;

 

filth: kurt you’re the youngest in this chat

 

babey punk: and?

what’s wrong with caring for a kid that’s older than me?

 

jonesy: Dee Dee and Kurt are both wholesome we should all be more like them

 

babey punk: im wholesome now because you said that

 

jonesy: uwu

Hold on we need mom and dad and sid back

 

- jonesy added hamster bitch , leggy boi , and mom to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

cookie: hello we missed yall 

and also need Responsible Adults 

 

leggy boi: ughhh i dont wanna bE hERE

and honestly since when am i a “responsible adult”

 

cookie: better than most of us

 

leggy boi: once again h o w

 

jonesy: have you not met us?????

we are Chaos Children™ 

 

mom: yes i can see

 

filith: so

sid 

mercury, huh? 

 

leggy boi: oh sweet jesus here we go again

 

hamster bitch: yes he was nice to me what about it

 

filth: so is he your crush???? 

 

hamster bitch: will any of you ever let go of the possibility of me having a crush?????

 

leggy boi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.

HAHAHAHAHA YOU FUNNY

 

hamster bitch: why are you all so bloody obsessed with me having a crush???

 

cookie: bc it’s YOU

 

leggy boi: because you’re like the l a s t person we’d expect to have a fuckin crush tbfh

 

hamster bitch: AND I DON’T HAVE ONE

 

filth: it’s painfully obvious that you do 

 

hamster bitch: it’s none of your business

leave it alone, ya?  

 

that one bICON: then why are you all defensive

 

leggy boi: fr though like

honestly

if you don’t like someone

then y u so defensive 

 

hamster bitch: BECAUSE YOU ALL KEEP INSISTING THAT I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

leggy boi: if you dont have a crush then stop being so defensive lmfao

 

hamster bitch: THEN LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️

 

that one bICON: actually is my business i need to protect my Bassist Bud ™ 

 

leggy boi: out of respect for your sensitive lil self

im not gonna say what i was gonna say

plus i honestly just forgot what i was gonna say lmfao

 

cookie: a whole mood

 

leggy boi: im like the most forgetful person that yall will *EVER* meet smfh

 

mom: why is everyone like this

sid: chill it’s fine

everyone else: just ignore his obvious crush on freddie 

 

leggy boi: can i go to bed

 

mom: yes joey go to the nurse and tell her you have a headache she will let you take a nap and not bother you unless you stay til dismissal 

 

leggy boi: wait fr?

this-

tHIS.

 

mom: yes

if y’all didn’t sleep last night go do that 

you can make up class but not sleep and misery 

 

jonesy: tommy teaching some good self care tips what a good mom

 

mom: it’d be amazing if i took my own advice :)

 

leggy boi: bro i was just so depressed last night that i couldnt sleep lmao

also same on tommy’s statement

 

jonesy: let’s all go take naps :)


leggy boi: im literally yawning just thinking and talking about alla this

Chapter Text

leggy boi: oh shit im having a gay panic

 

that one bICON: who????? 

 

leggy boi: yall know that new aaron kid

im having a gay panic

 

that one bICON: have not seen him yet

oh wait i just saw him

OH SHIT HE HOT

 

leggy boi: bitch back oFF hes mINE

 

that one bICON: can i not just say that he is hot 

oh hey there’s a new girl too

 

leggy boi: i think her name is gia

she’s friends with aaron already im pretty sure

 

that one bICON: she’s got a leather jacket and a tattered skirt but also neat lil knee highs and a flower crown so respect 

 

hamster bitch: A FASHION ICON??? I THINK YES

GONNA GO MAKE A FREN

 

leggy boi: yall aaron is wearing our band’s merch and ripped black skinny jeans with black chuck taylors and spike bracelets im hAVING A gAY pANIC

HE’S EVEN WEARING EYELINER SDJGHS

 

flith: sid stop being a fashion victim jeeze

 

leggy boi: no u

 

hamster bitch: i talked to them they are nice i like them 

 

leggy boi: i just talked to aaron and he said he liked my outfit i-

ive never been this gay before

yall best be throwin my jewish gay ass in jail

 

mom: i just watched gia vibe check johnny-

 

leggy boi: sfkjghfsgjSFHJFDJGDFJGHDFJHF

IM WEAKKKKK

 

jonesy: We Have No Choice But To Stan Two New Kids

one to give joey a gay panic

and one to vibe check johnny (other johnny not our johnny) 

 

mom: johnny said some shit and she just went “Vibe Check!!!!!” and yeeted a text book at his head lol 

 

leggy boi: hOLD UP THIS SHIT GOT ME DYING

 

that one bICON: i like her

also like aaron he is Cool™ 

i am talking to him rn

and chill joey i’m talking you up to him

 

leggy boi: im sorry whAt™

you whAT mATE

 

that one bICON: I’M TALKING YOU UP TO HIM NOW SHUSH 

 

leggy boi: thanks for causing me to have a panic attack lmao

 

that one bICON: SORRY DID NOT MEAN TO DO THAT JUST WANTED TO HAVE HIM SEE YOU BEIN COOL

 

leggy boi: fghdjfghd i gotta go im having a panic attack lol

and its mixing with my ocd lmao

 

mom: want me to walk you to the nurse? 

 

cookie: well that took a turn

a bad turn

can we get an oof in the chat for our frien????? 

 

leggy boi: i 

pl eas e wa lk me th e re-

or get  h er 

 

mom: where are you? 

im on my way-

 

leggy boi: guys b ath room  floo r 2

 

mom: okay okay i’m comin’ with the nurse

 

leggy boi: so ry im a h a s sle

 

mom: you are Not

We’re almost there 

 

hamster bitch: well this is awkward-

no offense-

but idk what to say lol

 

plumber boi: oh w o w i missed a lot- 

 

hamster bitch: honestly yeah

 

plumber boi: oof

wait there’s new kids??? 

 

cookie: new kids on the block 

 

jonesy: NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK HAD A BUNCH OF HITS CHINESE FOOD MAKES ME SICK-

filth: NO
WE DO NOT SAY THAT SONG 

 

leggy boi: i hate that song

it’s so bad it’s half funny

 

that one bICON: Y’ALL I SAW THEM BOTH AND

CAN YOU H E A R ME HAVING A BI PANIC- 

 

hamster bitch: yes

i am right next to you 

pls calm down 

 

leggy boi: hi hi hi im calm again lol

 

babey punk: HI YES GOOD 

 

leggy boi: im still kinda ocd-ridden tho haha

but im definitely better than i was about ten minutes ago

 

that one bICON: GOOD 

 

leggy boi: pls stahp yelling ;-;

jesus im still anxious hA-

 

that one bICON: oh okay sorry

hold on i’m coming upstairs i’m gonna give you cuddles 

 

leggy boi: yay yay yay yay yay

i need sooooo many cuddles rn

your cuddles are the best ;w;

 

that one bICON: okay okay gimme a minute it’s that one bitchy teacher’s class 

okay i’m out

don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious~ 

OH FUCK I ALMOST GOT CAUGHT 

on the move again

 

leggy boi: aaaaand im anxious again~

ocd and anxiety suck

 

that one bICON: sorry i panicked and forgot

 

mom: dee i can actually hear you singing don’t be suspicious quiet down

 

that one bICON: i have arrived with cuddles

 

leggy boi: this is just making me more anxious-

why am i so nervous i dont undersTaND

shit thats seven words sjhsdjkg

 

that one bICON: i’m here

 

leggy boi: gimme cuddles ;-;

 

cookie: better than any spy flick lol

007 who? sorry i only know dee dee

 

that one bICON: you will have the cuddles :D

 

leggy boi: guys hes so w a r m

warm cuddlies uwu

 

hamster bitch: that’s nice

 

filth: he says, laying across my body so i cannot move 

 

leggy boi: why am i so anxious though

i dont understand why im so nervous and scared ;_;

 

jonesy: bc god realized that if your abilities + motivation weren’t in check/represed/doubted you would’ve killed him by now

 

leggy boi: forget it

im done

bye

dont bother adding me again

 

- leggy boi has left CREATIN CUSTERFUCK !-

 

jonesy: I MEANT THAT TO BE NICE- 

 

that one bICON: goddamn it jonesy :/

 

jonesy: I STG IT WASN’T MEANT TO BE AN ASSHOLE THING I ACTUALLY MEANT THAT AS A NICE THING-

 

that one bICON: hes crying and having a panic attack brb

 

jonesy: SHIT I’M SORRY

 

that one bICON: brb -3-

 

jonesy: well i fucked up 

 

hamster bitch: that you did

 

cookie: yeah man that was Bad™ 

 

that one bICON: okay he’s calmed down a bit but he’s still crying

poor bby

jonesy you just /LOVE/ to fuck with people dontchya

 

jonesy: I DIDN’T MEAN IT TO BE AN ASSHOLE I SWEAR

I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY I WAS TRYING TO CHEER HIM UP HONEST TO GOD

I SWEAR ON MY MOTHER’S GOOD NAME-

 

that one bICON: aint nOBODY better hurt my bby anymore -3-

if any of yall hurt joey imma find you and beat your ass

 

hamster bitch: you say that like you’re dating 

 

that one bICON: so what if we are

aint nothin wrong with it

if u got a problem with it then you can fuck right off the face of the motherfucking earth 

you homophobic piece of utter shit

 

hamster bitch: never said i had a problem with it

just didn’t know you two were together

it is News to me 

have fun don’t get pregnent 

*pregant 

*PREGNANT 

i can’t spell 

 

that one bICON: wE’rE NOT dATiNG

all of you guys suck so much oh my god

 

filith: idk… you guys act like you’re dating a lot… 

didn’t you two kiss at a party once???

cookie: i was there but it was to piss off other johnny

 

that one bICON: see now you guys are making ME anxious

okay fINE wE’RE dATinG oKAY now shUT UP ABOUT IT

 

cookie: tommy you owe me five bucks

 

mom: damnit 

 

that one bICON: ffs you guys bET ON THIS SHIT???

you guys all fucking s u c k

 

mom: dee 

Sweetie

it’s obvious to anyone with eyes

i was trying to be nice and say you weren’t but-

 

that one bICON: joeys seeing the messages and hes calming down uwu

 

cookie: good

 

hamster bitch: TELL DAD I SAID HI

 

babey punk: what’d i miss??? My phone got taken away 

 

that one bICON: joey was having an ocd-ridden panic attack, joey is depressed, joey and i are dating, joey is being a sensitive lil bean, and jones has become an extra huge asshole

thats basically it

oh, and joey left the chat after jonesy made a statement as to why joey was so anxious

 

jonesy: I WASN”T TRYING TO BE AN ASSHOLE I SWEAR

PLS TELL JOEY THAT I AM SORRY AND WAS NOT TRYING TO BE AN ASSHOLE
I RIPPED IT FROM A SIMILAR TUMBLR POST THAT MADE ME LAUGH AND THOUGHT IT WOULD CHEER HIM UP OKAY

I MADE M I S T A K E S

 

hamster bitch: yes you did 

 

that one bICON: bro

you L I T E R A L L Y made him have a panic attack

 

jonesy: I DIDN’T MEAN TO

 

that one bICON: i /KNOW/ you didnt mean to but it really pisses me off

and it pisses joey off to

hes severe ocd, anxiety, and he also has bad schizophrenia and bad depression

hes a smol sensitive bean

ya gotta be careful about what to say to joey 

 

jonesy: I’M SORRY, OKAY????

 

that one bICON: i know

just give joey a couple days to chill and cool off and then try talking to him, okay?

i gtg bring him to the nurse so he can get his meds

ill brb

 

jonesy: okay 

 

babey punk: are we just gonna ignore that johnny said him and sid are cuddling or?????

 

filth: yeah we got bored of class and went to hang out under the bleachers 

and sid is a slut for affection and wanted to cuddle

except his idea of cuddling is “lay on the right side on a person and then lay across them til your head is on their left side and their arms fall asleep” 

except he also fell asleep and i don’t wanna move him

boi is a literal child 

also idk if it’s just because i have a whole entire person on top of me but it is warm out

 

that one bICON: sorry i was helping joey to the nurse lol

hes still crying the poor bean

we’re cuddling atm

what did i miss

joey says hes really sorry for being “so fucking sensitive to the point where my panic attacks have gone through the roof”

 

filth: he is Fine 

and he didn’t miss much just sid being a slut for affection and my arms falling asleep 

why is sid like this

 

babey punk: a sleepy boi?? Or a cuddly boi??

 

filth: yes 

 

cookie: good question

HEY SID

 

filth: NO STOP HE’S STILL ASLEEP I DON’T WANNA WAKE HIM 

 

that one bICON: joey fell asleep uwu

he is a soft boi uwu

uwu uwu uwu uwu uwu

guys im a soft boi now

hes so cuddly and warm

 

babey punk: awwww uwu

 

that one bICON: uwu

should i add him in again-

 

filth: if he wants too

 

that one bICON: ill ask him when he wakes up

i wanna talk about smth that involved him but idk if he’d want me to say anything about it since i dont have his permission to do so

so imma just stay quiet

heheheheh

 

hamster bitch: i’m awake what did i miss 

i’m awake

but at what cost

 

filth: the cost is me regaining feeling in my arms you lil shit

 

that one bICON: the main point that you missed:

joey and i are dating uwu

 

hamster bitch: FINALLY 

 

that one bICON: >/////<

 

filth: he legit just squealed

 

that one bICON: okay joey says he wants me to say what i was talking about earlier

 

hamster bitch: ¿que?

 

that one bICON: for anyone who doesnt know just scroll up a lil

okay so basically

joey is a trans guy

poor bean just curled up in a ball-

 

hamster bitch: oh chill 

 

jonesy: never say chill again

but good for him



filth: jonsey don’t be fuckin rude

but yeah nice

 

that one bICON: okay honestly jonesy if ur gonna be a huge fucking piece of shit over the tiniest things like this then you can leave the fucking gc

like honestly

 

jonesy: i was talking to sid 

i’m fine with joey 

 

that one bICON: i dont

give

a flying

fuck

dont

be

a bitch

 

jonesy: okay okay jeeze 

 

that one bICON: THAT GOES FOR THE REST OF YOU GUYS

IF I FIND OUT

THAT A N Y OF YOU

HURT JOEY

IMMA GONNA MURDER YOU

 

hamster bitch: i’ll help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

babey punk: me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

that one bICON: joeys hugging me ;w;

i iz soft boi ;w;

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO BE SO PRECIOUS 😭😭😭😭😭

 

filth: bc y’all are dorks??? 

i meant that affectionately by the way

 

that one bicon: bro hes literally the C U T E S T   B A B E Y 😭😭😭😭😭

 

that one bICON: bro theres new emojis :O

and they work for us :OOO

👩‍🎤 👨‍🎤

 

hamster bitch: Dee Dee: *gushes about bf*
me: need me a freak like that 

 

jonesy: slut

 

hamster bitch: i just want love is that too much to ask?????

 

that one bICON: oh go fuck johnny rotten for christs sake lmfao

 

hamster bitch: i said love not sex can u not read

 

filth: OI

 

that one bICON: sorry joey was anxious again

 

filth: he okay?????

 

that one bICON: i think?

hes been a lot more anxious lately for some reason and even my cuddles wont help him calm down as much as they used to :(((((

poor bby :(((((

 

filth: that sucks 

 

hamster bitch: D: 

o gays i just remembered i have a brownie in my bag

day improved by 1000000000000000000000%

 

filth: you are an actual child 

 

mom: that’s nice

 

hamster bitch: DEE DEE 

CAN YOU ASK JOEY IF HE WANTS A BROWNIE BC I CAN BREAK IT IN HALF 

 

jonesy: hello everyone i just woke up from a nap in history 

WAIT SID CAN I HAVE A BROWNIE 

 

hamster bitch: no ur a wanker 

 

cookie: ha get rekt 

 

mom: boys

pls

chill 

 

filth: i tried to get them to do that before it Will Not Work

also i just noticed like 99% of this school is named john/johnny 

 

mom: it can’t be that many

 

filth: me

ramone 

decon 

lennon 

thunders 

sid’s actual name is john too 

that’s just off the top of my head 

 

jonesy: … shit you’re right

 

that one bICON: joey says he’d like a brownie uwu

 

hamster bitch: OK I’M COMING UP 

 

filth: SID STOP NARUTO RUNNING EVERYWHERE 

 

mom: wait

sid’s real name is john????

explain??? 

 

hamster bitch: my real (full) name is John Simon Ritchie 

but johnny had a hamster named syd after Syd Barret 

and it bit me

and i said “ur sid is vicious” 

And now i’m sid vicious bc everyone is called john/johnny and my first name is after my birth dad who was a jerk

 

that one bICON: oh hi sid i see u

We’re in that one smol tiny hallway thats kinda hidden everything

 

hamster bitch: AM HERE 

 

that one bICON: lol

 

mom: wtf did your birth dad do

 

hamster bitch: nothing too bad he was just a dick 

 

that one bICON: joey’s crying again the poor bby

brb imma give him aaaaallllllllll the cuddlies

 

hamster bitch: heading back to the bleachers. brownie has been delivered 

 

filth: well there goes my peace >_> 

 

hamster bitch: fuck u i’m a delight 

 

jonesy: eeeeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhh

 

cookie: i mean- 

 

filth: not really 

 

hamster bitch: …

WELL TOMMY THINKS I’M OKAY 

 

mom: well um- 

 

hamster bitch: kurt? marky? 

 

babey punk: you’re a bit wild 

 

plumber boi: you’re okay when… 

fuck lemme think 

 

hamster bitch: joey? dee dee? 

i’m not bad right

 

that one bICON: fuck all of you sid is a TOTAL delight

and we alctually mean that :3

 

hamster bitch: ty dee dee  

 

that one bICON: np hamster bitch lmao

 

filth: i never said you BAD

you just get a lil annoying 

 

that one bICON: joeys calming down uwu

 

filth: GOOD

SID WHY ARE YOU NARUTO RUNNING AWAY AGAIN

 

hamster bitch: GONNA GIVE MY DAD A HUG 

 

that one bICON: sid im honestly beginning to think that youre adhd or some shit

 

hamster bitch: probably 

 

that one bICON: still luv u like a brother uwu

 

hamster bitch: ty uwu 

wait what was i doing

i’m in the middle of the hall 

am confusion 

 

that one bICON: literally me-

 

filth: scroll up 

 

hamster bitch: OH RIGHT
TELL JOEY I’M COMING WITH HUGS 

 

that one bICON: he says hes not comfortable with hugs unless theyre from me-

 

hamster bitch: oh

I’M COMING WITH DUMB GOSSIP AND BAD PUNS 

 

filth: guys should i add the new kids i wanna adopt the smol punks 

they are also chilling under the bleachers rn that’s why i’m asking

aaron is bein a bean and gia is chatting with joplin 

guys i think joplin is about to adopt them may i pls add them 

 

that one bICON: get their numbers skdjghsfkjghsf

or their instagram usernames

 

filth: on it one sec

 

hamster bitch: un segundo puta 

 

that one bICON: Nenn mich keine Schlampe, du Schlampe

 

cookie: um

oui 

 

jonesy: paul what 

 

cookie: I DIDN’T WANNA BE LEFT OUT IF THE BILINGUALE THING THEY HAD GOING

 

that one bICON: btw, that says “dont call me a bitch, you bitch”

 

hamster bitch: actually!!!!!!!!

“puta” means whore!!!!!!!!!

get your insults straight!!!!!!!!

 

mom: when

when did you even learn spanish 

 

hamster bitch: i mean i’m not fluent 

but my mum and i lived in spain for a bit when i was v little

and my step dad is spanish 

 

that one bICON: you fucking idiot it means “bitch”

joey is being a soft boi ;w;

 

mom: sid do you ever notice you just drop info on your life w no context 

 

that one bICON: pFFFT-

mom be right tho

 

hamster bitch: and? 

 

filth: SMOLS ARE BEING ADDED 

 

that one bICON: you got their info???

i wanna meet both of themmmmm

 

- filth has added Aaron Rose and Gia Wilde to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK -

 

Aaron Rose: oh hi :)

 

Gia Wilde: hello y’all i’m gonna pretend to know wtf is happening :D 

 

filth: hold on 

 

- filth had changed Aaron Rose ’s nickname to rosie boi !-

 

- filth has changed Gia Wilde ’s nickname to wild flower child !-

 

rosie boi: can we pick something more masculine-

 

- that one bICON changed rosie boi ’s name to gay child !-

 

gay child: ty uwu

 

that one bICON: np child

 

gay child: oh sweet jesus ive been adopted havent i

 

wild flower child: ooo a pun ty 

wait have we????????

 

gay child: oh lord 

we have :o

:O

 

wild flower child: OH 

ty uwu 

 

that one bICON: joey says hello btw to everyone

 

gay child: hewwo uwu

thank you for adopting us ;w;

 

wild flower child: hello!!!!!!! 

ty 

 

that one bICON: not a problem uwu

 

babey punk: wait can i add some peoples

 

that one bICON: yee yee my guy

 

- babey punk has added Dave Ghrol and Krist Novoselic to the group chat! -

- that one bICON changed Dave Grohl ’s name to grohling along !-

- that one bICON changed Krist Novoselvic ’s name to christ himself !-

 

grohling along: hi is this the chaos chat

 

hamster bitch: no this is sid 

 

grohling along: okay i walked right into that one- 

 

christ himself: ty this is the best nickname i’ve gotten 

 

babey punk: hey i gave you good nicknames

 

christ himself: hmn yes kurt lets count them: 

-john mulaney's tall child bit

-tree

-large man 

-dumpster fire on the empire state

-mountain 

-excessively long man 

-too heckin tall 

 

that one bICON: dont make me rethink changing ur name krist

 

christ himself: pls don’t 

 

hamster bitch: tag yourself i’m dumpster fire on the empire state 

 

that one bICON: tommy, (our) johnny, joey and i got an idea

 

wild flower child: wait the johnny here or the other johnny 

i am big dumb 

 

that one bICON: is john cummings here-

or is it just johnny rotten?

 

jonesy: WAIT
CUMMINGS????

 

wild flower child: wait is cummings the one i threw a textbook at 

 

that one bICON: yeah what about him

im friends with him

even though he’s a bit of a cunt

probably

did he have long brown hair and a bitchy look on his face?

 

jonesy: HIS LAST NAME IS ACTUALLY /CUMMINGS/????

 

that one bICON: yes thats his legitimate last name

 

wild flower child: yeah that bastard

he talked shit so he got hit 

 

that one bICON: who did he talk shit about

if he talked shit about joey im gonna beat his ass

 

wild flower child: let’s just say fucking w my friends is bad for your health :) 

 

that one bICON: good lord 

who the fuck did he talk shit about though

 

wild flower child: K

smol girl doodling in the back of class

 

that one bICON: what did she look like

i might know her

 

wild flower child: smol

black hair 

bisexual bob™ 

vvvv sweet 

i’d ask to add her but i’m pretty sure i’m the only one here she knows and it would make her anxious so- 

not doing that 

 

hamster bitch: wait what’s the idea 

pls tell

pls 

por favor 

 

that one bICON: well now you’re gonna wait 

 

hamster bitch: ;_; 

 

that one bICON: okay tOMMY (our) JOHNNY

JOEY AND I HAVE AN IDEAAAAA

 

hamster bitch: sPILL 

 

that one bICON: MINE AND JOEY’S IDEA IS THAT THE FOUR OF US START A BAND

 

hamster bitch: YES DO THAT 

 

that one bICON: FJGSKJGKJG WHADDYA THINK TOMMY

GO ASK THE CUNT NAMED JOHN WILLIAM CUMMINGS

 

mom: I CAN PLAY DRUMS

 

cookie: i thought of something horrible 

john william CUNTings 

 

than one bICON: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

THATS THE BEST THING IVE EVER HEARD 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

 

cookie: ty

 

babey punk: I JUST SNORTED IN CLASS FUCK-

OH NO

WAIT THIS IS THE ONE CLASS I HAVE WITH HIM FUCK-

 

that one bICON: JFDGHFJGHDJGHDFJGDGJHDGHDJ

MAKE SURE HE DOESNT SEE YOUR SCREEN-

 

babey punk: HE’S RIGHT BEHIND ME 

 

that one bICON: EVERYONE SPAM THE GC SO CUMMINGS DOESNT SEE 

 

babey punk: I THINK HE ALREADYAJKEDFS

Hello it’s Johnny 

Care to explain? 

 

that one bICON: i mean

cookie was right ngl-

pleasedontbeatmeupimprecious

 

babey punk: Sure

GUYS IT’S ME I’M BACK 

johnny just ran out of class

the teacher is yelling 

Don’t Like That 

 

that one bICON: guys imma have a panic attack brb

 

hamster bitch: I FOUND HIM

he’s in that lil secret hallway people hide out in sometimes
he’s just leaning against the wall and breathing weird????

 

that one bICON: wait what

i is confusion whats going on

the fuck you mean “breathing weird”

 

hamster bitch: it’s like 

*rattly breath in* 

*slow shaky breath out*

it weird 

 

that one bICON: sid come over here and watch joey 

im gonna go check on john

haul some ass over here m8

and you have my special permission to naruto run

 

hamster bitch: I’M COMIN 

 

that one bICON: haul some ass motherfucker

 

hamster bitch: I’M ALMOST THERE 

 

that one bICON: okay joey says to just not really hug him unless he asks for it or signals for it (((when he crosses his arms over his chest; usually when hes super anxious)))

 

hamster bitch: OKAY GOTCHA 

 

that one bICON: ill brb uwu

 

hamster bitch: AM HERE

 

that one bICON: aight bet ill be back as soon as i can

 

hamster bitch: OKAY

 

cookie: okay he’s a dick but is cummings okay???

i feel bad now 

 

- that one bICON added Johnny Ramone to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

- that one bICON changed Johnny Ramone ’s name to bonus johnny !-

 

that one bICON: yALL JOHNNY IS GOING THROUGH A LOT OF SHIT WE NEED TO GIVE HIM ALL THE POSITIVE ENERGY WE CAN POSSIBLY GIVE OUR BEAN

johnny bby if u want me to change it i can uwu

 

wild flower child: okay johnny i’m sorry for vibe checking you with a textbook

 

cookie: and im sorry from the bottom of my cunt worthy heart for calling you cuntings 

*offers you a cookie*

 

plumber boi: am i the only one that pays attention in class?????

 

that one bICON: apparently yes

thats probably because you’re gonna be going to school to become a plumber 🤠

 

plumber boi: i am NOT 

i am gonna be a DRUMMER 

FUCK YOU

 

that one bICON: hAHAHAHAHAHA >:3

BUT SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS JOHNNY HERE NEEDS ALL THE POSITIVE ENERGY HE CAN GET

 

plumber boi: WAIT HE’S HERE
WHAT HAPPENED?????????

 

that one bICON: poor bean got only hate comments >:(

GIVE JOHNNY ALL DA LUV

 

flilth: oh shit

unrelated 

but there are now two johnnys in this chat 

three if we count sid 

 

that one bICON: true

um okay how do we get this to work-

 

filth: honestly idc what anyone calls me 

 

hamster bitch: okay so he ^^^ is bitch 

 

filth: honestly sid fuck you 

 

that one bICON: okay so i had a breakdown and a panic attack

so did johnny

but we fine now 👌🏼

 

cookie: oh wow yikes that is a Mess™ 

 

that one bICON: sis can u ask joey if hes okay being added to the group chat again

*sis

**sis

***S I D

hahaha i cant type-

 

hamster bitch: yeah 

HE SAID OKAY!!!!!

 

that one bICON: yAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

LEMME ADD MY BBY HOLD ON

 

- that one bICON added leggy boi to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

- that one bICON changed leggy boi ’s name to sweet baby doll !-

 

that one bICON: ily bby uwu

 

sweet baby doll: ily 2 dolly uwu

 

that one bICON: ilymore bbyyy uwu

 

hamster bitch: GAY  

 

that one bICON: >w<

 

filth: y’all aren’t gonna believe this 

 

that one bICON: im listenin

 

filth: sid you on??????

 

hamster bitch: yeah????????

 

filth: mercury actually asked about you
quote: “he seemed a bit distressed the other day, is he alright? i’m a bit concerned”

 

sweet baby doll: he legit just screeched and the nurse yelled at him lol 

 

that one bICON: JDGHDHDG IM W E A K

SID IS IN LOVE WITH MERCURY

SID IS IN LOVE WITH MERCURY

I SHIP IT HARDER THAN AMAZON SHIPS ITS PACKAGES

 

hamster bitch: I AM NOT 

 

wild flower child: HOLY FUCKITY

oh wait i’m in class w freddie lol 

hold on 

i’m about to be The Wingwoman 

 

sweet baby doll: im tryna not laugh because sid is having a gay panic

but at the same time its fucking funny as hell

 

hamster bitch: NO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

wild flower child: hush child 

 

sweet baby doll: i just smiled for like the second time today hehe

 

that one bICON: bAbEY

 

sweet baby doll: 😚

 

cookie: am also in this class this is the best thing lol 

gia: hey, freddie, right? 

freddie: of course, darling! And you are…? 

gia: like john mulany, the new kid in town 

I’M FUCKING WHEEZING 

 

that one bICON: FHGDFGFJGHDFGJHDJFHDFG

 

sweet baby doll: lmao

wait that aaron kid just walked in

guys im having a gay panic someone help-

 

that one bICON: IM COMING WITH CUDDLES

 

wild flower child: wait aaron which class are you in again????

 

gay child: history, why?

 

wild flower child: do you have mrs a bc she said something about a quiz but idk if there is one and i have her next period 

 

gay child: yeah im in her class hAhAAAAA

the test got moved to tomorrow :3

 

wild flower child: OH THANK FUCK

 

filth: i was about to joke about when sid was gay for bowie 

but then i remembered everyone is a lil gay for bowie 

 

sweet baby doll: wehres dee dee

 

gay child: somewhere going towards the nurse’s office hehe

also thats true

 

bonus johnny: hey 

 

that one bICON: hewwo uwu

 

filth: hello other johnny 

 

that one bICON: well this is awkward hehe

 

sweet baby doll: i need cuddles again ;_;

 

that one bICON: omw uwu

 

bonus johnny: okay i’m gonna assume i missed a lot? 

 

that one bICON: probably

 

cookie: may i do recap??

 

filth: no bitch i am 

OKAY SO 

we have all the smol punks here they are adopted 

there have been panic attacks 

sid naruto runs everywhere and is his usual annoying self 

and we also ignore his obvious crush on freddie mercury 

 

hamster bitch: im not that annoying…

 

filth: yes you are 

 

- that one bICON removed filth , cookie , jonesy , plumber boi , christ himself , and grohling along from CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

that one bICON: there thats fucking better

 

hamster bitch: ty dad 

wait when did the last two get here 

 

that one bICON: dave and krist?

kurt added them a while back

 

hamster bitch: oh shit I didn’t see them 

 

that one bICON: yall joey and i broke up

 

sweet baby doll: but we’re on good terms uwu

 

that one bICON: i heard that he already together with johnny

yALL I GOT PHOTO EVIDENCE

((*sends pic of johnny and joey on the roof cuddling*))

wild flower child: awwwww cuties

 

gay child: i knew my gaydar was going off :3

 

sweet baby doll: haha im a total freak :)

 

that one bICON: nO.

 

bonus johnny: HEY

i happen to love that freak :(

 

sweet baby doll: >/////<

you guys are so idiotic >///<

you guys are literally friends with a total fucking freak

 

wild flower child: he says, like it changes anything

 

sweet baby doll: i aM A FUCKING FREAK

HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN MY ARMS OH MY GOD

AND MY ENTIRE BODY-

IM A JUNIOR AND IM 6 FEET 2 INCHES

 

wild flower child: bro most people stop growing by our age so that’s pretty normal 

 

sweet baby doll: jhgfdhfdjghdf

im a total fucking f r e a k

i get voices in my head, i have to check things over and over, i have bad luck with certain numbers, i have to clean my glasses a bajillion times a day…

hell i even held a knife to my fucking mother’s throat

 

that one bICON: okay i s w e a r im not trying to be a prick or anything

but lov you should really get checked out for that

 

sweet baby doll: no i know i need to

im getting checked out after school today

just watch me get locked up lmfao

 

bonus johnny: i’m sure you’ll be fine, angel 

 

sweet baby doll: haha we’ll see how long that lasts

 

wild flower child: i doubt it’ll be that bad

 

Chapter Text

that one bICON: so joey got locked up and is gonna be for the next 2 weeks

 

hamster bitch: he

he what 

 

that one bICON: poor bby is getting tested for other mental health stuff

he would say that he had these constant voices in his head

 

bonus johnny: ik he needs this for his mental health 

but i miss him :(

 

wild flower child: i hope he gets better :(

 

babey punk: hi my phone got confiscated what did i miss

 

bonus johnny: a lot 

 

that one bICON: i miss him already
but probably not as much as you miss him johnny

 

bonus johnny: i miss my angel

i want him back

is that selfish?

 

that one bICON: not at all bby

 

bonus johnny: but i know he kinda needs this tho

 

that one bICON: as much as i want him back i know he needs it too

poor bby was on the brink of doing super super bad stuff

poor bb :(((((

 

bonus johnny: fuck it i’m gonna try to see him today whos coming with

i have the cookies he likes in my bag i’m going after school 

 

that one bICON: I WANNA COME I WANNA COME I WANNA COME

 

babey punk: wait is he allowed to have visitors???

 

hamster bitch: like that would stop us 

 

that one bICON: i jus remembered that he can’t--

they want him to fully focus on getting tested and stuff 

along with getting better

 

hamster bitch: can we at least try? 

 

that one bICON: mickey (his lil bro) and i tried and they wouldnt let us in

they wont even allow him to have his parents over

 

babey punk: consider: we are determined children and i’m 99.9% sure sid can pick a lock

 

hamster bitch: i can!!!!!!!

 

that one bICON: guys im not even fucking kidding

im not even overexxagerating

they physically will not let anyone in unless its his therapist or his nurse

they wont even let him get phone calls

 

babey punk: i’m tiny

i can squeeze in a vent 

they won’t even know

 

that one bICON: GUYS IM NOT FUCKING AROUND

YOU GUYS NEED TO TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY

 

babey punk: WE ARE AND WE’RE NOT LEAVING OUR FRIEND ALONE IN THERE

 

that one bICON: okay find go ahead get arrested for all i care

 

babey punk: been there done that

 

hamster bitch: same here

 

that one bICON: …..

wait mickey just texted me hold up

 

bonus johnny: should i ask how you two got arrested 

 

that one bICON: fr

okay so mickey basically said that hes just getting worse because he hasnt been able to have visitors

so 

uh

he literally bribed the nurses

so far hes the only one allowed to be visiting but theres a chance we might get to go

 

bonus johnny: YES OKAY I’M GOING 

I’M GONNA SEE MY ANGEL 

 

that one bICON: mickey said ever since he visited for the first time that hes a tiny bit better and a little more calm

JOHNNY OH MY GOD

YOU AND HIM ARE SO FUCKING C U T E

 

bonus johnny: i am not cute joey is the cute one 

i am the blob next to him 

 

that one bICON: bITCH-

ShUSH

B O T H OF YOU ARE FUCKING ANDSOME AS FUCK

 

hamster bitch: someone pls explain why i thought that said sushi 

 

bonus johnny: nO I’M NOT SDJFIFHSKDJ- 

 

that one bICON: because ur a sushi lover probably

YES YOU ARE FJHJHJDJFGJDFGHDFJGJDFH

 

hamster bitch: idk if i am i never actually had it 

 

that one bICON: i-

you-

jgfdjgdfhjgjdgfh

 

hamster bitch: i never had the chance 

 

that one bICON: rEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE 

GUYS IM SCREAMIN

MICKEY SAID THAT JOEY SAYS HI

 

bonus johnny: ANGEL HI I LOVE YOU 

 

that one bICON: WAIT WAIT WAIT

 

- that one bICON added Mickey Leigh to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

- that one bICON changed Mickey Leigh ’s nickname to mickey mouse !-

 

babey punk: DAD HI HOW ARE YOU

HI MICKEY 

 

mickey mouse: hi!! :)

 

that one bICON: /EVERYONE SPAM LOVE MESSAGES FOR JOEY/

 

hamster bitch: JOEY HI IT’S SID THE DUMBASS I MISS YOU 

 

bonus johnny: ANGEL

HI
I LOVE YOU
I MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW
I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU AGAIN

I LOVE YOU

wait i said that already

I’LL SAY IT AGAIN FUCK IT 

 

that one bICON: I MISS YOU DEAREST CHILD I MISS YOU SO MUCH (not as much as johnny misses you)

WE LOVE AND MISS AND SUPPORT YOU

 

mickey mouse: he says thank you and that he misses all of you and cant wait to see u guys again :)

especially johnny :3

 

wild flower child: oh shit i might be late but-

HI JOEY WE MISS YOU AND HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER SOON

ALSO SORRY AGAIN FOR VIBE CHECKING YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH A TEXTBOOK 

 

gay child: hI DAD WE LOVE AND MISS YOUUUUU

FEEL BETTER WE LOVE YOU

mickey mouse: joey says its fine and that john probably deserved it 

 

bonus johnny: hey D: 

 

mickey mouse: he says he missed john the most uwu

 

bonus johnny: i miss him more 

 

that one bICON: congrats on being missed the most lmfao

 

mickey mouse: uwu!!!

he says that he’ll work as quick as he can to come back :)

 

bonus johnny: can you tell him i love him one more time before my phone gets confiscakjLjf

 

wild flower child: fuck the teacher took his phone 

 

mickey mouse: HE SAYS HE LOVES YOU MORE

 

that one bICON: oop-

 

hamster bitch: and they say romance is dead 

 

that one bICON: fr tho-

 

babey punk: who tf cares about romeo and juliet they didn’t even go through w a plan properly give me a joey and johnny love

 

that one bICON: yall

we dont care about adam and eve here

here

we care about adam and STEVE

 

mickey mouse: THAT JUST MADE JOEY GRIN LIKE AN IDIOT AND HIS SMILE IS SO PRECIOUS

 

hamster bitch: OKAY BUT DEE DEE STEVE IS ACTUALLY DATING A DUDE NAMED ADAM 

 

bonus johnny: which steve

 

that one bICON: i-

eXcUSe mE

 

hamster bitch: jones 

that one bICON: and whos le adam

pLSPLSPLSPLSPLSLETITBEADAMLAMBERTSDJKGHDKJGHFDKJGF

 

hamster bitch: um

no it’s dollar store adam 

lambert is dating another dude i think 

actually don’t even know the guy’s last name 

 

babey punk: ngl that’s kiiiiiiIIIIIIIiiiiiinda sus 

uhg axl is being an asshole again

not to me for once

just in general 

he’s an asshole by existing

but like

can he Not 

NO ONE CARES AXL JESUS FUCK

 

wild flower child: am also in that class can confirm NO ONE GIVES A FUCK AXL
NOT FOR YOU OR TO YOU 

can that slash kid he has an obvious crush on just dick him down already jesus 

 

hamster bitch: ajdhaisdjdfpoifj YES
OPERATION GET AXL ROSE DICKED DOWN SO HE STOPS BEING A DICK 

 

babey punk: how tho

 

hamster bitch: um

well 

i didn’t there yet

 

wild flower child: shortened to OGARDDSHSBAD 

 

babey punk: SID WTF

DID YOU REALLY JUST DO THAT

 

hamster bitch: yes 

 

wild flower child: I’M SCREECHING 

 

babey punk: I KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU YOU ARE LOUD™ 

 

mom: i just got my phone back

what happened

 

babey punk: SID JUST RAN INTO OUR CLASS
POINTED AT AXL
SHOUTED “AXL ROSE MY GOOD SIR YOU NEED TO BE DIDCKED DOWN”
THEN POINTED AT SLASH AND SAID “ACT ON YOUR OBVIOUS CRUSH ON HIM”
AND THEN NARUTO RAN OUT 

 

wild flower child: i stan one (1) icon 

 

babey punk: THE TEACHER IS JUST STANDING THERE LIKE “WTF IS HAPPENING” 

 

hamster bitch: well i have detention but it was worth it 

 

wild flower child: wait hold on

 

babey punk: GIA WTF 

 

mom: oh no what did she do 

 

babey punk: SHE JUST STOOD UP AND YELLED “AXL SID GOT DETENTION FOR THE SAKE OF GETTING YOU DICKED DOWN YOU BETTER FEEL FUCKIN SPECIAL”

 

wild flower child: sid i will be joining you in detention 

 

mom: why 

 

mickey mouse: sorry joey had another panic attack but hes okay now uwu

 

babey punk: oh no dad ;_; 

 

hamster bitch: wait did you tell him what we’re doing?????

 

mickey mouse: nah hes just super anxious

hes not used to being locked up like this for longer than like a day or two or three

 

hamster bitch: awwwwwwwww poor dad ;_; 

 

mickey mouse: nurse just said that he’s already almost done with testing!! :)

 

bonus johnny: YES

GOOD
HE CAN GET OUT SOON RIGHT 

 

mickey mouse: probably uwu

hes tryna not get his hopes up

 

hamster bitch: still 

that’s good, right? 

 

mickey mouse: yep :3

 

bonus johnny: also stole my phone back in the confusion

may i pls know how sid and kurt got arrested 

 

mickey mouse: joey says hewwo uwu

 

bonus johnny: HI ANGEL 

 

mickey mouse: he says he misses u the most lol

 

bonus johnny: i miss him more :(

 

mickey mouse: yall are honestly sooooo fuckin adorable-

 

bonus johnny: nice to know the brother approves 

 

hamster bitch: DID YOU TELL HIM OUR PLAN TO GET AXL DICKED DOWN

BC THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST IDEA I’VE HAD 

 

mickey mouse: he just gRINNED-

 

that one bICON: KJFDHGFDKJHKJD Y A Y

SMILE FOR US DAD WE LOVE YOU

WE LOVE YOU

AND APPRECIATE YOU

 

mickey mouse: he says thank you and that he loves you very much as well uwu

 

babey punk: tell dad I love him too pls??

 

mickey mouse: i did, he loves you too <3

 

wild flower child: oh fuck this detention is saturday 

OH TELL HIM I ALSO LOVE HIM

 

gay child: tell him i love him too? pls???

 

mickey mouse: OKAY HONESTLY YOU GUYS CAN JUST START FUCKING SPAMMING INTO THE CHAT BECAUSE HES WATCHING RIGHT OVER MY SHOULDER

 

that one bICON: WE LOVE YOU DAD

WE LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

WE APPRECIATE YOU

YOU ARE AWESOME UWU

WE ALSO MISS YOU SM

 

wild flower child : HI DAD ILY 

 

gay child: ILYSM DAD I MISS YOU

 

bonus johnny: ANGEL I LOVE AND MISS YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING 

 

mickey mouse: hey its joey hehe dont tell

I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH TOO AHH 

ALL OF THIS JUST MADE MY DAY :3

TYSM X3 ILL TRY TO BE OUT FAST

 

hamster bitch: ILY

also saturday detention is a real thing time to recreate the breakfast club

 

babey punk: i gotta see this

i’ll be y’alls allison since i don’t actually have detention i’ll just show up