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Classic Rock Crack Fic- Group Chat

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-Sid Vicious has added Johnny Rotten, Steve Jones, Paul Cook, and Dee Dee Ramone to the group chat! -

 

Sid Vicious: help math will kill me

 

Johnny Rotten: okay same here but why is dee dee here (no offense) 

 

Dee Dee Ramone: yeah why? This looks like it was supposed to be a band thingy (none taken)

 

Sid Vicious: bc he’s cool i like him 

 

Dee Dee Ramone: ty sid ty

 

Sid Vicious: :D

 

Steve Jones: sid stop being a smol

 

Sid Vicious: excuse you i am Long™

 

Steve Jones: yeah u are physically 

but spiritually 

U are smol

 

Johnny Rotten: okay but I have to do something 

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Steve Jones’ s nickname to jonesy !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Paul Cook ’s nickname to cookie !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Dee Dee Ramone’ s nickname to fuck if i know where to go with this one !-

 

- Johnny Rotten changed Sid Vicious ’s nickname to hamster bitch !-

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: HaMsTeR bItCh

 

hamster bitch: DAMNIT JOHN

IT WAS YOUR HAMSTER THAT BIT ME

 

cookie: hey we never heard that one

wait a sec

 

- cookie changed Johnny Rotten ’s nickname to filth !-

 

filth!: wow okay

ur lucky im trying not to get caught or i will change ur nickname

 

cookie: try it bitch boi

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: hey gays mind if i add joey he has the sad™ today and i feel bad

also johnny (our johnny not u johnny) has been giving him shit all day and it’s Yikes™

 

hamster bitch: yeah sure he’s cool to!!!

 

- fuck if i know where to go with this one added Joey Ramone to the group chat!-

 

Joey Ramone: hi why do i feel like something is happening and is it bad i can already figure out whos who except for hamster bitch

 

hamster bitch: it’s sid but apparently both johnnys are DICKBAGS

oh wait i’m not the tallest in the chat anymore :(

 

- filth! changed Joey Ramone ’s nickname to leggy boi !-

 

filth!: sorry but i need to do that

no proper names here

 

leggy boi: okay fair

also i just noticed dee dee said gays instead of guys before adding me

 

hamster bitch: yeah but idc

i’m like 

idk but it’s not straight

 

cookie: does oUR LIL SID HAVE A CRUSH????

 

hamster bitch: NO SHUT UP

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: HOLY SHIT HE DOES

 

filth: I’M IN CLASS W HIM RN AND HE’S BRIGHT RED-

SIDNEY WHO ARE YOU GAY FOR 

 

leggy boi: “johnny are you queer”? nope it’s “sidney are you queer” now

 

hamster bitch: IM NOT GAY FOR ANYONE

 

leggy boi: are you sure about that tho

 

leggy boi: honey everyone is gay to some point 

 

hamster bitch: yeah but i’m not gay for CERTAIN person

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: i thought that said creatin for a sec im-

 

leggy boi: that’s a bullshit lie

 

leggy boi: jesus you’re so weird doug

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: true true true

oH
GUYS

DID I TELL YOU I GOT CALLED A CREATIN EARLIER??? 

 

leggy boi: wait fr

 

leggy boi: thats probably because you ARE a creatin smh

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: weirdo creatin \./

Why did i think that looked like a peace sign 

 

leggy boi: douglas-

 

cookie: WAIT

DEE DEE

YOUR NAME

IS DOUGLAS?????

 

leggy boi: you didn’t know???

 

leggy boi: bitch even LOOKS like a douglas smh

 

cookie: EVERYONE CALLS HIM DEE DEE HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

DOUGLAS
D O U G L A S

 

leggy boi: bitch looks like a fuckin’ lego

 

leggy boi: cause he’s a lil lego bitch that prefers to be called dee dee :/

 

fuck if i know where to go with this one: please stop-

I came to have a good time and i’m honestly feeling so attacked rn 

 

jonesy: hA he just got kicked out for laughing

 

hamster bitch: well this is wild

FREDDIE FUCKING MERCURY JUST CAME IN DANCING BALLET WHAT- 

 

filth: iconic 

 

hamster bitch: HE’S NOT EVEN IN THIS CLASS

Wait johnny where’d you go

 

- leggy boi changed fuck if i know where to go with this one ’s name to that one bICON !-

 

leggy boi: there that’s better :)

 

that one bICON: ty joey ily 

 

filth: lol sneaked out because the teacher is a dick

 

leggy boi: sorry had to hide my phone lol and no problem

 

leggy boi: johnny which class u in

 

filth: i was in math w sid but i just ditched 

now i am wandering the halls

 

that one bICON: hold on i’m joining you johnny (our johnny) is being a dick behind me 

 

leggy boi: i dont get why john is always such a fuckin prick tbh

 

that one bICON: bc he’s a bitch boi

LET’S ALL DITCH AND HANG ON THE ROOF

 

filth: already on the way

 

hamster bitch: HOLD ON IM OUTTA HERE

 

cookie: sid did you just naruto run down the hall 

 

leggy boi: i just saw him

he zoom

i’m going out to gimme a sec

tommy is coming

and he just dragged marky out 

this should be fun




that one bICON: YAS MARKY MY DUDE

CAN WE ADD HIM CAN WE ADD HIM CAN WE ADD HIM

 

hamster bitch: ADD THEM BOTH

 

cookie: fun fact sid stopped to type that before naruto running again

leggy boi: sid chill for fucks sake you almost knocked me over

 

- that one bICON added Tommy Ramone and Marky Ramone to the group chat!-

 

- leggy boi changed Marky Ramone ’s name to Plumber Boi !-

 

leggy boi: there that’s better lmfao

 

Plumber Boi: i really fucking hate you, i just want you to know that, okay?

 

leggy boi: haha love you too

 

- that one bICON changed the group name to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

filth: SID FOR FUCKS SAKE STOP NARUTO RUNNING

WHY AM I FRIENDS WITH YOU

 

Tommy Ramone: why do i get the feeling i need to be the mature one

 

that one bICON: pls your the best mom friend 

 

filth: OH I GOT ONE

 

- filth changed Tommy Ramone ’s nickname to mom !-

 

hamster bitch: mother? 

 

mom: johnny i will give you 3 seconds

 

cookie: that sentence did not help your case

 

leggy boi: *sits back and casually eats popcorn* this is fun.

 

hamster bitch: I AM HERE

 

that one bICON: did you even breath.

 

hamster bitch: I did not have time 

 

jonesy: hey yeah almost there 

 

leggy boi: WE ARE ALSO HERE

 

cookie: SQUAD

ASSEMBLE 

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️

 

cookie: don’t gimme that emoji

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️

 

mom: good lord here we go again

 

cookie: bitch

 

mom: don’t give me that foul language

 

cookie: bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch- 

 

mom: fuckin slut bitch don’t mAKE mE come OVER there

 

leggy boi: yall fucked with the wrong person 

oh sweet jesus

y’all i speak from experience here:

tommy is scary when he’s angry

 

hamster bitch: REGRETS, I’VE HAD A FEW

 

filth!: STOP WITH THE FRANK SINATRA FOR FUCKS SAKE NO ONE CARES

 

leggy boi: SID SHUT UP SKJGHFGKJFG

 

hamster bitch: wow

Okay

 

that one bICON: am i the only one a lil worried over how quiet he just got or??? 

 

leggy boi: who? tommy? or sid??

If you’re talking about tommy then you better sprint

 

that one bICON: sid

ik about tommy 

 

leggy boi: sid are you alive??? 

 

hamster bitch: yeah i just shut up 

 

filthy: sid we didn’t mean it like that- 

pls stop being so quiet its freaky 

 

leggy boi: ngl it really truly is seeing you be quiet

 

hamster bitch: DO YOU PEOPLE WANT ME TO SHUT UP OR NOT

 

leggy boi: woah okay c h i l l there mate

 

that one bICON: sid did you just angrly naruto run off the roof

 

leggy boi: excuse me wHAT

 

leggy boi: chECK IF HES OKAY YOU IDIOT

 

jonesy: he’s fine he just ran by me

but seriously he looks actually upset-

i have never seen him this sad it lowkey it almost hurts-

 

leggy boi: imma go find him

my son needs cuddles uwu

 

filth: do u regularly adopt people

 

leggy boi: isn’t that my job

i mean

im a severely mentally ill person

its kinda my job to casually adopt people 

so that way they feel like they have a place where they belong :3

 

jonesy: wow this got very wholesome very fast aww

can you adopt me too

 

leggy boi: try not being a fucking dick and maybe THEN i’ll adopt you 

 

that one bICON: pFFFT-

 

filth: that’s what you get for stealing my one not shitty water bottle 

 

leggy boi: dont make me find you and beat your ass harder than i did axl’s smfh

 

cookie: wait

WAIT THAT WAS YOU

 

leggy boi: uhhh-

 

leggy boi: sis needa catch up

 

cookie: THAT COBAIN KID IN THE YEAR BELOW US WAS TALKING ABOUT IT AT LUNCH

HE WAS ONE OF THE KIDS AXL WAS BEING SHITTY TO
HE SAID HE LOVED THE PERSON WHO DID IT LOL 

 

leggy boi: bro that cobain kid is sooooo nice-

him and sid are my newest chirren uwu

 

that one bICON: should we add him

 

- leggy boi added Kurt Cobain to the group chat!-

- leggy boi changed Kurt Cobain ’s name to babey punk !-

 

leggy boi: kurt my dear son welcome to hell

babey punk: hello idk what’s happening but i will not question it

also why is sid vicious naruto running down the hall 

oh the principal just caught him 

r i p

 

leggy boi: I JUST CHOKED ON MY WATER SDKJGHSFKGJ

 

filth: can i waterfall????? someone stole my water bottle >.>

 

leggy boi: i’ll buy you a new one @ the vending machine outside of whatshisfaces room lmao

 

filth: thank you but sTEVE STILL STOLE MY LAST DECENT WATER BOTTLE LIKE A DICK SHIT-

 

leggy boi: lol my check comes today so i can buy you a fancy one

 

filth: you don’t have to do that

I have another bottle at home but i’m still pissed at steve

 

jonesy: WHY ARE YOU MAD WHEN YOU HAVE ANOTHER

 

filth: BC I GAVE ALL THE GOOD ONES TO MY LIL SIBLINGS 

 

leggy boi: should i add my brother into this gc lmfao

 

filth: i don’t think anyone else will object 

 

- leggy boi added Mitchel Hyman to the group chat!-

- leggy boi changed Mitchel Hyman ’s name to smol bro !-

 

leggy boi: wassup lil bro

 

smol bro: damnit i was paying attention

 

jonesy: H Y M A N

 

hamster bitch: it’s like your last name is saying hi

 

leggy boi: well that’s us jews for ya

 

leggy boi: btw its pronounced “high-men”

and yes, it DOES trigger my OCD lmao

 

jonesy: my mind went to a much less innocent place than sid’s did 

 

filth: steve wtf

that is someones NAME 

you Do Not Do That

 

leggy boi: guys how do i escape johnny (our johnny)

he just threatened to beat me up for so fuckin reason

im gonna have a panic attack lol

 

that one bICON: fuck this i’m fighting him 

 

leggy boi: have fun getting your ass beat

where are you i need cuddles

like really bad ;-;

 

that one bICON: OMW

 

filth: can everyone stop naruto running pls

 

leggy boi: yay :3

 

leggy boi: nobody cares about naruto running anymore

it’s dead

just like i wanna be-

 

hamster bitch: dad no pls

 

leggy boi: tHERE’S MAI SON UWU

CMERE SO DAD CAN YOU CHU LE CUDDLES UWU

 

hamster bitch: i wanna 

but i am stuck in the principal office

not fun

babey punk: the big oof

 

leggy boi: jesus christ

here we go again~

 

hamster bitch: guess who has detention :D

 

leggy boi: that’s your punishment you idiot lmfao

dumbfuck bitch headass

 

hamster bitch: i knew that… 

can i not be sarcastic 

 

leggy boi: can you not be a dumbfuck all the fucking time?

 

hamster bitch: you know what? 

fine 

 

- hamster bitch has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

leggy boi: “tHAtS nOt vERY pUnk rOck oF yOu”

 

leggy boi: he *does* know im just fucking around

right 

 

cookie: uh, guys?

i just saw sid in the hall 

he legit looked like he was about to cry

 

filth: eh he’s been like that all day

over-sensitive 

it’s just that kinda day for him

 

that one bICON: yeah no i saw him too he looked actually upset

should i talk to him? 

 

leggy boi: probably

my lil son probably goin thru some shit

the poor bean

 

leggy boi: okay i officially feel bad and guilty now

 

plumber boi: full offense but you should feel bad 

 

that one bICON: ha nvm Mercury beat me to it 

hmmmmnnnn 

 

leggy boi: fuck it 

bye 

 

- leggy boi has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

jonesy: noooooooo the squad is collapsing 

tommy you were voted mom friend pls help 

 

mom: for fucks sake you guys this is all yall’s fault but mine

 

cookie: JUST BECAUSE IT WAS OUR FAULT DOESN’T MEAN WE KNOW HOW TO FIX IT

 

mom: y’all are the most untrustworthy most troublesome children that i have ever met in my entire fifteen years of being a casual friendly neighborhood jew.

 

filth: hey we’re trying our best

i mean it’s shit

But we’re TRYING

 

mom: y’all motherfuckers best be tryin harder smfh

y’all fuckin wear me o u t

 

jonesy: :(

 

mom: y’all can’t give me ONE DAY to relax, can you? 😩😩😩

y’all i’m too fuckin tired to deal with yalls bullshit anymore 😩😩😩

 

cookie: BUT FATHER IS GONE WE HAVE NO ONE ELSE TO TURN TO

 

mom: maybe if y’all werent such s h i t h e a d s he’d still be here

 

cookie: we didn’t mean it tho

he knows we were just joking 

 

mom: :/

 

filth: what???? we were

 

mom: this is y’alls problem

byeeeee

 

- mom has left CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

cookie: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WTF DO WE DO

WE HAVE NO RESPONSIBLE ONES

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

 

that one bICON: sorry i got sidetracked 

what happened

nO tOMMY lEFt

oH nO

 

cookie: WE HAVE NO SUPERVISION 

wait sidetracked by what i thought you were with sid 

 

that one bICON: Mercury beat me to comforting sid and i was standing by to make sure nothing happened bc he seems great but idk him well enough and sid is a bit of a mess rn

Also i think side has a crush on him and if he hurts him more i will be forced to fight him

*sid

gotta protecc my Bassist Bud ™ 

 

babey punk: im just gonna pretend that im not here

 

that one bICON: noooooooo child :(

 

babey punk: heheheh

 

cookie: wait what do you mean you think sid has a crush on Mercury

 

babey punk: Freddie is in my choir class and he has the best voice tbh

 

that one bICON: ngl i wouldnt be surprised if he got every solo :/

 

filth: same tbh 

but what do you mean sid had a crush on him???

 

that one bICON: i mean he just broke down freely in front of him which usually dosen’t do unless he trusts them 

and they aren’t very close

soooo- 

 

babey punk: poor childer :(

now i just wanna hug this poor kid ;-;

 

filth: kurt you’re the youngest in this chat

 

babey punk: and?

what’s wrong with caring for a kid that’s older than me?

 

jonesy: Dee Dee and Kurt are both wholesome we should all be more like them

 

babey punk: im wholesome now because you said that

 

jonesy: uwu

Hold on we need mom and dad and sid back

 

- jonesy added hamster bitch , leggy boi , and mom to CREATIN CLUSTERFUCK !-

 

cookie: hello we missed yall 

and also need Responsible Adults 

 

leggy boi: ughhh i dont wanna bE hERE

and honestly since when am i a “responsible adult”

 

cookie: better than most of us

 

leggy boi: once again h o w

 

jonesy: have you not met us?????

we are Chaos Children™ 

 

mom: yes i can see

 

filith: so

sid 

mercury, huh? 

 

leggy boi: oh sweet jesus here we go again

 

hamster bitch: yes he was nice to me what about it

 

filth: so is he your crush???? 

 

hamster bitch: will any of you ever let go of the possibility of me having a crush?????

 

leggy boi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA no.

HAHAHAHAHA YOU FUNNY

 

hamster bitch: why are you all so bloody obsessed with me having a crush???

 

cookie: bc it’s YOU

 

leggy boi: because you’re like the l a s t person we’d expect to have a fuckin crush tbfh

 

hamster bitch: AND I DON’T HAVE ONE

 

filth: it’s painfully obvious that you do 

 

hamster bitch: it’s none of your business

leave it alone, ya?  

 

that one bICON: then why are you all defensive

 

leggy boi: fr though like

honestly

if you don’t like someone

then y u so defensive 

 

hamster bitch: BECAUSE YOU ALL KEEP INSISTING THAT I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

leggy boi: if you dont have a crush then stop being so defensive lmfao

 

hamster bitch: THEN LEAVE ME ALONE ABOUT IT

 

leggy boi: 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️

 

that one bICON: actually is my business i need to protect my Bassist Bud ™ 

 

leggy boi: out of respect for your sensitive lil self

im not gonna say what i was gonna say

plus i honestly just forgot what i was gonna say lmfao

 

cookie: a whole mood

 

leggy boi: im like the most forgetful person that yall will *EVER* meet smfh

 

mom: why is everyone like this

sid: chill it’s fine

everyone else: just ignore his obvious crush on freddie 

 

leggy boi: can i go to bed

 

mom: yes joey go to the nurse and tell her you have a headache she will let you take a nap and not bother you unless you stay til dismissal 

 

leggy boi: wait fr?

this-

tHIS.

 

mom: yes

if y’all didn’t sleep last night go do that 

you can make up class but not sleep and misery 

 

jonesy: tommy teaching some good self care tips what a good mom

 

mom: it’d be amazing if i took my own advice :)

 

leggy boi: bro i was just so depressed last night that i couldnt sleep lmao

also same on tommy’s statement

 

jonesy: let’s all go take naps :)


leggy boi: im literally yawning just thinking and talking about alla this